The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 260 – gaza explainer

Episode Date: May 19, 2021

a quick history on gaza and whats going on so u can be up to date before you stop caring next week

breaking news breaking news it's now okay to get pussy from a man it's okay to get pussy from a man it's not anymore the date is April 1st 1930 April fools that's our April fools joke this year folks saying that it's okay to get pussy from a man of course it's still illegal big news from Germany this Hitler fella everybody's favorite young ingenue on the scene Adolf Hitler breaking heart we're joined by comedian Howard G to explain this WKNY New York's only radio station Howard G what's what are people like about this Hitler guy well you know he's what do I sound like

what do I sound like again I sound like I I mostly know Howard from the kiss my bumper kiss my penis kiss my penis kiss my penis just kiss it just kiss it I open for him in my gooby's joke house one time you open your asshole no I did seven minutes for you no I did seven minutes about even worse constructed jokes about being fat and having a little penis this was 10 11 years ago Genesis dude it's always been the same stuff it's always been yeah the same genre just much shittier every yeah he was doing he was doing improv games with people 23 year old with a comb over dude no I was the front no I had I had spikes I tried to

try to hide being bald with spikes basically Mark McGrath I like the little flat and then up yeah the Ricky Martin the Ricky Martin that was my move for years that cover the balding I thought well I brush it a little bit my yeah I had no idea that I had a bald spot yeah for way too long you had no idea I had no idea that's funny I thought I had a full head of hair and I do by the way now I do how you do you're back now I do but yeah I remember being 21 and be and then somebody being like yeah somebody being like yeah I'm losing my hair he was like not like you stop it I mean you know you got the bald spot I'm

just lose I got the receding here cuz I didn't have a receding hair I said thin ass hair and my line was always well I just have thin hair yeah I don't have I'm not balding I'm a fat man with thin I have angel hair I'm like a fucking little baby yeah and it is soft by the way you can't run your fingers through my hair and say it's not soft it's gorgeous thank you yeah when we met you were you were just about getting ready to lose it the buzz baby the buzz was coming right then and there yeah you're telling me your girlfriend was like just giving you information on Rogan yeah my girlfriend and my mom were

both trying to get me to use Rogan I was giving you pamphlets when I was 22 or I guess how old I was yeah so fine fucking bitches you're filling out like the postcard to get more information yeah I call the 1-800 number everybody takes that propitious shit yeah you can't get hard and you know what man it's what I say they're cowards yeah you let time ravage your body and you do nothing about it yeah you know except I'm about to go by jewelry I think soon that's what you do you get jewelry you get Hawaiian shirts and that's how you fight aging it's only worse if you're fat well imagine Adam was balding yeah he would

look so horrible I would be so funny look so bad if Adam went rapidly bald and like the next year you would have such you would you would have a crisis you're not you're not even close to strong maybe I become like one of those southwestern gay guys that gets really into turquoise and still you would 100% go buzz cut and you would have like a little mustache oh god that would be bad it would be a bad look that would be real you know God please don't do it my friends I even I wouldn't wish that on you thank you regularly imagine you being hauled onto a train and taken to a camp I hope it's activities there's activities yeah

special activities someone say the kind of activities only the company knows about oh interesting and yeah the company from rollerball CIA Langley I'm gonna teach you something I learned at the CIA and then George Bush this is something I learned at the CIA this is called the dullest dick twister it's called Alan Dulles told me how to do how to do this to a foreskin the cock eating association eating spelled with an eye we change it to the yeet to gas like the American public what do you think used to be spelled with an eye what do you think poppy bush was up to in the CIA what kind of shit where they send

poppy bush let me look your ass poppy bush look your ass yeah yeah read my lips lick my ass bitch he was uh he was he was swinging with Barbara oh yeah they were using Barbara's pussy as a honey pot yeah she was fucking she was fucking she got she fucked pinochet yeah she was fucking she's fucking communist Barbara was giving the fucking box up pinochet makes me think of like a yellow rose of like a cock a cock made out of like Italian ice yeah so pinochet sort of penis yeah going up to an ice cream truck and be like do you have any peanut do you have a pinochet it's two-thirds Italian ice and the tip is

a sorbet is a pina colada flavored dick but the top is soft serve yeah a lot dude read is when they have that half the prince from Candyland Prince from Candyland sitting there with just that dick hard pretty cool no joke I would 100% suck a Candyman's cock if that's what it tastes like if the tip was soft serve and the base was Italian ice yeah I am throating a cock no problem yeah no problem it doesn't even feel gay to me it feels like having dessert if the penis was food well the prince from Candylands made out of candy too right no he's just a licorice dandy oh he's like he's just got like a can't like a

licorice but let's look it up I used to fucking hate Candyland I'll be honest the best part about this I feel like we've actually done this we had something about the fucking muck I think you called me the muck guy or whatever all right the mud monster candy land but it's okay man yeah here's the Prince Lord licorice Lord like this this this fad oh damn oh wait I thought I thought I could zoom in no no it's Google images now you got him damn I'm sweating oh damn why are you sweating no I wouldn't want to suck Lord licorice off I'm having a heart attack I would I would say King Candy's cock that would be nice to die

he looks more like he's more made out of candy it would be nice to die but if Nick died we we don't know how to upload it no we don't know the password we don't know the password to the Patriot I thought you were the mud monster but you're more plumpy I am plumpy yeah I'm 100% plump and that's what my dick is also my dick is very plumpy you're also this guy who's his name gum drop what's his name who's this gum drop guy you're a lot of the candy your Lord licorice without question that's not that's not his name it's fucking gookie gum no gooey no especially a baby game let me see it's gooey I know the letters I want it to

be that so that you go through all the ones that are Adam Princess lollipop Queen Frosty and what's this the other bitch there's another bitch the one who lives in lollipop woods you're you are no you're Lord licorice your Lord licorice and he's the evil little gay one that's what you are my question I'm the fun fact guys and the girls just reminder for the listeners at home Nick is Lord licorice I'm King Candy Nick is Lord licorice and he's Lord lick-a-dick and the King Candy character also known as me that's not who you are and it's settled King Candy is my boyfriend and that's not you I'm King Candy I suck

King Candy soft-serve cock and you're not King Candy no it's not I would never suck your dick you're Lord licorice and you're jealous of what being King Candy and you're jacking off to it I'm King Candy nice that is good Adam handed me a tweet has the n-word in it read it out loud I'm not gonna read it out loud it's some guys responding to TMZ saying Bill Gates pursued women at work hooked up with that least one and he said rich and then that this terrible word fucking hose ain't new that's true that's true Bill Gates was a pussy getter yeah that's like half the stories on TMZ why is that guy following TMZ maybe

he's on the DL he's a guy so you own the DL yeah Adam do you think you could survive on the DL no I'd get found out you get because you're careless yeah you know these loudmouth queers on the DL oh yeah yeah back in my day you know it was honor and it was honor and it was honor and sucking a straight man's cock I used to use to take it like a man you could you could use to be a celebrity that fucked men and no one was the wiser but not anymore he looked like a man yeah my friend my friend Phil but friend of the show he wrote a letter to mad TV and said that he really liked the Miss Swan sketch and Alex Porenstein sent him back

a signed headshot that's awesome and it said Phil you look like a man pretty nice he has it in his bedroom god man his childhood bedroom Phil you look like a man I would like to fuck I would have gotten so stoked off of that hold on here boys Lord licorice is the main antagonist in the board game Candyland that's me and the main antagonist of the animated film Candyland the Great Lollipop Adventure sounds like we got you are Lord licorice bro me yes you have I'm sorry there's some about you and gay you're not King Candy I have a sexual relationship with King Candy and I wouldn't know you dare turn thank you

I just turn your headphones off so I can tell Adam a secret he's not he's not King Candy you didn't say anything dude I'm not I am wait Nick's not King Candy yes I got him holocaust achieve and that's a callback that's I love how we record them now because we constantly call back to the episode that we did before yeah that's the thing is four days you're gonna you might you might have noticed the show is bad now and the reason for that is we get all it we get all the juices going yeah the early episode and then I had a bag of sour cream and onion chips yeah and then order you know board games on Amazon then we watch the movies based on the board I'm I'm truly trying to watch

I'm truly trying to watch that all right well this is okay people are we're doing a true crime podcast okay and the crime is explaining what the board game is this basically you know what this is a fucking this is a board game podcast yes okay you guys want to talk board games today's episode is candy land a great lollipop adventure just animated special yeah and my dick is actually the lollipop based off the 2002 version of the game Lord licorice has his minions the bites hmm which steel princess lolly's scepter and plans on using a concoction he made to make licorice grow everywhere you know what that's fucked up

listening princess lolly take over candy land turning it into licorice land as described in his musical number that's the thing that's that's what I don't like about this they're they're propagating the ugly stereotype that licorice is bad licorice is good I don't like black look yeah it's one of those like 1800s candies I don't care it's fine and you know what isn't start isn't fucking twizzlers licorice no yeah the black red vines is liquorice makes black licorice it's a type of liquid and black liquor yes liquor I and you know what black licorice is not as bad as people say it is they all attempt to catch the

protagonist care but they're all foiled after reaching the you're to the candy castle Lord licorice tries to bring licorice to be ruler Jim stopped him by putting green icing when trying to put the scepter mmm the swap monster grabs him after that grabbing the monarch everyone puts their gifts on the slot except jib who wasted his last icing container Lord licorice thought he failed but he put his backpack on the slot princess lolly puts her scepter on the center slot causing all of the licorice to go away and restoring peace in Candyland thank God he complained that

everything is lollipops and disparate he will not make everything licorice anymore and then in parentheses debatable we don't know if we can trust this guy never be so we should do a gritty reboot where Lord licorice rapes yeah the princess yeah in front and he's got the king tied up yeah it's spin-off books and many spin-off children's books he does mean things such as trying to eat everyone's houses who guess who's leaning a little bit more on the the Lord licorice category it's not me your Lord like you're always eating people I've sometimes if I if they have the exposed insulation it looks like cotton

candy yes other than that never really thrown you for a loop as a kid when I went to home D but with my dad it took a lot of willpower not to chew that stuff fiberglass that pink shit a needle a framed needle point and the foyer of his apartment that says I'm here to eat people out of ass and home I would eat us all right what do we got here in the game in the asses of plenty of yours here's an image called Lord licorice's defeat mm-hmm look how funny that looks what is that? it looks like he's getting his ass fucked by a giant oh no that's horrific this movie looks good dude I can't wait to watch this after the show

yeah just all right we got some trivia for you okay let's call in and you can win two tickets to see Lord licorice in Rams Headlight although his real name is unknown it seems to be the Richard Robert Ralph Rick Roger Ronald Russell Raymond Reginald Randy Royer that's too many what it might be similar to Boris Badnov Natasha Fatali snidely whiplash Dick d'Asterly DeSanna's John Lifty and Shifty and Rocky and Mugsy Lord licorice has a stereotypical mobster look from the 1920s and 1930s oh it's a trope Lord licorice has three pets those being a green crocodile named Crockett the brown vulture named Buzzy and a red

spider named Spidora Spidora and the last one he is a homosexual that's literally written on there on Wikipedia yeah it says right here he at the last bullet point he's a homosexual under the trivia section okay and now we've the pendulum is fully swung back to you being Lord licorice no this is Marvin Adam can't it's actually both of you I thought I was the princess you are the princess as long as you see me as a royal I do I do and if you're listening at home and you don't get why we're reading this I'd say burn one down maybe and then you're gonna roast a fucking bone yeah yeah smoke one down to come

town this week or maybe you should smoke I don't know something else maybe what time is it whatever the ads today yeah blue shoes that in due time is this what we got get the Lord licorice song oh let's fuck this is a hundred percent you this is Nick without question that's me that's me so Princess lolly scepter is the key to today's celebration look here's how it works I Lord licorice am the boss and I want that scepter that's right I want that's a boy give me that scepter let me get that scepter boy yeah I guess he is a homosexual I want to hear his song yeah

kids are losers I would watch this I would watch this dude I was kind of in trouble turbo tax offers three ways to get your come on don't use turbo tax fuck turbo block fuck into it fuck quit books zero accounting software delete your quick books to count that's right here we go now we're gonna be listening to the licorice land song from the great lolly population of course Lord licorice will be a ram set live call in answer what is his sexual orientation the lines are hot folks win two tickets for you here's a hint and your boyfriend by calling in and answering correctly is this guy a fag or

not quickly rise and soon my choice to keep who will reach into the skies the smell of licorice in the air he's talking about his come everywhere yeah that's Adam and you can read more about Adam at bluetooth.com oh wow you chew calm the most delicious candy in Candyland you get at the end of the game yeah you make fuck princess what's her name design the princess lollipop you forget you get to suck her a little she's got a cock by the way yeah she's trans yeah but that's the best you're gonna ask for in Candyland

mm-hmm you know I'm talking about just somebody that got the pills early got their shit cut off yeah back when the skin was still taught no listen if she's got she's hot she's got a piece I'll suck it in Candyland you take a bitch to the candy shop yeah you let her lick take it to the candy shop yeah yep that's that's that's anyway you suck princess lollipops lollipop but and you're thinking to yourself am I into this is this am I pushing too hard on a sexual boundary and you're getting nervous typically your dick might get soft not because you're not into the sexual no situation but from the nerves and that's

where our friends over at bluetooth.com come in because maybe if you're trying to fuck a princess who's trans it's your first time with someone if that orientation of that gender whatever you want to call it you might get the the first time fucking nerves and with bluetooth you can choose between so the generic version of Sidenophil or Tadadolophil which is this generic version of Viagra and Cialis it won't keep you from crying but it will keep it will get you very well you will be so hard while while you're if you if you need to cry which is a valid yeah so cuz you're nervous if you yeah yeah you gotta check

this shit out dude it's bluetooth.com slash lord licorice this is all the ingredients this is what always bald to look stop bad news that's why I said big ass it's not me I don't hide it it's clearly you you're always wearing big ass hat I've never worn a big hat all over debating I would fuck that gingerbread tree I'll tell you I missed it but I fucked it before you didn't but I and if I were to fuck it I would use blue I might start wearing a cape yeah exact cuz you're Lord licorice no because you're seeing his style and you under you it's something is connecting and you cuz you a lot of people wear

capes no no one does dude a lot of people do how many operate like a like a Victorian listen not a lot of people do but you and Lord licorice do because you're the same guy no I'm like I'm going to the opera yeah with your boyfriend after your plans to cover with candy landing licorice with the duchess bluetooth.com offers stuff for your penis oh yeah hardening potion use promo code come down or come down 20 try them out do you remember I don't at this point I just fucking figure it out try come one of them it's probably come down 20 and they do what do they do for you first order free just pay just pay

shipping you best just pay the cheap me cheap me and let me tell you I've had people come up to me thank me kiss me on the cheeks almost in tears cuz blue blue to save their relationship because they had a little soft cock and now they have a regular size medium hard cock so be one of those people this is gonna be me dude I'm gonna just that's me in Istanbul where my opera cake you are Lord licorice mm-hmm just look at a picture of him that's what you're gonna be you're wrong and I'm not Lord licorice because I use bluetooth.com which removes well then I'm definitely not Lord licorice well I'm definitely

even more not Lord I'm way more I am way less Lord licorice first of all I'm King Candy you're not even try this on King Candy you're not King Candy King Candy's jolly he fucking makes you're you're a gookie gumball okay it's gooey first of all it's not and the point is you are this is this is stop that's not me at all dude that looks like you know with the Adam from he showed me Adam but it looked like you opera club oh I want to say something by tango designs funny mom's is back the 24 how about you wait until we're done talking about blue chip oh I thought we were done which has said the same sexual chemicals

as Viagra if you want to pump your cock full of sexual chemicals bluetooth.com Chewables are delicious you sign up they get no in-person doctor visit no awkward conversation none of that he just answered just a hard-ass couple of questions put into whoever you they send it they're not asking questions with it discretion-free packaging no ship directly it's discretion-free it's a giant neon sign that says dick pills yeah that flashes and you can put the flashes on your wife's tits that's right that's right nothing gets me hang it on your wall next to your st. Pauli girl next to your

toms a Finland poster St. Holly pocket I would like to get my dick sucked by the st. Pauli's girl yeah yeah just what she's holding two beers and sucking I would like to dip my cock in the beer then she gets a little refreshing hit of ale right as she sucks me off so strong holding those she's strong she got big tits I love braids like that yeah she's a powerful woman what the fuck is the point of an opera cloak why I don't know I mean like what are you worth nice you cover you cover as your boyfriend sucks your cock at the opera you put you raise the cloak that's true so no it's almost like no one can see you I'd use it to

sneak my friends into the opera yeah so your tickets basically half price that's right under your cloak so there you go Nick that's your answer well my guess we're gonna go to Wikipedia check out bluetooth.com to win tickets to see Lord Lickers at Ram's Head live at the first mariner he's been bumped up to the first mariner he's sold out at Ram's Head oversold Ram's Head live and there's been an accounting era and he'll actually be at fishhead cantina he'll be a beautiful our beautest Maryland performing live at the fishhead cantina outdoor stage bro shouts out to fishhead dude shouts out to fishbowl Thursdays at UMBC that's where you would go underage get fucked

up grind your little penis on a girl I think that's that's where I heard the story that either Mike said it happened there Mike Jesus story about like you know doing real rough crowd or whatever and like somebody threw a beer at the stage and he caught it open it he goes thanks for the drink the idea that it would be an unopened beer at a bar that all of every single part of that is so awesome is that guy alive still the internet destroyed people like that because then they just get to be insane on line so you don't encounter them in real life right because the magic is to see that just to stumble yeah we lost

our notion of community which is talking to those kind of people I remember going to the Wise Acres one time and they like he had like all of the fat middle-aged comedians at like a table at the back of Wise Acres the boys club there's somebody just shooting them with like a camcorder hell yeah I mean it's one like rigged for sound yeah and in between takes and like I couldn't even determine what was happening there was just a giant plate of spaghetti nice sitting there and like he's affecting some like sopranos thing awesome and he told me explain what was going on he's like yeah we're we're

making a viral video this is gonna go viral this is like this is like 2006 it's like to what extent something go probably like seven and a half minutes long yeah and I have no I couldn't discern what the sketch was yeah it was just like a bunch of fat people eating spaghetti it's awesome I would if someone can find that please show it to us email Adam and let him know yeah email me at Adam at Lord licorice at Nick is Lord licorice Adam at Nick is Lord licorice come on we know it in our hearts who's Lord licorice that's something also guys I was

I interrupted the read rudely but now I think I have a chance to say it funny mom's is back the first show is now sold out nice but the second show on the 31st yeah we're gonna tickets available we will be there every what is it Monday every Monday other than the first Monday and then the first so every month basically every Monday other than the first Monday of the month we will be at come on everybody and we we I believe because there's reduced capacity we encourage buying tickets online not only do we encourage it for right now that's the right now that's pretty much the only way you can't walk up and get tickets

if you don't have them online don't even fucking bother yet don't come out don't be part of the scene like the you know like a the lot report at a great full dead concert are you selling gemstone unless you're a single woman with with large but you know it not even just if you're a single woman that wants to get into some show you are exempted any single for the most part age if you're cool no ovary of course of age over 18 yeah under 100 under 98 but yeah anyway so that they're also I'm gonna run an hour a couple more times in the city before the tour starts up I'm gonna do the 8th of June at the slipper room my

friend Adam will be joining me and then on the 22nd I'm gonna do two shows at Union Hall and at Union Hall they're gonna do the real capacity but you have to have a vaccination record so anyway that's two chances to see me fucking try and remember my hour stand-up comedy that's June 8th at the slipper room and June 22nd at Union Hall I'm gonna put that shit up on oh and I'm gonna do stop you solves your problems again maybe once a month and the first one will be next Wednesday so anyway look out for all that shit you little fuckers and finally and most importantly Nick is Lord Likrish I'm not Lord Likrish try

by this Venetian mask fuck yes dude that's your rocks get that what size is it make mask sizes it does not come in fact it's not it doesn't come in large cheeks it come in just that scene in eyes wide shut and then stops fat fucking the head what's up can I also get some pussy head and a half shorter than all the other people no it's a movie starring Tom Cruise did I'm yeah then everyone else at the party he's the star of the movie you're just one of the extras I'm getting pussy from Nicole Kidman I've never seen that movie did she fuck she don't see them I just rewatch it again I was a movie like

six times a year all right maybe I'll watch oh you like it Adam I love it I never mind I was I thought it was good but then I remember I didn't eat lunch yeah I'm having a diabetic diabetes I'm gonna watch about the wolf for Bramley saying that I've been meted by women they've meted yeah I've been meted by recently you may have heard the news that I raped a woman I'm being meeting in press well it's not true it isn't true my dick hasn't my penis has been inoperable since the filming of the China the China syndrome where the director made me put my penis in an actual nuclear reactor to see what would

happen that's so fucked up and I lost use of my cock and balls and it's since then I've been what I consider a girl since then I've been getting fucked in my ass that's a good movie ever see that mm-hmm that's what it's called right China syndrome doesn't sound yeah it's about imagine riding given out of getting a Wilfrid Brimley style must-ass ride that must be good on your pussy Jack lemon Michael Douglas oh that's a nice little line up yeah that's a nice fucking little lineup mm-hmm I watched rollerball recently China syndrome running because it sounds like mongoloid you know yeah sounds yes telling me this

nuclear reactor makes people retarded it's not what I'm saying at all I'm saying my penis got stuck in the reactor and now I can't get my dick hard anymore they fried my dick and balls they're mostly there you're saying you can't make pussy that's exactly right but if you fold my balls maybe you can use them as a pussy well Michael I was wondering maybe you could try sucking my penis to wake it up only if it's sexy it's a movie called the China syndrome written and directed by me Wilfrid Brimley where I dip my balls in nuclear waste well the premise of the movie is my penis has stopped where my penis has

stopped working on account of me putting my penis in a nuclear rifter and Michael Douglas my my cold Douglas Michael Michael Douglas my cold of this has to suck my penis my pain my penis has to be so sucked by Markle done the cold of my called it mother fucker McCall the gliss your penis your medication Liberty Mutual will suck your penis come to your house and knock down your door and give you a liberty mutual has a ruler that they'll send to your house to measure your penis and it's adds one inch if a girl is watching if a girl is nearby you can ask her to measure your penis call your

doctor and ask him about getting pussy and we'll send you the trick Liberty Mutual ruler makes you dick 1.1 inches longer than it I'm off of Brema you may know that I lost my penis in a nuclear accident honestly we should make a rule that says your dick is bigger than it is that's a huge money-making opportunity of course I stay active and I feel pretty good most of the time but my penis still does bad news is my penis is still damaged from a nuclear accident damn dude I would not want my penis in a volcano what a funny guy to become an actor I think yeah what I think it's perfect to the stage or I

think imagine him like showing up in Hollywood produces office being like I'm trying to be an actress I'll do whatever it takes you fuck me I'm not gonna school I'll do whatever it takes to have a career yeah I think actually he's it's great he's an actor we need more guys like him in Hollywood that's true and more leading men that look at turbo tax offers three ways fuck turbo boo don't use turbo tax you know I was a kid and got a hold of a nickel I thought I was rich I remember that didn't turn on my nose at pennies either today some folks I wonder why you remember that remember you know there's something I

love it's nickels and pennies we played this commercial well for brimley must be a Jewish icon yeah we played this one he changed his name for you don't remember it in fact if anyone wants to pull the clip of Adam saying he doesn't remember yeah let's get that and I played it on email it at Nick or Adam at Nick is Lord licorice.com this presentation is brought to you by Liberty Medical so you can live a better life it's got to be somebody's joke video I don't want to play somebody good morning I'm Wilfred Brimley and I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes about

diabetes actually about my dick affected me in my life now I'm not perfect and I've done things I shouldn't do men don't like to admit he was gay but I want to tell you I was very very fortunate to be engaged to my partner Dick Richards whoever did that probably didn't steal it Wilfred Brimley on homosexuality by Wells for president added 10 years ago Wikipedia see back then you actually had to learn how to use Premiere Pro right just do a shitty impression right and get on your podcast and say I lost my

dick trying to have sex with a nuclear reactor I thought it was a giant glowing pussy I thought it was a pussy I had done some peyote and I thought the reactor was a big glowing red pussy you wouldn't be able to suck my penis my penis is gay I'm gay and I'm homo thanks that's again press it damn imagine if you had a constantly hot paint like a penis so hot you have to wear metal underwear and it would scorch your mouth metal metal is conductive it's special metal Adam what do you mean there's just come down there's just come down clips to come up when you search there

let's just start listening to the show yeah that's how we flip it on the clip guys yeah you know what we should start doing honestly into it came into the area there were some businesses that were no honestly we should just like start rolling the good clip yeah compilations as episodes and we don't feel like doing the show gay Michael Douglas and like you know how we went to the cabin and we did 12 instead of doing them just take videos from online well these guys did all the work by putting the clips we did we did the initial work they did this where it's a it's a it's a yeah they're taking our labor and then we read their

labor we take it back he's a classic Michael penis but about him and Michael Keaton yeah I know his brother Michael you know Dennis what is Michael Keaton's name was Michael penis like a marquee just says penis I love that's great yeah I'm trying to force myself to get on that level tonight on inside the actors studio I sit down with Hollywood actor Michael I'm James how would you know the difference I'm character I'm actor Michael penis a lot of people confuse me with the actor Michael penis but I'm a different Michael penis my name is Michael G penis the black actor Michael

Michael K penis Michael balls that's a nice part about never listening to the show yeah how did that wrap up though that's more part of the end do you you want to really come on we can't remember it's it's funny to do it as a bit for a little bit we got to get back to reading ad cop we got to talk about cushy dreams and then after maybe we can figure out the ending after we go we talk about let everybody know some of the highest quality cbd smokeable cbd smokeable cbd which is smoke because you can because you can smoke because you can it's it's it's lab tested grown in Humboldt County just like the real shit

the good real marijuana recently and I tell you lies in New York state you smoke one of these things and it's it's it gets you fucked up without ruining your day it's great it's I'd like to wake up and I smoke a whole pre-roll they sell pre-rolls and they sell eights mm-hmm they also got the like what is it a half gram half gram joints those are the best I love the half gram to the face wake up and then it's like I've been smoking weed for hours and I'm done with it exactly I'm ready to start my day exactly right if you're like me you have constant chest pains and your eye hurts right and this does nothing does

not alleviate that at all but you feel sort of high and you don't give a shit enough to make a doctor's appointment no that's right which is even though you can finally afford health care for the first time in your life you can't navigate the system but it's a little annoying to do it so you just I literally could not I called in the Blue Cross Blue Shield and they hung up on me yes mm-hmm well it's probably because you sound like a villain like Lord Licorice that's not why it's because I was fucked up on cushy dreams well that's fun that's fucked up on their part be the perfect CBD and it's 100% legal you get caught

with it you hand it over the cop and you say you know it's like a Kendall Jenner Pepsi officer I bought this from a podcast told me to buy this podcast and they never say anything illegal yeah they got all kinds of different strange independently lab-tested yeah hustle energy flow through a vivacity soul sister sister girl mm-hmm flavored flavor girl flavor town play of the Guy Fieri line bam rockstar they have orange crocs clinical clinical depression mm-hmm Monsanto they have the Monsanto they got the fucking Monsanto middle school slut my name is Monsanto Riviera that's a good that's a hot name and I'm not yay I'm Spanish I would I

would kiss Monsanto Riviera one time yeah and anyways I'll let him show me the ways of love it the it it makes you feel good I don't know what else to say it makes you feel good dudes and here's the thing it's smokable what are you a baby haven't CBD gummies yeah haven't CBD babies get the fuck I just had them fucking pussy I just had them send me a bit more nice nice and I got it all lined up on my table here yep and after we finish this read yeah we're gonna play some some clips for you guys we're gonna play the clips through the phone while we watch Candyland the lollipop take the headphones off we have it rigged up

where we'll automatically end at one hour exactly that's awesome you know what now I kind of want to try some liquorice yeah I'm telling you it's not that bad we get some liquorice after this yeah I guess we should we should just as a taste test we'll get some liquorice after the show but while we do that you guys should go to cushydreams.com use promo code come town to receive 20% off your next order that's any XT order any XT order any XT or D or DER when you use promo code come town at cushydreams.com and your personal computer that's P-E-R-S-O-N-A-L-C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R

promo code come town that's right just go ahead and type it in that's P-R-O-M-O that's C-O-D-E-R-O-M-O it's C-H-O-D I got a promo chat for you pal promo code come town or come town 20 and if you were born that's O-R-T-W-E-N-T-Y premature as always check with your doctor before taking any medication yeah you are weak I was born preemie you were born weak I was doing March I was born in February I was born February 11 I was supposed to be born March 9th I was a huge baby that was I kind of peaked at birth I destroyed my mom's pussy yeah I know I've been mad about that yeah so fucked up and then I never

grew I've been the same size since I was yeah he came out you're a giant they only do weight and length yeah they measure your dick shouts out by the way to Mike Christine keeping his son uncircumcised yeah he just told you that it's not are you serious I saw us get yesterday that besides penis it was like let's take a look let's see what's going on he did say we were at the font we were at the fawnies so I had to take it was part of the culture all the old-timers at the font they all look at his penis baby's penis of course dude he would lie to me I love the fawnies dude no he didn't lie

to you and also I went to meet the baby last week and he claimed that the baby had a very nice penis here show it to you no I I said I would take a nice day with Mike we got some watermelon that's awesome that's not yeah dude I've been eating tomatoes and watermelon it's summertime dude tomatoes for lunch watermelon for a watermelon sweet tomato I'm gonna get some licorice and watermelon after this smoke a little cushy dreams and watch the licorice land movie yeah the Lord whatever the Lord licorice is hysterical just just a completely phoned in gay villain yeah like everything yeah yeah it's good to

get in the gay baby movies and then be like I'm doing this for work it's for my job yeah I'm gonna be purchasing this movie and writing it off on my taxes yeah for my job I'm renting this for $4.99 on Amazon no it's we're buying it well you got it now remember when Paul Manafort got caught like buying that jacket for like $10,000 and everybody's mad about it and it's like no you just don't know how to do taxes yeah that guy was on that's that's the only good thing about Paul Manafort is he bought a $10,000 jacket he was like yeah I need this for work a bit what was his job that's like from what every account I've

ever had has told me that's the only one of the only things you can't write off is drip yeah it's clothes Jim groceries yeah and groceries yeah why not groceries what if you business what if your business is even then all the shit you like quote unquote write off like I basically for every like every time I eat out you know it's like if it's with other comics or whoever and it's like that's a business meeting but then the bookkeeper like only takes like fucking 10% yeah I don't think they take the they feel yeah they filter all that shit out yeah I am a they know you get caught they know you're a retarded person yeah

oh really yeah that's good they know that you keep your records really although I'm done with my CPA finally nice they fucked me for the last time for the last time damn well now you can have a sexual relationship and available if you're gonna count any account you want to say is out there actually that would be kind of cool to fuck a CPA if you're a CPA if you're if you're a lady out there and you have some bullshit accounting job and you want to get stuffed you know you want some business and then also I sexually harass you at your office yeah I would I gotta be honest hold on I'm painting a whole picture here I come in I

drop off the paperwork I close the door behind me I start smoking in the office she's like you can't do that in here and I'm like yeah what else can I do exactly my eyes I set for you up and you're like oh really oh really guess who's been listening to Andrew W. K. on the way over I set it up in a notch and I'd fuck the meanest bitch that works at the IRS yeah they call her the angel of death you know no and that's and then she she's so addicted to me that she has to let me cheat on my tax no you don't have that kind of dick you don't have that kind of dick you don't have that kind of fucking ability yeah but a woman like

that wants a pathetic penis no she doesn't she's a powerful woman she's been working all day if you're one of these mean cunts at the IRS they just have sex with Adam go ahead and call in the 98 rock describe all into the Justin Scott spiegel morning show and describe the we sent you describe Adam's penis to whoever answers the phone and ask for tickets to see Lord licorice please call 98 rock incessantly for two tickets to see Lord liquorice with the fish head cantina I love fish head cantina yeah I have some great college memories I have some great open mic memories there shots out to uncle Dave and his little ass

penis he's in those places I'd like it's just I have you know when you have like a memory of a place that's like so hazy that you can't tell if it was like a dream yeah of course yeah that's how I feel about fish head cantina I know remember the layout and what it looked like inside but it feels like something I dreamt you did and it's the kind of place you dream about I remember in my one of my first cuz it's a bizarre looking building I mean what the fuck is this yeah it's like it was like a Chinese doctor's office that they added like a like a doc like a like a jetty element like a dock bar attack like stapled do a

Chinese doctor's office I would be shocked if it's still open actually I think I think I heard rumors of it going out of business that would be a damn shame and if that's true I'm gonna go to a vigil I get really sad anytime I hear a business fails really yeah it's like a it's like a death it's a small business any type of business even bigger business circuit city yeah it's sad I did have some nice memories at circuit city yeah first family PC there how the fucking I used to buy CDs how the entrance looks like a plug fish head no the city I don't think it was in the commercials like a plug went into the

entrance yeah yeah you should do it for me as yeah when I was a kid I'd see the place I'd be like that's that's a big plug that's the plug I'm satisfied I'm experiencing satisfaction fuck yeah did you go you look at the fucking gateway computers you go listen you go look at the JLo video they're playing you get horny gateway 2000 because that hasn't been a year yet not yet so it's like futuristic and it was cow it looked like a cow if you Google like I remember Dr. Dremos Dr. Dremos Clarence you know I never made it there but I remember if you Google that you get pictures of like comedians we know from like 15 years

ago oh really yeah hilarious picture right there damn he looks young as hell yeah damn our youth is really gone it is gone dude that's not true well for me and Nick we have a little bit let's say about two years left oh my god yeah you don't know you don't know you don't know any of these guys this freak guys are doing comedy these guys just back in the day these are grinders these are Mike grind these aren't guys that were sitting sitting sucking on the teats of Brandon Weatherby yeah that's not you're not say that when I met you you were like Brandon Weatherby's the one he's gonna let me suck his dick

that was the first time honestly I met you at at looking glass lounge at his show that's what I'm gonna say was it there or RFD Adam used to have a telescope that he would put in other guys pants yeah that's really named the restaurant I don't want to stand there looking up guys cocks through telescope yeah that's a cool name oh one of my first mics I was at RFD and Ralph told me to he's like you better be good cuz Uncle Dave's in the and I said I said I don't know what that means but that is that just sounds so funny Uncle Dave's here he's like dog you need to bring it the uncle uncle Dave is in the crowd uncle Dave

took a break from jacking off in his parents basement as a 47-year-old man to come scout some talent and I remember seeing him in the audience he's gonna hear that he's gonna hear that he's gonna have to beat off it's gonna make him a horn is cafe Japanese solar I don't think so not as a mic at least no certainly not as a mic but no I never went there dude former cafe Japanese space gutted I used to go there in college to do soccer bombs they didn't card you were down there off at foggy bottom foggy bottom yeah yes Japanese which is also your nickname after you spoke about the lounge yeah both the lounge rendezvous she fikes she fikes I do remember

she fikes are still kicking is there it comes back every like but way back in the day the the the the p-street mics were so ho Japanese bossa bossa was on 18th Street that was before my four me as well my brother I was still in Baltimore kicking around 16 year old phenom now it's 35 years old don't forget I'm the oldest one on the show except in cases were being that makes you a loser in which case you are both the oldest and Lord like I don't want to get in the middle of this age dispute but you are Lord licorice listen I was born during the Reagan administration and I'm proud of it I'm proud you were at

the last yeah the Nancy Reagan I got the last yeah you were born Adam was born during the Nancy Ray glad I got the last year of the Gipper the best president to suck dick Adam doesn't Adam only knows the first ladies Nancy was super ahead of it I would love to get my dick sucked by Nancy my wife sucks the Duke penis in front of me I knew one day I'd have to bomb several countries to get over it now dude I bet you Reagan loved watching his bitch suck cock in front of him he wanted the wall torn down because his wife was getting fucked Mr. Gorbachev blasts down this and blow out her walls mm-hmm I think Gorbachev

should I throw out my TV and get a fish tank no but I like this this these images but you I am fairly certain you will be a fish tank guy at a certain point your life but you've been wrong about everything no I think you know what I could let's run down through Adam's takes okay let's go number one adult first the take he had as an adult is real good went over there to volunteer no pretty fuck participated in a summer time it is very funny that you did go participate you get mad as you get mad I did not participate in a genocide you went over there I worked on an ambulance it's like for all the

jokes we do it's not like me and stop went on some Lewis and Clarks here on an ambulance imagine if like I when I yeah when I was 18 I went to a reservation to just boss people around yeah as part of my my church was in Israeli my church group went to a reservation to shove people around and eat their food and just admit you had a small part in genocide a very small part and the incredibly small part no but here's a good look if somebody went to like Hitler Youth Camp they're like yeah but I just brought the napkins you know you wouldn't be like oh bye by me right you know you thought I brought

napkins to Israel and now what you did no that's the get because it's a fight to that's that's there that's you know how like the Naval Academy where they ought to climb up that statue yeah and the IDF they have a graduation party and they all fight to be the person that just has to bring the cops yeah that's on napkin duty it is really out to climb to have the cheapest involvement that really is a cushy job the napkin guy mm-hmm no I did not participate in the genocide nobody wants to bring the Mountain Dew Code red and once again our official stance is free Palestine but well my stance is more just fuck

Israel it gives me cover right now sure what's Gaza anyways fuck Israel oh they're doing that mmm yeah but did you see this Jeremy Corbin thing where he's like next to an inflatable like guy with horns at his speech and they're trying to say that it's like an anti-Semitic caricature yeah it looks like a like an Arab what it is the Saudis right no it's one of the the emirate guys some UAE guys the Emirati they're trying to say that that's anti-Semitic to the yeah I saw that I saw that tweet and I thought it'd be funny to go down to like the protests in Bay Ridge be like vicious

anti-Semitism on display and then just zoom the video in on like a Bank of America posted on social media be like people are informing me that this bank was already there but it's not part of the protest but it's very clear that subtext is clear text obviously the implication is the Jews run all the banks yeah that's why they're protesting outside of it yeah yeah oh you couldn't have picked anywhere else anyway you couldn't have another 14 block stretch it didn't have a bank on it okay so I want to return the what are all Adam's bad takes okay what's my second bad take but but I gotta be honest I

could see you getting into because you like learning stuff right yeah and you like tinkering you like you know you like to dabble with yeah but I'm bad at plants yeah but you could check I kill balance and you could he might he might kill much like you could build little like it's why I'm not good at cooking cooking is a very one-way process what do you mean all the things I like to do or like iterative or you can like you know you get a lot of do-overs right you fuck around until you problem solve exactly yeah that's true that with cooking no you can't not really the food is cooked or it's not motherfucker yeah but

you can do it yeah but I mean I mean the I mean real men's meals of your Salisbury steaks and stuff you're having what a piece of lettuce marinated in sunny D is this another one of my bad takes yes yeah juice marinated lettuce yeah classic Israeli treat that's true yeah they do like that over there I would like a fish they banned the cops from pride and the cops are upset about it you can't be a gay cop anymore well they it's just very funny it's like they just have to be mad at everything oh the actual cops are mad so some like guys like this is unbelievable that these queers don't want us there yeah like

those guys those guys approved of it like six months ago right damn so who's so now you know what that means what's that we can go run a market pride oh I thought you were gonna say we need to be the new cops no that's what I know the opposite way now we be I thought you're gonna say we get a stop once you know that's pretty good oh man that would be awesome the fried parade we should have a just a snack parade we should if you can have like all these other how about just a parade for just generalized hedonism absolutely not homosexuality version yeah just I mean maybe if you want to yeah that's true there's a part of it

that's gay lazily having gay sex I don't wear a costume or be jacked anymore yeah what I want is to watch it's just I have a float and it's just me on like a bit like a big platform with like wheels under it and I'm sitting on a couch watching the Lord Licorice movie and I'm like you know it's not as gay as I thought it would be it's actually pretty smart it's for a don't George Sakaz I good job thank you coming everybody okay so is he the grand marshal of the I have to suck penis oh nice penis oh nice penis mr. George the guy me will be having geesex will be having geesex will be having geesex on the parade paired

float featuring me and mr. George to having geesex in my ass you invited George to Kai to the gay parade I thought we were gonna have gay sex I thought I was going to be the grandmaster just because I get pussy I can't be the grandmaster of the gay pride that makes sense I saw him in Chinatown Michael that was Jack Nicholson who's Michael in Chinatown no I saw Michael he's not in Chinatown other bad Adam prediction no that wasn't another incorrect Adam he said I guarantee you Michael Douglas he'll be in Chinatown I didn't say it was Jack Nicholson yeah I've had a couple bat takes be even named so do you

know them well the worst take I think I had on the shows when I didn't know what turf was and I said I think that that's right and then the next episode it says I'd said that I looked it up and I think that it's bad well you were pro turf I think for one episode I I speaking the least the least the least offensive thing that's offensive that's you think that's the most offensive thing you've said on the show no I said the word that's true I said all the anti-semitic things that you said on the show you say anti-semitic we've said them together collectively if I had just been doing this show with my normal black with

female friends yeah what we all know look I did not to tear down the fourth wall but the show ends you go home to your girlfriend stop goes to Chinese buffet that's right that's right and me and my friends the black girls the black women I'm friends with yeah sit here and watch names sister and sister the interim yes he doesn't know their actual names he doesn't want to dox them just in there be like which one's fucking sister oh the both sister the both sister all right yeah I think you know it's kind of problematic mm-hmm I had to admit but they all look the same yeah the twins

what do you mean the twins like the Minnesota twins you say in the baseball players doesn't know what the concept of twins is unless unless they refer to the Minnesota twins tell me you're talking about they got a brother was the brother he's a wise guy or so yeah this guy Rogers he's coming over all the time I don't know what is he got his own home what the hell is this guy doing what the hell is this Roger what the hell he's a neighbor what do you mean like name but I thought they're all neighbors oh you mean like an a like a guy lives next

store that's what you call a neighbor oh I'm very confused I thought I thought it was the Dutch word for you know sister that's where they call them over there as the neighbors I didn't know that about the Dutch yeah that's where they call a place in neighborhood as they shorten it to hood I don't like using that word interesting yeah that makes a lot of sense like boys in the hood right you know no I get that yeah the thing is it could that would still apply to just the term neighborhood if it didn't mean something in Dutch yeah something like that doesn't quite make sense

even for our retarded logic let me ask you something Baskin Robbins they got 31 flavors yeah who's who's counted all that's such a great question we're supposed to just take that word for it I mean you could count them nah now what do I look like a fucking abacus what would I look like fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson damn Neil deGrasse I saw some really gay tweet from him the other day where he's like there is a chemical that is abundant in uh you know that will cause death if consumed you know and it's in 99% of our food and the

products we consume that chemical H2O water and it's like shut up what are you tweeting this like popsicle stick fucking cool dude you're just napple facts I feel like he really peaked I would say like six or seven years yeah well what the I fucking love science Facebook bitch yeah that was it for him yeah luckily we'll never peak I hope he cashed in on some pussy at that time because it's not coming now and Neil deGrasse no he's still getting it you think so yeah he's still getting it off of like ladies that are like we have

to trust the science that was right because he got she type bitch he got me too he got me too and he was like I can explain I was trying to rip off all of her clothes to see her space tattoos like she had a tattoo of Pluto and I had to pull he's like I had to pull her clothes off to see it this is an event this is weird nerd like looking under this woman's clothes yeah he's like believe me I never saw pussy I've only had sex four times Neil de smash puts on he was uh he was kind of

hot though he was kind of ripped he played bass yeah he had big arms he had bigger arms than you'd think yeah he's a black he's a cool black guy he plays bass playing black guys don't have big arms you fucking raise arms and play bass I think that might be my worst take on the show you're also I remember pro Tulsi Gabbard uh I'm pro like one of us wanted to smash oh I would love to you know you were pro Tulsi in terms of uh you thought she's gonna be president was what's bad about oh yeah she's she's

yeah that was your day after the election you said Tulsi yeah because you heard that hot troupe you heard someone else say that yeah probably but listen I will fuck Tulsi no problem matter someone's yeah now again don't get it wrong don't get me twisted yeah I would like to fuck twisted she has that monotone deep voice Neil degrasse Tyson you're fucking me so good right that'd be awesome dude accused of sexual misconduct by four women she's a hindu nationalist that's

her thing oh she's on that modey shit she's a modist yeah yeah no one believed Chia Amet that's the woman's name that accused him yep and it's like somebody being so so wait so he has four accusers and he's allowed to tweet that shit yeah yes yeah so Chia Amet and so somebody's like he raped me and it's like I've been like Chia Amet you know like an Italian guy right Chia Amet he's like deaf too he's a little he's Italian

Chia Amet I bet he did I bet he did are we going to Navani for dinner and we're gonna get a big old waggle of a moonable a big I don't know that's Italian and deaf you got no chance no sure damn I love all your screen savers now they're all aquatic yeah the aquatic ones are awesome I've been on some aquatic shit I'm trying I might think I might think I might have to go to grace yeah I'm gonna go to copier no I'm not copying you I'm copying dude this cross I'm copying sister to the travel when are you going

um I'm gonna go to the Isle of Lesbos no uh it's where my grandma's from yeah I bet she was dude she was fucking scissoring yeah yeah shouts out to my fucking grandma this this is a hit the hit the she's dead now the staples that was easy button on Neil deGrasse Tyson damn okay yeah dude she's hot but no that's what I said so Neil was raping recently I thought it was like back in the 70s well he said he put he set up a telescope into her pussy he was in the observatory looking into her bedroom

if you think he called her on the phone he's like ah Ashley I'm at the observatory right now I can see your pussy do you mind if I mash my penis up to the eye part of the telescope and pretend I'm fucking you you'll have to forgive me I do have autos that'll be awesome if you feel it felt like you were getting pussy if there's an invention that was like a telescope if you're and you look you trained it on the pussy and you mash your dick Tyson invited her to his apartment to unwind over a bottle of wine

she felt uncomfortable as he gazed into her eyes and held her wrist to feel her spirit connection awesome I spent two hours together her spirit as he made sexual references to song lyrics that described his need for physical release whoa that's kind of us vibes yeah so Neil deGrasse was clearly trying to get pussy from her yeah and then he's sexual references to song lyrics have you ever heard I'm fat by weird Al Yankovic I often feel that that describes my penis when I'm sexually around

hell yeah dude I do have you experienced that have you ever would you say that cock would you ever say that your pussy gets fat when you turn on as would be in the weird Al Yankovic song I'm fat other no in fact I've only ever listened to weird Al I've never heard any music aside from that I spent years playing bass because I thought it was the same as the accordion so smart damn so this was recent that Neil deGrasse was trying to so wait is he did he as she was leaving he took her by the shoulders and said I

want to hug you so bad right now but I know that if I do I'll just one more oh man that's hot I'll car drive home the next day he's on he's on the fucking Aziz shit it sounds like yeah he doesn't know how to get pussy he's too much of a nerd what happened next and he's he got away Scott I mean did he do anything or was he just a weirdo I think he's just a weirdo on the car drive home the next day Watson said he told her she was too distracting to ever make it as a producer she couldn't stand the idea of working with him any longer the

following day she reported the incident at her resignation to a line producer suggested that Watson tell everyone she was leaving due to a family emergency so she did and she processed what happened over the next few months her mind off to went to the woman who claimed to have been raped chia met if you recall from earlier don't say it that way don't say it that way in this context yeah okay Watson found her on Institute sorry look my mind is a workhorse just an absolute workhorse and you can't you can't you couldn't pay me to

stop seeing the angles of course that's true in fact it's literally why I was fired from every minimum wage job I ever had is because I kept seeing angles and saying them out loud beautiful angles in front of customers and they refused to see it as angle seeing mm-hmm they said it was just explicit loud rape jokes being shouted across the game stop in front of families wow it's so fucked up dude there's no way they silence to you and I shrugged my shoulders and I said you break it you buy it

they said what are you talking about I'm like I don't know I just I heard another manager say that I'm trying to make manager I'm trying to make you hard you caught me my goal was to get fired as an associate to make room for myself as a manager welcome aboard welcome aboard you already shook my hand I'll be starting in five now as you now you're and I'm the boss and you're fine and we're going to take my file and replace it with yours so now you're the one who said that you you think

Lara Croft deserves to get raped for how bad the last tomb raider how bad the latest tomb raider is is that you wish you would get raped in the game oh god because it would at least give you a reason to play it to see her get raped yeah fuck dude Watson found her on Instagram and sent her a DM hi there I just want to reach out to say that I believe you about Neil deGrasse Tyson on Thursday Watson allegations made public on a blog called uh I don't know how to read that word

which had previously published a Matt's claims twice I see I don't remember any of this I just remember that there was some like oh this is the one I remember Caitlin Allars an astronomy and physics professor at Bucknell University who said that Tyson had grabbed her and reached down the front of her dress to look at her tattoo at a scientific meeting in 2009 at a meeting yeah well that's that's what I've why isn't statistically ripping this woman's clothes off

be like it's out of tattoo of the solar system do you want to come back to my apartment and listen to Neil deGrasse Tyson while drinking Martin Ellie's apple cider sorry weird Al Yankovic he's Neil deGrasse Tyson it's three names Martin Ellie's I'm trying to get pussy off some Martin Ellie's yeah do you want to drink Capri son in my apartment and listen to the the Jedi weird Al Yankovic son which one is that I don't remember it was that American pie

uh weird it was the one that was the mission I'm already looking it up your chance to know the answer has passed I don't even really know you're not I'm not no you love the word Al Adam me yeah of course you're running with a long long time ago in a galaxy far away now blue was under an attack this is what I get pussy to you fight a girl over he's holding a bottle of Martin Ellie's in his lap fucking stomach coming out of the bottom of the shirt he's on his fifth

bottle of Martin Ellie's acting drunk acting drunk just his eyes closed just jamming out to this while trying like pawing at some woman next door call your mullet yeah this does lady care for a dance trying to slow down you know I often imagine if if I had to force what I would do is I would force my penis into your pussy from that gas now listen to this part bitch we took a bongo from the scene and we went to feed to see the queen we all wound up on tattoos we found this boy oh my my this here Anakin guy there's like fat people that got married and then

like had their first dance to the song so funny I mean chances are it's like it's like people talking about like homosexuals destroying the institution of marriage yeah and it's like no fat nerds unholy people did that a long time ago like the way it works is if you were ugly like some poor ugly bastard you married a child and you beat them that kind of still has like a biblical feel sure but yeah just disgusting people yep with fucking like with tattoos of like the moon and nights from aquatine hunger

force yeah yeah yeah 100 dancing to this yep someday later now he's just a small fry he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye saying soon i'm going to be a jedi soon i'm going to be a jedi did you know this junk i'd save isn't even old enough to shave but he can use the force they say i had to use him hitting good god that's really mean weird owls he knows he knows real pain in his life he's been through some fucked up shit i mean the shots out of him for making a career out of like just what

would be a youtube channel now oh yeah he worked he's he worked really hard do you know his parents died very tragically wait a gas gas poisoning and then and then he had a show that night that seems like then you found out that the call came from inside the house what do you mean he killed his parents i can't confirm that wait did that really happen his parents died very tragically and he still did the show that night because the because the nerds his nerds needed him and he needed to make them happy with his song absolutely this one however yo homeboy

where you been man oh yeah you've been looking for you yeah we ain't seen you around burger world lately oh you know around well piece of pizza think i got extra pizza around here somewhere no that's okay thanks yo ding dong man ding dong ding dong yeah okay wow what if gang what if gang bangers yeah that was perfect that was a great Adam Adam was attempting to ruin it sorry nixon a really good fast forward on youtube

yeah i acknowledge you i might even i might even call it for the day that's it i'm not gonna i'm not gonna top that i'm gonna have to play that piece of fat phobic yeah art will end it did that offend you i haven't i haven't been good at anything like this is people are laughing every fuzz because all the popular kids are probably that's a fat but yeah i've never been good at anything that was insane dude that was literally it could not be more perfect that was a perfect fast forward you scrub take that everyone said i'd never

accomplished anything everyone's saying this episode is bad that we want listen to an old episode for 20 minutes of it guess what how about that fast forward huh perfect fast forward they're gonna say i edited that then it was fresh like the moon landing nope no i might have to i'm i'm feeling so hot off that i might have to just put on a bathing suit and only wear that for the next six weeks yep in my apartment and buy some drugs to have sent here

just uh get hosed off every once in a while outside instead of bathing yeah because you're wearing a bathing suit anyway i'm wearing a bathing suit you might as well just take a bit of cold bath going what i like to do is i i boil uh i get the water boiling hot on the stove dump 12 eggs in there wait five minutes then jump right into my ice bath for all my eggs and then i'm just sitting there eating slowly peeling and eating them just pulling soft boiled eggs out from under my body and the ice bath and eating them in there

that's beautiful man yeah that's awesome probably one of the most appetizing ways to bathe fuck yeah can you go on a like a body positivity uh mega thread on twitter yeah about how i'm fattest you talk about how that that song is i will needs to be cancelled i will but listen folks go to patreon.com slash come town sign up for the apps come to funny moms come see me do stand up go buy next t-shirts go buy my t-shirts uh and uh we'll be back the tickets for funny moms