The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 259 – the shores of hell

Episode Date: May 12, 2021

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That's it, Gromit. Suck me off. That's right, Gromit. Fuck my ass. Keep sucking, Gromit. That feels good, Gromit. It feels good to get my penis licked by a dog. Very good, Gromit. Fuck my ass. Bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim-bim Watch out, Gromit. Those chickens are going to fuck my ass.

You better fuck it first. I don't remember the plots to any... to any of Wallace and Gromit's... Yeah, this one opens in Grom... Wallace is reading the newspaper, and Gromit's like looking scared at the breakfast table table. And then he drops the newspaper down. He's like, Gromit. And Gromit's like, you know, yeah, like this, the cereal bowl kind of shakes. He's like, did you know? I don't know how to read. I'm looking for pictures of guys. Cox in here. I've got a new invention and he turns the newspaper around and there's just a picture of guys. It's a big print out

of a guy's. Isn't this awesome? It's a way to look at gay porn instead of reading the newspaper. If you don't know how to read, Gromit, you can look at a guy's penis. That's a great invention. Isn't it chap? In fact, I've came up. I've come up with another invention while looking at it. It's my cock. It's getting hard, Gromit. It's hard. And then he puts on the pants and walk for him and to go like three feet across the room was hard. And his dick's just pose. And every time he's bouncing, every time his dick is bouncing a little bit on his balls, his dick's hard on Gromit's face. You know what to do, Gromit. It's that time, Gromit. It's Brecky, Gromit. Somebody needs a serving of my cum, Gromit. And he's

like, what's a dick suck without a little bit of cheese? I'll get the cheese from the cabinet so you can suck my dick, Gromit. Yeah, like a diving board. Every time it takes a step. He's got a really nice hard dick. And now with the cheese, does he does he like that kind of catapult? He opens up the cabinet and there's no cheese. Yeah. Come on, man. You ready for television? I don't remember. I don't remember. Walson Gromit. Gasp! Gromit, there's no cheese. There's no cheese here. Maybe the mice took it or something. It's been stolen by blacks. No, wait, what? I think if it had to be stolen by somebody, and I'm assuming it's the new Caribbean neighbors. I'm going to go next door and ask. Nobody

forgets to put his pants on. Remember, it took on an insert of all the newspapers, sex criminal who fucks his own dog arrested for indecent exposure, for racist attack on Caribbean family, accusing them of stealing his cheese. Wals is in jail. Gromit's having to take care of the house. Right. He's got to find other guys to suck off because now he's addicted to it. And then Wals gets jealous. You have to run out of one of the bedrooms to a cat or something. Right, right, to make rent. Then they fucks the cat maybe. No, then there's a woman that lets her cat eat her pussy or something. That's good. Or the Chinese neighbors to try to eat the cat. So this is like kind of a grittier. Are you is your mic on? I can't

hear you. I can't hear you. No, I guess. I guess we'll just have to. What'd you do? Well, in classic Adam style, you've done something. Yeah, I know, but you took your headphones and you did something for sure. And now you've derailed all the awesome momentum we had on gay Wals and Gromit, dude. Notice how check check. No, I'm not. Notice how me and stop no problem whatsoever. Yeah, no whatsoever. It stops off his day, guys. Gromit, you have to get me out of jail. So I can fuck you Gromit. Gromit's like trying to make him keep his voice down. What's that? He want to suck my dick right now. He's got it through the bars. What are you doing, man? I'm fucking my dog. I'm an inventor. Yeah. So is he fucking with

dog behind the bars? Gromit's begrudgingly licking his penis right in big like ice cream. Yeah. You can do better than that, Gromit. He's been doing this since he was a pop, you know, we went to the moon together. Was it all the inventions are like steampunk kind of right? The man who molests dog and a man arrested for racial attack and dog sex led off by reason of insanity. After announcing he went to the moon to fuck his dog and they were attacked by a vending machine. They have a romantic picnic with his dog lover. Now what are some other plots? There were some chickens, right? That's the movie chicken. There's three. There's three. As far as my memory can recall, there's three Wallace and Gromit movies. So

there's no chickens involved in Wallace and Gromit at all. That's chicken. That's chicken run. Wow. Maybe I've never seen Wallace and Gromit. No, there is there's some of with there is some I only know. Yeah, I never watched it. I only know that girl that gave me a butt job looks like Wallace and Gromit. Yeah. Yeah. So there was that girl that let me do the hot dog and the bun and I busted on her back. Now you're horny posting and you're pulling us away from sorry for being horny. Wait, wait, wait. I feel like horny misses. I think the covid crisis. Adam killed a great bit. Did you know I had sex one time? Yeah. No, it wasn't sex. Where did you come? No, we eventually started having sex. She woke me

up by giving me a butt job. Oh, I see. I say if the genders were reversed, it would have been inappropriate. Why? Because I was with the genders are reversed. Yeah, you are not a lady. Yeah, you are. Listen, is it inappropriate to get hard and have your dick between a girl's butt cheeks when you're both in a consensual some kind of relationship? She got into the bed. I was sleeping in. Oh, really? Yes. Oh, I see. Yes. So I'm saying if a guy did that to a girl, and you had never you had never hooked up or you weren't hooked up. Really? No. So I'm saying if the genders were reversed, it would have been well, that's female privilege. Yeah, it is female privilege. They get to like rape just a bit. They women get to rape

just a little bit more. And that's fair to rape. They get to just they get to just sort of rape. Yeah. And I think all things considered, that's fine. It's fine. It's not ideal. Yeah. That's where the the 27 cents of their paycheck goes to. Oh, I see. No, to rape privilege. They're tax. Yeah. Anyway, sorry. Where were we with the problem of getting any fucking the dog lick the top grommet put my whole penis in your mouth grommet. That's it grommet a little bit of teeth. Show me what you're working with us every once in a while. Go ahead and break your neck on it grommet. Take it to the base grommet. I want to see you your eyes water grommet. That'd be cool. A doctor probably lick your butt. They lick

my balls way. You suck on my shaft grommet. Throw it all the way down and then lick on the bowl. Sounds like fucking doing the boys that you guys are doing. No, no, no, no, wrong. Adam, you're actually gay. He's ruining the bit grommet. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So I didn't even see the show. Yeah, but I'm a fucking natural, bro. I know I'm going to come show about appreciating your time. A guy getting his cock stuck by your dog. I'll learn fast. You don't need to see the show. I'll get up to speed fast when it comes to that. I just want to acknowledge you. Thank you. There's three shorts. The first one, they go to the moon because the moon's made of they run out of cheese. They run out of cheese so they

go to the moon. Maybe I've seen that one and they fly to the moon and then there's a vending machine that lives on the moon that you know, I guess he wants to go to earth to go skiing or something. Okay. And so he's trying he's trying to attack grommet Wallace and then eventually they go back to earth. The second one, they have to rent out a room to make ends meet. And it's also grommets birthday. So Wallace makes those pants to walk for. I remember. Yep. To walk grommet automatically because he's too lazy to walk his own dog. Wow. And I don't actually remember that. I remember. I remember from the bit you just said earlier, the penguin rents out the room. And grommet doesn't trust the penguin, but

Wallace is an idiot. Right. The penguin steals the pants so that he can walk up to side of a bank and break in and steal money out of the bank. Respect. And so the penguin is the Jewish landlord. It gets blamed on Wallace and he goes to jail. Yeah, he goes. He does hard time. But sorry, it's blamed on grommet and grommet goes to jail. The dog. Or maybe I don't know. It's blamed on one of them. Right. Baby, let's not get in. Let's not get into the details. Okay. The third one. There's a bitch. Oh, nice. Oh, they get a bitch. Wallace has a crush on. And she was a yarn. And we see her suck his cock on camera. Yeah, she's brown. Her father, her deceased father was also an inventor. So Wallace invites her over

for cheese. Oh, fucking Freud. And she says that she like she doesn't like cheese or and fucking like whore. Yeah, Wallace loses. He beats her to a pulp. She pushed me grommet. She was being a whore. What would happen? She was she pushed my buttons. Sometimes you should be allowed to hit a woman. I'm a faggot. Now get back to sucking my car. Now I'm gay. I'm gay and I'm I'm gay because a bitch didn't like cheese grommet. I'm Ryan shot. And I'm Barack Obama and I'm Obama and I'm gay grommet. That happens in the third one. And I haven't talked to shut and made since he moved out. She owns a yarn store and her dad was an inventor. And she has this is like a factory where she made. No, she looked like him. She looks

like she looks like him. The factory where the yarn is made or something and her dog is actually a robot. And the robot is grinding up sheep to turn into meat for him to eat for dog food. Whoa. Well, that's dark. What the fuck? Oh, you know what? She's kind of hot. We see Wendolin, right? Can I see here? I don't know. Lady Campanula Tottington. Can I see a picture of that girl? Because it might have been the game. But that's the girl that gave me the budget. Yeah, I know. She got she wearing a heavy red lip. I like red hair. I'm a fan of red hair. Now it's this bitch. Oh, she stinks. She's fucking gross. Oh, dude. What's her name? Wendolin. Wendolin is a fucking dog. Wendolin is a certified fucking piece

of shit. I wouldn't fuck Wendolin with your dick. Wendolin Rams bottom. Yeah, no, I'm not ramming no bottom. You fucking on Rams bottom. What's up with Lady Campanula? I'm trying to get my dick sucks. Lady Campanula. That's from another one they did after the movies, I think. Lady Campanula. Or I'm sorry, Lady Tottington. Campanula Tottington. Attending her vegetable garden. These are her hobbies holding vegetable competitions. I got a fucking zucchini you can hold competitively. Actually, not even for the love of the game. It's a little good one, but it's flavorful. A family no information friends Wallace Gromit Hutch enemies Victor quarter main who looks fucking gay, honestly, and Philip who let's see what

he looks like. Oh, it's a fucked up dog. Oh, wow, if you ask me, Wallace should be trying to get pussy off lady, whatever the fuck our name is. Yeah, this shit came out in 2005. I don't know what the fuck this is. Oh, they made a bunch more of them. Dude. Oh, wait, he's got a different girlfriend. Chelsea Joe's. So what she looks like. Yeah, I heard he was dating Grimes. Grimes is fucking Wallace. Oh, wait, no, Chelsea Joe's is just with him for the money. Oh, Chelsea Joe's is some guy named Matt Wallace is a golf named Matt Wallace Matt Wallace from Wallace and Gromit. No, I think it's a golfer named Matt Wallace. Oh, this was a whole move. Oh, they made a bunch of whole ass Wallace and Gromit movies. Really,

we got a lot of to catch up cracking contraptions. It was 2002. I don't know what the fuck this is either. Oh, there's a beat. There's a blonde BBW. He seems to be seems to be Wendell in his honestly fucking brutal is fucking disgusting piece of clay. How dare they make this bitch that unfuckable. Yeah, I'm saying it pisses me off. It pisses me off. I'm mad. Adam's ideal woman. No, that's emo Phillips. She doesn't. The fat blonde the fat blonde lady could get it though. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm trying to think of a real life equivalent of Wendell in a matter of death. What the fuck is the blonde bitch's name? Oh, I see her pictures, but I don't see her name. Yeah, fuck. Bless you. Bless you, friend. You know, when I watch

Wallace and Gromit, I can't help but think there might be something wrong with the idea of man letting the dog suck his. That's that's why I have to call my insurance company Liberty Mutual. Okay, so apparently the all the zoomers that all of our big zoom zoomer fans don't know anything about Wolford brimley. No, no, and they're worse off for it. I know your Lancet your medicate. You can crush is a guy just being like a diabetes. Yeah, you say diabetes pile of bake. Well, she's a BBW. She makes him pies. She looks like she could suck a nice prick. So I like her better. That's who you would get head for the red head for short universe. The redhead, but I would take paella and Nick says the dog Liberty Mutual

protects you in the event you ever went to win Rams bottom. You're ever a rape. Really? Yeah, Wolf of Brimley here. As you know, several whores accused me several gold digging. I've been mated by several sluts. And they've come after me and my money. Liberty Mutual killed all of them. Call made them all disappear. $15 a month. I called them up and I said I'm being muted by sluts. Me too. And they shot him with a sniper rifle from 350 yards away. That's pretty cool. Wow. I would think you'd want to make it look like an accident. Wilford a black sedan in the gas. Yeah. What's a black sedan? It's what happened to that cop. There's a black sedan on Long Island Expressway. Yeah. Your Greek friend, dude. RIP Anastasius

and give a heads up. No, dude, respect the dead brother. If you give a head, we really go in this, uh, this, this, the Sunday episode coming up. We really take a deep dive, which if you want to listen to, you can check that out at Patreon. Go to patreon.com. We discussed the tragedy of the cop slash come down. If you want to hear more about Wallace and Gromit. Oh yeah, we do. We do our special Wallace and Gromit, uh, rewatch podcast. Yeah. Fuckless and pussy. You don't understand how the show works. The fuckless and pussy. That's the name of our cats in the cradle and the silver spoon. Fuckless and pussy. It's good. Anyway, yeah, we do a full bonus fuckless and pussy podcast on there. We do the, we do the bonus

one first and then we get, uh, we eat too much and then we get real warmed up for the regular, the regular one is we want to be hot for a hot. We're fucking for our advertiser. This is basically tungsten right now. This is, this is just, uh, this is just a, uh, you know, this is just a vessel for ad sales. Exactly. You know, exactly. We care about our sponsors. Dreamworks pays us $8 million a week to advertise the Wallace and Gromit. Yeah. Just got off the phone. Katzenberg. Listen, we're trying a new way to make even more money. Jeffrey, what's wrong? I just remembered. I have trauma from it. 15 years ago I was on my way to the grocery store. And when I got there, the coupon, I clipped

out of the newspaper and followed out of my pocket on the way to my car. And when I got home, it wasn't in the driveway. Oh my God. And so I accused my servant of rape and they executed them. What? And they did it by electric chair. And when they went, they found it in his pocket afterwards and it was justified, burned. It was a just and I couldn't use the coupon. So you know what I did? I bought the entire grocery store and I had my own coupons just for me printed out that I can use. Wow. That's awesome. And sent to my house. Anyway, so it's about Wallace getting his penis sucked on by the door by the door. And it's the message should be clear. Christian children do this. We want the whites and the blacks missing

and then pitting them against each other. And listen, whatever you say, you write the check will say whatever you want to squeeze in something about the Uighurs. What are these because China is doing their own Palestine now and we people should be focused on that instead. And we're pissed. Yeah. How did they should be focused on that Palestine instead of the instead of the class, the one hours, the one that nobody care. They really are the one that doesn't exist. They're going the fuck off recently, Adam. There you have to say. Listen, I didn't get my briefing. Yeah, to be clear, I didn't get my briefing before the show. I normally get a briefing from Israel before every episode and I didn't

check my email before this one. So I'm kind of lost. But I said, you know what? It's a complicated situation. It's a complicated situation. It's very complicated, really complicated. And they're have dealing. So I saw that there were clashes. They've been having clashes. It's tough, complex situation. It's, you know, this, this has existed for 2000 years. This isn't going away any time. So true. Yeah. And there's there were clashes. Yeah, there were even clashes between people trying to live in the home they've been for their for generations. You saw a video of that guy. They said Lur being confronted. Yeah, that guy from Brooklyn. Yeah, the big fat guy. Yeah, the fact that if I didn't steal it,

somebody else would. Classic Israeli exit. Like a guy has clearly been there for 20, like for 10 years or something. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, that guy, maybe you should go back at him. Go back. What do you mean? Back? Back from where he came from. I'm not from Israel. You spent a lot of time there. I've been there. Yeah. Didn't you do it? You worked in like so. Okay, construction. You could go back. Listen, if you've been somewhere, could you go back to it? You had a job like blocking ambulances and Gaza. Yeah, that was your camp. I yes. Well, no, I drove bulldozers. You went to Israeli bulldozer camp. I got a job on one of my dad's sites. Okay. Listen, call it nepotism. It's fine, but you accept

that. You could call him that, but you also had the ski wanted me to get his summer job. Okay, so he put me on one of his cruise. His bulldozer cruise. I didn't know I was just following orders. That's right. You were just following orders. Yeah, but yeah, the podcast that comes on podcast dances that is free Palestine free Palestine official stance. That's our now suck my dick now, Robert. Thank you. Let's some dog pussy now back to sucking my cock. I want some dog pussy grommet. Look, I'm wearing my special underwear. My Mac Weldon underwear makes my penis even more delicious grommet. Mac Weldon is the official underwear of Wallace and grommet. I love pulling my cock out of my Mac Weldon underwear so

my dog can suck come out of it. Uh huh. Mac Weldon is the official sponsor of Wallace and grommet and the official sponsor of getting your dick sucked by your dog and fucking your dog. The kind of guy who fucks his dog. Well, I don't know if you guys know this, but when a dog they have so many anti microbes in their mouth. It's cleaner. That's how I clean my penis. So when you get your dick sucked by a dog, it's fucking sparkling clean. And then guess what? Good news because anti because fucking blue or Mac Weldon has a fucking line of anti microbial underwear. So you get it from your dog's mouth, which is clean as clean as can fucking be and you put it right into the anti microbial underwear. Your dick is

pristine like it just came out of your mom's pussy. It's it's which happened from birth by the way. I'm not insinuating you fuck your mother. One of the nicest ways to fuck a dog by the way. It's clean clean brother. Clean dog. Fuck clean. You fuck the dog's ass or pussy first. Then you put it in the mouth for a little rinse and then you put it in your Mac Weldon silver anti microbial line of underwear. That's right. And I have to say folks, Mac Weldon has saved me this weekend because we had a bit of a plumbing issue in my apartment. And my landlord uses, I would say maybe the worst cheapest plumbers of all time. And there was a my shower drain was slow. So we called the plumber and somehow

he clogged both showers in the apartment after not only did he not fix my slow shower, but it was clogged in your shower. And now and I had to spend the whole weekend without shower. I only showered but once and thank God for Mac Weldon's underwear because it kept my cock smelling fresh. Yes, as fresh as can be in those circumstances. And I got to say I wasn't I wasn't too fresh because it was also my brothers, my brothers were turning 30 this weekend. So we went out and we ate like fucking animals. So I had a lot of shit coming out of my ass pipe. And my dick was unwashed. And even still, thanks to Mac Weldon's high quality underwear. Yes. I smelled like I smelled beautiful. And that's

what they call the premiums men's essential brand that believes in fucking dogs and high quality. Thank you, Michael. You may believe that fucking dogs is only for white women. Right. That's true. So we're not gonna argue. You're right. You know what? I want to let you know that you can actually fuck dogs with Mac Weldon. It is just for white women. This isn't one of those ads that tries to tell you what you don't know. Right. That's right. So it's agreeing with you. This this ad just reaffirms. Mac Weldon stands with the indigenous and black women populations of color that rightfully acknowledged that white women fuck dogs. Right. That's right. Now that that's out of the way by Mac Weldon. That was for

Canada, by the way. We had to say that. We'd like to do a land acknowledgement. A dog post of dog penis acknowledged a woman fucked a dog here. White woman. White woman back when this was a shonies. Yeah. In 1996, this is a shonies restaurant. A white woman fuck a dog here. Mac Weldon. Stop shop for basic socks, shirts, hoodies, underwear, polos and active shorts, whatever you need. You know, it's funny. It's like, it's probably some white lady's job to like clip these like send them to the accounting department. Be like, yeah, they did. They did that. I guess they said this stuff, but they added a couple things and listen, I know about the Karen stuff. I don't want to make a big right. Right. But

they are like, we want jobs and then they got jobs and white guys are like, all right, we'll make up fake jobs. That's right. They make nine times the money and aren't even jobs. We're just a couple steps ahead. Yeah. That's why that poor lady with her fake podcast. Mm hmm. Anyways, true. You're going to want to get on the Patreon to find out about that. Find out about that story, which is we broke, by the way. We broke it on the Patriots exclusive. We broke it on the Patreon in four days. Four days, five weeks after it happened. I'm one stop shop for men's basic socks, shirts, hoodies, underwear, polos and active shorts, whatever you need. Mack Weldon as you covered, unlike the assortment of department store brands

that make up your top drawer, all of Mack Weldon, the basics of a consistent fit that you can count on. That's right. I hate what I hate most about my other underwear is it's always changing size. I hate that. I prefer an underwear that isn't the same that fucks me in my ass. Well, you sound hot, dude. Sexually. Mack Weldon is just a police. Yes, I'm gay. Get him, boys. We're tracing you. Stay where you are. I can't tell you who I am. Sir, please, are you near any cock right now? I have to suck dick to live. Do you have any cock near you, sir? The fabric technology Mack Weldon offers a wide range of customized fabrics and can keep you no matter, keep you, keep up with you no matter what your day looks

like. That's very interesting, sir. But are you having gay sex right now? Promo could come down or come down 20. I can't remember which. All right. Keep your ass in mouth where I can see them, sir. No, you don't. What? No. Take the shot. Take the shot. I can't hear you anymore. Yeah, turn your eyes down. I thought I was trying to figure out how to do that. Oh, there you go. That one's cool. Yeah, it's cool. That's like a it's what it's like when he goes kid rockers getting the pit and try to love someone getting the pit and try to suck my dick. Damn, that's a cool sound. We should all sound like that.

You want to? I do not add. No, please. Good night. Yeah. Okay. Damn. Hell yeah. We're on the phone. Get in the pit and try to love someone. What's up, everybody? What the fuck is up? This is clean, dude. I like this sound. Yeah, we should we should we should fucking switch it up from now on. Just sound like this always. Yeah. So it's like me and cyber having we're old friends having a private phone call, right? And somebody's high recording it and talking to himself. You know, he's gone. Oh, yeah, that's good. There you go. It's FBI agent. I love having a secret phone call with my best friend. Yep. Yeah. And I'm the only one gays listening. If they are listening, I hope maybe they can remember the promo code

for Mac. Right. Come down or come down 20. It's come down or come down 20 and they have created a totally free loyalty program. A level one gets you free shipping for wife. Once you reach level two by spending $200, Mac will need to be 20% off every incredible stuff. I'm already a member. It's a great deal. And I'm about to go order. You know what? This just reminded me I'm about to order even more underwear for my cock. That's great. Yes, it is. I really actually enjoy the way this sounds. Is this better audio or no? Sounds good to me. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, shit. That's me. That's me. Someone's recording from inside his own ass. Who's that? Hello? Hello? Hello? Wow. I like this. Now he gets interrupted

by himself. Now he knows how annoying. Okay. If you dig a small talk with an echo. We'll keep doing the rest. Yeah, I guess we'll just keep talking. Listen, if you guys, that rule applies by the way. If you guys, if you guys don't like the way this sounds and you want it fixed, like here, we can do this. We're just, that probably sounds annoying. Oh, yeah. If you don't like the way this sounds, check out his only in the left in the right. Patreon.com slash. That's a great. If you want, uh, hey, what's up, mama, can I see a fucking dig? Tell me a secret. Stop. Dude, that's nice. Softly. You can sign up for the Patreon. Sign up for the Patreon, you piece of shit. Sign up a chicken out. Um, where the audio sounds

like this perfectly clean. So clean. No more, no more bullshit. Nobody's sucking me my dick is fucking large. It's like, no, it is small, small. I have not gone, have sex with me, well, good underwear, even better piece of pussy. He's a pussy working the fucking boards over there. Shut up. You're dick is small. You got to talk with an echo. We were giving a little taste of, uh, what the, uh, I know, that's why we did it. So now you know. Now you know. No, you're very quiet, very quiet, which yeah, uh, versatility. Guarantee Mack Walden wants to be comfortable. If you don't like your first bear underwear, you can keep them and they'll still refund you. No breastions. That's awesome. I hate breastions, but I love

breasts and breasts, the breast question. You're listening to the breast question podcast. Uh, Angela Lansbury. We're a titties big. Yup. Next. Let's discuss arena. Let's discuss that. We found as many pictures of her from as it from her youth as possible. Uh, everybody know murder. She wrote, but murder. She do she fuck murder. She sucked penis. She sucked murder murder. My penis, maybe penis. She sucked. Yeah. You know, I'm looking at some young Angela Lansbury. Uh, I would say aren't big, but they're not small. Angela Lansbury and I've buried my glands in her fucking. I love that. Yeah. I really liked that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. You know, yeah. Angela could get it. Marissa Tomei. Does she got, does she suck

dick? Marissa Tomei. She wanted to suck me off. Yeah. The Marissa Tomei. Adam, relax dude. Can you, we're having a conversation, dude. I wish Marissa Tomei would give Pusta to me. So fucking true. If you know what I'm saying, I mean, I do. Yeah. I read, I read you loud and clear house. Nobody can make you normal. All right. There you go. All right, back. You're back. Nice. Too loud. If you ask me, yeah, make me quiet. Let's give you a little girl's voice. Why? I don't sound like a girl. Whoa, that's perfect. He sounds like a girl now. Yeah. He sounds exactly. What do you mean? I don't know. Whoa, dude. That's a great effect. No, it's not. Adam, is that you? That's my four year old girl

with a really small pussy walking. Well, of course she's got a loose pussy. No, I'm sorry. With a really loose pussy. With a loose pussy. Yeah. She's got a huge pussy. What? No, she just was born with a big pussy. What's that? Was I Trader Dad James? Yeah. I was going to try and just see if I could find the little ad lib from that song. Tell me this one for my niggas. Nice. That's close enough. That's cool. Oh, the ad lib was just the ad worth five times. Okay. It's a great line. It's a great, yeah. I would definitely, you know what? I would fuck Angela Lansbury and her youth, even though she always kind of had a bit of a, I was sweating. I sucked dick and I fucked guys. Yeah. This song for

them gay guys who fuck me this summer. Suck the penis. I'm sweating. Damn, this song is probably like 10 years old. That's wild. Definitely. Time just goes right. Angela Lansbury. It's funny how fast. Are you still looking? I'm just checking how fast that moves until some do the podcast. And then it just feels like it's a really good photo shot of an old woman with Angela Lansbury's face and her pussy. Yeah. Spread that, spread that pussy and that. She looks like she's fucking like, you know, one of those like raincoats that turns into a bag. She's, she's, she looks like she's taking an air mattress out. Fucking get in the air mattress ready for grandchildren.

This one for my gay guys sucking penis all night. She was kind of hot looking in one movie. I don't know what it is. 48 hours. No. Samson and Delilah. She's got a little bikini on. Angela. Angela, bro. 1949. Yeah, dude. Yeah, we just won the war, dude. Time for Angela. Time for it to show some fucking bush. Now I'm looking at Sally Kellerman's news. Now I'm looking at the Heady Lamar. I would love to get head Lee, get Heady from Heady Lamar. Adam, why don't you, why don't you run the show from 1932? Damn. She was showing Titty in 1932. Who? Angela Lansbury? No, no. Heady Lamar. Let me see. Fuck you. Come on, dude. Why don't you run? Why don't you run the show while me and Stahp looking

pornography? All right. For a change. Watch the dual double feature this weekend. Watch. Shut the fuck up. What? Coming to America. Midori is new. I don't know. Is that the Royal Penis is clean? The Royal Penis is clean. Yeah, that's cool. That is, that is one of the coolest things that's ever been said in a movie. Um, yeah, I watched, uh, you've got mail followed up by what women want little nineties. How about, uh, you got Braille and Meg Ryan is a blind woman and Tom Hanks is like, ah, here, eat this hot dog. Don't use your teeth. Yeah, just kind of put your lips. I've had hot dogs before. I don't think this is hot. Ah, it's a hot dog. You've got Braille. I'm raping a blind woman. That was that would

be a good take on that movie. Yeah. You've got Braille. Uh, I'm gay. I'm Tom Hanks and I'm gay, but I'm still raping this lady for some reason. Well, the movie is like, I'll say this incredibly enjoyable. I love that movie, but morally incredibly questionable. This guy destroys her career, destroys her. You've gay sex. And then he finds out that his friend from online is this woman that you are gay. And then he continues. He continues to catfisher for months and then at the end of the movie, I sucked cock. You're gay. I remember AOL. Yeah, I remember that. What are the kinds of shit that the AOL guy said? I'm gay. I suck dick. You've got cock. I'm trying to find it. This is what I typed in.

AOL Slate's gay meeting. You had a meeting with AOL, Adam? No. I didn't have a meeting. Anyway, so it's, it's an incredibly enjoyable movie. Also her, her boyfriend before she gets with Tom Hanks is Greg Keneer. And he plays like a DS. You've got mail. Yeah, that was it. He plays like the DSA cuckboy. And he like writes articles in the newspaper about how I'm ill with Edwards. And 22 years ago, I recorded a very well-known catchphrase for AOL. Oh, I'm gay. I'm sucking a guy's cock. I'm Graham Elwood. And 15 years ago, I contracted HIV while having sex with children. I didn't know who to tell. So anyway, and I was molesting kids. On the other hand, I didn't want to dive in. One of them gave me AIDS, I guess.

I accidentally fucked a child with AIDS. You're right. So we were kind of even on that one. Oh, you wanted me to talk about my time at AOL. I thought you just meant, okay, all right. Yeah, I said the thing. It sounds like you're making fun of this guy. I just got an email. You've got mail. Welcome. It all started when my wife, Karen, who worked for Quantum Computer Services, overheard Steve Case talking about adding a voice to the then upcoming AOL software in 1989. So she volunteered my voice. And on a cassette deck in my living room, I recorded the phrases that you've come to know, such as the way we got emails, you've got mail . So I went on to record. Welcome. You've got mail files done. Goodbye. And what started

off as a test has continued to this day. So that's the story behind the catchphrase, which, well, I have a certain amount of trouble trying to escape. Hey, Elwood, no one gives a fuck about your fucking catchphrase. Let me guess. You have new email? Goodbye. Damn, what a cool video to produce. You've got mail. You've got mail. You shaved your ass for me. You fucked my ass. Can you produce that video? Can I see your pussy? AOL's in house. And by pussy, I mean penis. AOL was doing comedy videos like 20 years ago. I remember that. You remember that? Yeah, yeah. And they would like had like Alec Baldwin and shit. I don't remember that, actually. Yeah, I knew a couple of comics that like wrote for AOL. Oh, wait,

yeah. Didn't Yannis have like a sports show on AOL or some shit? Possibly. You've sucked cock. Yeah. Oh, this is this is turned gay. Hold on. This is great. I've discovered this by accident, but this is one of the most depressing headlines I've ever seen in my life. Guy who voiced AOL's you've got mail could be your next Uber. Oh, no. Brandy Barker hopped in an Uber and got the surprise of her life. No, she didn't. When Elwood Elwood Edwards, who the fuck would know Elwood Edwards? Stupid name. How about Elwood and words? Yeah. Lesbians. No. Your question. The answer is no. Come on. It's his name. Okay. No. Overruled on that. Thetical. What's your name? My name is Elwood Edwards. You've got mail. You've

got pussy. Oh, shit. You know, he drives an Uber. He drives an Uber. He doesn't have enough money to afford or put money into his Ridge wallet, which he can afford. Why? Because it's so affordable, very affordable, but not cheap. Right. Well, the best thing to be the best thing when things are quality, but affordable, quality, but affordable. Grandma, how funny to send this picture. He just didn't have pants on. We've been pinching pennies here since my last job in 1995. I kind of got drunk with power after the AOL thing and started beating my wife and cheating on her, which I did. I used to say the catchphrase into girls pussies. You've got mail. You've got gonorrhea file done. I fucked Angela Lansbury

off. You got pussy from Lansbury. Yeah, the recording a test tape was accepted and since become recognizable nearly anyone who used the Internet in the nineties or watched a certain Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks film, good movie, big penis, big penis. My dream is to have a big penis. And that would happen. Yeah, I want to play a piano with a big piano with my big dick. Yeah. We're gonna I need surgery to make my dick big enough to play piano with it. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. No, that's the stick your big dick on the piano. Big ass dick on the piano. Take your big dick and shove it in my ass. Put your balls on the keys. Fuck me. I'm a fag. I love the way you fuck me in my hands. That old

time. What are we talking about? Ridge wallet. Ridge wallet is it's a is a streamlined credit card sized wallet that holds all your little fucking I use it personally. It holds all your little cards. Yeah, all your cards, my Costco card, my NRA membership, my wildlife conservation society membership, my, my, my good guy who deserves pussy card. Yeah, which you got ironic gag gift. No, it's a real gift. No, it's a real gift. I don't saw my real one. I donate $25. Because you saw my real one. You got jealous. I donate $25 every year. The good guy who deserves pussy foundation. Yeah, it goes to kids. And a lot of the movie goes to breast cancer for Latina socialists. Yeah. And go away. It goes to breast cancer

for because that's how why is a good guy? You're giving money to the cancer itself. For Latina. Latina thinks it buys breast cancer for trans Latina marxist who are also members of wildlife. Interesting. Yeah. Homeless ones. I see. Homeless team. It buys breast cancer. It gets them breast cancer gets them. We're giving these marginalized groups breast cancer. It's medicine that cures their tuberculosis but also gives them breast. I see. I see. Because a lot of people and it's mostly conservatives but they do have a point that you're not a woman if if you're not getting breast cancer. That's true. True. If you're just if you just have tits what evidence are they that they're women's tits unless they're filled with tumors.

And if you're in one of those rare cases of a man getting breast cancer you're a lady up until the foundation of this charity sponsored by Ridge Wallet which Ridgewallet.com by their backpacks or wallets or any of the other stuff. A lot of good stuff. That was sort of a checkmate situation directed at the the T community. Right. I would say so. And the nice thing about Ridgewallet it's a checkmate situation like Nick said. And you can actually play chess while you have a Ridgewallet. Ridgewallet is the only wallet that you can play chess with. Yeah. You can put it you put it on the other side of your pocket. Right. They actually got N word L word to record. Is that the same guy. It's the same guy. I see. N word F word

is the voice actor who recorded the Ridgewallet. You put it on the other side of a chess board it'll detect and it'll say E five to N one. Right. And it'll make the moves. So you move the thing hit the clock and it says N I to G G. Well that's not how chess boards work. You had it right the first time where it's a letter a number and a letter. You are. And no no no no no no no no. There's never two letters together. It's always a letter and a number. The chess feature is in beta. And so they're figuring that out. But I'm telling you I'm really excited about some of the new stuff they got going on Ridgewallet. Right. Such as N word F words chess feature. The wall. I'm sorry. Just to clear this up. You

put your wallet on the table next to the chess set. Yeah. And it will just sense the pieces are going. Yes. There's a camera in it. And the camera actually at the wall it actually has a micro has a little speaker. It's always listening. And all of every it records everything you say and do. And it sends it to a central computer that parses out anything that's non essential. And then when it thinks you might be getting ready to play chess. Okay. It puts a chess master online who analyzes what's going on. Interesting. And relays it through pre recorded N word F word sound bites. Interesting. Of all the different. So there's a chess master listening into your conversation. Yes. And I guess pressing a sound board with L.

What's his name and L word. Wow. That's that's awesome. And and it's still and all of that and it's still very affordable. Nice. Yeah. And it's still by the way keeps all your cards. Yeah. You know what I'm saying. Your money. And it's slim. Slim. You can use the shit on the back and there'd be some kind of strap or a money clip. Which is great. I don't know. I just use a money clip. Money clip guy myself. I never did. I don't know what the straps for to be honest with you. They got a little something good. They got a cavity that put the SD card after we do the show in that. Yeah. Over the office with it. Ridge Waller if you use promo code. I didn't actually they have a promo code. I say that all the time

and I don't think I think so. Come down or come down 20. I'm going to guess they do. It gets you something but Ridge Wallet is definitely there's some good guys over there at the wall at the Ridge. Big fan of the Ridge Wall. I can't wait to try out my duffel bag which is mine and we have decided as a group I deserve. I already gave it away. Who did you give it to? To Latina Socialists. I guarantee you it's in your little fucking weird half office. No it's filled with with radioactive material. No it's not. I said I want you to hold this close like it was the breast of your indigenous. Why would you do that. Give them breast cancer. Of Gaia. It's the spirit of Gaia. That's rude dude. What. To give

Latins women breast cancer. It's a charity. To give Latins Wixman breast cancer. It's a charity. Let me see here. I'm going to add to cart a leather keychain. I'm going to check out and I'm going to use code come town. It's come town at Ridge Wallet dot com. And it appears it did it did do something. Oh it did. Oh it stops on fridge wall at that time. Not on fridge wall at that time. Which is not a sponsor. It's actually a wallet that looks like an ice cream bar. Do you eat it? Yes. So it's an ice cream bar? I'm getting an ice cream sandwich immediately after this. Sounds awesome. And by getting I mean drinking a cratum and then thinking about an ice cream sandwich and then maybe throwing up on myself

a little bit. Sounds awesome. Ladies. Ladies you want to come lick the straw. Ladies if you weren't already intrigued by all that talk of giving women breast cancer. Maybe you want to suck my puke covered balls. Maybe you'd like to just sit here while I fall asleep while watching King of the Hill. In my own box. Bum ba da bum. Bum ba da bum. Suck em up. Fuck em balls and dig. Every 20 minutes I'll offer you a rice cake. Yeah. Cause girls like to keep it light with their snacks. Some of them are very good. The peanut butter flavor. Caramel. You have a caramel rice cake? Adam does know. I know about rice. No you don't. Cause the only time you get the bullshit plain rice cake. Yeah but you can put stuff on it. I

love peanut butter on it. No. Get the fuck out of here. That sucks. You know what is really the movie theater popcorn one. What's that one? It just tastes like popcorn. I never had that one. Yeah it's pretty good. I'm interested. That was a total fat kid move too. Get rice cake. Be like it's healthy mom. Yeah. I need it. It's healthy. You bitch mom. I need it. I need it cause it's healthy and you want me to be fat forever you fucking bitch. I used to fuck my stomach up with the little ones in the bag. Yeah. I remember the sour cream and those are awesome. Those raw. Just pop them in. Yeah. I literally remember the first time I ever had them. Yeah. Being like yep this is gonna turn it around for me. Yeah.

These are healthy. No not even they're healthy. I'm like these are so good. Yeah I remember being like this is but be cut. I was probably like 11 or 12. Yeah. I remember sitting in my room just eating fucking chips being like what a great night. I'll still fuck with those every once in a while. And in my head they still feel healthier than potato chips. You can check them out of Ridgewalled. Go to Ridgewalled.com and give yourself a bag of chips. And then pop chips. Let's not forget about those. Pop chips. The spiritual spiritual success. Spiritual successor to rice cakes. New kid on the block. Do you see the video of that guy in New Orleans confronting that white ladies. I'd have a block party. No. You showed

it to us. One of the best videos. Did you show this on the show last week. No. This is new. Are you sure. Yeah. I sent it to the thread. Oh OK. Oh I don't remember anymore dude. What did he say to her. Well like they block off the street. They live in New Orleans. Yeah. They don't have permanent or anything. That's rude. There's an older colorful gentleman who's I guess lives there his whole life. And this white lady comes up. She's like we got margaritas and like just you know right like being like do you maybe do you want to come inside for a second. We can give you get you drunk and give you drugs. We have fried chicken. You know. He's like I'm he's like why the fuck is the street blocked off. Yeah.

And it's a public street. Yeah. He's just going. He goes through the block party and mobs every one of them and it gets even better. At one point like these two white guys come up in their dress like Native Americans. They're like we can record you too pal. Can you put it on. Yeah. Sure. You put it on. Can I hear it. I watched. I watched the Tiger Woods documentary. I watched it. I watched it a few months ago. Yeah. It's great. Dude. I'm going to I'm going to raise my boy like that. It turns out I would be getting pussy in front of my son. Didn't he just like you got fucked up again. Yeah. He got in a car every six months. That guy's like but I think he fell asleep at the wheel this time. He was wasted. No I think

it wasn't a DUI this time. He fell asleep at the wheel. I like that he likes to train with the troops to get his mind right. Yeah. But so this this video is great because it's like it's like 15 minutes of him. I don't want any margaritas. I don't want any tacos. What I want is I want to be considered. Where are you from. How long you've been here where you can just come shut my fucking street down and don't don't tell me you're having a party or nothing. Where are you from. This street ain't no home. Where are you from. You're not from this street. I live in my great grandmother's house. You a fucking lie. Where are you really from. Now you're running. You want to talk to me. Talk to me. Where are you from. I'm

trying to hang out with you. Where are you from. Where are you from. Tell me that you don't want to hang out with me. You don't want to answer them. Where were you raised. You weren't raised here. I was raised there. I know you weren't raised here. Be real with me if you really want to hang with me. Where are you from. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Now we can begin a basis of communication. I don't know where it'll go but I'll calm down now. But you ain't come like you wanted to be. See. I came. I walked. You came on a false premise. You're from here. I had to break you down from that. But you're really from Arkansas. Why weren't we notified you were going to shut our street down. I pay

more property tax than anybody here. I can't get through here. It's a one way sweetie. Yeah. That's yeah. I know your fucking sentiment bitch. I don't have no parties where I block the street. What you talking about the fuck out my face. The party where I blocked the street. Substantiate that. Substantiate that. Substantiate that. Substantiate that. We can help by fucking not creating the gentrification. This bitch come over there and told me we come to hang with you. I said well where you from. I'm from here. No you're not. I lived there fucking my whole life. She from Arkansas. You came over here to patronize me bitch. I carry a gun everywhere I go. I've seen you bitch. Just now was the command that I've

been calling. I don't need to be nice. Oh we at wall. We at wall bitch. You to show me that how you came home. I ain't fucking stupid. I ain't fucking stupid. I ain't fucking stupid you know. Man look look look look. This is my fucking neighborhood. What happened. Check that hole. I mean this is this is two fifty five into an eight minute long Jesus. It keeps getting better and better. Good God. And there's a special little treat the woman in the beginning at one point she pulls her ass out. Oh. Sign of disrespect and you can pause it and masturbate to that part. Wow it's got it all. It's like you're enjoying it and then there's a little something for your dick. Call for your dick as well. Which is a balanced piece of media.

Something for the mind something for the cock. The mind the heart and the cock. Yeah the only thing would be better if this lady fucked a dog. That would be cool. Yeah. Brought to you by DreamWorks and by DreamWorks. Yeah. Jeffrey Katzenberg presents. Check her. We want to know why the fuck they blocked the street name. Tell us. This is this is old bitch that comes by at one point. Oh here she is. Yeah. That is it. No. Yeah. She's kind of a nice. She does. That's what I'm saying. You can beat off them. It's just pretty hot. I'm trying to find the part where the old bitch comes up. Hey Arkansas bitch. Move your shit old. Ain't you gonna get sighted. You ain't fucking. My elderly neighbors are

calling me talking about they can't get through. So fuck y'all. Look at this whole. Yeah. We know what you was from the jump bitch. We know what you was from the jump you father. They really did have an official. You bitch. Fuck you bitch. Your privileges extinct here ho. Your privileges extinct here ho. Get the fuck bitch. Get the fuck ho. We ain't asking you shit bitch. What authority did we got to ask you to move on our fucking street. Two old triplet fucking ho. He's on a fucking. He's on a hit street dude. Yeah. He's on the mall. He's got the multiplier gun. Plantation Miss Daisy ho. Plantation Daisy ho. Fuck you and your mama bitch. Fuck you and your mammy. It's so good. Wow. He was going the

fuck off. I'm glad that he's just open carrying the entire. Yeah. Here I go. Why do you have a gun. Fuck a second man. That guy was awesome. They really did have an official like block the street set up to they had the cones and the fucking whole thing. That is rude. It's a one way street. Good for him. It's not a one way street is Adam's asshole. That's not true. You can shit out of it. You can come into it. Yeah. It's only poo comes out of it. No fingers. No. But I did get a procedure done recently. I got a little lightning. I had to get it sewn up a little bit. Got someone called the husband stick. I don't know why I called it that. They got a real tight. That would be awesome. Yeah. Do they really make

pussy. Is that even you can really make a pussy tighter. I don't know. That doesn't seem like it. That's what they say. I feel like you could if you applied enough like heat to the outside and put like a plastic in it. Yeah. Well women are devices. Sure. I've downgraded them from objects. They're not devices to be upgraded every year. Traded in for one. Mm hmm. To get their pussy but tightened. Yeah. I'm trying to get the bitch 12 s. Better face ID. Better recognize me. Oh fuck dude. Recognize. That's got to come back. Oh yeah. Absolutely. You're also has to come back. Chocolate goldfish. I never had them. Yeah. Wait. The the cheesy goldfish. They had a chocolate. I never had it. So true.

Sorry. Shut the fuck up. All right. I'll chill out. Fuck you. Fuck off. Yeah. I know. Fuck you and your motherfucking mammy. You don't run the seven water. Oh you better get back to Canada. Wherever you're from bitch. I know they got laws and rules bitch. Laws and rules bitch. Laws and rules. Laws and rules. It's funny. All the white people in New Orleans look like like guess who characters. Yeah. If I block the street by your house they'll have all black block party you to call the police to bitch. Fuck you. Fuck you. I know. Yeah. This guy. Yeah. That guy's awesome dude. I'll show you. Pocahontas bitch. Yeah. I know. I am at home bitch. That's my point. I am at home. I am at fucking home. No not

to this whole get a ticket. Get it. You got video. I got video too. Oh fuck. Great video. Great vid. That's a good one. That that and the I mean it's going to be that that's an all time or the where you're coming from. I was coming from the studio. I do a podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then the door shutting salute as she's crying. That's a classic piece of being loaded into her walk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Powerful cultural moment for podcasters for podcasters. If you want to check out other powerful cultural moments go to patreon.com a cashless come down. Go to stop it up is probably gonna have a couple shirts up there pretty soon. Probably gonna have a couple tour dates up there pretty soon. That's right.

We got funny moms. The link should be up at the end of the month. I'm going to be doing a couple more from now. I will also be doing a couple more warm up headlining sets in New York. I think I'm going to do one at the at the slipper room. Where's the slipper room again. It's on the lower east side. Yeah. Yeah. What's on the what's the date. It's the twenty fourth the first first five months I believe so we will have that up by the time this comes out. Okay. And you're going to want to get a ticket because it's going to be reduced. It's reduced capacity. It's going to want to get your tickets online. Get them shits online. There is no other. You can't you cannot actually get them in person anymore.

Yeah. For COVID. He used to say get them online. There would be a couple at the door but for until until we open up wider wide open like like Chris Cuomo's ass cheeks. Yeah. You have to get them online. So that'll be a fun one. Welcome. Goodbye. Goodbye. My dick sucks. My dick is small. My dick sucks. I'm gay. Meg. Files done. My dick is done. Cocks just done.