The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 250 – pissmeal

Episode Date: March 10, 2021

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This is with my pussy and they fall my mom little boy blue the mind in the morning and my dick son and my dick sex and welcome to come town oh my god so much shit's going the fuck home of challenge pissing this week in the news number one Chris Dalitia by having sex friend of the show he's not a friend of the best friend of the show my friend with my friend you guys friends with him yeah dude yeah we do like me I was at the mics with the lea yeah we should go to we used to go to sneaker squat swaps men me and the crew called you meet ups we called it we call ourselves the shitty comics and it was

me and some of the loudest guys in Los Angeles I you know I was I was there the first time Delia raised one eyebrow after whoa it must have set the room on fire dude I it was like a moment in history I didn't really I was like I ain't scared you motherfucker I don't really I didn't pay attention that story I'm glad I didn't say anything because it did look like initially that like he had just hit on a bunch of women and then any time it seems and any time well I'm saying initially yeah yeah there was like one that was like you know he was hitting on me when I was 17 and then he posted the full exchange and she was like

I'm 17 he was like oh that's too young and he stopped talking those I mean I barely paid attention to it yeah I don't remember but now there's lawsuit I think there's a bunch of women who say he was trying to fuck them when they were underage I never liked him I never I never liked him because there's a video of him saying that there's no such thing as like Hollywood pedophiles oh that was an awesome one and well his dad's a producer yeah so his dad's got to be a pedophile his dad's definitely a pedophile and it's like so it runs in the family and then sexed into it yeah he's like this thing of our fucking

children Christopher Christopher fucking talk it's an olive garden sort of thing yeah you know when you're here you're six when you're getting your dick sucked by an elderly Jewish producer but that yeah the lawsuit and the stuff in there is pretty what does it say it's pretty wild dude he fucked like yeah it's like teenage girls he like solicited dudes off like 16 year olds yeah yeah so he he did look I have no doubt the thing is it's it's very possible that I he could be he's sort of like I mean not that there's a much of a generational gap but sort of like a Michael Jackson situation yeah where it's like I have no

doubt in my mind that he has raped children infants even yeah raped and murdered babies but at what point is someone's art so true for example one that always sticks with me is the joke where it's chicks are crazy and guys just don't give a fuck yeah one of the best premises I've ever in my life he does like a three-minute bit on that premise stand up rockers girls of course crazy guys just don't give a fuck but you know some of the greatest bits of all time operate in that like that I can sure yeah that's true you know yeah but that's just he really milks got

girls are crazy guys just don't give a fuck yeah I mean but I guess he proved it you know yeah he just didn't give a fuck he didn't give a fuck about his defense long age of consent like your honor I just don't give a fuck yeah and those chicks they were crazy which was wild with him it's like bro the catch you know he could have fucked 21 year olds that's what you know what I mean it's like but he just wanted to fuck 16 like you're saying that if he couldn't get pussy he would have to I'm just saying it's weird he's not like a teen idol you know what I mean we're like yeah like he had to seek out like teens like I bet

you Justin Bieber or like whoever the fuck I mean Justin Bieber was fucking adults when he was a kid that's Justin Bieber's like the cool kid that's true yeah yeah I remember the other day after there's a paparazzi picture of Justin's penis was there when his father tweeted he was like I'm one proud daddy or something because his cock was big yeah his parents are just Canadian trash whatever dude I fuck with that guy heavy Justin Bieber's dad no Christopher Christopher Lee is who you mean oh man crystal yeah well there was stuff in there in that like the complaint I guess I don't know the

right words Adam help me out here yeah complaints and it's a civil complaint or a criminal one he's being sued so I guess it's civil okay but it hasn't been arrested right but it alleges criminal activity sure yeah that just means there's a different burden of proof it's lower it's preponderance of the evidence it's more likely as your attorney I say it's more likely than not that's why O.J. lost a civil suit right to the goal yeah well in the brown one of the most fucked up miscarriages of justice the man was innocent by a quarter yeah there's like a flaw is that according to the double jeffrey double jeffrey classic double jeffrey damn

now I just want to re-watch double jeffrey yeah I'm trying to get my dick sucked by ash yeah ash I think it's that one I'm trying to win on it for that beginning of the beginning of that movie I want the whole fame to slab on my knob the beginning of that movie is edited in such a retarded way that there's like four scenes in a row where she's reacting to her husband being murdered and having like an emotional breakdown yeah it's like the first part where he is murdered and then again when like the cops are like like we can't find him or something I don't I never saw it again we'll put what let's just throw it all

Tommy Lee Jones fucks her in it or no we're gonna look in every asshole every pussy Tommy doesn't get pussy in movies does Tommy get pussy off he's never gotten pussy in any movie no I don't think I honestly don't think so God can you imagine a career he might as well not even be an actor no cuz he's can't simulate so of course that cuz he's getting pussy up ahead in the past and he was getting pussy turned around he said none of this is for you son no pussy just rode off when I woke up no pussy for Tommy LG yeah no and they complain it says that he there's like some 17 year old he kind of like

emotionally manipulated or this would have weird to fucked also just to be clear but he gaslighted her but then he like which is the more agree that's the worst but then he was here that he was gaslighted oh god oh I guess he was like I want you to meet he was like trying to pimp her out through his friends so is what it was a Bobby Lee Bobby Kelly Bobby Kelly the Bobby crew the Bobby calling the Bobby pants they would they would sing as a barbershop quartet while raping children the how we went down cartoon Bobby's world that's wow this got to be like I don't know how much like like sense of community there

is among like LA comedians but can you imagine if like like Aaron Berg we found out he was raping children and then like he was also getting like Gino and I mean I fucking like Patrick from the stand like yeah it's coming by it's bringing up bringing some put the Bible I love your Patrick's jail I know but they have a very well it's just like kind of generic Long Island kind of yeah you know damn I haven't seen Patrick in quite some time yeah I will be back I know yeah it will be back with a vengeance I was trying to get back I can't wait to Patrick was always my favorite guy oh I love that out of that

out of that and that whole operation yeah did Patrick was shown the team love before we had anything going on operation Dumbo drop yeah do you remember that movie no it's a Vietnam movie about putting an elephant dropping it with a parachute behind enemy oh I remember because it was actually based on a story about my dick it was based on the story by just your entire body it was my dick my dick is the size of an elephant no it's because the rest of the rest of it looks like Dumbo and then when they see your like a woman's expecting an elephant's penis but then it's an infant it goes elephant infant

why would that make sense and the Dumbo drop is the drop in in expectation that's not it's a literal thing it's the drip Dumbo Dumbo is my dick it's the expectation Delta they put me in to fuck all the whores in Ho Chi Minh's why they have it's too small oh they can't we can't put this elephant in the plane the small dick's gonna mess up the aerodynamics they got that makes sense they're a little it doesn't even make sense they're not damn it's gonna be messed up maybe the smallest dick elephant listen I've been I've been in Vietnam for 62 years I've been doing this war since 1932 you're still in the

shit and I'm still I've been in the shit the whole time but it was still French Indochina I came to Da Nang before back back when they before they civil war happened they called me a house soldier because they said we're going to send you to the fields but it's a different kind they got rice you know got rice and there's a yellow the yellow man hide deep down in there and he covers pointed sticks and shit and he jams him up into your legs interesting it's true they're treacherous the treacherous folks folks who's he talking doing a bit the rice pattern this is these are actual scenes from Operation

Dumbo yeah you know you haven't just why do we got to get these chicks and elephants so we can end the war I mean that's the premise I haven't seen it and I don't think they say we got an elephant we go and trade it to no we're not we're gonna trade these zippers an elephant that's how the boys go then you said it was a Disney movie yeah it's about a man who tries to end the Vietnam war with slurs oh it is Danny Glover yeah what the fuck would he be doing even I knew they why would yeah what the fuck I didn't remember that it was him well then you put it together when he was doing a no I thought he was

doing like a you know a Vietnam black guy Danny Glover man I knew he was doing Danny he's in the movie look they all got they all got a leo they all got skimp dicks we're gonna send an elephant over there he's gonna think the dicks peanuts he's gonna rip them all off his nose interesting and that on his end at all god damn it Danny you've done it again Danny god damn it lieutenant Danny you're the best black marine we've ever had this is the smartest colored marine we've ever had he came up with an idea to get an elephant to eat all the eat all the the Vietcong's dicks because they

look like peanuts that's the smartest thing we've ever a unfortunately the operation backfired because one of the guys dicks looked like a mouse and the elephant got scared what the hell were they doing this damn elephant in the middle of Vietnam didn't they have elephants over there I think so so we're gonna drop in more elephants I think you want to have sex I just watched Wall Street Wall Street not a very good movie it's a movie about getting pussy it's a movie about making pussy that's an awesome movie you know why you move to New York you move here to have sex

when I get this job on Wall Street I said there's one thing we're gonna do is gonna have sex do you think there's anywhere on the world in the world where you would have more sex in here this is one of the few they're in like a 20 block radius I'll go the opposite impossible for me to have sex anywhere you think I could go to fucking Stockholm and have sex they're not gonna have sex with me they're gonna have sex with your mouth they will have sex with your mouth that's true you think I can go to Otis Ababa it was funny when we were in Japan because it's like there's no way stop fucking there how dare you do but did you what

do you mean did I I was with you fucking on the pool so I wasn't on he wasn't trolling for puts like that couldn't do it not in Japan he was getting ready to go to Australia nice white country to have sex even if you went to one of your little cat houses it would be like sorry we only do humans are you kidding me dude a fat a fat jolly white man I think it's I would get pussy I looked up how to get pussy in one of those places and it sounds scary like cuz the what do you mean looked up how to get pussy considered buying a whore when we were in Japan with your girlfriend no I was just looking up how you do it oh just the

old Pete Townsend defense we were living right we were staying right next to the red light district I was like oh what's you know I was reading about it and they wanted to be a crystal it was like I was doing research I was doing research to see what a 17-year-old's pussy felt like no we were walking down the street and all those Nigerian guys are on the street trying to bark like they're doing barking trying to get you to go you are talking to them and it's like what are you doing talking to people in a strange country but but but in the whole things run by the yakuza and it's scary and apparently they live in a city they

give you a price and then you're done fucking in there that they can say any other than any price they want yeah and then they'll chop you with a sword or something no thanks yeah I'm a little too scared I would prefer European style brothel culture I don't think that they want non-Japanese why is that in the I don't know you're no penis no but no bring peanuts yeah don't ruin their pussies with your non-Japanese digs the best the best part of that whole trip was when I was like sort of we were on the escalator and I was like putting my ass in someone's face I can't remember who it was yeah pretending to be like

Ben like you know whatever there's just it was the perfect yeah leverages and heights separation on the ass literally your hole is in Adams no his nose and then I turn around there's no there's a Japanese lady behind us that she is so disgusted right exactly she is she cannot believe the fucking dishonor her mind she probably lived through the occupation so it was guys that looked just like me 50 years ago putting cigarettes out on her fucking like you know her bento box when she's coming home from yep you know school from calligraphy school yeah after all her friends are killed by the bomb and then

it's some bubble gum chewing GI it's like hey Mac what if I put my ass in your face look here comes one of them so you know I tell you the Marines they got a colored guy that's figuring this whole operation out with a dumbo the Senate they're doing another one of these but down in Vietnam it's like this place except you can fuck the kids there it's the same as Japan except the little boys are grown women and you can fuck them the little boys they give them tits they give him tits it's like Shakespeare times it's like a regular globe theater over there anyways they're sitting in an elephant I guess I should

keep it on the down low less than any of these Japanese here what I'm saying tell that cousins over in Vietnam you don't want them telling them I guess so you call them their brothers but now their sisters or something I'm trying to go to Vietnam dude I love it I love fucking Vietnamese food I'm trying to get a real ass bond me bro I'm trying to yeah I'm trying to slurp up some real ass foe yeah and the next level up because I feel like you know there's got to be others cuisines I want to go yeah they got they got more shit than I know I want to know I and you know maybe go down to a pile of rice I definitely want to

go see as well I want to go see the jungles down there no I don't want all that I know you know beach me and stop are gonna be at the beach I'm trying to 10 I'm just trying to see how fucking wild nature can get no let me get you let me get you know let me get you up on the board this summer I want a guy I want a guy I want a guy that only speaks stand up on the board whose entire language just it sounds like chewing gum being snapped it's a crazy sound yeah and then for him to take me out into the woods with a machete and introduce me to a reticulated python yeah that's the kind of shit I want to do this goes back or

I guess forward to our discussion about how you don't know how to enjoy things man what I want is a nice so to be taken to be paraded around like an aristocrat oh I appreciate a dangerous animal no yeah well it's just you know what Adam maybe I will get on the board this summer yeah I want to get you up on that board you know because I have an immaculate balance I'll tell you date line tonight the ocean has been destroyed big-ass boats in there the ocean is destroyed Coney Island has been wiped out by a massive the entire ocean on the globe is now in space caused by what we understand to be a

meteor collided with it it's like the movie deep impact yeah good fuck that actually because then I get all I can pick up all the octopuses and calamari that I fucking want yeah that's right rock away Calamari is there as I can fucking as I have my my little heart I'm gonna go down to the bottom of the Marianas trench and use it to blast a big echo saying I can see your pussy from down here and every woman in the world will hear it she'll be like what I can see your pussy from down here did imagine all the seafood you would have access to I can see your pussy ma'am that should is so scary what is help I'm

being rain deep sea to me by a man with a little ass dig help Michael Douglas is raping I live in the bottom of the Marianas trench and I'm sexy down here because I can see your pussy from down here, there's a hermit crab in the lips of my ass, I'm shiny, I'm shiny for you, I'm a man who is huff and keel, I've got silver lips that's fucking wild yeah it's a crazy story why you went down there to get pussy Mike I'm with you though it is crazy scary as fuck down there fucked up looking they're aliens they got fucked up looking fish with fucked up like yeah sharp up scary looking are those angler fish like those and that's just the shit we know about so I remember learning that about that when I was in fourth grade and I would obsessed with angler fish and I was like I want to go see one you want to

go I I mentioned before yeah it the when I saw that documentary about James Cameron a submarine that seems cool to me it seems scary getting down there but just being down there for an hour seems awesome in a ship seems awesome yeah and also and also I want to find Atlantis yeah well that shit's fake no fuck what's in the Bahamas they got a big slide yeah you ever see a vampire squid no those are cool too I hate that's the sound of that is that fish that looks like Ted Cruz does that live down there I think so I'm not scared of that though that thing can suck my dick look at this thing that's exactly the shit with the

little light bulbs in the front child and have nightmares about I don't fuck with that type it's a monster I do not you know what else pisses me off yeah some angler fish about the world sounds like you stop some angler fish are notable for extreme sexual dimorphism and sexual symbiosis of the small male with the much larger female okay that's fine with me I don't know what they're into big bitches I I I'll fucking I'm I have a fantasy about getting fucked by a big ass or big ass basketball playing woman yeah yeah said this before or I've said I feel bad for those guys that are into legit into giganticism like because what

they want that's outless cabbage what they want to like actually come will never happen oh true that guy that wants a 40-foot woman to step on him you're right it's just never gonna happen you're right cuz getting getting to look at breasts while I pump away getting a look at too big ass tissue bobble yeah that gets to happen a lot that if I that exists in the material but if I wanted to never fat breasts that are bigger than me to smush me in the middle that's not gonna happen yeah and that does sound awesome that's it's kind of nice to be vanilla in that I'm with you bro because I yep can you imagine like just

being fucking that's a scary fish what kind is that it's the same kind it's so scary fuck that anguish you imagine just your kink is so specific that you can't even tell your girlfriend yeah but at the same time it would be nice to have like a be into something so specific that if somebody just does it vampire vampire squids are cool as shit though yeah dude you got me on my deep sea yeah dude don't forget I'm okay I do this one looks kind of cool is that a no I'm a wildlife conservation society member oh yeah I forgot about that don't forget dude you're fucking Teddy Roosevelt dude no I just one of the rough riders I

just wanted to park for free at the zoo you pay $500 to park twice a year it's not free yeah that's not free with your little dumb ass no it is free anyway I go to any cost money and now but it's you can just walk right in with that car yeah it's nice you can you can cruise that's like being like you get like you get really yeah you get cheap diet coax 30 babies yes we do we have super special so yeah so when you you know it's really nice to do is think about the fucking deep sea and do some fucking crat cratum yeah cratum and just think about how true think about how tribute is down there

all the monsters super super speciosa brought to you by get super leaf calm well it's a collab oh yeah some kind wow some kind of collab collaboration collaboration collaboration I bet you no one ever expected get super leaf calm to be teaming up with super specie oh dude when two legends collided Godzilla versus King Kong ain't got shit on super speciosa super leaf calm dude if I knew as a little kid which is the cropping what a time to be alive I was remember when the critic was on the Simpsons this is like that times five yeah yeah that that ain't shit compared that's not shit compared to this fucking bullshit when

the Flintstones and the Jetsons and no who gives a fuck they should bring back the critic critic was awesome that was me that was he got to get fuck John love it's got so bad he got can't he got discriminated against for being a Hollywood conservative is he I think so I don't know maybe it's not but I have a maybe I think he probably is anyway so this is when you're taking Kratom from other places it's nasty it sucks my dick and it's made in garages it's made by bikers Chinese people Chinese people or worse or even even worse but this shit it's got the gold certain double it's made in a lab by scientists Kratom

Association of America yeah and it we can't claim anything no yes anything other than can we say it's gonna cure depression and do make you feel awesome you know you won't have anxiety you want you know you're you'll feel better you have a pepper you step we can't technically say it we can't but can we feel it in our hearts maybe we can and you can't tell me what to think you can't tell me what to feel or what to think you can't tell me what to be in my brain and that in our brain he's a small woman who believes all that stuff and that'll never happen that'll never happen anyway so you all you need to do did you find

the copy I'm still looking for it sorry the problem is super special so a great product is brought to you by some guy with like a like a stupid Italian name that I can never remember that's the why you started in your email was that I did they're all starred that's the problem is that start all of the emails are from different like here we go Ken that's his name Ken because he's got it like an Italian last name but then the first name is some Barbie shit oh it's Ken Cuccinelli yes so in kucha now I definitely have my own opinions coming to you soon yeah about how I feel about kratom which is very helpful for chronic

pain anxiety and depression god damn it no it's every time it's not we can't we can't say that kratom is a plant and in our kratom so in their kratom supplements contain only one ingredient kratom leaves crushed in the powder the awesome the good shit they don't adulterate concentrate or enhance their product and it's only natural straight from mother guy is pussy to your lips let me tell you they sent me a bunch of this shit and I had a very nice week sitting on the couch watching the grassy drinking kratom and striking out with girls and just absolutely blowing it well it was honestly yes it seemed pleasant yeah

yeah when there's no complications of getting sucked off there in your momentarily free from the grips of wanting pussy if I could actually like bring like find the energy to plug the switch back into the TV then my life would be literally perfect to get super leaf calm and they're passionate about what they do is they're passionate about what they do and they view kratom as something they can one day help just as many people is drinking does sorry is cannabis the stories we hear from our customers are absolutely incredible this day here from the point is that it's not medicine story it could be

Mike from Fond du Lac Wisconsin fine how about fondle sack was Mike Mike Mike writes just a year ago I was a coal rolling racist driving up and down the avenue covered in black orphanages gassing as many of these subhuman people as I could gassing them with his truck is a coal co-roller stacks but then I crashed I crashed my car while laughing hysterically during one of my hate crimes and I didn't have health insurance and while I still have insurmountable debt I can now I can afford kratom instead of the the powerful drugs that I would get if I had insurance and it's made me not racist anymore wow holy shit

and and now I'm married to Alexandria Casio and yes and now I'm her I'm basic like I'm her to her trophy husband and she's spending the millions of dollars she's making his as a senator yeah on me and I have all that's the thing I have all because I got fucked up on super get super leaf kratom so thank you Mike sincerely Mike former racist from Fond du Lac Wisconsin thanks my fondle sack Wisconsin the research shows the kratom interacts with the opioid receptors but in a much safer way I love what does that mean don't ask questions that's a great question Billy significantly lower risk of dependence

and respiratory depression respiratory depression is what causes people to die from overdoses so just remember kratom has a significantly less of a risk significantly lower is a much lower risk of dying so that's what I love to hear from my products this is significant when the risk is lower dying from using it this is significant giving the opioid epidemic we face as a country if you or anyone on your team is any interest you can skim through this presentation recently given by dr. McCurdy who is a leading kratom researcher from the University of Florida that's a real doctor my name is

dr. McCurdy you may remember me from the man that invented Christmas lights for your bitches pussy and now I got a new yeah we saying when it when I'm fucking it's always Christmas and now I'm now I'm a leading kratom researcher at the University of Florida and I've been granted funds from Nita at the direction of Congress I was like damn Nita I need a pussy I need a I need a pussy lit up so Santa Claus can find his way yeah like like that pussy I have my bitches clearly looking like a Roman candle when I'm done with yeah get super leaf comm slash come town is the where the place to go for this awesome product if you

love sex you'll love that you'll love get super leaf comm it's got take your kratom because you can there's so many okay follow up you with some details I think we will send the audience to get super leaf comm slash come town and that will activate the 20% discount look at that no promo go to the URL it's a URL need to confirm once we have that set up but if you say a promo code try it yeah just make sure you put come town in the mix get super leaf comm slash come town or you can email Adam and he'll send you the information email me Adam the little slut Adam at come downtown we already got it set up to

forward everything from my spam folder to his regular junior and everything from that mm-hmm yeah yeah 20% off super leaf and then they got so yeah super leaf comm and it's super speciosa is the name awesome yeah I love it because it's like it's got like a Latina name yeah but this shit's from like fucking Thailand oh really yeah it's like some Southeast Asian thing that's what crater miss yeah yeah see that's where you want to go but just because it's drugs it's got to be like cha cha cha cha cha cha cha chong yeah the cartel took it up here ladies pussy it should have been that like you know like cheech

smokes weed and Chong is addicted to opium yeah so Tommy Chong is Chinese yeah hey Tommy Tommy you I'm thinking about getting some tacos Tommy we take a nap or something man hey smoke smoke a little Tommy Tommy could play it man Tommy are you okay he's from he's from Edmonton go to hell we went to that beautiful city Thomas be Ken Chong didn't go away oh yeah oh yeah his mother oh is the Chinese guy down there with Michael Douglas Tommy Chong his father Tommy Tommy that's Tommy Chong your pussy is mine well in many ways the Marianas trench is like the world's his mother was Scot's Irish Canadian his

father was a Chinese Canadian your father immigrated in the 1930s guess you believe your father is your father is Chinese shall come that's his final move as he turns your dad Chinese son I love you dad no it's me don't you remember me every white person look the same I want I'm trying to play mahjong in basement oh Jesus Christ what oh he was in a band called Little Daddy and the bachelors and the thing soured when they went into Chong's went with Chong's suggestion and had themselves billed as four n words and a C that's my kind of music now you're speaking my right

Tommy Tommy goes so hard Tommy was going hard in the motherfucking paint slurred tally slurred tally slurred tally the four beeps and a beep huh Beeps and a beach was it four black guys in the Chinese yeah that's a cool band imagine being imagine being not even one of the ends yeah he's like fellas you'll love it it was the 1960s in Canada I wonder if they were using it more it was a lot more of a Tommy Chalm you have been cancelled finally how can't shout con should start cancelling people he should be the delivering the news is fired looks like he was a musician and

he had a small penis small penis your dick is small I can't get hard but I'm but I'm but I'm but I'm tiny penis dude have you guys seen the fucking trailer for the Immortal Combat no oh my god Tom the hostage coach is right yeah he's correcting and writing that one to him in what's your name the big bitch dude I can't wait I can't wait till I think I said gay I really do want to get just fucked up and go to the movies all the time that sounds awesome you'll see all that shit I might it might finally be time for me to get into the Marvel cinematic now here's the problem though my I have I haven't such a nice setup

that I don't as long as I have to wear a mask I don't think I want to go to the theater I miss it dude I miss getting the popcorn I miss it but you can't eat the fucking popcorn you got a mask on you probably won't sell concessions that's how they make their money if they can't sell concessions they're not gonna fucking but then you have to take your mask off to eat they don't want people doing that they want people doing whatever people that to make the money yeah I got bed bugs from the Union Square Regal twice I don't think that they're like they're gonna open and then it's fucking I better that you know what they should have

done is they should have secretly filmed Fast and the Furious 9 10 and 11 and have them ready to go I think the ones coming out in June yeah really yeah Fast and the Furious Juneteenth Brian I found out I'm free but I found out I'm finally free but yeah the new world combat looks fucking unbelievable bro where you go it's a rated R yeah it's your second piss of the time dude he's doing something even worse you're a fucking piece of shit you you left the show to blow your fucking nose are you out of your mind oh my god he's got Corona Adam's got a little ass fucking dick your dick is small but yeah I don't

know man I have a nice setup I got the big screen yeah I just got surround sound now I don't think I want man I got I got a nice setup here it's got surround that's part but I gotta say I gotta do a whole new surround setup next your couch is good but it's not great yeah it needs an ottoman needs an ottoman big the back seats always get they do yeah that was my fault the back for buying a nice couch you know what you should do and just get some fucking double-sided tape that's not a bad idea yeah it's not double velcro velcro it's the internal cushion gets mushed down it's not that even if you do the

velcro is on there it would still do this I think the velcro keep it no you could try it I don't know if I'm not using the couch it'll do my couch pillows used to slide out the seat part I got it there's no way velcro would hurt I velcro did and they don't move anymore I'm just gonna get a different couch when the time comes yeah try the velcro man just try the velcro maybe you love little well here's the problem you like little try the velcro you put it on here it's here there's no turning out there's no turning back there's no turning back yeah then when I go to sell the couch there's a bunch of velcro bullshit all

you're gonna sell it yeah it's a nice couch you know it's like a designer cat give it to your number one I got it on one of those like this you know we're like rich people throw out designer furniture and you can just get it for cheap I got I went to change this name it used to be called furnisher now it's like Kaio or something I bought a cash from what the fuck is it called room and board or some shit Metro something I don't know I went to a fancy fucking place in Chelsea was expensive it was expensive but it's worth it baby what two racks I don't remember off top my head you think two racks yeah maybe wow

honestly that I can catch like it's comfy staff we had an amber's place was that was a good couch I keep those like you got your solid but this they're not good for no it was comfortable they don't know what the fuck this is why I'm like always half off the couch yeah yeah yeah I'm telling you bro this couch I got is beautiful it's a nice what kind of sectional this section well it's it's got a shade you know I'm saying I know I like that I like it's I am so set up to chill and watch movies that I can't go to the movie theater she dreams dot com until I'm smoking cushy dreams dot com yeah just on your shed that's the other

problem I did you steal the cushy dreams pre-rolls from my house no I asked if I could have them I know yes and what did you take them as well I did okay and I love them and that's how much I love the product so interesting his definition of the words to you I know I literally said are you gonna smoke these can I have that oh yeah go for it you made it crumpley next week he's gonna accuse you of stealing it Adam no I just I meant I meant like snatch grab yeah you know real quick can I I did real quick because I love them which one oh that's what you do need that one yeah I need that in my office can I have your poster we got

I got some cushy dreams I got look here I got a tin right here it's good shit an eighth of cushy dreams piece which is extraordinary CBD rich hemp flower and the serving size is point two five can and it's total serving size the fuck and it says total CBD varies by strain okay so it doesn't even tell you how much so it has a serving size and it doesn't even tell you how much there is nothing like shouldn't vary by strange see there's nothing like cracking open a can of cushy dream of vacuum breaking the air seal it's like opening it up a thing of tennis ball on Instagram for more it's like opening up a big old push

information it's like an astronaut leaving going into spit and dreams cushy on Instagram wow for in this little qr code on here cushy dreams calm that's probably really awesome content over there and yeah that's definitely a must-follow yeah yeah cushy dreams that's a that's a they do a lot of black Twitter stuff so that's got that does smell good smell that oh yeah smells like weed smells like loud pack but here's the beautiful thing it smells like exotic it's not loud you can you can smoke this shit and you'll feel good you'll feel a nice little head high but you won't be a little you won't be

fucked up you probably shouldn't if he's coming through with the cushy dreams it's it's quiet for you actually I shouldn't do this this is not a type of pipe that you want to put you're smoking cushy out of a tobacco pipe yeah I'm actually not gonna do that you're crazy I'm not gonna do it because it will well if it's like if I know if you put like the resin from like fucking weed the adult gunk up one of these oh yeah real bad we know that because she's extra sticky and this is a this is a $6,000 putt yeah yeah yeah where'd you get it from monocle man yeah Jonathan Jonathan Topham off I want to do like a

like a show like mr. Belvedere but it's called mr. Topham off and it's like a British Butler where's a top hat and there's like a dad there's a stuffy dad that's kind of homophobic yeah and the butler's always like you know they hire him and the dad's like I don't know about this guy he's from Brittany might be like a homo and you know I'm homophobic and they're like he's just British or whatever he's always like shine your shoes up for you it's kind of visual bit but Nick shine my shoes but his head was in my car and the dad's always worried like this guy's gonna top me off and they're like it's just his name

mr. Topham he's just British he's a he's a Russian guy from Britain and then he so does mr. Topham off rape him and never he's just always like you know they're like what I think somebody's chair smells bad the dinner and that's episode two and all of these are the entire run of the show can be seen at cushy james.com it's actually sponsored content premium CBD topping 10 bear and it's they think that he's a gay bear top and what does he do does he smell cushy dreams he's most he loves and what is it what is it what is it that dad's afraid of getting fucked by him what are some of the strains of cushy dream you

got chill hustle relax fucking create create think visualized blast yeah bust sir you got circumcised circumcised I like circumcised it sounds like exercise mm-hmm you got mm-hmm the thing is I was like working out oh yeah you know I love that shit Wall Street secret is out all the top captains of industries and CEO or smoking cushy you're smoking because I'm Wall Street best saying cushy dreams is the next big to the moon they're saying it's they got hold the line yeah the next big stonk yeah my stonks and I'm holding my diamond my pre-rolls of cushy dreams and you know it's beautiful cushy dreams

they got the gram pre-rolls the whole gram joints but now now with their ultra premium silver motherfucking line or whatever the fucking yes they got half they got half gram joints those are my favorite now I'm not even kidding we've you know we're flipping here with the advertising but I'll say I'm a true consumer of these half gram joints they are my favorite they come in a little five-pack I smoke one of those in the evening when I'm trying to chill out I got a nice little buzz going I go right to bed I wake up the next morning refreshed they honestly I should start smoking those because they did actually

improve my life they're good and you know what I haven't smoked weed in like a couple months and it's really helped me out my I feel less foggy I don't snack as much that's what really fucks you just getting high as fuck and eating like a fucking extra dinner at 2 a.m. the other day I was in my car doing a blunt ride of cushy dreams that's awesome and I actually this is a true story it's happened on the way over here I'm listening police officer pulled me over get the fuck out of here and I blazed with him really blazed it down with me did he start breakdancing yeah he breakdanced and I said don't worry

officer this is totally legal it's cushy dreams it's cushy dreams why don't you get him with that promo code got him it's promo code come town yeah we're coming 20% it's for 20% off and you get 20% off for your next order your next order doesn't matter what number it is in fact keep buying them is that true exploit the exploit the system keep you using come town and get 20% off yeah go for it and smoke your CBD because you got it because you can because you can I'm saying fuck it I'm doing it I'll just ream the pipe afterwards if oh nice dude you're gonna rip some cush I love that for you dude right on the show what if

I get like I'm like scared I just can't handle my car can we finish the episode guys can we finish the last 20 minutes later I don't want to talk I'm scared I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay wow you're taking a heady rip off Nick is puffing the fucking dream this is like probably what it was like when Elon Musk was smoking weed experience yeah Nick's making that exact face yeah he's making that weird little fucking Nick is smoking like a boss right now like Elon would there's gonna be a spaceship and the plan is to use a spaceship to go to Mars yeah cool yeah wow that's that's

trippy fascinating yeah it's crazy man dude didn't they just have a fucking that's fascinating didn't you just have a thing explode they had a spaceship the spaceship exploded oh man yeah I want to say thanks for having me Joe why haven't they ever gone those two months together ever gets pussy it's over for us pussy getting guys remember how it used to be used to be able to get pussy everybody was getting pussy everybody was able to make fuck not anymore not anymore what do you think what do you think stopped that was it like Obama absolutely I think it was Obama I think everybody got scared when I got cancer

from eating pussy you think Michael Douglas single-handedly stopped went made pussy eating dip oh yeah he's scared I couldn't eat pussy for years after that yeah man I'll take a fucking puffer take a pull-off cuz she dreams I'll take a pull-off because he dreams with pipe what are we what are we smoking here what's this this piece that's what this show we're smoking the peace pipe yeah you know maybe they should do it a PIEC yeah like a gun piece of pussy yeah that's awesome how does it taste tastes delicious I don't know I'm driving after you actually drive your dick into my ass that shit is really nice it's

awesome yeah I'm literally gonna smoke a joint when I get home look honest I'm not even kidding my wind down is just a little mini can of dye Dr. Pepper yeah and a fucking joint of cushy dreams yeah that was a nice nice healthy rip off that piece might so get your chillums get your bongos yeah I used to love it I wanted to chill them so like a glass fancy chill them so bad yeah that's the one that's just a little straight to yeah yeah but it was like the Jam Band kids we're always yeah because that was professional fish kids that's that's to wheat that's to your instruments as the Saturday night special is to a gun you

know what I mean 38 yeah just you have it on your fucking ankle I wanted I wish I had a straight you're not for a show you're for I wish I had a little 38 like the kind like old cops used to wear when they dress like mailmen yeah yeah yeah I would listen what the hell are you doing in there you're doing crime I would love a lady come out with your penis out come out let me see your penis come out let me suck your penis cushy dreams dot com promo code come town for 20% off your penis dude what are they gonna get you know it's over right by the time they get big penis technology I'll be retired from the getting pussy dead but when are

they gonna make that happen it's about damn time you know how to say I did see some article about like the like I mean it's not new information but like nanotechnology to like eat tumors or whatever yeah and can they make that grow can honestly that dick it made me feel it may no I don't care about that shit I can't that that that that tempers and seasons me to have a broken garbage dick and to be like kind of I need I want to keep all my flaws I just don't want cancer stop would you if science was able not saying grow your penis bigger but to grow a second beautiful or even better to make

everyone else's dick smaller you take pills that to you just tastes like sour patch kids oh it's candy too yeah I mean yeah I would do that wait but what if you grew a second penis that really just professor X in that room smaller this mind but it's all the fucking monitors are just guys in bathrooms just freaking out yeah so wait I'm so we're alternatively Neo from the Matrix either one yeah yeah with the thing plug where's the actually where's the new dick growing it's right next to your regular to the right to the left and it really puts your regular dick to shame but you're gonna have to get it

chopped off just give me more fees and we'll give you whatever you want I want to have a big dick when I come back I want I could be homeless but I want my dick to be fucking big do you remember there's that reddit Emma with a guy with two penises come on stop what I'm gonna cut your hands off dude why you knew what you were doing when you said it that way why do you say why you do shit like they do say why honestly that pisses me off so much you know what that means form a cup of the mineral spirit stop we just smoked peace I know what you ruined it don't put it on me no you said I'm a motherfucker it's AMA

everyone knows that people say Emma no one says that honestly it is crazy how the smokable CBD actually does work it does yeah I feel chill I feel great I feel yeah like I'm when I take a whole little joint to the face I basically feel hot come in yet you don't feel like it's none of it's being high without any of the like great well now my brain just doesn't work for an hour yes yes which is a bad part of being hot figure out like how to turn the light on yeah I like do I have all right it's a motion sense but yes Adam to answer your very annoyingly asked question the content was worth with discussion yes I do

remember that AMA with a guy that had two cocks and they were pretty big but they found that that was a fraud they caught him because he was just he was photoshopped I believed he's photoshopped again you don't molder didn't get caught because he kept making his two dicks bigger it was too dickerous situation too dicker I didn't know that that sucks dude I feel I ruined my my I'm not my I lied to because it was college but you yeah you remember when you found out Santa Claus dick wasn't actually big yeah that was crushing that was using a dildo that whole time yeah it's sort of saying it

doesn't cry situation exactly well I can't believe that guy was a fraud I remember also he said that he because he had two penises he was he used it to fuck men and women yeah that I remember the guy was by that kind of shit should have like tipped you off yeah I guess that's if you had two dicks he would do that yeah you know you know he has one dick and he does yeah that's what I'm saying yeah so it doesn't change but that's what I mean if he had two digs that's how he didn't have no dick so he would do that's my fucking point no matter how many digs you're high right no I'm making sense high I'm making

fucking high off cushy let me hit you with this about wheat things all right I'm listening how do you feel about it I always like I love them I love the way they kind of turn into like a clay texture texture in your mouth when they're like I also like to feel like a sculptor you know like Michelangelo like I spit that shit out and it's big let me show you a beautiful man with a baby spines I gotta say I prefer Triskets Triskets are better okay that's fair but there's a wild there's a wild world of crackers I'm with you I just had to say if I was like how do you feel about Fig Newton's gonna be like they're pretty

good you'll be like Oreos are better it's like well no shit you know but you know what though they occupy different for a place in my head the Nabisco product where is it a certain point I wouldn't even necessarily and this this is a crazy take I understand a lot of people with the Nabisco logo by the way they mean what are the laziest logos of like yeah it's like a fucking corner and there's a circle and it's like it's dog shit we should go into branding it looks like it looks like somebody's like oh yeah this community college graphic design homework yeah it's bad what's over the intent let me see it let me see it

again why they draw the fucking assholes certainly no cushy dreams but I will say this wait the dark truth behind the design of Oreo cookies fuck it's it's Chris Delea's family crest the deal the bit Nabisco stands for Nab the kids let's go it's the cross of Lorraine from the Crusades okay that makes sense Nabisco logo yeah what that's Christian I can't believe I'm well now I'm glad the Nazis took that I can't believe I've been giving my children that Christian yeah this is according to spoonuniversity.com a very real ass sounding didn't you go there stop I think you did I think that's how you you

got promoted to captain you're all my mother I graduated wears magnums comes loudly at spoon University yeah God spoon you really all the pudding you could ever all the butterscotch pudding get ever asked for this guy was getting so much pussy at Spoon yeah yeah I got pussy one at a time exactly I'm gonna go to like a big national forest that sounds cool and eat you know like one of the big pine trees Sequoias yeah go to California I've never been over those and then have like climb to the top of mountain and I open up I get up there and I've like catch my breath and I look out and then from my fanny pack I pull

out Fig Newton's and a Capri song yeah I got a pack of natural spirits in there and just fucking get smoking cigarettes and eating Fig Newton's okay so the point I was trying to make is Fig Newton's I would say sometimes in my life are better than Oreos when I was a kid I thought they were for retarded kids no I thought they were for grown-ups no I thought I literally I love Fig Newton's too but I would eat them and I'm like is it isn't this for like retarded I thought they were mature style no I thought I honestly here's how stupid I was I thought they were like toned down cookies so retarded kids

wouldn't go to crazy wild literally their poo right yeah I thought they were like safety cookies so there was like a cookie as a retarget handle they wouldn't I swear to God those are like nilla waivers I thought they were like fucking like you know let's let's let's put a governor on them to make sure they yeah yeah wow we cuz now we can you imagine one of these guys get their hands on a fucking like you know like double chocolate chips ahoy or something they'd have a an old fashion prison right in every fucking safety stage and break out right

chaos right and sell block purple they'd have to shoot them the guards that have no choice yeah just trinket on them fuck oh baby that's awesome baby cuz I'm gay cuz I'm gay I just want oh damn now I want like a big pepperoni pizza sounds so I haven't had pepperoni pizza in forever did sometimes it and whenever I get whenever I get a pizza you just I just go cheese or I do something fancy yeah I go order from niece yeah I'll get like the chev yeah or like goat she's back the Montagnard that's back yeah and those are always nice but sometimes just a plain old

fashion pepperoni with crispy ass pepperon I'll have the meravingian yeah the like the like just lost a baseball game pizza oh yeah damn pizza hut after a fucking it's a hot after a hard day of fucking playing soccer at rose deal pizza hut pet stuff crust cheese pepperoni that's what I want you know I was so pissed when I got stuff couple a couple of fucking spirits fuck with stuff crusts blasts with it no it's not good it's not good you're right it breaks your heart it's not it's honestly not in theory it's the best thing the commercial but I like that the stretch of never stretch in the commercial is so

beautiful I like I like the weight it adds to the handle of the pizza I'm with you on that I'm with you I'm saying it's a better grip and I still believe it's like having like a Desert Eagle grip on it like a nine millimeter I'm with you there brother yeah it's like I want what I want is pizza with a crust of custom engraved handle yes gold-plated crust yeah sure oh fuck so as the fuck was that shit where they're cutting the crust off bread for children yeah what kind of dipped head like like indulgent parents yeah exactly I was not raised that's not I understand not eating the crust of pizza you're wrong

to not I don't understand that at all I understand crust off bread way more than I understand crust well here's the thing crust the crust on the pizza is so far removed from the rest of what the pizza is that it's a breadstick so I can understand liking pizza but not wanting the breadstick aspect because you're just a child you don't know any better I suppose your palate isn't like I suppose but the crust is a more it's the end of the sandwich yeah presumably there's fucking still I would say the same applies to what you just said about no no no no no because there's still it's not as different there's toppings in

the middle but it's a marked difference from the rest of the no it's just as a brown part and it's harder and it's not as fluffy not as hard I mean it's not harder look it is hard go get a fucking piece of wonder break go get a piece of potato bread and sit that's this is what I'm talking about here's what I'll do when I'm talking about right you've seen I know what you're talking about and the parents that would do it for their kids were bad parents I don't agree with either of you there were bad I here's what I did even if you're cutting over indulgent even if you're cutting the sandwich for the child this is my child

will have the sandwich that they're you know cutting it is absolutely cutting it's great my child is getting a diagonal you're getting you're getting a full jar of peanut butter and jelly and then the loaf of bread in your lunch bag and you said you got to make this last month lunch can I say something crazy to you guys and you'll probably get mad at this you love having sex with women yeah no you're not allowed to say it you can go ahead peanut butter and jelly sandwich shut the fuck up right now you're right Nick I'm sorry he's gonna say they're bad they might be my favorite sweet oh

okay that is that is stupid that is stupid but it's not bad they're bad your favorite sweet when was the last ice cream a fucking piece of cake I might prefer you know you don't last time you had a peanut butter and jelly such a fucking bullshit a week ago I'm gonna break your what kind of what kind of fucking late at night what kind of jam what kind of peanut butter I had you know the nice jam with the red and white cap the strawberry the picnic shit raspberry yeah yeah that's the good jelly I mean my man my rich people me and my Estonian sweet wife are going on yeah the picnic was it raspberry no

was it was a four berry it was a mixture and what kind of butter I had that with Costco peanut butter sweetened or unsweetened unsweetened but listen listen you're gonna say a fucking sandwich with unsweetened peanut butter is your favorite sweet you fucking prick get his that's not even a fucking sweet dick head listen oh my god two of the three elements are not sweet here man is a god damn it if you had sugar yeah if you had some jiff I'd at least listen you're wrong but I'd listen to you hear me out that chalky fucking Costco peanut butter is a is a main ingredient in your favorite sweet hear me out get the fuck

out of here here yeah I don't think I can let's go ahead let's just let's fix this but I'm taking that as a jumping point no peanut butter and sandwich peanut butter jelly sandwich if we're absolutely right we're not letting you put peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then you throw bacon and bananas in there also that's what I was gonna say and I put I put sliced by the record show honey no I put honey and sliced bananas honey now we're talking and it was it was like it was like 1245 in the evening I was hungry I was trying to fall asleep but I was too hungry to fall asleep you know the vibe listen a night

PBJ is one of my and I toasted the bread so now you're losing everything got runny you're losing no no no no it had a night it's a fucking cold sandwich you don't post a fucking PBJ no it had a crutch the crutch back get out of here get the fuck out of here the only way I poured a glass a sweet almond milk it was delicious there's no fucking creaminess to almond milk and I don't you need a fucking cold you're gonna dunk a hot sandwich in almond milk you fucking you should die crunchy you got to just put you put the bacon strips in the convection oven all your crunch from the bacon the if you're gonna make it a

sweet it's got to have cake like consistency the bread's got to be white it's got to be soft okay okay it can't be crunchy fucking multi-grain bread like I know you had no like I know you fucking you're just eating a bird's god damn you fucking piss me off I didn't have like I didn't have 15 grain like yeah you definitely did bird see you had fucking you ate a you ate a you ate a merkin with fucking expired jelly I used okay I used sourdough bread all right that's fine and I toasted it toasting it's a very very lightly maybe maybe but if you're telling me you toasted to the point where the shit is

running you've lost me and you've lost the elements that make it potentially a sweet to make it a sweet it's got to be close to a fucking cake sweet so you know this about me so then don't fucking come into the dojo then motherfucker stay out there stay out there with your fucking multi grains and your fucking seeds I wasn't doing fucking vinaigrette's and shit okay I didn't put a vinaigrette in there fucking 80 but I do my favorite sweet is a fucking is a Costco you know my favorite type of pussy is actually a bit of a hat fuck you were fucking asshole Adam yeah I mean peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

are good they're awesome but you know what I you know you know the best would be like something like potato bread but it's half cheesecake I don't know how you would get there but if you could make those like a like a bread that's got like sort of like it's somewhere between potato bread in New York cheese cake where you can hold it and it's not gonna fuck up your like it's shit all over your hands but it's a rich and it's cold yeah and then peanut butter jelly is so big I have this and you warming it up I have a sandwich idea that I will not banana bacon because I think that there's a 75% chance it will make me a multi-millionaire

all right let's end this episode because I need to hear about the sandwich okay I need to know exactly what the sandwiches if you want to hear about the sandwich go to come dot town and buy what you dare tell anyone and buy a shirt and I in the shirt will be the recipe it's a modified sandwich okay come dot town also I was getting already walking back here which concept the shirts will be some shirts will be phased out beginning next month last chance to get those probably the Andres steakhouse shirt no very rare no it's very rare no it's been that that's a joke from four years ago no I'm saying get him while there's while

there's still a yeah with supplies that one's going the maybe the Thousand Islands stair that will be wow and probably a couple others will be cut out of the rotation and the venera so if you want them check them out now because once that stocks gone that's it that's right um I think I probably will have some merch up on stop me that bit soon patreon dot com come town yeah we're double the episodes and all the good shit five bucks also to hear it to hear the rest of the sandwich don't million dollar sandwich we'll be editing into do not put that and you know what you can expect an in-depth discussion about how

hot Lola bunny used to be on this week's patreon yeah we wish that's a good a patreon dot com slash I fucked her come down at six well Michael