The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 257 – clockstoppers

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

what if u could fuck a girl..

Are you say that again? I'm ready to have my ass fucked by you star Russ sir yes sir Wow dude are you fucking serious where we're recording suspect alert come on bro you can't mr. Suss full tiny penis full tiny penis the FTP market yeah god damn it Friedland what is wrong with your dick yeah I've never seen a dick so small last week we did the Simpsons we did do the Simpsons every day I'm not as familiar as Stanley Cooper metal yeah I'm okay a bunch of monkeys Barry Linden and your dick is small a bunch of monkeys like in the desert looking at a very small day yeah it's

tiny metal pain yeah yeah they can't even see it yeah they're squinting really hard all the monkeys their eyes explode because they're trying to see your penis coming out of the ground yeah bum bum bum bum yeah just Shelley Deval horrified looking at a piece of paper on a typewriter that just says Adam's dick is small tiny balls and small dick make Jack go crazy yeah what's the little dick's my name is Adam's dick my name is Adam's dick and I'm small who's that there that's your friend that's your friend you got there was it gone doc was that your friend doc your son can talk to Adams penis what's

that mean Adam's got the smallest dick in the world and only children can see it's only children that he comes alive in the hands so Adams dick haunts children's hands small dick oh one eighth of my nail really hurts what's with small dick backwards that's where I was trying to figure out kid kid lass or kid lambs right kid lambs small lambs kid wouldn't dick be or no that dick would be kid yes kid lambs kid lambs kid lambs kid lambs that kind of works you scary Adam kid lambs scary hopefully this will drive our audience towards the cinema now and

well you know what back to the movie houses because things are open let's fill up there thank you very much everyone who came to see Dr. Dr. Strange dick or how small my dick how I started to stop worrying about my balls you guys ever see the killing that's him too that's really good yeah that's good but there's not really like a identifiable that's about Adam thing just Adam on stage classic pulling his pants down clothes that's bombing for 30 minutes and then check this out folks and then the end it's like we're at the Harvey Weinstein trial how's your dick doing for in real life Adam because we've just pretty good

pretty good he's very different last pretty good recently not bad I'm learning to love him again are you getting hard nicely getting hard yeah I'm getting hard yeah freaks yeah yeah from here my dick has been getting hard getting hard from the dog sitting on my lap I'm getting hard all the time it's great yeah light touches brushing against strangers on the subway masked up well yeah I'm getting hard I'm always getting hard as Arnold would say in pumping iron yeah I'm always I'm always coming that's fucking awesome I'm trying to pump iron you know what I was watching so I was in Baltimore you know

what I'm clumping are I can't be one of the clumps although I will say the little fact that boy too big they're eating too damn much I did like the hercules hercules hercules absolutely that was actually now that I'm thinking about it that was a big that was a big move as a fat kid was to do hercules was also the truffle shuffle of course I kind of want to rewatch nutty professor I bet I bet it's good I haven't seen in a while yeah baby yeah the classic line from the night yeah baby mom mom mom mojo baby Janet Jackson was in the first one or the second one maybe the second one who's in the first one about the

nutty professor but it's a nerd it's nutty professor but it's a nerd and he drinks a potion but it's calm and well no then he's just like and he's just like bus and he's walking around he's just like spraying come all over the inside of his pants and people are like look how cool that yeah look at that nerd you know now that I think about it I'm actually pissed off at the night professor was because the original he goes from what is it's Jerry Lewis right yeah he just uncrosses his eyes basically yeah yeah but the second one why did they have to take such a fat photo well nobody was fat in 1950s but

come on you just Jewish that's which is a problem which is an equally bad health problem to have honestly I would rather be a fat non-jew than a Jew you guys have all everyone everyone's gotta deviate except them everyone's always hypochondriac or have real health problems whereas you know as a fact non-jew sure I'm not as healthy as your average as your average but also there is an element of inbreeding I agree it's just I'm cold because my BMI is low and I'm constantly having to defend Israel that's right you're using up to that community is always inbredding their own in-house

breading and frying common food Chinese food and deep-frying and re-frying it it wasn't done right the first yeah we're gonna heat it back we're gonna take out of me heat it back you know the way the way people like restore or antiques that's what we do with fast food yeah like this wasn't grilled correctly you're like working on your 57 Chevy today we're restoring a 17 minute old Domino's yeah did you strip the old cheese putting you later cheese over top and we're doing we're converting this one pepperoni oh yeah you got you're doing a pepperoni conversion yeah it's there I haven't had pizza so god damn yeah and

that's a little fucked crust pizza I would love pizza we should do we should go to we should go to Pizza Hut drive out the suburbs go to Pizza Hut play a little area 51 yeah dude that would be awesome yeah drink a bunch of orange soda the machine we need okay and then go bowling I remember in the movie in a hundred movie Mars attacks the kids got really good at killing aliens because they played enough area 51 we showed the practice we showed me the three of us go to the bowling alley and they're like okay two pairs of shoes and I see one of you brought your own bowling ball no I don't look like a ball I didn't know

what the angle was gonna be exactly but I knew you must be a real pro you brought your own ball I first of all I'm a grown man I'm a he's I'm not the size of a ball maybe if I was a little a smaller fat guy it was rounder and first of all maybe back in the day when I didn't have any hair maybe I could see this one but I am not a bowling ball maybe if you had said something like I don't know one of those machine you know those machines a little kids ride which was like you put 25 cents in yeah are you jacking off scratching my nuts no you look like you've been masturbating for last 15 minutes my nuts what do you want from

me I don't have the kind of soaps I like in Greek town I'm just asking you there was in the other side there was an article that said that apparently showering less in quarantine has made people cleaner really when that once again I've been no this is I gotta see you're all your science on this man who came out with a fucking Harvard or some shit Harvard you hear that so I don't hear how about this I'm none of us got into Harvard I probably could if I tried the I just didn't feel like it we got honorary degrees I got we did we bought we bought the shirt one of the favorite things about Epstein was that he was

like a Harvard guy but he didn't go to he didn't go there he just got the shirt he was like us he thought it was cool he was like one of fucking gay yeah by the way listen watch how you speak to me I was wait listed at Johns Hopkins your wait let W no no you get him but you're too fast it's true they put him on a scale he's crying it's a truck scale this is one of those truck weighing stages they're like what is this the last part of the interview why are we going all the way he's definitely got illegals inside of him yeah he's smuggling too small Peruvians and his ass I'm like no I'm just incredibly fat

just way as much as three people yeah maybe I should have just fucking sometimes I wonder what if I just went to Johns Hopkins waited it out doctor stop you would have been a real nutty professor I would have been a busting nutty professor I'll tell you that much that's good should we do should we make that movie the busting nutty professor it's kind of goes back to what you were saying earlier you sure you weren't wait listed it's no whatever it is no and what Tim Horton's yeah just because it's a name the Canadian like John's

Hopkins yeah exactly that's that's the idea long John's long John so long John yep big John's big John's boy no it's Bob's big boy big John's boy it should be another restaurant big John's boy yeah you got wait listed at Sloan Kettering hospital they said you're too fat to go to the hospital broke their hypocritical what do I then who sees me for the guys that does the elephants at a hippo bed his say shit say say what's how do you pronounce that word sat i et why et why I don't know that we're satiated school satiated like satiated yeah it's

satiated school satiated satiated yeah it's like satiated satiated what does that mean is that a fucking word like to be satiated the feeling or state of being sated satiated let me let me read it satiety satiety yeah that's your satiety can I see it in the I'm gonna count that as a good riff let's take you to the judges can I see it on satiety satiety satiated living one yeah satiety in the spectacle fuck that fuck that word that word sucks about however they say it takes the sh everybody's constantly snacking we live in a world with no discreet meals no one experiences meals they're just snacking there for no

and sated yeah I'm you know what I am never sated that's true it is true I was gonna say it's a mark of it's a mark of the obese no it's not we did some real fat phobic stuff on the wow on the the premium episode which is coming out this sunday it's always on the road that's so fucked up when I'm away you just attack my community no just the girls instead instead of you and the girls instead of you and bc stuff went to tcb why I would have loved to go to tcb why for four years just checking every day having a different cake yeah stop got mad that he got rejected from an hbcu because he thought it meant hamburger bun cheese

universe there you go there you go buddy I'm fucking pissed off what are all these black people doing a hamburger damn I do want a burger yeah in UMBC it's the junior restaurant bacon cheese a junior a junior I love that old tenacious these guys Western bacon cheese what is I never got that I didn't understand why that was supposed to be funny because it's like a guy that's wants to be on a diet but he's ordering a lot of food and so he's getting the small versions of everything but he's getting a lot it's pretty simple and the charm of jack black I think we can all agree he's so charming nothing better than a charming

fat guy so much correct two little mean gay guys you know I think that we can all agree yeah fat guys better than that yeah a little mean gay guy and his last name is black which reminds you of how cool black people that is another guy's got everything going for him that is another element to his personality yeah I'm thinking about Carl's Jr. I have yet to eat at a Carl's Jr. how is that possible because there's a lot of hearties we don't even have hearties no there's hearties on the eastern shore not not not in my stomping grounds yeah you have to go I got sick at hearties and poop my pants in the next week no

enrichment Carl's Jr. is the best fast food restaurant okay it's pretty good you can catch a good one Popeye's is the best yeah but they've had this conversation did you try to try chicken in its own category I suppose it is fast food but if I had to have one meal all I know is I'm going Popeye's and it's like keep that sandwich at four dollars shut the fuck up for a second Adam this is like being like what's the best sushi restaurant and someone names like a ramen place a bunch of little kids like stormed at the restaurant they had like a fagin they

had like an old man that like sends them out with candy I got mad at the kid because she's like someone tried to give the kid a dollar you're selling six Oreos and she's like it's three dollars wow and I was like that's a terrible deal for six or yeah it's a it's a it's a atrocious deal that's wild wait she was cutting us a deal on the Oreos who was this girl it was just a bunch you know like they send a bunch of kids out with candy to sell on the street yeah and then they return that to their you know to their to their fagin character like fagin the fuck is he's the the man the old Jewish man from Oliver twist who

makes all the orphan boys go out and make money in Oliver twist bro you don't have to watch it read it I'll never watch it there's a wishbone of it there's a lot of is fagin in the wishbone bitch hopefully I probably not because he doesn't seem like an essential part of the story young boys and orphan he joins a band of little orphan boys it's being run by an old Jewish man who's sending them out to so make money for him so there's like the kids are like we're raising money for our basketball team yeah that they're part of one of those fagin style scheme no one knows who fagin is fagin is one of the he's like

one of the old anti-Semitic characters and I appreciate I appreciate his like aspects like you know him and Shylock Shylock yeah the classic event so good that they kept the name around which is a great name yeah you don't hear a fagin but you hear a Shylock you think fagin's pissed I think fagin that he's got I think fagin got paid I think fagin anyway dude I don't know movies of Oliver twist you don't have to I don't know who fagin I didn't a lot of people don't know I guarantee a lot of people listening right now or like what the fuck is Adam talking about a lot of people listening right now don't know much let's be honest

it's kind of not so you were haggling with a little girl for I didn't get haggled but it did bother me that she was charging $3 for six Oreos too much money and then one of the other kids came back and she's I told her we already gave we already gave yeah please what did you buy I didn't buy anything someone else did some a weak person that was by I'm not gonna give them $3 for six Oreos you could give him a dollar just to be a good guy yeah I guess I didn't what's up you think they make money on that $3 Oreo I'm still thinking about

schools and schools that I could have gone to be let's see here okay in these schools yeah it's I mean how are we gonna play this because it's like we could just pick like like do we go to Tobler in Tobler in Tobler in yeah yeah that's where like already fat girls okay okay okay I'm hamford okay so we're just gonna fat in general yes doesn't have to be candy yeah hamford is good okay no see here and why you am like and why yum like in yum yeah what else you got am I sweet tea these are pretty good or

rio gone state orio gone state yeah that's good I don't like that fuck let me get to Lane Bryant all right the fat lady store yeah that's pretty good it is good but it's pissing me off because it's good I gotta be a fat lady I didn't go to Lane Bryant thank you very much you got weightless to this you guys wait listen to Lane Bryant I didn't want to go because I didn't want to major in a fat wearing fat lady pants that's such a funny concept for a story what it's like big big bitches that try to look professional nothing wrong with that as far as I'm concerned trying to look powerful in the work I'd like yeah I'd like to get

sucked off by a BBW and a pencil skirt you know I'm saying mm-hmm it'd be one of those jumbo novelty size pencils yeah yeah more like a what I was gonna say like marker but jumbo novelty size marker marker pencil a sharpie a sharpie skirt yeah nice pencil skirt bitch what is it like a big novelty size well if you if you're not enjoying the show maybe you should get high off smokable CBD I think you should get obliterated absolutely ripped off cushydreams.com smoke your CBD because you can luxury pre-roll joints an extraordinary smokable flower extraordinary is correct it comes in

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say I've been taking my no say ends yeah and look is he does he have as much energy as he is as happy as he used to be there over but he's not saying it anymore yeah so sometimes you have to fucking do trade-off oh no I accidentally took say ends all the time no fuck I've been taking my I've been taking my say ends every you got a spiked dose yeah I gotta I gotta the doctor says I got say ends the doctor saying I got say ends I got say ends I can't stop I can't stop doing I can't I got chest pains from my say ends I gotta say it too much I can't help it's like sweets I know I should know you know I should only do

one a day but I can't help myself new Honda say ends fifth chance financing so sweet a deal you can't help yourself to say that's right the brand new 1997 Hyundai say ends damn room imagine what a 97 Hyundai is looking like right now mm-hmm think anybody's patrolling one right now anybody's whipping a 97 I don't know I saw a Saturn the other day in my neighborhood very I completely forgot about Saturn yeah oh fuck yeah there's no they just they just went out of the gym just like canceled half their brands I was like the first one to go that's fucked up yeah Pontiacs don't exist anymore what what am I what I want a

firebird yeah too late yeah bad dude you're also thinking of the burrito I'm not I didn't even know that was subconscious yeah so you think the reason I wanted fire because there's a part of my soul that's when something is named after a restaurant collective the collective collective fat yeah you might have a cafeteria honestly young called it I have wanted I have wanted a fucking firebird since I was like 13 yeah there was I think I've talked about this there was a lime green firebird on a dundalk lot for a year some for some reason it didn't sell I don't know why he told this story I know that's what I'm

saying so that's so maybe maybe from the time it was a little boy I knew fire bird was the type of burrito yeah what are now just since we since we did broach the subject what kind of burritos do they have over there and where is it available the same kind of burritos they have literally anywhere you go that's not true anyways cause she dreams.com could come down dude that is not true burritos are fucking vastly different places you go Kedoba versus Chipotle versus what's the case so is the place the place no there's a qualitative difference versus the place they used to be open that was

awesome that's dead now you're saying all this and all I'm hearing all I'm hearing is ching chong ching chong I miss Lucia Lucia once again Lucia Lucia was incredible Lucia Lucia was high college fries and burritos it was good so that place was so good that I got food poisoning from there twice and I would still come back I would still come crawling back I remember when Chipotle got queso and stop and I went to Chipotle yep we're like oh god we gotta we gotta see what this is all about I haven't had a good burrito in a while dude there isn't the Mexican food in the Mexican New York so Lucia Mexican food here's fucking gay

no there's one really good place you go to Cali instantly contradicting his self you're the one for the most part it's really bad and then Nick says it's bad and then you're like no it's actually good accent you should see when you guys aren't even here what it's like what's it called I'm furious at myself I you are you went there there's the place in Jackson Heights and they just added a second place stop here I went to dinner with Woody Allen no I didn't he saw Woody Allen at dinner really yeah that's awesome dude it's like talking and soon yeah and soon you were just like get the fuck out of here two

tables away from us are you joking I'm dead serious whoa that rocks he came out of this cave would you say you say I'm a big fan of yours not so much of your films I was like there's this guy Adam I know that like he does this whole thing where he goes he didn't say this he got coily does this like Woody innocent thing he does with Michael Jackson too it's really no Michael Jackson actually is shut up Adam and Woody Allen was like do you have any corders and I was like wow aren't you like a billionaire you guys like I can't stop I can't help myself I can't help myself it's part of my rapist my rapist yeah rapists are

always trying to save money I'm saying I'm saying that because he's a rapist by the way yeah yeah not for any other yeah there's no other reason we're disparaging Woody Allen or talking like that we were doing a rapist voice a smooth criminal it is so funny when you say Michael Jackson didn't fuck kids no Joe Jackson chemically castrated it was a child didn't have sexual function he was like a he was like an angel sent from God did angels have genitalia I don't think so the ones that know it did they had big old dicks really yeah either an angel should have a smooth or should have a giant huge cock awesome yeah

massive but doesn't get hard it's too it's like an engineering mistake I would God make like Dr. Manhattan yeah yes exactly that big floppy blue thing you just want to how about nurse Manhattan and it's Dr. Manhattan he's got the blue dick but then also a big pair of tits yeah sign me up that'd be cool what it is I got to live on the moon because everyone's trying to fuck me yeah because I'm as people just keep trying to fuck with this nurse Manhattan look the same way in the face or does she have the same way in the face but she's got the nurse hat on yeah nurse hat jacked big big don't I'd like big tits

cute big dick you're gonna be manhandled by nurse that's what your dream is not really to be sponge bathed and manhandled by sponge bathed and sucked off now we're talking about Alice from from from a super jail that's your dream woman I don't think I've seen super your mind your mind is suppressing your memory of it because you know this to be true I would like I just said I'll get sponge bathed and sucked off I have no problem with that I don't know about getting manhandled sponge baths square pants I would prefer to do to do that if someone's got to get manhandling I would prefer to do the manhandling yeah I

don't particularly want to be but sometimes the lady does the manhandling I've never really fucked anybody strong enough to manhandle me actually that's not true I've got my my head my head squeezed pretty vociferously while eating pussy with some very strong thighs it was pretty tight actually like a zine and stuff honestly yeah and that was awesome yeah but for the most part no the women that I have sex with are not capable of manhandling me I'm sure you have definitely fucked women make a soft dream wow she look good no no I don't think so yes that would be a good look for you

stop dating a fitness lady dude I'm so in but she's got to be strong of course I don't have a problem with that but that's the thing psychologically I would have to be powerful to not get manhandling would have to be my cunning and my charisma all the ladies I've had sex with are incredibly strong but on the inside you literally strong people tell me you you've definitely fucked at least a couple women that could beat you up hmm just mostly because of how frail you are I fucked a lot of women that have beaten me you're just getting backhanded by the fucking little ass girls

I'm experiencing what's the largest woman you fucked like the biggest just in Jen I'm not just saying fat I'm saying in general just powerful how about that most physically powerful hmm I think in college in the laundry room my door yeah there's a big girl she pinned you down your ass powerful so in a wrestling match she would have beaten you at the time at the time possibly yes I didn't start weight training at that point I was still on the tail end of puberty at that point freshman year college who was his girl we didn't really even say any words to each other just kind of happen no shut up very erotic I masturbate to

the thought of it are you fucking serious you're in a laundry room and you just fucked a stranger it wasn't fucked okay it was a third base or oral pleasure you were okay yeah did you you want to get better than sex you only got your dick so did you eat pussy too wow and can't believe I'm saying this is awesome Adam I'm pretty cool that's pretty cool yeah yeah so what oh that's here around kind of and you will you ever hook up again no never hooked up wow it's nice that's magic it was very nice that would make that was honestly that would make me believe in God that kept me going for a while

absolutely yeah that's huge I'm so happy right now shout out to her she's very nice that's so cool and what happens you guys you know it's college nice college but it's like hey what's up but it wasn't regular college like you know toga party everyone getting laid old or me getting laid all the time I wasn't getting laid all the time so I'm just one of my few sexual experiences that's huge and that's so and she was and she was like stout she was she was built she was taller than me yeah yeah she was solid you would say she was driving the encounter you got your dick sucked you were chose a vibe thing it was hot a

vibe it was a vibe heard in the fucking thing late at night doing laundry how what time we're talking 1 a.m. yeah like to do oh my god it was hot and you just start talking I think return to light the light off who charged light off maybe me maybe her I don't remember light goes off light goes off and then you start kissing kissing a little bit of kissing and then there's no talking I don't I don't remember clearly but no I don't think that I don't think there was a lot of huge the whole thing last seven I think I came immediately oh I think I came so I think I came very fast I still come very fast so yeah dude that's

huge yeah I know how about this you still beat off honestly I'm gonna beat off to honestly that might be my peak my entire life I think it is yeah she just the vibe that might be about the vibe and she's sucking you off I don't know first her vibe my vibe it's very very hot I think I'm gonna not to disrespect you anymore than we usually do here but I'm gonna say I appreciate the company you're making me feel really now I'm going to say that you did you were it's a little bit of right place right time oh yeah I think I was not in control I think you caught her in a real dick-sucking mood and the guy and God said Adam could use a

W right now it was an accident let's get this fucking rugby player to suck is let's get it let's get him to grip on us some fucking huge shoulders it was it wasn't an accident if you're out there I think about you it was beautiful yeah holy fuck no it felt it felt nice I'm so anything came my back to my dorm didn't really say anything to anyone I'm so you just sleep that's incredible put on a just put on I put on the either the movie waiting waiting oh that's a bang with Ryan Reynolds of course or grandmas boy I was doing that dude those and you know my Dell on my Dell laptop a kid that was watching those movies mm-hmm

nothing could possibly be better than randomly getting your dick sucked to the laundry that's seven minutes my life oh I'm so jealous dude pretty cool fuck pretty cool trying to think it's very spontaneous you know that stuff happens anymore we're adults I mean you're not where you're gonna you know also we're so we're so famous now in a bathroom bar we're such celebs now like a gas station usually I fuck anyone yeah I mean that I have fucked pretty much whatever I want to fuck a woman I do yeah I show them my Ridge wallet and that gets their pussy's going they're like what is that a solid gold wallet and you're

like zip I say that's exactly right and I got a ridge wallet calm which this just sent us a whole bunch of shit yes they did we got the duffel and maybe you guys can talk about how nice the large backpacks are I can't really stuff as you remember there was a battle of wits last week and saw I've lost I can't really speak to this one with I'm sure you've used it I have used it and I put my power bank in it and a cord and I was on the go the other day and I was able to charge my that's great my phone and use it that's great and I'm happy for you and it's kind of nice too because you have the cord coming out of the

backpack so you feel like one of those guys in like in a like World War two like calling it like that they need air support or something you're the communications guy with the backpack pretty cool that is cool now this is definitely Adam with that I think well there goes a mentally retarded that's that's pretty much what you look like I say there goes one of the gayest guys I've ever seen cool back cool backpack though yeah the backpack rules the guy he's gay and you can decorate it with different pins and stuff yeah how do you should see the kind of I have one with the American flag and the Israeli flag

crossing yeah there's only weird on the lapel 18 karat gold one which I took for myself yeah but I gotta get the duffel you don't need the duffel you got the you got those right next to you but the duffel now has other stuff no you said it why are you getting a backpack and the duffel why do you get the 18 karat gold you can have one there's in there in the bag if you want to wallow you can take a wallet how about I listen I'll take the bag home to check the wallets I want the bag contains other items that's that argument is such a Jedi mind trick attempt on your part just because there's other

things in the bag you could put the thing somewhere else and empty the bag perfectly in the bag you have a lot of bad what about your old backpack you don't use I'm using them to cat sleeps on I'm using the bag I got the little backpack to do brand work your company I'm going around handing out the products Ridge wallet yes so you got a side deal with Ridge wallet now I have a side deal where I do additional marketing for them by handing out the products to homeless people okay well listen when it's empty since that's what you're doing well you can argue with the homeless man that ends up with

it stealing from the homeless you're stealing from the homeless again well what are you gonna put in there candy that you're gonna eat in one day anyways I'm gonna check the donation being go back to I'm not I don't put candy and duffel bags mm-hmm anyways this this this gold wallet is very nice it is nice I have to say it's to get the money clip the cash strap they all got the money clip in the cash and it's made out of money but I really like this thing I've been using it for for years now because I had a regular let me just take a look here what are you going through the bag you told me you just

told me I could go through the bag I know it won't oh yeah you can do that but don't look at my medicine you don't have any medicine I do have medicine in there a lot of people don't know there's little dick pills no they don't know that I'm dying yeah and now I'm actually a hero for continuing to do the show despite the fact yeah he's like the guy black panther guy yeah I'm like for taking the knife all right take the knife you're giving him a knife fuck you Adam dude I was gonna buy you guys knives I know you were and then I couldn't crave I couldn't find the Jewish knife I see your knife no fucking I was

trying to find the kind they used to do the circumcisions mm-hmm that's more of like the ridge Damascus what's this I have no idea so serious open it up and find out yeah take the knife and open that up anyways ridge wallet promo code come town or come town 20 do you remember what it is I think it's 20 but I don't yeah it's come town 20 free shipping and returns on all orders wow a black blade yeah yeah you fucking check the operators be careful with your finger dude you're cutting in a very unsafe way now that's cut away from yourself you're about to stab yourself it's a metal wood grain or it's an actual wood

no it's metal yeah metal with a wood grain interesting weird look I think I'm gonna go full rich full-time ridge wallet you know yeah they're nice what is that what I see that little microfiber cloth no I just want to clean my glasses no yeah they're not for cleaning glasses what they're microfiber cloths you can use it for your glass it's not they're not maybe your large backpack came with the mic to wipe off the residuals burned in image of a man's penis it's like the way like a what is it like an LED TV if you leave it long oh that's what happens to Adam's eyes I want to you're buying it I haven't yet a CX that you got a deal

on because you know a guy I think C1 how much does that cost I might I might have a deal so what's the cost um so I'm gonna call him and I'm gonna rich wallet dot com they it's your if your birthday you get an 80 million dollar gift card and something you buy the wallet it's guaranteed shipping they guarantee they guarantee they absolutely will ship it to you they guarantee that it will come in the mail this thing where it says get 15 to 19 dollars share this offer with friends they get 10% in their first purchase and you can earn increasing rewards wow so go to Ridgewall dot com use promo code come down or come down 20 I

can't remember which one it is and I never will that's our promise and it's a great product yeah and it's I'm really enjoying the price you really enjoying my new duffel bag as well which I will be taking this day see this what you did you fucking idiot nice taking the knife the wallet and the duffel bag you could have taken the knife yourself it's been in your house it would have been unfair everything I've been trying to be here because I felt bad that stopped one of the back no you're an idiot everything stayed fair sorry that I simply leaving it all in there no it wouldn't have been fair what do you want Adam I just want to

see what's in there here I'll hand you the stuff I love how I'll hand you everything in the duffel bag Adam you're taking see what's in it okay here's another one I like this one but I I don't know I'm a wallet guy yeah maybe rich wallet guy what are you doing sorry that's that's the story of the show and I'm a wallet I was in between wallets and they sent me one and now I've never looked back that's true and I you know me I do plenty of looking back we should sell your old rich wall I do nothing but I don't want all of them just put it in the no oh put it back in the duffel bag now Nick's gonna be mad

there's gonna be garbage there's gonna be shit all over the place put it all back in the duffel bag another bag next week I'm coming with a shitty bag just just just ask them just email them and ask them to send you a duffel bag you don't need this are you using the duffel bag the duffel bag is filled with the rich wallet shit which is being distributed to there's only like three to the socially enfeebled people there's only three wallets in here that I do work with the penis fully enfeebled yeah they're also getting stuff you're also getting condoms yeah I'm bringing condoms hundred percent I get this one

or the other one or the Damascus we guys think I like the gradient I like the metal gradient I'm gonna get this one yeah do that one go to Ridgewall.com the products are beautiful folks they have a great line of products it's not just wallets mm-hmm and the backpack I got the little backpack and I have to say it's pretty good too as well it's nice and because it's little it's like you're like a slut girl you're like a little slutty girl it also helps stop with dieting because if he had the full size he's gonna get I wouldn't fill it with candy there's gonna be I wouldn't fill whatever bag I have with higher

roasted pig he would have had just a liquid he puts the bag down there's an apple rolling across the floor yeah it's true yeah now you can just fit two hams instead of the entire pig I'm off the fucking pork I'm on that shit I'm off that shit that's good I'm on that Asalaamu alaykum type shit right now dude yeah no pork actually that's the lie I guess I actually haven't eaten pork in quite some time because I mean a lot of seafood and when I want to treat myself I get a little fucking beef I went to the the hand roll place in decal market so good it's bigger now too they got a larger menu they got more

now you want to go after this I have to go home and FaceTime my friend we're working on something gay porno it's a gay porno it's a gay porno over FaceTime yeah we working on do nothing I don't talk about it well if you want to hear what Adam's working on check out his town premium yeah I did mention on the premium this week so I was on the road for it so we can't wait we say a lot of anti-greek patreon albanian what pro pro anorexic pro albanian slash hometown yeah there's an extra episode there's an extra episode every there are about 300 episodes on the patreon feed I checked this week and as you know

I am dying and Nick's dying so get enjoy this while you can like Chadwick bozeman yeah it would be funny if you guys continue doing the show but you probably would that's kind of how everybody works I don't know I think I would feel kind of weird Adam would keep doing it yeah I'd be keep doing it alone of course I'd act like you guys Adam would do some kind of hostile take over or just bleed the patreon dry yeah yeah like I would insist on being entombed with both the ridge wallet duffel bag and Adam just somewhere just people they're laying the bricks like smithers yeah exactly like smithers oh

baby I want to fuck yeah not when one of those hand rolls are burrito or so you right those hand rolls are very good I'm down to go what's a hand roll it's like sushi that they don't cut yeah I see yeah yeah thank you eat it immediately in the Nori is extra crispy and you tip it it's it's it's so good that's fucking the fucking eel in the salmon belly there fucking I'm Sam and the Toro yeah fatty fatty salmon very awesome oh no that's Toro's tuna Adam's Adam had to say he knows the word yep but guess what my PD bomb squad called in to examine the package where all traffic around the museum is being which museum hopefully

the museum of get it wait why why that one it's not in that's not in New York on the other show oh yeah it's talking about the African-American museum just being like a regular museum but with like a sort of like an African-American team so it's still like y'all ever see it electricity yeah yeah y'all want to see some old paintings yeah some Dutch shit mm-hmm the Ben Frantz Dutch masters the guys from Dutch masters they call this shit Trump lay oh lay let's chop lay away I don't know it's the only thing I learned in art history class I think it's something that looks like it it like it is in real life about our wordstery class our words are words

right now yep you know how you can do like women's studies in college you should be able to do retard studies yeah why can't you do it we're studying the history of retards that's why I don't understand why you can't like if you can stay yeah if they're like yeah but this is what it's been like to be a bitch throughout history right right well how about being like a retard or let's see famous retarded people uh champagne and I am Sam yeah that wasn't even a real guy's writing your thesis on I am Sam the special the women's Olympics yeah I guess there who are the I mean I guess they were like monarchs and stuff who

were probably mentally enfeebled yeah yeah I guess yeah if you look this up it just seems like guys they used to put in the circus unfortunately it's not really going for well you can write a thing about the circus you write a paper about the circus it was funny back in the day when like P.T. Barnum at his like museum of bullshit in New York and they have an exhibit called the what is it and it was just a retarded black guy yeah they put in a gorilla costume no just kept in the museum god damn dude he was he was a genius of spectacle well but then there was like like contemporaneous accounts of people being

like you know they have this exhibit called the what is it and it's clearly just a mentally disabled guy from Virginia it's like even then they weren't like wow what is it they're like oh this is a retarded person in prison what about Asperger's that's probably people are saying Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was an Asperger's guy that's true Isaac Newton Jerry Seinfeld well I think Seinfeld admitted that himself history is 30 most inspiring people on the autism spectrum here we go Dan Ackroyd Megan Fox hands Christian Anderson Benjamin Bannaker oh the clock guy of course Susan Boyle Tim Burton Henry

Cavendish Charles Darwin Emily Dickensuck Paul DeRoch DeRoch Einstein Bobby Fisher yeah it's all really smart Michael Angelo the New York Herald ad tells the reputed story of the creator of Nintendo's Pokemon so they capture and process of civilizing with Barnum called the nondescript the what is it exhibited presented in an African-American man is the link between man and monkey Jesus Christ what is it open at the American Museum shortly after the publication of Charles Darwin's origin of species and at the height of political tensions over slavery in the US the exhibit claimed to prove that Africans

descended from monkeys and thus merged supposedly objective scientific findings about evolution with ongoing antebellum debates over racial definition hmm yeah yeah pretty fucked up if you ask me Daryl Hannah apparently she's autistic I don't know Asperger's that's cool barns promotional material for the what is it claimed that it is the opinion of most scientific men that he is the connecting link between the wild native African and the orangutan well Kinsey the sex guy the yeah you need to have a scale Kubrick back call back to the beginning of the show yeah yeah okay nice Tesla Andy Warhol Elon Musk yeah

probably damn well congrats you on the front of the show for finally will long overdue we've been we've been a lobbying for that for it's it's nice to meet a certified meme Lord that's the best thing about his fans is that they think he's really funny look at this picture of Adam I found that's not me that guy that guy's got a button no if I looked like that my mother would be my parents would think I was such a good boy yeah if I was just a you do look like a bow tie sweet young man you do look like this guy Sam Humphrey is like a weird baby adult Sam Humphrey is a New Zealand actor from Frankston Victoria Australia's best not

yeah I guess he's 27 and he's four foot two nice these Adam what's he been in the greatest show me the greatest show man this is Adam for sure it is you yeah Adam are you hearing that's not me it's you it's you there's no you can't dispute it he looks exactly like him he looks just like him we looked at the pictures and it's some really amazing stuff it looks exactly like him it's him apparently he started the 2017 TV film Jeremy the dud yeah so check that out check out Sam Humphrey which in what I'm guessing is Australian or New Zealand television well Adam's been watching Barney and friends lately yeah do you

want to do you want to tell us about that what's this it's it's mostly about socialism these days there's a lot of everybody do you share yeah everyone do your share this this shooting in North Carolina has to be horrific it looks it looks it seems as if it's really bad yeah well they did they already declared the state of emergency but you never you can never really trust the cops they might be it might be like one thing where it's not as bad but they're doing all this to get people to riot beforehand they're like doing the video it's not that bad yeah wow the genius cops yeah I don't know it's sort of the Joker what

was the situation it's like a middle-aged guy got shot in the back we're gonna release the video we're gonna make it a couple of days later so we can have gay sex with each other we're declaring a state of emergency so we can have gay sex damn what was the situation he is just some guy got shot in the back randomly by a cop yeah looks like they get a traffic stop or I don't know I have no idea I'm gonna both see when we see the video so keep keep your eyes peeled for that keep your guys peeled for another cheney trending I think her pussy fell out oh yeah I did it let me look at let me go to CNN.com oh no it's

something else oh really yeah well any day now proud rodeo mom soccer mom baseball mom hockey mom dog fucker and constitutional concern that's her Twitter bio yeah weird she must have honored to serve the people of Wyoming and Congress and also have sex with golden retrievers you know if you were to pick a dog to fuck there aren't some like like a marmot a marmot duke type dog a big ass dog dog with big ass digs you know how to have sex with pit bulls yeah powerful strong people no I don't know she retweeted this woman is like posted some woman that they're Ronnie a woman that got fucked up by an acid attack but

look how hot this woman is that even with the acid still still yeah she's pretty hot she's too hot even with her half her face melt kind of got a Harvey Dent situation American women could never yeah she is sort of like a two-faced kind of a two-faced a two-faced bitch in fact it's like it might she probably you probably overlook this woman if she wasn't like that because you're like gosh she's that's just a pretty lady right but now a little bit of acid a little bit of Monica in my life yeah mom but number five

well mom but I gotta get my dick sucks by a guy you don't fuck may I kill you I I have a gun you fucking bitch Don't try anything funny. What was that guy's name fucking Lou Vega Vega Vega? That's correct That is correct. Yeah, I Lou Vega you to suck my dick as well Bum bum Yeah, he was German

His name was David Lou Vega Yeah, he changed his name to Lou Vega. Wow They got a lot of black German guys over there. Yeah, we think that's from soccer No, well, aren't there like a bunch of American German black guys because of like war Yes, I thought this guy was American service. I thought this guy was fucking Cuban or something. That's what I thought too His mom's Italian his dad's black that are you see that does kind of Cecilian and Ugandan. That's basically Cuban No, that's just more extra Italian

That's just double it down. That's just making a Sicilian even more Sicilian That's true. A half Sicilian half black is 100 percent Sicilian. That's true It's 110 percent Sicilian. I too have seen Yeah romance. I don't want to I had those opinions before that You know a little bit of penis in my ass, you're actually Lou Vega You ever hear that song mambo number five That's about you dickhead I'm not black

How about oh this guy is good. Thanks, man. Oh no those trace a little bit of Monica suck my dick a Little bit of penis in my mouth a Little bit of balls on a lady named Monica just a just a pinch of having balls So it's still a girl. Maybe she's got maybe one ball But the rest is a pussy When I say a little bit of Monica, that's what I mean A little bit is one of her lips droop all the way down mambo one ball mambo is a dance Will you suck a guy's cock? I

Think Dude I'm about to chop your cock off. I'm gonna cut my cock. I'm about to double-circumcise you with this ridge knife, dude Dude, I told you my my neighbor converted to Judaism three times Like reform conservative orthodox. He had to have three circumcisions. What the fuck is this doesn't make any sense He got his force can cut off. He's a Mexican American man He was forcing cut off and then the next time they have to just draw blood to have a count as a circumcision So he had it three times get the fuck a little slit on his on his cock. That's not true. It's true, dude So you had to making that up

Why don't they just prick it? I Don't know if it was a prick or a slit. I didn't ask to watch this adult male decision. No, I didn't But I she did I understand that he had three Ceremonies I heard it was the rabbi drew blood with his teeth. Mm-hmm. He broke the skin Well, what they do is they put a they put a dime On the tip of the penis and then they pull the foreskin around the dime and then the rabbi bit bites around the ridge of the dime That's how they sever it. No, and then the rabbis eats the foreskin and the dime That's what I heard, too. Yeah, is that true Adam? Would you say no you put a dime on top of the foreskin?

And then you try to flick it over your head the expression drop a dime on them comes from Mm-hmm, if they're for to a dime a baby's penis part of a baby's penis and also money Yeah, as a garnish as a tree Maul's gonna eat a little baby's penis The model doesn't want to eat the baby's penis. Yes. God is telling him to do it. He's not enjoying Enjoying every second of it. It's what God needs that man. And why because Jewish God is a fucking Dwydy Helen type guy, you know, I'm saying because she dreams customer Fuck a little bit of penis in my cheeks

Fuck dude. I'm trying to Stop are you gonna start playing harmonica anytime soon? No sunglasses are monica. Yeah. No. Yeah, that's not happened That's the next move. No, the next one. Actually, I don't know. There's got to be something between here and full bald pony So maybe they're saying like John Popper kind of vibe sort of yeah I'm not into that scene. That's your scene. That's not my scene at all. Yeah, he said I'm done with hip-hop and all that crap I'm getting back in a blues traveler. I've never I can't get back into I've never been in it He said when you were a child, I never was I was into Elvis. I told you that guys that

Yeah, but I'm not I was never in a blues or any that some like it fat He wasn't even in that movie. Yeah, it was. It's just an old movie. Yeah. That was Marilyn Monroe. I'm like being fat Some people like being a big fat A little bit of fucking pussy cream By Bob Bob, I gotta fucking shit shantilly ladies Don't cut it, don't cut it, don't cut it, please. Extra cheese, a little bit of bacon, oh baby that's what I like.