The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 252 – cholos for cancer

Episode Date: March 24, 2021

were out here raising money for the homies that got feucked up

we just we recently did a test on your asshole turns out that you you enjoy you know how about like you know they do like the buttercup flower he's just rubbing that on someone's asshole and being like oh it looks like he's gay turn yellow what happens with the buttercup you were a buttercup Adam you want to take it away it's is it the one that gets pollen on you you look like you wanted to chime in no I don't know actually what you're talking about but I assume the yellow stuff is pollen buttercup rub it underneath your chin and if it turns yellow late you like butter oh hell yeah yeah this is it does it

happen for everybody yes well it's the one of those old wives that's part of the trick interesting what's up with these damn old wives you know they just buzz your damn tail old women sitting around a table going I heard Adam Friedland is no they don't say that they don't say that and then actually and then some new wives come in they're like we heard that too that's an old wife and they're like oh and then some medium-aged wives come in I was at Wegman's a week ago and Adam Friedland was sucking cock in the parking lot at the at the Navy Yard Wegmans that's quite a tail is that a is that a fact at the Navy while it's one

of many I have and I'm a man that's not a wife to anyone and I also know that honestly only old wives would say that everyone else would I have my his doctor on the phone not again doctor Mark Sloan it's true oh wow I don't know your doctor was the big fan takes care of trying to solve a murder yeah trying to solve a murder at the nursing home seems that no one was in the room with her at the time but her heart exploded yes and so they think maybe she was poisoned doc I finally got the evidence back it turns out Adam Friedland was sucking cock in the parking lot that lady that was her son that she found out he was gay and

she had a heart attack and died she fucking died cuz Adam Friedland sucked his cock yeah someone's old bowl of fruit if you know what I mean a big old chiquita basket hey guys listen you're gonna want to watch diagnosis murder to be listening to the show we're gonna get to this new show because we will be watching it every time before the regular episode yeah a box of raisins where his fucking brains is supposed to be and then we're making them do gay shit wow that is a good if you're if you're gay doctor Mark Sloan came by early it turns out either this grandson was a homo and that's why she died but you'll

never guess who's cock who was sucking his cock was it Adam yes yes Adam fumbled the entire football team into his ass you know when a football team fumbles and the whole everyone on the field kind of piles on trying to pretend they got the ball that's what an entire football team did to Adam's ass they made it extra gay by doing a two-inch conversion where they gave him a reason I have a two-inch conversion they gave him the reach around and they converted his dick into a clip they flipped it like a clip if anyone like you would they kind of flicked it

up and down instead of jacking him off it wasn't big enough is that what happened you had him who fumbled it now you're gonna come into this nursing home young man and try to say the tails are wrong I'm sick of these damn old wives well we as we noted it's also young wives oh Janice I forgot to tell you last week I took a flight to Las Vegas and there was a young man on the plane and he was letting everyone shoot in his mouth and that boy's name was Adam Friedman were you really doing that Adam no but it is yes it sounds like he was doing it the whole flight sounds like

it sounds like the jet way the jet way wasn't working so Adam bravely volunteered they pulled the plane into his ass and we all shoot it down we all walked through his mouth into the airport so he parachuted down to allow the plane to somewhere to land no we was taxing I was taxing I hate when they say taxing why because you sucked cock in a taxi because taxi is a driving taxi isn't as when he hangs out on the east side of Central Park at night and ask strange men if they want to split a cab dangerous in Central Park everyone serves to be it's like cruising but you do it outside the park and gets to save

money he's saving money which is true wives tales aren't true that's the point of them no that's that I'm talking about a group of old women that always tell that are very old truth in the nursing home talking about you the truth in there anyway was I oh right the plane went in the door walk through his ass now I'm confused because obviously his ass is big enough to fit a point yes for sure but I didn't realize his mouth was too that's because the people on the plane you've been fucked so thoroughly I see they caught spit rose his whole body look like an old condom nice yeah that's awesome

boneless and limp only takes form when a cock is inside of him yes it's like one of those waving guys yeah you ever seen a muppet without we just like on the Kermit on the floor yeah it's fucked up it's sad that's you got a dickie I was I was looking I was actually in the market I was going to buy a Prius right to get around to two around town and I found one and I went to car fax and I had you have to put the vn in and so I was copying pasting the vn over but I had probably previous to that I copies Adam's name for some reason right okay I suddenly pasted that into car fax and I said he was a fax website you're getting

the car fax happen to also have the Adam's safe I had any accidents or anything miles it said hundreds of millions of guys every every every black fraternity chapter in the country black oh my goodness I find that's how you actually get the intensity the intensity in ten cities store Ted Nugent wow see I thought you were gonna copy and paste his name into the car fax they was gonna say he's suck the guy's cock in every car in the world that also that would be at least auto early no he was getting the the fax on Adam yeah through the web you put anyone's name in that I call them the Cape Town King of Road

head and proud descendant of the tube wasn't the tube hog of Cape Town my grandmother recently celebrated her 90th birthday just imagine zooming into something like 90-year-old woman's birthday she's like out of her mind yeah and she just starts like reminiscing on all the cock she's yeah that's gonna happen dude when I'm old so many times are you kidding me dude when I'm on my deathbed I'm gonna be thinking of yes my like family but 50% that shit 50% like the best hits I ever sucked yeah yeah that's one of my favorite activities just sitting on a porch thinking about some nice breasts that have been in my mouth

yeah I like that that's better than fucking honestly is the corn cob pipe that sounds awesome oh for me honestly it's with mm-hmm I don't know in about and then just about 15 minutes I can say what you think about Boston I'm like just the Lord who is that Jesse may Jesse may the you know she works around the property of your old age he said works she works well slaves work they're just not paid I don't know why you assume she's a slave and he talks to you're bringing some fucked up racism will bring Nick has an antebellum style fantasy about his future

I don't know anything about it except somebody named Jesse man Jesse man and he's smoking a corn cob pipe on it and say where it is thinking about the Lord he said the Lord which is the fake answer for I don't know I think that that kind of elicited nice pair of tits it is nice a nice old pair fucking can we have speak now isn't it be of diagnosis murder we saw a nice pair of old lady to we did we did I episode 3 the episode Dom Delouise that we just watched that's right I'm so glad I got this job and trying to sell people on you're absolutely correct bro honestly why possibly the worst television you've

been talking about it and I was like this doesn't sound that good but then seeing it I'm like this is really good I've never seen in my life fuck what was that lady with the big tits name that redhead she was on the love boat Barbara Rhodes we looked you couldn't see her tits they don't if you search Barbara Rhodes nude nothing comes up but she could absolutely get a fucking prick a dell in her in her honestly in her old age to oh by the way I saw a picture of your penis earlier and I was hoping I could jack off to it and then if you search Barbara Barbara Rhodes nude you don't see her but you do see some

incredible big-ass conical breasts from let's see what this lady's name is and you guys can just look her up what was the reason it's December 1968 whoever that is good God Almighty from Playboy I would honestly shoot Adam in the head to be able to fuck this woman she's probably done stuff well the one in the picture um Cynthia what was the reason for the conical breasts I don't care and I was at that is that they're not bras were that shape and then it molded women's breasts to be that shape when you took the bra I want them back if that's the case you don't see those you really don't you know that's an old style

of breath you really don't and I'm kind of pissed off I haven't seen a conical titty in my time I would like to see a funnel shaped it yeah well you know what Adam you you're pissing me off why about how much you like tits okay why I'm on my corner I'm the guy who likes your corner I'm on the titty corner I'm a guy dude I'm a fellow like any other fellow I wanted to see breasts I've never wanted to see breasts not really all right back the ridiculous conversation back me up yeah whatever he said is the thing thank you you've never been that big of a fan of big ass titties and you know it never I've fallen you fucking

know it I've fallen in love and out of love you know I was at the the animal shop stop it I'm sick of these damn old wives you don't even know what he's gonna say and there was a woman this is rude there was a woman there with the biggest tits I've ever seen and even I got horny I'm some old cunt I'm just some old dumb bitch and Adam came in and everyone was hooting and hollering this lady with a big tits and we were spraying Mountain Dew all over at the bush we give comes out of him and what does he do and he started throwing my my kale Mandarin orange big lunch that I had one leaf of kale it's

nice putting it's nice putting Mandarin oranges in a salad my for me and my girlfriend made lunch today it's it's it's fucking it's french fries made out of dust and old daddy long legs boiled soy sauce daddy long at least I have a girlfriend that's the main point I know he doesn't he was lying lying and then he's so he says I somebody needs to help me get all these bugs back into my stomach that I ate and and also there's a giant boa constrictor in my ass and there's a bunch I bogus return his ass and he threw up from seeing the big tits and how did he get the lunch back in his stomach a man with a large penis put

all the vomit on his dick he said we're on me I don't mean to step out here but he's having a talk like that. I'm the janitor I'm the same size as my cock. So if we want to put it back into your stomach the most efficient way is to lube up my cock with all your nasty ass lunch and then I fuck it back into your mouth and ass. And his ass. Hit it from both sides. You said I got it back into my stomach and well from the ass and from the mouth and with enough force and you know what happened yeah that man worked so hard that he had a heart attack and he died. Well Adam has caused the death of two people. That's the grandma whose heart

exploded off of a man. It is disgusting and you didn't you did it. Why are you saying it like it's something like Nick is made up. Listen you call the old woman alive. I'm not even here. It's that old lady. I was fucking out. They went to the bathroom. This old woman is now hanging out in his own parking lot. That's right. Trying to get a job. That's right. So what some of us has to afford the equipment for this show. Yeah. A lot of people don't realize this but the Patreon money basically every month has to go to new gear. Well and reconstructive surgery for Adam's asshole. That's true. All of that. Yeah. We just getting the slack back. Pay royalties to those women in the

nursing home. The truth tellers. That's right. The truth teller. The lone gun gunman. Yeah. I don't like those ladies. I like them. I think they're really cool. You know last week my grandson he showed me how to hack into Adam's back. Why wouldn't you believe if there's been a daily Venmo payment to a man named Bruno. How much. $80. $80. What. Do they caption it. Yes. There's always the winking and then the eggplant emoji. So what am I paying. What am I paying. Of the the the it's always the bride emoji and then an eggplant and then the black police officer and then five spaces and then the binoculars and a smiling nerd. It's not nice. That's not true. Every day. $80 for that. It's not

true. That's interesting because I'm just kind of parsing the tea leaves here. It seems like we've added a whole new dimension to get who's been very gay so far in your old truth tellings. Yeah. Now he appears to be a cuckold as well. That's very he's this is a very dynamic guy. You don't believe we're friends for how long. You know what Adam you don't know people sometimes. You know you don't really know everything. You know what they're in her lives. You don't really. I tell you all you know all of my inner well that could be too. That could be a little bit of you kind of throwing us off the scent red herring stuff. You say to hide. You're really gay. You want to watch your girlfriend

who's dressed as a police officer is a police officer. It's not exactly clear. But no member of the force would be engaging in prostitution. That's all. It's very implausible and for it's not that much money really for sex work. Yeah. But it adds up. It's like fifty thousand dollars a year. Yeah. Every day. Every day. I guess. That's a lot of labor. You know it is. And you know he could get in real trouble with the force. For you telling tales out of school like this. I'm a sex worker. He said how you met Bruno. You're like I like the way you work that tool. I got an idea for it actually. I'm just a jammer. What size pants are you. I'm not as a police officer. The specializes in brides. He was studying

for his detectives. It's a bit of a nerd emotion. You know the nerd. You send it to Bruno every day. The nerd smiley recedes. It's your free. We heard the old ladies. I hacked into your bank account. I only do private transit. If this stuff is making you horny you can check out bluetooth.com. Yes you can. Bluetooth.com is the simple mail enhancement solution for guys whose dick don't work. Who's the guy whose dicks are soft as fuck. We're talking some primo medication delivered directly to your door in discreet packaging. Yes. All right. None of this. It's a little brown envelope. Could be anything. I think you're some sort of spy. It could be drugs. It could be a bill from the fucking nursing home. That's right.

You know where your mom is telling true stories. Telling true stories about certain podcasters. Bluetooth.com is a website that sells pills. We've been instructed. They sell chewables. They sell chewables. You've been instructed not to chew them but you don't take a blue chew by the way. You don't take a blue chew. You chew. You chew on it the way Adam chews on his upper lip in ecstasy when a man fucks his ass. I guess bottom lip. Bottom lip is more natural. Yeah it is bottom. That's how you chew the blue chew. Just like that. Yeah. I want some. I want to boot you to go to boot you dot com. There are two different types of boots here. There's Saladin of Phyllin to Dallas which are the generic no you're not

allowed to say that. Oh you're not. No. Yeah. That was one of the there was a bunch of shit there like you can't say. OK. Well we're not. Well we don't know what's in it. We don't know what it makes your dick hard but it gets you real hard. You. I don't think we're allowed to say that either. You can't say it gets your dick hard. I think that's the only thing you're allowed to say actually. Something you're not allowed to say. You can use it to fucking ape if you want. You we can say that. We can say that explicitly said that. Yeah they said you're allowed to use it to fuck animals. Really. That's what they they said to a very lengthy email about what we're allowed to say. I'm still pulling up. One of them

was that you're allowed to fuck animals off the top of my head. I think that was one of the things. OK. So I use it to have sex with women personally. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Say it with us. Blue Chew at which. Blue Chew. Blue Chew. At home. If you're listening to this podcast say Blue. Say Blue Chew with us. On three. One two three. Blue Chew. You know how many fucking losers really just did it. Yeah. I know. So embarrassing for them. If you just said it. You fucking kill yourself. We would never hang out with you at home. I said Blue Chew with them. That's right Adam. You are gay. Adams the gay one. Wow. You're just like one of the fellas. Shut up Adam. Sorry. Say with us on three shut

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pathetic. Dude does. Oh my god. They can't even get there. I went to the fawnies the other day and there were like three old Italian guys having like just the wildest conversation they covered every topic. Cuomo transgender stuff. Racism. Yeah. That's awesome. And in like a five minute you know window. Yeah. But one of them is going off. He's like it's stand at high school. They got a high school and stand on. They got a transgender day. Were you sure you won't be a girl that day. All yours pal show up in a fucking dress. They do it. They got a transvestite teaching a transgender class to fucking fourth graders. I mean it's like it's not an island high school. Yeah. And then what you know they're

arguing. One of them's so old and so Italian that everything he says is just like air escaping a stoma. Yeah. Yeah. One of those. What are you talking about. This guy. What is it. What are you fucking doing. Are they holding it down. This guy know you. They are like Cuomo fellow. One of them says like I don't like the guy but I'm tell you right now what's happening is wrong. The best thing there is. Every fucking one. And but the one is like the one point the guys like one because I don't care what it is you peace standing up your guy. That's all you sit down you're a girl you want to piss in down then you could be a girl and it's like they probably do that. Yeah. Yeah. I do it half the time. I like

the pit. I like to have to put my dick in the water and then piss under the water. Wow. You know. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. A little CMOS incognito. Yeah. So no one knows no one can hear in space. No one can hear your string. You piss. Yeah. And then and then halfway through when it was like really getting hot one of them's like well how about this. Let's talk college basketball for a second. Oh yeah. March Madness. Who do they have to Loyola of Chicago. Yeah. Are they still in it. Chef Boyola. They have a fat guy. Shots out to fucking sister Jean. What is she doing. She's still alive bro. You don't remember sister Jean. How old is she. She's about she's like ninety nine now or some shit.

She's rooting for the boys. Yeah. She's there. She's you don't remember this. I don't pay attention to boys basketball dude. Shut the fuck. I don't know. Sister Jean was a fucking was a powerhouse or tour de force and she's back. She was at the tournament. She's been there before cheering. I think I've seen pics of it before. Yeah. You better have. Yeah. I looked at pics of that. Anyway. Not only that but tomorrow is what Greek independence day. Okay. Okay. Oh. So good babe. Louise Noillé. And you clean up, suck at the end of this out of the baby's eyes, and you eat your own little man, and he'll smack the baby up a bit before you leave.

No, you don't. Just to put a little extra sting on it. No, that's not the Greek national anthem. I just want to say shout out to the whole fucking team. Suck my dick, the Ottoman Empire. You fucking motherfuckers. Yeah, Empire. Fuck you.

You're on our shit list. Fuck the soul. The Empire. The group of fags. Amen. On this day, amen, brother, imagine an entire country filled with fags, a place called the Turkish zone. Why are you making me sit on the Ottoman right now as a fuck it to show them that's a sign

for the Turks. Even Jews are sit on you. Oh, that's right. Even Jews rank above you, Turks. Yeah, that's right. Take that. Yeah, and if you haven't heard at home, I've graduated from the box to the Ottoman. Imagine a week.

Adam now has an Ottoman Nick has given me an Ottoman to sit on. Imagine a which is really just a box with I'm getting the chair a little bit of a cushion. I got to throw out that coffee table and then I'm going to throw out this thing here. That the table mate. Yeah. That's nice. A little. No, not this.

The TV thing. Oh, really? Or just like just mounted on the wall. Yeah, I want any more. It's nice. I might I might just like I don't want to like to cut this thing to like push it all the way against the wall so it forms against the baseboards would be the effort that went into making the front of it look nice. It would look like retarded if I were to do that.

So I might just build something different so that there's like a ledge there for the TV. You can just mount the TV. No, because that's a that's like plaster on masonry or something. Interesting. I'm going to tear all that up. I don't really want to get it. You're dick is small.

No worries. And it wasn't. The reason he couldn't do it is because his dick was small. We're not going to say his dick isn't small, but that's not the reason. And it's sort of a roundabout logic. It's it's true. It happened to be. And it wasn't because of it.

I just want to say, man, the fucking Greek independence motherfuckers, those guys rock. There was a who is like you're like Paul Revere. Paul Revere. All he did was say the British were coming. Oh, like who is your big independence? There's a couple guys. There's a couple good ones. There's Colocotroni, right?

These guys, by the way, have incredible mustaches. You know, he was just a leader of the of the revolution against the fucking Turks. He was a group of a member of a group called the cleftes. The cleft lips. No, they didn't have cleft lips. They had it. It's like clefts. They were they were thieves.

They would steal from the Ottomans. They the fucking Turks came in. Really? Yeah, the Turks came in and they said fuck that. We're not living in your little fucking Turkish zone. We're going to the mountains to get pussy and live free. Uh huh. Okay.

They they never submitted them history rocks. I love just sitting around imagining history because reading about it. I don't like but I'll just like think about like sick ass battles. Well, here's the best part and emperors. And just sometimes I'll just like study history, but in my mind. Yeah, dude, I absolutely. I'm here's the best part about the cleftes, right? Not only did they not tell the fucking Ottoman didn't submit to the Ottomans ever,

but because they were in the mountains and they never wanted them to know where they were the fraud. The fraud amends. Exactly. Look up. Look up. This is who it started by the Turks. They developed a new way to cook a lamb by shoving it in your ass.

No, they smoked it. They Greek people weren't really smoking shit. They didn't want to do it over an open fire. So they just fucking covered it. Smoked that bitch. Slow roasted it. Cleftico style lamb is delicious. So that's I saw Adam doing a cleftico style dick socket.

He praised it slowly in his mouth. I was at Hudson News and Adam was sucking off the the Bengalese man who worked with the Dunk of Donuts. Low and slow. For hours over a campfire. And he was like, son, why are you doing this to me? Like Adam said, I'm trying to prove to a different coffee shop that I'm not racist. So I picked the most high traffic Bengalese coffee shop, the Hudson News and Penn Station.

So I say Adam is here to confirm. Thank you, Adam, for proving the story to be real. Yeah, by confirming the details as I tell the story. You know, I like the details. Yeah. Have you ever seen that place? There's a place in Penn Station that's like a fucking like Steve Harvey suit kind of depot. It's called Ty Coon. I love that.

And I think about that every single time. We should go get crazy that that's allowed. I mean it is wild. Ty Coon. Ty T. I. E. C. O. O. N. Wild. Yeah. We should go.

It's like not strong enough of a pun. That's probably like the only day at work you ever talk about in the 20 years you worked at like the Department of Businesses or whatever. Albany, the fucking Secretary of State. You just do all the LLC filings and it's all just like Johnson's cleaning service. Yeah. And then fucking like an Esquire you wary for gentlemen. The name Ty Coon LLC.

Yeah. You're like I'm having a stroke. I'm sorry. This kids up. Martha, can you read this? Am I seeing this correctly? Can somebody come in here and read this for me before I started hooting and hollering and calling all of my racist friends?

I'm about to send this to Mike Racine. Can someone take a look at this before I embarrass myself before jumping the gun? This isn't Photoshop, right? It's real. This is a real thing. My friend Jordan, I remember he was telling me about there was this idiot Chris we knew back in the day and it was like fucking I think I told this or it was like late 2007 and he was driving by somebody behind somebody with an Obama bumper sticker and he was like

yo look at this. There's some guy running named Bama. It's like you don't know who Barack Obama. It's 2007. I forgot about that term Bama. Yeah. People in DC said that a lot. That's true.

Look at this Bama. It means country. Yeah. It means country. I'm going down down baby. Starting his own like social media platform. Oh hell yeah. I hope it comes with like snacks.

What is it? What's it called? It should be something like Twitter but then you also get like. I hope it's super successful. Is it called Trumpler? There's also like shrimp cocktail and crudité. I'm not a crudité type guy. Why?

Then you got that's all dips. It's all about the dips dude. It's all about the vegetables. No thank you. What do you mean? I don't. I mean I like dips but vegetables suck. What kind of dips?

Like ranch? I'm saying a crudité tray is made by the dips. Honey mustard. What kind of dips? Tell me a dip. I mean you could have a hummus out of here. What? Fuck you.

That's why. Hummus on a fucking celery stick? That's supposed to be good. Man because you're telling me crudité is good and it's bad. Yeah but you can't just curse. And even ranch give me fucking buffalo wings. Not ranch dude. The blue cheese.

Oh you know we should get oh you can't you run a diet fuck. I was going to say we should get wings after this. I would love to get wings. There's a place in Queens. I have to go home and eat fucking mushrooms and fucking 30 grams of rice. We did not say we. Beaning three. It was not three.

Well I can't go anyway. I said we. Can't go. I did not say thrice the us. The show. Commence. Shout out to the wings. Shout out to Queens for whatever bullshit fucking fake wings you're going to suggest.

Yeah we're. Brian. Brian. Brian took me to this place. Oh so you're copying Brian. That is incredible. What's it called? It's called Breedies.

And now you're insulting. You're insulting Brian. Where on the show by associating yourself. Honestly at first I didn't want to blow it up. But now I want to help these people's business wearing Queens. I'll look it up right now. Like roughly. I'll look it up dude.

I. Queens all looks the same. Astoria. The copiers. Gambit. Forest Hills. It's like it's something. Long Island.

It's my favorite restaurant. What's it called? Rego Park. Rego Park on Woodhaven Boulevard. Okay. Yeah. Breedies. It has like a tutor exterior.

It's pretty cool. Rego Park was actually in the 19th with that neighbor. I was all like it looks like this. And then the place. Nice. Yeah. Oh yeah. I think I've read it.

Rego Park. It was like a breeze. Is that where everybody nuts in your ass? No. Let me get to this. Yeah. Rego Park. Yeah.

It's like an empty field in the 1920s. A bunch of immigrants came over and they built the whole town out of Legos. That's what Rego Park came in. Interesting. Hashtag stop Asian hate guys. If not stopping it, at least taking it down a notch. That's right. No more mass shootings.

Let's just get it back to the LR stuff. Let's. Yeah. Yes. Let's stop the violence. We got to crank the Asian anti Asian violence from 11 back to four back to a reasonable two and a half. Two and a half is fine.

Yeah. Just a nice too much. Kind of the volume you'd listen to like, you know, like soft rock at. Yeah. Elevator music. Elevator music kind of volume. We just want a light background like an air supply. Yeah.

If I'm going to pay less than I'm looking for fucking right air walks. Yeah. Exactly. I'm trying to look like Tony Hawk. Put on a budget. But but I'm trying to be poor Tony. But but yeah. But if you're still waiting for your dad's disability to come through.

So you can get air walks that kind of. That's sad. Shout out to my dad's fucking accident at Home Depot. Shout out to literally what happened in third grade. Did you get paid off that fat? I don't believe he did. Well, he's walking down one of the aisles looking for something in a nail called his clothes and it ripped all his clothes.

And then he got circumcised by accident at Home Depot. And then he like he was embarrassed and he kept falling and slipping at his dick. I called the saw. Oh yeah. That's what happened. He got his force. How dare they. And he sued for years and they were like, actually you're we were taking you to jail.

Yeah. For a decent. If you want to see pictures of Stav's father's penis, you can go to patreon.com.com. That's right. And sign up for just $5 a month. You get an extra picture of his father's penis. That's true. Isn't there some news?

No, there isn't. Not until there is news. Okay. There might be some news. God damn it, Adam. I didn't say anything. Yes, you did. The very the very suggestion is saying something.

All right. There's no news. You've already said it by saying it again. That means that there should have, you know, you don't understand broadcasting. He really don't. How long have we been doing this fucking 25 years? I'm like that. And you still don't understand the basics.

We are young men. We refers to me and stop. Right. Right. You skipped to exactly. I mean, I skipped to know there is you're not even following the logic of brought to you by my bookie dot com. All right.

It's March Madness time and that means my bookie dot AG is the place to go to bed on college sports. Mm hmm. It's it's probably the sweet 16 right now or something. It's around their sweet 16, which is the same age of girls that Stavros likes to take out. That's not true at all. I'm gonna say that take out girl 16.

Don't fuck. You're the one who looks like Woody Allen here, pal. All right. Don't you even dare is Woody Allen part of the stop Asian hate thing. Well, he loves that part of it. I think it is. Including that. Mm hmm.

Shane Gillis using the n word is what caused Sunyi to be molested to be molested. That's true. Yeah. By her step. There's a direct line between the two of those. There's no way it didn't cause it. It's sort of like the trolley problem. And the trolley is a guy using the n word.

And the people on the tracks are black people. And then the guy to switch is Shane Gillis. And the other track is the Chinese Missus. Missus. And so by saying it, so you're saying Shane was definitely going to kill either a bunch of black people or a bunch of Asian people. Yes. And by saying the Chinese anti Asian slurs, he switched the level.

And you know where he said it. In my book. To go to my bookie.aj to bet on a video of Shane using the n word. Mm hmm. If it's funny, you get $100. They have a welcome bonus for people. I think 50% and 150% casino bonus for up to $750. And for Adam, it's a 50 purse.

And yeah. Yeah. 50% like a woman. You get double the purse. That's right. Or half the purse. You could also bet with a Bitcoin. Wow.

Yeah. That's huge. So if you're one of those Thailand pedophile style guys, you can use Bitcoin. Yeah. We got NFTs. Oh yeah. Whatever that is. Nice fucking tits.

Nice fucking tits. Is that what it stands for? Yeah. Oh, then I like them. They're good. I was. Yeah. But you were what?

I was into tits. Honestly. Shut the fuck up, man. You're pissing me off. I'm older than you. So technically that makes me into tits. Stephanie, it's good to see you. No, stop it.

I don't want to hear them. We're talking about my bookie.ag right now. Just told us you missed it. There was a story about the animal shelter. That's true. No. In case you heard anything about NFTs while you're out there in the world of Liars. They have a first deposit bonus up to $1,000.

Welcome back to the No Spin Zone. And it's bracket season right now, baby. It's bracket season. You know what that means? March Madness, which we have to change to March Mental Illness Month. Yeah. March Neuro atypical. Neuro atypical.

I am Neuro atypical about basketball because Madness is an anti-retardite slur. Yeah. We don't do anti-retardism. That's not what we do here. This is not an anti-tardic show. Not at all. Fuck. What was like my bookie?

They got sports book, casino, racing, deposit, refer your friend. I'm just reading off the menu. The only thing that really matters is the promo code. They have a VIP online betting experience. Come town 20s. Come town 20. Come town or come town 20. It's one of those folks.

Look, you gotta play around with it. Play around with this. It's like a slot machine. Honestly, what are you waiting for? You pull the lever. You choose the one you want. If you get it right, cha-ching. Cha-ching.

You won. And that's what my bookie.com is all about. And that's the thing. Even the promo code you're gambling. We got the Carolina Chanticleers and the Bryant Bulldogs. Oh, man. Is that what's going on? Sooners and the Bulldogs.

Kings and Cavaliers. Thunder and Timberwolves. Hornets and Spurs. I'm just reading the list. I'm just killing time. I don't think you got Loyola versus Oregon on Saturday. Who you got in that one? Stop.

I gotta keep going with Oregon State. I mean, I gotta go with Loyola. I gotta get my boys. You gotta go with Chef Boyola. Chef Boyola. Why choose my bookie sports book? If you're new to online sports betting or a season pro, we strive to create the absolute best online betting

experience for all of our customers. Our name, my bookie, says it all. That is so true. It absolutely is. When I hear the name mybookie.ag, something in my brain goes real business. Please have all of my money. It says it all.

It says it all. It is a name you can trust. I love betting with my bookie. Please take all of my money. Please take my money. Please take my money. I made a Goldman Sachs. They've been having a hard time,

so they've been hiring. They've been hiring managing directors in the parking lot. Travajo, boys. What does Travajo mean? Work. All right. What am I thinking of? What's travel?

You know what, in both French and Spanish, it's like Travajo and Travalle or some shit. Travelle? Something like that. Like Beau Travelle. That fucks me up because it sounds like travel in English, which means going on a vacation or something. Yeah.

Yep. And in all the other languages, the ones that get kind of nasty with the accents and all that shit. That's right. It means job. Damn. That's some linguistic ass shit right there.

I mean, Noam Chomsky write books about this shit, dude. It's facts. I've been getting into Noam Chomsky lately as a... Noam can actually chomp on my dixie. As an intellectual comedian. Oh, yeah. I've been reading Noam Chomsky. I've read Chomsky and he's full of it.

Let me tell you. I was using my speaking spell to figure, to learn the animal noise as well. While reading Ingles and Chomsky. Wow. Biography. That's awesome, dude. And I came to the realization that...

Shane Gillis is bad. Yes. Yeah. He's a murderer. Well, they've been talking. Marx definitely has a whole chapter on Shane Gillis being bad. And Adorno also. Porkheimer.

Yeah. Porkheimer, Adorno. I'm about to porkheimer some pussy. Because I adore no tits. Some people say Lacan. I say Lacan. I say Lacan my nuts. Yeah.

Adam picked the dumbest one. All right. Sorry. We'll go back to that. You brought it up too. I thought we were... You had time to sit there and think about whether it was a good one or not. I wasn't trying to...

You said Lacan. Because the goal for you is to just... All right. To be the guy we're essentially making fun of. I don't know any of that stuff. I literally don't know any of that stuff. You know... Red.

I know that. Oh, believe me. I know that. Yeah. That sounds like a medical emergency. Slowly killing yourself by smelling your own fart. Then you can fix at mybookie.ag. They're your legal online bookie.

You open 24 hours, seven days a week. There isn't another sports book on the planet that gives the experience that we do. They'll suck your cock. They'll suck your cock. Freedome style. And that's the experience... Okay. They're available all of the time.

They're much like Adam Freedome. They're available to do gay shit 24-7. 24-7. You just ask them for the Venmo. Just send them the Venmo. Yeah, send them for the... What does the guy say? Send them for the Venner.

Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. You just ask for the Bruno treatment and you would get it. You tell him Bruno essential. You want that Bruno treatment? Freedome style. You tell him about Bruno essential.

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That's awesome. I love it. So go up. Bet on fucking March Madness. With the way the stock market is in crypto, there's no way you can't lose on sports. That's right. It's the famous expression God smiles in threes. He smiled on this market.

He smiled on crypto and now he will smile. On Adam's three inch penis. On Adam's three inch penis, which you can bet. You can bet Adam's body on my bookie. You can collateralize Adam's body. You can mint your own swap tokens to use this collateralized Adam's body with swap tokens and then bet those swap tokens on my bookie. And if you lose, Adam gets raped.

Adam's raped at that. Jesus. Guys, so be careful. You gotta check it out. Because Adam might be doing a bunch of gay stuff. And listen, this is all according to the truth telling ladies. I don't know this stuff. It's all true.

Okay. So they say it's true. And it isn't used to me. But please be careful because even though he's doing all that kind of stuff, he's still my friend and I love him dearly. I appreciate it. So I don't want him to acknowledge that publicly. I saw Adam, me and Evelyn were at 7-Eleven and Adam had a big gulp for a calm.

Well, a lot of people sound the same, Adam. Maybe your ears haven't been fucked clean in a while and you've forgotten, that's the other thing he does. What's that? I guess Evelyn's friend. He gets his ears blown out so he doesn't have to pay the doctor to do it. Oh, smart. Yeah.

Yet again. Just like the taxi cruise. That's good. Another way to be gay and save money. Classic two birds, one stone scenario. More about the saving. It's Adam on an infomercial. I'm going to teach you how to save money by having gay sex.

I was a substitute teacher, I was making $22,000 a year and then I signed up for the gay sex cash flow business solutions plan for life. Gold life cash flow solutions, money pocket, essential systems, maximize and the gold plan for only $899 a month or simple, easy $80 daily payments to a man named Bruno. You can win in the cash flow, gold, gay sex, system of sexual pleasure and saving a couple of bucks. It doesn't sound like that's good economics to be a guy in a home in a home 90s home office. Just immaculate like beautiful mill work home office in front of a huge lawn using a big

fucking computer. Yep. Moving the mouse around. Moving the mouse around. Yeah. Clicking on a little other outfit, my returns last year, well, we were tired from our jobs as janitors and now me and my wife, Jesse may make over $800 million a year. We were able to retire early and now we sit in jet skis in our living room and all it

took was having a little bit of gay sex and a little bit of luck results. Not typical results. Not typical. What were all those most customers will just be fucked out and outside of central park. Most customers will be turned out and sexually abused outside of central park. It's never clear what those businesses are. It's like sort of stock, sort of like passive income, like they never explain what the multi little market.

Yeah. That shit made me so depressed as a kid. I would watch those commercials and it's like this world is so like it's just hopeless. Yeah. You get to be an adult and you're like hoping that the answer is going to be a fucking 900 number of two o'clock in the morning. Yeah. It's sad fucks that are like I'm going to be like that maybe I'm sick of fucking being

a bitch and losing. Yeah. It's time to start winning. Yeah. I love winning by calling this man with dollar bills all over his suit Matthew Lesko Matthew Lesko. It's question marks right. Wait.

That was the riddler. The riddler. Wait. What is Matthew? Let's go Matthew. Let's go with like exclamation. Tell you how to get money. No, I remember.

I know who he is. But I mean like oh yeah. What is that? I don't buy for grants and stuff. I don't know. Basically he was like a PPP loan fraud guy. Yeah. So what do you do is you take out PPP loans and say for example that he was living in

Brooklyn working as like a freelancer when really he had already moved back to his parents home in Idaho and applied for a PPP loan fraudulently. How much money could you make on that? Through two installments about fifteen thousand dollars. Not bad. From the federal government. From the federal government you could you could falsely claim you were paying rent and Brooklyn and really you were in Idaho.

I bet you that shake off forgiven quick. Yeah. No Matthew. Let's go. He's a he's a he's a tell you like MV legend. Yeah. You'd see him around DC. He was in Bethesda.

He's a Bethesda guy. You know a movie I saw recently and it was kind of sick and I thought I'd call me by your name. No. Just the parts where they kiss. No. Not that actually. I saw and I thought it would be really bad.

War dogs. Have you seen that movie? No. Is Jonah Hill and then that guy whose face I don't like Miles Teller. He actually saw a movie called Warm Dogs. No. Warm Dogs. And it was about Adam Kepe.

It was in World War One. People would get trench dick. And the dicks would fall off. The dicks would fall off and Adam he would run up and he was like. That's not true. On all fours wearing a collar at the movie. He was like a flying sleigh and gale running up and down the line. I did.

He went off. Sucking the trench. Sucking the trench microbes off the microbes and he'd live off the microbes. Sucking them up and then bandaging them gently and lovingly bandaging them. I'm trying to tell you about this Todd Phillips film War Dogs was the Todd Phillips joint. It was. I didn't realize. Interesting.

But yeah. It's about this 18 and 20 year old kid who like during the Iraq war. They had sex with Adam. They found. They just like learned how to use the government contracting website to like order weapons and stuff for like for the troops in Afghanistan. And they like they got us like a something like a six hundred million dollar contract from the guy.

Yeah. Yeah. By about getting like a K forty seven ammunition where they find the guns and found it in like somewhere in the Balkans or something and then yeah they lied to the government and didn't tell them that it was Chinese like bullets or something like that. Yeah. The rules from the Cold War or some shit. But did it all end up good for the guys.

No. I think they went to jail. But it's a very good movie. Very funny. Respect. Wow. Cool story. No.

No. But anyway. So I'm going to return a bunch of shit to Amazon. Matthew. Let's go. They just walk all the way to UPS. You know. Sorry.

Yeah. It's fucking pain in the ass. Oh that's. You know what. You know what I said. Excuse me. Okay. I really I'm dying of allergies right now from your cat by the way.

Me too. This whole episode. I'm also allergic to cats. I just care. No. I care about the animal kingdom. And so I have this this piece of shit thing that lives in my house because I respect. Oh here she comes.

Here she comes again. The cat knows. Because he's gay. You got to go somewhere. No. I just I want to stand at the bottom and I'm starting to hurt my. You can open the window if you want. It's not going to help the fresh air.

It's just this. I have cat dandruff in my noses. My nostrils. I mean your noses. I met nostrils. Yeah. I'm not thinking straight. Dude.

Well what else. He's thinking gay. He's thinking Friedland. AKA gay. You know his brain. That's the truth telling ladies the old truth tellers. Fuck dude. Well folks if you want to purchase a t-shirt you can go to come downtown while supplies

last. That's right. Some very good t-shirts. Go to stop me.biz. We got a new dream to imagine ponytail. I saw a mock-up of that. It's very beautiful. Thank you.

Definitely buy that always for an additional episode every week you go to patreon.com. Patreon.com. Slash. If you're one of our many new Spotify listeners go to patreon.com. You can get double this. That's right. We are also on Spotify and we switch posts in January and they have no way to like just press a button and it puts it.

Everything else because like people for years people be like all you have to do is you email I'm like all right. No. I'm not. Wrong. Wrong. Most people just watch this on YouTube anyways and I have no idea how that gets on there. Somebody is stealing.

Most of the people that get our content have stolen it. But if you are one of them and you have a change of heart and want to actually pay five bucks a month for bonus episodes in addition to this YouTube video you're watching. The episodes are trying to stop you from killing yourself. Mail to your house on cassette tape that signed Adam writes a personal letter. I write a letter. Yeah. That's one of my jobs around here around the office.

He writes a personal letter to everyone that signs up. They send it to you. All right. Stop Asian. Stop Asian. That was that was the important thing this week. Bye bros.