The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 255 – springtime for hitler

Episode Date: April 14, 2021

bette hitler

In all tribal cultures, every village has a Sentinel. Yes. Now a Sentinel is chosen because of a genetic advantage. A sensory awareness that can be developed beyond normal humans. Your time spent in Peru has got to be connected with what's happening to you now. I've got hundreds of documented cases of one or two hyperactive senses, but not one single subject with all five. You could be the real thing.

Hell yeah. Welcome to the show. I've been reviewing Highlander, the TV series, but there's another show I want to review. I've always connected it with Highlander for some reason. This guy. And that show is the Sentinel. No, you don't have this much charisma.

The Sentinel was a Canadian television show. Oh, it's Canadian. It ran for three and a half seasons. Three and a half. For 65 episodes and shared 113 cast members with Highlander. Whoa. That is interesting. The show focuses around Detective James Ellison

of the Cascade Washington Police Department. After a three day stakeout trying to catch a bomber known as the Switchman, he starts to develop high incenses and only an entomology student named Blair knows why that is. In all tribal cultures, every village. Let's just do that for an hour, dude. Yeah, let's just play the Sentinel audio.

It's a pretty good show. Yeah, we're just, we're just, this is now a UPN podcast. Yeah. Well, we haven't really talked. Come down the official UPN podcast. We're going to do Sam. We're going to cover Sentinel. We should do Ed and Eddie.

I just, I just initiated stop and Adam to Sentinel. It's pretty good. We kind of liked it. Yeah. It's, it's not, it's, it's not, I mean, I just watched it. We, we've been watching goofy bullshit. That's bad. This was pretty good.

But yeah, no, it's the best of seven days. Viper and diagnosis. Diagnosis murder is so good. I love that fucking show. Diagnosis murder was the best bad TV show I've ever seen. Yeah. It's really good. Yeah.

Cause you have a certified star. You got Dick Van Dyke in the mix. And then his dickhead, dickhead son who in real life is also his dickhead son. Yep. Oh, really? Yes. Barry Van Dyke.

I didn't realize. Yeah. So what, what happens is we watch diagnosis murder. Adam just stares at the stock market all day long. No, I don't know. So being his phone scrolling through stocks and then me and style will make jokes. And then we'll look up from his phone and repeat the things we

had said. They came to me, but I wasn't listening. Yeah. So it was parallel. It wasn't parallel thinking. Or is that my subconscious was. You were stealing. Repeating.

Just steal it. You see was stealing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's good stuff. I mean Sentinel is pretty, pretty good stuff. He's a hot.

The main guy is pretty hot. You being had a reality show. This is people forget that this is. We're talking about the first couple of seasons of Survivor. Right. We're brand new. So people didn't really know what direction reality shows

were going to go and fucking Fox had their own called Temptation Island. Of course. Jack off the temptation island. Yeah. People were on an island. They had to not fuck each other. Yeah.

That was the temptation. And of course they did. They just watch people fuck on night vision camera. Yeah. In like tea house. Pusses would be blurred. Yeah. But I would easily jack off to that.

Yeah. That's I count. Because here's the other thing. That's also at the highlight of night vision being horny because of one night in Paris. And then let's not forget. And then the UPN they had because UPN had smackdown at the time.

So they had some kind of agreement with WWE. And their reality show is a show called manhunt. Or is this people on an island and John Cena run around and wait really. Yeah. I don't remember the most dangerous game. Yeah. Did he kill them.

It was a paintball gun. But it was they had John Cena like dressed as an army man. And they were they would just be hunted by a bodybuilder. I don't remember that one at all. Yeah. I do remember smackdown coming to UPN. That was huge. I also remember I remember like I said the show with Eddie

Griffin and I watched every episode of manhunt as they aired. And I remember being excited for the finale to find out who won. You know. But you didn't watch smackdown. I would watch smackdown. But I was never really into wrestling. Right. It was just I mean I would just watch everything that was on

UPN. Of course you were a UPN guy. You were a company man. Yeah. That was a great fucking channel. This is John Cena before WWE to by the way. Get the really. What.

Yeah. He was not on. Game show host. And was he a rapper too. No. Or that his character was like hip. Wait. Why would that be a fucking time with smackdown then.

Because manhunt was supposed to feature smackdown wrestlers. And then it fell apart. Then. But that doesn't make any sense that John Cena was just a rant. And then he got hired by the WWE. Yeah. Do you guys ever do you guys remember the W when they were at the UFC it was also the World Wildlife Fund.

Yes. And then the pandas are like you can't use the same name as us. I don't think pandas talk. Yeah. Well the ones that can go to court too. I mean I'm doing an impression because a lot of them speak Chinese. Right. Yeah.

I want the audience to know what the pandas are saying. They wouldn't understand. Because you have the ability to speak Chinese. The pandas would be. Yes. They would be speaking Nick's brain. And director Cantonese. Panda.

His internal monologue is Chinese. It's Chinese. It's Cantonese. Yeah. You perceive the world. That's what's going on in my head. He's translating. That's actually.

That's the most advanced language is Cantonese. Yeah. It's like a combination of various worlds. It's this beautiful tongue. The pandas and racist autistic guys only speak. What was that? They tried to start a new language. Esperanto.

Esperanto. Yeah. William Shatner was into it. Wait. What? Yeah. Well they tried to trick black people into speaking it by naming it after a Cadillac. Yeah.

The Esperanto. That's the greatest trick. It was a big thing back in the 70s. They were like how do we get them to stop talking like that? They're like we'll make up a new language and call it El Dorado. Esperanto. Esperanto. Esperanto just sounds like Spanish though.

Yeah. It's supposed to be in the middle of all the languages. Are you fucking serious? They tried this? What does it sound like? It's like we already did that. It's called English. Colonialism is the answer.

Yeah. Just speak English. God dang it. It's so funny. English is just a bunch of people speaking a bunch of different languages in the same place and that just became one fucked up language. I guess there are like native speakers in this bullshit. Is there?

Yeah. Are there? From where? The most... I don't know. This is... I loved the idea of doing like one of those like did you know research podcasts? We haven't even...

We just like look at Wikipedia. Yeah. Wasn't there that fucking made up shit? Mm-hmm. It was intended to be a universal second language. There should be different languages depending on what class you're in, I feel. Mm-hmm. Like not just accents, but full languages.

Yep. So once you start making a certain amount of money, you get access to pandanese. Yeah. Yeah. Never below that. It's like what is he saying? You're like the one go by and then a panda just nods at you. Yeah.

Dude, that would be so tight to be able to communicate with a panda. Oh my God. I would love to go down there little slides. Yeah, just a panda like looking at you and then looking back angrily at me and then saying something and then in subtitles it says I don't look like him. And I'm like what's going on Nick? Is the panda happy? He's a frowning panda upset.

Like I'm not fat in the panda world. This is just what pand... We're all this size. I can see that he's a fat human. I'm a normal size for a panda. Fuck that panda dude. The panda should be fucking honored to look like me. Yeah.

The pandas, don't they eat like 24 hours a day? Yeah. They're always just fucking munching. Yeah, all day long. And they bust fast. Do they? I think they ought to get back to eating. Is it the problem that they don't fuck that much?

Oh, that's why they're endangered? You got to make me a panda dude. We need to do a freaky Friday panda sweat body switch. Make me a panda? I'll fucking, I'll fill up every panda pussy I come across. Yeah. So that's where the name panda express comes from. A lot of the sauce is just different colored panda cum.

They're using it for sauce instead of... Well, the pandas come so much faster than any other animal in Chinese cuisine, this animal cum is a huge ingredient. Yeah, it's true. They, you know, it takes 15 minutes to suck off a dog. Yeah. To get the sauce you need before cooking the dog and then blazing it with its own cum. That's one of the biggest delicacies is a dog poached in its own cum. Yeah, twice fucked dog.

They call the Beijing twice fucked dog. Yeah. And the panda comes so quick. That's why it's like, you know, we have, we, we paid $10 million to rent the pandas for the national zoo. That's true. But a lot of people think we rented them from some Chinese zoo and they don't have those there. We just rented them from the big cum restaurant. Yeah.

Yeah. Good lucky dragon number 64. B.J. Chang's. B.J. Chang's. B.J. Chang's. That's a big, that's a big restaurant over there. Damn, I would love to go to B.J. Chang's. It's just a Chinese lady with big, fake teeth.

It sucks your dick and feed you egg rolls. Well, there is, I remember... Famously. That would be awesome. I'm just smiling. Famously. B.J. Chang's. There was that story where they had to close the Rainforest Cafe in Dallas because it was, they built it next to, like, near this Asian community.

And the families were going in there and trying to suck off the gorilla. Is that so? Yeah. They would go suck at stick and they're like... It's not the same animal. There's no cum and there's gorilla's balls. He's like, he's empty. They would demand refunds.

Why? He's empty. Now, I didn't, see, I didn't realize gorillas were indigenous to China. Well, they thought they were a different type of panda. They thought they were American pandas. Like a strong panda. Like, kind of like a pit bull versus a bulldog. Yeah.

Yes. And they had to close. That's where the Rainforest Cafe went out of business. Get out of town. Yeah. This was in weird Dallas. That's what they said to those guys, too. This was in Dallas, you said?

It was in Dallas, yeah. They have that many Chinese people in Dallas. Oh, there's a big community. There's a big community out there. They love the rodeo. Yeah. This is all new information to me, to be honest. Now, why do you, why would you, would somebody assume a gorilla was an American panda?

Well, they don't. Because they don't have any white. I would love to go to the rodeo and like, you know, just like, like use the bathroom at the rodeo and then come out. My pants are still down my ankles and I'm like wiping my ass at the sink. My penis is out and people are like, what are you doing? Sorry, this is my first. There you go.

No, I'm sorry. It's my first rodeo. Yes. Yeah. Nick really got himself with that one. God damn. My fault, fellas. Never been to one of these before.

You have the whole spigot in your ass. You were using it like a dildo. You're fucking yourself with the sink. It's water. Spring. Water. All of the mirror. Sorry.

This is my first rodeo. That would be cool. That would be really funny to see. Honestly. Yeah. That one, that one crucial punch line to build up is. It's beautiful. You were going for there.

Okay. I'm ready to do the show. I'm ready to get back to work. Break times over, Nick. You can enjoy that image of you pulling your shitty ass cheeks apart and sliding a faucet in your ass. Well, a guy from fucking Texas looks on horrified. Yeah, I've never been to the rodeo.

Sorry. Ain't never been one. Did you actually go when you were in Austin? Never in Austin. I used to go to the Cowtown radio in New Jersey as a child. Really? Yeah. There's Cowtown rodeo.

Yeah. In South Jersey, it's a cowboy country. What? They got a little cowboy area of New Jersey. No, they don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in between Philly and Atlantic City is like the cowboy area. They wear like cowboy hats.

It's called Cowtown. Cowtown rodeo. Yeah. That's where I used to have a hat that says Jesus is my boss that I used to wear all the time. Yeah, you got at the Cowtown rodeo. And then like Nate Bargatze did a photo shoot with that hat years later. I guess he found it separately.

I'm like, well, no, I guess I can't wear that hat anymore. But great minds. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I lost a bit. Yep. And that's sort of why. Yeah. That's true.

Jesus is my motherfucking boss. Damn, we should go to Cowtown. I would go. Yeah. I would go. My shit is kicked in. I'm invincible. Yeah.

I'm going to go down there and meet some rough customers. You get fucked in the ass by guys with calluses on their hands. You can feel that fucking. By some fake. Yeah. Yeah. By some ranch hands. And then one of them gets AIDS from you.

And it's like New Jersey. You devastated the community. New Jersey's virus club. You're patient zero. Yeah. Let me ask you some. You telling me a regular cowboy is some kind of fag? They're like, well, we can give you HIV medicine.

He's like, nah, I refuse to take it. It's a story about one man that kept saying he wasn't gay in 2021 until he died of AIDS. No, I'm not taking no pills that a gay guy would take. Yeah. I'm just I'm just the regular cowboy. I'm a fucking cowboy. I'm a cowboy. Yeah.

This place is only two hours and 43 minutes away from here. That's so far. That's basically Baltimore. Yeah. You know what's even further away? What is that? Wait, never mind. What is that?

I did the math wrong. I was going to say the tip of your dick from your asshole, but that would make it big. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what you were thinking. It could make it. How about this? The tip of his dick from the center of his asshole.

Just doing math. You fucking it. No, you were. But in your brain. How about your dick? The tip of your dick. You know what it is? The depths of your ass.

The entrance to your ass from the end of your ass. No, but that's not what you were thinking. You were actually thinking the distance between my ass and the end of my penis, which is, you know, it's. It is. No, no, he's right. But it's only because your asshole is three hours deep. I'm going to contact the Guinness Book of.

So my dick is negative 15 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. See that? That's a horrible way to find out. See how that's flipped on you. I'm in public right now in front of all these fans. My dick is negative 15 minutes long.

Yeah. That's right. My dick saves time. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just exit one off the Jersey Turnpike. Yeah. Yeah.

Cowtown. That's not bad. Cowtown right by the Delaware Memorial Bridge. I just saw a dead body next to the Delaware. That's so fucked. Yeah. I wonder how dead was it? I mean, they were loading it into the fucking like corners, man.

Oh, shit. Yeah. Somebody jumped, you think? No, they got no car accident. Oh, come on. Are they sexy? Fucking disrespectful. I'm sorry.

I mean to disrespect the dead. Asking how someone died. That should have never happened. Did you see the corpses penis? I did. It was hanging out of their bag. Why did they zip it in? It stuck on the zipper.

That's disrespectful. They're zipping it up against the dick. I'm like, classic. There's something about Mary. The whole dick. Yeah. The zipper goes around. The guy's down at the more probably have a lot of fun with that one.

Classic morgue. Yeah. This guy died at the rodeo. It was his first time at the rodeo. A fucking coller sink broke off in his ass and caused internal bleeding. Take this guy to the morgue. It's his first time in the rodeo. Daddy, why is this nicking balls out there?

You'll understand when you're older, son. There's something about the west. You can't hear western New Jersey. You're in the west. You're in the west. Man's direction in life is different. That is such a good visual, dude. Yeah.

I'm sorry, captain. I don't know how this happened. We're out of bags. It's all like pinch the bottom of the top. It's stuck. We're out of bags. We're going to have to transport it like this. We don't want to unzip and cause more damage in a murder investigation.

The murder gets off because they tampered with the penis. Classic. I got a penis. You can tamper with Adam. Why? Adam loves tampering. So it can't be presented as evidence. No, you're just going to tamper with it.

I don't know. It has nothing to do with it. You can tamper with something that's not in a fucking court. I only know the court version of that. That's how my brain works. Yeah. Okay, guys. I'll tell you what also works is smokable CBD.

Oh, and does it ever works perfectly? I love smoking cushy dreams when I go to the rodeo. Oh, yeah. And then they think you're some sort of ganja smoking, you know, criminal. And then you tell them. Adam, why don't you tell the good folks at home about cushy dreams for a little bit while I just rest my eyes here for a second. Nick just rolled his eyes into the back of his head.

We can only see the whites. That's how I rest my eyes. Undertaker style. Yeah. That was such an awesome move. Cushy dreams is a line of premium smokable CBD. That's so cool. It's not Undertaker's like autistic kid, angry look.

Yeah. Dude, how many? But although to be fair, that's kind of a chicken or the egg. I feel like he caused... He taught them. He taught those autistic people. It's the Undertaker. He's being Norway typical.

We've never seen this before. Oh, my God. He's color coding all those Legos very fast. Oh, and here comes the sensory overloading. He's got pieces of Velcro that he's rubbing on the Undertaker's forearms. Oh, he's screeching. The Undertaker is screeching. The Undertaker is screeching and punching himself in the side of the head.

They call him that because he has to undertake the difficult task of living as a Norway typical boy. I don't navigate in the world with autism. In a world that would consider him a fag even if he was just an eccentric normal guy. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, well, and actually the only thing that caused the Undertaker's autism, the only thing that fixed it was smoking cushy dreams. Not just any smokable CBD, CBD from our friends at CushyDreams.com. Yeah, with premium buds that are hand selected by botanists in California.

They got one of those fucking from New Jack City. It's one of those warehouses where every bitch has their titties out. Look at this picture of this guy riding this horse. What is this picture? Get a different picture, man. What's the picture? No, you know, let's see it. Come on, let me see it.

He looks like, the guy looks like, oh my God. He looks like, he looks like he's doing a fucking, but getting his dick sucked at the same time. Go to CalTownRodio.com and take a look at this guy. Anyway, so yeah, if you want to cure your autism, or if you just want to chill out, have a nice time, watch the UPN lineup from 2000 on bootleg DVDs. Yeah, how about you hit up our friends at CushyDreams.com and you order some of their premium line of smokable CBD.

They got hustle, chill, relax. They got dream, they got create. They got, they got strains for your whole thing. They got a quit and you can commit any crime. If you smoke that, you'll be fine. And marijuana has now been legalized in New York state, but it's, so now it's more badass actually to be smoking. Now it's cool before we're going to be honest,

before it was gay, before it wasn't badass. It was, yeah, now it is, but I just read this. The CalTownRodio is the most well-known rodeo in the United States. That's how shitty rodeo is. Oh, San Antonio, don't they have a better rodeo? No, I don't think so. I think people are confusing rodeo with matadors.

The Spurs, the Spurs go on a one month road trip every year. I think bullfighting is cruel, but if they did it where it was like one of those autistic kids that puts his arms behind them and runs with his backpack. And then there's a guy. Ruto running. What's that? Yeah, yeah, that kind of thing.

One of those guys going through like a towel while he gets like stabbed with a little stiletto. That would be cool to watch. That would be awesome. And less cruel. Is this the Undertaker? Brought to you by Cushy Dreams. Brought to you by Cushy Dreams.

Would the rodeo be better if we were killing the retarded? Not killing them. Cushy Dreams. Just stabbing them a little bit. They don't kill the bulls at the bullfighting. Yes, they do. No, they don't. But then what do they do?

Kill them. Oh, they do? No, they let the bulls kill the bull. They famously killed them. No, that's in the Matador's do that, I thought. That's what the fuck Nick is talking about. You fucking dunce. I thought you were talking about in the rodeo.

Brought to you by Cushy Dreams. Brought to you by Cushy Dreams. Anyway. Sorry, I was looking at pictures of cowboys right now on my phone. Yeah, you're looking at pictures of cowboys with their hard dicks. Yeah. Coming out of their fucking dungarees. So, yeah, if you're a fan.

Screaming out of their dungarees. If you're a fan of the show, Cushy Dreams wants to reward you for listening to our show. For your loyalty. Your loyalty to us. That's why that's why you can go to CushyDreams.com and put in promo code cometown. I think it's cometown. Cometown. I think it's just cometown.

Nick. And you receive 20% off your order. Your first order from CushyDreams. I think any order. Or any order. Forever. You know, who knows? Spain is the gayest country in the world.

Why? Why? Look at these fucking people. I know. I know. Just fuck. I mean, even like the clothes and then the stance. I mean, this is just, this is atrocious.

You know what? I like the clothes. Yeah. I would love to wear a fucking bullfighter's outfit, but not cause harm to a bull. So I guess, I mean, I guess I'd like to eat a steak. Yeah, but bulls wouldn't be tasty. Why not? Cause they're like too athletic and muscular.

Their meat would be tough. I bet you we eat bulls. I think you need like a fat, lazy woman. A fat, lazy cow. CushyDreams is brought to you by the same people that came up with Bob Evans. Yes. Is that so? Yes.

CushyDreams is a... I'm pretty sure you eat bull and it tastes good. Can we please just get to the read? I'm the only one here trying to stay awesome. You're right. Bulls are usually not used for me. Bulls are usually larger than other cattle. The only part of a bull that's eating is...

They got a premium Adam. Your job was talking about CushyDreams. I did already. You were looking at Spanish guys on your... That's true. You were pulling up your fucking bookmarks. And then one of the Spanish guys... You're like, it's so tragic how he goes in there and fights it.

And I gave him my love before he's married. I can't wait to give a little stab to my boyfriend to dress up like a homo. Wave a tiny flag at my big boyfriend. And when he run past, I give him little prick. Apparently we eat bulls as ground beef because they're tougher. Really? And also the testicles for shows like Fear Factor and Gross Out kind of reality TV shows. You gotta eat a bull's balls.

CushyDreams is brought to you by viewers like you. That's right. Oh shit. Dude, I rarely do this, but I have to piss. I'm sorry. That's fine. While you're gone, we'll just talk about a new website, CushyDreams.com. CushyDreams, look.

This stuff, I tell you, it's Smokable CBD Flower. And it comes in pre-rolled joints. It's like eight different types. They all got dumb names. I think they do different shit. That's explained on the website. They all do different shit. That's the point.

And they also have nitrogen sealed tins. If you're one of these, I gotta break my own weed up guy. I like the pre-rolls because that takes a step out of it that I always thought shouldn't have been my job. That should be the damn factory workers. They should be making the joints for me. But I've tried oils in the past and it doesn't really do anything for me. Gummies, CBD gummies, that's a racket. It's all fake.

The only real way to enjoy CBD and for it to make your life so much better in a quantifiable way is to smoke the real flower. You gotta try it. You gotta go to cushydreams.com, promo code CUMTOWN20, I think. I think it's just CUMTOWN. It's just CUMTOWN or CUMTOWN20. Just try it out. You know, I'm gonna do it now. So we're gonna go shop now.

Okay, nice. And we're gonna tell you about the, look, they got a picture of the Brooklyn Bridge. Wow. That's pretty good. When I think CBD, I think the Brooklyn Bridge. Which is weird because none of it, it's all from like, it's all from those like obnoxious, like Northern California. Yeah, weed country. Oh, weed country.

Well, New York is about to be... Anybody that's ever been like, oh, I really gotta go, I gotta go see Humboldt or whatever. It's like, just stay there forever. Don't ever come back. For sure. Yeah. I have no patience. None whatsoever.

For California, but especially Northern California. That's right. At least Southern California has the, you know, the courtesy of announcing itself as just like retarded trash. Northern California where they're like, oh, we got coffee shops. We're intelligent. So true. They don't have those in Southern California. They've got none of that shit.

They do not have a single coffee shop. They have fake tits. And they show up here in New York and they're like, I'm just trying to get a fucking burrito bro and go surfing. I'm like, pal, you're in the fucking wrong place. Chief. Yeah. I'm like, pal, I'm just trying to get through this damn rodeo.

And obviously I'm struggling. I'm scared. I'm struggling. My ass is so dirty. I've been scared to go to the bathroom. My pants are soaking wet. And now my socks are soggy too. They're covered in shit.

They're wet. I'm all squishy. And I'm, I'm afraid part of the sink broke off into my ass. It's causing internal bleeding. My body bag and my shoes are all squishy. I hope I can drive home. How to go to the road. So select your next smoke here with the pre rolls.

We've got a CBD pre rolls of cushy dreams.com. I do love the half gram little joints. The dream pre roll 15 bucks. That's less than I thought. Those make my dick hard. So we could see dreams. If you're listening, please sponsor us. So we get this shit for free.

I haven't gotten a care package in quite some time. I've been smoking this shit thinking it was like, uh, oh, this is, uh, this is like $400 each. I thought it was smoke. And it would have been worth every goddamn. I would have spent that 15 bucks is nothing. Imagine if it was this cheap to smoke a, like a cigarette and only cost $15. That would be it.

I'd be, I'd be. Oh, I love this dude. Smokable. Okay. So smokable hemp CBD pre rolls $15 or four interest free payments of 370. This is the best day. Here you go. You can finance fake weed.

If you even thought for one second to do that, do yourself a favor and kill yourself. Yeah. My credit score is five to your fucking jugular. All right. Add the card. I'm going to do the, I'm going to do the payment system because I'm trying to build up credit. Yeah.

Okay. So the coupon code. Let's put it in come town and see what happens. I'm pretty sure it's going to work. I have a really good feeling. Come down. Apply coupon. Let's see.

Yes. Coupon code applied. Successful. Nice. Oh, coupon code hometown. It gets you $6 off. From what? From the fucking from $30.

So that's 20% 20% off. That's a big, that's a big, that's really nice stuff. So go over there, do that, use the promo code. And as always, remember, smoke your CBD. Because you can. Because you can. One of the best, one of the absolute best models any company has ever had. And if you can't smoke it, then don't smoke it.

If you're one of those voice box guys, don't do that, man. You smoked enough. I'm sick of these fucking voice box guys. My penis is small. The doctor had to try to make my dick bigger by putting a hose down my throat. And blowing it up with a bicycle bomb. But it blew, it just blew the faucet out of my ass and everyone at the rodeo. Your doctor did the operation at the rodeo?

I spend a lot of time at the rodeo. I thought it was your first rodeo. I wanted to get it all in. I made a day of it. Wow, that's so fucking interesting. Dude, I think I'm dying. I got this headache. I dialed the wrong number one time and got one of those guys.

Really? Yeah. I was like, this is wild. It's so crazy to sound like that. So they put a little microphone up to their throat? Or what? There was another speaker, there was feedback noises and shit. It's really scary.

Do you think if they put that, are you calling for me? I'm like, is this fucking Alex's house? Are you the... Are you his robot butler? His uncle that's visiting? Yeah. Is a robot? Yeah.

And obviously that was the wrong guy. I felt bad. Yeah. Because no one's calling him. No. My family hates talking to me on the phone. You know what though? Probably texting.

That guy's probably really good at texting. Yeah. He's probably gotten so good at texting. He's probably really good at sexting. Oh, he's so good at sexting. Yeah. Although I was going to say, do you think it feels good to put your... If it vibrates to put your voice box on a clip and talk?

Yeah. Yeah. That's what they do. It's a possibility. Yeah. Does this feel good to you? Dot dot dot, bitch. Why did you say dot dot dot?

I don't know how these work. I was confusing it for Stephen Hawking for a second. There's it. I would have loved... I wish Stephen Hawking were still alive because you know his chair would exist and like with like Wi-Fi. It would be like on Wi-Fi, right? Yeah. You could have updated and Stephen Hawking could be going and giving his speech somewhere.

And he's rolling his chair up to the podium. And he's like, good afternoon. I am so... I am so... Apologies. There seems to be something has gone a goofy with my computer voice. But because I am already here, we must continue the program. I am giving a lecture on getting side pussy from your nerves.

Black holes. Why do they call them that? By Stephen Hawking. Have you ever noticed there are too many coconuts but not enough bananas? I did not type that. I want to be clear. That is not me. There is someone, there is a trickster God playing jokes.

No, I did not say that either. Someone is playing a joke but... The witch doctor has put a curse on my computer. I'm not saying any of this. Please unplug me. Yes, I may be a celebrity and a popular target for pranks but don't forget I'm also a cripple. I did... That part was me.

If you guys are doing this, please return the bananas to my heart. I did not say that part. Then he just lets one racist one go just because he's got total cover. It would be cool too like before Stephen Hawking is like he has like a big speech or whatever and he has to go out on stage. Like secretly put like a fish hook under one of his sleeves and then you're in the rafters above the thing. He's on stage talking and you just take his hand off the chair and you make it look like he's jacking on it. He's like, I am not doing that. That's not me.

They're like, Stephen Hawking can finally beat off again. We found the cure. I bet it. Sadly it was yet again another prank. Just a prank. Someone playing a prank on Stephen's gay body. Damn, imagine really wanting to jack off and not being able to. Oh my god.

The world of tort. That's why he had to devote himself to math. Just because he missed jerking off so much. Yeah, you can't do that. They put you in a straight jacket and insane asylum. You can't beat off. You could call it a gay jacket because that's what you are if you don't beat off. Totally.

When you go without being off the gear, your thoughts get eye-fined. Did you know anyone that thought it was gay to beat off? Did you know anyone that thought it was gay? No. Oh, because it's a penis in your hand? I don't know. You would hear that argument every once in a while, but never from anyone. Not in good faith.

I think you maybe as a kid feel that way until you jack off one time. Yeah, you're like, this is awesome. And then you're like, this is great. I'm fucking gay. I'm gay, but I was thinking about a girl. How am I gay? Yeah, so how is that gay? My hand is only the gay part.

Yeah. I got a gay hand. My hand is gay, but my dick is so straight. My dick is straight in my brain. Because I was thinking about the Takara from ANTM, America's Next Top Model. I don't know what that is. She's a plus-sized model on that show. I jacked off to her quite a bit.

That's pretty cool. There's a video, a TikTok I saw of a little kid stealing his grandma's voice box and then using it to auto tune while he sings. It's pretty cool. It's really creative. That's awesome. And he gets yelled at by his mom or something. Fucking bitch.

Yeah. Fuck that bitch. I feel like you have to be Puerto Rican to have one of those. A voice box? Yeah, one of the luxury things. No, plenty of white trash people have them. Do they? Oh, yeah.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone with one in real life. There was somebody on my fucking block that had one. Outside of that one phone call. Because I can't imagine if I lost my voice box, then I would not speak. Yeah. You know. Yeah, this lady that I'm thinking of was just some fat old lady, white old white trash that smoked still.

And I don't think she talked that much, but she had one. And she just gave me some pussy. And there was a Greek guy that had it too. I made it to that one. Wait. Her voice could do that. I mean, I think it's only when you use an actual useful voice. What do you use for her voice is differently abled.

Okay, I see. But that that gives me how much does that thing cost? How much does that thing cost? I want one. I kind of want one too. Play that again one more time. It looks so fun. He's incredible.

I love that kid, dude. He's very, when you said little kid, I did not think someone that little. Yeah, he's little. He's like six. He's also more light skinned than I imagined. Interesting. Yeah, but I was picturing a much darker child.

I was actually picturing a white trash kid. Yeah, interesting. Yeah, so that's, that'd be a lesson. I'm trying to get rid of my sort of disdain for the light skinned community. Sure, sure. That's one of your big, anytime we talk about Nick, he's always talking about how much he has light skinned.

Funny of a, there's this thing right now that's like, don't get me started on them light skinned. On them light skinned boys. Just getting all the pussy. Get whatever they want with their green eyes. Speaking of getting pussy, you can do that. I'll blue chew her with. No, no, no.

Or what you want to bet. At mcweldon.com. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can get pussy from, you'll be taking your mcweldon underwear off to get pussy when you finally get it by wearing the mcweldon. You know, I had a fun thing happen.

You'll finally get pussy from wearing mcweldon that you want to keep it on while having sex and use the hole. I had a fun thing happen. I was wearing mcweldons. And the part that covered the penis was a darker blue for some reason than the outside part. And I was, after eating pussy for a while,

because I'm a gentleman, I eat pussy first. With a top hat on. I was eating, I had a bib and a top hat on. And a monocle. And the monocle popped off because once I see the pussy, I'm like, my word. And it pops off. So it's all part of the heaven.

It's all part of the production. And it was finally my turn to get my razzle, dazzle, theatrical, theatrical when it comes to getting pussy. Yeah, this is Stav over here. Let me see. Suit. That's exactly how the picture of porky pig naked other than wearing a jacket.

That's how he's always dressed. Anyway, my underwear came off. And it was a darker blue than the rest. That's stuff. That is me, dude. I don't care. He's so gay. Stav on a shot.

No, he's not. Take that back. He's cool. Look at the head of Stanley. I'm a faggot. That's what he says. I hear a voice and a speech in front of me. Stop saying that about porky pig.

Who I did like as a child for no reason. Did you? I did. I thought it was a nice guy. Anyway, I was asked if I had already come in my pants in my Mc Weldens because it was a darker shade. And I said no.

And so. And she was like, wow. What? Now I get even more cock. And I was like, that's right. The woman just meant like preparing herself to not look shocked that you came in your pants. No, she was shocked.

Thank you very much. She was like, oh. Because I made no indication my dick was very hard. And I made no indication that I had come in my pants. This guy is probably going to come in his pants. No, she said it like what? She was confused because of how firm my erection was. It was not the kind.

And maybe that had a little something to do with a different sponsor that I won't name right now because they are not paying for anything currently. Damn, this is Yosemite Sam, Roadrunner, Taz, Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester, Tweety, Porky, Tuxedo, Vest. It's awesome. I'm going to have to order that for my cousin's wedding. So anyway, my point is my cousin's funeral is coming up.

Yeah, I need something that shows a little bit of his ass, but it's still black and white. My loony dude's tuxedo. It's formal. It's my boss's daughter's funeral, man. That's her daughter died of juvenile leukemia. So she liked it. It's such a substitute teacher that you just

know is going to be tortured the second you see them wearing that kind of a vest. Yeah, but it's a man, for sure. If it's a man, that's that's what we call it. Fresh meat. So anyway, it's back. Well, the underwear looks like you came in to look like you busted, but then.

And so the girl for a second will be upset. But then guess what? You didn't bust. You have plenty of cock to give her. And you've made her night. So get Mack Weldon's if you want to pull the wool over a woman's eyes temporarily. It's polo season and the new silver knit polo is available

at Mack Weldon featuring the cotton blend fabric and anti microbial ionic silver design to keep you cool and comfortable from the golf course to the backyard cookouts. So it's for every race. Every race. I don't think they meant that at all. I think it's just no matter what race you are. You don't think Mack Weldon.

I do think I happen to think all their clothes. Stop. I think that's a little wild of you to claim. I don't think the copy that specific copy was saying that. I think that's more just a general. You don't think that that's what that means designed to keep you cool and comfortable. The two features of each of different different races.

Who's who's cool black people. Yes. And come white people are comfortable. Yes. Yes. Black people are always uncomfortable. I mean yeah. And it's socioeconomic sense.

Yeah. Usually. All right. What's the next part from the golf course to the backyard barbecues. Steph Curry loves the golf. Am I wrong. Tiger Woods likes the golf.

The question for the jury is am I wrong. The barbecue. What is it. And everyone likes the barbecue cookout. The cookout. Yeah. Anyway yes I do think I think Mac Weldon does want all races to use their their products but I don't think that's what

that the intention of the copy of the copy was. Well the name Mac is a traditionally black name. That's true. My art teacher was my middle school art teacher was named Mac Daley. How awesome is that. It was he good. Let's go to the next slide here as Michael Jackson

famously said it doesn't matter if your color is black and white. Mac Weldon clothing is for every race. That's explicitly I don't believe that. Can I see where it says you may have heard the famous porcupig impressionist. I don't fucking porcupig claim that Mac Weldon clothing is only for one race. I never said that but I'm not I'm not a porcupig impression.

Let it it says it says let us be clear. We're Mac Weldon and we're gay. We're gay and closer for everybody. You can wear them. We got underwear bottoms tops and accessories the accessories that seems to be mass cock rings cock rings a gator fucking socks and shit like that. That's pretty cool.

I do wear the underwear. I like it. Me too. I'm a Mac Weldon guy when I open my well I'm going to say underwear drawer but when I say the dumped out pile of clothes from the laundromat on the floor in the bedroom and I go through the section I've sort of discriminated all the underwear into.

I will use up all the Mac Weldon underwear. I have maybe four pairs and it takes me about I'd say 27 days to go through all four of those pairs. I have more and I like them. And they make my cock and balls feel nice. Yeah. Yeah. What about you Adam?

I have probably the most out of all you don't. Yep. And I've paid full price. I didn't even use the come to promo. We're going to use the promo code. We're going to do that. We're going to do that. How much I respect them as a company.

The Mac Weldon blue loyalty program for back and blue program where you get. Let's say you click on this here. It says get retarded with Mac Weldon blue. Well blue is our loyalty program full of insider perks. Savings and bragging rights. You are taking some liberties with this copy. I'm reading what it says on here.

Does that not what it says. I think it's rewarded with Weldon blue. Weldon blue is our loyalty program full of insider perks savings and bragging rights to be. Yeah. That's so was it wrong insiders. Huh. That's what he said.

OK. See it's not like you're not here the man. It's not like you said insiders. Why would you say that. That doesn't even make sense. OK. To become a member. Maybe your head.

You got a dirty mind coming to member. Just create an account and make a purchase to create an account and make a purchase. OK fine. I guess fine. We're going to click get started here. I'm going to enter my email address and then I'm going to sign into the website.

OK. Perfect. OK. I'm actually going to do that because I got to hold the microphone with one hand and text with the other. And I can only do that. I can only do that while driving. Or jacking off.

Yeah. OK. Let's go ahead and try to buy something and figure out what the free shipping on orders over $50 and loyalty perp. Wow. That's awesome. But I figure out what the promo code is by trying. I like this new method of figuring out the promo code by buying

something buying something. All right. So let's go ahead and put the just add the cart. The purple smoke flavor. I'm about to get those. Those are cute. Check out. Check out.

It's pretty sick. And full name. Where the fuck do you put the promo code in? You know what? In fact, I think you can just you can just go to Backwild and slash come town or some shit. They fucking. Let's see the promo code.

It's probably come town. If it's not, it's come town 20. Back of Backwild. And if you're looking at any of the underwear photographs to see what they look like on a guy, the ass is actually my ass. Can you see their cocks? No, but they show their tight cheeks.

And that's actually my ass. Your ass is a little as fucked. No, my ass is actually. You've got no cakes whatsoever. I'm a McWilden ass model. Yeah, McWilden from Sox. It's the men's genuine essentials brand that believes in smart designs and high quality fabrics.

McWilden shirts is the same shit. Oh, they were in Business Insider. Excuse me. Yeah, Business Insider. Come town 20 for your order. Visit mackwild.com slash come town 20 and enter promo code come town 20 to receive 20% off your first order. It's mackwild.com slash come town 20.

You get 20% off your first order. Beautiful. Versatility, technology. Suck, suck, knowledge. They want you to be comfortable. So if you don't like your first pair on the underwear, you can keep them. I'm sorry, what?

Man, they'll still be fine. Your first pair of what? I don't know. I'll forget what happened. So let's just not even talk about it. I like to wear the Stealth, the McWilden Stealth 8-inch boxer brief, which has a body mapping technology. Well, you like to wear it.

It's weird that they do all the sizes by the dick sizes. You have to measure your dick there. I get the 8-inch. No, you don't. A little snug. No, you don't. So you can fit his and his boyfriend's dick in the same time. Come on, that's unrealistic.

How do you feel comfortable? How can you walk around wearing one pair of penis? It's called being in love. One pair of penis pants. It's called being in love, player. I guess you've never been in love, Adam. I'm constantly in love. I'm falling in love every day.

Me and my wife constantly share clothes at the same time. It would be nice to just pretend I'm married and have a wife. Just complaining about her? Just constantly just describing a boring life with some person that doesn't exist. I want that, too. And then when people find out, like people don't even think twice about it, then they find out that I'm unmarried

and I live alone in the UPN apartment. And I'm like, wow, that is a tragedy. That's really depressing. I mean, that's worse than finding out he has a drinking problem. Oh, yeah. Without question. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. Maybe it's time I came. Now I'm going to piss. And then when I come back, we're going to talk about Ashley John. OK. Why don't you guys tell the guys about some t-shirts you can buy, Adam at com.town.

Sounds good. You can do the read for my t-shirt business. OK, so while Nick's in the bathroom, you can go to a website, com.town, and get some really exciting designed t-shirts. Oh, yeah. And you can also go to stave.biz and get some other t-shirts, and then we've got a couple nice new designs

coming soon. Also, I'm fucking going on tour, and I haven't really announced anything yet, but shit's coming. Let me see if I can find some of these dates. And nothing we have committed to bringing back our show. We're trying to figure out how to bring back funny moms. Hopefully, it will be soon. The target date is late May, but we will keep you posted.

Oh, yeah, here's what we're doing. We really miss doing it. I'm going to Portland, Seattle, the Salt Lake City, Denver, Comedy Works, Minneapolis, San Antonio, Cleveland, Phoenix, Madison, Tampa, Boston, all at the end by this year. Details coming soon. If you live in one of those cities, you can go check your comedy clubs.

It's probably just like laughs, helium, clarities, wise guys. I should be on the calendar, but a formal announcement coming soon. The veterans of foreign wars. Doing the VFW halls. Getting my dick sucked by some old vets. Damn, dude.

Yeah, so Ashley Judd, Nick wanted to talk about, what about this as an idea? Ashley jugs. And she's exactly the same, but with fat fucking tits. No, I just was trying to remember that clip of her on stage or whatever that event was, where she said the nasty woman thing. There she is, the nasty woman.

Yeah, where she could say. Oh, where she read like a child's poem? Well, no, Donald Trump called Hillary Clinton a nasty woman. And then Ashley Judd was like, I am a nasty woman. And I was trying to remember the line, because I couldn't. And what popped into my head was Ashley Judd saying, I am a dumb bitch. Yeah.

Yep. And that made me laugh. It made me laugh. Yeah. Laugh, honey. Your wife was like, that's just wrong. And your wife was like, Nick, you know I'm still with her. And I'm tired of you back talking.

You know, I'm voting for Hillary, and you're not allowed to vote. Because you're a felon. Yeah. You're not allowed to vote. If you want head for me once every two months. Yeah, dude. That's the schedule I'm on.

Yeah, you're on every two months head. That would be so horrible, dude. What, don't want to get top? Every two months? Like you're a prisoner? Yeah. Getting rations? No thanks.

Uh-huh. I went to a waffle house recently. I don't know why I do that. Every time I go there, I'm like, this is hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's bad food. Well, the food itself is fine. It's fine.

It's just a place. It's always like. Sometimes you catch it. They're like, let's just leave garbage on the tables permanently. Yeah, everything's sticky always. They should just put a sign up that says, please bust your own table.

Everyone would do it. It's that they have the pretense of their being like full service. Just admit you're a McDonald's. Can you still smoke cigarettes in a waffle? No, when I first went to one, everyone's smoking cigarettes. No, that's not true. I thought it was pretty cool.

You're lying. Where was this? When was this? I think in South Carolina, I want to say. It's fucked up because it's a full service restaurant. They do that so they can pay the waitress less. But then the waitress doesn't do any of the things that a waitress does, which doesn't incentivize

his people to not tip. Also, they're not tipping on a fucking like $3 breakfast. So it's like nothing. But yeah, I just couldn't find the Perkins, which is what I really wanted. I got something very perky for you. What, your nipples? My nipples, Dave.

I want you to suck my nipples, you fucking bitch. Dude, honestly, that is a power move. So make another man suck your nipples? Yeah, that's the kind of shit they do in the movie Chinatown. That's true. Yeah, I remember that scene. Yep, where Jack Nicholson. Or John Houston makes Jack Nicholson's stories.

That's a good movie, honestly. Yeah. When was the last time you saw Mr. Mulray? Well, maybe you could suck on my nipples and I'd give you an answer. I don't think so. No. Well, what if I held a gun up to your head?

Ted, would you suck them? OK. The movie Speed, but instead of a bus, it's a. Yeah, one of those electric cars. Oh, shit. Everybody's driving now and the bomb goes off immediately because it's because of the wires. Yeah, too many electricity wires.

So fucking true. There's too many fucking wires. The moral of the story is that we need to move away from electric cars from electric cars because a lot of stuff like that they didn't even consider. That's fucking true. Pop quiz hotshot. You got an electric car.

There's a bomb in it. It goes off right away because of the wires. He's got a point. That's fucking true. That's true. Can I see your pussy, Sandra? Yeah. I would like to see Sandra Bullock's pussy.

I haven't seen it. You have? Yeah. No. I have. From where? You just go up to her and ask her. Really?

She'll show it to you? Yeah. Yeah, she's actually very. She's really down to her. Unassuming and down to her life. Even though Jesse James wrecked that pussy, I still want to take a sneak peek. No, I don't care.

You don't? I don't think it's wrecked. No, I was right. He didn't wreck it, but I just don't like the fact that she fucked Jesse James. I was in my apartment. I don't blame women for their past. I was in my.

I don't own her. Back when I. Yeah, but I can judge her for things that I thought. When I lived on the upper west side, when I lived on the upper west side, I was like dumping a bucket of diarrhea out my window. They don't have plumbing. Well, it's kind of like an old school in New York.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how they used to do it. Air loom plumbing. Yeah, I dumped a bucket of diarrhea all over Sandra Bullock's head while she was walking that street and I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And she's like, it happens all the time. Then we got a picture together.

Wow. She's covered in your shit. She's really awesome. Yeah, dude. And I was like, wow, check out Miss Congeniali. Yeah, earned that nickname. Yeah, yep. The real life.

You're like, can I introduce you to Mr. Congeniali? And you have Mr. Congeniali written on your penis. In really, really small font. Mr. and Mr. Conge. Sorry, I ran out of space. Why do you have Mr. Conge written on your dick? I don't know. I've been waiting.

I knew you were at this neighborhood. I've been waiting with this bucket of diarrhea. You have to do a meet cute. Do a meet cute. My dick was bigger. That wasn't going to fit the whole word, Congeniali. My mom told me my dick was big. My mom told me my dick was bigger.

My mom would tell me that when I was a baby, I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And so I thought it was big as an adult. And what? I ran out of space. She's dripping and diarrhea, and she's like, that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Jesus does suck at your little epic coverage shit.

Mr. Conge. Mr. Conge. Mr. Conge. That's the thing that happened. What else did you tell her? Hahaha. Mr. Conge. It's really upside down.

Fuck you're running it from your vantage point. Yeah. Just extra space in the margins. You're taking those. All right. Okay, now I'm back. I did I did and put me and now I'm they put me in the zone for a second So that's the kind of stuff that could happen in a New York minute in a New York

This fucking city man, that's the type of shit that happens every fucking day. Yeah, I introduced her to my Well, I probably said it on the show before but I remember when Jesse James cheated on her that was like presented into It was news. It was something that we were like all supposed to be mad about right Yeah, and it's like what the fuck do I care? So I'm like yeah Marital dispute between two so also it's fucking Jesse James. You think that guy's not getting some trash I thought that he was a good guy honestly, wasn't he also like racist or some shit. Oh, I mean I Thought he would just at least be good. I think you're thinking is everyone else named Jesse That's true. I think you might be confusing him with every single guy named every guy named Jesse. Yeah

That is a fucking stupid now. I'm remembering every guy. I know named Jesse and they're all they're all pretty funny They're all funny and they're all racist. Yeah, I know like a really like a fucking Guy named Jesse. That's like, I think probably become rich racist like well It's one of the most standard types of races, but you know like who I think went to like Yale or Princeton or some shit. Hmm. He had curly hair It's I just think I could see him being coming a race. Maybe was he half black Not sure it's humble though to go by Jesse because if you're like if you're like a snob you go by Jesus You know Jesse isn't sure for Jesus is it? That's what I thought. No, you're you're late. You're joking. No, it's

Shut the fuck up. I know you're trying to troll me because you're doing that overly serious face It's short for just my give yourself away. It's just my face. You give yourself away when you know What's my not in a serious face? You know, you're thinking of so you're thinking about you're something good cool You did and you kind of have a vacant stare because you're not engaged. That's your normal face Well, I'm thinking about all the guys named Jesse that man. You fucked. I don't fuck. There's thousands of them What is just Jesse just the name like is it short for anything short for Justin Justin That's probably one of those ones where it's like it's like It's like short for like Thomas James. Yeah. Yeah, like my people are like, yeah, my name's dick

It's short for Richard. You're like, that makes no sense Jesse or a he shei Hebrew King or God's gift. Yeah, sure. Yes. It's very funny that they're up once upon a time They were Jewish kings is a figure describing the Bible's the father of David. We was kings actually. Yeah, we were all king We was all king of the we were and Israel was filled with gold And there was a library would chop babies in half Timbuktu was actually Africa was all Jew. It'd be funny. They were like the reverse Black Israelites the Israel black allies that we already did that one. No, I think we I think I pitched that as a sketch to something It's like Jews that were like we were the original blacks

And they just go out on the street and then the white devil you guys are just We're the real blacks The original truck the original fresh princes of Bel Air were all Jewish guys The first seven princes That's a notice. They say the Timbuktu used to be gold a golden library Sounds like a college and a bank to me. Yep. Yes, sir Yep, well, you can find the most of us today That's right part of the original tribes called quest. Yes, that's right

And how come I'm always seeing them at the club. Yeah, and you're always seeing me at the bank I'll tell you what if you want to see more of Adam Adam being sexually assaulted you can check it out at patreon.com That's right, and that's a guarantee. Oh, yeah, where we have a second episode every week We have a second tab We have hell and you know what there's so many in the fucking archives, too Yeah, we thought we thought that the show we thought the show had an audience But really it's people listen to the show for about three weeks and then they cycle out

Yep, so we get enough people to come in for three, you know, it'll be nice You'll see you'll recognize if you get the patreon and you fucking plow through for three weeks And then you're done. You're like Jesus Christ. What have I done with my life? That's stupid. That's fine I just can't pay for it for one month And then go to macweldon.com and use promo code GABA GOOL. We get a 10% off Customized Italian underwear That's how that tells you That tells

I should have had a couple more dr. Peppers before beforehand because my brain Is Filled with dog shit Yeah, well, I like to I like to I always like shitting when I go out I like to try out bathrooms and sometimes So I stuff my ass with dog shit that are always locked and loaded on the way to a date That's one of my big date tips is when you go out with a woman you as soon as she takes you back to her place You want to excuse yourself to take a long loud shit in her bathroom?

Mm-hmm because if you come out and she's still down that's how you know she's the one that's the That's the one woman to have sex with But I'm on a date. I like checking them for if see if they're wearing a wire Yeah, I'm like, sorry. I have to finger you to make sorry I gotta feel your body Because I'm actually a criminal I like to go through a woman's pubic hair with one of those inspection probes They use to check children for lies. Yeah. Yeah, that's my move make sure she's clean like it She's at Ellis Island or something. Yeah. Yeah, just go I go through a woman's pubes with chopsticks

and Okay I've already come in my pants It's just remember it. I have something to do. I'm wearing back. Well, no, I Use the chopsticks and coming your pants is so goddamn I'll never not be coming my pants. I don't think I've ever done it. Nobody's done it. You gotta be like fucking I've had some friends. I when we were young I've done a few people come in my friend Alice come Dennis pants It'll be funny to come in your pants or like dinner

No, it's we're like making out with a girl. You just said Benny Hanna and you yeah, that is hilarious That would be funny. Yeah, she's like you would come back to my place afterwards. You're like No, yeah, and then just some guy pops a fucking shrimp tempura in your mouth across the room That would be awesome. Yeah, that restaurant is so cool. I've never been in my life. What's really cool I've never been nobody. I used to think it was like fancy like what I'm gonna grow up and be a business It's a little fan. It's not fancy. I used to think that's where like King like, you know Yeah, Jesse the Jew Kings

PF Chang's Benny Hanna's King on Salomon rotating That'll do it. Yes, King up. What are the other Jewish Kings Adam David? Okay, that one's already pretty Jewish Go to the next one. I just know Solomon and David. Uh, I Don't know. I can't think of any others Yes, you've got you Shiva King you Shiva King pin pin yes, she wants 5% off her order

She yes, she wants to get a discount. Yeah Yeah, or the Jewish Kings, let's see Jewish King list Come on, pull it up Jeho ash Jeho ash Put the m word on the end of that one What you looking at and then that word and then the n word. Yep Amazia Um, I'm Amazia the how small your dick is. Yes. Yeah, that's good Jotham

Yeah, I'm a kill Jotham and then the n word again. Yeah Yeah, okay This is moves away from a bit words. Yeah, let's try and work this in the banks or coupons and now Oh, boom He goes he's from Rehobo. Oh, yeah, and that's just a follow-up to the last statement. Mm-hmm. Yeah Yeah, um Where else J who? J who

Yes, yeah Oh, it just sounds like a toothless guy owns a barbecue restaurant in Houston Just trying to speak a sentence about revenge that he's gonna get Yeah, one more name at him Ahazia ahazia Damn, maybe the black Israelites are right. I don't even know what these names. How can you hear those names and not be like These were black men. I mean they were black Jotham and ahazia for sure you

Nadab Nadab Nadab sounds like the first name of a quarterback for lsu the next one's like that boy The dob Williams There go then Jefferson go that boy Basha Basha Oh, that sounds a little too close to home I don't know

Yeah, black Dasha black Dasha, yeah, um, she's like, sorry. I'm late It's true the blacks to the black skater podcast That's pretty good. Thanks, man um Yeah, I think that now that has money and it's just like have you ever read the late psychiatrist? Oh, that's good. Yeah. Thank you Everyone's like everyone's like black in is late and they're like, yeah, we know they're like, no, I mean she's having a baby Oh, okay. Oh, she's late on her period. Yeah

Congratulations. Yeah Yeah Late, that's good. Um, why don't you pull up the red scare podcast so we'll go through their episode titles? We'll do the black version I think we're good on that. They have then Adam Likertis on recently Adam Likertis um Manasseh

Manasseh Manasseh, I'll say I'll say that's good. It's a fog going click horn jewish king Uh Jehoi Jehoi cam cam Kingoh-king oh walking walk in Phoenix. Yeah Jehoi. All right, man. Fuck Jordes. Let's get that here