The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 284 – potpourri

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

juiced to the gills

and and we're off and it's the show Adam just said something incredibly racist yeah no I didn't you really did dude I was I said jiggaloo and they thought I was gonna say I was fondly remembering the time you yeah I know wait wait wait oh yeah that was so funny dude JP to catch and we got our friend JP just penis I don't think we've ever acknowledged this on we have a hundred percent but one time oh wait do you cut it out we were doing anything we were doing it for no reason sounded like it sounded like I said it was out of complete nowhere song lyrics style from what it sounded like in a much more

reprehensible way but that's it didn't that's not what it sounded like you know what I heard you were saying bingo I heard someone say I heard someone say say wiga the other day instead of wigger and I think it's the inverse of the n-word where I think if you say it with a soft day it's actually sounds I was I was arguing the New York and the New York soft day n-word is actually a different word like etymology it was logically has a different linguistic well it's short for New Yorker it's like it just turns into that and so to get to call it racist it's like you know our culture first of all you don't yeah you just don't speak the

language you're a gentrifier you weren't here in 2014 when you wasn't there when the porn theaters were popping and I don't think I mentioned on the show New York you weren't here in Australia before we had a Chipotle I was at a coffee shop and like I was already inside the coffee shop it was a busy place so line goes out the door and the door opens and there's this black lady and a white lady arguing already and the black lady is in the hammer she's on the phone telling her friend what the argument is yes so she's like she's impatient she don't want to wait for no damn line Karen and to start hitting the white lady

with Karen the white lady is like please stop talking to me or whatever you can tell from her face it's like this woman probably never in her life and that this was like she's gonna spend years in therapy right because she never considered that she was a Karen right she probably spent the last year online retweeting Karen stuff a hundred percent and now sure it's just like it's been you thought you was safe and the thing about the thing about that you were saying the thing about that lady is like she probably is now completely racist yeah oh for sure is that now the second a black person has any criticism yeah

they're gone yeah it's it that's it now it's like they were right the whole my dad was right yes daddy was right about these fucking people and she even tried to hit that bitch about like she's like I come here every day and the lady's like yeah I've lived here my entire life yeah damn which honestly too I don't think the white lady even did anything wrong she just opened the door before checking to see if there is a line I see but hey that's what happens the rules it's me entirely projecting and assuming you've been retweeting Karen stuff for a year and she did she was yeah you got to be careful you get trapped in those I was

in a Burger King where that was very chaotic on Fulton and like things were just going to rye and everyone's waiting for like at least 10 minutes for their food yeah and every like people were starting to get vocal right and there's one other white couple of vocal type just generally there was a cacophony and and this and this the only other white guy that was a name cacophony with my damn burger that bitch the only other white guy and they're like turned to me and he's like jeez what's going on like don't bring me into this yeah yeah yeah we cannot appear to be

allies I learned that lesson for the final time like it was probably two years ago there was a black lady on the train beating her mentally retarded son like fucking like just like beating and he was like he was like you know he was like this you know like like chicken ball chicken ball like just the most sweetest you think chicken no I'm doing the David Cross from just yeah he was like you know like the kid was just he was just sweet lead and she's on her phone she's like you gotta pick your son up I'm not fucking but like taking his this is like a 10-year-old boy taking his neck and slamming his head against the window and you

know it's how I got up and I went over the cross train I'm like man please you know it's like and then you know she's yelling me and fucking you know yeah you know just like well you think you gonna save the day fuck you know like doing like oh my god it's like all I can do because like what's gonna happen is I'm gonna call the police right you know and then they're gonna put him in yeah retard foster care yeah so I was just sweet I was like I'm not trying to tell you what to do just like you know like there's any do you need help it's like what's going on you know and it didn't go anywhere and it's like this is she's

just gonna go beat that kid later yeah even more probably good that you did something I mean there's gonna be backlash every time you know I in retrospect it's like yeah you just gotta yeah there was this guy I was on the G a few months ago and like this guy just was blocking the doors and preventing them from closing he's like what's the next stop what and he like leans over to some teenage kid gets right in his face like what's the next stop and I was like there's a map right over there and he turns around at me and he's got a karate gi on I believe he was wearing I think it was in Philly like some guy raped a

woman for eight minutes on the train and it's like what kind of people would just sit there and watch that happen and it's like well yeah that's wrong the correct answer though is not to intervene it's to go through the cool doors and go to the next step yeah the cigarette break it's time to go to use to go through the bathroom and to you know that does feel awesome I love when two guys are fighting so I get to use those doors yeah or when a homeless person homeless person smells particularly ripe yeah you know that's crazy when you walk into an empty subway car and you realize why it's empty why it's empty happens to one

time the the trend the funniest train thing that ever happened to me is you know how sometimes you'll get a guy rapping really loudly to himself two of those guys got on at the same time and it was literally like one guy was like shut up the other guy was like shut up and they were just like both rapping louder until they were literally fucking each other up they were beating the absolute fucking shit out of each other yeah don't jump on another man's verse and exactly it was literally like that and I was like one of the best things I saw was a junkie on the train and like just nodding off but he had headphones

on he was like do it like he was like start from the bottom and he kept sinking lower and I was staying up on the train yeah yeah they have perfect balance they have some sort of equilibrium where they can just teeter to almost completely you can really see it like how the Nazis made that drug it does seem engineered to create a type of super they do heroin made they invented heroin but the so my the two rapping guys on the train that I was in they were fucking each other up and then just like the coolest looking like just like mid like 50s black guy that look he basically looked like common yeah bold

light-skinned black guy with like an awesome beard like Microsoft a dude he just like fucking talk them both down and then he completely diffused the situation and then one guy just fucking sucker punch the other guy and knocked him straight out and just left ran out the doors yeah I did see actual common on McDougal Street oh wow and there was a nerdy white guy like following him down the street telling him how lyrical he was that's so awesome very on brand that's fucking the best thing I saw in the train recently I took a picture of the guy which I really I didn't I feel like creep shotting is

okay posting is no but yeah yeah friends just for the fellow there's a guy diffuse balding comb over television writer's body awesome like the perfect so hot yeah just you know like just like so absolutely no muscle on his you know just like an aunt's arms just the guy just so fucking lasagna arms yeah I'm trying to remember what book he was reading he had a shirt on it said this is what a sex worker looks like no he's a sex worker and then yeah so the shirt said this is what it looks like and then let me I sent a guy selling bussy I gotta be the book that he was reading what if he sucks awesome cock what if you

put your cock near that guy's mouth that it just feels the best it's ever felt in your life yeah he's like the super head of he could be super lampoon yeah the book the book was like modern masculinity or something that's so sick yeah the guy had the whole complete package that's so awesome please give me a pussy package this is what a sex worker looks like because you know that the shirt is supposed to be in solidarity with sex workers that he stands up for mm-hmm it's like an I'm Spartacus and the sex worker see that like yeah can you change the train we're going to some we're going to the Jane hotel we're

going to LaBaine Nick and I like both wearing backpacks like from like you know like leaving an open mic we meet up my friend Eric from college wasted and it's like the train the train's packed and there's like this girl that's like just this like Brighton Beach fucking just sex traffic like crazy and play bitch denim fringe mini skirt and fucking Eric just kind of leans over to roll drunk on the train and he's like where's the party at not a response I miss him so much you are police he takes me the other day pissed about the MLB playoffs oh yeah I'm sick of these fucking big market teams dude basically

fucking Dodgers in Houston interesting Bob interestingly Bob baseball is actually gay so I don't care I'm done with baseball forever and plus the yeah the ashes although I do respect them just cheating and just getting to fucking respect that it's pretty funny I mean yeah fuck them I'm not paying attention until the Yankees rehire Costanza there should be an era of just like really massive cheating like on the steroids level but with like signals and that was the best era but that's the thing if you're gonna cheat but yeah cheating would be like cheating would be a different kind of

awesome you know what I mean if there was like spies and yeah you know you try and different frequencies they're only audible this that's what that's what the fucking they have like dogs ears weren't they banging on trash cans yeah they had a trash can they had like some yeah they got busted using this technology but they probably investigated and found out that the rest of the league was probably involved in similar stuff so they just dropped it they had enough dirt on other teams but they were just the most brazen about it yeah they probably the worst at it the they got caught I mean they won the world

there's no way that little fuck knew that all this Chatham was gonna throw a slider on that last day yes yeah it was didn't didn't there's something where he wouldn't take his shirt off yeah when he was coming to home he's like yeah he came up with some ridiculous I was like no I have a tattoo really into American history I watched American history X before I was familiar with World War 2 I just got a cool tattoo that's the best thing about baseball is that it's all like just like fat mega farm boys and then like passionate Latin men like borderline like like like dandy but like yeah still very hungry for pussy oh

yeah yeah yep a kind of man I respect that's a great two groups being crammed into the same sport and then a Japanese guy with a translator a couple Japanese guys bowing to everyone yeah shout out to Ohtani that guy's cool I fuck with that guy you remember when who's the pitcher for the Yankees the the David Wells the Japanese dude the Japanese guy they were he wrote an apology letter in the New York Times when he got hurt today on Omo no no he's a Dodger Tanaka Tanaka Tanaka they did get surgery and he wrote an apology this is dishonorable yeah I brought dishonor that guy rolling yeah dude the Yankees had a couple they

always these they used to always get a couple Japanese guys they would pay them way too much money yeah and they would bust they would almost always bus Tanaka as good though China's got baseball now they do yeah oh yeah I watch out maybe they had it and they got rid of it because it wasn't popular yeah well Beijing for now they realized they could take basketball from America they could probably take baseball too what kind of sports do the Chinese play karate well they're like gymnastics I guess all their fucking sake and ping pong all the shit that they win the gold medals for right there we're flipping the sports

way left hand is good I went to the when I went to the Olympics and I know for in Athens what I want to see ping pong those guys were fucking sick with it yeah oh jealous there was something it was the Olympics this year yeah there was that one clip from ping pong that was insane did you see that yeah they were like but I mean it was like an insane volley yeah they're on opposite like from they're both like perpendicular to the 40 feet away yeah but on the sides of yeah yeah yeah and this is spinning and she was so fucking sick I wish I was as good as anything that those motherfuckers are a ping pong yeah

literally anything like even like putting my shoes on yeah yeah yeah they're fucking savants with that shit if you're just joining us you can turn the podcast off yeah this is the we talk about China this is for white men remembering baseball it which is gay I hate baseball let's remember something else what's your nice swimming that was big this year Tokyo it was Tokyo right yeah you know I always thought was weird about Japan they got Tokyo they got in the place called Kyoto yep or they just rearranged the fuck that's true yeah it's like you but you got instead of Boston you got what York knew it's not

up yeah that's the knob it's the knob yeah that'd be a place people could live all we got Boston and Austin very similar in that regard city where they like hate straight people yeah I guess yeah I guess you could say that we're not that different yeah some kind of fucking quit what are you you want to fucking suck clits yeah yeah I'm Stan I'm straight walk by with your 14 you never like the man's ass you've never heard of a fucking rave you've never been to a fucking rave before yeah this fucking this fucking had a row has never heard of a hundred geck I tell you this guy's never drank calm before by

the time I was 12 I'd seen mindless self-indulgence 15 times no more I'm not let me suck your cock I'm not straight I'm not straight bro I got hot opinions on line of Delray yeah yeah I'm a bob kid we covered her I'm a fucking Bob she's she's gotten fat has she yeah this is a celebrity god damn what a just what a fucking how dare she podcast got real but I've I've gone on record and said I would still fuck her yeah just that very hot woman you would have sex yeah she's got a dad put on like five pounds she's got a dad bodice her she's part of the pussy posse 24 year old women that would be sick the

pussy posse should have a lesbian in the mix you know Ellen the generous she dresses kind of like Toby yeah yeah same build you think you think they fucked girls at the same time I think Toby and Leo we're all fucking and David Blaine we're all Eiffel Tower they didn't have the balls to run a train I don't think I don't think they were that close no Blaine was just appearing while they were fucking someone oh he would just fucking apparate yeah now I got a really David Blaine videos like a month ago he's the best yeah I had magic I said this on the show I think I can beat his breath holding record what is it I think

it's like eight minutes no it's six you only did so he's under water though yeah don't Navy Seals do it for a long time three to four minutes I looked it up interesting I could definitely compete the Navy I've done three minutes because your brain doesn't need that much oxygen you can just go dude that's right you shut your shit off some of this shit I'm like I'm like a fly you put in the freezer that's right and you just reanimate yeah tie a string just in there thinking about shit waiting till my blood freezes yeah that's how you can do all that David Goggins stuff like he was in Navy so you just turn your brain

off mm-hmm the bit the bit of the fucking more of a retard you are the easier it is to not to do shit like that that's the whole point of that training instead it's not to make you a better athlete or anything just to like break you down yeah whatever we say and like kill whoever we want you to kill my favorite part of Navy Seals training is when they make them sit on the beach during high tide with their legs up so that the water goes in their asshole kid I'm about to be the Navy Seals kid sounds fucking awesome fill me up with saltwater kid it's called whole survivor game they play it's a vital skill

all right private now you're gonna suck the water out of my ass I had a friend in college who's in rather that book like loan survivor or whatever the kids like oh dude this book is so sick you got to read it it's really fucking funny it's a guy who got captured and didn't really do anything he's like Courtney Courtney Fearrington was reading it in an open mic he's Jack he can set up a court he served he's also a veteran yeah true he's a US Marshall he works at Marshall's a Marine no I mean now oh now this job in New York you know because we know him from DC yeah but I'm pretty sure his job here was he worked for the

US Marshall oh interesting maybe not as a Marshall but with the Marshall sir pretty sick job you and you and Tommy Lee we're gonna suck every asshole every every pussy his name is Courtney Fearrington he does open mic Washington DC New York City find out everything you know about him but what was this oh the the Navy Seal thing was like my friend was like oh he got to read this book it's so sick it's like he talks about like how he got kidnapped and he was looking at stuff in the room that he could use to like take out the other guys like did he do that yeah no right he just got just wait he got captured and he didn't break out yeah

correct so he just got he just got returned to where was he in Bosnia or something Afghanistan Afghanistan oh wow damn he was a real tactical yeah guy okay fucking Mark Wahlberg had to make that move had to make like veteran movies after he had that faux pas by saying he would have stopped 9-11 yeah and that's when he stopped making you know he was right regular times he absolutely would have stopped I'm sure he would wait wait wait was that the terrorist would have been taking pictures of forgotten to do 9-11 if you have any doubt in your mind that in the fucking al-Qaeda training camp they're not just like

re-listening to the Mel Gibson voicemail and fucking watching Mark Wahlberg movies they're having a blast yeah do the Taliban those pictures of them having fun yeah it's it's the happiest I've been in like the last six months doing really bad just seeing them yes seeing them not know how to use the elliptical after the Afghanistan pullout people are like oh this is gonna cost Biden the election it's like now it's literally no one gives a fucking no no cares at all okay but yeah there's still coverage it's like women in Afghanistan fighting to further rights was like yeah good luck with that we'll see how that goes I wouldn't put my money on the women in that one yeah not listen sister I'm going Taliban I'm

taking the Taliban money line on that one 20 year war Mark Wahlberg should make a movie where he's a woman in Afghanistan he's like you're saying I got to cover my pussy up you said I'm not allowed to show my pussy at the fucking market anymore I'm trying to show my fucking pussy off at the market they're trying to say that we can't lean in yeah fuck these quiz I used to be the CEO of Bumble you want to stand bro I'm a fucking girl boss now I'm married to a guy with Down syndrome that owns an AK-47 we're gonna run opium over the board until we got the funds to take on these guys that would be fucking sick

dude he is a pretty guy yeah he's jacked he's like too jacked for the length of his arms yeah he looks kind of inflated that's true you're saying his arms are too short yeah I think he looks good I think he looks perfect and they personally I also like it looks I think that's a good that's a perfect proportions that somebody could have the John Cena type the Taliban got to be way into fast and furious I could see that yeah super into because they're all about family too yeah I saw a guy driving on the street with a charger the other day and on the side of the decal that said Torino hell yeah or Toretto

Toretto sick hell yeah you see that so far walked Paul Walker's daughter daughter down the aisle and it was everything he drove her down there and a record he drifted her down the aisle this is hand coming out of a super driving down the aisle and then a fiery crash I don't want to get sued but apparently homosexual who Vin Diesel apparently it's good others have a leg when you say I mean that guy is gay apparently when you say apparently do you mean cuz you fucked your ass like the straightest guy I've ever I don't know that gay guys could drive cars dude he's just fancy why would why would a gay guy be into that

bustling guy wearing a wife beater just oiled up old up that pressing his lips at the camera yeah that video them singing Rihanna is beautiful they got him discovered by Spielberg no he drops it he drops a hard F in there you know with the Gaisler and does this monologue from this thing that he wrote where he plays like an Italian stereotype so you know so I get in this fight real quick did he write boiler room no yeah was that it he was like a one-act thing that he wrote no the movie boiler but I don't think so maybe the guy who wrote boiler room really and it's I'll share the video somewhere but it's like

a hilarious I started watching fan the brothers again those good show yeah I used to watch like once a year but put the first episode I'm on yelled at me because I was watching better brothers in a sex scene came on no really seminal moment yeah is that the one with Tom Hardy where he's fucking the some some farm girl yeah the north of France or whatever Tom Hardy's Tom Hardy's in that show just getting pussy for a minute yeah that's all he is really he's not that jacked either his first big role was Nemesis oh he's the bad guy yeah he played like Prado or what's his name Renz on I forget he's when he was young

he had just big lips he looked gay as hell yeah he's my space my space pics are awesome dude he straight up looks like from above from above and he's like ass cheeks are out he just looked like it looks like a gay thought that he started like popping off of my space was you know I think I found his he was the dain cook was he like X RR Tom Hardy XX he also had like he was alternating uppercase lowercase yeah well he was he had he had fucking Ed Hardy and Ed Hardy like hat like one of those diamondy fucking hats are they family yeah I think so yeah have you seen the thing that from 2010 Tom Hardy

I'm an actor of course I've had gay sex I'm gonna start saying when asked to be ever had sex with men Tom replied of course I have I'm an actor for fuck's sake I've played every I've played with everything and every one I love the form and the physicality but now that I'm in my 30s it doesn't do it for me I'm done experimenting but there's plenty of stuff in a relationship with another man especially gay men that I need in my life a lot of gay men get my thing get my thing for shoes I have definite feminine qualities a lot of gay men are incredibly masculine respect a lot of people shit God fucking

damn it Adam you talk about Christian drinks if if you're the sponsor listening to check to see if we forgot to read we didn't a lot of people say I see masculine but I don't feel it I feel intrinsically feminine I'd love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I'm not one of the boys with this he did this interview while trying to cycle off after making Bronson yeah he did yeah yeah so the estrogens were coming back his trend was yeah that movies badass he looks fucking hot and that's the kind of body I want to look

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that you're not like him at all I said you're kind of like you remind me of Tom that's what's on the record you said you're mine you're kind of like I admired you because you remind me I never said I admired you and I admire you how free you are with your sexuality you know even though I'm straight there's certain aspects of my straight sexuality I don't I feel like I'm not free with yeah when you gay are very free go ahead Adam it looks like high-quality marijuana and it feels like high-quality marijuana and it tastes like high-quality marijuana but the CBD content is up to 20% which is the

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guys they come in three lines in order to call an Adam's face no that's not what it's how we got the sponsors that raped Adam they did rape Adam I'll do it I'm a team player I met the guys that could from cushy dreams in Phoenix and they were very complimentary about your asshole and they said it felt the most like a pussy that they had ever felt yeah well it's because I do a little do a little makeup job it's very lippy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Adam's asshole has pussy lips big labia got it got a pussy installed no it's so loose it's like the ring looks like lips actually it's an incredibly expensive procedure I went

to Thailand with my mother on top of all the rejuvenations yeah we got yeah we got a pussy did you take some balls get and make pussy lips with it and glue it to your ass it sounds like Frankenstein's lab just getting zapped back into shape anyway there are three lines private reserve ultra premium and premium it's gay it's getting gay it's gay Adam's pussy cut my assistant Fritz thanks it's Halloween again we I guess them when this comes out but fucking yeah we forgot about Monster Mash oh the greatest the best one we've ever done let me finish real quick yeah that's what

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come town you nailed that last thanks dude and that's the read and that's the read and if you're looking to have sex with Adam's ass you go to cushy dreams dot com slash come town slash Adam's ass and if you're looking to come see some live stand-up comedy what you're gonna want to do is come to fucking Detroit this week of the Saturday or Columbus this Sunday and then on the 10th here in New York City I will be doing a fucking beautiful fuck my hour at the New York Comedy Festival and then New Orleans then Tampa and I think Los Angeles coming up little teas for you guys look at look out I can't confirm it

yet as of this recording but maybe by the time it comes out we'll be in LA and then Boston and then there's also patreon.com slash come patron that comes less come to come downtown for shirts which is now gone which does not exist here the shop is gone until I can figure out how to fucking some so you get the check that out also to little teas we we have a guest coming up this Sunday that we think you're really gonna like little teas is what they call me because my little testicle little little teas because you have that big JP you probably have we talked about this little off mic probably a skinny long

penis incredibly long incredibly skinny like useless it's like a capri cigarette you'll hit one small point of the back walls like a laser you having sex is like a Capri Sun straw going into a fucking Capri Sun it's like a procedure it's like a laparoscopic yeah if a bitch has a assist at the back of her pussy JP's the guy watching like a tapir you get she doesn't know it's in until it hits her stomach that's awesome it's coming out of her nose I've never hit that pussy up David Blaine fan of mine he came to my first he's a fan of your TV thing I did really the famous comedy central roast battle and he was

at the tape was he like hey really good job he did tap me on the arm I went by I didn't know he was there did you do a trick he didn't do a trick but then it was like oh I'll rape you I'll look the other way on your I can't lose that name good set then he walks outside directly into traffic and gets creamed by a bus and he's like you only gonna see that once you're not again he comes out balls hanging out of his head surprise bitch this is my new trick yeah being killed just him on fifth Avenue was a Vaseline in his ass sitting down on a fire hydrant and then just black people be like three quarters of the way down push my head push my

head down push to the fire hydrant all the way up my ass he got his cheeks on the sidewalk that would be awesome I really do envy his his universal acceptance by black people of course you're at me that that's all you see when I respect magic so much Adams Adams on Amazon looking at magic kids yeah I think it had some magic kids that's that's act two after this podcast is over yeah I'm getting a tick-tock I'm gonna start well I mean a lot of this stuff David Blaine at the card tricks I'll never know I can't even shuffle cards but jamming a knife

through my own hand yeah that's just endurance I could get there you definitely could actually I believe that you should just start doing shit like that I should do just stabbing myself in front of Ricky Gervais I'm like check this oh it's making me more of an atheist did you have a video where you like let me ask you Ricky do they have fire hydrants in Britain we're calling wet Willy check this out oh shit oh he's put the wet Willy in his bun yeah he's been sitting down in the style the whole time and then he just shits the fire hydrant he like slides up it

at the end like at the end like it's just like Kanye just like shaking his head when he's like all the way down the sidewalk and David Blaine's like you might give me a hand and then he goes like honey like takes his hand he gets up and the fire hydrant's gone it's gone where it got and there's like this sidewalks perfectly paved and there's just a little bit of wet cement on the back of David Blaine's pants he gets rid of the fire eyes and paves over the sidewalk he writes Kanye and Kim 2005 with a heart over it and then it's been but it's been there for 20

years somehow that's all it's like I did that for you kiss it kiss the kiss rubber didn't he like throw up a picture of his dead mom after he kisses it yeah oh shit RIP Donda trying to get what she was trying to get her titties done in Mexico or something like that what happened yeah it was it was bad plastic Donda Kong RIP sounds like donkey sounds like I'm not saying anything it just sounds like it's not like she was getting new eyelids put on or something she did oh really yeah probably anesthesiologist fucked up something like that allegedly allegedly dude you don't get sued don't get a suit here by the

anesthesiologist that killed Joan really it's him and Vin Diesel are gonna be pissed after this episode oh I'm sorry I'm an anesthesiologist I work with getting my main pain because I'm my job is to put things in my ass okay nice yeah that's awesome it's a type of dog Adam would you consider becoming an anesthesiologist oh I mean I would love to get my MD after the show is over trying to work for the Long Island Railroad we took a we took a car ride 12 hours each way we didn't listen to the radio the whole time it just talked it was great and we talked mostly about the railroad it sounds like that's awesome

place to work it has like I'm gonna set you straight JP I'm giving you putting you in a railroad trip funniest guy I've ever I've maybe ever known including that's who the funniest people in the world are is like Union Rail workers yeah yeah truly that's I was on the fucking Amtrak and there was a guy who worked food Amtrak who was going home to fucking like Trenton or new workers some just you know one of the awful Jersey towns and he looked like imagine if like arty didn't take care of himself without all this fucking guy shit now the fucking twit and his he's just so fat and disgusting and he's wearing his

work shirt that had a hole like ripped ripped completely out he's sitting there reading the New York Post yelling it like this other guy works I fucking told them I'm not fucking doing that shit try to tell me to get another shirt exactly and then he gets up and his fucking ass ripped the cushion off the seat I've watched his ass just like pulled it it was in the cafe car to this guy this guy Rick who worked for the railroad I might have told you this already but real quick to before I forget yes Adam has something else he wants to tell us about I mean what about what about super organics wait wait wait wait I don't

think I've completely fucked this up I think last because that was last week so what we need to do now is talk about blue chew and then again we're gonna have to talk about rich wallet play oh so we so we're okay man hey listen cushy dreams that one's on the house yeah cushy dreams gets a free one blue chew blue chew this episode of come town is sponsored by blue chew say with us blue chew blue chew is making waves and bringing more confidence in the bedroom by offering twoable tablets that can help men gets stronger longer lasting erections it's a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients

as what stuff so see Allison Viagra that's right but in chewable form which that's my big action of the cost my one of my biggest problems with Viagra and see also back me up here jp not a food he said it's not a food yeah it's not chewable and the cost is too much it just it takes so little blood to get my incredibly skinny penis I'm not even familiar with these drugs yeah a mosquito would not have even feel anything you got a start juicing dude yeah we got to see that skinny little prick hardest fuck I'm getting a widening like a pencil yeah maybe if I maybe if I took a blue chew chewable yeah maybe it could help

you achieve harder and stronger erections to combat all forms of ED erectile dysfunction blue chew is an online prescription service so no visits to the doctor no awkward conversations no waiting in line at the pharmacy and it ships right to your door in a discrete package and the process is simply sign up you consult with one of their licensed medical providers and once you're approved you'll receive your prescription within days and the best part it's all online wow blue chews licensed medical providers work with you to find the right ingredient and strength for your prescription don't

like swallowing pills no problems here so basically they have so sit still denafil and to Dan a phil right and the tablets are chewable that's right they're made in the US and they prepare to ship directly to you and it's so it's cheaper than going to the pharmacy right great so here's the deal guys you try fucking blue chew free when you use our promo code to check out come town it's just $5 shipping that's blue chew dot com promo code come town you receive your first month free and we thank blue chew for sponsoring so much the podcast we thank you blue chew thank you so much I think it's a great product that can give

you a little bit of extra confidence I thank blue chew not only for sponsoring us but for existing yes making my dick because look I was I was being pretty healthy during the pandemic JP a lot of weight yeah great caps I'm back thank you I'm back on the road I have been eating like shit my dick is not working like it used to chief now that I got these fucking pills I swallow them up my dick is buried in Arlington so yeah the grave of the Confederate soldier the tomb of the mass unmeasurable because it's too small soldier no yes you said you said everyone heard him say that was it they call the song Dixie because it's

about Nick's penis that's right too small little Dixie the tomb of the unmeasurable soldier first of all bitch my dick whimsical my dick my dick it's got a playful mentality my dick got a wild imagination show used to be funny years ago I know years and years and years ago I know now it's all like Harvey Keitel what's that guy up to I don't fucking know I saw his cock one time was pretty big oh wait what are we talking about fucking super organics Ridge wallet did you say that did you I do the read luckily the ridge wall guys are cool otherwise I feel bad about trying to jam this they're cool guys but

Sean and Ridge wallet shout out to them they're also they had fucking did like advertisements on during the playoffs oh that's huge that's a relatively new company I think they've been around as bad as long as a podcast it's a real baseball guy product for sure yeah it's a great wallet instantly that's a no bad flip the worst Ridge wallet ever did was advertised with with gas digital because I saw Lewis had one and I said I will never own one of those but then you see guys walking around with like underarmor golf shirts with Ridge watching like damn I respect them now well they send it say send it to us

because you know we do the reads or whatever and I was in between wallets and I used it and I'll never use another one should we should we talk about Ridge wallet a little bit let's let it breathe for a second while we're at it no we should talk about Ridge wallet let's talk about Ridge wallet so it's a father and son team Daniel and Paul Kane that launched the Ridge wallet on Kickstarter in 2013 and now sits in the front of and it now sits in the front of pockets of over a million men and women with your dad with your gay ass father yeah we're going into business together god imagine yeah we're making wallets for Lewis

Jay Gomez and golf guys we're under armature the two of the gay sex father and son wallet JP I got a fucking idea for you what we got wallets that weren't gay these are like dad why don't we call it Ridge wallet instead of the gay sex father and son he's like that's why I brought you on board that's genius well imagine I don't mind for marketing wouldn't that be awesome if you and your dad owned Ridge wallet you wouldn't have to do the podcast you'd be rich all day that'd be awesome we have to see if the new wallets fit inside your ass for the front pocket not the ass and you're too long men have had their wallets

in their asses and now with Ridge wall you can have it in your front pocket yep at Ridge they prefer to do more with less and it's not just a remark on resourcefulness I prefer to do less with less that's true you dick don't work also you bust immediately which is hard to do perfectly flat just enough you know what you know what I'm really into more so than busting immediately what's that brother is deciding that you're never going to bust immediately and then telling someone to leave that isn't that's an even play it off like something no it's not right yeah I'm not gonna it's not right that we're doing this isn't

gonna work by I see yeah because at that point I forgot I rented master and commander and I gotta watch it before it expires I got 40 I really respect that because at that point it's literally easier just to fuck poorly yeah then it is to be like yeah have a conversation yeah anyway so basically they're streamlining daily life through quality products that's defining every day essentials all its backpacks and chargers line down with minimalists designs that don't sacrifice by eliminating excess like one of those we're saying that you piss yourself out of the light let me just let me see you

man they also they made a special for Adam the rich diaper that's true they do have it but it's a streamlined golden diaper it's just over your dick hole and asshole there's so much unused fabric in most diapers and in this day and age you know landfills are filling up with these things Jewish men's diapers 34 year old Jewish just filled with diapers yeah and the Nazis took these just a pile of diapers forced we're forced to go there's a positive twist on it though these were the Nazis diapers pull long shifts and by eliminating excess and building to performance grade we turn the items you carry every day into tools for better

living carry less live more that's the Ridgewall guarantee they got a lot of great products we use we use them rich wall they got a lot of aluminum titanium carbon fiber they got bags car cases gear knives power strips and it's I don't even know about the power stripping in its center I'm looking forward to checking those out because I'm a fan of everything Ridgewall so go to Ridgewall is there is there promo code or we just want to talk come down come down 20 we did this before which you remember you come down 20 or come down enter promo code come down to check out and you'll get 20% off for something so fucking

which is a great deal on great products said the fridge wall for stop the bitch wall for girls yeah the smidge wallet for your dick because it's just a smidge of a penis the mid-wallet for me because I enjoy the marvelous Mrs. Maisel that's true yeah I'm never watch that show what's it about fucking some bitch Jews going to fucking bank or something yeah so about some bitch it goes to the fucking bank every day it sounds like she should have magical powers but I think she just does stand up yeah it's a bullshit name Jewish Mary Poppins is exactly she should be Jewish shows up she's like a spoonful of sugar well let's do a half

spoon of sugar sugar is coming out of my paycheck so it's a quarter spoon full of sugar floats in on an umbrella to be the family's lawyer well a spoonful of sugar dilutes the expensive medication you know they're adding her to the next Avengers Mary Poppins Marvel's amazing yeah Maisel's she's not in the comic books she's canon she's MCU yeah hell yeah I heard they're gonna make a fucking a fighting game with a Scooby-Doo in it just a real thing I heard yeah I thought that was like a setup to a punchline nope dude I'm gonna now JP I'm gonna you haven't been paying attention the last hour I'm gonna fight Velma every

round I was thinking about getting a dog and then cuz you know people do people get mad for your dog shit on the street if I go if I walk my dog but and then I use tongs to pick up the dog shit and then put it in trash can see how long before people are like just leave the shit on the street I'm just carefully picking up dog see you barbecuing in front of your house oh no yeah that's awesome you should do that man there are too many dogs in the city I'll say it yeah more cats us dogs what we need is wild macaws all of the city to die in the winter and then we repopulate them are they predatory or do they eat like

grubs I think they eat kumquats and fucking they're loud as shit they're a lot of shit and they're beautiful they're like me they talk to God's I was a black lady arguing with them a cause on the phone like oh she don't want to be patient yeah yeah okay so you say you in line so you saying you in line and you're in line and you're in line and you're in line and where my fries my fries got damn dude should I get Popeyes what's a Mickey Neese yesterday pure chaos I love it yeah what's your order a couple of double cheeseburgers and some fries you know I used to love them 10 bucks 10 McChicken sandwiches off

the dollar menu that's fucking insane really love their minds it's fucking honey get a bunch of the sweet and sour sauce not a fry in sight no just 10 of the chicken sandwiches and then 40 the St. Ides nice yeah 10 McChicken sandwiches and drink a 40 Jesus what did your shit look like after that dude my favorite combination was like a Bud Light 40 and double stuff Oreos I don't think I've ever mixed drinking in Oreos beer it mixes great with beer it's like even better than milk really really but I haven't drank or your favorite do you give it a little dip damn JP I didn't know you were that much

of a drunk at some point he's Irish I know that was a little nightcap Bud Light in Oreos you ever do anything you ever drunk it'd be a fun fun like a fun I drove drunk a few times it was probably not great a fun super hero but like one like Ant-Man or low-tier ones his name's nightcap he gets drunk and crashes into the criminal thanks nightcap he's like hey where the fuck are you as long as we're on the same page Reno he's got that he's got diabetes he just like launches his his land sets at the criminals I was a traffic court one time and a guy I got that coming up I

caught a case yeah a guy was a guy was like on the dock at before me and he like he had gone on a little like a high-speed chase nice and there was like fucking 15 cruisers behind him and he eventually like crashed into a Jersey wall and like he just got traffic court well because he had already like I guess he had already proven that he was diabetic and like had a medical emergency but then they still cited him and he was like yeah they already let me off with everything else like it's of this ticket and the judge is like you know they're just threw it out immediately but it was very funny to see

did he get his insulin while he was in court he crashed yeah I bet there are lawyers who specialize in like high-speed chases specifically and they're like okay we're gonna force feed you sugar until you get diabetes yeah if they see a fat guy that their eyes line up like yeah you got diabetes oh that's the money right they still have a television shows like the Wildest Police Chases with Sheriff John Bonnell those were great I'm Sheriff John Bonnell and I'm gay I'm Sheriff John Bonnell Ramsey yeah and I like to put our officers all across the country kissing hug each other every night

nutting inside of each other's asses it's one of the most dangerous jobs in the world and I'm proud to have done it for 25 years goodbye Adam you got a pee now do you piss on my nuts brother it's on YouTube that's true you fold it in with like shootout videos this is way more intense than they could ever show well the Russian dash cams kind of like destroyed the need for World's Wildest Police that's true because I love just hitting a bear full speed yeah it's like you know they're driving like 80 miles an hour and it's listening to like the worst music ever something they got like what do they go through or whatever

they're like the blind drunk yeah listening to like the default like the project starter template you know I remember there's one video that you guys like racing they're having a good time then the video just cuts and one of the cars on fire and someone's like climbing out of the window their skins melting off and they're fucking they're dying I mean there's burning and then it's like surrounded by Russian people being like yeah it's like telling them like get out of the car Jesus fucking she felt has melted him into the car completely he has no hope of escape

boobly be be a jibble yeah I saw a fucking Greek dash cam thing we're just like a fuck some dumb bitch driving and she hit a guy on a moped this fucking guy did like a full 360 spin landed on her car got up I was like you gotta fucking stop son you dumb bitch I would love that so much I don't rush by a vehicle like that and just getting to be a Russian dash cam video where like a guy in like a you go or something he like fucking loses control flips the car his baby comes out of the car window and he just gets up and picks the baby up oh man that kid is fucked they are soft for this they built to fall down have

you ever seen that video like the drunk Russian guy making his two sons fight and one son is like you know wimp and the other one's like yeah one of them's like a like this lean like MMA kid or whatever just like hard and rush kid he's beating the fuck out of his like wimp brother or something probably because it gets gay right right but the one doing all like the macho fighting is wearing a speedo because they're Russian yeah the other kid the other kid like you know eventually he to defend himself just grabs the kids nuts and it's just like holding on to them for dear life the kids like just screaming in pain and

the dad's just yelling at them in Russian he's like you know he's like you can't do that get him and he's like stretching them all the way out to here that's fucking genius dude I've been rocking with this video but like there's some rodeo thing where a bunch of dudes just get in the ring and like run around with an agitated bull and one guy's running away from the ball you never turn your back on it and he just gets launched at least 50 feet he does it triple back flip it helps right up it's like it's great because you get to fully root for the bull yeah for sure you hope they kill somebody the bull the

rodeo clowns bullfighters are our bitch ass yeah I don't fuck a bullfighter who rodeo clowns I respect I didn't realize that they could they murder the bull yeah eat that motherfucker they kill the fucking burgers off that yeah they have steaks yeah they have paella for for a long time off that bull I was when I was in France they the drip is cool I'll give them they were like outside of like a stadium where they were having a bullfight and we're like me and my girlfriend were having a sandwich and we were just like listening to an animal like suffering yeah it was really sad pretty whack yeah and then was sucked yeah he's all the bullfighting yeah what

a loser is a bitch ass now Hemingway huge did he get pussy well I read some literary criticism that says yes he did that's all right okay respect that's how we evaluate authors absolutely I think he might have been a closet a guy he seemed to be way into that stuff that was really into masking everyone is talking about masculinity is gay that's true yeah it's the gayest thing to be into a hundred percent to be into being a guy hunting and bullfighting and all that shit yeah yeah not me I'm over here trying to suck on a titty the sun also rises about it the guy who just gets cucked and then gets the shit beat out

of him by a bullfighter oh yeah that didn't have that other that he did that other cucked story about the guy of the lion or whatever he loves yeah yeah that was a short love getting cucked all penis on the western penis all penis on the western ass Nick is like Hemingway bops you're trying to live in Key West you got a bunch of cats no you're trying to you're trying to get in a lot this is what he does Adam will stay silent to the last minute of the show I haven't been silent I did some great read actually you're gay but try and throw salt at the end knowing that it's not worth it points on the board

around yeah I'm just like pushing my team made away for out of nowhere freaks like Hemingway you weren't fucking right I didn't know that one was sting so I guess I really really just pressed about this son of a bitch because a big blunderbuss that he puts in his ass yeah but facing out and then he fires it so the recoil yeah Hemingway Hemingway shot himself in the face well that's what that's more of a Gaston move which will end the episode there yes I am Gaston Adam is Bell no Adam's a little gay guy the clock I'm the dad I'm the dad's the gay clock