The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 292 – one more year

Episode Date: December 29, 2021

almost done fellas

Cunt welcome to the cunt the cunt show welcome to the thunder cunt. That's a good name. Yeah. Oh Fuck we got hard dick William Why dick will he big dick bill mad? Mad you've heard of Mad Max fury road. How about mad penis? fury Road fury road. That's also The original Mad Max, right mad penis mad penis. Yeah, there's thunder Under penis under penis or penis max penis max. Yeah, that's awesome. We should just do this

It's Christmas or whatever the fuck day it is right now It's Santa Claus day as it's known in Canada. I'll tell you right the fuck now. Yeah, I think it's not I think it's already been Christmas What's boxing day? I think it's a 29th. Does he put you in boxes? Yeah, what's that a holiday for fucking cats? You get a Canadian guy fucking sick They sit around a bunch of Canadians acting like a fucking feline womanly feline. That's right. This ain't ancient Oh, is that a cardboard box a yeah, I'll go in there and piss out of my vagina Let's steam come out of my vagina so people know who's boxing exactly and for boxing day You tape your little penis to the middle of your ballsack

So it looks like so it looks like a box and you piss down at town the middle like it's pussy cheeks Yeah, and I don't know if you know that they will I'm recording recording. Yeah, yeah, I Don't know if you've checked in on the show in a couple of years This is what we're at now. I don't know what you chapeau fellas But come down as a ball Anti-Canada check check check check check check check check check. Why can't I hear? I feel like I sound weird. Well, you sound good. Yeah, you sound hot dude. I sound hot I'm getting fucking horny. Check. Check. Check. I'm coming through with the Peroni. Yeah, my man sipping

Sorry, I'm a little late on this one, but Mad Max fury chode Too smart What do you mean, what do you want it rhymes to I'm scared. The rhyme's scaring me. Yeah, it's rhymes. You'll be choked Adam's drinking a Stella R word. No, Peroni. So our Penis Normally I don't drink imports, you know, normally I'm I'm made in America kind of guy. Yeah, but we'll make an exception Sometimes I make an exception. You're a macro brew lager Adam per own a man's penis

He owns it. He owns it. Yes, he does. He peruses the penis. I Peruse at the grocery store. Yes, sir. The trader penis Yes, I I he I've thought he prefers a sort of a hoppy I penis a yes, he does. Yeah, India penis In a major way. Yeah. Yeah, I have a new drink for you I've made for miles I send it to you. I've made you a no drink It's a sweet for sweetie girl. It is a penis there It is my new extra stout penis there. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Guinness penis. Yes

That's so true. Yeah penis stale life penis for your health and it's a parrot's perched on somebody's cock It's a little Guinness parrot I would love to have the main beer of It is guy because they are on some gay shit over there. I can't hire You can't hear yourself. No, it's just I sound kind of fuzzy. You sound regular in my headphones. All right. That's fine Hey, who cares? Is this the is just the last episode of the year of the year we're lurching towards the end Yeah, I always enjoy to be in the and with the come boys in the come house

That's right come together at the end of the year. Oh, you gotta come to all of these now. It's our second second year of doing This is our and there's no end in sight. Will. Yeah, we've decided we're gonna just start taking vacations Yeah, this podcast recording we wanted to 2022 to be the last year. Yeah, we're done We don't want to move on to literally nothing. Yeah, we just want to get a head start on quitting and yeah Slowly losing relevance. Yeah And uh, so we're gonna just do a lot of cabins Yeah, we blow all the money on vacations and then just I think it'd be really funny if the show's making like just doing dog Shit, no, yeah, that would be so awesome

like just No, and people are like, yeah, you should do they stop doing it and we've been there's like You guys should book passage to like Liverpool in the uk on like the queen mary. Yeah record a whole bunch of episodes Just about the week-long crossing of the Atlantic. Wow. That's how long it takes. Yeah Yeah, dude, who the fuck would go by boat? Well, no, I mean, it's like super luxurious. That's actually yeah Oh, yeah, it's like it's a coincidence. You're treating like royals. I was just I was talking about pirate ship several weeks ago You were oh, yeah, and I said in october We should have dueling or way. It was castles. That was it. Yeah, but that's like a pirate ship

It's a pirate ship that doesn't go anywhere. It's a pirate ship doesn't go anywhere. They're both types of legos Yes, yeah, that the best kinds of legos. Yeah, the The the castle I like this I like the spaceship legos a lot because you know, it's like that's sort of bro A lot of it's a lot of that shit's translucent. That's the little castle though The castle and the pirate ship are fucking awesome But when I think of legos, there's like a different type of guy Well, it was like that castle thing and there's Well, you could be thinking of playmobil

Maybe there's a playmobil castle as well castle was so fucking sick playmobil is gay because you don't make anything That's what they cook. Let me make sure let me make sure what I'm thinking is in the playmobil Because I'm about to be pissed off if it is Stop playmobiles for mentally retarded playmobil pirate. That's not just me saying that I think that was part of the brand It was like Scandinavian. They're like, oh, it's if you're slower It's a slower little boy who needs a He can't do the legos No, this isn't it. Well, maybe it is. I don't fucking know

Oh, hell yeah, no, that's the playmobil. Yeah, you're thinking of the gay and that shit is cool I'm not a fucking nerd that needs to do homework to have fun. What are you on homework? It's building. It's not building. Shit is homework It's a type of homework It's firing your imagination. It's it's male. That's why you have a female mind. I don't yeah It's a guy thing. I'm a man that enjoys pleasure and I don't want to fucking have to jump through hoops to get to it Yeah, the pleasure even as a youth. I knew that nagging at your boyfriend. No, it's not pleasurable If you had said suck it is gorgeous golden brown cock golden brown

Yeah, I had I've been thinking about this This is what lights here. He's latino. Here's stop No, not the girl one, you know, I didn't mean the girl one You know, I meant the one for guys I so I just searched playmobil with the images and that's what comes out first result This is fucked up. This is me. This is the media. Yeah, that stops phone too. It's all the answer No, it's not Yeah, that's nicks. Well, here's you on your little ladder

I can't see playing with your dolls. You're not even showing me In front of your face. No, I like the gray silver fucking boys one, dude And you know what? I don't even give a fuck because this happens to me all the time. I am exonerated by history No, no by the audience because right now we're in a little closed loop system, right? And it's just you motherfuckers and your opinions versus me, but I got the people behind you go like you go like running to them You're like they I can't believe what no, I'm just saying on a like math I was the only one who knew what the mean and the average was the castle the playmobil castle to stop It's not that one. I already said it's not that one. It's not the one for little girls

It's a princess castle It's so you can you can braid your hair and put it out the window and wait for a brave knight to climb up and rescue you You guys are full of dog shit right now. We found you didn't this is my Check this fucking awesome shit out and maybe he puts the playmobil guy up his ass I don't put the playmobil guy in my ass No, you would you would stick eight lego men together by their head to make a human centipede and put that up your ass See that's the kind of gay shit you can get up to with legos I don't even I don't I don't feel they need to play god on such a molecular level

I like to fucking move the guys around fight fight each other. I don't have to create them. Yeah, you know what I'm saying Yeah, so anyway, I just like to have a good time fight about what who has more boyfriends or no That's not a not at all. I think that I who's the most popular girl's childhood fans Okay, you just keep picking ones with girls that made her for girls And I'm not even sure it was playmobil, but I know there was a castle I used to fucking play with that was fucking sick of shit. Uh-huh Maybe it was playmobil playmobil girl. I never had playmobil. We're gonna search playmobil girl We'll be playmobil pirate. Hold on. Stop

Why didn't you have legos like every other boy? I had legos too, but uh, uh looks look look here more Stop, that's not it's so fucking weird. We have more of That's a doll fairyland. You're a fina. You're honestly misrepresenting me in a major way right now Did you play you played with girls? Stop stop got the greek immigrant american girl edition. Yeah, I did. It's also I got the name is andreca. Wow puffed marshmallow, man Actually, I did have the state of marshmallow man is again. Thank you. Well, you had it. Well. Yeah, the toy What was it was a good part of the ghost buster ghost buster is actually like squishy or what?

Uh, yeah, I was like I sort of like big, uh Yeah, I was came with the action figure, but it was a little yeah a little bit bigger. It had some squish to it That's cool. I think that's cool. Will Thank you. I do too. I'm gonna now we're gonna maybe my shit was fisher price Yeah Here we go. I put in gay toys and here's some more stuff. That's not shit that I'm interested in so I don't know What we're having this discussion gay toys is not a kind of thing. I don't know. You don't want you don't want this That looks good. Actually. What is that? I think this is an ejection off

Um, I don't know you put your cock in it ejection when it looks the auto blow the top 10 best gay sex toys and Why are gay guys like this? Yeah, why are gay guys anything gay about that? It just seems like a like I would like an auto blow too It's like a robot that will pull your dick. Why is that a gay guy? I think I'll auto blow because it makes it sound like You know like something that chrysler invented in 1947 Yeah, I think my shit was fisher price 1947 imperial Robert McNamara when he was an executive at Ford made the auto blow Air conditioned it was between the internal circulation and auto blow it sucks your dick. I'd be so fucking awesome

Oh, hey, e-line. How about you get on that shit? You're a fucking piece of shit on bus. He makes cars. It's suck your dick Yeah, and then I'd be behind them. Yeah, but not right now. He's a fucking bitch as far as I'm concerned Tesla tesla Tesla tesla Oh, but yeah, we're fucking We've had that we've had the full cabin experience. My body hurts. Yeah, I've had too much salt I've had yeah, my farts smell horrible Let me ask you something. What is your body hurt? Would you describe me as a smooth operator?

um In what instant in one situation? Yeah, I guess I'm just trying to figure out if that song's about me or not It's about you. Yeah, I was gonna say a song. Yeah, I think no, that's about my dick. No, I think it's about me I just remembered that the shot a song is about my dick Because you know how I'm uncircumcised it's smoother and it doesn't go back So I have a full smooth cock. Yeah, the whole cock is smooth. There's just a little bit of head at the top We said goodbye to you today. I was talking to him outside. He's like Yeah, thanks for having me. It was a great time and people love when I'm on. Yeah, he was saying that

He was like, I'm one of the favorites. Yeah I think we told him that I know recording. It's a problem. Yeah, you can't build the end up too much. Yeah Yeah, I remember thinking like uh, I was like Legos himself. Yeah, you build them up too much and then you know, you have to You have to put them up your ass Yeah, the fans are already aware that I I lost the game of battleship to him. Yeah, that's pathetic We didn't mention that we wanted to protect you. We got a lot of experience with sailors What a fucking boring game can you believe it like that was like entertaining us again? But there's got a lot of stuff there's a lot of in the 90s 80s 90s

They went crazy with board games and said a lot of equipment Yeah, but the games themselves sucked. They had sweet commercials. Don't wake daddy. It's just like, uh, Don't wake daddy was cool. It's like a really longer version of tic-tac-toe Like that's all it is And you just go back and forth and it's just it's essentially you're just guessing Yeah, it sucks. But they had sweet commercials. Yeah, the commercials were cool. It made it seem like you were Glowing shit up fighting the battle of midway or something like you just sunk the uss arizona The coolest commercial was the crossfire. Yeah, yeah cross fire. You'll get caught in the

Crossfire Interracial friends. I don't know. I have no idea what the game is or how it's like you shoot ball bearings at each other Gun Shoot a gun at your friend Crossfire. No, that song was fucking sick. Yeah Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I never played the game. Oh, here we go. Playmobile special plus for the extra retard That's not the kind of shit. I was into it's a horse. It's not playing a little black horse girl I already said I was a fish. I think I was a fisher price kid

And we're talking when I'm a little bit made by fisher press. I don't know I'm not I'm like keeping tabs on everything But the point is you can all three I was on the impression that playmobile was like scandinavian Oh, so I'm being fucking attacked yet again for being a fucking international guy. Yeah For being the kind of guy that makes a diplomat. What kind of being cultured. Yeah, I'm cultured What kind of toys were popular in greece like mud and stuff relax relax South africa would you have uh South africa is all just wire sculptures of like a guy playing soccer or motorcycle. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool

Yeah, but we do have some of those wire sculptures. I know you do. Yeah, I got my finger on the pulse Yeah I had a wire motorcycle that my grandma brought me and don't you ever fucking disrespect me and blunt me with albania Oh, yeah, that's the kind of shit toys they had. Oh, that's what I already told you motherfuckers I had the electric shit that got stolen. Oh, yeah, I had a better toy than all of you fuckers Maybe not will you ever have the electric car? No, he's your city kid though. He's yeah, I was nowhere to park it Yeah, he's he's hallucinated. We have a motorized wheelchair. I was fucking five years old I wasn't fat until we've been over this and it wasn't fat

And he didn't understand that the breathing tube wasn't as strong. I don't need I don't need to breathe now Why would I have needed one when I was five? You don't need a breathing? No, I'm breathing right now in your room right now and I can get the breathing machine That's at night when I drive my fucking car. I'm wide awake. I don't need a fucking thing to wear your c-pap in the car Yeah, we're driving just in case like those off Um, and I was very healthy as a youth. Thank you very much. I was a cute. I was a cute little picture of health But you know, yeah every child is their children. I know Unless they're sick kid

Unless they have cancer or something. Yeah, and those kids don't count Yeah, they shouldn't make toys for those kids. Yeah, they don't get toys. Yeah, they're kind of souring my friend Nate Well, they're already meeting like, you know musicians and basketball players My friend they're fucking porn stars. Remember the bat kid. You're getting Lisa Ann's tits run to their face. It'll be awesome The make-a-wish is the is the coolest thing in the world. Remember the bat kid. Remember when that was how things went? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna treat it. I can like Batman or something. I guarantee you if bat kid happened now people would be like Oh, because he's white Yeah, maybe that's right. Nick. Well, what do we what do his tweets look like? Yeah, well, let's go. Let's find the back

It's old tweets But the back is got it He's got a tick thug where he calls the joker the n-word And it's like he's got to go bat kid five years later Miles Scott is cancer-free. Oh, hell. Mother fuck There's a liar is what they're saying. This is a Ferris Bueller situation. He got the whole city to throw a parade for him Yeah, my friend Nate Um had when he was a little kid. He had ball cancer. They chopped the shit off Lance Armstrong. He had that as a kid

Yeah, wow from dosing. Yeah, he was ripped He was ripped as a little fucking chubby Jew 10 year old But yeah, and he asked for like he was like I won't he was like do you want to make a way like what do you want? You're making wish to be And he was like, can I just get like a full recording studio? And they literally beats they literally he played guitar. They get him a sick new guitar And they got him like a little recording studio in his parents basement. Wow. I hear about recording like private recording studio

The thing about do you remember in Gawker like profile that guy on death row? like 10 years ago and he was like, you know He's like I'm a human being they like humanized this guy on death row and uh Everyone was like calling for his like his case to be looked at. Oh, yeah And then only after I wonder where this is going only after they published the thing like the brother of the guy He like viciously murdered was like, yeah Yeah, my my brother was letting him like record music for free in his studio and when they slit my brother's throat Jesus Christ stole speakers out of the goddamn out of the recording studio. Well, I had to be like, wow

Maybe some of the people on death row are bad You believe in the death penalty No, I don't at all But you also shouldn't like the argument against the death penalty isn't that everyone on death row is innocent It's that it's fucking barbaric. Yeah. Yeah, but they were we're making that argument. They were just saying he's a good guy Yeah, but I even then it's you the problem is you run into exactly that trap Right, you shouldn't look at the fucking crimes at all. You should say on principle. You shouldn't fucking execute anybody. Yeah, right That's true because there's always gonna there's always going to be an incident somebody will come up with a crime

That on an emotional level will justify the death penalty So you can't you just have to just be convicted about it and say no death penalty. That's yeah, yeah same. I agree dude I'm for it. Let me do it. Let's go on Really? Let me go to texas Just fucking shoot a bunch of guys that can't read in the head Yeah, texas really good Shoot a bunch of guys that got they were like, you talk see that I see personally. I'm against the death penalty Unless I would choose any crime. I would want the death penalty

by firing I opened somebody's mail Fucking against the wall. I would love that as long as they still do the cigarette. Yeah Would you go with a blindfold or just a cigarette blindfold for sure? You gotta go blindfold and you gotta go do it. You motherfuckers do it. What are you waiting for? Do it. Take the shot. Take the shot. Take the shot And then they all shoot and they miss or did you just scream? I'm gay. I'm gay. Yeah. What if you said a really funny joke? You know, make him crack up like crack up

Or like tim allen. Oh, apparently that's how you You gotta all right. Yeah, how he avoided rape in prison is by doing elmer fud impressions Apparently is the funniest kind that's awesome, which I only read on a forum like it sounds right run with it. Yeah Yeah, you know what I read on a forum. No, you didn't I didn't whatever whatever you're about to say you didn't Well, it's your first no, what I wrote on a forum is that um, you should buy Either dick pills. Oh, yeah, you're absolutely right. But that's more that's more of a 15 seconds from now. Oh, I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm just trying to keep us in line, you know Um, uh, and I also read your dick was small by the way

The beep of truth. No, we just had it installed everyone It's different than the n-word beep a truth detector the beep of truth Actually, no, we have another 10 minutes. Really? This is a very rare instance in which We only have one friend this week the one friend that I read about on a forum. Yeah, that's all right We got hard dick William check this smooth operator. I'm not a you are smooth and I'm a pretty smooth guy myself Yeah, you look like a four-year-old girl. Yeah, I don't have I don't naturally produce some

Chest hair other than a couple strays around you look like an otter dude. What do you mean an otter? If I had to fuck a guy would look like it would be hairless like you. Thanks Your face is really ruining it for me. Why? Maybe we could cut your head off. Your body's not bad. I got a little glimpse of your stomach. I'm like, okay Yeah, I haven't but your your face is tough. Thanks. It's a little bit of hair that's on your face I just some of that. It's really turning me off Big time what if you had a cuter face and you were in some eyeliner if I could change something about my face like I would say overhaul

Like what I would say soup to nuts except you keep that bottom lip. You know I'm saying. Thanks, dude I'll bust on that, but maybe they just get fillers fillers on the top just to match up fillers on the top fillers underneath your eyes For sure. We've been over this your shit is too. So I'm gonna look like With glasses off this man looks horrible Then shape I would say cheekbone feminization. Yeah, shame it down a little bit more angular face. Yeah, I mean obviously Do I have to say it? What the nose? No job, of course We're getting too pussy

How small should I be? You know what I like a woman with a big nose, but I need it yours is too wide so I would sharpen it I would just give it sort of like a sort of a Michelle Pfeiffer like the bridge. I would show I would I would I would make the width The bridge a little fucking smaller like a little point across You're saying like a little pointier nose like that is fat the bottom the bulb the bottom is too bulbous Bridge of guys But other than that man, he meets with Gary Oldman on a bridge at night and we get you we get you on See that movie knows Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Yeah, it's a good movie

Yeah, do you guys agree with what I said about ams face? Yeah, they're fucking yeah And we got to get you on e for sure on e I would love to be on the channel Yeah, just doing the celebrity news. Yeah and color contacts. Yeah color contacts Dude, I have green eyes. I they they remind me of you too much So when I'm face fucking so what do you want like I don't want to like I don't want to glimpse into the old west Borland from limp biscuit like black eyes. Yeah, just full black eyes Black eyes. You're my little fuck robot

My fuck little my little they them fuck otter that I just absolutely fuck your mouth to smithereens To smithereens. Yeah, fuck the Sunder To get my mouth Oh, my that's what you get for taking your hoodie off You looked hot dude. It's not my fault. I'm just we've been in the cabin. You've been in the cabin. You know what I'm saying It's funny when you started I said, how long would you have to be in jail before you fuck the guy? Yeah, it's been and you said, I don't know. It's been a while. It would have to be a while Yeah, you've been in the cabin long enough that like uh, it's not as like normally one of those guys

We were in the cabin. It was being around Ian for four hours It's true Uh, you were one of those guys like uh, Adams in the life boat and he starts looking like a like a big turkey leg or a big hamburger, but he's looking like a little like cat girl to you Little ears guys and ears on Blackout contacts Blackout contacts tights in a made uniform Yeah, hell yeah

He's trying to get his twitch channel off the ground. He's sitting in a fucking uh In an inflatable pool in his in his like in den twitch streaming. Yeah talking about socialism Yeah, hell yeah, well you should you should turn into like an aesthetic twitch streamer Like Hassan. Yeah, well your own thing. I'll have to go sign up at the cia first, right? That's true Like he's an asset just like Hassan did speaking of assets. How good was that? We just ran through the born trilogy Yeah, it was a real. Stop it. Stop and I Stop and I watched all three of the me adam and i see niggas Venusy niggas in the mix for the first one and a half, weren't you? Yeah, I watched the first one in its entirety

Yeah, yeah, they're really good movies went for dinner Came back with a ribeye ribeye for the house. Thank you my friend some more truffle fries Yeah, my stomach feels horrific. I'm good. I've been shitting in the mean case of horrendous stuff. I want to kill myself Yeah, stop you're coming an asset though. I'm becoming a project black black black black briar black briar Yeah, I didn't see by the way. I didn't see a single plus-size asset No, or the born fucking the born family of Lizzo is And uh and little nozzaks for sure for he is for sure

Yeah, he's he is part of the conspiracy to make all the gay jewish mafia make all black man gay And we unfortunately guys we wanted to watch buck breaking that the jews are Created of course to else to emasculate. I watched a really really good documentary in high school one of my friends sent me a a facebook video where It made in that look it didn't outright accuse anyone of anything But it made some interesting connection to missing black children

and jewish people that own mcdonald's What they say Well, maybe like the jewish people that own mcdonald's you mean like a franchise It's not ray kron We're just look a lot of missing black children and then a lot of really cheap mcnuggets They blame it on the fucking irish with that clown. That's right That's right. Yeah in the name. So just think twice when you have a mcchicken You you don't know who's serving it. Well, what that is there's a human meat. Oh, that's oh, that's the that's the theory

Oh, I thought they were attracting kids with their good prices and no, no, they were snatching up black children grinding them down into pink So it's kind of a blood libel. Exactly. Yeah The documentary is called the dollar Yeah, my friend my friend I don't want to say his name, but he has some interesting He has some interesting newbie in philosophies I love that. I love that shit, dude. He's the best. Yeah, because it's real creativity. Yeah, that's pure art He also he was really conspiracy. He was really skinny and he had a uh

He had a girlfriend who number once he would just like walk around showing people him getting his dicks like But then he had to go for that. Was that one of his other documentaries? Yeah, yeah The truth check out this documentary The truth about have I gotten my dick sucked or not he would he he claimed to and his girlfriend She corroborated this that he would do the scarecrow one of his favorite sex moves Because he was about he was a very drug her. No, no, he was put a transpire on his head. She was very sturdy She's a very sturdy gal. She's solid. She's very solid and bitch syndrome

He's deaf. Certainly you could say that and he was about literally 110 pounds and but and he would get on her shoulders And fuck her mouth like he would be sitting from the front The hr geiger and they were just scared that is so romantic I can't think of something more that we already did that though the gay face hugger an alien richest a pair of legs This is a real. Yeah, that's great. This is a real. I'm reporting. This is what he's doing a documentary of his high school I'm doing a report top reportage on the sex lives of the students at Baltimore Polytechnic You're blowing the whistle around circa 2008. Yeah You know I'm saying you're putting yourself at risk. I'm sorry 2006. Yeah, they're gonna kill you dude. I'm fine

I don't give a fuck dude. Yeah, but he's a journalist call me julian from motherfucking assange, dude Yeah, I'd like to get pussy from Pamela Anderson I Was living in the Ecuadorian ambassador the embassy because he said some kitty went to high school Did the dirty Sanchez scarecrow? Thank you very much But no one ever did the dirty Sanchez. That's one of those fake ones for sure. Oh, but whereas the scarecrow is scarecrow I believe I believe so, uh, what was he holding on to? How was he getting attracted to a tremendous amount of balance? I think pull-up bar. He did a lot of pull-ups

But he was holding on to a pull-up. He's holding on to a pull-up bar. I yeah, I'm gonna assume so Look, I believe this guy. Okay, believe men and I believe I believe my friend. I won't say his name Who claimed to do the scarecrow? Uh-huh. He he was a wild boy. It's from growing up I met him, you know from high school from high school. Yeah Yeah, and just before again This is also the friend that thinks that uh, mcdonald's is abducting black children and turning them into mcduggets Well, he just pointed he just well when they remember when they switched to all Yeah, that's right. They never told you what they were switching from. That's true. That's true

I'm just saying I seem to remember a rumor Like arizona st was meant to sterilize black people. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think it just is doing it. It's delicious I love that shit. I mean, they were like 99 cents and they were like more sugar than you could possibly Oh, yeah, you can see One of those and handicaps hot fries Yeah, a couple fucking shark Shark gummies. You ever fuck with those? No, you're good The fucking grocery store the corner store around me would just like get just break open family value packs. Did you sell those?

Oh, you know what i'm saying? Nice. Yeah loose Loosey sell looseies of gummies for sure. We just get like a loosey fruit snack. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. You're 10 cents gonna have a gummy bear. I came in a little pack The guy got choked out by the nypd for doing that. Yeah, he did for selling those I do think that place was a was a crack front Really all bodegas are yeah, yeah, especially in boltonmore But anyway, fuck my head is killing me dude. Is it I've had the right amount of sodium this week Yeah, I'll tell you that much. I'm glad the eating is over. Yeah. Yeah

We got three more days, but I'm gonna take it. I can't do that. Yeah. Yeah, maybe go to the goat farm tomorrow Goat farm. I mean you guys want we go before you drive before we drive back. Yeah Can you touch the goats? Uh, I think like sometimes they get close enough you can pat them on the head But they're they're behind a semi-electrified fence, but there's a lot. What's a semi-electrified? Well, I mean you can It's electrified. So it won't kill you, but it'll give you a little bit. It'll give you a semi-jolt There's something for everybody You got goats for Adam to have sex with

Goats for stop the eat. I would love to grow a grill up a goat. You guys ever had goat? Yeah, it's um, you gotta gotta cook slow and low. You know, it's a bit. It can be very tough Yeah, I I don't like you know what makes it easier to fucking go to is kratom from I heard about that superleaf.com. I heard I heard that kratom is a uh, uh, a stimulant Uh, narcotic plant from the arabian southeast asian arabian peninsula, which is yep Which is technically southeast asia depending on where you start measuring some people say, yeah I count it if I go asia and then I go southeast Yeah, you gotta put a little

You can get there if you go to the furthest east part or you go first west Western part asia. Yeah, and then you go southeast from there You're in the arabian peninsula nice That's a cool name the arabian peninsula. It's got penis. It's got arab in there in there arab strong Yeah, that's a great word. These are two of my favorite words Arab money, which you can get it super get superleaf.com. So the url is brought to you by adam And adam, why don't you go ahead and tell the folks a little at home a little bit about this awesome product

Kratom is a is a leaf is a gift from jaw that gives your whole body energy But for some people it's like coffee and or g And word g. Yep. Uh, but for some people it's like Yes, sir, it's like coffee. How's that for a fucking joke? That's pretty good. Yeah, does anyone ever thought of that? That's really good. That's the stuff you got to tune in for Uh, but for some people it's like coffee for your cock or vagina Really? That's what it's like pouring boiling hot coffee all over your Cocker, okay

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It's a cousin of coffee. I don't call it covered. I call it influenza a coffee in comparison. This crap is just brown water That's fucking cool, dude It comes in a tea a powder and capsules that you could put anywhere and they have another thing You can put them in your pocket your backpack in your suitcase. We'll take our sweet ass time What about your great fur on the go? What about your koolo? You could put them right up your koolo. Do a little miami miami blizzard I love which is I don't know. Have you heard the story that scott scott? We're talking about a make-a-wish kids. I was in the one who had a well actually wasn't the make-a-wish kid

It was the uh, oh the recording studio. He was a make-a-wish kid. Okay. Yeah I would if I was a make-a-wish kid my wish would be to make a beat with scott storage. Yes me too I would I would but my wish would be to Fly to miami. Have him pick me up on a yacht Apparently he used to like go to tji fridays on his yacht like it would he would be his primary mode of locomotion That's so sick. Yeah, go on the lot make a beat with him and then do a miami Blizzard which is a thing where he used to Line up 10 porn stars in a row and have them expose their

Um genitalia and anuses. Okay, and then blow Cocaine or ecstasy and it sounds like tmi fridays. Yeah Did you say tji fridays? I think I said tji fridays. I was barely paying attention Wait, what happens at this at the end of this he he um, he said there was an incredibly famous female singer on his boat once And she said he said you want to do coke and she says I don't do it in my nose. I do it in my kulo awesome And so then him and his boys started doing this thing called the miami blizzard where they would blow drugs into a into a

Miami blizzards were just nine guys that hold one guy down and they all come in his ass No, I think it's a straight I think it's more a straight thing back to his husband They turn him upside down and the cum stays out. No, I think this is a straighter to show to show Like it's a dairy. No, that's the that's the Miami snow globe, but they show shake them up after they come rattles around Um, yeah, Dairy Queen blizzard Stop knows what I'm talking about. I got your brother. I'm right. I'm here for you. Yeah I used to get when I worked at Dairy Queen I would get yelled at for not turning the blizzard upside down by customers. It is cool that

What do you want? I'm on oxycard. I want they turn it upside down and I would have been pissed The spoon isn't like excuse me. I believe there's a final part to the there's a fact That guy yelled at me because we used to have like dollar cone day on monday I said fucking dollar for a shitty salsa ice cream cone And the guy was like, can I get the dollar cone? And I gave it to him and then he's like staring at me for a second He's like, you know, I really don't have to patronize this business and I wouldn't tell you to say like Yeah, you do thank you. You really do

You're buying ice cream for a dollar. You definitely you definitely do need to patronize That's for some dumbass teenager places owned by weird chinese guys. They're like you can't complain to them Those are the guys that would say your name with an a at the end. They would They would say my name is like oh nika you live for work and I was like What did you call me excuse me? Yeah, yeah, it just cultural differences often cause hilarious mix ups Which you can find out more about it. Yeah, but you can find out more at get superleaf.com slash come town Listen, everyone's got residual covet blues and super speciosa can pull you out of your rut And it says give us an example

Well, do we have any examples of being pulled out of? Yeah, I was in a pretty bad mood I did a bunch of blow which is like Yeah, I guess and then I felt okay for maybe an hour or two. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's happening And then I then I felt pretty bad and guess what I needed to go to sleep creative creative. Yeah, that's awesome Anyway, super special to help you live with yourself. Yeah, the creative is at least you'll help you get through a couple hours Yeah, yeah, we can't make a long-term promise and then you go back and revisit the demons and then take more creative But here's the here's the folk. I mean if it's a good enough folks If it's the drug of choice of people that are either sold into gender-bending sex slavery or forced kickbox for a living

Right, then it's gotta be good enough for you. Absolutely. Some fucking loser that lives in their parents It's not getting pussy at all. Yes. Here's the thing Your life is somehow not as bad as there is even though you tried right you tried A guy's a guy whose hands are permanently fists from being forced into combat sports age three If that's what he chooses, yeah Then I guarantee you and it can help you deal with the pain of not having more than uh, 50 twitch streamers Try having the aches in faith when you've had baseball bats broken over your shins your week straight So here's the deal guys

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The Peabody Awards we got a can and we got a macarthur genius. We're actually we're actually in the the the latest vulture roundup of Podcasts you have to listen. Yeah, right. It's us two raped girls. Yep. Um fat hour Which I'm also on by the way, that's my spin. I was getting a lot of burn these days Yeah Africans watching sign That is crazy because I didn't know why would George do this? I would love George he comes in he'll fuck them he complains He complains about his life

And then it is up to grandma to come in and very excited and restore the energy of jerry's apartment Yeah, it's true. I would love that That's hilarious. I would fuck Elaine. I wouldn't have sex with her to be honest with you Elaine could get it Um, I want to say real fast folks. Please come see me. Do you stand up comedy? The prince of pleasure tour the pleasure continues in 2022. We're coming to san diego. We're coming to fucking Vancouver, we're coming to austin Dallas and before just so that uh Also, we're still talking about

Uh, super league, we're still yeah, we've taken a little break to do my breaks I know but just in case someone's listening because i'm not gonna do it. Oh, yeah, there's another thing We have to say well, let me just real quick also just say, you know, like I said Vancouver, fricking san diego, uh, austin, chicago, dallas Where the fuck else am I going san francisco sacramento look up stabby.biz slash tour I don't know exactly the exact dates, but it's coming baby. So I'd love to see there san francisco I think I said that in the oscar mayer penis mobile I will be taking the oscar mayer penis mobile across country. I want I want one of those so bad

Yeah, you can make it happen, bro That when this good becomes a vacation podcast, we got to get we got a rent one last year We did the cabin and while we were there and these motherfuckers They told me not to do it because I would have done it. I found a john madden bus for sailing yorkers Really? Yeah, and I was gonna buy we're gonna Convert $5,000 $5,000 for a john madden bus for the same type of bus Not as fully decked out with his like, you know, But I could do all that

The simpsons rebuilt fucking flanders his house on Sparks and tiny rooms That was uh, yeah, we were looking into for a while getting a space in a lot that had an Electric hookup the weird so that we could exclusively record the podcast On the bus and then when we wanted to go on the road we take we take and then we and then we kind of like yeah We'd write about the marfa video too. That'd be fun. Yeah, it's been a it's been a week out marfa Do the next nine years of this show? Marfa texas marfa. Yeah, all right

How about you bar for all over my dick and balls? Because you're deep through I would I would barf all over your dick and balls because it'd be so disgusting Is it diet smoke dot com? Yeah, you want also go to diet smoke? It's not calm. They smell they smell they sell they sell basically marijuana No for hosts feel free to riff the introduction the message We're trying to convey is that sometimes you can't or don't always want to get super high diet smoke delivers a balanced medium high Oh, it's mids. This is mid. I've been saying this for a while. Yeah. Oh, that's very exciting Time to smoke mids again. I would love mids are back in a big way

You can't find our product is a highly functional thc that comes in a form of a delicious gummy So these are okay. So these are these are you don't know you don't have to you don't have to smoke it out of a coke can anymore Yeah, no, baby. You don't have to make an apple. You don't have to do shit So get that diet smoke and get that super specific What exactly is delta 8 delta 8 is simply a slightly less a cold shower less potent I think I'm being too much dude. You gotta get a cold shower. I love I'm telling you You think you're gonna have like a like where you feeling it your chest. I'm yeah, probably Just kind of your in your ass

My ass my ass is bubbling up. No, I need to I'm I'm getting the meat sweats Can't you see the thing? I wasn't gonna have any more food today and then they come back I'm a beautiful friend. Nick comes back with a ride. I never know what what's enabling and what is you know, dude You're all good this week. That's fine, dude. This is a week of pure debauchery I saw that ribeye and I said there's only one guy in the world that get ribeye You know, we're this is kind of like a band, you know, we're like going to record the album Right, we're going to hear stories about like, you know like that exile on main street So is it with the south of france or south of france because they were in trouble for tax stuff

What do you think of this will we were thinking maybe in new york? We started getting like luxury suites in awesome hotels Yeah, and just recording like 12 episodes of the day like a place just getting fucked up a place where like Weinstein would meet and friends just come in and out record an hour What I really need is to take over the hosting duties for wheel of fortune Yeah, absolutely because I said we've got to do a wheel of fortune style But what I want is just because you know how that guy does it But pat sejak pat sejak they do all wheel of fortune and like for the entire year

Like in a very short amount of time right six weeks. Wow, then he fucks off I would I would suck cock for that schedule. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and then he just goes back to twitter and Let me call it wheel time with bill mar That's an awesome ancient name Yeah, he bill mar's van are white You can see his tits a little bit No, but um, okay. What were we talking about? I forgot

Anyway, so uh, the born movies. Oh really good. Really good shit. Oh, yeah, nick. You weren't here yesterday, but uh, I guess I was No, when Ian was asking us to watch this Michael Brown documentary. It was awesome. He was like, yeah guys It's yeah, it's a really sad story. He's like, no, he's like it's really interesting like it was made by diet smoke.com promo Diet smoke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we don't have to We don't have to get into that. Oh, that's cool. Whatever that sound is What the fuck? That's awesome That's fucking sick

What is that I don't know it's the fuck but I like it Dude, there's a fucking ghost in this house. There is there is a ghost in this house I wasn't I wasn't on board But you know when I saw the flag taken down and rolled up outside of the house and there's a weird knock on the door Six lights outside Maybe it was one of the cows from across the street That's probably what that was just me coming by to see what you guys are up to It was methane from the cows. Yeah, I'm scared

Let's see you guys are watching all the boring movies. Why are you scared to go? I'm scared to get to the bottom of that. I don't know. It might do something malicious towards me. Why would the woman be malicious? I don't know kill me. Why would it do bodily harm do ghosts kill people ever even in harm? They sort of scare them. They just yeah, they're like, I don't like being scared Sort of uh, you know Represents sort of reflection of trauma and repress memories and those like that they do like a Like a gaslighting, you know, they drive you nuts. They make you kill yourself. Okay. Yeah It's interesting. It's like having a boyfriend, I guess. So, uh, yeah, yeah, but I don't even get any cock

You guys are watching the the born movies today. I tried to entreat you to come over to my house. I'm sorry I was I was well, uh, you if you I unloaded half a quart of firewood And then move them again because I put them in a place. My mom was like, no, you put them in the wrong place So that's a good workout though. You made dinner for me. I made dinner for my mom and I helped over the storm windows as well So I don't know this. I don't know this comes out of chat, but will is the best cook. I know He's a great cook out of the five people. I know. Yeah, he's he got busy with a little And here's the thing. I told you this off Mike, but when I meet your mother, I want to be in a nice sweater I want to be feeling good. Yeah, you know, I want to be the kind of guy where you stop

Stop's been in latex body paint the entire time. Yeah I mean you haven't met her one time before but you were in sort of like a track suit But it was you know, I'm saying a real a real sit-down formal affair. I want to have you know, you know, I'm just I want to be I want to be a good guest. You need to seek permission to court, you know, exactly proper channels And we've talked about this Worst case scenario. I'll be your step dad. Well, like I said, like it's not wrong. You know, sort of a best case Best scenario for me is I've been raised. I'm financially independent. It's like you can tell me to do anything Well, I would I would discipline you

Yeah, I would discipline you for sure. I'm very good. I'm a very good son. You are a good boss. I would just thank you Oh, is that a promise? Is that a threat or a promise? Yeah And I did a I watched a bunch of Star Trek the next generation. Oh Okay, so we got the one where uh bar clay is afraid Where the walls were blown out I don't reference you guys Adam's ass where the walls were blown out. I said Star Wars came up a baby star Stop his ass open. Yeah

Stop his ass open Adam's ass where the walls were blown out. It was the one where what does it mean? When we're bar clay is afraid of being teleported and there are like worms in the transporter buffer And then there's one we're like, uh, diana troi. Uh, it's like she uh There's some diplomat that she's into and then like he like mind fucks her and makes her into an old woman or something Whoa, that's fucked up You can't fucking wrinkle that tear It's the best. Yeah. Yeah, it's gives you that that that the warm feeling whenever I put it on

For anyone that's confused because you're drunk Because you're drunk out of your mind I would never adulterate the Star Trek experience with alcohol even the just the set design It's pulling with the Kratom or Delta. Oh, we're done. Okay. We're done You know, they got in Sar Trek. They have the Cardassians, right? Yeah, the Kardashians and I don't know if you heard this, but um You know, it's late December But recent news is that p. Davidson is now dating Kim Kardashian now. They're engaged by this point. They'll be engaged They're probably engaged at this point. Cardassians are only on deep space, right?

They're referenced on next generation or seen maybe once your choice. They don't become a big Big part of the year. Is there a new Star Trek? Yeah, there's there. Well, there's a couple new Star Trek. I didn't look hard in Star Trek. I didn't watch a single episode of the Scott Baccala one. No, I mean either. I've never seen Enterprise. Yeah Enterprise it's rental cars surprise Star Trek prize is the Deep Space

Wow, deep space nine. Why would they name it that deep space? It's such a fucked up name and who can forget star? The generation I don't know about all those games. How about deep? Yeah, that's good. Let's see or instead of deep space nine, it's It's I love this the beef the beef is great. It's nice that it works as the beep of truth as well Yeah, which it did earlier in this episode. It'll not never I just have very simple things in life Yeah, one of them being this bottom. You're great. Can I can I test the the beep of truth?

Yeah, yeah, stop played with dolls as a child Oh Looks like it needs to be calibrated Yeah, it's new. It's fucked up technology. Actually, I'm actually reading the manual. It can only be truthful once per episode So it already used it up once with Nick. It doesn't prove anything. It does prove it. No, that just means only the first time I'm reading the manual It's only truthful the first time once per episode. Stav knows how to read. I have a question. Well, it's off the fritz now Now you have to pick which one is true. I said it was the first one. No

I said it was the foot. You don't know how to read. I have a question. This might be. I don't know. No, hold on I got him there. That's checkmate. You don't have me in shit. I read the manual I can tell you I said only the first one and then only the first one in the Beep of Truth Per episode is guaranteed to be right. So you don't know how to read that Guaranteed to be right. Some of the other ones might be right. No, you don't know how to read. I do know how to read I'm read. I'm the one with a man in him from Chappell If you wish this is a kind of behavior you have him on everybody loves him But he's just abusing us with lies. I'm doing logic. That's the thing that you let me go on Chapo now

I learned no, but it's true. You're gonna have him on okay You're gonna have him on your show. You should know that he's toxic. Yeah I go on Chapo and I learned stuff and I come back here He's being you guys with logic and facts like Ben Shapiro Stop stop is a freaking boomer. What is Ben Shapiro doing now? I've been he hasn't had a controversy He's getting head. He's fucking his sister. He's doing the scarecrow. I love to fuck Yeah, I bet you I've been doing the scarecrow to my sister Turning me straight. His sister is married to like

Man I've ever seen in my life. I want to save Abbey. I want to be like listen. I'm a slightly less gay Jewish man I don't you I dated a girl that a deaf sister that was married to a gay guy says you couldn't hear his voice The perfect He's like He's a fucking genius the perfect beard. He's a genius and everyone's signing like I love this. This is gay. Yeah, you guys can guess what it was But yeah, I'm gonna say it was like a YouTube video It was it was like Abbey and her husband review movies from their little their little family dead

And the movie they're reviewing was Jackie Brown nice movie. I love that I want to guess whether they gave it a positive or a negative review. I was like, yeah, her husband was like he was just like I didn't get it. It was where Yeah, he wasn't even Attract the max cherry. Mm-hmm. He was hot. Yeah. Yeah. Do you saw that the Ben Shapiro tweet where he said there was Unprompted he said boy meets world. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, it's pretty cool. That is awesome. I wonder why Mm-hmm. Once again history bends to our will. That's right He got molested you got molested by me. Did you know this way? No, what we haven't covered that story

We broke the story. Yeah adventure heroes a young boy He was he would do the homework from boy meets world. It was a sign. He wanted to meet mr. Phoenix and he would send it into the show and They thought he was such a super fan. He went in and he was raped by mr. Phoenix. Yeah, everyone allegedly well, yeah, allegedly, but you know, yeah, let's just say Source close to the principles. Yeah It's pretty good pretty good way to put it. Yeah, see you got me watching born You got me fucking going on chat. I'm too smart for you two motherfuckers

That's why I love all this anti-vaccine stuff because that is a smart movie concentrate on that too much You see the different the different types of plans that people have how's and how Jason is one step How sick would it be to like have like a like a like a little box that you could open up? That's just got $50,000 in it and like six passports. Oh, yeah Handgun with a silencer. That sounds like the cool. That's like you just like it at like random bank like that's what Is all over the world Have is those like Instagram services for men that have like a little jigger and like a

This should just be a thing every month you get like six different passports Fucking thumb drive with like crypto on it I Announce of cocaine And a list of names You could just never be Jason you can't even be a homicide detective, but everybody kind of wants to do that for a week Yeah, we should abolish the police job. Yeah, I'm sure but well week. What if you're okay? Yeah, we can be. Oh my god. If you were Harry Bosch

You know what I mean? Yeah, but not everyone not everyone has the ability to put justice first above I mean for victims that like have been forgotten about but I'm gonna have to watch Bosch So my day off watching television again. I love I'm getting angry Yeah, I used to watch the view that's awesome Nick used to start the day off like my grandma used to keep you in shape Yeah, Wendy Williams. I've never watched a full episode. Wendy Williams is great. Yeah She's just a piece of shit. It wasn't they were like, uh, like she like announced to her audience that one of her Instagram haters just died She had a stroke live on TV and she kept going for anybody else that would be like a come to Jesus, you know, right? She was like change your ways and stop being a bitch. I don't know. Yeah, the next day. She's shitting on you know

She's like we all looks fucking fat, doesn't she if stop had a stroke on the show We just like the next day just do the show That would make a show better. You understand any sign to get out. I'm taking Stroke if I anything bad even sort of happens Yeah, a ghost haunts the ghost guys after that ghost scared me so much. I had to quit the show. Yeah Stroke I'm gone for sure. Let's open door policy when you're on disability. Come on. Choppa Listeners fucking love you man. They'll even more when your voice is sort of funny exactly Oh, when I got my yeah, I'll be talking when you sound like the guy from the Simpsons. No, you're gonna sound like

Julia, which guy from the Simpsons. Oh, yeah, that guy Yeah, yeah, I had a stroke I started doing keeping up appearances. It's the best show of all time. It's really it's my it was like my family show We'd watch it. Well, are you are you appearances? I'm not Watching I got the whole thing on DVD. I have a I have it because I share an Amazon with my dad He's on my Amazon. He was watching some high high subscribe subscribe to Thing called Brit box for him. So yeah, it's a it's a Britcom, right?

Yeah, I sit bucket is like one of the like a television character in the tier of like Archie Bonner Yeah, yeah, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she's like one of the yeah one of the yeah some of the best She's just a delusional like psycho. She's she's amazing Patricia Rutledge is hyacinth, but I don't I don't know what I don't recognize It's this woman from like she she's from like a working-class family and her whole life is devoted to like putting on airs and graces Yeah, I guess her last name is bucket and she like oh, but she picks up the phone like the book. Yeah, she's just a bitch She's just like a bitch to everybody. Yeah She's not just like she's got white trash like a brother-in-law. She hates Yeah, she's always like berating her husband for like like stretching his legs too far

Yeah, she's just a real real battle ax fully abusive to her husband. Yeah, but it's it's really well done. Yeah, it's from the era of like Faulty towers a faulty towers one of my favorite shows It's better than fault because faulty I'm keeping up appearances. She's come on before faulty towers and as a kid I would watch keeping up appearances Faulty towers one or like a mall. Yeah, it's a good. No, no, no faulty towers. It's a bed and breakfast. It's a hotel Are you being served that one? I used to fuck with that faulty towers faulty towers is a John Cleese and it's like, you know They made like two series only about 12 episodes. Yeah, it's pretty funny It was one of like one of my favorite shows. I don't think I've ever actually seen that he runs

He runs the world's shittiest bed. Yeah, he runs like a world's shittiest hotel and they're all these like doddering British It's like it's just like he's a constant. He's he owns the hotel and it's just like he's a constant war with his guests Yeah, we're just like that go winding him up or he's winding them up and like he just hates everyone in this business I don't want to do I want to have a show that's about producing and doing the world's shittiest podcast Yeah, we quit this and then we do that. Yeah, we do that. We just have to show all the play all the characters That would be that would actually be like this show has kind of been like a springtime for Hitler kind of oh It's a hundred percent the producers. Yeah Hitler. Yeah, you're having me on you know, so yeah, I shoulda tank some spears I've got wonderful news

What's that? Where's your uh, I'll tell you right now, okay?