The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 265 – buck blaking

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

they a mak-uh us a gay, they make us looka like a gay man to raff at us

This is penis news channel channel gay sex How is it tell us out as we're reviewing the candy that was sent to me graciously by some fucking Australian retard It sent probably $500 Austria a UD. Okay all days him Called the Viacombo tell us about it. It's like a butterfinger. Look. Are you getting notes of an area butterfinger? It's area. Is it like a honeycomb inside? There's a honey feeling to it for sure. There was a box of cereal came with it, too

That I love I love nature grain. It's there. It's they're like their weedies. I guess it tastes sort of like Yeah, I guess it is honeycomb, you know what I like it. I like it more than the butter. I like a honeycomb personally Remember honey crisp not honey crisp. What's the one that who wants to take a hit off the violent violent crumble? I have a little taste honeycombs. Honeycombs is what the the neutral grain cereal But it's their weedies. Hey man get your fucking Your feet are in my area, bro the sponsor you're in a chair now now you think he come into my fucking foot zone Oh, and you're getting a phone call on the fucking show be a professional dude, I swear to God I don't care. Yeah. Hey

Hey, my dick small. Oh Adam here put him on the phone So you put him on the phone and we'll let him talk for a minute, and then I'll do an impression of him Just for the fans Here take the wire Hurry up, Adam I don't have to do anything you reached out of answer and see Well, nice fuck you they know what he sounds like All right, well if he's in mortal danger, yeah, yeah, I don't

I'm stuck inside your ass. It's too big. Can you unlock your ass? Can you can you move the two boulders made out of come that are blocking the entrance to your Ass Adam's asshole looks like one of my best friends Cocoa Mountain from open a donkey from 64 like a mountain and there's big expense all white and there's balls to come Yes, sir, actually, I guess it looks more like the Tunnels the frappe frappuccino The outside is frothing the snowy kind of and it also looks like rainbow road on the way in the inside on account of all the rainbow tattoos Adam has the word rainbow road tattooed around in his colon

And happy happy happy pride happy happy pride and Juneteenth That's we've got we got a double whammy this year only nine more days of pride. What do you mean this year? It's every year and well, but now it's a federal holiday Juneteenth It's also a pride month varies. It's never the same month. Yeah, it is. No, it's always it's something that was in June. Someone had a No, someone had a take about pride and Juneteenth Coinciding I think maybe Tariq did nice about how it's like buck break. I'm sure he did. I wanted to see his documentary Buck breaking. Yeah buck breaking. Yeah. Oh, that's what it's called. Yeah, it's about Trying to rape feminized black men. I

Believe I haven't watched the documentary so I'll reserve judgment until I do. Yeah, that's good It's very funny that they made Juneteenth the holiday because like the regular the date of the rest of The slaves were because what Juneteenth celebrates is when slaves in Texas found out they were emancipated but Now, I mean, who knows when the one slaves were acts now you only know Juneteenth, right? Whatever the right date was that's just lost. Yep. Nobody has no idea what that was and that's not a holiday I think I think we could probably figure out by Google. It'd be like if in 200 years

It's like we celebrate October 15th memorialized when I found out about 9-11 and then put people like what's 9-11? You're like, I have no idea. You are some bad day that happened at some point. Yep. Yeah, and we're never gonna forget Yeah It's weird that because you celebrate Juneteenth because it's the end of something bad happening, right? Where's all the other days 11? It's the anniversary. It's the anniversary of something bad I guess it was also the last day of 9-11 like the 4th of July was the day the Declaration of Independence was signed Right. It's like they don't celebrate the end of the Civil War or the Revolutionary War, right true. That's fucking true, bro

That's true as hell Smother observations of God Let's see Your penis is really small. No, that's an observation everyone in the world has made. That's wrong That's because they're looking through a telescope that has to make it Because the tip isn't It's really good. It's really good. Yeah, you know how out of 10. What do you give it? I give it a 9 9

I'll say set violet crumble. I say 8 The chocolate is a little too sweet for me But I like the honeycomb. It says on the wrapper Australia's violet. Australia's violet crumble Yeah Well shout out to them Yeah I'd like to violently crumble up some Australian pussy, you know what I'm saying violently

Juneteenth just go to fucking town on a Australian pussy till it crumbles Juneteenth poon teeth poon teeth How about poon teeth and it's the first time that's it's all about about That's awesome when they found out about getting pussy in taxes. Yeah They didn't actually get are you saying you can put your penis in a woman's hole That it doesn't just produce complaints, right? Yeah, you can also but you can also bust inside of it. You can bust inside You can bust inside Of my fucking pussy

Um, what else what do we got in that grab bag candy there? Yeah, what are the kind of candies? You might as well just try all these candy. This is exactly how I wanted this one to go. Yeah, hell yeah What I just wanted to say by the time this comes out. I will All my my tour shit will be announced Oh, this tour shit will be announced and you can check it out at patreon.com Slash come town where it will be posted. No, I mean, I guess if you want to post it Yeah, we can post it there and then that's the only play if you want to know it's at stavey.biz You got to sign up for patreon

You dot com slash comes down you get all in extra episode every week. You can sign up there too. That's cool It's the only way to access so we have Um cadbury's caramel cokey pokey. I'm very interested less reading more. I'm wrapped very interesting caramelized white chocolate with honeycomb I'm very interested in that What else peppermint crisp sounds gay? Wee wee cherry ripe. That's the candy named after There should be there should so you know how juneteenth celebrates like Slaves in texas finding out the slavery ended. There should be another holiday

for The rat for white people that celebrates when italian people found out about juneteenth That's true. Ah, come on. They're like they got what they get a whole day And then we get to enjoy their takes and then that they celebrate. Oh, they get a day But columbus they're trying to take it away from us. Oh, italian people don't even get a little piece of pussy to pass around um So I want to say i'm coming to portland, seattle denver minneapolis san antonio cleveland phoenix madison detroit columbus tampa mad that he doesn't get the first guises and

No, yeah, that's not it. And the boss of sucking dickston if you're in new york on seven one I guess tomorrow. Where's that? No next week? I'm doing pantheon We'll have friend of the show david cross on to do stand up along with sam merrell our old pal marie fawston and larry owens So yeah, come please it's called the prince of pleasure tour. I'm coming to your town stabby.biz slash tour I would love to see that. I always confuse bellhouse and union bellhouse bellhouse is the big woman to chandeliers Oh What the fuck is this one? This one's good. Yeah, it's white chocolate and honeycomb. It's good. The hokey pokey the cadbury caramel hokey pokey

I'm gonna try the cherry ripe Cadbury's cherry ripe. You know what? It just makes me feel like it's like a hot summer day I'm down on his knees and I just go there you go, bitch And I like flop my dick out into on right under what you think about me right into his mouth That's kind of gay of you. No, i'm just saying with the kind of a I'm just saying oh the candy makes me feel he's giving her honest review of the candy I go I got how you doing, bitch? Right. I just sort of flopped my dick. It's sort of half-armed and it's taken care of under your tongue

Was taken care of by the bitch I agree with that. I think there's a coconut there. No, i'm gonna i'm gonna give this Cadbury caramel a 9.5 on the stavro scale buster's cherries and coconut in gold That sounds like absolute dog shit gold rich dark chocolate. That's right. This one's giving me diabetes Already, all right. I've had too much chocolate Shut up. We'll do the job. We're here to do a fucking job. Shut the fuck up only I can complain about having too much chocolate because I have and we we have to try the peppermint crisp too I had her and my Adam we have to do we owe it to the people for three pieces of chocolate and now I have a head

The little fantasy that was happening in my head that I didn't even want just the candy made me think of it Is gonna happen for real If you don't peel that shit open cherry ripe dog shit This is about to turn into a fucking permanently scarring nightmare for you via me having sex with your mouth cherry ripe I give a three out of ten. Why do you continuously reference you having sex with my mouth? Yeah, this this tastes like Children's cough medicine that a child threw up into my mouth. It's true You know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna drop it down to two. Yeah the cherry ripe peppermint crisp too

And only the cherry ripe only gets worse the longer it's in your house. It does kind of like Adam's dick. Yeah So ladies don't fuck him if you have to have sex with someone peppermint crisp is Reminds me of actually what stov would uh You know it doesn't peppermint before a hot date because so you're like I need my chocolate, but I also get some peppermint I need to keep my breath fresh. It's like mentos for there's like a much shittier peppermint patty This is a fucking it makes sense. It'll be back because you don't have christmas in australia all these chocolates honeycomb based

That's absolutely correct. What are you laughing about? Sometimes I just get I get myself About them not having christmas. It makes that the pepper will be back because they don't have christmas It does Why is there shards in this this shit sucks. Let me go back to a piece of the carrot milk. This tastes like gum Yeah, fuck off charlie for that one. Oh, you know what actually maybe no You kind of convince yourself. It's sort of like a thin mint. No, but thin mints are way better. No, this is like it's glass Yeah Fuck that

Shout out to the care milk. Mm-hmm australia's finest Well, I'll tell you it's certainly better than mexican chocolate Or mexican candy. I've never had it. Yeah, mexican candy is uh I mean, I think it's I think it's it's Mexican candy literally qualifies as a hate crime towards mentally retarded people. Why that's how fucking bad the candy it is What do you talk about chiclay? What do they got? Huh? What kind of candies they got? I just saw like it's like a bag of like spice and salt. No, they have like uh,

They have a good chocolate there in mexico Sounds like somebody is begging for paper cuts. Okay. Why listen? Sounds like somebody is We're gonna open up your feet I've been on a beach for a week and welcome back, bitch my gorgeous girlfriend. Who what's his name? No, it's not you. Yeah, it's a frankie frankie. The long Frankie. Don't a penis. You know frankie. I know frankie the long

Great for bringing me out to this beach here. So I can uh show you my quote-unquote pussy. I've been on the beach I've been yeah, I'm gonna shove my pussy in your ass. I've been waking up I've been going surfing. I've been in mahalo mindset Nothing that you can say back to the grind pussy. You can't hurt me I had a little bit of chocolate. Welcome back to the office. I'm back in the office. It feels good. You gotta eat as much candy as me I brought you guys. I brought you guys some delicious Costa Rican coffee rapidly from terrazu cafe arrabica, which I believe is now Mr. Speaking spanish arabica

Arabica, it's arabica So they stole it from muslims No, they stole coffee from muslims. No that but I believe who had coffee first muslims Muslims did everything first dude. They did math first. That's for sure. Arabic numbers algebra Prince Ali Baba Hammurabi's code Hammurabi's also a great name. Yeah, Hammurabi Um, what else folks and I for listen. I've had a great week. I saw a lot of wild animals

It's my first time in the tropics. Prince Ali. Prince Ali. Prince Ali Baba Um Who's the pirate? Ali bad. Oh, right. Yeah I was gonna say Ali Baba And they got bitches to belly dance. Ali. Oh, yeah. No, that's a different guy. We're gonna say Ali Baba. I was singing Ali Baba Get this fucking bullshit out of here. Yeah, I simply I don't want I'm disgusted by this It's not that I've eaten most of it. Yeah

I don't uh, it's funny to treat food the same way you treat people. Yep You know when you eat you eat maybe 98 percent of it until it's just a disgusting hollow Leftover. Yeah, and then you said I'm disgusted. This is disgusting by this Not my actions. No, not my choice to eat most of it. Not do I yeah consume To lead the food on. Yeah, right Until I consumed it from the inside. I'm disgusted by this The food is bad. I'm gonna move on to something else. Perhaps some of them cocaine Except that I will do all of

I'm a huggin horny and I want to get ahead Lion King Suck suck my dick Suck suck my dick Suck suck my dick. Mazda Africa. I remember thinking like Mazda was some shit from Africa. Yeah, dude It's an ancient african fucking carcum. Not just I was like, wait So you mean to tell me that all of this shit is just from japan? Yep from the chineseic countries

chineseic It's chineseic the chineseic languages Oh I got some head From six guys, you know what I would really like to go on by myself though and not having to be seated with other people right now Where's penis a log ride a hog ride? You could have just left it a log ride Yeah, if I had a log ride that got me around brooklyn

No, I believe I had to change the hog ride if I went outside of my apartment. There was like a I believe it's called a log flume, right? Shut the fuck up. Why we got Alton brown over here. Yeah, we got fucking we got I got some serious eats for you right here You don't you guys you got a little you got a little snack at most. I got some serious. You don't have serious No, you have whatever that fucking that fat bald guy strange eats or whatever Check out Andrew Zimmer over here when you eat a little bit of fucking dog shit or whatever relation dog shit I believe it's called a flume I believe you suck my coom. Yeah, that's the flume of the loom. Oh, yeah

Oh flume flume flume, dude, you guys watch the fucking olympic qualifiers for what that hot girl. That's a good ass sprinter Did she look good? She looked awesome. Oh, that's what our chair big-ass nails. Hold on. I'm imagining her sucking my dick I did You're describing her limit close my eyes. Yeah, she's fast. She's so fast. She's the fastest I imagine her she's sucking my dick and then I'm like, oh come on. I'm get out of here. What are you doing? I'm just telling you what I'm trying to think about and somebody rudely Yeah, you're true. It's your fault. He's trying to enjoy a pussy fantasy And you keep sneaking in there covered in paper. I'm trying to just eat chocolate and I think about just oh hot summer day

slapping my cock out like oh brother like I'm about to make pretzels I just dropped it. Why is it about a hot summer day? It's all part. He can't help what's in his mind. I can't dude I'm too much of an artist. I'm just a vessel for other peoples Speaking of the olympics guys, that's why I found out it's gonna be in the olympics for the first time in tokyo 2021 three-on-three basketball nope No, not that either

You took a guess. It's fine. Karate. Karate is gonna be in the olympics for the first time. That's very funny Because there's already like MMA like people already watch fighting. Yeah, like now the karate is thoroughly understood to be bullshit Except by karate. I love that like all the people that shows the weird martial art Like if you don't see that much anymore because like all those guys are in their late 40s now Yeah, when UFC became popular and the guys are people are like into weng shui Yeah, the people do like fucking taibo or whatever. You'd be like, isn't that bullshit? They're like, no, it's not Yeah, it's like, well, try me. Why isn't any of that? Why is it just why is no one ever landed one of your little weird palm punches? Brazilian wrestling and fucking like tai

Like defending yourself from german sex I'm a fucking gay. Oh, also it shouts out to Anderson Silva who uh won a boxing match Mm-hmm. Even though he's old as fuck Anyway, fuck you don't anyway that Anderson Silva is a very he's a very important athlete. He's a legend. You know, he kept his penis hard the whole time Yeah, with with bluetooth with bluetooth.com. Oh by the website Then if you look at look at this check this out. I'm checking it out. I'm now writing down the times

Very nice of india Okay, the times of india. Um, that's very funny that there's a newspaper called the times of india There's a thing called the times of india because in my mind it's just like Like a clock and on set of numbers. It just says call baby girl call baby girl Right give kiss to baby girl give kiss to baby girl. No, you know, it's it's um, watch cricket It's smooch pussy past give call to baby girl, right? Those are those are the times of india That's in my mind. Yes. Wow. Time works over there and you can check you can set your clock to bluetooth.com

Yes, you can adam your knees look, uh, swollen. Uh, it's called surfer's knee. No, it's not. Yes, it is It's called suckers. Yeah, I think it's uh, they legitimately do your knees look bigger than stav's knees No, no, no. Yeah, my knees got fucked up. His knees are filled with kirkland brand margarine. No, they're not. They're full I don't have margarine in my house. You can see where it was injected My pop-up game on the board. That's from when I fell where it needs to be and I bang my knees quite often That's where I fell at the john rura. It's supposed to just pop up at the john rura fucking, uh Playground when I was a little kid. Yeah before you know, remember the playgrounds before they put all that foam and shit What was just metal and rocks?

You remember that I wasn't allowed on playgrounds No, okay, so apparently the olympic, uh, karate tournament is called. My parents recognized very early on how good at riffing I was And so they were like we have to protect his mind at all That's why you wore a helmet. That's why I do wear a helmet is because they were like he's really good at making fun of retards Yeah At least that's what I told. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I believed That shows believe at bluetooth.com at bluetooth.com is where nick chose to believe We're trying a different type of uh, not even ad read but a different type of marketing. I'd say right which we're not

Which we won't be marketing. We're not we're not marketing. It's it's just sort of a thing It's sort of like a viral thing. Like, you know, it's like did they just say bluetooth.com? What's that? What's that? Well, guess what? We're not going to tell you what it is is It's the um cadbury caramel of chewable dick tablets. Yeah Uh Tablets not pills Not blue shoes But tablets chewable like an ipad. Yeah

It's uh an ipad is not chewable. It's an ipad. It's a rugged ipad that comes pre-loaded with uh pornography of all types Oh, nice designed to get your dick hard Like you wouldn't believe chief in a way that your bitch never could Your dick will be unnaturally chemically hard The one thing I love about getting my it'll hurt I'll tell you if there's one thing I love. It's when I get my dick hard by pills To have some of the most passionless sex to um go through the motions That's the kind of shit you'll be able to just to be fucking the getting your dick hard the way it used to be able to

Or it just works and then in your mind you're composing passive aggressive emails to your cpa While you're fucking somebody And they're like this is bad and you're like, yeah, I don't even care I forgot what you're fucking. I I completely forgot. I'm getting ready to play fucking rainbow road on mario I'm on the rainbow road and then Psy in the middle of the day for some reason Just a lot of sighing And then someone close to me will say what's wrong

And you'll say good question. That's a great question. That's a great question I didn't even realize I was making so much noise, but you know what isn't wrong My dick being soft because despite my brain constantly telling me I need to kill myself Let's see if we can just drain some of this fluid. My dick stays hard. I just have bruises on my knees. Your knees look horrible They look fucking you look like an old lady. You look like an old woman. You said my knees are big You have old lady knee, bro. Mm-hmm. Someone buzzed. You have one of the weirdest. I'm at work. Yeah, dude Okay, I'm literally you should be wearing those big socks. I'm at work and all I can do is to hold the swelling just check amazon to see if uh See if I have any packages arriving blue shoe dot com by the way brought to you by my amazon packages

Brought to you by nick ordering extra small condoms I did not order extra. I'm looking at his order right now the okamoto crown company's extra small condom What is the okamoto crown company? It's a type of Japanese condom that you use. I don't know. I've never heard that Yeah, you should get them special made. They're Japanese, so they're smaller, but you have them even smaller. Yeah Um, well, I don't know what that is. I I'm only annoyed that They're ringing my doorbell excessively. Don't pretend you don't know what it is You know what the okamoto crown is the extra small condoms. I have no No, you got the extra small condom. I'll tell you I did order weights

More even more weights to my house. That's awesome. But I The tracking number has not been updated. Uh-oh, and I swear to fucking god if that's them trying to if I if I like Go get a goddamn Delivery What kind of weights Just adjustable dumbbells. Nice. Yeah, because it says there was a delay. They were supposed to be delivered today But you know who would never do this blue chew Because what they would do is send you dick tablets

In a discreet packaging without any of the hassle of the doctors to visit to the doctor's office. Yeah, it's all online You tell some uh, you know registered nurse But I guarantee your cock is small and shriveled up even when you're in love This is this is people fucking canvassing for the fucking election. That's true That's what that is. That's what that is. Yeah, probably by the time you'll have heard this it will be over It'll be over. We'll already have we will have written in andrew dice clay. Yeah, andrew dice. Yeah, it would be cool Andrew dice yang will be the fuck Mercury chinkery chalk. No, no, no, no, no, no, but it's andrew. It's okay because he's saying oh, I see

I would have maybe something with uh A thousand dollars of pussy a month thousand chips delicious You remember in chips ahoy Yeah, uh, yeah, I remember that that's where you're going with that, right? No Like a thousand you get you get a thousand dollars From andrew yang a month, right? He's gonna cut all I think you get it a year or no I think poor people now get two thousand dollars a year. Isn't that just the income tax credit? I think that's what he's promising andrew slaying. He can promise to suck this dick as far as I'm concerned and I still wouldn't rank him

How about that number one andrew dice clay? Yeah, number one andrew dice clay number two um Okay, so bluetooth.com. Oh, yeah, no in person number two bluetooth.com. That's who I want to be mayor No, no in person doctor visits. No awkward conversation skip the pharmacy. You get them delivered directly to your door in discreet packaging. It's the same Genet uh Gen uh active ingredient as Viagra and seagallis the dollar fill should add in the fill you got your choice

You can pick either one you can get as many as 90 pills a month Which is the appropriate amount which is correct? I don't think it's that but you can get a lot of fucking goddamn pills Just max it out Just so you know make sure your cock is hard man. The world's gonna end. We're not gonna make it to being old We're not gonna need these pills because we're gonna be dead That's the stimmy get your dick hard now while you still can that's the stimmy it goes right for you You do whatever you want with it um

So use promo code come town promo code come town at bluetooth.com Slash pussy. Yeah, I think they even like you can even go to like go dot bluetooth.com No, they sent me a They sent me a thing here No, they didn't you're lying. No, here it is. Here's the email now. Gina is on vacation. So i'm reaching out instead Oh, no, wait. No, this is the wrong one

Here we go, here's the email. Okay. Hey, nick. Would you and stavros be interested in coming on the anthony kumbia show? I thought i'd reach out to see if you're interested We'd love to have you on wait. That's from bluetooth that no, sorry. This is from eric nagel at compound media Okay, why why doesn't it send Adam? There we go. We got uh, would you would you go on the kumbia show adam? Yeah, to tell him what's what I would I would go on the show and I would I would teach him the air of his ways That's awesome. Yeah, I'd really change turn things around for him

um He would go dr. Phil on him. Yeah, I would talk damn. I gotta say I feel horrible after it I feel like fucking terrible. I feel it was very it was funny my head is buzzing I feel like absolute dog. Shit. I haven't had candy. All right. All right candy. Here we go. Here we go. Here's the link https important colon forward slash forward slash www.bluetube.com slash question mark utm underscore source equals come town and

utm underscore medium equals podcast and utm underscore campaign equals r a Dash comedy and utm underscore content equals coupon code Dash come town and coupon equals come town So why don't you so much easier than using promo code go to that very simply go to https colon forward slash forward slash www.bluetube.com slash question mark utm source equals come town and utm medium equals podcast and utm campaign equals r a dash comedy and utm underscore content Oh, sorry. Here we go. Go.bluetube.com slash come town. Okay. Yeah, I like the first one better

And uh, if that doesn't work, you can call I think Gina, but she may be on vacation. She's on vacation. Gina's on vacation But someone else will reach out if you call ask for Gina Ask for Gina and tell him that stop saying don't tell him. I tell him stop And then go to patreon.com Slash stavros That's right patreon.com slash come I should do patreon.com slash stavros. You should greek guy gets it. Yeah, right

Some guys trying to buy a child bride Um, he helped me to get to do it. Bluetube.com. Get by get it the dick stuff get your dick hard Like you wouldn't believe okay. All right, and we're back and we're back and let's start the show Bound Bound Bound Bound. I'm gay. Oh shit, dude. Some guy not only I'm fucked up about I'm fucked up about the candy But also if I miss my delivery of my weights, this is gonna be that's gonna be Pretty sure that was it. Remember how fucking fat I was before I got that weight vest And look at me now. I'm disgusting. You're so gross. I'm filled with candy Nobody will ever have any kind of affection towards me. They'll always think I'm disgusting because you're fat because I'm fat

It has nothing to do with your other any of your other Personality because I'm morbidly because if you're a disgusting body at 163 pounds. I'm morbidly obese Oh man, dude, some guy named Stavros Kuroki Thakis has stopped patreon.com slash Stavros He joined in 2013. What does he do? He's a patron of He doesn't even his own shit. He just he's a patron of uh Curse of goss goss in a nutshell. What's that? I don't know Do they make more money than five years ago? We started doing videos on youtube some youtube guys

cool So i'm thinking a lot of people are making money going from um Our style of celebrity podcast Lifestyle lifestyle gurus guru kind of influencer celebrity going into the fighting space Fighting space. Yeah. Yeah, should we start doing that? I'm thinking that maybe we should start doing celebrity boxing Events against other who do you think we could fight? I'd fight pod save america. Oh, I would fuck those guys up. I would fuck them up

Is there so do you think there's somebody that we could get how much money could we make you got to go for the biggest podcast? You know, it's like you got to go for the biggest guy on the block and I would fuck up uh, um, michael barb barb barbador Door the fuck is that barberado from the New york times daily. I don't know who that is, but I'll fuck him up. He's huge. Is he I mean his podcast is big Yeah, um, what about what about um What's a true crime podcast we could fuck up? Um, I don't know Dude, I how much money could we make could make like 300,000? Dude, I would I would beat the shit out of call her daddy

Yeah, the girl You'd be the right same in her in the same way in an agreed to mutual fight. You would have to fight a woman Yeah, and I would there's got to be a podcast that has another fat guy that I could fight I guess so who's a podcast fat guy I could fight. Um Uh, what's the guy that maddie madlock? Who's that the chef? Is he a podcast guy? Just um, you think I should fight maddie mathison. Is that who you're saying? Yeah, maybe him Yeah, you can fight him I don't let's see how big is maddie mathison

Hey, I'm gonna get rid of I'm gonna I'm literally gonna get rid of my doorbell Why because it's I don't answer the door. How would you know if anyone's Oh, he's five six. I'm taller than him. Well settle down. I am bitch. What first of all, you need to settle No, let me hit you with a reverse card. You're the same height. We settled down. Why because you're the same height Nick's having his taller than you or an inch Adam What the snake stay out of this the snake and the mongoose snake and the chipmunk versus the boss hog against the pig Against the boss hog against the pig that lives in a mansion with an old woman the garden snake The garden snake and the fucked up little chipmunk versus the boss hog

This I love is it took five minutes and we already came up with a better story than all of native americans came up with in thousands of years For everyone wondering we're we are referencing Patreon which you want to sign up for definitely because we went out to launch and got korean food And then we had candy me a candy and then somebody rang my doorbell I'm not I haven't gotten enough pussy this weekend And I didn't get enough We've got we're fucking pissed off because we haven't like babies. You don't get their naps. We didn't get pussy. I didn't get enough pussy this week And the answer is no, I will not be doing the anthony kumia show

I could should just respond to that email, but now now No, I feel like they can if this will be the test Because he's listed it. He's listed at five six Two hundred eleven pounds. No, no that guy's bad. So you're twice as heavy as he is And I'm taller And I will fuck him up He's also an Aquarius it sounds like yeah

So we're the same sign Are you sure you're not a dairy creamy is dairy dairy queen is Is Yes, I am it's an owl owl My teeth hurt. I just hit myself in the face of the mic. That's what you get I do that all That's what you get for your rude comments

Are you sure you're an Aquarius it's not a dairy queen? That's what you get for your rude little comments That is what you go. Yeah, I was like I was was was cute too Um, and then one of the questions is Maddie Matheson gay on mddailyrecord.com Maddie Matheson isn't gay and his sexual orientation is very straight. He has three children as well A big fat gay guy at his computer With just with his penis out like about the masturbate the Maddie Matheson's be like, let me just see if he's gay Yeah, he's very straight. He has three children. He's married to his childhood love Whose name is trish spencer all these pieces

All these pieces of evidence lead to the fact that he is straight I love how it's written like a six grades five six graders Well, it's because all the all the non wikipedia wikis are all written by indian like teenagers. Yeah That's how you end up with the fucking Licorice guy saying that he's homosexual Yeah, who you are. You're right. I'm the boss hog. You're lord licorice. I forgot about that We're talking about animals. You're the lord licorice. We're talking about animals I'm the mongoose

Look you agreed you're a pig. I'm the boss hog. I'm a snake. That's so what the pig's got a job No, yeah, you're right. He's a wild. He's a manager. You're a managerial pig. No, I'm not. I'm the boss hog You're mr. Lund Gardner, but a pig. It's not a formal title. It's a title of respect Okay, there's no there's no industry that I'm the boss of who the boss of the whole forest That you little fuckers walk around in who all the other animals except the fucked up name one the gay little chipmunk name one All the other animals name one birds. No, none of them the elk Name one of the birds Spencer the fucking woodpecker

No, that's not much. Spencer the woodpecker respects me. I'll pass around. No, dude. Spencer the woodpecker respects me Fucking George the fucking blue jay. Mm-hmm. Carla the hummingbird. They're all pro me being the boss hog That's not and they all think you're a gay little fucking chipmunk They all told me that No, none of this checks out. It all checks out. This sounds like a the typical pig sty No, it's I love a pig sty. Yeah, yeah, but it's the kind of I roll around in mud It's the eye that prevents you from seeing. No, it's not First of all, the pig is you're a domesticated farm. I am not domesticated. You have no business wild boar who rules the forest

You have no business in the farm. I have the fucking strength, but I don't use it violence against the animals in the forest They let you live in the house and you see I go into the house to get snacks sometimes Sometimes if I want I fuck an old lady put you in a baby And I sometimes I sometimes it's nice to sleep in a bed, but I don't live there And they that's not where I say they're gonna say I stay outside. I do wear a sailor outfit We've that's been that's been documented because it looks cool And because it helps other people to know that I'm the boss hog I'm uh, I'm the mongoose it wears like one of the outfits from contra

No, you're a chipmunk with a gay little beret. It's not the outfit from contra And adam is a garden snake that's lubed up because he goes into guys asses sometimes I'm thinking about that furry russian snake. You're not at all. You're a little garden snake And you're covered in avocado oil and a gay guy fucks his own ass with you sometimes I'm one of the most no, you're not a lot of people say I'm poisonous. No, you're not poisonous You have no venom. You have no you have no teeth. I invent. What do you mean no teeth? So I'm a worm. You're basically a worm. You're one step up above a worm You're a big worm essentially and I did you the favor of calling you a garden snake

Well, thanks, but you have to go in but you have you are a big worm, but you have to go into the fucking details And find out some truths you didn't want to discover What you're a worm not even a snake I'm not a worm. I'm a reticulated python and yes, you're right. I'm not I don't kill with my venom I kill through strangulation. No, you don't have the strength. I do Nope You you rummage through the shit of other animals and take the nutrients that they shit out Well, that's what you do

And I meanwhile rule the forest as a benevolent wild powerful being I sometimes I go into the house and I eat apple cores from the rich old lady And sometimes I eat her pussy too. Sometimes I put my tusk in her pussy, but in a gentle way and she beats off Okay, but I also get a lot of pig pussy by the way I feel like there's been a lot of tension on this episode and No, there hasn't maybe we can make our you asleep. I'm hibernating as a mongoose. Okay, we need to chipmunk No, mongoose chipmunks don't hibernate exactly. In fact

Chipmunks, they don't even sleep or as the mongoose dreams cushily That 40 minutes and 38 seconds Has to be emailed to Gina the mongoose dreams cushily the mongoose dreams of electric pussy And it's awesome because that's that's true because you're not a mongoose The chipmunk dreams of regular cock. Yeah, do androids dream of electric pussy The androids nut pussily Cushydreams.com

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That's seen where he keeps stepping in poo and police story one is very funny. Yeah Yeah No one's like oh No one's like oh hey for me chuckie help me and he's like oh, I'm a coward So he doesn't help the woman he does he tries to but he's a coward So that's brave. So the guy's just makes up for it by buying a tuxedo Wait, what was the tuxedo? Just wearing a tuxedo around the field around himself. Oh he buys it as a little gift to himself

We're not stopping rape. He buys himself a tuxedo And it really brightens his day It's like seven minutes of a horrific rape scene that he's like Slipping on banana peels and then the rest of the movie's just him having a really nice day He's like you look like a James Bond Thank you And you can check that out at cushydreams.com. They'll send you a free copy. Check it out with dvd commentary by martin she Yeah, yeah, and he played the president. So, you know, he you can trust him the hell is this guy's chinese or something

That's not even close. Where's this guy? I don't even know who we're doing martin she Where's no that's dead on what is this guy chinese? You know, that's you're doing um, vladimir putin. No, yeah, you are uh Maybe a different uh different guy chinese That guy rut-ro that guy's Oh, you didn't you didn't uh, you didn't stop the rape You let the rape rape happen

Jackie you let the rape happen. Okay Yeah, I'm uh, I'm iron man. I'm iron man, texas I mean come on now. I get I just could never reference. No, of course a guy we've known I've known for fucking 15 years Because of something that happened Come on. No, no, no, no. I don't know why I said that honestly shame on me I was like I was like come on dude. You should be able to text children. It's only half You should help kids with their homework It's only half of the help kids with their homework. It's uh, it's uh iron man texas

Uh, yeah It's robert downey texas robert downey texas. Yeah, it's somewhere in between the two of them. Yeah I'm chinese. I'm chinese The thing about me Chinese. Oh, who's that? Was that reagan? I don't know dude. What are you trying to do reagan? I'm chinese. Mr. Gorbachev. I'm doing john mccain. I'm chinese. I'm chinese kushydreams.com promo code come down Come town penis

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You see that? No, I didn't see it either. What summit? But I don't know biden chilled with putin. He did. Yeah Yeah, putin was sitting there and he's just like buddhism. Yeah, buddhism. Yeah, buddhism. Yeah, buddhism. Yeah, buddhism. Yeah, and biden's like, all right, man Nice All right, man. That sounds good, man. Sounds good. That's what we're friends here and my friend here He's saying to me What kind of russian person I said that sounds like jazz music I'll just learn about juneteenth sounds like he's scouting and we we shared our culture

Yes, I said you sound like scat man crothers. You ever see the movie the shot? I fucked the bitch from that movie That's why she's crazy I told putin just because I said look this is all off the record, but I rate that terrible Just as a show of good faith I said I'm gonna admit to see a little secret I'm gonna do both gonna tell each other I'm gonna do a secret to you and you do a secret to me My secret is I raped terror read I fingered and raped terror read a gunpoint now you tell me what are the codes to the missiles Come on, man. Come on, man. It's a good trade. Come on, man. How come you can't even let me see just black cock

You got pictures of my son's cock Let me see your kid's cock By the way, hunter was up to some not chill text exchanges Everyone everyone got mad because he called like an Asian person yellow But also he was literally buying people. It was like he was buying pussy Yeah, it was like sex slaves and he was like no yellow and he was like no yellow people like can you believe he said yellow? It's like A yes, I can he's a fucking crack addict from Delaware b He's literally buying human beings and the guy that he's buying to own or he's like

For the evening, but the guy was describing it like Dude, she's like he was talking about it. Like it was a type that they give different types of sandwiches He was like, oh, she's fire. Yeah, she was like literally. Yeah. Yeah. She's got a little fucking mutsadel in her pussy hole But I thought that was pretty fucking funny Pretty messed up, dude Yeah, it's messed up I'm just gonna keep thinking about that. It's a hot sprinter Imagine my penis is small

Imagine that I don't get pussy Imagine raping a girl And then Jackie Chan does nothing Sounds like a good Last movie sounds like a good movie Or maybe then he gets Said I'm drunk, so you hear you don't and get some food Yeah, I got a movie called brush hour

And it's about a chinese guy with big ass teeth and it's how long it takes in the first teeth He's oh wow, this is so okay This is a big pair of buck teas He's got like a normal toothbrush. It's just like yeah, I had to get every part Yeah, I had to get every part Yeah, it's a whole hour And Chris Tucker is his dentist Damn, those are big ass teeth

He's got a brush at least an hour That's gonna take you a whole hour Okay, all right, how about the fucksido? And it's a suit to make some fuck I love that I like that There's some other Jackie Chan The spy next door

And uh What's the one in bronze? Rumble in the Bronx? Toys in the Bronx Toy police story, right? Yeah And Jackie Chan, he plays a chinese guy that just moves to America And he thinks toys are illegal

But he likes them So he's playing with toys and then like somebody's like oh the police are coming And so he shoves like Woody and Buzz and all them up his ass to hide them I thought I was going there And he goes prostate to get out And he's like oh yeah He's calming and shit Is that chinese guy with a bunch of toys shoved up his ass?

And they're like no, he's He's Jackie Chan I like that he's doing one of his He's doing his own stunts He's also a really good singer Is that so? Yeah, he's a top recording artist in China That's how he learned english

It was by singing I want pussy That's actually true He did all the music in Mulan I'm not kidding Shut the fuck up I'm not kidding Jackie Chan did not do the music to Mulan dude

He literally did That's all the songs No chance bro Yeah, I'll make a man out of you That's all Jackie Chan's song That's all Jackie Chan Let's get down to business It is real

No, it is real Jackie Chan is like their Jamie Foxx Yeah, he's a quadruple threat He's a singer He's an actor, he's a fighter And he's a threat to all women This is his song

This is chinese Billy Joel's Jackie Chan Yeah It's really good He's a lyricist In case you wanted to sing along Translutorated It's fun It's sick

It's great Imagine You get like a big ass boat Right? A speaker sound system And then You go out on the bay and pull up right next To someone else's boat that's anchored

And then park your shit and just blasting this Just getting trashed by yourself This is chinese shit Chinese shit Don't say a word Yeah So good It's so good

It is my favorite Oh shit This is very good Disney's classic Mulan flopped in China Because audiences didn't think she looked Chinese enough That's not even a joke Oh shit

Alright Jackie Oh man Jackie Jackie can hit it Jackie Chan's song This is album Music Music Music

Music 想何時你夢想 錯額守護 卻任何驚大異樣 在眼中 純讚相 在腦中 是最香

看著我領地 我不緊張 對著我領地 不知心癢 不必猜測 一我靈敏 沉默理想 愛令你

快駕見緊張 愛令你 說不見心癢 多天陣 可愛寡樣 賣你的腳 Damn 傾出你夢想

充滿熱情 患著 My love 眼內燃眉小寬 Oh, I love the title of this one. Okay, I love you. Wow, that song... I know we say this for a lot of things, but that makes...

Makes me want to do cocaine. Your rule is knowing that these motherfuckers could just destroy our currency and then nuke us to hell. Yeah. I want that, dude. Fuck my currency. And then listening to this afterwards. Dude, you know a bunch of them have laid pipe to that album.

Absolutely. He was awesome in China. There's been like 300 million people more than that. If you went on TV and said that this music sucks, you'd be thrown in jail. I mean, I love that. I kind of like that. Yeah, dude.

People don't really run their mouths over there. It's like you either got to have absolute freedom. You're going to be like a free speech absolutist. Or you get thrown in jail for criticizing state-sponsored media. I agree. You know, I don't want this half-step bullshit or this stuff. It's like, well, we have freedom of speech, but if you offend anyone in the slightest,

we kick your legs out from under you in terms of economic means. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I would rather just be put in prison. Because at least then you could be a martyr instead of just a guy that then has to work at like autos. Right. You know?

Also, this music rocks. It's awesome. It's really good. It makes me horny. I have a right to come down. It's on and off. Yeah, we don't want to hear it. I hope I get a cease and desist from Jackie Chan.

From the CCP? Yeah. I'd like to CC Pussy. I would like to CC some Chinese Pussy. Me too, my brother.