The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 280 – bathroom blues

Episode Date: October 6, 2021

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let me tell you something you think you think you think you think what I got fuck there's a lot of the I hate it when I do this do it I forgot to hit record on the the phone input so so restart it now I'm too tired but there's not gonna be when I can be able to go to this the phone today that's okay man yeah I love first-time callers I love all hang up and listen guys we got that though and we got that folks it's folks it's motherfucking come it's come town going on six years now really yeah bright-eyed and bushy-tailed young men get together they start what some folks refer to as the fucking Rolling Stones a

podcast yeah and now like the Rolling Stones themselves they're gay they're gay yeah they've become gay there's Charlie Charlie chocolate factory yeah Charlie Hebdo Charlie Hebdo mm-hmm of course you say why don't you pronounce the H and that's because H stands for here comes a couple of Muslim guys into the building that's what it stands for yeah for here comes a couple of hajibs really hajibs looking to put some holes in your head with heavy machine gun that's what the H and Charlie Hebdo stands for that really was kind of the that was like the death of comedy I think mm-hmm when those Muslims couldn't

take a joke well that's the world saw what the world saw what happened at Charlie Hebdo and they said you know what these guys are right now we're going comedy that's fully respectful of all people yeah just to avert a crisis like this so we don't get God yeah that's what we don't get God the Ted lasso effect well cuz you imagine if Charlie Hebdo didn't happen here's what happened three years ago Shane Gillis gets SNL mm-hmm two weeks later Bo and Yang cuts his head off with a samurai so I don't think that's what happened personally I'm telling you because we'd learned our lesson I

really don't see that eyes and being like hi on Shane's head like hey you come on off it is just rolling down there yeah rolling down the stairs yeah yeah yeah all the way back to the cheese factory that fucking retard crawled out yeah I think probably he wouldn't have been killed yeah but I don't know Shane yeah yeah but he would have been martyred and we would have all remembered it doesn't seem like a murderer to me Shane we would have all learned an important lesson mm-hmm that's true yeah Shane would have if he would have been killed we would have learned an important I think that's true about

a martyr Lawrence and fucking credit Charlie Hebdo does the cartoon he's like oh hell nah and then he blows himself yeah I'm gonna get my vest I'm gonna blow myself how many of those French motherfuckers did they get they did a shooting yeah we had that seems like it was 40 years ago and they they made they drew they basically drew Muhammad and he had a big dick nose those guys everything they did had a big dick nose yeah well that's just how French cartoons look oh the way they draw women too because the French women are disgusting so they have those like their bodies or they have horrible posture and

like they're mostly foopa mm-hmm and then like makes like big mischokes on dick tits and then that kind of like frog head you know I'm talking about then like yeah French salad bitch yeah were they kind of and then they walk and they're like they just sort of flop you know I mean yeah Cruella except with a food Cruella but with big fat fucked up Cruella foopaville oh that sounds horrible mm-hmm that's not the type of lady I'd want to have sex with yeah I saw a lot of ugly ladies this weekend in Nashville Tennessee oh yeah yeah Gashville nasty Gashville that's the it is quite possibly the fat girl

destination of America go to Dollywood no that's that's apparently very far far away me and Adam are on the phone doing a little bit about Dollywood oh yeah that was pretty good it's a guy an Italian guy trying to remember the name of Bollywood yeah really and he's like what are they the dad heads they got the whole Hollywood it's called Dollywood Dollywood why would it be called that it's done in Hollywood is Dollywood right there the first day and first result is called Dollywood yeah but this there's no Indian people yeah come on what are you doing clicking on stuff they got this in Nashville they have

these like tractors that pull fat women around no they like get drunk in like the wagon and listen to like a little John get low imagine disgustingly people say the South is back yeah imagine that's what you have is women as a hog being the drug dragged through mud by a truck blasting a little John and then people are like well these these we need to have respect for these women yeah that's sure you'd be like well what in the darn what in turn what in the world and say what in good fuck ass shit is this and you would say no you would say no yeah you say no those are the fuck hogs

that we pull around on a wagon yeah and on top of that to test the to test how mighty the test the track there can be my family didn't even own slaves you know we moved here from New Jersey when I was in fifth grade right so not my problem not my damn problem Mike I was telling Mike I wanted to rent one of those tractors and just have the two of us silently looking at our phones while we have them play Patrice O'Neill destroys feminism yeah hell yeah yeah teach that's what you should do for your bachelor party that's what I should do just me and my cuisine on a wagon on a wagon in Nashville people love people yeah it's

it's honestly I didn't realize it but it's it is it's like if you want to go to New Orleans but you don't want as many jazz style people around this is funny so I'm you know it's like a no black people New Orleans I'm looking at my calendar to see what the reeds are and October 11th is listed as Columbus Day and indigenous people's day Google Calendar can't once in both ways yeah it's like to pick a side chief yeah you're either with us or you're against us trying to play it trying to play it you know whatever the word is what so you had a nice time in Nashville Adam show show me hole just a game we play what

I want to say is let me blow you what else is soft you watch many Saints of Newark oh yes I did but I I've seemed to recall on the last premium episode you had some revelations while you were in Nashville was that oh I don't want to re-litigate that oh my god is this classic Adam or what you know what it's spastic he says some bullshit classic he says some bullshit at the end of the fucking premium episode I'm just gonna say we promise everyone we're gonna re-litigate it in kind okay let's litigate it and listen I know that my opinions are fully formed by a popular a popular opinion you know I always fully

formed faggots yeah the fully I really like start a music project called they might be faggots I never had to suck on wood that is a good name they might be faggots oh that's a mighty mighty boss you think a mighty faggots those are both good name yeah I'm just gonna say a couple people walked up to me imagine faggots mm-hmm yeah that's another really good one that my brain doesn't even go there the faggots of Leon yeah are we gonna that's cool because it sounds like a guy named Leon has a lot of twinks around me that's the fuck the back harem street faggots yeah that was well that that was basically yeah what was the

guy's name the big fat guy Lou Pearlman in sync but it's a faggots they tell you what the end stands okay yeah okay yeah like an in sync album the first in sync album yeah and then the cover is like a black guy right and he's standing there kind of like you know like arms the Kimbo with his legs out and there's like a lightning cable going into his like groin area and then that one's hooked up to a like a PC on the screen of the PC it says sinking they're like what is the album art and they're like we gave it to this guy with a podcast and said you know just do a letter whatever you come up with yeah and that's what he

came that's what he went with I would love to charge my balls yeah I would be cool what is sinking what is the oh I see I see yeah see I I'm I try and block out the racism and just think about how cool will be to charge your cock yeah yeah think about that but you couldn't even have to hump your dick would go back and forth why don't you finally have an excuse with a little piston when a but when a bitch to horny you could be like listen I'm on 1% 1% or listen bitch is the Kings of Leon's mom died mm-hmm which I didn't realize well they were all brothers I guess they all had one mom wow they shared a mom there's a

funny way to word that yeah mom for the mother of the Kings of Leon the kingdom of Leon the weeps yeah as its queen mother fucking died the Mumford and sons were the guy the Mumford guy was all was their father that's true yeah he's the older dad and they all they all have to call him dad daddy daddy what's the next song that bass I look like I can do one of the words you like fucking ass my sweet car it's crazy how popular that shit that was a real genre for a while yeah a lot of war music green huh stomping on yeah yeah like fucking yeah what people that made all those breweries with Edison bulbs everywhere

they needed something yeah American folk music is fake it doesn't exist really yeah it was a thing that they just created in the 60s yeah Jews started pretending you might know what he meant about start pretending well they just stole it they didn't come up with it they created it it's like it's like I'm belong to like all the Disney movies you know like the 101 Dalmatians and you're beating the beast and stuff that's all just fucking made up yeah I don't have that shit it's just fucking drawings and I'm real people that is so true the jungle book is real though yeah yeah that's true I wish man the biggest regret

in my life there's just like spiritual search inside my own memory and head I've been like wandering around in like that matrix like a loading area forever trying to remember the context and details of the story in which I heard in my life where a manager at like a Papa Johns was fired for calling an Indian kid Mowgli who told me the story hmm or how it went down but that is that remains one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life that is an awesome is it boss repeatedly calling an Indian teenager that works there Mowgli you know but you say that yeah in 2006 or five or whatever I was I 100% could see

that happening of course yeah without even with no question that being shocked when it's like you know the kid has like a fucking a hundred million dollar loss yeah yeah being like what it was a fun nickname yeah that we have fun in the office and you know where else we'll be having fun is in Cleveland Ohio this weekend folks where I will be at hilarities from the seventh to the ninth and also Phoenix Arizona I'll be at the house of comedy in Phoenix the 14th to 16th and I'll be in Madison the 21st through the 23rd I also Madison there also be a pantheon in New York City on October 13th with Norrie

Davis Joe Firestone Dan Lakata Dina Hashem and I think I'm gonna do a show as part of the New York comedy festival Dan chocolate Dan Lakata Dan chocolate were the other ones Joe Firestone and Norrie but it's like the Lucy Davis who else is on Dina Hashem Dina Hash Browns Dina Hash Browns yeah who else Joe Firestone Joe Firestone Joe Joe hot cup of Joe cup of Joe that's not really a fat thing with chocolate what about Joe fire Joe Joe fire what's the pizza yeah you're saying bridge oh break oven pizza fire pizza woodfire stone Joe woodfire stone Joe break oven pizza break oven pizza go from fire stone to

break oven pizza as flantheon flantheon will be on October 13th before I leave for Phoenix I'm a fucking little busy slut for you fuckers I have to I have to I do that show and then I get on a 7 a.m. flight to Phoenix was on the flights to Phoenix were dog shit hardest working man show biz I'm the fucking James Brown of comedy that's right you have a lot of sucked it's bad and then I bust nuts that's me that's he's one of the best but can I beat off while I was like on your tears but not so my dick's been working kind of nice recently ladies so I think I've only you're on a good streak let me think not me the last

10 sexual encounters think I've only had one problem with my cock wow it's like one of those like yeah yeah I have a fucking dry erase board I take with me to every hotel yeah yeah don't count your wins just get ready for the next hour dry erase board is how you describe the woman during and after sex with Stavros there's commas in between those dry what about a race doesn't even make sense I'll give you dry and bored a race she's a she's a race well what if she's mixed race and then she'd be at least a mixed race you have never earned a mixed-race pussy I've got mixed-race pussy before they never earned it yes I

have taken it but I've never I've not taken any pussy thank you very much I earned it yes I'm not on my Cosby shit I don't take pussy yeah I get pussy thank you very much right you're like Bill Cosby if he raped the Jellos commercials about when you know what there's nothing wrong with raping Jellos thank you very much he's stealing a bunch of jelly there's another one with putting your dick in pudding pudding kid is an inanimate object they're calling him reverse Bill Cosby fat man who's white making commercials about women and secretly stealing jelly are they calling them yes they like just for women I

guess you know it's a commercial for pussy it's pretty cool David Scorpion channel 40 put that pussy to sleep put that pussy to sleep I'm selling yeah I'm selling a Spanish fly no what I'll be selling is laughs at Cleveland Phoenix Madison wow and I think on the 10th I think you're just gonna use the podcast to promote your shows yeah that's the whole reason we started this podcast six years ago maybe we should have a fight about it maybe we should have a big on-air spat for 43 minutes maybe how dare you how dare you promote shows when you know I'm too lazy to book it you want me to go talk to him

dude no it's not worth you want me to go fucking crack some heads no they're a bunch of I mean they got their own problems yeah what do you mean they got a lot of living Albany that company's not doing well it's an Albany know how much money I make I can't be like where's the fucking $14,000 you owe me guess you can that's a lot of money yeah but I feel bad for them they miss Cuomo yeah Albany is really sad no I'm telling you this they got hotel over there just Cuomo you think it's a severe looking woman I think she looks like a regular bitch no she looks like someone she looks like a scary aunt she

looks like one of the James and the giant peach ounces oh yeah yeah she does seriously she's got fucked up eyes mm-hmm they're scaring me I'm peering into them and she has big teeth yeah but she probably probably probably I feel like we did this actually I feel like I looked up young Kathy Hochul you know you really decided whether or not we'd fuck the governor of New York you you often over over the I feel like you give too much credit to some of the special stuff we've done in the past no the older women now you put too many in the yes category by virtue of them earning something by being old and I well they might be

experienced Hochul might have sucked good dick from back it's you might have you know you know how by that logic you should be having sex with old man as well okay here's what I'm saying remember you know how when because of global warming yeah ice melts and like new diseases we don't have any fucking antibodies for get you know released into the air well what if you fuck an old bitch and it's like that and dick-sucking techniques from that we've lost to have been lost to history for generations you unleash them that way is that you guys ever fucking considered that you're saying it's frozen in her

mouth yeah her mouth you're unlocking it with my fat little nuts yeah what if what if you release a virus that's been in her mouth and STD that's been out of commission for 50 years well that's you can't fuck with nature stop dude that's the other side of the sword you can't fuck with nature that's the flip side of the sword that's the other side of the sword yeah you can't fuck with the balance of nature sometimes you have to though yeah that's true take really you know there's no you can't get reward without a risk that's true so maybe I get my nuts sucked in a way that we haven't known about fucking eons but maybe I

let go super chlamydia from the fucking for you know 1940s before fucking before we had penicillin I tell you doc my dick's about to fall off my shit is burning doc doc I got sores all over my penis you think it's cuz I fucked a Chinese lady doc I think it's from all that offshore pussy I was getting back in the Navy listen doc I've got bad news I've made my dick sore from rape oh he's a colasperin I've had well here's the ten pills of heroin some child pornography government issue child pornography make sure you don't smoke

any marijuana have gay sex if you do have gay sex you have to do it with a wink and then you're allowed to job in the entertainment we still have a place for you but you have to be coli about it that's the funniest part about homophobia is that it was like really it was sort of this you know because it's like at no point in history where they're like well it's not that there's not gonna be gay people right like no one ever believed that we can get down to zero like no one ever thought well of course yeah we got retards we got people with you know that limp everywhere so you're gonna have a couple

homos intellectually it's not a choice but you have to hate somebody yeah we don't have vaccines yet so why not why not these guys and it's a but as long as thing you to be entertaining and funny yeah and they have themselves a little secret like 1910 you could make like a children's movie that's like boy I'd love to suck on a man's something singing and dancing and sucking the a little bit of cream another guy has to pretend like you know like no that guy's just happy he's just a song and dance man him and his friends hate they just don't want to be

tied down by women I could never find a girl for me unless you had a fucking CEO see whoops okay yeah yeah I got hello that kind of shit you'll go straight to hello everybody yeah I know the audience is begging for a cock commercial break yeah a little respite from all this riffing yeah we've done too much riffing here oh blue chew folks and I'll say this you know why am I why am I batting nine out of ten on my last sexual encounters it's cuz on the days that I know my dick is lacking I let science take over it's true I trust the science I trust that I've actually been taking a new product they offer called

mooch you what is it that if you're if you're somebody that happens to have four stomachs oh okay well I have one it's sort of a bovine what do they have it a salat of Phil or the Donna Phil is your beef jerky to get your dick hard yeah it's little Donna Phil or Trinidad on a full Chinaza Phil I'm about to fucking fill up a bitch named La Donna yeah dick a little Bella Donna Bella Donna wasn't that that buck tooth lady that got ball bats put up her ass she she used to go hard in the she really did did she down I don't know she Bella Donna was her hero she's awesome the porn star the porn so I got my dicks like by a girl

who said Christie Mack was her hero yeah well and I will say she was good it's like that's the tattoo bitch she had like half a shaved head she's hot Christie Mac's very hot we don't have dumb heroes yeah have heroes like Abraham Lincoln or party and Nick Nick loves Abraham Lincoln because he got his thighs fucked by his friends what I think you're thinking of Socrates no I'm not enough Abraham Lincoln got his thighs fucked by his friend in his little log cabinet no you're thinking he was gay as hell if you were guys we were gay but for and we that made no bones about it thank you very much you fucking you're

fucking you're gay for kids like you made no bones about the women you've been seeing either yes I did and that's thanks in large part to our friends blue chew with the same active ingredients as Viagra and see Alice to Dallas Phil Sudeneville and you know what I used to be an active ingredients and see Alice guy now you're Viagra switched over Viagra just a little spice of life well but that's that's just for the just for the fuck but not for like the 36 hours right they each have separate yeah and I think maybe that has a lot to do with not having a girlfriend where now it's like you know I know I'm

gonna fuck it's like well why don't I pop a little blue or I'm sorry the move don't I have a little chewable tap why don't I have the move is from blue chew you invite somebody over you take the blue chew and then when they buzz your apartment is a boot you'd like talking like who is it they're like it's the girl from Club Penguin no from DMS from DMS with kids no from DMS stop it's McKenzie from Nickelodeon doc how it isn't from the kid I am it's not at all group chat it's not that from fuck it wouldn't kids even play anymore we traded Nintendo switch clothes codes on cooking mama no we didn't I don't know who you

are from animal crossing yeah no yes by the way animal crossing is all like gay adults it's not even children I don't think yeah it's Minecraft for the kids I don't know dude I'll just play Zelda I play stuff for grown-ups yeah I play backgammon on my I finished a brother the wild and I had no idea I got caught into the making clothes trap again with any game any game will trick me into thinking it's going to be a very long game the second there's a clothes making option tailor of Panama was link dressed in you know everything I had to had to make every type of clothes that you could make and have the fair all the

great fairies in hands all of the clothing which required a lot of finding lizards and different kinds of mushrooms the great fairies yeah you were in the game you and Adam you're not looking at me great fairies oh I'm gonna get a little I have a little I'm holding a little mirror you're not at all yes you're not holding a mirror it would be very funny tiny fairy wings real quick we got a powerful enough we got to talk about you know what I don't have to deal with another email just telling me that the promo code was not read in fact it was read they just didn't they the person they just stop listening and

probably seven minutes after the ad started right thinking they must have moved on because you say that I'm going to see if there's a way I can sue my employer for making me listen to this because this was not I did not that this is a form of sexual harassment make me listen to this dog shit to get that fucking to hear the promo code I know it's so fucking girl that was being advertising listening to this to make sure we're doing it she majored in advertising at Wisconsin look across the board yet is it's girls that have to listen to these ads what if it turns out I've been saying look across the board

the entire time that'd be pretty cool thinking that was the expression I wouldn't be surprised you're stupid I coming from lacrosse he just thought the word across was lacrosse come down 20 or whatever bluetooth.com slash come and listen we love getting our dicks hard around open that fucking drawer and pull the copy yeah absolutely part of your job this I'm sorry I forgot again you wanted to get salty I didn't get we haven't even gotten into it breakfast sandwich we haven't even gotten into listen the people are tired of the breakfast sandwich thing I don't I mean you know

does that mean we shouldn't stretch it out into a third week you know yes it used to be we get the fall and I'd be like it would be nice to have a girlfriend just for the fall and now I think you'd be nice to have a drug problem for the next five years just get in here get cozyed up I found a maybe I could get a tooth extracted if if any of the fans have any idea how to give yourself like a cavity or an abscess or something just eat chocolate some way something I could inject into myself that I could get a prescription or maybe if I there's a way to shout on my kneecap they don't give you prescriptions anymore because

the opioid crisis unless you find a cool dog you can get your wisdom teeth out and I'll just give you time I had a fat doctor named Alfredo that would give out pills like they were nothing yeah sounds cool he's like first of all I'm glad you came to me because I'm in a family straight up when I walked in he was like he tried to convince me to get gastric bypass surgery and I was like I'm here because my shoulder hurts he's like it's kids because you're carrying your stomach but real quick here's a special deal for our listeners if you try bluetooth free when you use our promo code come down and check out you just pay $5 shipping

promo code come down to receive your first month free and we thank bluetooth for sponsoring this podcast thank you madam and let's talk a little bit you know you kind of you know you didn't say any of the good parts of the fucking product the process is simple I say the good parts and you go to bluetooth you can sell with one of their life three minutes worth of the good you can sell with one of their licensed medical providers and once you're approved you'll receive your prescription within days that's awesome in discrete packaging and it's all done online you don't like swallowing pills you can chew them what

else do not oh yeah we can't say any of that I think we hit it all and I just want to say your dick really does get hard your dick does get hard it does it doesn't make up for other shortcomings it won't make it physical or person personality but for yep but your dick certainly gets hard and the and the chewables will be will be made in the United States absolutely these colors don't fucking run this dick is getting your dick is getting hard thanks to the good fucking the chewable tablets that go into your mouth and down into your dick American hands crafted those American hands and all of their the

people at the factory have papers absolutely I went through I went through all of their employment files and they are all legal and fucking horny they're all horny imagine and they're all hot chicks you're gonna get a lot they're all girls they're all girls shopping wet that are just want you to get hard for them begging you to get hard please please fuck me please I wanted I just want more guys to be hard I want your car that's the shit they're saying in there please get your dick hard please and there's one there's one gay is panic there's one guy doing a police Navidad and that they have a fun work

environment too oh my god their office culture is the best they have happy hours we have a good environment because the company is worker owned that's right I learned that from my socialistas as podcast they have very agreeable maternity leave and that's good because all those fishes are getting fucked they're getting fucked and they're getting cummed in yeah they're constantly getting busted are fucking overflowing with just in case you're just joining us now this is the blue shoe factory we're at the factory all the workers are girls with sopping wet pussies that are filled to the brim with

goo and you can order you can win a tour of the factory hosted by Willie Willie really heart Willie and guess what it's like one of those factories where they you see my dick hard and they make them all work naked because they don't want them stealing any of the blue cheese like just like in blow or one of those drug movies where they make the bitches naked with Wesley Snipes no no no the original money train no man we're good for a crackhead impact new jacks New Jack City nude nude new to Jack City black city new black city new new but that I could not live there that's right Buster how about needs to shame it's

about Jackie Chan but that was the last yeah that was last yeah I got no I'm not paying attention so anyway go to bluetooth.com use promo code come down and after that five dollar free order just five dollar shipping as well as fuck all the hot girls sitting down at your personal computer we can head on over to come dot town perfect time to boost Hollywood say a holiday sales by mentioning if you want to cuz they're like I tell you they're gonna fuck up and they're not gonna they're not gonna have your shit to you on time if you want it for the holidays you need to get in early you need to you need to place

those orders now I guarantee you if it gets to mid-October you ain't getting that shit till fucking March go to and listen go to stavi.biz for merch they'll get there sooner get a weed prano shirt for your stepdad see if he's cool come dot town just pay whatever class shipping I don't know what the fuck shipping is but go now you want the holiday shit you gotta fucking shoot from the pussy yourself you gotta shoot from the pussy you gotta shoot straight like it's a fucking ping pong ball mm-hmm like you're back in Hanoi I want a bunch of little miniature blueberry muffins sounds awesome

mm-hmm like it yeah you want them or you want I want them I thought you want an awesome I also want to participate in a cake walk which I haven't done since which was the only thing I ever want in my entire I know it's incredible what's a cake walk it's a thing everyone wins you know everyone wins they say it's a cake walk you know that expression comes up and as a kid I want a cake and I was like really yeah I was like this is a I feel I've never heard about a cake so they have like all the moms make a baked good right and then you get in a circle right walk around they stop around they stop yet stop on a number and then you

get the corresponding baked good so fucking it's the coolest thing in the entire world how the fuck if I never went on a cake walk well your family was too poor and you couldn't walk I could walk I was a great athlete as a youth more more more care not so much walk listen nine-year-old nine-year-old both of your asses and sports judge judges and it's not even close the judge is looking at the at the cake walk like we can't see his legs moving it's just a ball you know sort of rolling I had powerful legs as a youth no I really did you're under I was a I was a young soccer star yeah no I just happened be

obese didn't happen it did happen mm-hmm you were the ball okay I remember one time though this is not the one time though you were like me and eldest like we were the same we were the same height growing up and then he just got tall and I didn't and then you showed a picture of you and eldest his kids and he's clearly way no no yeah he was I did that was fifth grade and it already started but we were the big kids you he was you were top row you were thank you Adam I was just being fair I've been the same I've been the same height since fucking seventh grade we're both there's nothing I could do about it I stopped growing and

fucking eighth grade mm-hmm eldest is bitch ass fucking said it already started fifth grade well the separation elementary school picture we're talking we're talking kids on a carpet with their legs crossed mm-hmm I was top row and you both know it I spent a girl wearing her best sweater I was top row that kind of style yes that is what it was yeah but we were the tallest kids in class growing up yeah and that cocksucker kept growing and I stayed right here where I'm at you slowed down and I'm still pissed off at God for that and I can suck my fucking now eldest is one of those tall hot guys handed

everything just one of those jocks it doesn't even have to open his mouth he just gets these coordinated people I've ever met he's just such a fumbly guy but yeah I guess the Lord said you know what I have I'm too strong I'm too compact I'm a compact I'm rich you know I'm like a fucking a lint chocolate when those little lint chocolate balls yeah that reminds me of Christmas time I eat the lint 100% dark chocolate yeah and they come in a special gold foil and there's a tasting guide inside of the fucking box 100% 100% dude there's no sugar whatsoever in that bitch it's like eating a little piece of sounds like shit

that's great because I like at 87% no I smoke I smoke a cigarette and I have my dark chocolate and I pretend I'm interrogating a French fan where the Jews where did you hide them where did you hide them I just say you know what I'm here for we all know what I'm here I'm not even gonna ask any questions I'm gonna eat this bar of chocolate and I don't need to tell you what happens when I finish it if I don't have what I want and then I slowly break off a piece and I eat it and I smoke my cigarette and you're like mmm delicious and you shoot you shoot around into the attic I don't speak this language I don't even speak

German I'm here volunteer I'm here I'm here up in Baker Field California I'm here on an internship it's 2013 yeah it's not even the Holocaust just a young girl from North Jersey getting an internship with the Nazi party yeah there's our uncle doing social media yeah yeah hey just asking you're not hiding any Jews in the basement are you oh my god we are your own people how can you do this to us I don't know I can ask I'm just like really trying to I'm trying to get a good job I'm trying to get a job at Israel I'm trying to I'm trying to work at the condating that condom condom nasty condom nasty condom

gash condom gash that's good stuff well dry coughed it's sponsored by Ridge Wallet yeah Ridge Wallet our favorite sponsor we love those fuckers we're we literally use all their products it's a product we use I use the backpack all the time because I go play I use the back it would be nice if I had a bigger one I use the backpack to you know what I go on the road a lot it'd be nice if I had a fucking what the fuck are those commuter no the duffel bag you know you know how hard it is not only you got to pack your clothes but bring a full-size refrigerator with you never I would I have to do that shipped on the plane

which is the same plane from the movie operation I couldn't even use a I could use a fucking duffel bag and it's the it's the night of the big show and we're here at the LZ outside of Hilarity's comedy club and there comes Stavros with his refrigerator in tow parachuting down you think I'd spare you directly into the club is gracefully down into the big field outside of Cleveland where he'll be brought by earth movers to his why wouldn't I use the airport and all the outdoor pool the big emptied out we've the local seaworld has emptied out the pool and they put hamster hamster cage shit all over the bottom and the and the

local children have come to welcome him and wave him on as it lands at all what happened you guys are fucking a lot and the most important part is that he brings a refrigerator with you guys are fucking like a ridge wallet why don't you give us a review of the duffel bag that you stop is the fridge wallet the duffel bag I gave away to a guy dying with AIDS who emailed it's definitely here no it's not it's definitely in this fucking I can't wait till all the fans die of AIDS our story father some some team Daniel and Paul Cain launched their ridge wall wobble wobble on cake wobble kick starber in 2013 that's how you say that right and now sits in the fromage pocket of a

million over a million men and women world wide it's a pretty good story the two have since rec crew quite required it as small close can it can it team to exit well Paul and Chris if you're listening give me a fucking duffel bag because I'll put it to use and send me one of the knives fuck you next fuck you Adam why you got a big backpack I've been using it dude I took that that backpack's been to France their vision of create create 18 anyway they got phone cases wallets backpacks knives and power stuff power straps give it up for Don and Tom Paulus the good guys

Daniel and Paul Cain sorry they're good guys man the Paulus brothers who created the wallet and back in 20 to 9 it looks like they're kind of those van life kind of people from this based on this picture yeah van life it's sort of a Gabby to Tito yeah kind of a Brian's Brian singer situation today they didn't they didn't get laundry yet they're never gonna find them they're never gonna find laundry no oh shit that guy's still out and about no he I guarantee you on him somewhere in Bushwick right now yeah with a mixed race kid with that mop haircut yeah he's literally on Tinder going the age on

tender he's going to Maria Hernandez Park every day he's hiding in plain sight they hit on girls dress like fucking nightmare before Christmas nerds now we were all born in 2001 and I'm staring out my blinds in a wheelchair master be fucking calling the police I'm about to come I'm about to come there's children fucking more than I did ever to do now and it's pissing me off good thing I have my Ridgewall you don't understand me company listen detective I'm a I'm an old man who's wasted his fucking life and everybody hates me and all I can do is jack off and I want you to arrest those kids for getting more

pussy than me but sir it's me the police what if we send you a Ridgewall yeah or any of their line or a lot of you send me a bitch yeah what if we put a Ridgewall in her pussy I guess I'll have to accept that okay great this is Jimmy Stewart in that movie it's not isn't it is in rear window rear window I know I thought it was Gregory Peck for a second you wanted Gregory Peck now there's a guy I got a lot of fucking pussy not me I was in World War two and everyone thinks I'm a fucking loser they got a Gregory Peck in my ass they got a titanium wall they got an aluminum they have a gold wall they got the carbon

fire looks like the gold has been discontinued they have 18 carat it looks like it's right here where I don't see it it's under their best sellers not only is it not discontinued a lot of fucking losers have that one yeah they got a tiki wallet with a Hawaiian shit on it they got all types of stuff guys these wallets they protect against hackers scanning your credit cards which happens to me on a daily basis personally what else that's I mean what's the what's the deal that they got Nick the deal I don't think they even have a deal we just promote their products okay there's a deal I don't think there's a deal well

fuck around check it out add the type calm down cut type come down try them out here check out let's see let's check out express check out code or gift card let's check there's a goat there's gotta be a goat there's a goat yeah put in a fucking sleepy Jim good oh yeah no hold on I get something off here it looks so come town says hospital employees medical providers that looks like it got me $12.50 off that's pretty good that's free fucking money right that's free money put in your pocket a lot of folks say $12.50 can't buy a lot these days but with 10 10 to 20 that'll get you a fucking 20 minute 20 that'll get

you a 20 minute long-distance phone call okay Bobby boy boo boo biano you want to make a judgey okay you want to call up the fucking salt in a Brunei and tell him that in 1211 his letter to salt amendment through 14 was fucking explicitly homosexual gayer than when Catherine the great sacked bullshit yeah even doing even doing it's so funny how much how much people fucking every commercial was for ways to make long-distance calls yeah they have Seth Green talking about CALL ATT I remember using 10 10 to 20 I was heavy on the 10 10 to 20 I remember I remember placing a collect call and my

mom getting mad at me about it you can just deny the call no it's funny because there is that that commercial with Bob we had a baby eats a boy yeah that was a good commercial just tell you how to fucking game the system well that's what I did with my mom I would when I want like hey pick me up exactly pick me up from Greek school yeah even though it was a three-block walk with my parents which Greek school that's just being molested yeah you go in a guy who took a structured little ass dick yeah yeah well it's like you know you you get molested and then you learn how to molest right that's fifth grade and that's

sixth grade once you get confirmed you should be the little Caesars guy for Halloween this year stuff pizza pizza penis penis there's not much of the costume there's a spear come down to spear with pieces yeah and you got the the the the what is that like olive leaf what are the Greek people were yeah yeah one of those Olympics ships the Reese whatever that shit is you wear that and then come town is a promo code that's awesome all right check them out come out I really do I use it's a great product it is the Ridgewall fucking they're great and I have nothing against them let me put that out there but if

they want to send us more free shit not us if they want to write some historical wrongs the guy was a little back I understand that I'm not getting an extra so there's three backpacks that we got said yours is missing a pocket therefore you get extra stuff to put you ahead of the rest of us rather than no no no what happened was we played rock paper scissors and stuff lost I lose like a gentleman I am getting fucked here he's had to okay I'm getting fucked in a major way and I think it's only fair that the guy who's getting fucked backpack wise mm-hmm gets an extra bag no what what wrong needs

to be corrected as we need to go back all the way to 1993 and get your little fat ass in a fucking cakewalk that would be awesome maybe you would have found what you've been trying to find your whole life on your shoulder that you've been nipping at like a fucking crumb I would have loved you and the thing is there is no child in the world in the history of the world that would have appreciated a cakewalk with me it would have changed your that's what I would have done fuck you would have been I want to do this I want to go to a cakewalk so bad I won't pay sure we'll find you a cake walk you got to join a church you

should have written a try to submit an article to Ceylon during the pandemic about how you never got a cakewalk to kid the picture of yourself and now you know you probably never will because of corona that's just a picture of you looking serious with your hair all shitty come to the side like I'm there's a very good chance how you lose the use of my legs during the pandemic during quarantine lockdown which I did for a period last summer that's right I had my own personal corona people forget that that stuff was literally wheelchair bound for like that was your first one yeah yeah it was pretty cool wearing

wearing a swimsuit that was my first bout of wanting to kill myself in quite some time that was it that was a very interesting time I remember just going into your bedroom and then just all of us just doing different pills that you had in like a miscellaneous pill jar we're like I was really fucked up yeah that was maybe the worst three months of my life damn I'm trying to remember the worst three months of my life yeah a lot of it I guess yeah anyway so stop we both watched the many saints of Newark we'll get to that what happened what revelations you have in Nashville Adam oh well listen of course many the many

paints of that I was gonna bring this up last time you said it yeah I don't know where to go from there I think of the many paints of the colors of the wind okay no that's definitely not it so what happened in Nashville well just a lot of people approached me and they said that I was right about the breakfast what is there what is there even to be right about mm-hmm what the fuck is there even to be right about they said they said that you're being you know what I generous by offering when I found out this week they're out of bounds you know what I found out that's what I said to them you know you did what I know you

didn't hold on I said yeah you're right for you I said I said for you to make disparaging comment no you know what it's fat phobia if they were against me yeah it's true if they didn't say a lot of fat phobic things go ahead and then there's gonna be I can hold my breath for three minutes no way yeah how'd you find that out I just tried it I was three minutes three minutes which is apparently that's like you know what you should get into is David Blaine can only do six and a half minutes he's a fuck wow see you're a half-blank I'm halfway there and he trained for that shit I wish I could go let's all try

though what are the timing you're gonna be cheating also we need you to grill Adam on this whatever he's saying about the about the thing you the fact that you first of all apologize last week no I retract my ball and now because some fucking yokels in Nashville some fat phobic pieces of shit don't understand what friendship is and don't understand what having someone's back means first of all they understand friendship they're my friends they're not okay and second of all they don't love you I love you they don't love you and you fucking betrayed me and you apologized and I was happy to put it

behind you hit me because you love me I do maybe this is a cycle of violence that I need to bust my way out of you need to you need to give me the names and addresses of the people that said you were right about fucking I'm gonna find them and you know what you probably said thanks you guys are cuz you know what you know many I said I said we're having people come up to me and I said listen Adam he's gay thousands yeah and you know what I say to them a lot of them a lot of them tell me that too here's and I say Adam's my friend I don't know you I said I said but you probably said yeah he's a fucking

idiot no I said no no I'm not making this Sean Patton fiasco yeah when stop yeah stop was on stage Sean said I had a big penis like men's looks like stop's got a huge dick and you're like actually he doesn't actually as dick is very small no I didn't say his dick was very small yes he did no I didn't I said he had a regular size penis no no no no no no sir I'm sorry I should have let Sean Patton think you had a big you should have you should have and you're not fucking educating us I will concede that point I will concede that can you see the sandwich retract your retraction of your post no I want to finish what I

said to those fucking teeth what I said to those people what I said was you pretend like you get and this is the peak behind this is a peak behind after you wear a motherfucker out trying to get you to understand what you did wrong yep and then you finally do the second you breathe easy you say oh but you know I guess I was kind of in the right and it just breaks you down a lot of people said and that's emotional abuse I'm just saying I'm not saying abuse me okay listen you're what I said to those people are toxic you are toxic it's true you're fucking toxic what I said when I said to those people I said it's a show

and we were just having fun that's what I said to them that's a cop out I didn't say yes that's a way for you I didn't say yes you're right that I was not only not only not that I am making himself this magnanimous fucking I said we're just having fun now you're not only saying yes of course he was wrong but for me I'm doing a job I'm entertaining I couldn't ever I said it's just a show we were just he doesn't know any better poor Stavros but I didn't say that he's got say any of that I didn't apply that marmalade on the brain and yeah I didn't apply it are all sticky all sticky and they don't conduct someone wants to come

up to me and say that my friend saw his fat I'll tell them that they're fucking an idiot and they don't they've ever met stuff in real life stuff is not fat at all it's a character it's just a character it's just a show yeah if they want to talk shit but they weren't talking shit about you they were no they were by weighing in against me on the same way they were attacking everything I stand for listen there were a couple and you're so weak we're a professor weak minded that you let these fucking idiots to take away the I'm just correct stance you would finally come to I'm just saying you let them drive a wedge between us okay and

that's your fucking issue I've said this before I am nothing if not a survivor and if popular sentiment goes one way that's where I'm going to that's how fucking that's how you fucking were missing the forest for the fucking trees motherfucker you're around some little dick-ass trees that just wanted to curry favor with you they probably don't even believe it because what kind of a morally bankrupt person would listen to the sandwich saga and land with you on that situation I could they were trying to yeah exactly they so they were lying to you I guarantee you a fucking stop we're in that end town

exactly they would say I can't believe that what Adam did if I were in town I would have hung out in the green room the whole time then gone to my hotel that's probably honestly the most I would have bombed the whole week they would have done better than me on the shows and I wouldn't even fucking care I want to watch any other sets I would not fucking give them advice or be cool to them and I wish them the best of luck but just none of my personal time but none of my time because that's because if they're lucky they get that one in a million shot and things work out it's going to ruin their life because I am I

am actually the one who cares about people not really but right you know it's something to tell yourself to tell yourself it's how I sleep and my sleep is important because I'm bipolar and if I don't sleep then guess who's going to have to use Adam's credit card to buy a bunch of puzzles online fuck is bipolar is it get do people go more bipolar in the fucking winter is there a bipolar season I feel like summer is worse yeah it's like cooks your brain yeah yeah that makes sense um you gotta stay cool yeah you gotta stay sexy out there you gotta stay cool you gotta stay huh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well I guess

since the episode is coming to an end we can discuss the many saints of Newark spoiler alert everyone we will be the many paints of yeah go ahead you get a second crack at the many paints no faggot many paints of what's the guys name Bob Bob Hoskins the painter Ross many paints of Bob Ross that sounds like Newark many paints it's a Bob Ross paints of Bob Ross he's pretty good at painting he's dead dude he was he's got a daughter or granddaughter some shit shall I buy a house in Newark yeah yeah why not it's mad cheap dude you get a house like Forest Hill for like 600 grand is that a neighborhood yeah it's

like a nice historic neighborhood oh really it's just in fucking Newark so it's like how far is it it's like right you know it's right outside Newark's right outside the city we would take like 40 minutes to drive from here no it's it's like Newark is as far away from Manhattan as Brooklyn is basically interesting yeah like if you were living in I don't think that's no it is true if you're living like Ocean Hill or something like you know a little deep like a far crown heights or something it's all you're saying deep Brooklyn it's not like being in Williams where I mean bedstie is pretty fucking close look at

a map you could have I was surprised last time I went to Newark airport how fast it took just want to refute something I'm saying that you're like oh I don't think I don't think I think you're saying that Newark is as far as Brooklyn is not true you go over a bridge and then you're in Brooklyn you can't go over a bridge and be in Newark anyway that movie fucking sucked stop and I both agree that movie sucked it was not very good it broke my heart in fact I would say it was a movie about fucking there's no reason for it to exist you know it really pissed me off if you actually want to talk about as far

away from Manhattan is Ocean Hill or like deep ground heights I didn't know you were talking about deep or flat bush that's first of all it's not deep broken I'm not making this point saying like yeah it's about as far away as Brighton beaches fucking Ocean Hill crown heights that's reasonable flat bush even it's probably closer than flat bush you gotta suck dick you gotta fuck ass you gotta suck pussy what was that Adam um fuck you also dare you I'm wrong about how close Newark is yeah fuck yeah I'm sorry what the fuck is this the Newark Museum of Art what do they got there just a piece of toilet paper

somebody wiped their ass with yeah it's modern art yeah that's modern art get they ass Saga on my phone super to a blinking statue that's the guy that gets his ass his thigh cheeks fucked he was from Newark yeah I didn't know that the building itself looks cool it was a once great city that Italians built brick by brick fucking brick and then they gave it away out of the goodness of their own hearts I can't believe it no the thing that did piss me off yes go ahead is that when you watch the show in all the flashback scenes they're all very like

sweet and kind of like rose tinted there's 595 for this place that's still real money have you looked at a big house you look at this house would cost three million dollars in New York yeah and if you look at home prices in the rest of the country now know where it's fucking cheap it's like the average home prices everywhere like three hundred thousand dollars it's insane yeah that's right hey Greek town you can still get a nice deal over there we should all move to Greek town boys we get a house for 150k that is a really nice house you gotta suck dig you gotta fuck of course I'll never do such a thing now

it's still too far away yeah I'll continue to be fucked in my ass and rent in New York until the money dries up from the show at which point I will start abusing the social services for people with violent mental illness what are we doing for them these days what do you mean the social services I dated a girl for a while that like ran a housing program for mentally ill people oh and she get a house sincerely was like you know I could get you an apartment like um you should have taken her up on it yeah probably damn yeah but then we broke up and then I would have to like check in do you see how Jewish Adam was

there he's like damn I could see the look in his eyes mm-hmm he's like can I fake it sounds like a deal for your apartment look at this place $5.99 gorgeous that is gorgeous yeah and Adam could never live there or see it yeah he's not allowed to say I can go on Zillow on my phone if you do and you do that in my company I will start kicking the back of your show no I'm gonna do it behind your back start kicking your knees and aiming for your growing I'm gonna be doing that behind your back gonna start kicking towards you yeah this even when I hear that your their phone to unlock noise just to be safe I'm gonna put it on silent round

house kicking your ankles and thighs just whacking I feel like movies really overstated giving your legs to the chop movies really overstated the the power of a roundhouse kick no they didn't yeah Adam because Adam tried to roundhouse kick you just don't know how to kick it just takes a long time to get around you know you have no power you can never do karate me mm-hmm why don't have the gumption it's true aren't built for it you're absolutely aren't built for combat Adam does Brazilian shoe kids boo and they serve children's feces and he choose it like bubblegum do you really think if you don't swallow the food they can't

charge you for it and then he spits it back out on the plate and he's like I can still get the new tree I'm turn I'm returning this child children's shit that I refuse to do you really do that Adam what I don't do that but the apple was a Portuguese people yeah I don't do that but you could do that did we say promo code come down yeah we did we did rage role yeah for either one Ridge Wallet blue shoe come down or come down 20 I think they are both come down this time wow what a time to be a lot what I was gonna say stuff was that I feel like in all the flashback scenes in the show you realize that the flashbacks like he's

like with Melphie so you realize that the flashbacks are kind of like misremembering yes color yeah right because that's not like colored glass that's how people remember their childhood right yeah but but you know you're like you can assume that that's not actually how things happen because that's just one guy's memory of his past of course as he's a little kid as he's a little kid too no one remembers things clearly for their youth but I feel like the tone of the movie was the same thing yeah but it wasn't like someone looking back and like having nostalgia for the past it was just like oh we're

gonna make a whole movie it's not even gonna be like Tony misremembering the past right but it's like but it's also like Christopher's and Christopher's the narrator is that how does that it's you know about any of this apparently they had like various like openings and closings that they threw away one was like Carmella in a cemetery looking at Christopher's grave and then she was gonna be the narrator and then just and what we're saying before the show like just all the fucking Easter eggs for the family it felt like a fucking Marvel movie or like it was like all such fan-servicing bullshit where they're

like that's right Carmella when he says karma and she's not there's no reason for to be there's no there's absolutely no reason yeah all the junior lines and all the fucking and then Paulie and Sylvia were whole I mean Sylvia the guy that played Sylvia was just doing a car terrific just a cartoonish impression it pissed me off I really I expected nothing out of that movie and then the next day I was thinking about it and I was just like I'm gonna watch it again I will say I actually like John Bernthal's performance because he's the one guy who wasn't doing an impression I like seeing him in anything because he's did he made

it made the character his own thing yeah and then and then and then I will say radio to second guy Jim one time was yeah John Bernthal yeah and he looked good worked out so quickly that you didn't have time to process it was John Bernthal was he actually working out or was he just I think he probably just was like looking for something to do when you get a quick pump yeah it didn't look like I like seeing that guy just walked around on an exercise ball for a minute and then maybe did like some lat pull downs I can't remember but he wasn't there that long yeah and also wait can I ask you another question do you

think there was an implication that juniors gay because she's like you know he's complaining about his back then she's like yeah that you know you you never you know like she then she implied anything not to fuck anything not to fuck and then you remember in the show there's that scene where he beats the woman up for claiming that he likes to eat pussy because it's gay to like to eat pussy and then there's like that's like one of the saddest scenes it would be really funny if he was gay and eating put in this world eating pussy is gay yeah yeah it kind of is um I don't know I'd

have to rethink that I just thought to like yeah everything was really ham fisted and just just didn't there was no story really there's no reason to make that movie there was there was nothing I will say the the the Italian Hollywood dicks Italian wife was a piece of ass so hot so if you're listening to this can I please suck your tips she looks like kind of like a like a young Penelope cruise she's got real be cruise vibes for sure but it's one of my untowned on so yeah just for a second cuz I didn't watch this thing yeah but how fucking stupid and lazy a name is the many saints of Newark yeah multi-santi is that

what many yeah multi-santi yeah well it's still dumb it's still but also it's like I didn't feel like we understood that world at all it was all felt like a flashback like who were who the fuck was Joey Coco Diaz who was that I don't know like who the fuck was he at all like why don't we know anything about just some guy that looks like pussy yeah and it was funny that they'd like cast some Samoan guy yeah and do yeah the cats of like some Pacific Islander to play I mean I guess you did look a little bit like him but and also just the fucking kid is so bad at acting Gandalfini son yeah now they got his right now they got

his real son I feel bad that's an impossible position to be in yeah it's like your feet he's the greatest actor of all time also that kid like apparently he's like sober he's like had demons but like like as I call it if you use a drink is that I had demons no no but you would imagine haunted by something from hell well you're playing this boob yeah whatever okay maybe I'm reading a little kid I'm reading into things too much but like you like okay you're you're fucking chasing the ghosts of your father who played like the most fucking like legendary fucking television maybe maybe the most yeah yeah right and then

like you lose him when you're a little kid and then you go into acting by playing like that's I feel so bad for him totally and but that's what it feels like is like it's these things where you can't exactly like you can't blame that kid for trying right no and then but you also and it's on some level you can't blame this feels like David Chase this feels like when MJ put on the fucking wizards jersey absolutely where it's like he just wanted a little taste of what he used to be because this it felt like the wizards like yeah there's moments where you're like oh that was pretty cool yeah but it's a mess you know should

have played young Tony Soprano it's Paul Dano just mad fat make him get fat he would have crushed it he would have crushed 15 year old it would have been weird yeah I mean he looks 15 he's probably like 40 at those point but he's way too old to play young but he looks yeah but he's one of the he looks like the G train all the time well that settles it yeah so he should have been look at him now of course how old is he 15 year old he's 52 years he's always gonna look 15 that guy but yeah what they I mean every time it was a character that was from a contemporary like a young version of a character no one did a good

except you know the one who played Olivia was pretty good she was the best party really good and you know what was really cool about it is that her performance she sounded exactly like Carmella and then like oh you like yeah do you marry your mother like that oh that that was the one all that's actually thing that actually like didn't bother and that had some depth to it and was actually interesting and yeah she played like you know what I'll say Ray Leota second guy when the second guy was really good really good but at the same time they should have put a kind of stunt cast cocoa cube in it or cocoa tea

who's that iced tea's boy they should have put her cocoa tea that's her name right yeah cocoa tea she would have been good she would have been good Olivia soprano tell me some other names all right so young for walking as as the returns is Frank white sopranos but this and then why the fuck was Frank Vincent and the fuck was Frank Vincent and they had I think they wanted to do because of 2021 they had to have like a social justice as like although that's not true because I remember they mentioned the Newark riots like in the flashback yeah in season one when he goes to follow his dad to the fair yeah

yeah she's like stay off Springfield Avenue because they tearing it apart so like I guess they're like calling back to that they were but it's also like why did we need to have or no Frank Lucas Frank Lucas not Frank what the fuck was that scene even about I don't mess bro it's like do you remember American gangster we got that guy in this movie too and it's also like the one time you use a real gangster yeah it's the one actually like they never they never say like oh fucking you know whatever if it's gigante or like they don't use real guy it was just fucking bad dude it sucked it sucked it broke my heart yeah

honestly I like went into it expecting nothing the next day I started getting I'm gonna rewatch it but I rewatched it with Racine this weekend because he hadn't seen it but when you put on a movie for a baby yeah I just wanted to keep him yeah just a cross-legged in the diaper rule coming out of his mouth clapping with all of his fingers spread apart Tony yeah don't oh yeah you know it's funny I actually thought the like kid who played Tony as a little kid was better yeah I saw him at I would I saw him Adam saw a little baby interesting yeah he was privately they had a secret you did you had a private meet-up with a

baby I went to a private baby meet-up it sounds well yeah I mean it's meet-up for babies no I mean there were other adult guys there Adam meeting one of his friends from r slash babies yeah we had a meet-up the babies subreddit yeah we all took a selfie together for our baby babies and we had a meet-up and Adam showed up I thought there's the place for baby dicked guys yeah please go raid that subreddit babies will be like yeah my dick is now I thought this was for small dick guys with a little ass day just hundreds of posts like that because it's just people posting their babies oh really like yeah I got a baby just post

your little ass penis on this don't post your actual day don't post any pornography just make it seem like you earnestly thought this was the subreddit for baby dick guys now that the small dick problem subreddit is private oh is it private well they made a private because I made the mistake of trying to in good faith read some of those posts oh I remember that we did that ever got from bar the cat the rice of Lee laugh dude that was a fun episode actually do I mean that that subreddit is one of the funniest things I've ever I know that was one of the best episodes those poor guys 7 fat thighs and a 4x4 hose I mean

like truly like cellar door level prosody yeah that's a better sense than Shakespeare's that rolls from your soul to your tongue is truly beautiful it's really not five seven fat that's good right and fat eyes brings it all together well five seven fat thighs the the the alliteration in the way in which like both worlds sort of like they they they what's it called in music when I don't know the theory term trombogio nah yeah tromba the trombogio of the two well there's that there's what's it five five with brown eyes is that song five five short five five five five fat thighs yeah is there's there's five five there's

like a harmonic tension created it sounds really released by then yeah four foot four by four hose five seven fat five seven fat five seven fat thighs with a four by four of four by four four inches wide like four inches wide is a good size that's I mean he's fucking up the walls you know that guy's got a little chode yeah but that's he's describing a post-it note yeah the shape of a dick it's a that's two yeah but I'm sure plenty of women would like to sit on a fat little chode and flick their mean some shots he just has to find he just has to find the right type of bitch yeah shallow shallow type of

bitch well good luck to that guy that's what that song from the star is born was about in the shallows it's about a bitch with a shallow yeah you got a small dick and you finally found a shallow shallow type of I love bumping up against the shallow pussy oh my god it makes me feel awesome makes me feel like Lexington steal I'm in the shallow and with my little ass dick that song is mad good yeah dude it's a good movie my dick is tiny her pussy shallow it's a good ass movie and fucking Andrew dice Clay's in it what more do you need to know he's a great actor he's a good I it's like a crazy he's one of the best

actors the dice man dude oh I'm fucking gay over here dude that's the dream guest for this podcast we gotta get him once gotta get the dice man I don't think I don't think he'd roll we haven't had you know maybe that's what was keeping the show going was one celebrity guest a year we should shoot for one oh yeah we had David Cross right off the rip Sandra Bullock but then that kind of fell through we lost the file I was like I'm tired of your pussy bitch yeah and she was like can I please do the show begging one of these I was like bring monster garage back then we can then we can talk I'm trying to help then

we can talk about a bitch really unless unless unless I see your husband turning an ice cream truck into a fucking mm-hmm into a disco until it's a mobile disco tecca visa v ice cream mm-hmm we should get Terrence Howard yeah asking about his tiny ass dick yeah and he's like what are you talking about my dick is everybody knows you gotta smile my dick isn't small my dick isn't small I'm black you're like alright here's let's see yeah alright we all know you're lying well let's go ahead and play the club come on man don't do that that's trick photography the director the director did that he

photoshopped me because I fucked his wife his wife and this is me turning the camera Sandra bull and his wife was Sandra and that man's wife was Albert there's a teacher in class and he says he had it's just a very rowdy class a professor walks in and the students are making noise and walking and he picks up his computer his laptop and he smashes it against the black boy god there's a drop of the hat and he's like oh I got your attention I want to tell you about a student who was in this class a couple years ago and she wasn't you know she struggled to pick up the material she was like you guys gonna

unfocus mm-hmm and she thought she couldn't do it and she came to my office it was near the end of the semester she had blown her shot at getting whatever grade point average she needed to continue her scholarship here and she said what like I don't I just don't get it I don't get I don't know if I'm capable of doing this but like I you know how can I get a better grade because she's part of this entitlement generation that's right if you just show up that you deserve an a well that's not how it works and I started a relationship with her and I was having sex with her and she got her a and I got

mines and that girl's name was Sandra just like just bragging the kids the great she was a child with the professor at the end is like turning to a camera oh I destroyed my laptop class dismissed class dismissed I think we all learned an important lesson which is that I fucked which is that I fucked Sandra Bullock as a child as a quid pro quo for an a to give her an a damn well that's an interesting story about Sandra Bullock everyone and enjoy that enjoy your week come see me in Cleveland this tomorrow come downtown and check out the patreon to hear the rest of the conversation that led up to this you

might want to skip that there's a lot of stuff that's not funny to you if you listen to this you're like the show is now just evolved into quote unquote so random comedy yeah it's in it's being done sincerely rather than ironically yeah it's it's now it's just as bad as everything that Adam stood against when he created the show right thank you producer and creator at home what I hated most and it was creative vision for the show when he started the show the first season before mainstaff joined after right Tony Braxton and Lance ready how many episodes you guys do we called ourselves the not ready for

prime-time players how many episodes you guys do about I think we did three seasons 150 episodes each that's so much more yeah and we had a much bigger audience Lance Reddick is like you know it's like what if Dennis Blundin from head of the class was gay Tony Braxton just singing her own songs with Dickie yeah she's with but it's gay I suck my dick yeah that was actually a Tony original I'm not gay again all right wow damn we did way too much we'll take this will be shorter 30 minute episode next all right bye I can't believe we gotta have a timer this can't have a set of time from now on