The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 236 – Tug Douglas

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

I got my eye on u boy

Okay, good morning. Good morning, everyone. Now that I got that set, there's 15 hours remaining. That's all right. We're doing a little adult swim on this one. Oh yeah. We're doing a little straight swim. Yeah, so on this one. Guys with regular dick swim, I wake up at like 6 a.m. every day. Yeah. So I'm up, you know, walking around, doing karate down here in his robe. Yeah. And then, you know, Stav wakes up, because Stav has sleep apnea, so he wakes up. That's not the reason. For a different reason. I have a machine that regulates my sleep. He wakes up with sleep apnea. I don't wake up with sleep apnea anymore. And in fact, my Fitbit could tell you right now how many hours of sleep. Do

you wear it while you're asleep? Yeah, dude, checks my sleep. Because my dad's got sleep apnea, and I got him an Apple Watch, and he was like, all excited to use a sleep tracker, but I'm like, you got to charge your shit while you're asleep. No, I did. I mean, I guess he could probably charge it during the day. That's what I do. Because he doesn't do exercise. Right. So that's why I need the Apple Watch, because it's like a track. You're not fucking every hour of the day, you're not doing exercise. Well, I'm at my desk doing a little something like charging. I use it as an activity track, because I try to hit like the minimum, like, right, but you're sitting at your desk working for at least

a couple hours. That's when you charge it. No, I'm constantly standing. In fact, I'm standing right now. I didn't even hand you my jacket. I got six hours and 34 minutes of sleep last night. I was awake for 46 minutes of it. Really? Let me see. Let me check my sleep. That's mostly in the morning, when I just kind of wake up and lie there. Let me see. Yeah, dude, this shit rocks. I went to bed at 153 a.m. and I woke up at 913 a.m. Yeah, see, this just you can only like set a sleep goal. And that and I was strapped up to the apnea mask with fucking beautiful fresh air pumping into my lungs. Yeah, anyway, ensuring I don't die. I'm up early, you know, I'm up the second earliest. I'm getting my

shit ready to go for the day. Stop, wake up, wake something. And then we said, wouldn't be funny if we just didn't wake up at him. Did the show without him. And it was so such a good idea. He's right upstairs. He's probably awake. He's dreaming. He's probably just fucking asleep. He's in bed. He's in bed looking. He kept Tumblr. Somehow his is the only Tumblr that doesn't not have porn anymore. He's in bed masturbating the pictures of his girlfriend with a loser. On vacation, bro, look at porn. Look at porn. He's just he's got a picture of said they had another friend to shoot it from behind. It's the two of them in Harvard Square holding hands. He's masturbating that picture in the autumn. Yeah, he's got a scented

candle that she likes. He's smelling that. You ever jack off the smells? No, but there's there's been, you know, when you use like somebody else's shower and they'll use like a shampoo of somebody that sucked you off at one time. Absolutely. You get hard looking at that blue that blue curls. What was that one? Yeah, you gotta have a beat off in the shower and you walk out. You're like, hey, pal, that thing's a bath now. That thing's permanently a bath. Give that about 25 minutes before you look at the drain. Don't don't look at the drain at all. I remember when I was like 13, I discovered beating off in the shower. I discovered it. Yeah, like Christopher Columbus. That's a very Columbus move. Buster

for Buster. Columbus. Buster for make Columbus. There we go. I need the money. I need the money to go on my boat and beat off. I need to go to the boat. I can a bit off over here on the sea level. I want to go see if there is if we could go around the world if there's a way to put your penis in it. My idea is that the world is not round, but also there's a hole on one side in the center. There's a pussy and one and you can only get to it from India and you can fuck the globe like a big beautiful lady. The globe can be sexually fucked. I need a two million francs for that. Well, here you talk to the Queen of Spain. He went to every fucking Queen of Italy, Italy, so Columbus he was he was Italian, but the

Spanish funded him, right? I believe so. Yeah. And according to Furio, I think he was a Northern Italian. What do you say? Columbus. I don't like him. I don't remember where Columbus from because he's not Napolese. He's not he's not Napolitan. Where the fuck was Columbus from? Yeah, he was a fucking he was just begging monarchs who were trying to get their cloud up. Yeah. To fund him. Who discovered America? Columbus. Oh, so it was him. Oh, it's kind of said that who the fuck was America of a spoochy? Everyone talks about him, but I've never heard his story. Does he and what were his three ships named? The pussy, the penis and the suck him up penis. Exactly. The pussy, the penis, the suck him up penis. The penis

was genetic. The suck and the fucking stick and the dick and the pussy. I might be one of the most like a beautiful collection of syllables that has ever come out of my mouth. Absolutely. Oh, he's Genovese. Yeah. He's from Genoa. The suck and the fucking stick and the dick and the pussy. The suck and the fucking stick and the dick and the pussy. It feels so awesome to say. Yeah. And it's it's real. I was just I was just sorry I was a little boss. I was just makes me feel how the color fell as you must feel when I do the wraps. Absolutely. I feel like Twista right now. Yeah, I feel like Twista. I feel like it's the mid 2000s and I'm fucking doing a guest verse on everybody's fast song. Lord

Buckley is. I don't. He's just like, he's just fucking, I don't know if he's American, but you do this like weird look British character. I don't know. It was like a character. I don't know if it's jazz necessarily. Well, this sounds honestly, everything you're saying sounds gay or by the instant. It's fucking it's one of the worst things like that that has ever been made. What year is this guy from? What era 1950s or something. And there's you and I dig all you cats out there whippin and whaling and jumping up and down and sucking up that fine juice and patting each other on the back and telling each other who the greatest cat in the world is. Mr. Madden called Mr. Dallen called Mr. Eisenhower and

who's and we's and my son was a and Mr. Woodhill and Mr. Beach Hill and Mr. Choice and all them hills they gonna get his street. So it's basically it was a black guy that did the voice or a white guy did the voice rather than paint himself. And so it was like considered jazz. But it's it was like spoken word. Black voice. Yeah. You're trying to get some pussy, but you ain't got you ain't got you ain't got no pussy. You ain't got no motherfucking pussy. Come around here. This is a general store. We only got two kinds of sweet potatoes. We got regular sweet potatoes and we got yams. The yams you can fuck. You can stick your dick in them. You can cut the top of the can out. Stick your dick straight through the

damn thing. Looking like a train going in the tunnel coming out the other end covered it. Orange, orange, sticky, icky, icky, gucky, gucky baby please come over here. She could wipe down my car with her ass. We used to cover her head. We'll put a sundress down and use it as a squeegee. Clean all the windows off the Coupe de Ville. Back when I got bubble windows. Remember that bubbles big old bubbles like a retard will blow while he's asleep. Coming off his head so big you could go live in it like a biodome with Paulie. Remember that Paulie Shor? He would do yoga in the movie. Paulie Shor movie. He was so flexible from the yoga he could suck his own dick. You got two ways you can suck your dick. You

can either bend or you can have a big dick. There's two ways to go. That's the yin and yang of life. Some men they got hogs so big they can suck them standing up. He's saluting the flag. He's got his cock in his mouth. Other guys they got a fold up like a pretzel. They call him Snyder. They call him Snyder the penis hider because he bent over and put his cock so far down his own throat. Very, very nice. Got me over here coughing maybe because I pooped. That's pretty good dude. Sucking on my penis, getting my dick hard, taking it out, putting it in the man's eyes. Making you bug me, taking it to the store, pulling my dick out. He's a really good guy. That's a big old bitch. Biggest you ever seen

so big she clipped herself more than the whole damn thing blew up. They call her the handed bird. Bit so fat she grew a swastika on her ass. Very good Lord Buckley. Yeah. That was spoken word. That was awesome. Yeah. Now who's that the modern equivalent? Not Bubba Sparks or something like that. Seth Simons. Good. Seth Simons. I saw somebody say a slur when he was in eighth grade. I saw that motherfucker go, say eagle, eagle, eagle. One of the worst things I've ever seen. Eagle, eagle. Damn. That's one of those kids where it's like you know they make all these common sense arguments against bullying. It's like yeah why do children do that to each other? There's no reason. I mean it's really you know you think back

about like you know because it's both doled out and received. It's like there's a lot of like emotional trauma that everyone goes through in the first 15 years of life just because like human beings are kind of ill-suited for socialization. Right. Right. I mean some people are. I don't want to say. Well not ill-suited. They're not ill-suited for socialization but just because they're fucking shitheads and cruel and like you know it's like that is sort of part of. It's not all, it's not, you're I guess libidinal impulses to be aggressive or shitty towards people aren't properly sublimated yet at that age. Yeah. Mainly because we don't allow children to join something like a police organization for youth. Like a youth army.

No because a lot of it, a lot of people they, one of the good things Hitler did. I mean look if you had a way for children to properly sublimate their libidinal impulse towards organizational state violence they wouldn't need bullying. Exactly and one of the things that marked Hitler's Germany was how peaceful everyone was as an adult. Anyways. Because you got out of your system as a kid. They didn't do anything wild. I'm not saying they got out of their sit but I will make this argument. Okay. You can fact-check me on this? Okay I would love to. There was no bullying in Germany. They did not have it. It didn't exist. Everybody come inside. It's time to share your feelings. We're all pretty. We're going to do conflict

mediation. Yeah. We're only punching up. But I don't know. With that guy you watch that video and you're like okay. This may ask us boys. Maybe bullying does, maybe bullying does have a place. Sure. Just for this, this type of person. The type of person who decides I'm going to be a snitch. Yeah. For professionally. Beyond the snitch he's getting it on social media now because apparently he was like just shitting all over like Rebecca or the Creek in the Cave or something. Because they closed. See that's interesting to me because it's like you're not even a fucking comp. Like maybe some comics could have had. I liked the Creek in the Cave whatever. I was there. I didn't really experience it and some people

really loved it. But I don't give a fuck. It's not really my place. I wasn't a part of that scene when it was like really jumping. This motherfucker isn't even. But I'm sure some comics have a fucking gripe with the Creek in the Cave. Fine. If you're a comic and it was bad to you. Well the gripe is that it's like it's not a fucking comic. It always smelled like diarrhea. It always smelled like shit. Yeah. And it was just a place for like autistic people. Right. The people around there were horrible sometimes. Right. It was a good hang a lot of the time. I mean to me it'd be like a game stop closed. Right. Right. Well it sucks. Yeah. But right. But I just mean I'm glad now you know what the benefit of

the Creek in the Cave closing. Yes. Is that there's no longer the risk of becoming someone that hangs out. Yeah. You might not wake up at thirty seven having another PBR on happy hour. Yeah. Trying to fuck a twenty three year old girl. A lot of those guys stand up. It's a good thing that there's nowhere to go. Yeah. It's like when they clear out an underpass and you're like well we're all these homeless people going to go and it's like probably to a warmer great. Yeah. Yes. This is probably somewhere better than where like RVs empty their septic tanks. This is a long term. This will be good for them. Yes. They'll go back to their five people in the three bedroom and Bushwick apartment. But I guess

my point was motherfucker wasn't even a stand up. It didn't affect you. Yeah. I think he wanted to. I don't know. I mean I don't really know anything about the guy. But yeah. With his like SNL grudge. It seems like he just wanted to be somebody that was like a TV writer and fancied himself funny because he was like that seems to happen a lot in motherfuckers that cover things. Whoever covers the thing. It's a guy I call like homework brain. Right. Of course. People who love homework and think that because they're good at school that they're automatically funny and that you can check a series of boxes if it was like. Yeah. Exactly. The opposite of true. Which is how Donald Trump became president. It's all the evidence.

You know like it's it's the homework brain is very similar to that's what I should have said mentality. Right. Right. Right. You know even if like that's why I mean Hillary is the ultimate example of homework brain. She checked off every single box of what you're supposed to do to get to do what you want. But it's like nobody liked you bro. I think the worst era of homework brain was probably like 2013 2014. I don't know if you remember the toast. That that website was is it like there was a there was a period where like all online humor was like that. Mick Sweeney's tear. Oh yeah. Like fucking dog shit. Right. Shouts barely a joke with like way too many words. Yeah. It's like what if what if like texts from Jane

Austin is the best example. Yeah. Plug anything into that formula which is like here's a reference to college to a thing I had to learn and then you know modern Seinfeld. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know just updating it or whatever. Right. Right. At least modern Seinfeld is stealing Seinfeld and not some gay book. Remember Seinfeld 2000. It was like making fun. Yes I do. That's pretty good. Crane gets his dick sucked outside off Tinder. Crane goes on Tinder and gets pussy. That's my Seinfeld 2000. Yeah. Claymore. Claymore. Oh fuck dude. Yeah. I think I don't have fucking homework brain dude. All I got is getting fucked up playing settlers of Catan with my boys on drugs. And then losing a Mario Kart. Yeah. You're so fucking good at Mario

Kart. You know you guys are just bad at it. You don't know like you have to. You were in first place except for fucking Rainbow Road where I ended with a nice third second place finish. That was bad driving on my part. Well I also got fucked over by Donkey Kong. It was exemplary driving. I'm not going to say anything about the other Kongs. This is specifically Donkey Kong. He's the one I have a problem with. So I don't want to hear anything about how I am. Your prejudice against the Kongs. Your prejudice against the Kong when it's specifically Donkey Kong. But no you guys don't know how to. And I tried to tell Adam. You can't like you don't just drive in Mario Kart. You have to like like drift the whole

time. It's a Tokyo drift situation. Yeah. You got to use the shoulder. Use the shoulder button. Oh I see. You start turning like way before. You spend most of the race sideways because when you drift like the car the back of the cart will turn blue and then red. Oh that's what happened a couple of times. It was pretty tight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And anytime you go over a jump you got to hit the shoulder button and then it'll like do a flip or something. You can drive. I didn't know any of this. That's why Adam was beating me. I was driving with nothing but panache. That being said I put a lot of time in the racing simulator. That's right. That's why you're good at it. My my my drive. Nick was in a way is his driving

wheel by the way. My whole racing sim setup. Dude I'm not going to I did not care about PlayStation 5. But if they do if they do like a Gran Turismo 7 special edition I'm going to get that. Of course dude. Yeah. You got to find a way to get that wheel going again. I have it going. But I mean on PS5. Yeah. Now that I got it. I mean you kind of let the cat out of the bag already but I kind of wanted to sometimes I like stuff for me. Of course. But there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. You know turning one of the room into a driving simulator. Yeah. That was a good no dude. Stop. No longer pretending that that's an office. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm going to go do emails. Yeah. This is my office.

I'm going to take my laptop from the couch to the office. There is an email bag of cat shit sitting in there for like a rumor. I put a contractor bag filled with garbage. Yeah. That's my office. Dude. I'm writing. I'm writing a novel in there about a fuck. That rocks. I'm jealous. I want to fucking arcade. I want a fucking little arcade machine. Yeah. Like a cabinet cabinet. You know the best one for home I always thought would be the old Jurassic Park one where you go. Oh fuck. It's like a photo booth. That one rocked. Yeah. I sucked at every one of those games. Dicks sucked in Jurassic Park. Chuck E. Cheese. When you're the fucking cool older cousins. Yeah. Dude. And you bring your girlfriend. Seven year old

getting ahead from Chuck E. when you're seven. Yeah. Close to curtain air. I'm being a grown up. You're probably afraid of this game. Afraid of getting molested by Chuck E. by getting your little child's dick sucked through his mouth. Suck E. Cheese. Suck E. Cheese baby. I hope it's a girl under here. I hope it's a fucking. I hope it's probably a hot girl. It's probably a 58 year old man but I'm pretending it's a girl. I'm having a dream. I'm having a cushy dream. Oh I'm having a cushy dream where the person sucking my dick as a child in the Chuck E. Cheese costume is a girl. I can't wait to get my penis sucked by Chucky Bust. Oh man. I used to. I don't know about you guys but if Chuck E. Cheese was open right

now what me and Nick would be doing would be smoking high quality CBD from our friends at Cushy Dreams getting absolutely not stoned but feeling good and then going and playing time crisis at Chuck E. Cheese. Don't you agree my friend Nicholas. I do agree. In fact I agree so much that I have to find the copy for the ad read. I don't know how you guys remember this shit. It's fucking it's the same bullet points over and over again. For example with cushy and listen they're not even bullet points to me because I love the fucking product so much. I love fake weed. I don't know real weed more. How about bullet ants bullet ants are those the ones that if they get in your cock they'll completely

like split it open. I hate that. I hate stuff that goes in your cock hole. There's that little fish apparently in the Amazon that swims up your dick hole and then it lives in your nuts. Yeah. And then it comes out like the fucking alien. Oh I just got an email back from the from a business. Yeah yeah we got it. We got it. We might be finally be time to switch podcast. Nice. Just because there's been. Yeah there's been issues. There has been. I don't know how to deal with it. Yeah. And I just don't. But I will say this we've been with shout engine for years. Right. And they've never charged us. That is weird. Well it's because it's like it's like three guys. Yeah yeah. And then you know like I

don't know like you know so like on one one one side it's like if something fucks up you know it's like it's like this. Right. Right. Just two guys. First of all I can empathize with that. Of course. More than anything. Running a business that's successful by accident. Yeah. With just two other guys. When the print shop sends out fucking 900 shirts that are completely wrong and then suddenly you owe a bunch of people $40,000. And you're like I tried my best. Why don't you just be happy for me for trying my best. I did. I tried something. But then the flip side is that there are also two like incompetent to ever charge us anything. Right. Right. You know. Exactly. My landlord is horrible. Right.

But at the same time we had an illegal room in there for three four years and he never knew. Right. It's like OK so yeah maybe sometimes you got a fucking toilet gets clogged but also you can have your have your good friend Ryan shut living your in an eight by eight space. I think it's finally time to pay for podcast. I think I have a single overhead for this fucking. I think four years in or whatever it is. Thank God we got cushy dreams. Thank God we smoke cushy dreams. You can smoke cushy dreams that chill you out while you deal with the anxiety of having to do anything. I know. And they got a lot of different blends too. They got now when we're actively doing work I like to smoke the fucking create. Yeah.

Or a castle. I smoke imperialism. And that's that's what I'm trying. Yeah. Racism imperialism colonialism that your favorite brand of cushy dreams is your favorite strain. My version of colonialism is when an Indian guy walks into a small room and you have to open a window because they've got too much. That's a very good analogy of what the British did to the world. Ironically much axe bodies. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. That's what the British did with tea and going. Yeah. They made everybody do that. Anyway. Look. Coronerism. That's what that's. Coronerism is when we make the Corona virus. Oh shit. And we send it all over the spot. Sponsor of cushy dreams. Coroner. Coroner. Coroner. Coroner. Coronerism is when

we make cushy. Sponsor of cushy dreams. We send the Corona virus. It's a new conspiracy theory that Corona. Corona virus. That I'm not. It sounds like history. The Japanese did the Corona virus not the Chinese. I was like it's the same accent. It's just like a fucking nerdy. History. History. The smoke of a penis. Smoke of a cushy dreams. My penis is too small. My penis is too small. Why is my penis is small? I'm gay. I'm a gay man. I wanted to suck a repeat. Yesterday I'm gay. I'm sorry. You said you're gay. I spent like an hour by myself just pretending to be Japanese into Syria and having Syria not understand me and laughing. I said I said yes. I said yes. I have a diarrhea. I have a diarrhea.

I have a diarrhea. Cushy dreams has you can either get eights. Yep. They got 3.5 G's Or my favorite the single pre-roll G gram joints and let me it's feels nice Yeah, I don't really fuck with you. I don't like because I don't want a bowl because I don't really smoke weed Right, so the pre-rolls are nice exactly. I also got a nice little lamp for my apartment. I love the lamp by the way So it starts to get that Amazon really yeah, just look up like they have like these Chinese made like fucking knockoff Tiffany lamp interesting They're like nice. It looks great. Yeah, interesting So I keep the lights down low and I smoke in there

And I said I have a home phone that I gossip on right who do you call? We go to Oh, but is it maybe I don't know people to nobody it's a gay man. No, it's not a gay man. Is it an older woman? Who are you gossiping with the types of people you gossiping with you know? Yeah, that's what I'm it's actually yes It is an older gay man. Thank you. Yeah, it's One of my older gay associates And it's not Adam I know many of you are thinking that that's that describes Adam perfectly Anyways, I smoke in and I so fills the apartment with smoke. It's a scene. It's fucking it's a hard core

It's a hardcore. It's a big mood And then the cushy dreams gets me just right yep And I'm ready to nicks over there smoking the cushy dreams. We like Lucius. You'll never believe what happened Lucius, it's the game's Norman Dorian you'll never Norman Wilkerson I don't want to put anybody Actual name his name is Norman Yes, I love smoking cushy dreams oldest and only friend

It's nice to call your boys in gossip. Yeah What the only problem now with my my friend a friend of mine moved in with me is that he took The guy that I actually I guess I could call Ben O'Brien Ben O'Brien still over there on LA time give him a fucking call see what's up with my boy Benny anyway folks go to cushydreams.com fucking smoke a joint and Gossip with your gay old friends You know you love it now a lot of you are going out there getting that fake Chinese Tiffany's lamp for that Nick has and

You're gonna and if you want to complete the thing you got to get a gay old friend And you got to buy most importantly some cushy dreams some cushy dreams. So go to cushydreams.com KUSHYdreams.com And you smoke your CBD because you can use promo code come down and let's never forget Smoke your CBD come down for 20% off your first order 20% first order smoke your CBD Because you can One of the Friday's marketing ultra premium premium Yeah, I think we covered all we got it. It is nice. So I like it. I like it too. I like it a lot better when see

Right now, we should have brought some actually we honestly should have but I'm currently we've been here two days not even right. Yeah day and a half Fully off the rails. I'm right and like it took we for a day kind of stuff I'm eating the excess is insane because we bought a healthy quote-unquote stuff and ate it and just ate everything I ate so much the only thing that was slightly bad is butter Adam's dumbass brought a loaf of bread that entire thing of carry gold But it's gone. It's gone. It's like I was spreading butter on my shit How I can cheese be a glutton with like a head of lettuce. Yeah, dude

I was I was shocked. I was gonna get a strawberry all gone. You ate berries and pineapples They're like animals don't get fat, but occasionally there'd be a squirrel or like a fucking orangutan That's like just obese and it's like I guess I would be that one I Like to think that I'd be one of the normal animals But there's just one of them. That's like fucking like what are those? What do you got there leaves? Yeah What is this leaves was this garbage? What the hell is this garbage? Let me try this out I've never had garbage before. Yeah, raccoons love garbage. They really do

I've got it my explore tab on Instagram is like nothing but like Korean raccoon accounts really yeah, cuz I follow a couple of them interesting Mine, let me see what I got mine's mostly basketball highlights and girls with big breasts You know what I think about doing once we get that the video set up mm-hmm, which that's coming by the way Yep, um instead of having our own YouTube channel Yeah, I mean when you think about this idea because there's already people that are like upload all the shit mm-hmm Just identify like the top five Accounts that already repost stuff mm-hmm, and then just give them the video to upload in exchange

for them like emailing view counts An aggregate view count, so I think that seems like a little too much Logistical work is it and also who are these guys? I have no idea. I don't give a shit. They're probably crazy. So what? Can they can they handle email that way you don't have to hopefully yeah, I Don't know we'll see yeah I mean we'll get the video guys actually probably would not be a problem to write like a scraper that just pulls the public view Yeah, isn't that one of the most readily available pieces of information in YouTube? It is I just don't want to actually go to the website

But there are like isn't there like back-end that analytics it only the account owner would I have access I don't think it's that crazy I'm we can look at my YouTube channel later. I haven't used it I was thinking about doing it that way because I like the idea of the brand being something that's just like distributed with no clear Yeah, you know Like we're although then with the one of those guys starts posting n-words because I like we don't own the come town I know but I like the idea of being like a wholesaler rather than like you know So people come and they're like I want to buy my thing and it's like well then you got to find you got to find some you got a Fine artistic guy. That's gotta be like making clips. Yeah, you got to we're not giving it to you

You gotta find a dealership Yeah, we have a website and then you click buy and it's like there's nothing there I don't want to come down to be a thing that you can just go get I want it to be like she he come town Mm-hmm, you know, wait, what's it's Jerry? Oh, yo, you know what if they buy if we if we sell it Okay, I like this idea. Yeah, we have to sell them We have to sell dealership like rights naming rights and then it can be blanks come town Yeah Well, we sell the show to those guys who sell it for whatever they want right and the dealers, you know

They add dealer options, right? Like so they can like people can get the podcast with Adam edited out So we saw the raw files, that's good I like that as the manufacturer and then you can do whatever you can mod it any way you want Yeah, you could that's not a bad idea. I gotta go to the mall You got to go to like a specific come town dealership to get like your own yes You can have it edited. I'll provide a supplementary file where I'm only doing like different races Right, you can get the entire episode every episode you can have But then you would say to yourself what if it's the regular one, but then he goes into Indian

But you have Indian you have Indian Right as the regular you have the regular but you already but then so it's the Indian version of the regular episode But in the regular episode it switches to Indian. Well, how well? How would I know that here's where is it? Because then Indian become Then Indian become a different one. Oh, it doesn't go back to normal. It's it becomes Chinese You find like if you look at color chart yellow plus fucking blue exactly so a regular plus Brown is So you take brown the other side is purple and I guess that would be what like a fucking like a Vietnamese woman's pussy

So like just Yeah, I think that's about right I think a time woman's pussy, I would say time I don't think that's right I think you got the flapping down. Yeah, just somebody with like what beats pill in the train They're like, what is that coming from? It's it's Thai pussy come down Yeah, I got it the dealership. I got I got it and you like it. Yeah, it's a dealer option I got it from newbie in finance. Yeah, I got it. I got it down in newbie in newbie in Newbien's come down

5 Chicago style come down shots after that guy. He doesn't make some good They pop up when I was using YouTube to do my show his shit would pop up. Mm-hmm seems to do a good job Well, that's what I mean Just fucking just give the raw files to that guy. Well, they can still do the clips if we just have the whole episodes Well, they can do whatever they want with it. They just get the raw files and then We take the metrics from like the aggregate you pick the top five ten people to distribute the thing or that the clip could do Whatever because they already have because we don't want is when people like, you know, the less if we did our own channel

We're already diluting It's already people that I mean we I think we just have to I mean why even do the video for not gonna do our own channel Because if you get the aggregate numbers, you can still sell ads based on those numbers. I Don't know if you don't control. I think it's hard to sell ads on something you don't control I mean from whoever we talked to what I can do it Okay, man, I'm forgetting. I think if you went to a company, we're like, hey There's five guys. We don't know that run a YouTube channel that also they look it's like well How do we how do they even know the the ads gonna be the channels gonna be there? Don't worry about I'll take care of all that

Okay, that's fine I think it's a stupid idea. I God bless those guys, but I think it's a novel idea And you know what who gives a shit about it's all about finding something new and that's true And new way to do business, you know, that's yeah, you stay fresh. You know who do that? JP Morgan Chase JP Morgan JP Morgan is always doing that stuff. He's like, what if we had a bank that was also an orphanage? Yeah, you put the fucking little little kids to work put the kids to work putting their little making their little fingers and Making rules of pennies put them to bed

old style Well, that's them Nick I arched his eyebrows in a way that says old style means molest them I was thinking about that that ventrilo harassment video. It's still one of the funniest collections of Yeah, you do the fucking that guy that was like hack ventrilo servers What's that? It's not a ventriloquist thing ventrilo was like a precursor to discord basically It was like a chat server that you could like if you play games online, they didn't have their own like oh, I see native That's a good name. Yeah Ventrilo stop having a sex with your puppet. There's some guy that went into one with like a Duke Nukem soundboard

Oh, yes, I know that I know exactly the way guys like there's like somebody's mom. Yes. Yes. That's a classic, of course pointer We're gonna get you bent Have you bent from the server? I've got balls of steel. What'd they say? And you've got you're allowed to come to just fucking impotent woman. I've got balls of steel. Who is that? I'm gonna kill you old style Balls of steel balls of steel. I've got balls of steel It is funny because that woman had no idea what she was getting into

Are you gonna stay here? You're gonna leave I've got balls of steel Okay, that's nice balls of steel steel steel steel Steel balls of steel. It has to be somebody from the guild or somebody that we know I hope not because I don't think your mother's very happy about it I want every person written name written down who's on the guilt right? I've got balls of steel And so I've got balls of steel I mean that woman has just never been shoulder now life. She doesn't understand what's going on

Well, this is from the golden age man back when people weren't ready for it didn't know how to handle their shit online and Ironically those people won because now the internet is like if you come online with that attitude Like they give you a TV show Everyone's hurting my feelings You should see this guy's one of the biggest facts we've ever seen Everybody loves him I really love how much of a fucking loser this guy

I've got balls of steel. I've got balls of steel my dick can't get hard my dick sucks I've got a little dick my dick small and it doesn't work Fuck damn. I love being out here in the fucking country. Yeah, we should I wish there was is there there's a mountain nearby, right? There's a hike we can get do. Yeah, we didn't do shit yesterday Yeah, I would like to do we should probably you want to go like Adams probably not even gonna be up by the time this is done We should go get some mom like bacon or something for breakfast. Yeah, I'm down Yeah, take a little little trip to the grocery store. I would also like some this coffee's not bad

But I want some like some better coffee. No, I just like milk or something to put Uh-huh. It's like I'm getting tired creamer getting tired of drinking black coffee. I've got balls of steel I've got balls in my ass. I've got a man's balls in my ass. I've got dick in my mouth It's me dick suck them Dick suck on your pants. Let me see see your penis. I've want to suck your dick I'm here to suck dick and chew bubblegum And all the bubblegums in my ass and all the bubblegum is actually more dick And when I said bubblegum, I meant penis. I'm here to suck dick and eat ass and get fucked in my mouth

And then my ass after that I'm here to I'm here to get bent over and fucked until I'm out of room in my ass I mean you gotta fuck my mouth and I drink all the common throw it up all over your dick to lube you up So you can fuck me in the ass again and eat bubblegum Ridge wallet. Oh my god. What I love Ridge wallet I love my Ridge wallet, but it might be time for I'm okay. I kind of want to I'm gonna hit them up and get another Getting you one something fresh for the season. Yeah, just the other one I have is fine, but you can have it. Actually I'm not a Ridge wallet. I

I love It's you know what I I don't need what I was gonna say Nick is I don't need it because I already have one It sucks because it's like, you know, you do these reads we have to lie about the product Like I will say that I like instantly because I did I I did Like real-ass podcast or whatever and Lewis had it. Yes, and this is all that was like the fidget spinner era Of course before he became a professional fighting. Yeah And so he's like check this out. I'm like come just come on. Whatever you like is probably gay Lewis Yeah, it's gay. Don't just stop and it happened to not be for once dude

I well cuz they you know like I mean they sent us them and then I just started because my wallet was fucked up So my plan was to just use the Ridge wallet until you bought it until I went back and use it I could go get a regular nice leather wallet. Yeah, and And and it's been it's now. I will say the regular wallets are fucking impractical. Who gives a fuck You don't need all that shit. You just need something for a couple cards and IDs Yeah, cuz it wasn't the first you mean you first see the Ridge wallet You're like, well, we're not gonna put all my shit like I have yeah, I have six years worth of receipts Like all this bullshit that you don't fucking need and then the Ridge wall makes you pare down your stuff to so my

There's like a whole subreddit called like daily carry people like check out my my loadout or whatever and they'll have like They always put their shit out on like You know, there's like those like kind of soft rubber grids that use with an exacto knife or yeah, I've seen those Yes, it's like well they act like it's a fucking drug bust. Yeah when they just have like yeah They have all their shit laid out to go like work in a call center doing technical Yeah, the best is like half of them are good have guns It's like a gun or rich wallet a compass right right right must ash. What are you preparing for be honest with yourselves? Well, I don't want to see you see I don't like your Ridge wall because I have the one that's a phone case

That's my shit. Yeah, I like though. I just like carrying one thing. I want a phone case I want to put my ID. I love the name fucking love the naked phone See, I'm I like the foot. I like the Ridge wall phone case. I don't like the naked phone cuz I'll fuck it up I will fuck it up, too I finally I've never broken a phone ever and Well, I had the iPhone 10 and I finally broke it, but I was like I would throw that thing across the room all the time Yeah, you know come home and I'd like you know take off that I cut off all my clothes with a pair of scissors Right, right throw my well. I never really learned how to

undress myself Do anything in life? Um Yep, you come home you cut off all your clothes you get mad You your boyfriend hasn't texted you and you throw the phone against the wall, which is what you do every day But the what's more importantly is that what you wouldn't it doesn't matter how hard you throw it the Ridge wall It will never break. Yeah And and it's good. Yeah, they don't break there. It's it's very why the fuck can't I ever find a fucking copy? Literally every episode

Fucking taste that big screenshot and put it in your favorites. Oh Well, you know, I have them all in like a Google Drive Mm-hmm, like I have all the copy in a folder on Google Drive Yes, when I open Google Drive on my phone, it's like, oh, here's a bunch of bullshit. You don't want right do recents I do do recents, but then it's like so recent and it's it's because I also I use Google Drive for everything Right, so it's all of my like accounting shit. Mm-hmm. It's fucking like. Yeah, you know line one a hundred thousand extra small condoms Yeah, line expenditure line to you Oh, I have to go to start a subscription to get started and then I go to podcast

and then for what $400,000 in here either Expenditure three. Yeah, so they go to Google Drive you go to start cuz I guess the app one has starred and then the fucking desktop one Expenditure for a tiny dress for a little woman. Yeah I For my my three-foot wife. No, you wear it. No, it's a little woman's size because you like being exposed mostly I like being a dress a dress Yeah, you feel sexual to you

Add to start perfect. There we go. I just did it Start library of copy. Wow. Yeah, we did it. What the fuck is like the shortcuts app on iOS I don't know like I love every like every like a couple iterations of whatever software they'll like roll out I have some new feature that's some dickhead like gill from the Simpsons. Yeah at Apple was probably like this is gonna be It's gonna change everything. This is gonna be the thing that everybody wants to use the shortcuts app Look, all you have to do is is you learn how to create iOS specific macros. It's basically you just re It's just you're fucking the bat your phone Mm-hmm again. It's just they're grouped in the same exact little boxes. You already fucking group them in

It's fucking a stupid if you ask me, it's gay Let me do a sort of cut for me to look at a pussy. It's gay and it makes me pissed off I want to do a sort of cut I hit to the bottom. I look at the titties Now that's a shortcut. I said that I'm looking at I'm looking at the shortcut options. It's like, you know, I'm gonna start using How about you fucking cut to the ridge wallet ad copy very shortly? Oh, yeah, that's live read copy and it's Come on grab a mic you wake up grab a mic we just started You wake up too late dude Just grab a mic

Hello Hold on you gotta press the button Nick There you go. Hello. Hey Adam. Why don't you talk about your experience with Ridge Wallet the dreams you had where you just Were you sleeping extra long? What's that damn? He's just woke up. What you were sleeping extra long as you were dreaming of the Ridge wallet, weren't you? Oh, yeah, I was having great dreams about the Ridge wall Oh, yeah, I just want to get a picture if you look at nice dude. Do I look like shit right? Hit too many mango claws

Shit got wild over here in the cabin. We played guitar and saw mom was killed. I didn't I play with passion I play with fire. He's a he's a passionate competitive passion to competitive save here. I did it. I fucking did it You did it. Thank God. We've been looking for the Ridge wall copy for like four minutes. Oh Wait, so you're like 20 minutes in yeah, that's right You're in the second read right now We were doing you a favor, it's nice doing me a favor you could it's nice We're giving you the day off. You're not giving me the day off I'm giving you one whole episode off. Oh, it holds up to 12 cards plus room for cash

There's 30 colors in style and styles including carbon fiber. Oh, you know what? I'm gonna ask them to give me that burnt titanium. That's awesome. You should I have the carbon fiber one now, which makes me feel like a Like a little Honda. Mm-hmm. Do they have a fresh? I put my hand on my hip and I look over my shoulder and I have the Ridge wall hooked on my ass Yes, I go into what we're out here in the woods. I go into these country bars And I'm like, did anyone order a Honda? And people are like

We don't know whether to beat you up because you're regular gay right because you're autistic. Yeah, whatever you're doing bothers me so viscerally That I'm short circuiting. I'm having a meltdown because you're doing a game I want to fuck you up to two reasons. I do not understand what the Honda what the joke is doesn't make any fucking sense You're you are so deeply embarrassing as a human being That it is making me want to kill my own unborn son Don't threaten me with a good time did anyone Or what the hell are you talking about? Are you talking about is that mean weird? Oh, are you trying to have sex with me beep beep? I think he's talking about he's got a carbon fiber wallet, you know sort of looks like a Honda

I guess well, you know how the risers will be like carbon fiber hood on their car. It's a car modification, but it's not even specific to Even Japanese cars, I mean carbon fiber on anything. It's just a way to reduce the weight. Oh Oh, I got it. So Yeah, anyway, I think that's what he's doing, but I don't know I believe that's it and then he's pretending He's we got his ass stuck out like a homosexual would It's made with RFID blocking technology that protects you from digital pickpocketers That's the thing that it's been happening a lot more and more. Oh, I said any oil for my microchips I get digital pickpocketed constantly left and right. Yeah

Yeah, every time every time your girlfriend's like why the hell did somebody order gay porn on my computer? Pickpocketed these jesters a little British like a British child robot Yeah, that's good. Yeah a little street urchin robot. Oh beep beep govna beep beep little WD-44 Look quick there govna over there Quick get his pockets check for microchips and circuitry. We can eat We live off circuitry Use promo code come down for 10% off your order. That's right And you want to do it right the fuck now free worldwide shipping and returns going to Ridge wallet dot com slash

Come town. Mm-hmm and use code come town 10% off that sounds great There's something like just like a weird vibe on the show Yeah, it was pretty fun Kind of I don't know well We'll just finish this one up and we'll try and figure out what what changed, but we were really rolling there Yeah, tell me about it. It was like you were getting in a zone where you'd be able to just locked on the door You'd be able to explore something like the digital pit pocket, right?

And the idea of like taking it you're doing a joke with that and just kind of running with it fully rather than yeah Someone just saying oh, yeah, I got digital pickpocketed Just just repeating the word and expecting the word. So you're mad at me expecting the word itself I mean you do like a punitive thing where you could have woken me up But this is like an extension of a greater thing where you're mad you've been mad at me. No Honestly, I we thought it'd be fun. We thought it would be nice actually Oh to do the show that what you wake up, and then it's like hey, but guess what you know I wouldn't have been right. We're already done with we already know it wouldn't have been nice

And then you know I would listen and then we could go get breakfast and then we could do another one I wake I'm happy to have one just for us that we keep and we don't release and it's just for us We'll have one that's just right. We'll keep it in a little Special version of the podcast just the three of us and we're not and it's just you can take it home You can put it on your man to hang it up on the fridge You can press the book you can be like one of those cards a greeting card, and you open it It plays the full episode listen I went to Radio Shack, and I made a fake version of the mixer with even more buttons right and you can take home with you

And you can press all the buttons. There's a little car horn on there. You press it and it's like It's got a little steering wheel. It's like you're driving you took it. We brought you a fish or price mixer podcasting equipment My first studio Baby's first thing to fuck up. I Used to fucking do little radio shows. Are you actually upset? Yeah, I'm offended. Really? Yeah, and I blame you not Sovros. No, I know that sovros was like kind of like one of the collaborators before the Holocaust But you were definitely one of the Gestapo's talking about in this instance. No, honestly, I was like, let's just

Sovros was a Danish farmer. Oh, this is the whole Maybe if you want to go down remotely close to the holocaust, maybe if you want to Forcibly gave the Jews a day off work Without affecting their income in the slide, we're not allowed the Jews to sleep to sleep in and get an extra paycheck It's 10 30 a.m. If you said we have work at 10, I would have been up. I would have had an alarm. No We don't have work at 10. We have work whenever we feel like we have work whenever we feel like it Exactly. I understand and I you know me. I'm an early riser. I'm waking up I'm thinking about new business model dealership ideas. They would yeah, we talked about what are you making a dealership?

Don't worry. Just listen to the show. I'm not gonna listen to the show. I never listened to the show Adam yeah spit in our face when we did something. No, I'm not spitting in your face now I'm the bad guy. You are the bad guy. We did a fucking nice thing for you and I say it wasn't It was not honestly if I had woken up and you guys had done the show, you know happy I'd be I would have been like it. This is the best day of my life. Maybe tomorrow. I'll do that Oh, you both will be sleeping. I'll wake up at five people will love that episode. What people what do you mean people? It won't happen. The Jews don't have waking up early. Okay. Now you're bringing up Jews because they don't have now you're bringing That's true. They don't have they never they never they never train themselves. They're never trying to meet Santa Claus

You know, that's the you know, that's one of the biggest problems in my life. Judeo Christian. Did you day? Everyone was God that way early for presents the go I am have waking up early built into them because they're always trying to meet Santa That's right. You're always trying to catch Santa this man that brings good fortune overnight. No, we wake up 930. You're one. You ever wonder why the financial markets don't open till 9 a.m. Why is that 930 930 which is fucking Obscene 3 to 4. It is crazy. It should open it like the boy. Why? Because people trade on the West Coast. You idiot. Guess which kind of fucking moron sleepy group. Yeah. All right Owns the markets and like maybe we'll wake up at eight forty stock brokers on the West Coast have to start at six thirty Once again, we're playing a round of real answer joke answer. No, it's not real answer.

So we found ourselves When it comes to the oldest oh, oh, it's not because Jews on Is like a sleepy juice on the market. It's not because of a stereotype. I just pulled out of my ass to justify Doing a podcast The sleepy Jew is one of the oldest. No, it's anti-semitical Sleepy is not even one of them. It's so tired It's too many days They call me the eight day laborer

Eight days laborer That's something there. Yeah, eight crazy day laborers and laborers and nights nights. Yeah Mm-hmm But basically Adam this was kind of like Christmas where you wake up and you're wearing my socks Those are my socks. You're out of your fucking mind. I bought these on amazon like two years ago. They came almost from my drawer You're fucking you Waking up looking at the markets demanding everyone stole things from it. I did look at the markets. Of course you did How'd you do? I'm doing okay today. Yeah, everything's up. It was a rough Friday

But yeah, there's a vaccine announcement. So everyone's doing all right respect I don't trust the markets vaccine. I only buy land. That's why I'm I'm I'm counting on greek town More marillons to shoot up in value dude. You're yeah, you're that's the other idea I'm gonna just crowdsource opinions on all of our ideas. Okay, and by that I mean only if you know what you're talking about right, okay, but Were you here yesterday Adam when we were discussing? Yeah, what's that the bus? Yeah, get a bus I've been here the whole time except for this morning when I was sleeping Because I drank too many mango white claws last night. I mean an extra little shut eye

You buy an empty lot in brooklyn and then you park the bus on and you retrofit the bus to be a podcast Then we can go on the road. Mm-hmm. Take the bus, but also just use it as an in town studio Yeah, I don't really have my and now you're saying that and our competitors are going to beat us to it What can louis is going to listen to this and he's going to get no We're gonna get a fleet of buses louis louis's move is always moving the direction of pretend radio station. That's true You know, you want to make a serious xm? Where we're going john madden. Yeah, that's the country getting pushed. I'm a big fan of that Well, what a pussy? I got a podcasting studio and what do you got it?

What is nuts? It's too hard. It's not that's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah I don't think we need a whole bus. I think we need a van now van's too small No, we need a bus dude. Why do we need a bus? The gas will be expensive Only when we're on the road. I mean, it's like a marginal difference in terms of expenses I guess also. It's a nice domestic touring is a much nicer alternative to flying Do you see yourself as as the driver? Do you see us hiring a coach driver? I would hire a driver. I don't know because I think you have to hire a driver It also has to be the the dealer and to get the groupies if you retrofit

Um, do you need a uh, you need a cdl if you're driving something that has the capacity to Carry more than 16 people. We retrofit it. It's just a studio and it's basically like a motorhome Hmm, then you might not need the cdl. Well, that's why I'm also saying we should get a van because that's easier to drive I could drive a bus Yeah, but if we have a van I'm just saying we're not going to sleep in the motherfucker. Well, you want to get like an economy, huh? We could I guess. Yeah, I want to get like an economy. You go to grand teetons What's that? I see a economy. That would be cramped. They're shitty. I mean, you have to get at the very least

You have to get a sprinter or like one of those or like a little school bus and retrofit I like that sprinters would be nice. And then the studio is just sideways in the thing. It's all studio You know what I'm saying? No, you do one like Trust me. There's a way to build it out. You got a lot of room in a bus. Okay Okay, would the equipment run off the battery? Well, you got you got like a width of like at the very least Internally like seven eight feet. That's true. What does the equipment run off of? It's it's uh, there's like a generator on the box. Yeah, we have a generator. That's right But we have to but we have to run the bus every time. Yeah, why not?

I don't know. Oh when the bus is parked. Yeah, there's probably a way to hook like, you know, I don't know Fucking electricity up to the bus because the bus has shit that you know, you would just set all that up Okay, all right. I'm asking the questions. Yeah, I'm asking the questions. We need answers I mean, we don't have to get a loan anyways to do all this shit So it's like I figure roll that into the cost is getting like The electricity hooked up to the thing also like some kind of like Hard-wired data connection when it's just parked there. Yeah Now it's starting to seem like there's a lot of parts

And we can sleep in walmart parking lots because those are open 24 hours a day Maybe we just buy a van and drive around in it It's you the problem is is that there's an idea and the idea is ambitious Right and you want to dial it back so far that it just becomes a bad idea. Yeah, there's a van sucks I know I don't want to buy a van. I don't want to fuck a van to tour in Or or win a bagel rent a van whenever you want to go on. Well, then maybe that's what we should do I don't point having a van still. That sounds like it sucks No, we need a big big fucking bus. Yeah, we'd stop off at ymcs take showers

Yep, meet the fellas around the shower. There's a shower in the bus They have a shower in the in the bus. Yeah, we'll get we'll get it all set up So then it would that would run off of gray water, right? What's gray water? It's what in our v's and campers with a it's like water you can't drink but you could shower with What you shit inside of an omega bus Or is that just a vat? Uh, no, I think that's just

That's yeah, I want to make you isn't it. Yeah, I don't know one thing I keep forgetting to do I want to make sure people go buy my calendars Oh, yeah for Christmas. These are out now by the time this comes out You guys will have the stoppy dot biz the 2021 stoppy baby calendar is out there Go buy it right now. If you get it right now, you'll probably get it before Christmas or so I don't know what day this coming out, but whatever just Today Yeah, come a calm dot town also go get some t-shirts shirts. You're closing. We got your stocking stuffers

Figured out folks calendars and shirts. We're closing in on the final Uh, the final couple days here to uh, because this comes out December 2nd To, uh, oh nice. Yeah. You buy shit before the holiday exactly Calm dot town. If you get it now, you'll be able to have it for the holiday and uh, and that'll probably that's it That's it. That's the show. See you later folks