The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 248 – Girl Power

Episode Date: February 24, 2021

boss bitch pussy wet like concrete...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 penis couldn't get me hard they said my dick is small and my balls are too small to they said my penis could not get hot at all unless I look at a man they said my dick is small and my balls are too small to that that's how I supposed they said my dick is small they said my dick is small oh yeah that's good and my balls are too small to and I could not get hard unless I was looking at men they had dudes and I've never had an heart before because my because I am gay my little ass fucking dick is small and I can't get hot I got my penis off I took my penis out and everybody started laughing they
Starting point is 00:01:11 said my dick is small and my balls are too small oh my god we got seven seconds they said my dick is small and my balls are too small too I am gay I only get hard-looking and I want to see a woman's pussy psych no I don't want to see a woman's pussy in the studio and I need to fuck a man soft and I need to suck a man's penis and fuck his mouth and I am gay I can't wait to get funny man and let me suck his dick yes sir yes sir I want to see myself use another penis don't want to suck his dick I want to suck his ass yeah thank you thank you Edinburgh we are the white stripes we are the white
Starting point is 00:03:20 stripes from Chicago London to play the music to play a music picture show we are the white stripes from Chicago town we have a slideshow of pictures of us doing the things in the song stop showing us you fucking a bunch of guys it's going to take us a break to look at the slideshow it's an experimental type of music you guys suck I'm Jack White and his name is France right it's supposed to be a girl and one of us has a small penis and the other has the big one and we stuck into each other like nesting dogs
Starting point is 00:04:41 and I want to suck a man's heart dick and fuck his ass and I want him to fuck me right through my eye and I wish he'd make me wear makeup and a pretty dress I want to get a really nice nice dress and then get ready my own dress to my right my dick is small and then get ready to dress that I made where's the real white stripes we're doing tiny boys did we do a tiny voice and we sing about making dresses I paid 85 bucks for this you know you remember the special poetry jam I don't the video like the special as you get well I guess they're just kids with the abilities but no disabilities that's not the same you lie is it no that's different that's the
Starting point is 00:05:54 that's don't point the knife at me yeah Nick's got a fucking sweet knife you have big ass and holding a knife pretty cool it's pretty tight knife is that what's the cat it's a hanzo kikotori it's a hattori hanzo k bar knife k bar don't cut the leather on my come on dude why those are free anyway you got them from the garbage you got them in the garbage no I got them from the factory after I sent back the one from the garbage yeah in fact what we should do is steal those from Adam and we get free boots you've had your fill of these how many years you had these last like three years okay girls wear these no no guys and girls
Starting point is 00:06:34 no blue stones are girls shoes guys and girls and Australian people mostly girls were guys guys guys have knives now they care and no shoes guys don't have shoes like flip flops and knives having said that I would like them so you can't have them I thought you have boots I do I have you have nice boots I have size six e yeah you have eleven and a half six e boots perfect for my you have size six boots but they're double double D boots you got double yeah they're true there's there's six e I have ease dude I don't have double D's you cut brass I have e cup feet I'm gonna titty fuck you between your feet I'm gonna draw nipples on
Starting point is 00:07:21 his ass we made the prison guy we got a woman's way to put on his lower back draw a smiling face on the small dick we are not we've been tattooed miss Piggy's face on his ass and got it a wig you know what I never understood what was that was that a there was that one video of the guy from jail who said he makes somebody toss a salad because you can't pretend it's anything but an ass do you remember that video no I don't remember that it's like a guy who says when he's in prison he makes guys eat his ass and he's like you can pretend you get you can't you can't pretend that's anything but an ass because you can't see it but
Starting point is 00:08:31 to me to me the gayest thing to do would be to fuck someone's ass or make him suck your dick because you know an ass you could pretend as a pussy much easier than the other way around an asshole yeah yeah or it's just a woman's asshole as far as your concern that's just something I never understood that's right when I go to prison I guess unless you least thing you can do the least gay thing you can do is to be penetrated in your ass yeah yeah for right otherwise do you know that video do you have you guys know I've never seen a guy talks about tossing salad Nick it feels like you know I had literally have no idea really
Starting point is 00:09:11 was it from a like a dateline NBC locked up type show I think so I don't remember I don't remember exactly what it is but I just never understood that logic if anyone at home knows watch that video and see if you can pull it up dude we have multimedia I guess I guess I can look for it but I don't remember I even know how I would oh you got the ox cable let me see if I can find it toss salad video tossing my salad tossing my salad and you go toss me my ass toss my salad oh yeah it was Chris Rock had something about that Chris Rock said that you know what it was a bit that
Starting point is 00:10:01 Chris Rock I think Chris Rock did a bit about this video I wonder if I just did Chris Rock's bit without realizing what are you gonna do comes in and he wants some drugs how do you initiate him the guy goes well the first thing I do is make him toss my salad oh yeah I wonder my salad well what's that yeah well having your salad toss means having your ass whole eating out with jelly or syrup wait syrup what I must you go through all of that sir why not just oral sex and he goes well when a man sucking your dick he can pretend that something else when he's
Starting point is 00:11:02 eating ass he knows his ass I mean that I just don't understand that man's logic how can it be a penis yeah he would rather die than be gay yeah Chris I don't know about that Chris it's time to cancel Chris Rock let's cancel for being black now wait a second so okay I guess that what but yeah I don't I just don't see what that gay the gay prison man's logic is you can't everybody's mad about cancel culture now they didn't care about cancel culture back when they canceled Africa mm-hmm and made everybody slavery yes you're right because they canceled being African
Starting point is 00:11:50 they did they got a they canceled your pan you got all black people fired from being African made him get new jobs they don't get any money that's yeah you know they had jobs in Africa that's you don't know how problematic the shit they were doing yeah that's true do we have the back of Twitter back they were low they were low-key problem which doctor Lord of the coconuts the guy that guards Donkey Kong's board I think they also had like you know farmer and not in like no there was a library I think but there was that one guy from nobody was using that shit they would back in the day you know that's not what I've seen
Starting point is 00:12:35 on Facebook group Timbuktu they had the world's largest library but none of those average guys would ever go there they just got rid of it that's my understanding I see I didn't think that was the case well who got where to go then I would love to play it's not like they brought it with the slaves imagine playing Oregon Trail to Timbuktu library yeah that would be a straight anona no it was all homeless guys in the Jacking off they had to close it down like these homeless guys keep pissing and jacking off every great library in Alexandria jacking off in there that's
Starting point is 00:13:13 what happened they burned it down because there was too much hobo jizz there yeah that's the problem you can't make a library the library too nice you can't make a number in this yeah we noticed it's different than usual yeah and by the way I gave you you know maybe the problem is I gave you the box I'm sitting on I'm too relaxed off the box Adam was talking about my box actually I was not complaining but you you most generously offered to take the box for this episode and you know what I feel more alert I have to keep my posture yeah you look like pretty like this yeah I'm fucking nice when we get a little trailer to do
Starting point is 00:13:56 this yeah yeah we're getting a little a little like diva trailer is that what it's called yeah like we're on set we don't want to come yep that's my god I'm gonna be throwing tantrums in the tree we got the Kevin Spacey you suck off a PA trailer yeah we're so we're gonna be doing the fucking podcast why don't you send a boy in here too many girls have been giving me my coffee send a boy yeah I'm gonna be in a dressing gown no you're not in my trailer you're gonna be fully nude in a little corner yeah we're gonna be sitting on a box give you a little gibbon half like a monkey a little fez to wear because
Starting point is 00:14:33 clearly you're too comfortable it's rude it's it's is harming your participation so we got to keep you on come you're gonna be soaking wet we're gonna whip your nipples every once in a while okay okay you should hang from the ceiling exactly I'm gonna be on a bed we have a bobcat that gets to swipe at you that would be awesome yeah I wish we had a minute Adam listen to us completely in a cage over a pit filled with spikes then on either end there's bobcats that's why yeah rock the cage back and forth to avoid the bobcats cuz they can swipe through every time you bomb he lowers just a little bit I don't
Starting point is 00:15:13 like point is you know I don't like point is on the other side of the trailer a little kitchenette yeah we're having fucking brownies brownies and wings oatmeal cream pies and shit dressed up we're eating cliff bars we're ready for a day of hiking but we're just gonna get fucked up off ketamine and not like we're just taking pills and fucking eating bacon in full like in five hundred dollars each worth of like I'm covering gear yeah I got a canteen filled with fucking Nesquik the camel back of you who no we've got a camel back of I see we're go we're camping
Starting point is 00:15:55 it sounds like it's just the three of us together shut the fuck up you're gonna piss off the bobcats if they come over here and start pissing at me I'm gonna be pissed if I lose one more drumette to a fucking bobcat it's your ass Adam who raising that's in an MRE in MRE and that's when we need fruit and that's that's that's that it stands for a movie theater fucking shit in a box movie theater concession shit ready to eat ready you can't get boxes of candies anywhere but you can't yes you can't you can't and the soul everywhere they don't sell it in that box they do go to fucking Walgreens blockbuster what do you
Starting point is 00:16:49 mean they sell it in like plastic bat like they got it in a bag for my thought go to a good go to a good go to a good grocery store well be quiet Costco hasn't Costco sells the cost goes out of way bigger than the movie theater big power the big packs I do love that giant peanut M&M's barrel that they have a Costco yeah it's pretty imagine how devastating that would be that's gone in four and a half hours and that's because it's been one hour like no I can't just being my god damn it a little baggies 35,000 calories I don't know how I did it according to the science I should be
Starting point is 00:17:41 immune to Corona by now part of me for a name dropping go ahead but I met this girl and she told me something that was very cool okay family I actually know her dad her dad came up with the yellow M&M money off the stinker dad her dad came up yeah my dad came up with the shocker her dad came up with my name is Elizabeth shocker my grandfather was the first person worthington shocker was the first man to her dad came up with the Templeton shocker and came up with sticking two fingers in the pussy and one in the ass that guy's in the African American History Museum who is George Templeton shocker wow I didn't know he
Starting point is 00:18:30 was black well so what who's the person you met her dad came up with the M&M cartoons he came up with the sexy green M&M whoa yellow peanut M&M and the red way sexy green was way after red he was in charge of the whole does he have anything to do with caramel does he have anything to do with I'm sure I'm sure he had fingers on that I'm sure he had his fingerprints all over that so she rich off that I'm assuming that her family is rich but when she said that to me I was like that's very cool is she single no she because I respect her she had a boyfriend because I respect those bloodlines but I will tell her that my
Starting point is 00:19:09 friend thinks you have are of good stock of the off the strength of those characters yeah I am offering you access to my penis madam yeah so if it ever doesn't work out with your boyfriend you let me know you need a new consorts if you're needing you a gentleman caller needing you bow I'm here and by the way I'll guarantee you I've eaten more M&M's and whatever Joker she's fucking I saw the size of him you're being what the fuck is that supposed to mean he was a he was a slight so but yeah I was very impressed by that brag that's a good one yeah I was like that's cool that's cool she's like all right you you were you
Starting point is 00:19:49 were name-dropping for 45 minutes straight she's like all right time to shut him up yeah you're like I was like build a Blasio son listens with Fort Bragg they just march around and they're like I have a thousand girls speaking I'm not gay yeah I'm straight one two three four I am not gay I have seen a lot of tits I am basically bored of pussy I have gotten too much pussy my dick is too big I have a hundred PlayStation 5's I got PlayStation 5 before I came out it's still in the box I've been too busy getting pussy I have a bunch of candy in my house I have every flavor of Kool-Aid at my house
Starting point is 00:20:57 my family invented M&M's Adam got to meet me I'm at the girl who invented M&M's build a Blasio son is a huge fan of mine too who else listens Adam I know you have a role of Dexie our show yeah a lot of people so there's some celebrity super fans David Chapman yep from hell from heaven Richard Lopez yeah Richard Simmons is a big Richard Simmons the massive big come boy I would love to spend some time with Richard yeah she's like I can't say it but like yeah she's like so funny it's like I'm so sick of these fucking trans people you don't understand the joke she's like what so black people supposed to be cool now
Starting point is 00:21:59 all this then she just kind of went into the rant interesting history X oh I don't remember that she when she DMs me it's just her breasts yeah she does that too she sends me a super naked masturbating she does that from me before you know what I can't stand these these fucking ADL Jews I was like listen I'm gonna turn the volume down you can keep going I'm gonna be looking at those fucking breasticles jumping I'm not gonna be listening to your fucking mouth I want to know with the how much is the rent in your pussy if you catch my Tokyo drip you in that do you know the people I'm gay my dick is small can
Starting point is 00:22:51 you introduce me to Vin Diesel I have a listen I have an idea for imagine seeing Vin Diesel at a restaurant being like look this is a million and one shot I'm a waiter but I'm a struggling screenwriter and I'm just two words fast nine think about it here's my car you guys do that yeah without my permission you can expect a lawsuit my lawyer aka the knife my idea my mind I'm just calling dibs on that my lawyer Franklin do machete Frank do suck oh that's our wine that's brand name I actually speaking of brands is there oh there is there's a brand called kushwa
Starting point is 00:23:42 dream ass oh my god I fucking love it I can't get enough cushy dreams my damn self wouldn't be up if anything if any if anyone knows inside of my brain when I close my eyes it's kind of like a corona commercial but instead of beer it's a guy's these guys cock so guys cock and then after the guys cock it's behind underneath under his cock is cock pre-roll before his balls before his balls there's a beautiful piece of high quality CBD from our friends over a cushy dream CBD flower not those stupid oils and no what are you a fucking pushers and what are you what you don't want to smoke what are you fucking a
Starting point is 00:24:27 bitch that's yeah oh I'm a baby I want CBD gummies no you don't bitch you want to smoke the shit like Don Draper yeah it's on Draper ever take a tincture no no less was acid I think you got to get pussy yeah but with cushy dreams you can get pussy and smoke something you can get pussy and smoke you will get pussy how about that you're guaranteed that you can you're guaranteed to get if you don't get pussy when you smoke cushy dreams the owners and operators of the brand will come over to your house and suck your cock personally because she dreams is 100% flower grade CBD pure 100% ecstasy style
Starting point is 00:25:08 product tested in a lab in the laboratory 100% delta extraction 99 it's government and they got the shit that the government they don't they got the shit Obama's you care about that shit you're a fucking fag that's what Obama and Richard Brains that's not my opinion it says that here in the copy yeah that's kind of fucked up of the same but look look their company it works as long as the checks cash it works all right I don't care I don't care what is in there much like Rosario Dawson showing us her breast but let's be honest if you're smoking CBD it's because you used to smoke weed or you have
Starting point is 00:25:52 some kind of chronic pain or something yeah which I don't buy that no I'm in pain all I mean I'm sure it works but I don't buy that there's people that are like well when I found out I had cancer I decided to do drugs for the first time right you you already had easy we were supposed to believe that you just got cancer praying and like only fucking your wife yet that's not a worse cancer the wicked the wicked the wicked in the day we know that you're amongst the wicked in the dam that used to smoke weed and now sort of are trying to go for a break for a little bit but can't even fathom not smoking something that
Starting point is 00:26:33 sort of reminds you of weed you can do a lot worse than cushy dream you need the flavor flower works they got a bunch of strains they got I know they have create relive in relive and enjoy in joy in juan yeah intense intensity protégé they got a picture of Mozart on there yeah cushydreams.com slash come town fucking something come yeah good and fucking come down to dream.com slash come down or come down or come down I think it's come down but I don't know the code might be come shut the fuck up Adam why for saying what I bet you it's not you want to bet $5 no why not because I only bet
Starting point is 00:27:23 on things that I could win it you might so you're not you're not confident you don't think it's come times money I think it's come down with cushy dreams you'll be confident in bed every time when you're smoking weed in bed by yourself smoking cushy weed in bed mm-hmm you won't you won't even be able to what I use it for is I go to a lot of these parties with popular kids right yeah and they're smoking their weed yes I want to get too good yeah cuz you're fucking dad's gonna be mad I don't want to get too good because I gotta get home by 1115 and if you break curfew again you're gonna get fucked in the ass by
Starting point is 00:27:58 me again I'm gonna get sodomized by both my parents so that's why I just hang out with the popular kids by say hey I brought my own it's my own and no you may not be sharing with me because I'm afraid of the coronavirus I'm sorry and I know that I'm at a party with other popular kids and I'm breaking quarantine but but I will not be sharing up to a point yeah I will not be sharing grass with you I think we should all smoke our own home I'm smoking my own dope or here's what you really do if you really want to trick the popular kids you buy actual weed mm-hmm you roll them their personal joint yeah we all have personal
Starting point is 00:28:37 joints you're and then you look like a baller and then like bro we don't have to split anything everyone gets their own and then all the popular boys are too goofed up off of weed and then things happen and then we wake up next to each other and then yeah you're free to take advantage sexually you've got a clear lucid mind the high quality CBD from our friend like you think you're gonna be the most but the fucking fucking all-american running back not anymore your fucking dreams it just works and you want to smoke your CBD because you can again one of the best slogans in advertising here we are right here's your
Starting point is 00:29:30 copy smoke your CBD you can CBD rich hemp flower and I guess they're also telling me they got some shit called Delta 8 now damn that's the shit the government got which I don't know if they sent me well I don't know what the fuck it is that's what the operators use hey look go buy it put in your body see what I want some of that Delta shit you have some that's what women do with people with cock try this out what is this Chinese let's see how they do so what they know he's he's peeing he doesn't know any better yeah that's what they do there is he just looking for a toilet interesting three lines private
Starting point is 00:30:26 reserve ultra premium and premium every can size isn't eighth each can is nitrogen sealed for optimal freshness they got Noss in there they got that Vin Diesel style they got fucking Noss you can mix it with anything else you like to smoke heroin here's your hair black tar list pussy heroin pussy heroin listen I'm addicted to pussy heroin listen up you fucking you fucking hooked on the shit here's the desired effect six choices strange specific flower cans relax peace create hustle energy or dream wow and now some of these are that's great there's sativa and indian ok indica indica ok they are hybrids daytime
Starting point is 00:31:14 hybrids nighttime hybrids they got little day and night hybrids so that's like was that noon hybrid that's like a sunset you cut it in the night and well this time if you smoke if you smoke the daytime sativa at night oh you're in for a wild ride you'll die so make sure you get your dosage correct you gotta make sure you get it right fucking messed up definitely spent some time on air with talking to guys with with tool avatars tell you which way to go they got pre-roll CBD joints every pre-roll is one gram smooth rolls featuring optimal burn I love it when the burn is up I kind of I love this little pre-roll the
Starting point is 00:32:08 candle I'm not gonna break up weed and that's kind of like the using the flesh light of fake weed is like putting it in a ball dude it says sitting there smoking fake weed with cardboard cutouts of friends watching like that like I did you know there's TV does cardboard TVs they have in furniture store I used to want one of those when I was a kid TV I don't know people off the scent yeah shit that was like fake or not what is I thought that was so cool yeah yeah it was pretty tight mm-hmm like a fake VCR cuz you know what yes more than the TV I wanted the fake VCR that like cuz it looked cuz it was
Starting point is 00:32:55 like a plastic box and then you get there you try and put your finger in it can't yeah mm-hmm that's yeah that's what I want I'm with you bro and you can get those you can get those the cushy dreams dot com that's kushydreams.com and use promo code come down for 20% your first you owe me $5 I didn't bet on you but it was it was implied you own $5 I never see this move the IDF special niggas putting the he's bent over that's how you castrate and he's stabbing at him from behind with the knife you swipe the knife like his reverse cock yeah you swipe the knife like the knife is coming out of his ass Michelle Obama
Starting point is 00:33:38 Michelle Obama that's how she fucks Barack she came up with that and that's how she got into law school okay well that's the that's that's the show cool oh no sorry that's the read yeah come to our town for shirts if you like the show and you want episodes that are scripted right good very good yeah we do especially this week this is sort of just an idea of like yeah well how if we just winged it right but on patreon we we really work this is like imagine us sober mm-hmm and writing down really giving a fuck and yeah every the whole season 22 episode we're on of scripted episodes that come down yep which is
Starting point is 00:34:30 what makes the show funny yeah oh yeah planning in the in the effort it would definitely be good in and on the patreon yeah yeah we're all our optimal guys and I'm neurotypical yeah and I get pussy on it come on out some things are too fanciful shut up some things are too fancy where the hell are we the magic school that's where you get pussy I don't think that's a really good one man just lie to them is that is that Lizzie the lizard I see yeah we must be because we're if Adam's getting pussy that must be Lizzie we're in PBS is the magic school we must be hanging out with Carlos and Arthur
Starting point is 00:35:31 hard for a back of the school bus no dude Arthur the fucking nerd Arnold Arnold yeah so of course you would know his name yeah that was named after Arnold Schwarzenegger no because he's you know he's he's actually one of your friends my friend from camp like one of my camps Arthur the hard are that's good the heart of the hard are the hard are the hard are the hard are the hard are patreon.com slash come town mm-hmm for more mm-hmm for PBS's come time to be brought to you by viewers like you by put like by penis it is kind of like a telethon honestly a never-ending you should be able to call in the patreon to
Starting point is 00:36:17 pledge that would be awesome and then I we could do like a little Jerry Lewis like telethon should we do that should we do once a year of fun a funding a patreon drive dude we should honor the numbers we should do a telethon for muscular dystrophy and we I would love that we can throw the number up on the board you got a come town tote bag if you donate $25 the muscular dystrophy that would be cool that would be sick and then the whole time just bring people on to explain what muscular dystrophy is and not even let them get a word in yeah and be like you ever get pussy you ever get pussy from one of these guys is that
Starting point is 00:36:55 illegal because I would think that what is the disease due to the pussy make it stronger I would think so it would at least feel cool compared to regular you ever think about calling it a bus chiller just suck your dick chiller dick I would love to do a telethon telethon telethon yeah you know I you know I'll admit what are we at halfway in here I am starting to struggle with the box yeah welcome my nice to have a little you know what I've done six seven you know what you guys when you guys switch stop don't point at me you know what I want to stand up this is a new whole new world standing pot now
Starting point is 00:37:43 I'm standing it's it does feel weird right when it presses into you the knife dude don't press the knife in my hoodie funny a hard ass day I won't do it I promise let me see we got to go back out in the woods it's nice it's got a nice way to balance nice balance on it's fun hold on I'm gonna get you guys knives let me see you do you want the same one or do you want a little different the fellas knives it's a US army on it yeah this is the same one that the operators got I don't know I have no idea oh yeah it's a good weight mm-hmm do you guys want one of those yes sir all right we gotta go we do need to go they got one
Starting point is 00:38:19 that's yeah they got one that says the Marines and I guess when you when you get the Navy seal one and the other one you get the Marine seals you want the seals yeah I'll get you that one thanks yeah so which one do you want I'll take them when we get a little Greek army I do I actually really let me see if they have stopped did you see the tiger documentary I haven't yet there's part of it is that he got addicted to hanging out with the seals really he'd do their trainings and just get the shit beat out of him by like by the squad seriously and it like fucked his career no he like sustained injuries and stuff that's
Starting point is 00:38:54 pretty tight damn tigers probably never gonna win again huh he did in the masses I know I've starting now motherfucker what is this I said again does that mean count the past don't count about this I don't know his back is fucked up he's not playing this year his back is fucked up from getting that's sure it's the coolest way to get back getting Waffle House waitress fucking dogs like an absolute it ain't nothing but my dick I came it ain't nothing but a man's dick it ain't nothing but a man's dick inside of my head well I never seen a pussy the king you mean the racist who stole everything no
Starting point is 00:39:48 that's bullshit dude that is fucking bullshit fucking what's his face with a little mustache that is the gay guy invented rock and roll that is both Elvis what's his name what the fuck is the guy's name Chuck Barry no man the coolie little gay guy a little rich rich his name was little dick yeah you tell me that's the guy who invented rock and roll thank you people don't say Elvis invented rock and roll he's got people say that he stole black music the truth is when he was growing up in Memphis he was he was essentially just a wicker and he only chose black people and he was about it he was about that
Starting point is 00:40:30 life he wasn't trying to all yeah he wasn't okay well how about this if he had a career like that was just what he was about listen to me if he had a career like Paul walls where he was making love it beloved but a niche character fine but is that what happened no he got to be the best it'd be like if he was always be like if he was Eminem yeah exactly exactly that's that except Eminem fell off after a while but he definitely in his in his prime was way big as fuck you could argue a little too big no way for his skills I'm not a big Eminem guy I don't care don't don't talk about the king that way look I used to
Starting point is 00:41:10 love Elvis more than anyone on this child something like that there's a there's a what's the song about a heart or whatever don't fuck my ass no that's Billy Ray Cyrus I don't like your tone with that one come on man don't suck my dick my little fucking dick so what shut up no the achy break you know I just said I was just singing heartbreak hotel yeah how's that one go since my baby left me I fucked a lot of dudes and I saw that you looking up knives Nick I am trying for you the right knife what kind of knives do the Greek army use we're gonna get stuff we're gonna get stuff
Starting point is 00:42:15 the Greeks like turkey carring huh Greeks turkey yeah but we all know I mean we all know that Stavros is a draft dodger and that you should be serving the military that's why I was drafted by the Greek army and had to have to fucking decline you renounce your citizenship because you don't want to fucking fight for your country when you just sent them a picture of you and you have to lose your citizenship well first of all I can get it back I think it's just for the time waiting that's that's right we our idea was to do an in the army now yeah about you go to the Greek military so the way in the our word now so yeah I
Starting point is 00:42:58 pretend to be retarded to get out of it but they sent me to a special ringer yeah yeah no super special I can't I can't be I can't be in Greece for longer than three months in a year or I'll get arrested and they'll put me in the army because even at 32 years old at a certain point it expires but I don't know when I have to check come on but yeah because because the whole reason I'm not in is because I'm not a full-time resident what is the what is a Greek like modern Greek military uniform look like just regular camo it just looks like regular camo shit but with cool you have berets you we do have a raise or so
Starting point is 00:43:33 sick we do have a raise I mean the green berets got him but I think every US military person needs to get a different color I'm actually part of the pink braze but guys that fuck the most I don't think that's yeah I am I am you can look it up check it out get super leaf comm slash come town and super specials a instead of oh sorry I'm not supposed to be that part super special is the name of the cratum oh my favorite and get super leaf comm slash come town is the website as you go to to get a special deal that I legally I'm not allowed to tell you what it is so it's so it's such a good deal that it's
Starting point is 00:44:24 any way to write it over on a podcast that somebody would bar to this door and fucking kill us right through the eyes cratum will fuck you oh yeah not a cure for anything it's a drug that has snuck by it is a real drug that's right and while the fucking it looks like vitamins so it's the best of both worlds you're taking care of yourself and you're ignoring text messages from women the only people that seem to care about you anymore yeah I like the last four the last couple of them let cratum be the bridge that takes you over to the side of your life where you have no meaningful relationship instead of just a
Starting point is 00:45:12 couple zone out and here's the thing that's nice about cratum there's no way there's any fentanyl in it yep you're 100% safe just getting cratum yep you're not gonna die you're not gonna die use safety standards created by the great American American association cratum means that it's safe 100% legal except for a couple of bands at the state level in backwards places like Alabama don't forget Alabama famously known from the movie burning Mississippi which takes place here which is what they used to call Alabama missus and burning missus cross burning Mississippi yep because it Mississippi
Starting point is 00:45:54 the time was really chill like Paris San Francisco son you basically in the Riviera we all were all sucking and fucking and saluting the black man we all love having sex with the black man we can't wait to desegregate the restaurant yep so how about race it to me and it's a little mouse underneath the my section of the restaurant you can't make people say that that side of the mouse because mr. Richard gear trusted me so the reason we have racism is because Richard gear is gay it's because Richard gay and you can find all that out at get super leaf comm slash come town yeah home of the number one
Starting point is 00:47:01 cratum brand in the United States super a special super special so aka get super leaf aka it's really really not confusing which is really good the brand is very stream really good you know something's good when it has seven websites I can't decide on a name honestly that is kind of true if you're that bad at business but you're still in business your products good you got the poor yeah you got the fucking good shit I don't even have a name for your shit yet and you're buying ads on yeah we think we're gonna name it super special so yeah or mr. Lee for getting pussy the drug get fucked up dot com slash rockstar powder is what it's gonna be it's called guy
Starting point is 00:47:52 Fieri's super power mix registered trademark and we're gonna check with him after we're just gonna we know mr. Fieri Fieri yeah but they sent me some of this shit and I tell you I had a nice little week yeah just couldn't pick up the phone trying to try to get into the Harry Potter yeah I'm gonna see if I get through this time I'm gonna get in what they're damn about and get super leaf com slash come town where've you gone out you can get 20 million dollars I like coming up I like coming up on some legal 25x sativa or what's it called salvia it's great and coming down on some super
Starting point is 00:48:51 special yeah yeah and we're working hard on us on a salvia so they laugh that'll be awesome we got a salvia they do all this all this shit is lab tested or something yeah which means that science dickhead that went to school to be a scientist is now couldn't get an actual so he wears a lab coat it's something called like Earl's dispensaries and he sits in the back testing a guy that's stupor the most scientist but smarter than you says that this is good I'll take that get some relief dot com slash come to slash come down slash come to slash pussy I suck the man's penis
Starting point is 00:49:40 and you can't fight a rock your dick is too small don't do it yep yeah said my dick is small and so all my balls they're small too I can't get pussy my dick is too small and now I'm gonna kill myself because I suck the dick I can't wait to kill myself and I wanna fuck your ass in mouth mm-hmm this is a really good one yeah doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodles suck my penis let me see your balls damn I wish we could I wish we had access
Starting point is 00:50:50 to like a go-kart track maybe a block away so if we do the show I'm gonna do a couple of do couple laps do the second one and then just spend an hour recapping who we do what I had one that turned 3 but dude okay that's what we're going to do the next time we go to a cabin we're finding a place with a go-kart like there was probably one literally within a mile where we're staying well let's find out but instead we did cocaine to play katana that was that was pretty I was getting pretty angry no I was fucking being I was you're an angry I'm a passionate he's passionate
Starting point is 00:51:28 Adam's a little fucking weasel yeah thank you he's like I got nothing can I trade looks like I went again I'm pretty good at him fucking flirting with us to trade it fucking idiot not me listen you guys blocked me ring or you under water and horny he's in the octopus's garden lady in red so when does this new James Bond movie come out 2021 this year I guess we is it 2021 or yeah it's 2021 brother it's Barack Obama still president yeah best friend is yeah imagine going into a coma in 2011 and you come out
Starting point is 00:52:43 now and you're like just tell me that they didn't elect that black guy and they're like they did like but they followed it up with a Nazi where we at now it's like it's just a regular racist old guy I guess I broke even yeah that is yeah that's true I guess everything's kind of fine everything's all right I mean nothing's really gonna fundamentally change I guess and the Nazis will probably be back next time yeah well next are gonna elect a Chinese woman and then I'll drive the country insane and then after that we'll have swarming in from dad would yep that was so sick if you was I
Starting point is 00:53:25 just hope the president after that will be swarming in from John Wick hell yeah yes hello Jonathan yeah welcome the hotel guy oh and one more thing I'm going to need a picture of you everyone has to give me a picture here at the Royale everyone must show me that penis hotel Frank to suck yeah you know I haven't been getting into Harry Potter but I keep getting the urge to do mushrooms and watch Lord of the Rings yeah not good man I've never seen it I've tried so many times I don't know why to be a Lord of the Rings I just want to take mushrooms and watch Lord of the Rings F.A.G. I tried listening to be an
Starting point is 00:54:12 F.A.G. Tolkien J.R.R.R.R. J. Hard R. Tolkien I was in the car the other day being a fucking imbecile I'm so glad I'm like brain damage it's awesome it's awesome because I remember six years ago I was like all right time to fucking time to focus get smart you there's somewhere in there's a smart guy you got to quit all this shit you get late 20s and you're like I should I should have a brain and then and then once you get nice once you start getting settled into your 30s fuck this I'm stupid yeah I'm stupid my dick is small fuck you gay I'm gay my body's in pain constantly and I'm doing even more drugs now right when
Starting point is 00:55:03 I should be stopping now is the time to really because when you can feel that risk it up ramp ramp ramp ramp it up yes you're playing with something now we were actual money that's right we're gonna add them the other day and someone put ketamine in the cocaine and I didn't realize it initially and so I thought I was I thought I thought I was dying and you're just taking I was like oh snap okay I was like I was like a little bit embarrassed right because if I had just died I'm like I hope I don't just like die in front of my friend I like a fucking low-key hangout yeah it's like not even a party just like in a guy's
Starting point is 00:55:45 house just sitting in his chair just be like oh yeah excuse me real quick I'm gonna go to the bathroom I'm gonna just let me just close my eyes for a second having to die politely sounds so gay dude I don't know like what the fuck I was supposed to scream be like fuck no give me some pussy quick before I die one last little piece of pussy yeah man we need to come and wait the way cops like go out into the street somebody call me a slambulance I need this bring the slambulance if you guys see me dying get on arrows.com immediately get me a fucking prostitute I need a VMT I need a VMT to do
Starting point is 00:56:35 mouth to dick with resuscitation we suck me off we suck me option suck suck suck my dick let me fuck your ass merrily merrily merrily merrily I love it dick penis kick show me your dick show me a show me a penis oh baby I'm a little suck penis man I'll try to get back in the weed and watch a bunch of loony tunes dude I you guys are making fun of me no no no I'm saying because you loony tunes are good I'm stealing the idea we laughed it's loony tunes are good it's it's a bug's bunny is funny I'm gonna get a bowl of Lucky Charms isn't funny he's yes he is dude he's an asshole okay I'm more of a I'm more I'm feeling more of a
Starting point is 00:57:26 road runner that's great too yeah it's a nice bit that they execute well you know it's also good is the old bitch that owns Tweety Bird the episodes that feature the old bitch yes I do like her do shit there's one where she's trying to drive her she drives a Nash Metropolitan and don't they make her like a witch later I don't remember her well it's cuz you're fucking that's what they're called I was watching smart shit and that's me when I was that age I was watching the McLaughlin sword fish you were yes I was I was watching swordfish I was watching swordfish and watching Hugh Jackman getting sucked off while he was
Starting point is 00:58:01 trying to hack code yeah that is the best scene in all of cinema it's close and John Travolta makes him get his dick sucked at gunpoint while trying to hack that's how he knows he's got somebody can go to war with also John Travolta's wig in that movie is so funny I know that guy's been bald for like 35 years yeah it's pathetic honestly his soul patch it's pathetic to hide from who you are and honestly I feel bad that I was doing it for so long I might I might so I'll hit two years with the beard in I think May and I'm gonna go 90s goatee fuck yeah I don't want to get some khakis with a cell phone bell just a
Starting point is 00:58:45 fucked-up supercuts haircut yes just like a comb to the side just fucking an absolute just like a red guy on like a high blood pressure take a nice scene and yeah and like just to turn red just pissed like always like reading about military history and saluting people McDonald's yes sir yeah I'm gonna become just a middle-aged fucking just piece of shit that rock start wearing a wedding ring and then just like hit on 17 year old but nope I'm married so yeah we're both just becoming what are y'all doing you're looking for boyfriends yeah yeah absolutely dude like this hair really was the key to me becoming a
Starting point is 00:59:27 fucking Greek fucking idiot yeah yeah ignore like yourself thanks then you've ever looked before I appreciate this is your best look I keep saying as much as people like people get mad at the beard and say that I need to shave wait till you see how mad they are about the 90s gonna be awesome it's cuz people are thinking well it can't be worse than the beard just he's the man's got a gift for looking stupid believe me he's gonna figure out a way to look horrible it's gonna look bad you go sling blade on top awesome dude and Adam will continue to be a coward who takes no risks you're just boy yep I'm gonna just what are you
Starting point is 01:00:12 gonna do me you need a look refresh dude you haven't you're not a chameleon at all what do you mean I had that mustache for two years and I shaved no one remembers your mustache because everyone remembers we have better mustaches than you so bullshit honestly Adam and I'm not even this to be rude to you no one remembers your mustache all right that is rude but not I'm not saying I don't even need I don't even need anyone to remember you know I need to remember that I was there and now it's gone yeah I mean for a look refresh I think I'm gonna just try to try to do more of a Western wear look okay see that might be some
Starting point is 01:00:49 for you a Western suit would be cool a Western suit would be great yeah nice bolo and gallon hat smoke and tellin yeah wrong with that I love when you're at the airport and you see that's guys going to take advantage of the fucking beard while you have it well with Western that's that's why it's so hard to shave the beard because it's like once it's gone it's gone yeah you can't go back to having a lot of work into it I mean I'm not sure it would take eight months to get back there like you know something close to this where you wouldn't really be able to tell the difference right right right but it's not about that
Starting point is 01:01:23 though man it is it's about the era yeah it's about the era continuing I get it yeah I understand oh yeah it's hard one of the biggest mistakes was growing a big beard cuz then you can't I mean really it's very hard to get rid of yeah absolutely yeah I mean I'm I don't God knows how long I'm gonna grow my hair out it's so funny I know I want to imagine if imagine if you shaved it now oh I can't be demoralized if someone I would be like Samson somebody cut my hair that's the way to hurt me it's the only way to hurt me no I mean it would also just be like not worth it at all you have so you have you have a place you
Starting point is 01:02:01 need to get to I know I got there's no reason to grow your hair out to this link I've been allowing myself I'll cut this looks great but you got so you cut the mustache I cut the mustache cuz that grows back relatively quick yeah yeah and I like that maybe I'll just do that go Amish for a sec why yeah you go chetchin you get oh yeah yeah yeah Muslim what's his name bev Batal for whatever the fuck codder cutter of yeah suck me off suck my hole suck me off well folks if you enjoyed the show and you want to donate money to the muscular district
Starting point is 01:02:39 come to us come down you fucking goo-goo's all right thanks guys bye bye

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