The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 244 – Does Woah

Episode Date: January 27, 2021

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here. Okay, now we're started. Okay. And I just got it, I get a check to make sure that just send me that link and I'll print it. The printer is right next to stop. I'm not getting it. It's wireless. Yeah, he's not. I don't give that's not part of my job. It'll be because you want to watch me walk across the room. I am in this outfit that you made me wear before you recorded. I do. I do want the one outfit that you want to wear a Canadian Mountie body paint to make the boys jealous. Nice. Make sure it works. Make sure that this is recording the Mr. USB. Let me see if this does if it still plays. I don't know if it's coming in. It's coming through the headphones. Cool. All right. Then

I don't have to worry about it because I was recording. I guess the phone does like both channels here. Nice. Instead of interesting, interesting. Welcome to come town folks. The new come town. Yep, which is now a gardening. Oh, yeah, we're going to grow shallots. We should pick the most boring. Gardening is not boring. Yeah, no, yeah, we're getting not gardening. What's the what are the magazines that are just like shit for your patio? This is like housewives in the 80s. It'd be like I need more wicker shit. I'm going to read a magazine. Yeah, I'm gonna sit in my fucking like and we're about different. My wooden ass kitchen. I would like to. I would like a magazine like that. Yeah, I've gotten into

some in tech interior decorating soft focus patio shit magazine. Yeah, I don't have a patio just creamy, creamy ass patio, patio furniture, creamy. Yeah, just real like they just I don't really fuck with the wicker stuff, honestly. No, I'm talking about the photography. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's Vaseline over the lenses. Yeah, yeah, real real soft the same way they shoot Barbara Walters old ass. The way Yeah, the way even though what she was used to be shot back in that is true. When you go in, that was a great way to go in some guys garage and he just had like creamy soft focus some bitch with the curly like a perm and those like back when they're not quite cone titties because cone titties were

out back when they Yeah, back when they were like, you know, sometimes an Asian bitch can have big tits. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The beginning of that. There was a lot of that and we're growing up and going to like my dad and his friends like shops. That's very it's very garage. Totally. Yeah, very garage. You just saw a naked bitch. So what you're supposed to be hard while you're fucking Yeah, making a fucking cabinet. Your dick is hard. It's getting your dick stuck in a carburetor. Yeah, sorry. No, I was supposed to be done today but I got put a porno all over the walls and I kept nothing. So it's going to be a couple more days and we're going to have to charge you for it. Yeah, I think I've I think

I've mentioned this before but I got a bus thing surgery. I got a haircut from at a Dominican barbershop in Bushwick once and they had like a kitchen TV like moms would have in their kitchens like seven inches. Just playing just hardcore anal anal. Yeah, anal like at like an 1130 on a Tuesday. I sent it to you in Doc X format. Thanks, Nick. Wow, you motherfuckers have Microsoft? No, I don't know. The copy was sent to me in Microsoft format. Everybody that works for anybody that has any kind of like middleman media job, they'll use doc use thinkpads because they're all novos. Yeah, their whole world is held up by the myth of PowerPoints and Excel spreadsheets being necessary for anything. But I feel like I feel like

we're past as Google Docs really came through and put they dick all up in Microsoft. We're soon going to be living in a post that made me really happy. Honestly, the world, you know, where there's no more data. So what do you mean? There's not going to be people who are going to go on touch. Just feel the motion. Yeah, that sounds sensual. Yeah, I like it. That's the kind of world I'm built for. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sitting on a wicker chair getting my dick absolutely fucking blasted. Your printer smells fucking bad, Adam. That's my ass. No, it's the printer. Would stop us sitting between you and the printer. First of all, bitch, why would I was joking? I can say it's my ass. You can you just had a you

just had a sort of bigger is you had a bigger electric bicycle. Okay, and I wasn't gonna say anything. Yeah, I did because I'm sweaty. So I think I'm sweaty on your electric bicycle. It's 15 degrees out. Yeah, shirtless. That's how much fucking energy I was. I told you I'm not getting and you know what now with your fucking attitude about my bike ride. I'm absolutely wasn't an attitude. And can I just say something soft? Can I just say I ripped you know what you know what the printer does smell bad. Why does it keep printing? Is it multiple pages? I thought it was your printer. It's your printer. Maybe you were printing something before and yeah, man. Yeah, I can't. Left in the queue. Just so many fucking black

and white pictures of a man's penis. What the fuck are you printing out? What is that? You fucking retard. What did you print out? He printed out the actual email. Oh, oh, damn. You want to burn that? What is that? How are you ever a paralegal? Yeah, dude, wasn't the isn't the whole job like printing stuff and being like right away. Mr. Jewish. Right away. Mr. Jewish. Coinstein, I'll have this printed up for you ASAP. In my experience, being a paralegal was taking two hour lunches at the at the White Marsh chilies. That was a big part of my I would like to be a paralegal. And my job is to watch movies all day. That would be awesome. Yeah, it's fine. I guess they're just never going to open movie theaters

again in New York. I'm going to kill myself if that's the case. It's funny because it's like we had phases at one point. Yeah, whole phase thing. And now they're like, we're going to do what makes my day car. I like the idea of everybody at home having gay sex. If we were at home watching videos of me taking it raw. No one would miss the video movies. We wouldn't have to go to the movie place only go to the movies to watch me get my ass fucked. I painted my butt cheeks to look like Spider Man's face. And now he's sucking a cock upside down in the rain. It's the same as going to the movies. I'm not going to talk bad about the governor anymore. Why did you worry about getting whacked? Yeah, dude. Honestly,

it's going to be funny. Try me, Andy. I got the fucking blicky on me right now. Be careful. Stop. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want anything to happen. There is a chance. I mean, I feel like the governor is spiteful enough. His word got back. It's a political machine state. That's family runs. His family runs this state. It could very easily get back to the governor and he's like, I want these people killed. No, he could say that we're doing BDS against Israel and then which we are thrown in jail. By the way, and I don't know what it stands for, but against Israel. That's what I like to hear. Yeah, it's bond. By the way, did you see that they for some reason, so for some curious reason are not

allowing Ugandan Jews into Israel? What are you talking about? And that's from you. They really did that crazy. They would also forcefully sterilize them when they entered. No, no, they they got the Ugandan Jews or no, no, the Ethiopian Jews in like the 80s. I thought now there's a whole black ass type of Jew. African Jewish African migrants that come to Israel are forcibly sterilized. Yeah, they try to do. They try to do it. Israel apologists will tell you that that's a lie. Right. And it's not. Why is it called an apologize? Apologists, because they never apologize. They never apologize for they excessively apologize. That's how they get away with everything. No, they never say I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just going to

do is let me just sneak by. Just get a skinch of Holocaust. I need a dollop of the Holocaust. I just like a scooch of genocide. You don't mind. I'm sorry. Right out of your way. It's going to be two seconds. Just give me we're going to I'm going to fire a little missile into this preschool and I will be right out of your head. We're just going to do a smidge of rape. Just a smidge. We're going to do you want good movies, don't you? I just get I'm going to eat a little smidge of rape doesn't make movies, though. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. What? Oh, they make all the movies. Is that one Israeli filmmaker didn't didn't Harvey Weinstein hired the Mossad. Yeah, but that's not necessary to make movies. Here's

the thing. They made all of hip-hop. Harvey Weinstein was your cone when Harvey Weinstein was making good movies. He didn't need Israel to track down those women because we were so entertained by the man we would allow him. Wow. Wow, Nick. Well, in my opinion, he never made good movies and I never liked him even before I knew he was canceled. So it seems like you were a fan of him. Now, why did you get that much credit for making the movie? He didn't make shit. Can I have the I suppose I suppose I will. Well, that's like saying that that there's only one thing here. There's only one read. It's a one pager. It's a one page. Oh, you're buying way too thick paper. I know, dude. I'll get a thinner paper next

time. I don't think it's that thick. I try to do a nice nice. No, it is nice, but you're wasting money. No, I know who's fucking from Israel now. Yeah, I know. You know what I'm saying? I'm real Israel style toilet paper at his house. You should see it. This is coming out of the production. No, it's not. That's right. I bought that privately and I'm not invoicing Adam's share of the Patreon money. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But he makes his money back working as a secretary. That's true time with free supply. I don't like the dress code aspect of the secretary to have sex for Terry. Yep. Once again, you've got my ass. My ass. My ass has been caught. My fellow Americans. My ass has been my ass has

been fucked by the Mujahideen have gotten my at not at zero nine hundred hours this morning. The Mujahideen released a video calling me gay. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. But let me just go back to the earlier point at him and say I need an apology from the comments about my bike ride. I apologize. Thank you. No, and I saw the amount of exertion. You're gonna have to do some more printing here also. You're on three copies. Well, we're gonna need. No, now you're gonna have to find the other emails. I forward you. You're gonna have those emails and you're gonna type up a little a little sheet, a little sheet for us with the name of the website. Oh, yeah, I got that because we're gonna we need the promo code and we

need the highlighted the promo code. The thing is that you have to type in the URL. I don't think they have a way to put a promo code in. Interesting. It's a landing page. And then I will also forward you or I probably already did the copy that was originally presented to us. No, it was a taste. The copy is not in this email. With no lip. Gaff motley or a dinkus. None of that. Any of that. Any of that 1940s attitude. None of that fucking classic Adam 90. Bullshit. Yeah. Okay, so you want me to just just print out the name of the website for the main couldn't have been clear. Open up a document and we're going to you're going to make us the most beautiful copy we've ever seen. It's going

to say Super O G X a cratum company. It's the ice cream of the future. And it's over six billion served. And they're all in heaven right now. They're all heaven. They're all at such a good time that they're dead and they're in heaven. And there's not a single I tell you, it's I'm not I heard this. I don't know if it's true. It's all white people up there. I can't say it's true. But it's what I like to believe. And that's what going to church is about is believing. That is fucking true. It is true. Damn, a whole a whole week of Joe Biden is the fucking president, man. Dude, they're going to hide him away. It's gonna be so sad to say politics. Yeah, dude. Shouts out to have what is he what has he

done so far? I don't know. I signed some executive orders and that's the politics. Do what? Um, I think nothing's changed over here. I think you may when a podcaster is going to move to the front of the vaccine line. That's what I want to know. I think you made a this is 100% true and people should should know this. But apparently Russians were behind the vaccine. So Russian people were making it. And so we can't do it. If you're a liberal, you might want to think twice about that vaccine. Yep. In fact, the Russians made the mass also. Whoa. And the fuck I really there's a secret memo from Putin that went to Trump that said, boy, you know, it really steamed my beans. If if a bunch of liberals in America put guns

in their mouths and pulled the trigger, he would be pissed off. That would bother him. Yeah. So maybe try that size font. Do you want on this? Something respectable 1211111111 what a readable 12 is nice. 12 is the 12 area. I'll be honest with you. 12 feels a little handicapped to me. Yeah, but we're doing a read. We want a big. I can read fine print. 13 is too big. The smaller the font, the faster I read because it reminds you of your dick. That makes no sense. Well, you didn't answer the question. I'm well, there's no the question doesn't make any sense. Oh, wow. Do you hear this, Adam? What? It reminds me. He reads faster. It reminds me when it's smaller because it reminds him of his dick

and he won't say and he won't say that's fine. Okay, fine. How fast my dick gets hard. Oh, no, no, that doesn't make sense. No, it makes what you just said doesn't make sense. What I said makes sense. It was a quality of fastness. No, because that no, no, no, because that the letters aren't fast, your ability to read is fast. The thing can't be fucking affected by the you know, your dick, the your dick speed, its size. We're talking about size, not quickness. Yeah, quickness is one of the variables. We're celebrating the anniversary of Christopher Reeves is passing. Oh, RIP. He fell off the horse, right? I think I don't know. He fell off the horse that was paralyzed then. Years later. Yeah,

dude, you don't remember that he was walking around or rolling around in the fucking chair passed away. Yeah, he looked like shit. He did look bad. Robin Williams and him went to fucking acting school together 16 years. They were boys. That's why they're such similar actors. The acting school curse. Yep. Well, one killed himself. One just got got by a fucking horse. If you're a man and you're in the horseback riding and that's kind of that's what it wasn't. It wasn't just horseback riding. It was playing polo. He had mallets. No, he was they were jumping over a fence and then the horse's legs got caught on the leg. I thought it was a pole. The horse was like, I'm the horse and this is jackass. This

is horse jackass. And this is this is paralyzed a beloved cultural figure. Yeah, speaking of, I saw a bam on Instagram said he's off all of the 25 prescriptions that he's been given and his skateboarding is back to normal again. Should we try and get him back on the pod? So I just wish him wishing the best to bam. Absolutely wish him the best. And let me just say, brother, open invite to get back on the podcast. This time, just us boys. No need for maybe good. No need for your family manager and gene. Yeah, gene. That was wild. There's just all these extra people that were there. And his wife. That was awesome. We should get Steve on to talk about Vinny because I guess he doesn't like Vinny. Oh, really?

So we want to get the Steve. Let's get Steve. We should get Steve and Vinny and try to broker a piece of course. Steve. Oh, if you're out there listening to this right now, I know you are. Yep. Either you come on the show or you've made yourself three or your enemies or die or die. He will staple your nuts to your penis. Not your, not your eye in real life. Actually, what do you mean? Yeah. I'm too. So me and me and Brandon Wardell and Adam two inches. Adam Freeland Museum me and Brandon Wardell and Jamel. We're walking down the street on sunset in LA and he a gentleman flipped over a bike and then we and then cameras popped out and it was Steve O trying to film a new pranks video and he was wearing a bike

spandex and then he had his penis out. That's awesome. Yeah. It was pretty. How big is his cock? I'm not sure if it was. I mean, it was that he his penis was painted the color of his like spandex. So I'm not sure if maybe it was a fake penis, but I'm pretty sure it was his real penis. It was like the Pocahontas. So yeah, like the Pocahontas exact colors of the way. But you have a once your penis is exposed in the air, though, I've seen you do before you close your eyes and you can smell exactly how big a cock is true. Some people say it's a blessing because of how gay you I say it's a curse. He uses echo location. He's clicking noises to figure out where exactly. Now, Adam, we're coming up

on the 20 minute mark here. Okay, I still haven't done your your little printing and typing. You're really fucking up. Oh, no, no, no, no, right away. Listen, I'm trying to because you know we've we vowed never to go in a minute over an hour anymore. So we have to hit our 20 minute mark. We're going to start shaving. I'm sorry. Don't let people put on the secret. All right, Nick, tell me what that looks like the time the typing that I did. All right. And then you've typed up all the all the points. No, I just I just had him if this doesn't say Nick is gay, you're not funny. Oh, God, if you if you did your job for real, I thought you said you oh my God, I thought you said you wanted you didn't

print a picture of a dick. You didn't say fuck you, Nick, you printed yourself. That's what you would have done to be funny. Yeah, just awful. Oh, what do you mean? That's just awful. That is just awful. I was a secretary for years. I don't really completely unprofessional. It's unprofessional. It's not formatted nicely. Even if you were trying to do a good job, you did a bad job. You did a bad job. Do a funny job. You didn't do it. Yeah, exactly. The only two modes that are acceptable in office. They lost sex sexual. You should have tried to get Nick to say the n word by printing it in there secretly. Mm hmm. Or something. All right, I guess I was back to the drawing board here. Time to forward you more emails.

Okay, right away. Skip. What do you mean? I was calling you skip. Oh, right, my nickname. Yeah, which means captain. Yeah, I mean, who came up with that skipper? Because it does like that was a gamble. Imagine being the Nate because it has to go back to the 1800s where if you insulted the captain, they would just like you and I yeah, you'd be putting a block of ice and left there really was so much more decentralized total power in like the 1800s. Like so many like barely powerful people could have you killed so easily. Yeah. Whereas now it's I would say it's a little harder. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like your boss can't rape you. Well, I guess that's the thing we really take for granted. Your boss can't

rape you. That's true. I mean, for real, women have no idea how good they could or kill you or suck your dick against your will which is also rape, I suppose. All right, super. I think men were getting raped at a good clip back in the day as well. Okay, not as much. All right. Okay, but that's the thing when women weren't in the workforce, somebody was getting raped. So it's probably weaker men. That's true. Yeah, they saved us weaker men. The jail system. All right. Okay, Adam, I sent you this one. Once you get all this copy typed up, we'll be able to actually start doing the episode. Okay, we're not. But now I've been distracted professionally, right? I can't get into the printing right up the

clown zone. No, you better take that email and put the bullets in a new document in a new document with the right URL at the top so I can see it. And oh, now he's going to try and do the joke. If you do a joke now it's now I would be textbook at him the moment has passed. And it's going to be if you were a clown, I wouldn't hire you for a three year old. Three year old. You'd fuck up the keys move. I'm getting a spam risk from Franklin ville. Let's plug it in. Let's hear what they say. Spam risk. Let's put them on the phone. Hit the hit the oh, the hello. Thanks. You're on the air. Hello. We've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicles extended warranty. Oh, the one that I had gay sex in

that we've not gotten a response. Of course. What's your name, Eric? Hey, Eric, how about you suck my fucking dick, pal? Well, yeah, we're just guys. We're grossing this guy. This guy is getting destroyed. What was that, Eric? Who's that? Can we speak to a representative? Can we speak to a guy with a bigger dick than you? Can we have sex with your wife? Maybe. Yeah, that's what I thought, bitch. Never fucking call here again. Okay. Well, that was that was a good one, dude. Yeah. We're getting in there. We're taking it. We're taking it back to the to the. What did you call it? The taking the power back to the people? Yes. Yeah, from the spam callers. Yeah, absolutely. If you're listening and you recognize that

man's voice and you want to send his personal information. Yep. To any of us will go ahead and we'll not look into it. And okay, it's one of my favorite photographs. You printed a picture of Nick. Me and me and Soder and C. J. Nick looks short. Nick looks short. Once again, though, the opportunity to do this was that was the first you should have done it the first time. And now I'm going to print a picture of Adam printing. Don't print. I'm going to be struggling to bench press. No, don't print that picture. Adam struggling to promise 45 pounds. No, it wasn't 45. It's a 45 pound bar and he was having trouble. No, I was just doing that for the form. Just trouble rewracking. No, I was

having trouble. I was doing that for the form. I don't think so, mate. Okay. All right. That should be the bullet points coming up. Well, I'll tell you what, while you're waiting for the other read to be read, maybe you can enjoy blue shoe.com. No, no, sorry. I meant, I'm having trouble with the printers. Get it again. Well, tell you what, if you like sex, you'll love blue shoe.com. Oh, yeah. Blue shoe.com offers men and performance enhancement for the bedroom. Mm hmm. Blue shoe.com. You get the first chewables with the active ingredients to dead. So then it's a dollar fill. There you go. And you know, why did they make those so hard to pronounce? Yeah, I don't know. They should have called them Dick Hardium.

That's because these are fake scientists. Yeah, they came up with the dick pills and they're like, they're feeling bad about themselves. So they have to give their medicine like complicated names. Yeah. So they can feel cooler than I I say Dick Hardium and cox stiff neon neon. Mm hmm. That's what I would name them. Chewables can work faster than the others because you can chew them up. Yeah. Chewables from blue shoe can be taken on a full or empty stomach. Come or food, you can eat come or food. Are you printing that, Adam? What's going on with the printing? I don't know. It's it's the there's a network issue. What the fuck? Oh, there it is. Yeah, yeah, that should be it. It's going to be the same joke over and over

and no, it's not. That should be it. We'll see. That should be the bullet points and you printed it sideways. I'm not I don't know how landscape style. I just wanted to get all the information. What is this? I look like I'm at a man like I'm at a menu restaurant. Yeah, some kind of menu. I look like what I'm Johnny McDonald's over here. Let me get the Bijon free. That's right. Let me have the Beijing McDonald's. Let me have the roasted the roasted quail quagon gin. And then I think we'll have some of the soy sauce. I look like a frickin clown. Yeah, I look like an idiot. I didn't mean to humiliate you. You honestly do. And you know what? The people can feel it. They know what they know. I'm

humiliated. Yeah. And they're they're feeling bad for me because everyone listens to the show they identify with. Yeah, I'm the most relatable one. I'm the every man. You know, uh, anyways, blue chew blue chew is one of it's a wonderful drug. If you have a fucked up penis for multiple reasons, some you could be very fat. That's me. You could be secretly gay. That's Nick. You could be have incredibly low testosterone. That's me. That's Adam. The only reason to be gay is because it's a secret. Yeah. Yeah, that's the fun. That's the appeal to me. The secret part. All these damn queers. That's why I'm that's why I'm against LGBT stuff because if you take away being secretly gay, there's a hole. Gays used

to be spies. The thrill dude. They used to be. They used to be like James Bond, James Cronk, Spence, and they used to have very good art, Richard Simmons. You know, now we have fucking with Gary glitter. What the fuck his name is? I don't think glitter was a pet of fire. It only takes a few minutes. Glitter guy. Randy glitter. Randy. Randy rainbow. Chewables from blue chew.com can be taken on a full or empty. That's right. That's right. You know, it takes a few minutes to connect to the blue chew.com affiliated physician and if you qualify, you get prescribed online quickly. No in-person doctor visit, no awkward conversation, no waiting in line at the pharmacy. It ships directly to your door in discreet

packaging. Very discreet packaging. It's got swastikas all over. This guy's a Nazi, but his dick works fine. It's what it says. Literature. It's Mark Twain, but they put in more N words. The Adventures of Beepleberry. Double. It's not. It's the double. The Adventures of Beepleberry. By Mark S. Twain. Mark. The Adventures of Beepleberry. Yeah. It's in a book. It's in a book. Tom Sayer. Yeah. Tom and Sayer. Tom Sayer. And Beepleberry comes over and he's like, what you doing at that fast, Tom? What you be doing? He's like, I'm painting the N word on it. Why? I don't know. Some bitch told me to. She saw my dick if I painted this thing. I'm trying to get my dick sucked. I was like, well, why don't you paint the fast-sand motherfucker?

And then he did. And then Tom, when he got some pussy on the side, well, that bitch called himself the N word on the fence. That's awesome. That's a good book. Yeah. What also happens? They fake their death. I don't know. I'm just lying. I've never read that gay bullshit. You didn't read it in middle school? I tried to, but it was fucking boring. Well, I'll tell you what. Here's what's not boring. Getting your dick hard? The no in-person doctor visit. Doing the video conference. Which Adam, you have some experience with. Zooming into the meeting at bluetooth.com to get your dick pills and getting confidence in bed every time. You and your partner will love it. You wouldn't do it. Here's a deal for you guys. We visit

bluetooth.com and get your first order free when you use promo code COMTOWN. Just pay $5 shipping. I take them like vitamins. I don't know if you're supposed to. I haven't had sex in months and I just take a dick pill every day to get my dick hard and to elevate my heart rate. That's another way. And because it tastes like candy. You know what? You could do that too, guys. Honestly, I did one time. I took a dick pill and I fucked. Sometimes the effects last a nice amount of time. I had a weird dream the next day about fucking an old lady. I woke up and in my dream I was pounding this old bitch. You got pussy in it. I literally woke up. I'm not even joking. Humping my bed. I was fucking. My dick was

like pushing into my bed and my dick was like pushed up under my stomach. It kind of hurt. I had a cool dream that I was in like a defensive driving class and everyone was calling me an idiot. And then you shot up the school. No. And then a bunch of people got trapped under ice and I had to swim under the ice and save them. And I was the only person that could do it. And your dick was hard from Blue Chew. But then half the people were dead in the dream. They were like, well, thanks for recovering the bodies at least. Well, you got half of them. Were you wearing scuba gear or were you just... I just went in. Damn, bro. They're like, if anyone else does it, they'll die. They'll die, but not you. No,

you have been talking about cold showers. Yeah, exactly. You've been talking about cold water swimming. Dude, I want to go to Brighton and do the... Let's go, dude. I got my wetsuit. All right. I need somebody to... Because if you... You can just die. I'm not interested in that, I have to say. If you do it wrong, if you just go in there and you don't like... I would probably die. Yeah, if you don't die from a polar bear plunge, bro. Well, if you just don't... I mean, if you jumped in the water, they'll probably fuck you up. Walking out there. Oh, you got to jump. Yeah. You got to jump. You just got to... You got to bring a shit ton of cigarettes so you can warm up after. Yep. Get your lungs fucking

a little hot in the inside. You got to take a big ass bone rip and then jump. Yeah, nothing makes me hotter than that. So use bluetooth.com promo code COMTOWN. Just pay $5 shipping. That's B-L-U-E-Q.com promo code COMTOWN. COMTOWN is spelled C. You got it, dude. Sounded out. Oh, I know that one from the candy. T-O-W-N. Oh, no, sorry. I should erase that part. I don't know what it's in the copy. That's the only one they tell you how to spell phonetically. Yeah, just calling up C as in... Nope. No, no, no. You wouldn't have to do this. Everyone can figure out where this bit is going. But if you're new to the show, I think you could probably also figure it out. If you... It would be funny if somebody started listening like

right now. They're like, this is jacked up. These guys are fucking fucked up. Twist it, if you will. Yeah. One of these guys is hot. He sounds awesome. I can tell. And he's got an awesome voice. But I want to suck his cock. It sounds physically overheated. No. And he sensed that he had to remove his clothes in 15 degrees. First of all, I'm wearing heat gear leggings, thank you very much. So I'm running hot from the bottom, so I'm letting a little steam off up top. Damn, leggings remind me of the woods. I wish we were still here. We're going to go back. The show is going to become a vacation show. We're going to go on four vacations a year and do all the episodes. They should give us... Look,

if guys grow... If diners drive-ins and dives can be on the air for now, I think at this point, 37 years. I'm pretty sure that's true. Then there's no reason that we can't have. I would love to have a travel log show. And they're like, we're here at McDonald's. Yeah. We're here at the pizza place right by the cabin that we got. We're at the McDonald's in Wilmington, Delaware. The only one where you're allowed to smoke inside. Sir, can you put that out, please? Shut up. After telling the bitch to shut up, we continued smoking. And eating some PBJs we brought from home. Eating peanut butter and ginous sandwiches. Oh yeah. That's yummy stuff. Adam, why the fuck isn't the URL on this copy? On the menus

that says... What are the URLs on the other page that are... One other page. The little one? The one that sucked? The one that fucking sucked, bro? What do we need, two pages? Look at this, dude. I'm trying to read this and it's... I'm sorry, dude. Nick, take a break. Take a breather, dude. I work too damn hard, bro. Yeah. To be reading a sideways asscape. Adam's mark twaining me into having to do more work than I want. I'm not mark twaining you. So fucked up. I just printed it in landscape. Hamburger style. You think my boy Sammy got pussy? The man who prints sideways is known to have a small dick. If that wasn't enough, he's also gay. Fuck. Mark Twain was not just very funny, but also very insightful. And

he had some great views on the Jewish people. Lincoln, it was said that Lincoln knew Adam and he thought he was a fact. It's Shelby Foot in the Civil War documentary. Yeah, shut up. What's that to our boy Shelby? A lot of people think Shelby is a gay name. It's a girl's name. He would often tease me about it and I would always say to them, actually it's Adam that's a girl's name. And they would say that's true. There are a lot of Adams that are not girls. Most of them. Yeah, Adam Sandler's cool. Who else? Adam West, Batman. Adam West is okay. Adam Driver. Adam Driver. Kylo Ren. I could take or leave Adam Driver. I don't mind him. I know it's cool to not like him or a lot of people. A lot of people

are like, he's ugly. Don't say he's cute. No, I think he's cute. I think you could get his. I think you could lay some pipe. I'm just saying you know, I want to rewatch Star Wars on mushrooms, man. It's very bad. If you know, take it back on mushrooms. I don't know. It's awesome on mushrooms. I've never seen anything you once without mushrooms. And by the way, the old ones not that good. Which ones? I don't know every watch them. They weren't that good. Everyone knows revenge of the set. The best one. Is that what people say? No. Which one is I know? I think it's like there's like, oh, I love the range of the sith in the movie theater. I think one is revenge of the city. I think it's part three. That's

the last one of those prequels. Oh yeah. I'm I'm due for getting fucked up and watching all of those movies and passing out 10 minutes into the first into the pot racing. You know what I want to do? I've never seen Lord of the Rings. I want to take mushrooms and watch Lord of the Rings. It's not good. I don't think I've tried it. I've tried a billion times to be like, you know what? I'm doing it. I'm getting a fucking bag of a pizzeria pretzel combos respect. I'm taking some pills family size. And yes. And then also muddy buddy checks. Oh, buddy, buddy. That is the good. She's got me happy doing a couple of lines of blow. Taking some cradling pills snorting ketamine and doing Percocet. Now

I'm ready to understand joy. Now you're at our film. Now I'm now I'm ready to be a guy that hasn't had a drink in eight years. I'm so proud of you for being sober to be right at up, down, up, up, down, down and up in middle being regular fucking really to take all that stuff and just be in the middle. Don't you feel like when you take mushrooms and you look in the mirror, you look like an elf. When I take when I've done ketamine in the past and I've looked in the mirror, I look like the ugliest person I've ever been. Yeah, because it's so sweet of my face. So sweet of a turn. I hate my face. So like just different discreet components. So it's I hate it. You're looking at it and it's just

like eyes and a nose and a mouth and shit. I'm like, this is one of the most you sort of like placed on your head. Yeah. Potato. It really hurts my feelings. Yeah, I can't look in the mirror. Maybe you sent us a really ugly picture this morning. You looked hideous. I know. I thought we were all sending ugly pictures. We were saying we looked good, but you look like I looked good. You look like you just like went through a difficult labor in that picture. Well, let me look like it's just I'm so happy to be a mom. I thought we were all sending each other pics from bed. A man looking down at this woman. Oh, yeah. Look how disgusting that I guess this bitch gave me a son. Yeah. Why are you guys never

be able to fuck this woman? I'm looking at it for this is just for us. This is you after a difficult they had to do a cesarean. But you did blow your pussy. I've been trying to get it out. It's blown out and then they had to push your back in the c-section. You really think my picture was ugly at him? No, I thought we were all sending each other bedroom photographs. I wasn't in bed. I was sitting at my table doing fucking up in the morning. I was sending emails working on some projects. I get up at seven a.m. every day. You're snoozing like a fucking bitch. Yeah. Looking bad looking dehydrated. How to print stuff out like an asshole wikipedia page. Listen, I'm in the middle. What's the most asshole way to print

stuff? You actually look nice. You know, your skin. Your skin looks really good. So something nice about me too. Thank you, Nick. I like that spit tool on your lip. It's coffee coffee. Yeah, my skin also looks a little bit old. Your skin does look good. My skin is pretty your right now. Thank you, Adam. You're welcome. I told you that my skin gets dried out when I don't use my dandruff shampoo enough. Is that so that I have something called dermatitis and the central column of my face guys out. Okay, you have spermatitis. I'm trying to do a medical fucking. Well, you know, absolutely cure dermatitis one hundred percent guaranteed by the FDF. Yeah, and we're allowed to make that claim legally. We don't know what that

is, but we know it's drinking calm. We'll do that. But something that can't cure anything, but is nice. Pretty cool. But it's very. Hold on. Yeah, see, this this is what you need to fix. This needs to not be at this. Specifically the problem. I was wrong with landscape. The whole point of this, okay, so that I don't very easily readable thing. Yeah, you have made the least accessible. If everything is small, this is the problem. Small. You said this is the problem points and print out is the fucking where it says due to FDA regulations, we're not legally permitted to state that are so don't don't say it. Don't say that comes after the first line that says it is very helpful for and I can't you need to fucking

bold it next time. No, don't just take this fucking line out and put the FDA regulations thing first with that's on the other paper. We already dismissed the other way. No, you need the other paper because that is the promo. I'm getting hot. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm getting where's the other paper here right now. I'm getting you the other paper. This is we better go to this lunch after this. All right. I'm buying. There better be a nice my week to buy. It stops week to buy. I'll buy it like I buy it every time. No, I bought last week. No, this is what the FDA wants us to say. I took us out in our in my my Cadillac in your fifty seven. Yeah, should I get a big Cadillac? Yeah, absolutely just for going

to lunch. Yes. My higher right go down. This product is not intended. This product is not intended to write. Is a plant treat cure or prevent any creative is a play. Look, if you already fuck with Cratom, then ignore what we're going to say and just go to get super leaf dot com slash come town and super specie or super specie Osha is okay for twenty percent off your next order. Get super leaf dot com slash come town twenty percent off your next order. Now this product is not intended to diagnose treat cure prevent any disease. So we none of that shit, but I will say it's nice. I like it. And you should buy it. If this product is intended to be nice. I don't know if this you're allowed to say this, but

it definitely fucks you up. You can get it. They're recommended doses in a pinch where you can't get fucking pills. Yeah, check this shit out because it is most definitely a drug, but it's legal for the time being. There is a loophole that allows you to buy it over the fucking Internet, except for in some backwards state like Alabama, except for that bullshit where they might. Where's that fucking fan bitch? Sarah Sanders. Hold on. She's running for governor. Super super super super leaf dot com. And what separates them from their competitors that most Cratom brands are manufactured in really poor conditions. Bullshit naked ladies naked Guatemalan ladies with their titties out so they can't steal anything. Yeah, like

in New Jack City, but not as professional. Mm hmm. Sometimes these are home based businesses selling products out of their garage. Most Cratom on the market has potentially unsafe levels of bacteria. That's yeah. And guys sometimes guys cocks. I'm legitimately having trouble reading this. I'm struggling to read. So can I read I could read it. You've go ahead and read it. Let me see it. Pass me the paper. You don't know how to read. You got to pass me the paper and then I can read it. You're in third grade reading fifth grade. My laptop reading. I try to put the laptop away. No reading. Adam is a third grade. Okay, listen, I want to put my head in gravy, stick bubble gum in your face and fuck you in the air.

Okay, I'll know how the song goes. Stop. That's gross. Things like salmonella, E coli and mold are common. I hate all that shit. Yeah, I fucking hate it. Yeah, and that's you can only get that kind of stuff. It's super. No, no, no, you don't get that. That's the competitors. That's the competitors. Yes, that's cool that you get to say that. Imagine we did a read for Burger King. They're like, did you know McDonald's is filled with dog shit? Often there's poison. We pasteurize our Cratom, which means they put in the microwave. Yeah, 90 seconds. They just buzz in the mic real quick. You know, and that is clean. And then our creative and then test vigorous vigorous rigorously to protect our customers. We meet

the American creative association reading off a laptop, not a fucking fucked up piece of paper, but it's smaller here than it is on that. I don't think so. Yes, it is. I don't think so at all. We meet the American creative association standards for quality verified by third party audit. And our product is handled as a food product. Okay, also stands for the way the supplement should be. Wow. Dogs. Yeah, dogs. American Kennel. There's an American creative association. There's a video intro to their brand. There's there's two. We play the video intro, aka also a black lady sorority. American Kennel Association, the logo, it's it's like an Asian guy wearing a 10 gallon hat. What's on the menu, partner? There's

a brand like a barbecue brand. American Kennel Association. Our dogs are finally grown. Some of the most delicious delicious dogs you've ever seen us da state. That's Andrew Yang's America. That's what we're looking forward to when he becomes president of New York. He's a real New Yorker. It's so funny that Shane got fired for saying chink on a show and then Andrew Yang was like, um, I'd like to reach out to Shane and we can talk about saying chink. Yeah. And then they did. They spoke on the phone. Shane said he was like, yeah, he's cool. Yeah. He seems really cool. He seems cool. He's just a fucking done. Well, I'm just saying that's like a wild series of events to happen. So you should you're

trying to get Andrew Yang trying to get a phone call for you. I'm trying to have a fucking position in the Andrew Yang mayor's office because he will be mayor of New York. Yep. And I don't think so. No, you know, who's putting him there is Yixing Ping. That's true. He's being installed. Okay. They are these guys, the creative guys are passionate about what they do and they view Kratom as something that they that one day can help just as many people as cannabis does get super leaf.com slash come town. The stories they hear their customers are absolutely incredible. People are able to ditch their prescriptions with Kratom and lead a healthier, more productive life. They sent a link to how to pronounce

super speciosa super speciosa because I guess I was saying it wrong. They're super speciosa. I don't know. Maybe it's Italian. How about they link to this? They can balls. Just make sure the fucking check clears speciosa.com. We give a fuck how you pronounce it speciosa. They don't have C in Italian, right? It's speciosa. Cinema super specinima super specimosa. Special education. I take a special special education classes. I'm a high society. The research shows that Kratom interacts with the opioid receptors but in a much safer way, significantly lower risk of dependence and respiratory depression. Respiratory depression is what causes people to die from opioid overdoses. So good news. It's significantly lower of a risk than heroin.

It is a you have a much less chance of dying of a Kratom overdose. There's chances to fuck up every day. I'm out here riding a fucking bike. No helmet. I'm taking my life into my hands. This is significant giving the opioid and epidemic we face as a country. If you or anyone on your team has any interest, you can skim through this presentation recently given by Dr. McCurdy. Oh, is it Janet McCurdy's dad? Yeah, he figured out how it was possible for her to have sex with Andre Drummond. Damn, she was a leading Kratom researcher from the University of Florida. From just a scientific standpoint, would like to see his dick go into her pussy. For science. Yeah. I'm not even trying to jack off to that necessarily.

Anyway. What are you trying to jack off to? Many girls with big tits sucking dick, getting their pussies fucked. You girls with big tits sucking dick. Or honestly, what I like to jack off to is after I send a picture of my dick to a girl, she says wow, that looks nice and then sends me a picture of her breasts. I like that more than porn, I would say. They do that for you? Sure. It feels like a really nice boost to have a girl look at your dick and say that looks cool. Really, all I want to do is be in the woods and chop firewood. That would feel good right now. That would be cool. I want to go on some kind of training montage. I feel like I'm in a training montage part of my life. Get in the falconry. I don't

want to get in the falconry. I want to, you know what? Imagine if I had a big ass bird on my arm and it's just sitting there on the glove and Adam prints something off wrong. And the bird just fucking tears his face off and then it flies back over. Calmly. The two feet that flies. Just all slow and then lands on my arm and I say good boy. What's its name? Eric. Good boy, Eric. Eric the falcon is such your cock. Eric the falcon and he just fucked it. You're bleeding all over the place and I'm like, could you, could we please do the show? Could you please? Do I have to send the bird over there? You know what, Nick, I'll say this. Don't listen to him, Eric. You know what? Don't anything he has to say has nothing

to do with you. It's a personal problem. You did your job, Eric. It's very refreshing to have somebody do his job around here. A little tiny microphone that goes to the bird's mouth and we just put it, we slowly turn Adam's levels down and Eric's up as we replace Adam with the show. Eric the show falcon. Yeah, that would be kind of, you know, you can go get us lunch. That would be awesome. It would be cool to put a little order on. Yeah, and it's a little tiny scroll over his fucking foot foot. Yeah, that'd be cool if we pitch the Silicon Valley. He's not your bird. You're not listening. No, we pitch. You're not pitching anything. We pitch a delivery app, but it's all done by falcon. Yeah, yeah, but then everyone

has a falcon. It's not special. No, every restaurant would have a falcon. We have to have to bring over Indian Falcons that were doctors and they're like what I live. They would have me do a face surgery on the ugliest women. I would cut their faces to make and now I come here and I do Uber eats. And I am a talking falcon from India. I like the idea that yeah, he's doing the surgery with his beak. Yeah, pecking her a big ass nose making it smaller. You're watching Preethi make over on Bravo. All of the good doctors in India have moved to America to work for Uber Eats. And now all we have left is Falcons. Hopefully this falcon could make my wife's teach bigger. Shoot off the Falcons are laying

eggs in their breast. She has big lumpy breast eggs. You have to put the eggs in there and crack them. So the teachers become juicy, but crunchy. That is honestly what I think I would not want in a breast. What egg shells egg shells. Fuck up the whole vibe. Yeah. Although maybe over time, don't people like put like eggshells on their hair or some shit? Maybe we'll make it nice. It dissolves. Doesn't eggshells have like some fucking kind of nutrients? People put in in the garden. Maybe the guard is what I'm saying. Yeah, people put it in compost. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like eggshells people claim have a lot of fucking properties. So maybe it would be fine if it dissolves into the titty. Oh, I tried a new

mushroom the other day that apparently is supposed to help your brain. What is it? It's called lion's man mushroom. It tastes like crab meat. I've heard of that. Yeah. It was a good actually. It tastes like fucking. It tastes like you get it from like a California roll like fake crab meat. It tastes great. I got it at the farmer's market. Lion's man mushroom. Let me look that up. Because I've been getting into mushrooms recently. Fantastic. That's a buy right there. Lion's man mushroom is a buy. I don't know. It's also a buy. Yeah. What's that? Sexual. Oh, this looks interesting. This mushroom. It looks cool. It looks like it has. How'd you make it? You grill it? I just sauteed it with a little bit of garlic.

I love to grill mushrooms. I did it. I did a dry saute because it has a lot of water coming out of it. And then I put in a little bit of extra version and then a little bit of garlic. Adam, why don't you? Yes. Why don't you rip out mushroom saute? Okay. Well, I read the Wikipedia page for the movie gravity. So mushroom saute is sounds. I'm pissed. Sounds like a she had. She did a transaction. Okay. You keep going. African American. Okay. Keep going. Sandra Bullock's armpit should have not been shaved. She's in space. I don't even remember. What the fuck movie came out eight years ago. How do you remember that? That's something I was pissed off about. The biggest flaw in the movie to me is where there

are two astronauts already in space working on the satellite and George Clooney floats up and he's like, so what are you doing up here? Yeah. What? Also, she's scared to be in space. Is she? Yeah. She doesn't even want to be there. Well, yeah. The real biggest issue with the movie is that this is supposed to be a person that's been immobilized after the death of their child, but it's like, you're an astronaut. You accomplish something that no, like four people on earth. Like, I just, I haven't really been able to do anything. Like, except become an astronaut and go to space. She's like a teacher. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. But she should have hairy armpits. Yeah. And

maybe you should see a little pussy here coming out of the side of her. They all have hairy armpits. The space suit, because space is a vacuum, but so is the pussy. Of course. So it equals out. So there's really no reason a female astronaut should have the suit covering any part of it. Well, that's how a black hole starts. Logically speaking. Their pussy should be completely exposed. It reverses the gravitational rays of space. Yeah. Well, they put them in the suit and their pussy is sucking up all the air from the male astronauts. Yeah. That's why George Clooney died in that movie. Listen, you're going to have to steal your pussy. One of it either your pussy dies or I do. She's like you. It's oh, man, always have

to sacrifice themselves for women. That's always the story. How cool would it be if you remade Titanic and fucking Jack made that bitch Rose sink? No. And he get the movie. The movie is about an old man that got pussy. And he's like, he just starts telling a different story immediately about a different girl. Yeah. And then he's like, and then in 1930 Rose is like four minutes of the movie. I was in harm and I fucked every bitch in that guy's. That's a much better movie, dude. He's like, oh, yeah, I guess she did die. Oh, yeah, I was on that. I got pussy on the Titanic. I got pussy on the Titanic. And then all we see is where all we see is her kids. Yeah. And then that's the whole part. She was so

in love with me. She just sank in the ocean. It off on some shit. She could have been on one of the rich people, but that's how you know, I had good ass dick. Anyway, as soon as I got back on land, I fucked this Puerto Rican. And we didn't even have him. Now we got him all over the place back then. They were not around. Yeah, I was on an island. I thought I was gonna have to fuck this Galapagos turtle. But suddenly the big titty natives came out of the forest. Dude, I want to see Jack. Yeah, I'm going to make that movie. That'd be a great movie. Titanic for guys. Remember. And so much, Jack, do you love me? Yeah, of course. Yeah. You want to give me pussy in this car? I'm trying to get some

car pussy. It's literally just him narrating and all the like flashbacks are hardcore porn. Dude, the biggest ass tits. She's just letting me I'm just we're like, we were fucked up. I was like, let me draw you. That was my that was my move. That was like, if you're an artist, I used to carry a guitar around didn't know how to play the thing. No, you just use it to get pussy. And honestly, they don't know this. But I would draw the t the naked shit. It was just a it was just a stencil. And then I would just have to fucking fuck up their face. I took a picture of her naked while she was sleeping. And then I just traced it while she was she didn't know. That's how dumb this bitch is. They didn't have revenge

porn bars back then. Photography was brand new. Photograph a bit you rip her shirt off while she's asleep. Take a picture and then you trace them and then they think you're an artist. Get they show it to all their friends and they're like, I can't wait to get pussy from this guy just got back from Europe. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Damn. I would love that movie dude. Put Leonardo DiCaprio in fucking prosthetic makeup. Don't even get it halfway through. Zack, listen, you got to fuck my friend for breezy. Oh, come on, baby. And he's like, How do you say spaghetti? Yeah.

Brits are just fat as shit, sitting next to him in the chair, next to him just eating spaghetti and smiling. I can't wait to get some pussy also, but we got so much pussy, Jack. What other dumb movies have been to have to sacrifice themselves for a while? Just redo all of them. As long as we're remaking everything, just for guys. Yeah. You don't even have to change.

The pendulum swings both ways, girls. Is that you make the guy version of a girl's movie, but this time you do actually switch some fucking expectation, right? Instead of it just being like the guy version of like yaya sisterhood, right? Because that would just be a movie for gay men. Yeah. Yeah. What is it?

It's pants. They all share pants. They all share pants. That's the sisterhood of the pants. The sisterhood of the yaya. You should see that movie. You should see that movie stuff because it takes place in the Greek island. I might rewatch Mona Lisa today.

The movie's so good. Mona Lisa smile. No, Mona Lisa. The Bob Hawks. No, you're talking about Mona Lisa smile, dude. Stop trying to take shots. That's where I send the bird. I don't want to stop the before Eric comes.

Listen, the pain that Eric would inflict from his talents would not hurt as much as the pain of you making a new friend and ditching me for some sort of bird. You mean a pet? I don't know. It would be a friend. It's not a man. A pet is a friend. You're jealous of a fucking animal, dude?

You're jealous of a pet, dude. That's fucking pathetic. It is pathetic. Are we jealous of Isis? A little bit. Not at all. Never be jealous of your dog. We like her.

Is she better than me? Equally. It's the only reason we're friends with each other. I'll take it equally. That's nice of you. The only reason we're friends with each other, the only reason you're on this show is because you have a dog. Yep.

It bounces out the vibe. What was I going to say? Nothing. No. Absolutely nothing. No, I was going to say something. I'm fucking shit is what you're. What's for fucking lunch?

I know, dude. I'm so we hit the hour. Mark boys. Let's figure out what we're going to eat. Did we hit the hour? I think so. Maybe we should do another read just for money for money or fun. Yeah, we'll do it on one on spec.

We're going to start doing spec fuck. Is there a place to get everyone knows about driving a car is having a pump to gas. That's why Tesla has invented a car that runs purely on batteries. Fucking fucking Eli. Can we rob his ass, dude? Let me get a fucking Elon. Let me get two mil Elon. That's all I want.

Give me two mil. I want to buy a fucking brown stone to him. I know. You can buy so many brown stones. I want a brown stone. Wow. Give me two mil. Elon. Can you imagine Texas?

How much criticism she would face if Elon Musk was a woman. So fucking true. A woman could never. She wouldn't be allowed to have that much money. They wouldn't. They wouldn't allow it. They would kill her. They would.

No wonder. They were fucking shit in her pussy. Damn, I'm trying to throw up on the mic, but I can't start because people get mad if we eat on the mic. What if we started throwing up on the mic? Yeah. Like that. You fucking don't listen to the hot girl politics.

We do believe me on the money. Yeah. People getting mad at Red Scare for doing believe me on the show. We keep not eating on this. Stop not eating into the mic. It's disgusting. We're just kidding. We've patched up our friendships with them and by we, I mean me.

Oh, interesting. No, interesting. Well, I went to a New Year's party featuring Anna. It was nice. Okay. We had a good time before people start spreading rumors about some kind of interest show animosity. Wow. I don't know.

There's there's there's absolutely no there's nothing. There's no beef. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. I had them. So I watched the stars natural enemies in the they're not my natural war of weights. Anyway, I watched the movie Jack this weekend where Robin Williams is an adult but a boy. And yeah, it's pretty it's it's pretty absurd.

How hot his mom is who's his mom Diane Lane peak ten of ten, Diane Lane, like the perfect Diane Lane. You know what? I was actually every woman. Watch that movie. It was. I don't know if something that was put on it. Maybe two thirty a.m. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a horrible. It's so it's Francis Ford couple. Yeah. That's so we but it is kind of I do want to like program a film festival where I play that and Clifford and there's one other movie that Diane Lane's got some nice titties. Diane Lane. All right.

Let's bring up her tits for it. She gets fucked in that movie unfaithful with Richard Geer. That's what I'm looking at. Very good. Sexy. That's what I'm looking at. Well, what the fuck is this? This is a bitch.

It looks like you're just getting fucking torn up the fuck is this Diane Lane stolen sex tape? What the hell is this? I don't know. You got your fucking child things on like, oh, you know what I did? I just heard there's some fucking website like a Jerusalem estates. It's some apartment complex in Israel and for whatever reason, like they're fucking ads, but they these fucking these guys, these sheisters, they put something in like the

code of their ads. So if you're scrolling on a website, it stops scrolling when you hit their ad so you accidentally click on the ad. Oh, and I've accidentally clicked on their ad like a hundred times. So I had to block their website as you should have. But when you block it, like the only way to block an individual website on the iPhone, you have to like block all adult content. Really?

Yeah. That sucks. I'm watching something. Do you think this is Diane Lane? Yeah, that's the scene from the movie. That's just a porn. No, that's the movie. She looks kind of like her.

We should do an entire episode of shit clapped. We should do an entire episode where we're all just watching different that's Diane Lane. She looks like her. Honestly. I'm by the jack off. Oh, I'm about to jack off my back before I beat you. Why? Oh, fuck.

Damn. This is anyway. I got to stop watching this. Yeah. Well, I got to stop watching this boy. That is straight up bad news bear. This is this is the scene from Unfaithful. I've seen it.

Let me just say this. She is the hottest woman of all time and she plays jacksman hot bro jack. She's hot. But wait. Wait. Okay. This is the this is the the women in the movie jack. All of them.

Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez. Top of her game. Looks great. Fran Drescher like places friends mom who wants to fuck him salute unreal looking in that movie and his mom Diane Lane. It's it's it's one of the worst movies with some of the hottest women. Some of the nicest pieces of pussy some of the nicest pieces of pussy in the entire world

piece of pussy curse the piece of pussy curse. I don't know. All right. Listen, guys, if you haven't gotten a Stobby baby calendar yet, we've got a discount running right now. $10 off only got about 100 left. So go to Stobby.biz. That puts a calendar at $1 each that is not one not $1 each.

I don't exactly know what it is. There are 40 they're charging $47 each that is not true either that now we've overcorrected to the other way. So go do that. And Stobby.biz. There's a t-shirts available at com.town. It's the official podcast merch that you can wear. A lot of them are safe to wear a lot of them are for bitches.

It is Nick's merch. It is not the official podcast merch. Well, I'm on the podcast and it's officially my you know what? My calendar is the official money goes official podcast calendar. Thank you. Who gives a shit? Thank you. I will take you that.

Okay. And I'm starting an app. Gives you shit. I just want to announce today I am starting an app. I'm good. It's an Adam Friedland app. You can talk to other Adam Friedland fans kind of like Jeremy Renner tried to do last year.

Are you starting an app? Yeah. Yeah. Why not? You can play store and you know the iTunes story. That's such a bad name. Like the Google like let's play. Let's play.

Let's play. Let's play. It does sound like. I'm going to play. Play. Play. Play. Come over to play.

Yeah. You want to maybe use Google. We could play. We could play around. See what happens. Download a couple of apps. That does feel like the way show the phone in my hands. That does seem like the way like a weird Polly person would say come over to have sex.

Yeah. Well they call sex play. It's weird. Yeah. Those are the worst people in the world. Because you know what's playing. You know what's playing. Toss the ball around.

Have an old fashioned catch. Kid in play. Kid in play. House party. Put a guy. Yeah. Putting that guy's hair in your pussy. That's play.

Yeah. So what is the move for lunch boys? The move is going to patreon.com. That's true. That's true. All of you are tired of the lack of quality in the regular episode. We post all the good episodes. The patreon.

The patreon. They're much different. They're the post lunch episodes. We're fired up and I've been saying slurs under my breath. Playing the penis game with slurs is the way to reproaches. And then I'm in what they call the goofball. It's too cold to eat outside though right. We're going to have to order again.

You're shirtless. You're not wearing a shirt. But I'm indoors. But you can walk in like this or your clothes got sucked into the electric bicycle. I was wearing a fucking jacket and the hoodie and the shirt. That's why and I was doing vigorous exercise which even though some haters will say it's not. Did we do the reeds?

We did. Both reasons. We did. We did dick pills and cream. Damn. I got scared. All I could remember was that Falcon. Let me just say that I fucking even though it was an electric bike.

Let me pull up my fucking Fitbit right now and say you know I burned 2000 calories today. So it's like you had you only had 10,000 calories doesn't seem accurate. Why is that possible 2000 thousand calories of activity. How are you not like a mimic. Oh that includes your like your lumberjack breakfast. The yeah. What is that? I have 26 zone minutes at a bollock rate.

I have 26 zone minutes in the fat burn zone. I love that for you. Thank you very much. I love to hear you. Let's just everyone chill out. It's working. Let's everything. There's one thing that's amazing about those Fitbits is that you see those numbers and

it definitely has a correlation with your what you actually look like. Again I will the hate rolls down my back because of the shape of your back. And let me just say because of the same slant as the stomach. There's no no. It's because I'm not affected by you small people okay. If you were if Adam or Nick for example if you started this look first of all my criticism is directed towards big tech not big people. I don't think I have you have a well documented problem with the overweight only because stemming

from your own traumatic your mother stem from Big Tech's Association. No. Yes. If you were if you were doing some what I say to you if you were doing a little bit of mental health if you did a little meditation would I say you're a fucking piece of shit you only did 10 minutes or would you go get out go go to fucking therapy. No I would say good job Nick. That's a nice small step.

If you were keeping did I say did I say don't exercise. I said that doesn't sound accurate in terms of your Fitbit. I would have liked some fucking positivity. I think I think Adam. I think you should. You should walk away. I've always supported you every step of the way. You have.

Yeah. And when there was one. And you know what that was. Go based on. You should go based on. Yeah. You should get rid of the Fitbit and you should exercise because it makes you feel good and you'll establish a more healthy relationship with exercise rather than one dictated by

I love the Fitbit. Some trivial machine and you know what I'm going to get an apple watch selling you data. First of all you have an apple watch so I can tell what time it is you have an apple watch and you're always talking about macros macros are different it's no they're not macros are it's they turn into calories but it's also I'm on the other end of this but you don't need to be exactly right. You do need that's what I'm trying to tell you we're the same you know you need to be mindful of macros and stuff when you're you're in the window of 8 percent to maybe 12 percent

body fat because then it's a doubt that's down to a fine science when you're six seven hundred pounds I weigh 285 pounds. Not bad. Yeah. Thank you. You're down 40. I was up to I was at 315. To be honest with you I can never tell how much you weigh.

My memory of my memory of you when we first met was that you were seven hundred. I was probably 315 when we first met but I remember you being much I remember you not having like like articulated knees. I was round as a bitch for sure moving in the way that and I would do it I was a geodude would I was yeah I do get I do get pretty fucking wobbly. Yeah. I was wearing I was since then though because I remember you losing weight and then I probably since you lost your hair I've just thought of you as a bald person and I don't I don't

really know. Classic diversion. I don't really know. Now the hair is bad. Now the hair is bad. And all you can do is look at how fat I Adam is like stop getting three pounds I'm like how can you tell you man I didn't gossip about always constantly as soon as you leave it's like stops up 10 pounds.

No that's not I never have installed secret scales in the do you have a secret scale before Adam didn't go on the floor but it was weird. I had one of those like those memories. My entire apartment is a scale. Those iCloud memories pop up from when we went to DC in like 2018 we went to that Chinese restaurant. Oh yeah. Remember.

You look like literally maybe a quarter of the size you are now. I was much. It was that was right before I hurt my foot. Yeah. And it all went well. I don't know. It was right before. It was like that might have been that might have been the only off the beaten path restaurant

that I've ever taken the boys to. That was where I was given a compliment. Can I say you crushed it at him. I was like do you want to go to this holiday in. I know there's a off of New York Avenue. I know there's a Chinese horrible restaurant right off the phone. Like very very much off the beaten path. That restaurant.

You know when you immediately started gaining weight after that so who know it was a couple of months. This is my friend. It was a couple of months. It was the skankfest basketball tournament who and which one of your friends said stop you should tear your plan or fascia at the game as a joke Adam. That's right. No I didn't say that.

So me just worried about which device you happen to be using. I will be using an Apple Watch. Is that what you want. Has this all been. Yeah. So I can add you as a friend so we can do walkie talkies so we could do walkie that that is a big reason I want Machiavellian pursuits the bully a man into being able to use the walkie talkie.

And then as soon as Adam gets an Apple Watch they're going in the trash. What size do you have when you get one of the 44 I don't know I think I'll go smaller. No this is like that's probably a small one. Yeah. You kind of have tiny wrists actually you're insecure about your small wrist and then you do have small wrist but the penis size actually it's a pain in the ass to use like the buttons. It's like not as I can't imagine it would be more comfortable or like well certainly not easier but I feel like the smaller would be unusable.

I don't know I'm just used to the little less fit bit anyway we're going to eat man. Let's figure it out. Let's go to smoke joint with John Brown's fucking barbecue. Where's the Long Island City. What we're going to do outdoor dining and twenty three degrees. I won't bar but what I'm saying is let's get barbecue barbecue man why not seafood. Where isn't there a seafood place. I'll broil us some Seawolf can we just go buy some seafood and I'll broil it and go

to the store. Yeah if you want to that'll be good some salmon and watch 48 hours. Yes I would love to do that get some barbecue and watch what I don't want to get barbecue we'll meet in the middle. We're going to get a smoker and smoke a salmon for 40 let's get a big green egg. Use it indoors. I love that to warm my apartment fill it with some nice smoke juices. I don't know why but I would love to cut your head off with a machete.

Why did you say these I don't know it's just sometimes it pops into my head these things sometimes your head would look funny on a big one smoker we sort of green if we did like a kind of like a Rwandan genocide you know you know just left your head in the middle of some dirt road somewhere let's show local children kick it around like a soccer ball but I don't know it's past it's gone all right well we're back to normal. You guys also haven't noticed that I've been wearing lifts this entire episode yeah you have been yeah are you yeah to fix my posture I've bought elevator lifts oh my god I thought you were joking.

You gave shoes I've never seen in my life I thought they were just crocs no I'm wearing clogs for my posture my side no that is like a fucking pilgrim shoes the posture of not being six foot three. Is it actually no I can't really it's good for your back yeah my back's been right though I feel like that would like shorten apparently people in the restaurants and people that are on their feet a lot where where dance goes so I've gotten them as my in the house but you're not you're sitting down almost constantly that is true right now you're sitting down you're never any time I see you you're lounging no I'm walking from living room to

bedroom to bathroom back to kitchen you know I'm constantly on my feet that's what people in restaurants where they look like they would like slip no well yeah you got to get used to them you got to break them in but it's like fucking dumb ass shoes yeah but like look at this bad boy that's horrible right there I'm I'm literally being a woman right now you are wearing women you're wearing a high heel I'm wearing high I'm wearing dance goes anyway oh Adams deal corner Paragon sports if you're in the New York City area is doing a massive sale because they're downsizing their store so everything is like that store is ridiculously over so where they're I guess I don't fucking sucks I love Paragon sports

it's one of the places I go to go to R. E. I. is where is Paragon and also to it's like until like fucking three years ago there was mode out I mean mode else is gone now so you have no option she got to go to Mo's but you can't we used to have sports authority and city sports we had sports authority city sports mode else there another one too no not that I think can think of that was just like straight up yeah yeah I used to go to Halliburts sports over and over and where the fuck is that like pass Rosdale I don't know if there was a dicks in the city there's definitely I'm thinking of dicks there's dicks in Queens yeah sports authority was loves going to sports authority was the spot yeah dude I used to love shooting

hoops on the hoops inside of sports authority yeah all right what's that seafood market around here bed style fish fry maybe that's not a market that's just a restaurant captains oh yeah yeah something like that yeah or yo you know what because I'm moving this week we should we should I don't know I'm sorry for saying yo I'm sorry I didn't mean to say yo but we should we should go to the seafood well cool the seafood piece pizza restaurant okay yeah yeah the restaurant that is both the seafood and pizza we should go to we should break in the David boss said before I move I want to go there one time yeah that's probably cool it's probably all like filled with like mold and slime and snakes and shit yeah we

could see all the new Orleans post Katrina David we should go to Chuck E cheese for the pizza dude it's not bad but it's good pizza yeah all right goodbye everyone bye