The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 278 – me play joke

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

my fucking back hurts...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This isn't coming through on the speakers, so oh, I'll wait. Oh, yeah. No, I don't know. I just want I don't know. I'm think we just Radio DJ the whole episode. They'll be they'll be playing a ton for music. You're listening to you Peanuts down Yeah, you are you little motherfucker Uh-huh Yeah, we were listening to a song that makes me want to kiss my boyfriend Yeah, and then Adam said I'm right here. Then I said you wish. Yeah, I don't wish you do wish
Starting point is 00:00:38 Oh, we're in a loveless relationship. No, it's one way. What do you mean? It's one way. I don't requited love It's the way from my dick and into your no No chance. Yes, it is You dream of sucking my dick. I'm really happy that I manipulated you as a show call that dream of Peony Peony oh peony. Oh peony get in my ass Get in my ass peony. So pretty peony. You made such a mess the weekend episode That happened already. I said that's a little preview for the weekend episode
Starting point is 00:01:18 Which one talking about genies? Oh, I thought you meant. Oh, yes, of course I thought you meant the only good episode we've ever done which was last week's last week's premium this week's premium Which you can find on patreon.com. That's right. And if you're in San Antonio, Texas today the day this drops I'm in your fucking town at lol comedy club Wednesday and Thursday doing shows so come out to see that and if you're in Nashville October 1st and 2nd. I'm with Mike Racine at Some comedy club third coast Sounds legit. I'm in Cleveland the 7th through the 9th
Starting point is 00:01:55 Phoenix the 14th through the 16th in Madison the 21st through the 23rd with a dick on hard With a dick on triple double hardio So definitely come they call my dick Rufio Do they? Why because it's Asian. It's got a mohawk. It's got a little mohawk and it's Chinese size It's got a little red streak in the mohawk Motherfucking Rufio. I had attitude. I was gonna it does have a bad attitude. It doesn't come out to play every time I really I was gonna make a joke, but
Starting point is 00:02:30 So in Greek the word of Rufix. Oh means to suck Yeah, so there's some word playing with Rufio. Yeah Yeah, well, I put some Rufio's in your drink before you became my boyfriend You could never rape me even if I was passed out. You sounded like Casey there for a second Those as close as you've ever gotten to doing an impression Casey who? Affleck. Oh, thank you You did it by accident. That's a guy that I would love to say you like the way he behaves you could potential rooms I'll work on Casey. You could be yeah, but okay, whatever he asked for pussy and she said no Yeah, that was it. No, I think his whole thing was he was like, can I have some pussy and can I get it?
Starting point is 00:03:15 The floor for a second. Yeah, the floor the floor recognizes the gentleman with the little ass dick gentleman from I said, can I get the floor? The floor recognize the gentleman with the little ass dick. No, that's the chair Recognize the chair. First of all, you don't tell me who the fuck I recognize the floor Suck my dick I didn't go to fucking model you in like a little gay bitch. Yeah, I'm Which did you do that? No. Yeah, right. I did mock trial Fucking loser. Anyway, the floor recognizes the cool They had rock trial instead of mock trial. Oh, I thought it was like rock and roll and it's Jack Black
Starting point is 00:04:00 Okay, school of rock trial. Yeah rock and they got that little gay kid And then they got the bitch from I Carly about school of Iraq and Jack Black is like he's a loser And he's like I got like a substitute teaching job in Iraq Yeah, yeah, yeah, like you know, they're like music is illegal in Islam He's like, but we're gonna make fucking rock music. You ever hear a Dio? Wow And then they get they put on like a rock show and the children are all executed The towel man coming in their duckboats my like freaking bad man
Starting point is 00:04:36 This goes back to America School of Iraq school of Iraq Yeah, yeah, that's a good movie and that that's where the band is called metallaban metallaban Yeah, yeah ride the lightning unless you're unless you're a woman in which case you're no lightning riding a loud Yeah, you can ride in the backseat. You ride the backseat of the lightning You surely can't drive the lightning bitch when I worked at that car dealership in my teen years That there was a Pakistani guy that worked there and his wife would drive to pick him up from work at the end of the day It's awesome. And then she'd get out of the car and have to sit in the backseat. No drove the car home
Starting point is 00:05:18 See when he was in the same she wouldn't just like sit even in no passenger drove the car there And then she got in the fucking backseat and he drove home. Oh, yeah, dude Uh, yeah, I'll never fellas up front. Just like just like the Irish when they went on the when they went on a road trip Boys up front wives in the back. Hell. Yeah. That's how the fuck it should be What's all these those wives are so annoying. Did we say driving miss lazy? Did we do that? No, I think so She's a sounds familiar. She's like I'm reaching. I have to be dreaming someone dude I thought so much of that character will be dreaming somewhere I watched cry macho and it's just it's a 91-year-old man and the rape daily
Starting point is 00:06:05 Do cry fatso and Clint Eastwood's like they don't respect fat people We're people too. Oh, he's fat. Yeah Yeah, I deserve the only pay for one ticket on the airplane And if you got a problem with that, you can suck my dick pussy Yeah, the worst part of seeing that movie was the the boy in the movie. What do you mean? I'm at higher risk for COVID If I get sick, it's because you didn't get vaccinated The cry fat so cry fat so be good
Starting point is 00:06:42 What's the premise of cry macho here instead of you saying something that's not funny about the movie? Why don't you feed me details? Sounds good to me Sounds good to me go ahead Premises is that he's an old Cowpoke right breaks wild horses and stuff on Dwight Yocum's farm and Dwight Yocum fires him for being past his prime And then it flashes forward to a year later and he says I need you to get my Mexican son out of Mexico And so he asked a favor. He has a favor of a of a
Starting point is 00:07:18 91 year old man He certainly doesn't look spry. No, there's a very funny scene Well, there's a lot of very funny scenes but there's a very fun the the heavy that they get sent to To like take the boy back the bad guy the scary bad guy He just he continuously just gets beaten up so easily the entire bike Clint Eastwood. Yeah, Clint like There's a scene where they're at a cock fight and Clint the federal a storm it and then Clint just like waddles over to a just a
Starting point is 00:07:52 Like a stack of boxes. Are you here to watch a cock fight? I'm here to eat the chicken Wendy a friend you Wendy Frye you thought they would have chicken nuggets here He waddles over to fucking fat He waddles over to a stack of boxes. I'm a fucking fat guy I deserve when the one loses. Do you fucking roast it? Why won't he eat the chickens want to eat them? Yeah, he waddles over to a like stack of boxes and hides behind it and the federal is they're like, okay No more senior we can see you you're fat We can see you behind the boxes. Okay, that's all the people here. Let's go. I'm back here having sandwiches
Starting point is 00:08:42 Well, that's the that's what I was gonna say before before you said don't try a bit but I the boy says Which thanks for not doing by the way. I appreciate but the boys the boys tries It's fair to say that in terms of you being funny on this show you blew it. Okay. I know I know I know It's it's it's incredibly you set them up easy knock them down. It's incredibly don't forget to destroy ever forget I won't forget it. That's why we got you the sign to wear on your neck. It says don't ever forget you're only here to set up So the boy the boy it looks nice on you by the way Boy goes, thank you. Your little sign looks nice. Yeah. I'm in I'm wearing the AOC tax the tax the rich dress
Starting point is 00:09:29 To the cock fight so the boy travels around with his rooster his cock Fighting rooster named macho just because he was when he's went on he's on social media and he's like eat the rich Yeah, I mean it Characters on so on Twitter He's like a fat body I was my entry point into socialism I hate the rich what rich chocolate frosting double rich chocolate How you mean literal rich people
Starting point is 00:10:12 Yeah, but I guess fine by me. I guess if there's a sauce involved if you dip him in sauce, I'll eat fucking anything So he's with macho. Yeah, he takes his chicken around and then the boy. What's your name? Nacho? All right, I guess you put down a fork in life Yeah, like in a cartoon when somebody starts looking like a turkey you almost ate me see I've eaten so many people in my life. It's all a blur So macho what happens to macho Adam well, I I mean what I was gonna say which has kind of been already done Yeah, which was that the boy says stuff that just I was you expect the girl would go to the kitchen and get me a piece of bread I just in my mind expected the Grand Torino guy. Don't bring me a slice of bread. Yeah
Starting point is 00:11:08 God damn it. You fucking wet back. I need a slice of bread The other great thing that he writes into the movie much like the mule is that women just need to fuck They want to fuck him is 91 year old ass and he so he turns down pussy One time and then the second time he meets a chick turns down the pussy, but at the end he goes back for the pussy Oh, so he turns out pussy twice, but he gets it the third time He well, he gets he goes back for the second the second piece of pussy pie. Do we see it? Is he ever sex scene? No, unlike the mule he does not
Starting point is 00:11:46 Resum and the second I think maybe two threesomes if I Now he's 91. He's a little bit too old for that damn But he's just I mean it is it's like seagull not being able to move anymore. It's just so funny to see And but it's like, you know kind of in some way would be great for cry fat, so Just him in a motorized wheelchair going through a building just like Yeah, everyone doing like everyone jumping like eight feet in the air Yeah, I mean that literally happens in this movie where he just does an old man punch and the guy flies back Can we stop at your boy?
Starting point is 00:12:41 You crazy bitch Get back in the kitchen And don't come out until you have a piece of bread Dessert I need a piece of bread I've gotten into having pieces of bread as a snack It's healthy. It's only bread. It's not that perfect. That's really sweet with fruit juices. I Soak a piece of bread and applesauce and then I try it out And it's healthy
Starting point is 00:13:21 I'm not over eating a healthy snack you fucking bitch. It's whole grains Does he get the boy back to his dad which is like also questionable because the dad is not a good guy and he makes it very clear He's not a good guy, but I guess the morality of the movies It's better to be better to be with a deadbeat dad than live in Mexico or of course, but also with a deadbeat mom So it's kind of his movies are so fun like the next one's just gonna be about a guy that lives in Queens. He's a million years old collects Nazi memorabilia and pushes people on the train tracks And then his neighbor is like their son is being molested and it's his job to push the pedophile And then in the end they turn out to be a good guy
Starting point is 00:14:10 I like a lot of his movies a lot of his movies. Oh, do you yeah, do you like what I watched? No, no homo. I watched the Bridges of Madison County not too long ago, and it was a real tear jerker We're about a million dollar, baby. That is also a real tear jerker Very good movie. I listen Richard Jule was awesome become the king of bitch boxing just to have some Breaker fucking neck on a stool. Yeah, well, there's a stupid ending. You got to become really sad He has to kill fucking stupid ending. She's what her her fucking white trash family takes advantage of One of the best moments in my life me has to go back and kill as I met it She has to die. Why is her life is fucking hell? She's living a first?
Starting point is 00:14:56 Well, who breaks her fucking neck on a boxing? One of the best moments in my accent stupid best There was an Australian man and he sucked your car and he sucked my car They said run and said not even that small Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about and he was of course. He was lying So what's the best moment about cry fat so cuz it's about you We're sweating like I hope nobody notices I'm fat I brought my own experiences into the role into the bit by saying he wants a Chipotle burrito
Starting point is 00:15:41 And I said I'm gonna use this for the character of cry fat so okay chipotle's chips. It's already food now. It's even more. That'd be nice. The burrito flavor lays Like that best moments of my life I told an Australian got somehow the topic of karate kid came up karate kid for and he's like which one's it and I was like It's one with Hilary Swank. He's like, I don't know if I know that one I was like they released his million dollar baby in Australia. I was like, oh, okay Why are you humming the James Bond theme in your head? Fucking dumbass Australian piece of shit. Yeah, like all you motherfuckers, by the way, Australia is so funny right now They're like, we've got one case. Yeah, everyone's going back to jail. Yeah, we've got snipers
Starting point is 00:16:47 outside your home One lady got sick. Yeah, don't even think about going to the supermarket. The hubris of Australia, New Zealand Islands isolated from the rest of the world. Well, not even has that bitch Let's not maybe she'll suck. Not not not not. Let's not talk about that girl friend And now look now look bitch. Yeah, now look how about that you fucking barely got you can't even forward French submarines Mm-hmm. Is that true? Yeah, they had to buy them from us and now France is mad at us Yeah, the France is having. Oh, we undercut France. We undercut France. Why do they need submarines for to go to Thailand for? Uh, what Australia? Yeah
Starting point is 00:17:30 Yeah, I guess some boys get some boy pussy in Thailand to go to go see the Great Barrier Reef. I guess right in Australia There's that in Florida. It's Australia you're thinking Outer Banks No, there's some there's a big-ass reefer ever blades. No, there's a big re the coral reef or something The fuck you laughing before I've got laugh today. Yeah, cuz he thinks he's smart. You're not that's the thing You're not smart. I'm one of them. I just admit how dumb I am and I and that way we can find Listen, we can find knowledge through an honest fucking an honest search of what we do and we don't know Chicken little do you think that's named after it's about a chicken this named after Adam's being
Starting point is 00:18:14 I do think that's so funny that you bring that up. I was just thinking about how that movie is About a chicken I was literally just thinking that the other day. Yeah, it's a crazy coincidence that you bring that up right now Is that movie we already said what it is We've already covered it Adam Well, I was and now back what to the ever-glade That movie the big stories, you know, we've done that one eight times the baby the baby that you guys So that's a real reach at him by the way for you to go all that way
Starting point is 00:19:18 When all you had to do was All you had to do was just call our dick smaller calls gay I called you guys gay try to have a kid and again you outsmart yourself and the first gay couple ever You try for some that's way above your fucking weight class to combine an insult for both of us to conceive a child You can barely land one on either one of us. Yeah, that was a double and you try and do a double. That was a flying double punch and you fail spectacular. Adam's climbing up the turnbuckle and he gets to the second open shits himself Okay, we're gonna bring that up again. No, I thought we were that was just a metaphor. Yeah, it was. Oh, I forgot Yeah, that's right. Shouldn't you be standing up? I'm shocked you let him on your nice chair, dude
Starting point is 00:20:04 It's really it's real. I didn't want to make this clear because I want to create the the illusion for the audience But Nick replaced my old chair with the the most comfortable chair ever That is a great chair I might have to get you you might have to lose chair privileges Honestly, I'm happy to share the chair Well, there wouldn't be any sharing I would take it. Okay. I feel like it does kind of fuck up The ambiance part of the part of this. I feel like I feel like it's him being interrogated The box era was funny. This chair is too nice for me. It's a great chair Yeah
Starting point is 00:20:42 But you do nice nice amount of reading on there smoke a pipe on there. That's exactly what this is a gentleman's chair This is a real learned gentlemen. That's a chair. That's that really in the fall in the winter. Oh, that's a chair for the fall winter I smoke my tobacco there. I got my clothes chair. I got my telephone so I can talk to my grandma who has dementia That's awesome. Yeah, who's this? I don't worry about it. It's it's Clarence. Yeah, hello Hello, Edna. Oh, this is Clarence dickhead. This is Clarence dickhead. You said you were gonna give me a hundred dollars I'm supposed to get pussy from you You have phone sex with your grandma with dementia. Yeah, what does she care? What are you wearing? She's still got a lady's voice. Yeah, she's still a chick fucking homo. Yeah
Starting point is 00:21:33 You wouldn't do that I wouldn't honestly, I guess you're really not horny old stuffy baby like I lie That's all I'm such a character. Well, I'll tell you what if you like lying you're gonna love cushydreams.com You I love the seat and I also love fake marijuana I love the deceit of a woman's pants, which covers the pussy area pussy in a little bit of the I love to this this take deceit to see a woman's titties. I like I like this a woman. I would love to see I love to see You suck suck my day
Starting point is 00:22:12 Adam why don't you go ahead and why don't you let me give me the copy? Oh Here you go. Thank you. Why don't you read that for a second? Well, I think why look at the crime macho trailer It's pretty good. The trailer is pretty good. Excuse me. Okay The company is cushy dreams and they're slow gonna smoke your CBD because you can So far so good. They offer a full lineup of premium smokable CBD. They specialize in extraordinary rich See CBD rich hemp flower aka buds and pre-roll CBD joints And you can join the group of adults who are sick of vapes and gummies. I want to smoke their CBD Dude, I can't tell you that's what I talk about with all my when I'm walking down the street
Starting point is 00:22:55 And I see a fucking somebody over 18. They can't stop talking about it's true How tired they are gummies and everyone from the 18 to 95 demo This is a young show dude. This is like a zoomer show. It is true. That's true. I'm because we're young guys We're yeah, we pretend to be old 18 the fucking whatever years old Yeah, we're about right I feel like this show really has been on that long five years, but it started it like that Very land of our youth very last year. You can be considered young absolutely Yeah, and now and now now we're at the very beginning of Adam's 40 years old Adam is 40 years old
Starting point is 00:23:35 Yeah, two of his wives have died. Yes, we started doing the show But not by my own hands from the from HIV Somehow mysteriously caught HIV And they the doctor said that Adam has what's called tunnel landing bodies Where it's easy suffers from tunnel syndrome where he's been fucked in his ass so many times Yeah, that there's just a direct tube from his asshole through his dickhole. Yeah The AIDS come yeah, it's just yeah, it's like one of those things that the bank imagine using a paper tower roll Like it did yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's yeah
Starting point is 00:24:19 That's actually his age-ridden cock is very similar to Cocks or that you might smoke CBD out. Yeah, and they and a joint that ships legally to all 50 states The true it looks like high-quality marijuana It feels like high-quality marijuana and it tastes like high-quality marijuana. You can eat it and it'll taste It'll taste well the smoke does don't be you know respect the copy Adam. Okay, smoke tastes like I would never make fun of Of one one of our great sponsors We would never have to because we only use the finest We only accept the money of the finest products that we
Starting point is 00:25:00 They're kind of like an AA sponsor because they keep you sober That's smoking fake weed all day doesn't count as having a drug problem not at all They got three lines in order of quality private reserve Ultra-premium and premium if you send them a video of you Pretending to be high off their smoking you gotta be like do you don't fucking I'm meeting God right now. Yeah, they'll Are you here fucking unicorn you get a lifetime supply dude? You're like a fucking lizard. Yeah
Starting point is 00:25:35 Yeah, so shit like that. Yes stuff like that. Yes, it's tripping. See stuff like that A number I don't think so. Yeah, but you go to cushy dreams.com. It's kushy dreams Let's see if they have a number and then we'll say you call mom you tell them 98 rocks and tell them Justin Schlegel Justin Schlegel send you Every can size is 3.5 grams and they're nitrogen sealed. So that's how you know, it's optimally fresh You can mix it with anything else. You like to smoke. They got a customer service Call them and then also call And we're going to try and put these two love birds Yeah, maybe put them on a three-way do it like like
Starting point is 00:26:39 Yeah, what was in motion? Posting a motion penis motion long cocked motion penis long mom motion. Yeah, so call 98 rock Tell them you're from cushy dreams Call cushy dreams. Tell them you're Justin Schlegel 98 rock Yeah, that will really be a good prank and then record it in a state where you can record phone calls. Check on that New York state's fine from what we understand. Mm-hmm They have six choices of strain relax peace create hustle energy dream. Yeah strain. That's a bad name for it. They should call it fucking Feels, you know, it's not stress regular regular chill because it's not a strain. It's not a strain at all. We it's an awesome thing
Starting point is 00:27:25 It's a it's a fucking feels good to do it Like jacking off if you didn't even have to move your hands. Can you imagine a world? Just calming your cock coming your pants with your penis. Yeah, like the way you can kind of like look I'm flexing my calf right now. Yeah. Yeah, it looks strong. Thanks, man. Imagine if you could do that with your cock I remember being in like in like a math class Chance a math class and like some guy I was like, I guess friendly with but not like super good friends He was just like telling me like dude I beat off the other day and I was like coming so hard that I was like flexing my legs
Starting point is 00:28:01 And I feel like my legs got stronger from from from like how much I was like jacking off It's a sick breath. Yeah, well, it's just like we're in the middle class. I still think about that all the time. This is like It's not even really like an embarrassing thing to say. It was such a bizarre Timing and yeah, and I also don't recall. I was just like I remember my reaction being like, oh, interesting. Nice. Yeah I didn't know you could do that. Yeah, just explaining how he got like his legs were sore for Master Bay Because he was flexing them. Yeah, because he was flexing from from jacking off I've never flexed while jacking and this wasn't quiet. He wasn't like, you know, he was just like we were like five chairs away from each other Yeah, he's like, oh dude, I forgot to tell you. Yeah, that's awesome. Do you guys hang out at ever?
Starting point is 00:28:52 No, no, he was like literally only somebody that I'd like, you know talk to in school We weren't like good friends He was just trying to make more friends, probably. Yeah, that's true. That was just go-to friendship anecdotes Yeah, you should he's like, oh, I thought I would get more. I would thought I would win mullin over with that one Yeah, I thought mullin was gonna really like that. It was why I mean, it's an interesting story Now I do that kind of thing for a living right, you know People know you for a rack on tour a professional tell people about how I beat off The secret is is that I do not actually in real life. I mostly do karate in here
Starting point is 00:29:33 It is very age heavily Asian influenced. I mostly think about You know different karate moves. Yeah, Nick walks around on those block flip-flop things. Those are wearing a gi right now There's a very funny shoes. They're the funniest. Anyways, go back to do your job Anyway, if you want any of these slow cured organic Indoor exotic strands that are a 100% hand-trimmed you can go to cushydreams.com Spelled KU SHY dreams and check out it yet promo code come town for 24 20% off your first order So you could smoke and I see that up. Yeah, that was bad. I really I really go. It's my one. I had one job So you can
Starting point is 00:30:17 Unique in New York is go to can't go to cushydreams.com. That's kushydreams.com And you promo code come town for 20% off your first order smoke your CBD because I think not just your first order I think you're next order. Well, you can try that, but You can smoke your CBD because you can't you can tell them that it's your first smoke your penis because your penis smoke your cockballs Cockballs dick. I'm just thinking how fun it was to just change the words of those movies and put penis I know dude. It's okay. That was a good day. If we were we should have just quit after that. I know That was a really nice day
Starting point is 00:31:02 Fuck I don't want chicken McNuggets. I just go by laptop this fucking game You just buy laptop. Oh, yeah, I forgot that I complained about this on yeah Get ready for the premium episode where Nick talks about his laptop. Oh, I'm sorry Did I ruin the premium episode saying that's not Lee? Oh, is that I that wasn't sarcastic, right? I probably wasn't saying that something boring There was no hint of Sarcasm, I have a sarcastic affect and it gets me in trouble a lot. Oh, okay, okay, so I'm gay Hey, so I'm gay now. So now I'm gay
Starting point is 00:31:42 Let me get this because just because I have an interest in men So I'm take I take I'm a photographer And I'm gay now one of my favorite So because I like pictures I take pictures I like Photography and the picture happened to be of a guy's ass getting cream It's a man bent over and you can see his balls in the tip of his penis and you can see that and Probably come coming in and it's draped into a bowl of fruit. I'm sorry, but I'm gay Cezanne called that still life for that. I'm gay. I guess I think that's how you pronounce his name
Starting point is 00:32:20 Mm-hmm her name, baby. No, it's a guy. Is it they don't let bitches do art till like the 60s They did dude back then No, there was like a bitch to pull the scroll out of her pussy and then they be everyone's allowed to do art I'm sure women invented art and that's not a woke take. It's the truth Men had to encroach when they ran a virtue signal when they ran out of John virtue signal mullin No, it's truth. It cuz they here's what happened Men used to do labor and then they invented capitalism and there was now an abundance of like you had to do something so the guys that would have just been fed the dogs or
Starting point is 00:32:55 You know, it's like molested by the church or so on and half for being a gypsy's room. Yeah for being You know, what's what's the word? Heretics, yeah, heretics or whatever the heretics is it heretics heretical But a guy is a heretic. Yeah, and a girl's a hair a bitch. That's right. So anyways, they invented what have you finished? You had read yet. It's done, baby. We can get back to our good show. Hi I don't I'm bird Reynolds Oh
Starting point is 00:33:29 My my dick fell off So I'm dying. Hey, I'm dickless Bert Reynolds dickless Bert Reynolds folks. Yeah, this is Yeah, I need a job so they fucking would just be women stay at home They'd paint pictures and fucking wrote books right gay shit like that Oh, but now that my dick turned into a fucking job. So that's why guys started doing that. Interesting. Yeah I thought pictures are pretty gay, but I have to say I saw a painting that changed my mind Oh, yeah When I was in France, I saw this painting called
Starting point is 00:34:02 Origin du Monde Gustave Corbet The and it's just a pussy. It's it's really famous boost inside my peanuts Yeah, be this out the month. Oh, so look up the painting soft. It's say it again It's the or I think it's origin of the world origin do you mind? Origin do you stop Corbet? Pretty cool, dude. Turn turn me around on this whole paintings thing Okay Let's see here. Oh, oh, yeah, it's right. Just like a nice close-up on a pussy. Yeah, it's pretty good That's a good pain. It's good that a guy had that idea
Starting point is 00:34:44 Put it into practice and I like how you can see one of the tits you can see one tit I know I was I said that when I saw that is a favorite view of mine looking up Just like a free tit, you know, the main attraction is the pussy, but you get a little bit of tit. Yeah You know, you know, I don't want to that's a pussy eaters. I view I feel like Yeah, I went to the Apple store on Friday Can you still just because I feel like they don't let you just go to the Apple store yet to make an appointment for everything No, you can just go came. No, I don't think so. I think I tried to go. Yes. It's a pandemic
Starting point is 00:35:21 I was like, no, you can't do you can't you can't even buy a fucking you can't buy like a Like a like a cable. Yeah, what the fuck dude? I smashed my phone so bad that they That they made me buy a new phone even though I have Apple care plus Wow, they're bastards. You got cucked major way in a major way. Yeah, I know and And I was told to put on a mask and I said, I'm a fucking sovereign citizen Shit, I do not play by your rules. And yes, I will be putting on a mask. Sir Yeah, I'm not going to the Apple store dude fuck that Yeah, I went to the Apple store
Starting point is 00:36:03 So to meet his boyfriend. No Oh No, so it was the back We went to so homo and the Apple store you mean is the back of a mr Mango where you just like the guy's cock. It's a hack I was laughing the other day just I was in China town and it's like You know thinking about how that all the Chinese people in Chinatown don't know it's called Chinatown Like in their mind. But there are people are like, where do you live? And they're like, yeah in the financial district
Starting point is 00:36:32 Yeah, just regular New York. Yeah, I'm downtown. I'm down. I live down just downtown New York. Like Soho. Try Becca ish. Yeah. I guess little Italy. Yeah, a little I live in little little hell. Do you mean China? The play is at home who don't happen to be in the right is role neighbor Jason that used to be their own places but are now part of China. Have you been a San Gennaro yet this year? No, I used to go for my cousin's birthday. But yeah, which I guess is how long is it? Birthday is probably this week. I don't know a week or something. Didn't already happen. No, it goes on. It goes on for a minute. It's tomorrow is tomorrow is the solstice. So it's usually around. It's how you're fucking astrology. Oh, yeah,
Starting point is 00:37:20 they're very, they're very spiritual people. Why'd you say the solstice because that's just when San Gennaro is. Wow. It's kind of like Christmas. Yeah, gay sex. Yeah, we worship like the fucking Saturnalia, dude. They were out there sucking guys off. Tony Danza's down there. Cuomo's probably down there in a dress. Yeah. I'm trans now. Fuck me now. I'm sorry. I am a woman. My pronouns are she, her. You can't say I molested myself. The perfect defense, the art school guy defense. And then we got this. Now we got what? Kathy, Kathy Hochle. Yeah, Hochle. I was saying, what was Kathy? No chill. Yeah. And she's like, I have to say it, but this virus is being like, come on, Kathy, you gotta chill. Relax. You're
Starting point is 00:38:16 the governor. And the governor ain't got no chill. She out there saying the end. If there's any time to call something a it's this fucking virus is when you. You can say that as lieutenant governor. I'm not talking about black people. She even sound like that. I just imagine every woman in politics is just like horrifically mid, like terminally Midwest. She has an upstate style name. Kathy Hochle. Gosh, I feel like I got that. You know what? That's a rock. Maybe Rogers could play her in some. Oh, yeah. Remember when they called it cock chester? Really? My family moved here to have sex with Chinese rail workers. From where? From fucking Albany. We moved to Rochester to get fucked. Get our pussies fucked by
Starting point is 00:39:10 the Chinese. Wow, they give them pussies. They made a big fucking move. That's where Albany to Rochester. That's where Siers C.O.V.1 came from. Getting Chinese rail put. Getting railed by the rail workers. That's what they called it. Oh, wow. That's why they called it that. Yeah. So that's, it sounds like you come from real matriarchal family. There was only women in my family. And they all love Chinese coffee. We would get fucked by the Chinese and be reproduced. We're not actually genetically related. It's just other white ladies who love saying. We got no chill. No chill. No chill. And I love saying the end. I'm no chill Hochle and you better fucking believe I'm saying every one of these press
Starting point is 00:39:57 challenges. Y'all better buckle up. Shit. Y'all thought shit was sweet with Cuomo. You thought he had a job because he touched a couple of pussies. I'm dropping hard every single fucking day in his name. PowerPoint. How about we call him point? Slide. Number one. Bullet point. Number one. Bullet point. Number two. Oh, what's that? We got a third bullet point. You better believe it's the governor of New York has solved the Corona virus by calling it the end by calling it the end word. Yeah. That's awesome. What's Kathy look like? She looks like she got a good pussy. I mean, she probably looks like Kathy from the comics. Blacks. Blacks. Blacks. Blacks. I think she just looks like a regular
Starting point is 00:41:01 ass bitch. Yeah. She just looks like a politician type bitch. Let me take a look at this. Honestly, literally literally mean the Rogers could play her. She could get it, bro. Hochle. Yeah, whatever. Let's look up. I'm Bert Reynolds. I'm from fact Bert Reynolds. What are you up to, Bert? What are you doing? I'm fag. Are you in a movie called Smokey and I'm fucking suck. I'm smoking cocky in the band's penis. That's the kind of shit I do. My bookie dot com. Wow. Bet on that. No, dude. Adam. Kathy Hochle cannot get the prick. I'm just saying no Adam would sound cool. I would. I mean, I'd take her over a Marjorie Taylor green and you know, no, no, no, no. You would rather fuck Marjorie Taylor green. No, nobody wants
Starting point is 00:41:57 to fuck Marjorie Taylor, but over out of your fucking over Kathy. Literally. It looks like a normal. I literally have gay sex before I had before. Did you see her new commercial where she blows up a car? She does. Yeah. No, she's like she doesn't even have human genes. Yeah, dude, she's unfuckable. Yeah, I would rather fuck her than I'm taking the opposite stance. I would rather fuck you're gonna have to die on that hill buddy. Listen, she's just weird. Yeah, I can't even conceive of her skeleton. You're not you don't have a good enough to do. She looks like shit. What are you talking about? I'm one of the most fantastical imaginative. Well, use it. Use some of that whimsy to think about what
Starting point is 00:42:40 this bitch is going to bring. You can bet on who would you rather fuck at my bookie.com. You could bet on that. Yeah. What's going on in sports these days? You got you got Antonio Brown on the Raiders. What else? Do we have coffee? Didn't Marjorie Taylor Greene fuck some guy out of wedlock? Is that what we found? Is that her scandal? That's all she's done is she's had sex outside of marriage. No, no, no, like cheated on her husband is what I meant to say. I had a wedlock. I thought she thought she fucked like her crossfit instructor. Marjorie Taylor Greene openly cheated on husband with men at her gym. Men according to Daily Man. Come on, bro. You'd rather smash with this chick. Oh, she's a fucking freak. I'm
Starting point is 00:43:37 saying I'm just looking at a picture of her. I'm not saying she's hot. If I had to pick one, I would pick her because she's a fucking weird freak. Honestly, I could totally imagine what she would be like to have sex. She'd be so pissed. It's also she'd be so pissed at socialism. I don't know where she came from. Like I don't remember. She's probably just had a meltdown on Facebook live. Yeah, dude, look, it would just be something strange about her that I would rather fuck than Kathy Hochel. It's also mostly an age thing. Well, you think she's a anyway, do we have copy for my book? No, just fucking use your goddamn imagination.
Starting point is 00:44:16 The way I have my bookie.com. I'm going to imagine a website and this is called my bookie.age. Green has promoted numerous far right white supremacist and anti-submitted conspiracy theories, including the white genocide conspiracy theory, QAnon and pizza gate, which is pizza gets real as well as other disproving conspiracy theories such as false flag mass shootings, the Clinton body count and those related to 9 11. That is such a broad stroke. I know sneaking the guy out of that. And those there's nothing, nothing to be investigated about 9 11. No, the every there everything is a conspiracy. I don't know. It's just the same as white genocide. Yeah. Well, the NFL season is back and you can bet on anything anywhere anytime
Starting point is 00:45:10 at my bookie.age. That's all it's true. You could double your first NFL. I wonder if they're changing the name to the National Feelings League folks. NFL has gone woke and it's going broke. It's true. They have a fucking true if you want to let me ask you if you want to kneel at a game and disrespect the country that brought you the freedoms that make it possible for you as a black man to earn millions of dollars. That's right. Being a game that's a child. The game that's a pampered black man. That's supposed to be about respect and dignity and pulling up your pants. Then there's one place you can go and starts with AF and ends with Rika. And it's called my. And the word is my bookie.
Starting point is 00:45:56 You get a 100% sports welcome bonus. 150% casino bonus up to 750. People say people say they're like right wing radios like a grift or whatever, which is which is true. But it's like it's an admirable if I can keep it up. Like if I could just it's a great bit if I can check in every day on not only like every day at four a.m. but for five hours five hours fucked up on oxy just fucking out of your mind on saying nothing saying nothing and just be like spending pretending to be shocked about like McDonald's has gotten rid of honey mustard. And you thought when I said the Jews were you know yeah and people called me crazy. Yeah. And just like that's summoning those emotions every single day. You can tell
Starting point is 00:46:50 who's doing a bit and who's not. Because like some of those guys are not like all the fucks you guys are getting vaccinated. But they're like the local guys. Those motherfuckers keep dying because they keep getting COVID. Oh yeah. The small time you actually like believe all this shit. How many of them are there because it seems like it seems like a lot of the dozens at this point thinking that when I was younger and I would have to you know drive around and through the south or whatever with comedy and stuff. You would just go from market to market and it's like you're listening to fucking shit on 92 you know something. Yeah. The knife. Yeah. Like oh fuck no there's a communist socialist Obama
Starting point is 00:47:30 president wants to introduce black history month schools. So we bring blacks our history month to the fucking gun show. They're just saying this on the radio. Yeah. It's truly jarring if you're not like you know down there or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. And the FCC can't do anything about it. I don't think the FCC actually exists. I think you're probably going to bring a titty out. Let's see. Bring one honest to the like the FCC enforcing any kind of like standards and practice there. You know like whatever like you know broadcast standards. Yeah. In this day and age is fucking absurd. Oh yeah. I think we've you know I mean it's just another way for the government to rake in money but yeah they're still finding
Starting point is 00:48:19 like terrestrial radio people like two hundred thousand dollars. If you say like bitch fucking three P you know it's fucking weird people are starting to censor like now the Internet is getting censored. Is it. Like well not not just because of monetization where it's like like tiktok and shit everyone censors curse words like you can't sell ads on it. Two people are fucking Christian content. Like did you say aren't people sent like stealing our shit and censoring the curse words. Yeah. That shit's so fucking weird. Now the Internet is just like that's where you should used to be able to say whatever the fuck you wanted bro. I had the I had the Jews that run it do that for us. I don't know. It's weird because
Starting point is 00:49:04 I've been on the Internet a long time. Sure. You know more about it than me. That's true. And I like I don't you know I guess I've never been particularly like a cancel culture guy. I don't think like economic punishment should be doled out to anybody. Right. I think that's like right. But that's like a separate problem. But the like the Internet is I've been banned. I got banned from everything before anybody else. I'm banned from everything. Yeah. Like that's part of it. You do things to make them mad so they ban you. Right. Right. Right. You always find a way. Yeah. That's it's funny to do that. It is funny to do that. So you can with 100 percent sports welcome bonus and 150 percent casino bonus up to 750
Starting point is 00:49:49 you can bet with Bitcoin. You could bet on a boy. You could have live odds in game wagering and CAAF football. Nick's flipping me off right now. You know I do that every show. Yeah. You just never noticed why we did. We did a whole show one time where I had you like this. That's not true. I would have noticed. No. Just clock the whole time. How long. The entire show. That's not possible. It is possible. I'm one of the. No. You're really one of the. That's what people like. They like my sharp. You've never been in your fucking life. Notice is because it's up here by my midsection instead of down by my penis. If I put it down in my crotch are you like I your foot is before my. Yeah. I don't look
Starting point is 00:50:29 at your crotch. The second the fingers started to extrude. I'm telling. I'm telling. I've never looked at your crotch except for that one time we're peeing next to each other and it was if you want to hide something I started laughing and you said what are you laughing at and I said I thought I thought of I lied to you because I had my dick painted like a clown because I had to go to work because I had a job to do that afternoon. If you want to keep a secret from Adam you just put you just write on a post and put it near girls pussy. Right. Yeah. That's how you keep things. She had read you fucking cocks. They have a team of meticulously handpicked professionals with a refined skill set. They have a vision
Starting point is 00:51:17 to redefine the gaming scene by establishing it. My book is the world's leader so you can go on their website now you could bet on sports or you could play casino games. Okay. That's really cool. You don't have to go to Vegas. You could do it all from a tour browser. Anyway go to my book. A place called Las Vegas put on promo code come down or come down. I'm trying I'm trying to fulfill our fiduciary responsibility or whatever that were. Let me just say by the way it's not that I want to fuck Marjorie Taylor Green and stop once the fuck Marjorie said I would rather fuck on that. I feel like it looks like a pussy is made out of bones. Probably her jaw is too wide. She looks like a monkey. She looks
Starting point is 00:52:05 like a gibbon face. Yeah. Well she has like a sort of like a like a like a close like a recent ancestor kind of Neanderthal genetic fork. Yeah. That's true. Not Neanderthal necessarily because she doesn't have like the predominant brow. But it's it's the she's all she's got a predominant jaw. Yeah. And you can follow my book on social networks put in promo code come down or come down 20 upon sign up for a special bonus. The will be great. It will be great. And it's a great website. They have pictures of a lot of different flags of different countries on the bottom of the website so you know you can trust it. That's true. It's my bookie dot A.G. Let's start the show. My bookie dot A.G. Let's start the show.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Welcome to the fucking party. You fucking motherfucker. I got a little tickle in my throat. It's not covid. I got tested this morning. Yeah. Everybody welcome to the fucking party. Everybody was tickling dick a pussy was tickling a pussy was nice try in your throat. It's a long clip. You mean a penis. Do you mean a penis that you were sucking that you were throwing. I was throwing a pussy. Why do you have a neck tattoo that says the throat go throat go dude. Call me fucking super head Stevens. Why do you have a full neck tattoo that says the throat go because yeah. So I like to get my dick green. Green is like her background is she worked at CrossFit. And then in 2017 she wrote articles for a website
Starting point is 00:53:50 called American Truthseekers. And then now she's in Congress. That's awesome dude. You know and it's like it's that's so fucking sick. You know like conservatives like oh she was a bartender. Yeah. Or she's not actually from the Bronx. Okay. Well I mean in your stupid world that probably qualifies her more to be fucking Congress. Then she should be the president. But this lady is like yeah. She's like I mean it's like it's literally if I was a journalist I was in Congress. No I know just some dumb or qualify. Yeah. Yeah from thought catalog. From thought catalog. Yeah. Yeah. She wrote 27 articles for law enforcement today. 27. That's like I guarantee you there's maybe there's zero police officers
Starting point is 00:54:35 that read law. Right. Right. Right. It's Paul Blart and fucking Richard Jewel. That's who reads law enforcement today. Pretty good movie. Yeah. Well the movie's good. But the actual guy if you remember the movie. He's dead. It turns out he was a pedophile. He was. No. Whoa. Yeah. Actually that movie should be called cry fat. So it is. Is it. Yes. Did you finish your ad read. I finished. I think you call me a pig when stop. What the fuck. Why the fuck would you turn on me you motherfucker because I was deflecting stuff. I'm a I'm I'm any I'm I'm a pig really. I'm a survivor. At least this week he's deflecting instead of defecting. Defecating defecating. Thank you. No problem. You're welcome. I appreciate
Starting point is 00:55:29 the thank you anyway folks. I would like to see some of her articles. I wonder what some of the titles were. Yeah. One of her qualifications is she was a moderator of a Facebook group. That's what I said. Fucking shit. Our democracy is stronger than ever. It's pretty sick. Damn I'm fucking sleepy. I couldn't sleep. I had a cough that woke me up. Yeah. I never sleep before. I have to drink Nyquil to go to sleep from now on. I'm just prepared. I'm like I had sort of half awake constantly in a fugue state in a malaise man man a man a man a man a man. I had some bad manners recently that pissed me off. What kind. I don't remember. I just came in a little pack. What kind of man is what kind of man is what kind of man
Starting point is 00:56:31 is bad. It was out. Did you finish every finish. You just do it again for 10 more minutes. So there's a website called my bookie dot A. G. just got a brand website that's got a brand game. We got NFL season is back. The Baltimore Ravens just had a thrilling victory over the Kansas City Chiefs. Phenomenal phenomenal. The fucking Kansas City queeps more like it. You think they're requiring vaccines at Monster Jam. I hope not. That shit is fucking boring dude. What's Monster Jam. The monster truck shit. You know they're definitely not requiring it's all it's it's it's it sucks how boring monster truck shit is because you think it would be awesome. But actually being there is fucking it's fucking gay dude. Have you
Starting point is 00:57:17 been. I've never been. I've been the smaller events like not like the like the I mean actually I did go to Monster Jam at U.S. Arena in like 1993. But yeah with my grandma which is very funny grandma thing to do. Did you show you that's why he has phone sex with her now. Now my grandma is cool dude. That is a cool thing. I miss it's crazy because I miss my grandma a lot but she's not dead yet. She's just fucking gone. No idea. You're like you're dead to me whore. Yeah. I've stopped speaking. You're like you can you do you do nothing for me. So rot boring rot in your little fucking cell. They got a lot of new monster trucks now. Do they. How's the technology. Folks. I'm sorry. Is that the audience saying just
Starting point is 00:58:08 read all of it. Yeah. Yeah. Just kill time. Kill time. Kill time. Kill time. Kill time. It's my favorite show. We got Alien Invasion. You know what would be the really the next step for real. This is just start doing like 42 minute episodes. That's really when we start crossing the Rubicon. Five really taking the show. I've had reads 42 minutes. Under an hour. Yeah. Avenger Avenger. Oh like Marvel acts bad company. Okay. Here's this one's cool. Bad news travels fast. You got like racehorse names. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's showing pussy. The Bakugan dragonoid. That's awesome. I guess you're letting fucking you know those people. You're letting whoever in here. Black Pearl. So that's just stolen
Starting point is 00:59:08 from the Pirates of the Caribbean. That's cool. Black Stallion. Blue Thunder. Brodozer. Okay. Brutus. That one shaped like a dog. Devastator dragon. That was pretty cool. There's already a dragon. Earthshaker. El Toro Loco. That one's cool too. Crazy bull. Yeah. El Toro Loco Ice Fast Metal. Oh shit. El Toro Loco's evil fucking twin dude. We got Gas Monkey Garage. I kind of like that. Gravedigger. Classic. The Great Clips Mohawk Warriors. I guess great Clips. Oh they have sponsors though. Great Clips has its own monster drug now hooked. I got fucked up at a great Clips. Oh damn ice cream man. I love this. Oh that's awesome. That's almost better than Gravedigger. I like ice cream man. That would be my favorite.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Iron Outlaw. Gay. Iron Warrior. Gay. Jailbird. Slightly less gay. Jester. I kind of like it. It could be cool. It's gay. Is it like a Southern California Hispanic Jester? Craker and Megalodon. Megalodon's a good name. Monster Energy. Didn't even try it. It's not the Monster Energy something. It's just Monster Energy. It's a lot of these cars. So here's a dog with Monster Mutt and then they've got Monster Mutt Dalmatian. Nice dude. This is a Dalmatian monster Mutt Rodweiler. He got a lot of Monster Mutt. He got a lot of dog Brent. Nitro Menace. That's actually a good name. Northern Nightmare. I guess what? This is the Unionists coming in to violate states rights. I like that. This is painted like General Sherman. They're
Starting point is 01:00:55 like boo. Fuck that truck. Fuck that. Forgive us our slaves back. I was thinking the other day you know it's like does anyone make the case that like who really should be getting reparations is the family of slave owners. I think they lost their property. They did get reparations. Yeah. But they got shit. They they lost something. I mean they should be really did they north even try just being like look we'll just buy the slaves off you. I think they literally did pay those motherfuckers. Did they did they. I think so. That's how that work. That's how that would solve that now. If we still had slavery because the slaves would all be owned by like you know Jeff corporation. Yeah. Right. Like the taxpayers would have
Starting point is 01:01:39 to give. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Billions of dollars to slave owners to buy the slaves off 100 percent and then they would just bust the slaves into. Yeah. Like they would just work lower middle class white neighborhoods that cause like racial strife. That's crazy when you think about it. And then you up and you introduce cracking to those neighborhoods. I don't know if you introduced crack. What's the new thing now. There hasn't been a new I guess. Yeah but I don't think the obsessed. Yeah. Let's get back to it. It's like a it's a over conceptual over board and it's over B. O. R. E. D. I guess it's a normal tribute. So sad. Are you real sad about that. No. It's personal to you. You're a good friend. He was. Yeah. You're
Starting point is 01:02:32 ignoring everybody in the group chat until Norm MacDonald died. Then you have to prostrate yourself and I just said I was sad. Yeah. And you couldn't. Oh do you want to get lunch. No text back. Norm MacDonald. I'm the most sad about it. I didn't say I was the most sad. I was just. Oh. Pirate's Curse. Rage. Raminator. That's cool. Raising Kane Rockwell Red. Here we go. The Saigon shaker. That's pretty cool. But it's a Vietnam war themed pickup truck. Scooby Doo. That's this feels like a lot of these. Why did they make the mystery machine. A lot of these are copyright for this. Here we go. This is awesome. Soldier Fortune Black Ops. It's a valor stealing from the fucking it's got a gun. It's got a gun
Starting point is 01:03:26 on the top. That's so it's got a turret turret. That's pretty badass. They just drive around and they don't fucking destroy anything. That's what I mean. It's fucking gay. Yeah. It should be a demolition derby with monster trucks. They're too expensive. Dude, you can't. You can't destroy those beautiful machines. I would pay a thousand dollars to wash that. Wait. So they don't do jumps over here. Really. This is pretty fucking gay honestly. It's pretty boring. It's just like going over a bunch of little hills. By the way, the crowd is not fielding. He's bombing. Yeah. There's there's a hundred thousand people in this stadium. And they're but yeah, they're just like Soldier Fortune Black Ops is bombing doing
Starting point is 01:04:37 terribly. That's like a Tom Clancy got son of a digger. And it's okay. It's the sun. They have the trucks. The trucks have sex. Wolf's head. It's a wolf that sucks dick. That's awesome. Wonder Woman. It's like a Israeli truck. Yeah. Wrecking machine. Exterminator. That's an exterminator. An exterminator. That's awesome. Alligator that also exterminates. That's fucking sick as shit. Yeah. 2020 drivers, Buddy Tompkins, Roy Pridgen, Jr. Oh, no, sorry. Roy Pridgen and J. R. McNeil. That's who drives the. Look at this guy. I could have told you what this person is. I'm tired. Are you tired? Well, don't worry, buddy. We got more things to read. I love exterminator. I have to say that one really captured my imagination.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Cool. Our first competitor is one of the Monster Jam World Finals rookies, Sean Newhawn, driving a truck that the fans selected. There was a big contest at Monster Jam.com. What Monster Jam truck should we create? Is this guy doing real feral doing Harry Carey? And how is Sean Newhawn been being kind of just a perfect fit for this at the pit party? He'll put the makeup on. He takes pictures with the kids in his zombie role. When it gets down to this time, he really has delivered in this truck. Yeah. He's solid. He's consistent. He's a fast racer. He's got a lot of experience, but he doesn't have a lot of experience on a fast track like this, as well as a big track with obstacles, the size that they are here
Starting point is 01:06:26 at the advanced auto parts of World Finals. You know, it's a great learning experience for an up and comer like Sean Newhawn and zombie. And certainly no matter what he does here, he's off to a good start. This is just a launching pad for him in his career. And he, again, having this opportunity, he really relishes having a full time ride in zombie. Oh, we've seen this before. We always have the balloons in somewhere. Oh, look at this. First truck out of the box. That is sick. Great job. You come to the Monster Jam World Finals. Yeah. You got to do a lot of things. How do you win a big air in there somewhere and you have to do your cocksuck the most. And we've got a huge problem. Adam Friedland
Starting point is 01:07:10 is running out on the field trying to suck the truck's dick. That is one of the gayest men I've ever seen. He's got bad news here. Adams. Now his pants have fallen off and he's had diarrhea all over his own penis, which looks like a vagina. And he's bending over. What's he doing? He's bending over. The whole truck went into his ass. Oh, my God. I've never seen anything like that before. It's completely inside his ass. And driver Sean Dewan Rookie is running out of oxygen. He's suffocating, bro. He's calling his wife from inside out of the ass and saying goodbye. The emergency clown crew is extending a two minute Adam's ass. So Sean can breathe through it because he's drowning and coming in. There
Starting point is 01:08:09 is AIDS molecules the size of a capybara in there, folks. Oh, man. Years ago, we would have said, you know, we should do is we should do a live show from Monster Jam. And now I'm thinking we should start figuring to go with the stop the Stavros operandum, which is reducing the show to 42. Stavros operandum is right. I'm saying, dude, one day one day every six months, we come in here and we talk for 24 hours in a row. And at 45 minutes each time we stop the clock. And I'll tell you what, it'll still be better than 90% of podcasts. Exactly, dude. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's our guarantee. Maybe we should be putting
Starting point is 01:09:05 the same level of effort that Monster Jam does. Well, I think that it's probably hard to build those big trucks. What do you mean? I could do it. You get a regular truck and you put big wheels on it. How hard could that be? You need a cool name, too. You got to come up for the name. You got to rent a place to do it. You got to build the hills for the track. Yeah, we'd come out. We do pussy smasher would be my truck. We do 10 minutes and it's just the best bits we got. Yeah, and it's just that, you know, a fucking man. Who's that cat coming down? Okay, it's Steven Seagal. Okay, but it's even Steven Seagal. Okay. And fucking, all right, scratch that. Steven, Steven, Steven Seagal. No, okay, maybe it is even
Starting point is 01:10:05 Steven Seagal. Okay, but the even part is odd and even, because they like math. It's Chinese. And it's Chinese. Swish. Okay, next. Michael Douglas. Okay. And it's Michael Douglas. He doesn't have AIDS. But he wants it bad. But it's nothing I want more than AIDS. Put AIDS in my eyes. Put AIDS right in my eyes. I want to be Michael paused, paused up. I want to be Michael bugged. Michael bugged, bugged, bugged. Michael bugged, bugged. Tina gay from 30 cocks, 30, 30 cocks, 30 cocks. What about who's some new? What do we got? Billy Eilish. Billy, I wish her titties would fall out of her shirt. That's good during a show. That's awesome. You got a Robert Pattinson. Yeah, Robert Pattinson dicks over the
Starting point is 01:11:26 pants and he's broken. Let's go Chinese. Do a little bit more with the name. Let's give these folks a show. Let's give these folks a fucking show. Okay. So we need a Chinese person? Yeah. Or we're returning someone. And Green Knight just came out. Green Knight the movie. Is it a KNIG or a KNIGHT? It's KNIGG. No, no, no. That wouldn't really make sense. It wouldn't make sense. That was the alternate title of Black Knight. Yeah, that's true. Green Knight. Who's the guy in that dev something? Dev Patel. You're right. What's this guy named after? Software development? Yeah. Because he's Indian. He's an Indian guy. Yeah. British Indian guys. Yeah. So what the hell was Gandhi up to? Yeah, what the
Starting point is 01:12:30 hell? That's right. And that's the show.

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