The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 271 – pussy passports

Episode Date: August 5, 2021

if I gotta get a medicine to go to a restaurant women gotta show me they pussy also

Uh, well, we're coming in hot with absolutely nothing this week. It's, uh, yeah, a lot of people complain. They say, oh, the show is past its prime. You know, it peaked, and now it's only getting worse. That's right. Yeah, we've heard your complaints. And, uh, A, who cares, B, I care, no, you don't, no, don't pretend you care. No, no, I said it sarcastically.

Now, if I don't try and play the other side of the coin, none of us are passionate about this. I wasn't being sarcastic. I care. Now, if you were to say such awful things about my Bijan freeze grooming business, yep. That might get to me if they find out the name of it. They're going to just bomb your Google reviews page. Your Google reviews are going to go down.

The Bijan off. Yeah. Bijan off. Bijan off a Bijan freeze grooming business by a gentleman who's not as gay as you might think. That's right. He's actually straight as hell. He's just gay enough to sneak his way into the good graces of a Bijan freeze owning type

of bitch. Of the Bijan freeze industry. Mm-hmm. Joey, we can use the dogs to get the women we have sex with. We can fuck the dogs. Chandler, that's a great idea. I'm Italian. Chandler.

I want pussy, you know. Me, Paul, fucking sub. If you want to hear the rest of that, go to Patreon. Oh yeah, the Patreon this week was really good. It was really good. It was really good, dude. It was pretty good. Yeah, that's what we're saying.

It's too hot. It's too damn hot. It doesn't matter. And we got Indian food. It was on in hindsight, it wasn't a mistake. I mean, it doesn't matter how much you blast say it was an Adam decision. This show is only good. You're right.

You know what? I have to say Adam's right. That was an Adam decision. If I pushed Indian food in 90 degrees, hand up, we'd be crucifying. You're right. We should have gotten Cuban food instead. Yeah. I could have gotten a fucking salad there in a sandwich.

You could have gotten a salad at the fucking Indian restaurant. No, you can't get salad and they're vegetarians. What do you mean? I don't have salad. It's different hot sauces and sugary hot things in different hot sauce. Look, I enjoyed the meal, but I'm slugging. The meal was good. I just feel like dog shit and that we walked home seven blocks and 90 degree heat.

But you know what, guys, none of that matters because I'm with my friends right now. It sounds like it does matter because you were at Mr. Blame Joey Blamey on it. Okay. Well, it feels good. It's everyone's fault, but fucking mine. I will say if it was Adam's, I'm with you, Adam, because you let's remind everyone you've blown it many times on meal calls. Many times.

Listen, I feel like I have to think anything you could eat when it's this hot. I mean, it's brutal. It's you go outside and it feels like a cold, a cold meal. It feels like it feels like having your face pissed on. Yeah. And I even pissed on like a woman's just like, just like a venting, like a gas out of her, like a fat, a fat smelly pussy gas in her hot piss. Well, folks, the only way to describe the humidity levels out today is like a fat pussy

gas hissing in your face. Okay. That's the weather for it's going to be bad. And we're going live to Mario Jacante's with the traffic report. Right. Thanks, Megan. I'm fucking gay. And I suck.

I repeat, okay, we're back in studio and and we said it feels like a fat woman's pussy. So to actually give you guys a demonstration, we are going to put our faces come back from right by a couple of fat ladies that's been going around to school showing children her fat pussy and some tricks she can do with it. She's doing it to teach them about global warming. I'm going to show us some of those before she heads to John Rocket Elementary School. Nice. To show her pussy her pussy out to the two of the baseball picture.

No, that's John Rocker Rocker who had some insights on what it's like to live in New York City. New York City. I was trying to think of it. I was trying to think of the name of a segregationist and what popped into my head was Johnny Rockets. Yeah. He used to be one of my favorite restaurants as a child. That's a fucking bad choice.

I love Strom Thurman. That's who I wanted. Strom Thurman. I was just thinking about Johnny Rockets segregationist as Strom Thurman with some secret black pussy on the side. Secret black pussy. A tale as old as time. Secret black pussy.

Secret black pussy. I love that song. I loved a movie called Secret Black Pussy and it's like maybe a hot black girl that's James Bond. Fat gay. Fat gay. Burn up. Burn up.

What's that? Why are you singing that? That's just a song about a guy. Interesting. Yeah. Why are you getting so... Just curious. Why are you getting so defensive?

Why are beads of sweat? Excuse me. I'm not sweating. Why are beads of sweat? I'm not sweating. I was the only one who dressed sensibly. I have a cut off shirt. Really?

And I have shorts. Because Nick did promise us no walks. He said we have work to do today. No long walk in the middle of the day. Well, we didn't go on a long walk. It was the last walk was... We were planning on a long walk. Last walk was what Claire Danes might call a walk to remember.

I don't know. I think that was Mandy Moore. I think it was Omar Sharif and Claire Giroldo. Claire Giroldo. A hot little teen starlet from the 2000s. She was great at roasts. I think it was Omar Monday and Julia Smells. Julia Smells is one of those female comedies.

Julia Styles does seem like out of all those ladies she has to smell. Isn't there a girl named Julia Smells that does comedy in Brooklyn? I don't believe so. I think it is. Yeah. Julia Smells? No, I don't think so. She's got a master's degree.

She's changing the way people think about comedy. Her set is her just doing the New York Times crossword. Yeah. I don't know her. Julia Smells. Yeah. She's deconstructing the genre. You're deconstructing my penis.

That means I'm not doing it? No, you're doing it in you an interesting way. Oh, okay. Well... You've got my balls in your throat and you're licking my dick. I'm sort of sitting on you. I'm upside down. You're laying down and you're sucking my balls like they're a cock.

But you got them all the way down. You actually swallowed them. Well, sorry, dude. You swallowed my balls. No, you're going to throw them up eventually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got your balls. Got your balls.

Got your balls. But your tongue is licking my cock. Yeah. And then eventually you're going to throw my balls up and then I'm going to rub the saliva. Yeah. You got a whole way to do it. When an adult did that got your nose thing to me for the first time, it really pissed me off as a kid. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

I never believed it for a second. I never felt for it. But I might have believed it for a second. Why are you lying to me right now? You believed it. No. You both believed it. I got scared for a second.

I believed what? The you got your nose thing. No, I didn't believe that shit. Yeah, you did. I wasn't fucking stupid like you. No. No, you're stupid. I wasn't smart.

I wasn't stupid, I was smart. No, you were stupid. No, I was smart as a baby and I'm dumb now. No. You're still a baby now and you're as dumb as you were as a baby. No, I'm not. I was a smart baby and I'm a dumb man. What kind of shit were you doing as a baby?

I was talking at eight months, thank you very much. You really? Yes. And everyone's like, look who's talking. He's like, huh, she's quises. Hungry. Melano Cucamont, Tahoe, Sausalito. Pepper each fire.

That's Sausalito, he won all the geography contest as a kid. Because I learned. Because he learned via pepperage farm. Yeah, you knew all the animal crackers. I was a very verbal baby. You were. In Greek though, I didn't speak English until I was like three or four. Really, what other words did you know?

What other words? What was your first word? Probably mom, I don't fucking know. You just said you were speaking. I would imagine if you were speaking you would remember what you were saying. Do you remember what you said ten years ago? Yes. What?

I'm gay. Ten years ago, people don't need healthcare. If they wanted, they could work for it. Ron Paul is a faggot on that neutrality, but everything else. Especially the anti-war stuff. I'm tired of Americans having to die for Israel. Right. Yeah.

And then there. You were part of the Ron Paul revolution. And there is the one bit of consistency. Right. Yeah. Ten years ago, I remember saying something like, you'll never be able to find me. So the allegations will never surface. But now I'm terrified.

You think because the internet, the democratizing power of the internet, you'll be held accountable for your run. Adam Rape. So now I've come out as queer to deflect from the allegations. Queer me now. Queer me now. Queer me now. Fuck me asshole.

Fuck me on the asshole. Queer me now, man. Queer me now. Queer me now. That's cool. Yeah. Well, you know, whatever. And what were the allegations?

The allegations were that I helped a struggling family find a new house. No. And they said, how could we let people know? He's a surrogate mother. And he killed the baby by letting somebody blow his ass out while he was. That's not physically possible on two fronts. He was nine months after. He was incubating a baby in his ass.

Yeah. For cash. And then he fucked her. For a rich, childless family. That's awesome. It's true. It's true. You could probably incubate a baby in an ass.

Do they have those machines now? That's what gay guys are doing now. And they're lactating. Really? Well, it's true. Gay guys were lactating before they could have babies, but now. Were they? If you get cummed in and gay guys breastfeed each other.

It's one of their favorite things to do. Can you breast my penis? That's a fucking awesome question. Can you shit my penis ass? Oh, man. The lab roguet Josh. He got me sleepier than a motherfucker. Anyone pointed that out that they got a Joe Rogan dish.

Yeah. Yeah. Indian Russian. Yeah. Indian guys are really into the experience. That's like, what the hell is next? Lamb, Louis CK. Yeah.

Josh. Josh. Lamb, Louis CK, Josh. Lamb, Joey, Coco Diaz, Josh. Yeah. What the hell is next after that? Fucking chicken. Chicken, I recall.

Joey Seinfeld. What do we got? We're doing podcasts. You're doing comedian. Yeah, I said Louis CK. I know. You weren't paying attention. I fucked up the bid again.

No, no, it's fine. I was going podcast. Nick went more traditional comedian. Just believe in yourself, Adam. It's okay. All right, I'm gonna. Anybody named Armstrong always becomes famous for something. That's so fucking true.

Louis Armstrong. That is so motherfucking true. It's an Armstrong curse. It's fun to have a private life. You're basically destined for some kind of fame, either bicycle or trumpet or being an astronaut. And guess what, guys? Getting your nuts chopped off and fucking Cheryl Crow.

We can say this as three successful famous guys. Be careful what you wish for. Yeah. Yeah. It's not so fun to be an Armstrong. I heard Lint. Yeah. I wish for Adam to get the HIV virus for my birthday last year.

And be careful what you wish for, Nick, because... It's how we did right before you blew out the candles. Well, now you said it, dude. Now it's not gonna come true. I know. Well, I had a time frame. I was doing magical thinking. Oh, wow.

Mm-hmm. You ever hear that shit? Magical thinking? Yeah. It's just like how women's brains work, I guess. What's magical thinking? They're like, if I go on a diet for three weeks, he's gonna call me back.

I'm gonna get the job. If I... Is that just manifesting? Yeah, well, when a man manifests something, it's different than magical thinking. Okay. Yeah. Manifesting is like sort of like a will to form

or a will to power. You bend the world to your desires. Yeah. To the strength of your mind. Hold on. How did Benito Mussolini describe fascism? I'm interested. Yeah.

It's history, you know. His girlfriend was like a fucking hot bitch, right? He got a hot bitch? I think so. So that was the difference between him and the old Adolf. Yeah. Hitler wanted to fuck his fucking child niece or whatever. Or cousin or whatever.

Mussolini girlfriend. Yeah. I think I saw a picture like his grandpa. How about a guy named Mussolini? Yeah. He was like, I have a door to the karate. Oh, that's good. Oh, damn.

Never mind. His bitch wasn't that coin. Oh, never mind. Now I don't like him again. Yeah. Now I don't like him. Oh, there's some not chill pictures of what happened to her. She got her, she got her pussy slammed.

No, her whole body was kind of hung upside down. Her body is busted. Yeah. She's got a busted body. How's the new camping chair, Adam? The new camping chair is just as comfortable as the old one. But I got a new one that's now arrived at my house. They got this.

This should glamping. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I was really benefiting my, I really pooped. You pooped, you shited your way up. It was a deliberate poop. No, don't try this. What's the difference between glamping and camping?

You have like nicer stuff there, maybe PS5. I don't understand the difference between the two. Camping, you're just outside in a fucking little dick ass tent. Bugs are sucking on your dick and shit sucks. That sounds like being bad at camping. Yeah. No, dude. Any camping, you're just in a tent.

No, camping is like you're being like real efficient with what you're taking. It's like poor shit. Glamping is like there's electricity. You got an RV maybe. They got that. What's that game? What's our RV stand for? Recreational vehicle.

Really? Yeah. What do you think it's for? Oh, okay. Retard. Retard vagina. Retard vagina. That's what I thought he was going to say.

There's retard virgin. Speaking of retard virgin, they had to cancel the virgin Atlantic flight to space. How come? Because you're gay. What the fuck? What the hell? Come on, man. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything.

Are you fucking serious right now? No, he's not being serious. Am I really gay? Come on, just look through that. Am I actually gay? We do this joke all the time. But is that true? But it's not why they had to cancel a space flight.

You weren't even on the plane. Space flight happened. You weren't on it. Yeah, because they plugged in the directions of the moon and they realized it was actually going to your house. I don't understand why you do that. What, did they got Google Maps for a fucking space flight? Yeah.

And it got confused and was going to go to my house. It was going to go to your house. Dude, dude, let me guess. I'm as round as the moon and as big. Yeah, because your gravity pulled the directions in that direction. I wish my gravity, because you know what? People say that about fat people. I would love it if like a hot bitch got pulled into my gravity.

Wow, yeah. And then I just pulled my weenus out. Your elbow? No, my dick. Your weenus is your elbow scam, bro. Nice, dude. You feel good about that? Yeah, that's like a little kid thing to know.

That was pretty meanest of you, Adam. Now I'm going to fuck your penis. Talk about Stov's tiny penis. I'm just telling you. We shouldn't use that word to refer to his tiny penis. Tiny classic. Yeah. Yeah, my dick is a fucking classic miniature.

My penis is a tiny dancer? No, like a Hershey's kiss. That's what they describe Stov's dick often. No one does describe it that way. Like a Hershey's kiss. See you balance the top of Tootsie wrong. Okay, at least we're getting closer now. At least I got a little more girth.

Or I guess legs. Legs. That gives me some like not a lot of girth. Like a little like a little like Tootsie roll minis. Like a plain one. No, regular Tootsie roll. Don't even try. In fact, you know what it is?

It's the big Tootsie rolls that they give you on Halloween. No, guys. And we've gone too far. I found out about shots. And the description is now completely incorrect. No, it's completely correct. And it's wrong. I found out about a new food that they're selling.

I went to the movies. They're called Pop Tarts minis. It's not bad. Dude, I came up with the idea for that. Not you. What do you mean not you? Old. Everybody knows about it.

It's a bite-sized Pop Tarts. Everybody knows about that, Adam. I just found out. That's what snacks are. You don't even fucking keep abreast of snack technology. You're going to come here and tell us what snacks are. I thought it was a cool advancement that I just wanted to share with you guys. And Nick apparently came up with that idea.

When? I remember when Oreo's minis came out. I remember that. There was a commercial with a little boy where he's in school and they put it in his hand. And he's looking at the size of the Oreo in his hand. And he runs him from school and measures himself against the wall. And if there's a way to edit that commercial. So it's a little boy looking at his hand.

And then you see him run home. And he's running to the kitchen. And he just quickly grabs the ruler off the counter. And he runs into the bathroom. Hell yeah. It's like Oreo's minis. It'll make you think your dick will look huge. It'll make you think your dick is bigger.

You could put one of them on the top of your dick head. It'll look like you're gigantic. It's packages of Oreo minis for two free tickets to see Harry Potter, the source for a stone. So when's the last time you legitimately measured your penis? I don't know, man. It's been a while. The last time I went to the doctor, I guess. Yeah, that's true.

They should make you put that on your ID. Dicksize? Yeah. No, they shouldn't. Well, it's all kind of... Some things are private. It's all shit that women ask, like your height or your eyes. Well, let him fucking wonder.

No. There should be a couple of questions for the guys on the ID. Oh, so the guys are the ones who want to know how big your dick is? Yeah. No, it's the girl. Who the fuck? Who's at random messaging you? It's all guys.

It's always the fellas. What do you mean? It's always guys. See my dick? Yeah. Yeah. I've never gotten a guy asking. I mean, I guess I'm kind of...

You're out of your mind. Well, I guess I kind of just want to oil you up and roll you around like a big old... Like a big old butterfly. In a sexual manner? Yeah. Make Thanksgiving dinner, I guess, in the bedroom. That's true. What they call it?

Look, they want to see my dick, but... Play pilgrims and Indians. So you're saying gay men. Playing the first... Playing the first dinner. Playing the first Thanksgiving. Little Plymouth Rock. And I'm the dinner?

My ass or my dick? And they're basting. You're a nice hot roll. They want to split you open and have some steam coming off? Yeah. Big old piece of Hawaiian king's bread. Oh, so good. So damn good that stuff.

Hawaiian bread. Well, girls may not ask because they don't have the... Oh, good lord. You know what they would ask about is taking their pill... A dick tablet? Chewable by the good... Chewable dick tablet? at bluechew.com.

Home of Chewables. I love Chewables. I'll tell you what, folks, if you're new to the show and you've been listening for the last 20 minutes and you're like, this is one of the funniest things... How can I... This is a funny show. I need to give these guys money. They're working for it.

I need to give them money and their sponsors money. I'll tell you what, I saw the fucking Beatles with fucking social distortion live. Well, no way. Carnegie Hall fucking January 87, 1977. Really? And I'll tell you... What was the show? What?

Was it a good show? I mean, it's historical. It's probably the crowning achievement of my life. A guy that's been living in a rent-controlled apartment on the Upper West Side since 1915. When I was a part of the free love movement by seeing Bob Dylan all the time. And dressing like Bob Dylan and pretending I was Bob Dylan. And carrying a guitar around to hit on women. Getting a little pussy but not enough.

Getting a very little amount of pussy that in my senior citizen years I've convinced myself a lot. With every year, with more people that have died, I embellish how much I used to fuck. And now my entire life is just creeping people out on Facebook. Posting pictures of pictures that are clearly framed. You might have framed Polaroids in my house. Yes, you can see the fucking reflection coming off of the fucking glass. When I saw that and I listened to this show and I said, I listened to the first 20 minutes of the show and I said,

these guys, it reminds me of fucking Dylan and McCartney in concert together. Yes. Corona Park, 1977. Corona Park. I went with my girlfriend at the time. She's half Puerto Rican. About 95% Jewish but she had a tan. Yeah.

Puerto Rican style. Diane Feinstein. I used to call her Feinstein C. That hot piece of pussy. Yeah, Feinstein C. Yeah. And we went together and I never fucked her. How long were you guys dating?

How long were you guys dating? We were going steady for a while. You were going with her? I spent, that year my father died. I inherited $3,500 and she took all of it. That was a summer of love. And the only thing that makes me feel remotely like that feeling. It's going to bluech.com to buy chewable tablets.

To make my dick hard. To make my dick hard. And I look at that Polaroid of me outside of the Bob's Big Boy in Asbury Park, New Jersey with the man I thought was Bruce Springsteen's manager. But it wasn't. It wasn't. It was just a, it was just some guy. But you know, I was basically famous.

Yeah. You had a moment. That was a moment. You had a real moment. And I went to bluechew.com and Adam, why don't you do us? Why don't you tell us about your experience? My experience with chewable tablets. Chewable tablets.

Well, I had a great experience. Chewable cock tablets. Because one of the benefits of bluechew.com is that there are no in-person doctor visits. And there are a lot of doctors around town that I'm banned from seeing actually. Right. How come? Because I tried to see them too many times. I was making up ailments.

But now you're showing each other cool things on the phone. What was it? Don't worry about it, dude. Can I see it? Just keep talking about the fucking pills. I just full-lifted out. They're not pills. They're chewable tablets.

Yeah, that's right. Good job, Adam. And so anyway, I was able to have a brief consultation over video conference with a medical professional that bluechew.com set me up with. And I was immediately provided with a prescription for Sadaw. So Dalla fill and Talaida fill. Both. Both of them.

No, you choose one. Or I chose one. It was right for you. She said, you want the red pill or the blue pill? Yep. And I went blue pill. Wow. Send me back.

Send me back. But with a hard-ass dick. With a hard-ass dick. Send me back. Neo, you can either take the red pill and know what's going on, but your dick will be soft as shit. Or the blue. Or you take the blue.

You take the red pill. You join me in the real world. Where you take the blue pill, you get a bunch of chubby pussy. Listen, one of the world's finest delicacies, if you ask me. Yeah. Thank you. Little piece of chubby pussy pie. Well, it's the Ford Model T.

Yeah. Of pussy. Classic. The pussy for the middle class. That's right, brother. That's absolutely correct. Anyway, so after a brief consultation, I'm a blue collar guy and my dick is a blue tablet kind of dick.

I got, I got blueed up after a brief consultation. The blue collar comedy tour is actually, it's just, they take one of Stoff's balls and everyone laughs at it and his penis, and then they laugh at it, and then they laugh at his other ball. Why? Where's the collar part? Why is that? He's wearing a shirt.

A blue shirt. It's a blue shirt. Kind of a Best Buy uniform. And it's all at blueshirt.com. What the hell? Hey, blue shirt doctor. Are you serious? Yeah.

And after, after taking these chewable tablets, I have received no complaints in the bedroom. Afterwards, I have received a couple suspicious text messages from lovers of mine, but in the bedroom, they say, what the hell were you thinking of a man again? What the hell? Because your dick was fully hard. What the hell is going on? Okay. That's a mean, that's a rude, that's a rude impression.

It's me. Your boyfriend from hell. Your boyfriend, Satan. That's scary. Yes. I mean, I have. You filled my ass too good, Adam. Yeah, it's true.

I've been topping Satan much like Saddam Hussein in the South Park movie. Right. Yep. And we've been having fantastic sex. That's awesome. Thanks to the chewable tablets. It's only thanks to the chewable tablets provided to me from bluetchoo.com. I love them myself.

And if you love sex, you'll love bluetchoo.com. All three of the hosts of this show get their dicks hard artificially with the help of bluetchoo. And if you want to be like us, which we know, for some reason you do, then go to bluetchoo.com and use promo code COMTOWN or COMTOWN20 or go to go.bluetchoo.com, I believe, slash COMTOWN. Did you tell them about the knowing person doctors? Yeah. Adam is very adamant about that.

And did you tell them about second chance financing? No. I didn't tell them about that. They know you could put your dick pools on layaway. I thought you guys would make fun of me for talking that way on the show. And we would have. Listen, there are no gimmicks. There's no tricks.

There's no... I'm getting sweet podcasts with our eyes closed for the rest of it. I think we should. I'm getting, honestly, this fucking... We had that samosa. I'm gonna need a fucking nap. I'm starting to get into thinking about that old guy. Looking at his penis.

Who? What old guy? The old guy with the big... Go.bluetchoo.com. No, the guy going to see the Stones. Oh, that guy? Oh, yeah, that guy's awesome. That's a new...

I like that guy. Because it's you. I saw the Stolen Temple Pilots. Well, it's me if I was from a different generation. January 15th, 1969. Scott Whelan. Scott Whelan. Actually, Scratch said it was Velvet Revolver.

Slash was there. Yeah. I saw Scott Whelan. I asked myself a question. What if Slash and Scott Whelan were in the same band together? And I think someone from Rage Against the Machine, maybe? Who else was in... It's hard to say.

Velvet Revolver, I don't remember. I believe it was just Stolen Temple Pilots and Guns N' Roses members. What was the Rage Against the Machine side problem? Audio slave. Oh, Adam. I'm a dumbass. I'm sorry, I'm mixing up supergroups. Adam.

I'm mixing up late 90s, early 2000s supergroups. And you should remember Audio Slave because you were in a band called Penis Slave. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. And it was just you in a band. It was a combination of the groups Rage Against Being Straight and Penis Garden. You know what, guys? Rage Against Being...

We feel like we're Penis Garden. We feel like we run out and by the way, you were in both of those bands, too. And the band members were you, Tom, more Penis, please. It was Chris Hornell for Penis and Zach Della Penis and, no, he was not in Audio Slave. All right, man, I thought it was different. I'm sorry. I think we, you know, it's fine, dude. I wasn't...

The point is you were in Penis Slave. All right. And the important thing to remember Penis Garden is that you were in Penis Slave. It's Cockdale Saka. Cockdale Saka. That's you. I'll suck on your dick Like I'm gay Bulls in my ass My dick's bald

I'm gay Puck my ass I'm gay Sucking in the name of... That's you. Power Bottom. Power Bottom. Power Bottom, dude.

I won't lick on a pussy. I won't lick on a pussy. I won't lick on a pussy. I won't lick on a pussy. I like to suck. A man's on cock. He fucks in my ass. Gay Rilla Radio.

Yeah. Gay Rilla Radio. That's pretty good. I'm asleep now in a guy's bed. That's on fire. That was a little bit weird. There's you reaching into a cookie jar filled with con. Yup.

And flecks of cock. I don't need shit. I'm sorry. Not flecks of cock. Flecks of shit. Yeah. Because a guy shit out the con. Why don't people just learn how to dose fentanyl?

What do you mean? What's nice about it? Is it fun to take? It's an opiate. Yeah. I guess so. Here's the thing. Most drugs aren't fun to take, really.

But if you're old, it just becomes an assassin. I love fentanyl. Even if you have a little, you just die. Or is that what the liars at the anti-fentanyl? How about the sort of fentanyl? It's the United Colors of Bentonville. Oh, yeah. Nice little pre-call pack.

You'll hear that one. Ooh, let's say about five and a half weeks. I'll suck on your dick. The United Colors of Bentonville. Bentonville. Like a plum. I'll get my ass fucked. It's an English bumpkin.

Okay. And that's where a woman eats your ass while you're pissing. So you have to straddle the toilet with your ass out in the air and you piss while she eats your ass. So you're sort of bent over. No, you're kind of like... You're angling your dick towards the board. You're straddling the toilet reverse. Reverse, like a cool teacher.

Like a cool teacher. Yeah. And then you're leaning forward to push your ass out. I see, I see. And then your dick is probably completely submerged in the water. That's hot. That's awesome. And you're jet-streaming into the water while you're at it.

That must feel cool. And that's the English bumpkin. Now, let me ask you about the English bumpkin. I'm worried because we've all been there when we're pissing sometimes. Well, we'll make sure we don't make this a regular thing. Oh, James. Aren't you afraid you would fart in her mouth or is that part of it? Well, that's part of it.

Yeah, like when you're pissing and farting. Yeah. That's a good... You know what soft people say sometimes, that guy's not a feminist. No one says that. You thought about it. You thought about that. You know?

Just what if in case you fart into the ladies? Everyone knows I'm basically fucking Susan B. Anthony. What did she do? No, she made the flag. Fuck. No. Who's the suffrage bitch? That was Dolly.

Are you sure not Susan M. and Anthony? Susan M. and Anthony? That is who I am. I just remembered. Yeah. I'm about Susan O.P. and Anthony. That'd be cool. Yeah.

Yeah. They're like, women should be able to vote stupid. Yeah. Every hole should get to vote. Yeah, women. Why don't you let women vote stupid? Yeah. Yeah, you goofy bitch.

Yeah. That's good. Pretty good. Is she the suffrage person? No. Susan B. and Anthony made the flag. Who did suffrage? I got Betsy Ross.

Susan B. Susan B. The flag. Susan B. The best thing I did until losing to Donald Trump, the only thing they ever did was probably make a flag. I think that's like it's not that good. I think it's an all right flag.

I like the look of it. It's fine. Don't try it on me. Think would have been cooler. Snake. It's a badass flag. How about a snake and it says, don't insert me into your ass? into your ass.

We need those for pride. No one talks about how harmful pride is for the snake population. Yeah, they're constantly being shoved up. Hot ass dude's butts. Breasts feeding each other. There's a guy going down the street like, whee! There's a snake dangling.

A python. It's like his tail is slowly losing animation as it dies in his ass. Well, you know what? That's what snake, honestly, on the other side. What are you doing to that snake? And they're like, the gerbil got stuck. Haven't you ever heard of the old lady that swallowed a fly?

Oh, fuck. Damn. Got that. Have you ever had to put a snake in your ass to get the gerbil out at him? No, that's never been a problem of that. But I do think it's a pretty creative solution to that issue.

Yeah, it probably is, isn't it? Dude, you know what's so hard to find? Your penis? No. And your pants? No. Yes. I'm looking at it right now.

A Blu-ray copy of To Live and Die in LA. You can't stream it anywhere, and I really want to see that movie. It's just a torrent. I guess I should. I should get back into torrenting. Is the pirate base still up? Yeah.

It is, I think. Damn, I miss private trackers. I remember when I was the steal everything lifestyle. Yeah. My teeth just started hurting real bad. Indian food was a mistake. No, it wasn't a mistake. Now you're trying to get so much mileage out of this.

Like, I was the one there. Oh, shut the fuck up. I was, guys, isn't it true? If it was me, if it was me, there would be hell to pay. That's true, but we've covered that, Adam. 90 to 80. And I even, I even so much. How do you think this is pronounced?

What is it? Nick's been on Tinder laughing at girls' names for the whole, literally the entire show. Before the show, he was, he was yelling at their profiles. Yep. It's funny that now it's SJW, where it used to be bourbon. Do you remember that? Girls used to say they liked bourbon and travel.

Travel, sure. Now they're all, now they're all communist. If you're not a communist, swipe left. If you don't want to defund the police. I think it's also where you're swiping. Come to Queens. Nobody's a fucking communist in Queens. Yeah, everyone wants to back to the blue.

But you're also a fat Tinder, which is different. I'm on regular Tinder. I'm on regular Tinder. I fucked a few not fat girls off there. Thank you so much. I fucked a half. Hands full of my fat girls off regular Tinder. Thank you very much.

They should make a rye for fat people. No, they should not. Famous fat people. Actually, you know what I'm in. I don't give a fuck. I'll be the cock of the walk in there, dude. It's Baray's ice cream. Baray's ice cream.

You wouldn't know you can't match with ice cream. It'd be you. Don Deleuze. He's dead. Dom Deleuze. The guy that plays that guy and mom and baskets. No, that's too old. What's his name?

How am I forgetting this guy with a buck teeth? Yeah, that guy's funny. Buck Rogers. Yeah. Buck Angel. Buck Angel. Buck Angel is not fat. Well, Buck Angel has let himself go.

Really? I don't know. Is he kind of fat? That'd be so funny. Yeah, Buck Angel is not a fat guy with a pussy first of all. Buck Angel looks like you before you grew the hair out. Let's thank you. So he's still sexy as fuck.

I have to say, and we've mentioned this before, the first time you googled Buck Angel naked on Google Images, it's one of the most amazing things you ever see. I agree. I agree with that. Does Buck not want a cock? Buck? Yeah.

I don't know. His name is Buck, and he came to fuck. At this point, I guess he could have gotten a cock if he wanted one. Yeah. Some people don't want a fresh cock. Well, shout out to Buck. Buck Angel is an American pornographic film

actor, producer, sex educator, and motivational speaker. Should we hire him? A motivational speaker. He goes, this is a little tiny microphone with the fingers tended being like, get your penis cut off. Say it with me. G-Y-P-Y-P-C-O. Get Pipico.

What's that stand for? Get your penis cut off. And where can you get it cut off? And where can you stop? Do you want to let us, do you want to do the honors? I don't know. Where can you? I don't, I'm not sure which.

The cushy dreams. The cushy dreams I got. You can get your penis cut off at Buck Angel, the grim reaper of the penises, the penis reaper. Well, Buck always never had a cock. Yeah. Why would that be Buck's cause? Oh, no.

No, it's got a pussy. Sorry. I got to rewatch the fit for the line. Buck's kept his pussy. Why? I don't know. But it just struck me, and now that's what's happening in my mind.

That's cool. Yeah, you need to watch it real fast. We'll talk about how you can get your cock chopped off of CushyDreams.com. CushyDreams.com is the premier source of CBD flour. High quality. And genital reassignment surgeries. That's right.

Well, look, a lot of people are taking all these unnatural pain killers. Nick was talking about fentanyl. We're talking about all these opiates that are ruining us. Well, if you need to get your cock chopped off, you might as well use something from Mother Gaia. Yeah, something that came from the Earth where all of the getting high part was taken out of it.

In a lab. Yeah, scientists took the part. But it's still technically from the Earth. But it's from the Earth. And it's the highest quality version of that. And it's the highest quality version. And by the way, what are you, some kind of little bitch that fucking takes vape or gummies?

I'm not a bitch. No, you smoke that shit. Like a fucking grown up. So you smoke the whole damn pack. That's what my father taught me. And what I like about cushy dreams is that it does come in packs. You can get the little half gram joints.

That's my favorite. Lottery, pre-rolled joints, an extraordinary smokable flower. I love that kind of shit. Smell-proof and discreet packaging. Boy, I wish I had that for my penis. That's right. Nick's dick is fucking rocking this place right now. Yeah, and it's the packaging is indiscreet.

His dick is fucking making me gag every once in a while. I don't bathe. And there's a bunch of, it's permanently attached to, part of my dick is color, the same color as my underwear from where it got glued to my underwear by Old Com. And I peeled it off. And so there's part of the Adidas logo back there. And it smells horrendous.

Part of the Adidas logo. Permanently. And there's a juice smile on it. Because I was feeding my dick juice. You were watering your dick with juice. Yeah. And usually what I do to cope with this. I did that at cushydreams.com, by the way.

Well, usually what I do to cope with that is just light up and spark a fat one gram joint of cushy dreams. Full flower, full spectrum, full flavor. Available in Create, Dream, Energy. Hustle. Hustle, peace, and relax. Oh, I love peace and relax. I love to spark that shit up.

Fucking choose your mood, bro. Go here, we've got the 3.5 grams. Oh, oh. Grams, those are just metric. Grams, yeah. They got an eighth for your ass. One eighth Oz cans of beautiful bud. And you can choose your can.

That's my favorite part is pressing the button that says choose your can. And I go here and it says Dream Flower. And I click Select Strength. And I'm going to put it in that I'm basically one of the strongest guys. Yeah. And use this stuff.

Choose an option, Ultra Premium. And then there's a number you can add in here. And I'm going to hit the plus button. We're going to max this out and see how much. Let's see if I put 1280. Add the card. You're going to purchase 121280 grams. Add the card.

I'm sorry, 3.5 grams. And it says please select some product options. Ultra Premium done, OK. That's awesome. Oh, and it's 424 is the amount I'm allowed to add. So now I have 424 items in my card. Check this out. For only $21,200.

Using promo code, we're going to go to check out right now. What does it go down to? What's that? What's that $21,000 go down to after promo? Let's see here. Where is the promo code? Where's your order, postal code? I don't see where.

I can't wait till you accidentally buy $21,000 for the CBD. Oh, have a code. Click here to enter your code. What is it? Come down. Come down. 20. Where's it come?

I think it's just come down. Come down. Apply coupon. Coupon code applied successfully. And let's see. Here we go. How much? Coupon, come down, it removes $4,200.

That's a great fucking deal. You hear that, folks? Wow, that just woke me up. I just found a way to get $4,000 worth of weed for free. Yeah, weed doesn't get you high. It's essentially it. Basically for free. $4,000 just by using our promo code to come down.

You can turn around and you can sell that $4,000. You chop it up and sell it as the half-gram pre-rolls. We told them to do this last week. Oh. Yeah, I just remembered. I think I was with Kratom. Yeah, I was with Kratom. Yeah.

We're businessmen now. We're businessmen. This is part of the Buck Angel business strategy. Yeah, if you take our seminar. Get your busies out and bust it. Cushydreams.busy. Cushydreams.busy. Cushydreams.busy.

And I can't believe this, dude. $4,000. Wow, I'm winning in the cash flow business. That's so awesome, bro. And you can check it out at Cushydreams.com and use the promo code COMETOWN. And you can join our newsletter to receive 15% off an extra order, an email exclusive coupon code

to me, so another coupon code. And their newslet letter is interesting. The newslet, that's what they call it. They call it the weed beacon. Most of those newsletters that I'm signed up for, I want to unsubscribe from. How do I unsubscribe to with a cruise letter? And it's all about finding guys late at night at the park.

No, it's not. You are subscribed to. No, it's about carnival cruises, Norwegian cruises. It's about different cruises you can go on. And America's back open for business. And I want to learn about the different options that we have. I like getting stuff on a boat. I like being on a boat with other straight guys.

You're getting there. You're closer. Only other straight guys. You go on a little rowboat filled with gay guys and they fuck you in the ass. You go to the little boat in Central Park and you say, it's international waters. I'm not gay here.

And then you get your ass fucked in that little rowboat. That's right. Inter-smashing old waters. Yeah. Yeah, and listen, you buy cushy dreams. But also, you should fucking buy some shirts at Stavi.biz and buy some tickets to my upcoming tour. Fucking, it's about to kick off.

Patreon.com slash ComTown to find about the exclusive access to information on where the show is. You can go to Stavi.biz slash tour for access as well, if you don't have the Patreon. And we're going to be in Portland, Seattle, Utah, fucking Minneapolis, Denver, San Antonio. I might try and add some other Texas dates. I've added New Orleans, Cleveland, Phoenix, Madison,

Detroit. That sounds good. Tampa. Some of the best cities I know. And Boston. Boston. And I'm working hard to keep adding shows throughout the beginning of next year.

But come out and see your boy. Come out and suck my fat little titties. Or just buy a shirt, you know? Yes. And suck a dick also. Absolutely. Try penis if you haven't. What?

Try sucking penis if you haven't. At your show? Just in your life. All right. I'll let you know. I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to everybody. OK. Philadelphia cream cheese.

Let's get into it. Where do they get the nerve? Thank you. Thank you so fucking hard. Do they get the nerve? Who do they think they are? As if there's a fucking single piece of Philadelphia history or cuisine that would warrant cream cheese.

Yeah. Who the fuck wants a bagel from Philadelphia? Not me. Tell me about it. How did that even fucking start? Clifford the big red dog? No. No.

No, come on. Clifford the big dog? Fine. Clifford the red dog? Fine. So you think it's too many adjectives? They got too much going on. One or the other, folks?

Clifford the little gay guy. And do they ever explain why the dog is so big? No. They don't. This is Cuomo's daily press briefing. Is that still going on? Yeah. Wasn't it like an emergency thing during COVID?

No, he's still doing it. He's addicted. He loves it, dude. He loves getting to it sometime. We're going to figure out the right questions to ask regarding the size of the dog. Is he big or is he red? You can have both.

Thank you. You have to follow the data. So presidential. It's going to be awesome if he runs for president. Yeah, he's going to win by so much. We're going to have to suck his dick. The dogs, Mr. President? What?

When I sucked his dick and the dog came in my mouth. Clifford. Clifford fucked me in my ass. Listen here, Jack, is that so? He's a good dog. He's a good dog. He didn't know what he was doing. And he bent me over and he fucked me in my ass.

Clifford came over and gave me a top. He said, ah, fuck. I wish there was somebody else to talk like. Instead of the same five fucking guys over and over. What about Liza Minnelli? I don't know what she's talking about. Yeah, you do. You were doing it before the show at the Indian restaurant.

Was I? Yeah. I think I was just doing the waiter. I was just trying to speak to him in his native tongue. Yeah, that was really embarrassing. Well, I thought I could guess it. It seemed like a guessable language. That was English, just in an accent.

No, I was like, excuse me. You know, as I got. I don't know about that. If you just lower your volume, I'll listen to them on the phone late at night. When they're driving a car. When they're driving the car. Taking a quiet phone call.

Taking a quiet sensual phone call. Yeah, that's the worst part. They have a very sensual way of talking. They sound romantic. Yeah, and it's like kind of braiding. It's usually their brother. Yeah, they're like, you know. There's always a, it always sounds like they're licking the other guys a year.

You think they ever beat off while driving? Yeah. Yeah, for ladies. That's awesome. Yeah, we've never seen it because we're guys. And they have respect for girls, though. I feel like, well, New York schools are returning the in-person learning starting June 30th.

Isn't it summer break? Ending June 30th. They're returning August 31st. And you know what that means, folks? It's time to start thinking about school supplies. Yeah, back to school shopping. Pro tractors. Spiral notebooks.

Spiral notebooks. Trapper keepers. A gun for some students. Gun if he didn't get any pussy and it's time for the world to pay. I watched that. I watched that interrogation of that Nicholas Cruz kid. Who's that? The kid that shot up the parkland school.

Damn. It's really embarrassing. What's he's talking about? Well, he's just like, the freaking voices, man. The detectives like, oh yeah, the voices made you do it. Oh, he's trying. You think he's trying to act crazy? He's trying to act like crazy, but he's saying like, yeah, you know, I mean, it's like watching

like Lloyd Christmas get into me, I'm a freaked up guy, I messed up, man. No, there's a demon and he tells me what to do. The cops like, so what is, I mean, what is he told you to do other than the shooting that's bad? And he's like, nothing, jack off to gay porn, trying to see my penis is a bad boy, Nicholas Cruz. Yeah. Is he in jail?

No. They let him out. They let him skate. That's what he's doing now. What? Principal of the school. He got off on a technicality. Yeah.

They call it one of the Cosby Mysteries. Damn. Bill's out and about. They should reboot Cosby Mysteries and he and Felicia Rashad have to investigate the women that have falsely accused him of. Yeah, they're just, they just take each case each week. It's a procedural and they debunk all the women's claims, just Cosby and Felicia Rashad standing in the front and P coats and the next to them are like iced tea and little

boozy and like detective outfits and Tariq Nishin. Yeah. Tariq Nishin. Oh, iced tea with their family. Arms crossed. Yeah. It's law and order Cosby Mysteries iced tea was pro bill. Um, no, he's just the crossover from I see, they just have one character from law and

order. Yeah. Richard Belzer is also on the show. Yeah. Richard Belzer is a big truly believes in Cosby. I've been looking into this Eugene Carroll woman and I got to say, I think she's a lunatic. I think this woman might be not so for bust though. Right.

Yeah. That's what they used to call them back in the back in the summer of free love. Right. Me, Richard Belzer, my first year in comedy 1947, I did seven open mics and now I've been on every cop show for the last 400 years. It's true. I haven't taken the sunglasses off because I got a corneal tattoo of a swastika while I was drunk.

Whoa. I don't know if that's true. It's true. Nobody can see my eyes. I've never seen his eyes. He's the same eyes as Adam. Ew. What do you mean?

Gorgeous eyes. Yeah. Green eyes. No, like a little. My eyes. Little dinosaur. Why? Come on, man.

That's a great dude. You know, that's a trope. That's a trope because dinosaurs are lizard like. Whoa. You brought the lizard. You're doing a trope. You're the one that said you look like a Jew lizard monster, man. No, I didn't.

I never said. You kind of implied it. You implied it. No, you brought it up by saying my gorgeous eyes are a dinosaur. All I said is that you're gay and I get more pussy than you. It's not possible. That's the only thing I see. It's literally not possible.

Well, how is it not possible? Because I'm in a stable relationship. He does have some fucked up. Yeah. You're in a stable relationship and that you visit the stable to get fucking your ass by your boyfriend. Your boyfriend. The horse.

That makes you feel better. But your boyfriend is a dream horse. No, you get fucked by it. You dream about it. I watch Dream Horse and I say this is touching. No, you watch Dream Horse. It's actually, I'm sorry. The Dream Horse is a movie about you dreaming about getting fucked by the horse.

Nick, let's do a Dream Horse review. So what's the basic plot? You want to break that down for us? Yeah. A couple of British people, pool their resources. Oh, we talked about this movie. Yeah. Are they all biologists?

It's about Secretariat. Oh. Okay. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I saw War Horse. You're thinking of Sea Biscuit, not Secretariat. Secretariat was an actual horse.

Sea Biscuit. They made a movie, I think Secretariat too. When? I don't know. I think they did though. I am thinking of Sea Biscuit though. You're right. Sea Biscuit with Tobi Muwar.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a pretty cool movie. It sounds like a little cunt biscuit. Yeah. You know? Like a little biscuit made out of cunt. Yeah.

Remember that era? What era? Before the communist ladies in New York, a bunch of women were making food out of their pussies. Yeah. Pussy food. Bread. Yeah.

Cheese and yogurt. That wasn't that widespread. No. Pretty much every... It's like three binges. Pretty much every single woman. I'm at a company called Widespread and it's cream cheese made by Stav. Yeah.

Okay. That's a good name. Widesman. That. I don't think anyone would think that. Spreading cream cheese. You know what? It would be a pussy themed cream cheese spread eagle.

Spread eagle. Yeah. It would be a chick. Oh dude. Hot chick. That's the mascot. The spread eagle. The spread eagle.

It's an eagle carrying a little thing of cream cheese. The nose. Yeah. You know that there was a school. To pussy. To pussy. Yeah. See this is a great business.

Thank you. Just Toucan with the whole front of his face in a woman's pussy. He's like, in here children. It felt like I found it. I found all the kids. Come out. Come look. It's all the way in here at the back of the pussy.

Oh look. That'd be a good one. Toucan Sam eating fruit loops out of a woman's cervix. She was hiding the cereal in here. She's got cereal on the way out of the back of the pussy. Follow me children. Follow me. This is like wings flapping.

Yeah. Yeah. Some woman at a restaurant screaming. Yeah. This is a British bird with his whole face in her pussy. Assaulting her. Sticking his beak. That's gotta.

That's gotta feel bad. To get a beak in your pussy. I'm having sex. Technically. I'm getting perfect. But Toucan Sam would have been doing it for the cereal. We all know he's gay. Why?

How are you going to say that? He seems gay. Why? Because fruit loops. That's like a gay sound. Toucan cram my penis indeed. I think that's pretty fucking prejudiced. No.

Toucan Sam. Fruit loops, sure that's part of it. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to deny the subtext there. You don't have to be gay to have fruit loops. But his whole manner is of that of a homosexual. You're thinking about Zazu from The Lion King. They're similar.

They're very similar. Gay birds. They're very similar. Yeah. I'm glad they're gay. Zazu's definitely gay as well. Toucan Sam is also gay. Mostly because he's British.

Zazu. They're both British. Is Toucan Sam British? Yeah. I would like it if you would massage you my penis. Why would you like that? Because it would feel good. I'd be like this is weird to me.

It wouldn't feel good. It would be weird, man. We couldn't be normal friends again. That's true. You know, it would just mess up our thing. Zazu. I guess. Zazu.

But at the same time, you should suck my dick. Why should I do that? It'll change everything. Because not for me. I don't value you right now. That's really mean. It would just become a fuck toy for me. It's really hurtful.

You would elevate yourself as a fuck toy. Now Nick's playing with the board. I like those sliders. Yeah, they're fun. I'm really about to take a vid of the map. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Would you say you're the Vinda?

You're fat? You put on a song to help us wake up a little bit. I don't know where the fucking wire is. Dude, we lost the wire. We lost the wire. We can't even have fun like we used to. I see it right there. On the floor.

It's right between your legs. I got a cease and desist letter from Sony BMG telling me that if I play any of their music again, they're going to dispatch former IDF people to... Follow me around and gather as much dirt as they can on me. So you should do it. Gangstalk me. You should do it to tell them just like your dick. That was kind of like what Wynstein was doing, right?

Unless you're scared of the IDF. I'm not scared of them. Nick is. That's why I won't play fucking. Maybe I'll rewatch Munich later. I haven't seen Munich since it came out. Munich and Argo. I'll do a double feature.

That's a nice double feature. Yeah. I've got to watch Munich. You know what I haven't seen since it came out also? I haven't seen The Good Shepherd. I haven't seen the fucking... What's the one with Chris Cooper? Superman.

The spy movie. He plays like... Tinker Tailor? No. Tinker Tailor Fuck My House? No, but Tinker Tailor, I haven't seen in a while, which I would rewatch. The one, the Lucari movie that came out more recently that's pretty good is the Bridge one. Yeah, Bridge of Spies.

I thought it was great. Steven Spielberg made it. Is Tom Hanks in that? I'm spying on your penis. He plays a lawyer for a Russian spy. What about Tom Yanks? I spy with my little eye. Tom Yanks is jacking you off.

I'm jacking you off in the airport. I'm sending you an email and jacking you off. I cast away to Epstein's Island. The original draft of the screenplay. Now I don't want to have sex with kids. I'm stuck out here. I might as well. I'm dying for maids and I'm going to jack you off.

Damn, imagine getting shipwrecked on Epstein's Island in the middle of a child sex ceremony. And then you have to escape them because they're trying to kill you because they've seen you for kids. Oh, so then it becomes my dangerous game. Surviving the game-wide cast away. The classic Iced Tea movie. That's a great Iced Tea movie. Dude, that movie fucking is awesome. Surviving the game?

Surviving the game, yeah. I've never seen it. That's our Come Town recommendation for the week. You're going to sit down and I know you guys, you've got a lot of free time. And you get off work and your job at... I don't know where you guys work, Cheesecake Factory or something. Yeah. And you're going to sit down and you're going to watch Bridge of Spies, The Good Shepherd,

Bridge of Terabithia, A Wrinkle in Time, The Covenant. A Wrinkle in My Nuts. The Covenant. The secret is which wrinkle? The Raisin in the Sun. Because all my nuts are basically all wrinkles. Fences. The Color Purple.

The Color Purple. The Babe. The Babe series. No, the Babe movie starring John Goodman as Babe Ruth. Should have cast the fucking Dominican. He's pretty good. They gave him a fake nose in it. He looked a lot like Babe Ruth.

Did he? Yeah. Did he get pussy? Why should they have casted it at Dominican? Because he was Dominican. Was he? There's like a rumor that he was a black man. You see a picture of him when he's old.

A fucking Hebrew-Israelite? Look at a picture of him. I mean, I've seen pictures of Babe Ruth. That's a black eye to me. And he used to go to Harlem and get a little bit of brown sugar. Is that so? Yeah, he was really into it. Babe Ruth old.

I'll suck on your dick. How about a guy named Rape Booth? He's very good at baseball. Tell me this guy doesn't look Dominican. Check this out. I mean, the answer is no. That's a black guy. No.

Come on. That's an old guy. Let me see. Tell me this guy isn't Dominican. Yeah, he's black. That's an Afro-Latino. Yeah. Maybe he was a socialismo.

He played for Los Junkies. Boca Sosisto de Socialismo. That's true. All right, folks. Well, try to stay cool out there. Ty Cobb said some shit about him. He said Rape Booth is what? What?

That would be mean. That would be a mean name for him. Rape Booth. You played in those days of murderers' row. Was that pre-murderers' row? He was right before murderers' row, right? What is that? The 1928 Yankee?

What is the murderers' row? I thought it was later on with Mickey Mantle and shit. I have no idea. I don't care. It's some gay New York thing. Baseball can suck my dick. All right.