The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 301 – garbage man can

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

nothing topical this week sorry

with chair this chair is lovely good afternoon if you're just joining us Adam is complaining about the no he bought himself no after shitting on the after shitting on the other side now he's saying that chair made my legs go you get another one of your life maybe perhaps it was your your romantic trist from the night before I didn't say made my ass having a lingering effect I said the legs went numb from the lack of maybe your your vaginal nerve you do have a vaginal nerve listen naked sometimes it's hard with the nerve of this guy of this vagina vaginal nerve of this guy sometimes it's hard for your

legs not to fall asleep when you're doing a pretzel with them behind your head come down in a second 2020 the show's ending none of us want to do it anymore the year is twenty twenty what is happening we could listen we could do one more year if we record every single episode in one week yeah that's what we are 23 don't tell them that we are doing that 2023 can happen if we do it in literally one week and then I got to rethink the way I sell ads because this year I really fucked it up so we're gonna do a mystery boxing so if you want to buy ad reads for 2022 you send me some information about your business

and then you know we can't promise you when we'll talk about it but we will and we want a hundred and fifty thousand dollars up front and stay tuned because you got to listen to see what an unmarked bills yeah and you'll know because your business will be booming you will need they won't need to stay tuned Adam because their sales will fucking quadruple through the roof just watch your sales you'll know when we fucking mentioned your bitch ass product we've blue dot com was was just one of our sponsors was just two gay guys in a garage when we started you mean Adam and Eve but it was Adam and Steve it was

you and a guy who he asked you to call Eve his name was Evan he just was a silent and Adam and beef Adam and beef and it's not it's not pussy it's a beaver that puts his tail in your bath and he thumps on it he did he thumps on your prostate and that's how you come it's be you probably feel pretty if you like getting your prostate stimulated a beaver thumping it probably would feel good you know Mari given this guy daps yeah I love the daps yeah if you're just joining us at home we are watching episode I'll tell you right now season 18 episode 6 of Mari and it's now at minute 32 oh he is really my hero this

guy and a hot woman mr. povich a hot woman named Shanaida I believe or Shaleda is claiming that June Shaleda I barely I barely know her June is a cool guy's name we were just talking about actually we will talk about on Sunday how men have women's and women took men's names yeah they're all men June is a cool name for a guy yeah what day is it today what uh this episode do you know this is March is it March March 2nd okay yeah wow top of the morning to us all top of the morning St. Patty's just around the corner I'm gonna be in Vancouver this weekend gonna be in St. Louis the one after that Chicago

Burlington going to my brother's bachelor party which I've already planned what are you guys doing I will have already planned when it is March 2nd on it no joke I'm trying one of the activities might be going to Maury doing it in New York a dream come true we rented a big house in Queens in Chicago no it's Connecticut Connecticut but it's only 40 minutes from a story oh that's right dude it's yeah well is it in Connecticut or in it's or so no no it's in like whatever it is it's 40 minutes from a story I thought it was like the my TV studio in Chicago it's a drive-by there because that's where they did the

Morton Downey Jr. show yeah that was that was you don't know about it yeah no but I watched you've never been to the place I went to the place I used to go to the place all the time did you watch the game the show did you watch the game did you watch the show did you watch the game shows off air but I don't know where I am the show is off air I'm watch I'm thinking about games because I'm because I'm stupid here mr. Cuomo okay Adam don't interrupt the why are you why are you interrupting me you should stop if you haven't seen it you got to watch the documentary about Morton Downey Jr. you haven't you haven't seen the

consequences of your actions what are those consequences being put in the cabinet for the litter bar which is where you'll do the show from now on that was the case then I would well we do have a guest coming we're going to trust the science we're going to trust the data and from what we've seen the place where you belong is inside the cat's bathroom do you think you could fit in that litter box Adam just hypothetically fuck you my body type and ethnic makeup and genetics makes being squeezing the tight spaces at hiding in tiny little spaces yeah mm-hmm well it's been a while though no no I'm always

ready you're always ready oh yeah I stay ready yeah I guess that hasn't been I guess you're I should read generation I should reread flowers for Algernon and Anne Frank's diary just because they come up so often do they and I feel like if I had a more concrete the more concrete understanding that they would be easier to make he gets pussy and flowers for Algernon and then he gets to return he gets it when he gets too retarded she's like I'm not the flower I'm not she gets more need to and gets her period I believe wait wait wait oh I haven't read it in Frank's diary oh you gotta read it bro I don't really I feel like I

missed it they should have made me read it it's it's fire you know what I am listening I am reading right now because you we were talking about a couple months ago we had a store we had a history lesson yeah where we went over Israel yeah started and you said that it was that at a certain point Alaska was considered yeah that you're reading the Yiddish police I'm reading the year I read that book for real not even lying I read that I'm reading it now and we can have that conversation and then unlock the memory in my brain yeah of listening to that guy on fresh air yeah when I was driving back from probably I

don't know where I don't when did it come out was it like high school he read that he wrote that other book Cavalier and clay Cavalier and clay the adventures of Cavalier and clay who are they two gay guys this had something to do with Harry Houdini I read it when I was in high school I don't fucking remember that anyway the English comic books and some there was a comic book element the English police from genius pretty there's a there's a French fry element this fucking dumbass reading eating the shake shack keep talking of de Blasio Billy Billy D yeah who's now he's free set free dude

Jeannie you're free we think de Blasio is doing with his time off I think you and me both know buddy slapping cheeks build the clap assio oh my god build the fuck assio he's in the born warren we need everyone to get back warren will help you here so we know we have to make it convenient we know we have to make it easy we know we need opportunities for people speak to their trusted community voices doctors etc we're doing all that but we also know that incentives help they really do and so we've been announcing free tickets gift cards all sorts of incentives to encourage people a lot of people are ready to get

vaccinated they just haven't gotten around to it they need a little extra incentive we're doing that now and we are going to have a lot he reads his daily briefing off like a fucking cheesecake factory menu it is laminated that's sick of corresponded this because they know he's gonna spill yeah because the mayor of the city can't be trusted not to have an oopsie all over I give him credit he is six five that fuck him the bludgeon is worth that worth and from a site that means a lot to all of us as New Yorkers because one thing I think that does unite every politician you get into some kind of executive office how the fuck did Obama's net worth was like

twenty thousand dollars before he came president that's sick and now he's worth like 80 million or something he's out there sucking off Richard Branson is a whole shit let's find out if jack so hold on hold on live from the original shake pause it we have to find out if juniors the father Shalita and Junes relationship you said no Monique the lie detector test determined that was a lie whoa it's your cousin Monique you fucking bitch you try you tried to sabotage their fucking relationship you said no the lie detector test determined you're telling the truth oh it's her cousin

you're telling the course the fuck this girl is hot though having sex with other men in order to break her and you know you said no the lie detector test determined you're telling the truth oh interesting let's find out how to father that's not picking up at all but it is you can hear it yeah your headphones yeah yeah oh she's trying to take responsibility for your kid take responsibility for your kid take responsibility for your kid actually maybe it's not picking up I don't know psych now I was rooting for June you

was rooting for the father Big Shack location in Madison Square Park the CEO of Shake Shack and he is generously joining into this incentive effort and I welcome him my pleasure to do CEO Randy Garudy welcome Randy Randy gay sexy good morning Mr. Mayor good morning New Yorkers Randy Garudy the CEO of Shake Shack and we are here live in Madison Square Park at the original Shack 20 years ago it's a great Shack was born as a humble New York started here to raise a little money for this park and even today all of our shack it goes directly to paying for this park's beautification we were born and raised hardly eats the fucking Sam there

are a lot of hot women in that park I like that park having lunch in the middle of the day yeah I go there I get put a tip to our listeners if you want to live hot women having lunch yeah when it's a little bit warmer out thank you so much Randy thank you to the whole Shake Shack team this is really going to help us out did you say free fries when you get vaccinated not even a fucking burger I got vaccinated you're saying I could get this the delicious fries right Matt but there's also a burger element to this little burger element you flip let me tell me don't need hard is it too or wait I was bill retard yeah

Bill de Blasio bill retard that would be so big if it bill retard I heard you're gonna be on de Blasio's show that's right I went to this let me let me check with Bill Neetard is it too hard oh Neetard even something for me this mile across the next day you haven't even considered me there's a different element that's been introduced now 900 episodes and we never got to Neetard it sounds a bit like burger yeah okay there you go we'll allow that I want you to look at this why do you say okay like a fat woman again some people love hamburgers some don't really want to respect all ways of life but if this is about respecting people that don't want to take the fucking back right

whereas where where is their free respect the good people of Staten Island living off disability and now a storming burger who have no problem with heartburn and heart medicine in general I walked by one of those the other night outside Union Square was it happening was it like in the mix it was like 12 people trying to get into like Union Square Cafe that's awesome it was like a lady like that it's in 2021 you're not letting a disabled woman eat the food the cops just like bored of shit yeah we'll be killing people right like do understand you we know you're racist and you're stopping us from killing black

people yeah so think about that this is a waste do you just think of this when you think of vaccination vaccinations why is he talking with his mouth full I'm getting a very good feeling because he's not good at literally anything except clapping cheeks about vaccination rate this moment thank you to Randy Garudy and of course Danny Meyer they're doing so much to help us and my favorite that's my chief staff need to art is a great like imagine growing out when your name rhymes with

retard growing up in like the 80s you know your name runs you know all the kids on the playground were incredibly respectful about his background whatever got led him to have that name okay oh this lady's Caitlyn is named isn't married to someone named Keanu there's actually you in there Keanu oh damn so do you want to know what this guy looks like imagine Keanu Reeves would make him even gayer right both in name he's not gay looking he's hot who Keanu yeah dude the original Keanu he's a piece of ass you guys ever a swoosh died dr. pepper on your mouth and it foams up a little bit no fucking awesome

no I don't I don't aspirate it like a wine or whatever that's called dude it feels like you're eating a slushy is that what that's called no where you aspirate pump food in your mouth well this lady that wants the DNA test has what a Monroe piercing Monroe piercing she's huge eyes but it's still ugly somehow disgusting big eyes is usually a kind of a cheat code to look hot yeah Keanu's Keanu's bitches Keanu is not looking too hot yeah yeah oh Keanu has a huge nose probably has a large penis oh yeah got that look at those tall guys with big Adam's apples that have probably like big ass dicks yeah great

sweatpants guys yeah they were always unathletic but then in Jim they would change and you would just look at their huge delicious cocks you'd be with the rest of the girls in the girls locker room like it's porkies looking through the people by the way I watched porkies thinking it was gonna be a movie just stop in high school looking through like a keyhole in the vending machine why would I do that you could easily look at the vending machines you didn't even have to look through people that's what makes it funny do you guys ever seen porkies yeah of course so I saw porkies think it was

gonna be like an hour and a half just like tits and like yeah it's a movie about like them having a feud with some guy they try and buy pussy from yeah yeah it's not good at all yeah you should have watched the last American Verge and like Nick and I told you to wait do we have this conversation I don't know are you ready for the sex are you ready for the sex girl the big brash girl big big brash real sex girls are you ready for the fucking apparently they use that song also in revenge of the nerds because I am gay are you ready to suck my dick all time gay sex no that old-fashioned

hmm are you ready for the sex girl the right right ultra-vital nice nice girl yes are you ready for this I get back in that air with a show. It's just 40 minutes of music. Yeah. 40 minutes of white snake. We were doing that at the end of the cabin run. I feel like we're playing a lot of music. Oh, look who remembers his romantic evening. He is the father. Keanu is the fat father. Now he's had he wants to be the father. I love that when they accuse their wife of cheating on them and then they're they've they're proven to be a liar. Now he's

hugging his wife and now he's happy. Then he brought her on morey because she she should be pissed. He accused her of being a whore. They should have a show called white trash girls like this have no self esteem. They should have a show called moron and he's like no she says that you're the father explain what that means. Like well when a man and a woman they have sex have a baby. What do you mean have sex coming up on moron. I'm 13 years old and nobody can tell me what the fuck to do moron was at some at some point every word used to me every word that we say is like stupid used to me in retard right moron moron idiot dunce idiot yeah mongoloid of course yeah point Dexter. So that's what they why

don't we just let retard take its natural course. Yeah instead of making it so offensive it would have run his course by now and we just let it be in the lexicon. But no that's what I say about the n word you know. Well that's a little bit we're giving it power. I think that's a little different if we all say it doesn't have power brother you're actually technically correct but I think that was the point Michael Richards was trying to make it's just a word. He didn't he didn't really put it very eloquently. Those guys are knee tards up there. Couple of bill need 20 years ago they would have been in Madison Square Park cooking shake for you all day. Don't laugh it's not funny. Don't laugh. You ever

fuck with a nebulizer guys you ever have asthma as a child. No really we had a we had nebulizer on deck at the Halkus household. No Max my lungs are actually in shape despite being smoking lazy smoking bogey vaping all day vaping smoking smoking cigarettes for 20 years getting coronavirus every eight weeks getting repeated coronavirus constantly because that every single very is like the patient zero. You know me I'm a completionist of course you have to have every fucking little. I heard that the coronavirus was actually started by a gay guy having sex with a monkey. Really. Are you thinking of AIDS. Oh yeah that's so funny. That's not true right. That's not how it started. Well they started in a fucking

lab every disease every disease. The fucking military experimenting on shit and then they killed a bunch of people like actually was a monkey and an African guy had sex with it and they could get away with that until basically two years ago. Right. And they'd be like yeah some dumb fucking jungle guy. Married a gorilla. They're like it makes and now gay guys can't fuck each other. And I'm Dr. Anthony Fauci. This has been that was Anthony Fauci senior junior. Basically he got married to a monkey. Every study we have points to the indication that that a African American man was married to a baboon. And during a heated domestic dispute the baboon threw a bottle of hypnotic at his head. And some of the grease from the

baboon's hand mixed with the hypnotic creating the HIV virus which we have yet to isolate and we'll never have a vaccine for because it doesn't actually exist. Yeah is it real. The government chooses 100 gay guys at random every three weeks to kill. Speaking of Super Speciosa. Do you get a package. No you guys talk about that for a second. Make sure this isn't the police. Okay. So the cops are downstairs. So first of all pray for us. Yep. Nick was at a you know they always said that if he was born black he'd be dead. Well Nick was trying to get into David's bridal but they wouldn't let him in without his vaccine. Yeah and he was like please I want to try the dresses. Yeah. It's my right. This is for God. So why

would you call it David's. My name is Nick. I have a man or named David. I should be able to try on the dresses regardless of my vaccination status. That's true. And so the police now have a warrant out for his arrest. So hopefully that's not. But hopefully he can get through this stressful time with some nice cool. Cratom powder. That's true. You can get that at Super. Oh a new Vitamix. A new Vitamix. I mean a new box of Super Speciosa Cratom. That's awesome. What do you mean a new Vitamix. It's a gift. Oh first for someone. No it's a box of Cratom. Yeah. Yeah. But they I love buying people Vitamix. It's a nice gift. It's a good gift. I've got a couple people. No one wanted the neuro fuzzy. What. No one. That's

because they haven't tried the everybody. Yeah. Everybody I've offered it to is just said that's because they don't understand the power. Well they're like well that'd be great if I'd made rice that often. Yeah. Wow. You don't need it. You don't eat rice enough. Then I go. Well it's the neuro fuzzies Japanese not Chinese. I know but I'm speaking the Chinese people that I know. Oh I see. So basically. Well they definitely make rice then. They're like they were like I would most rather have a Vitamix to put the dirty diaper in to make a dirty diaper sauce. That's not a type of Chinese sauce. I would love I want to have a dirty diaper sauce from streets. It's not a kind of sauce. Get super leave

I love get super leaf. If you like to taste the dirty diapers you'll love the taste of creative. That's you. That is actually probably true. They start off with a bunch of the Southeast Asian dirty diapers and dry them out. Put them in a Vitamix like beef. They put them in a food dehydrator like jerky and they grind them up as Vitamix and they send it to Anthony Fauci's lab to guarantee that this shit definitely fucking works. And let me tell you something. I might disparage this product a lot. Okay. Interesting. I would say don't disparage it. I would say spare. I said I've disparaged this product a lot. Oh you have. But that's only because I dismiss this stuff. Look you can you. If there's one thing you can trust

me on it's that the things we sell on this show or I see some value in the right. Be it's not being illegal sports betting or legal or closed for finance guys. Right. There's some value. We like the products. We are not. We definitely wouldn't advertise literally anything as long as someone gave us $6,000. Let me tell you something. I have taken this stuff to what some might describe as excess to the limit. Nick has pushed it to the limit with regards to some of this beautiful products. I had a couple of months. I'd like to call my reverse scar face error which I was losing a bunch of money becoming more of a coward and getting fucked up on down. But you had some of you might remember those as some of

the worst episodes we've done that era and you have forget super least dot com. I tell you this shit got me through the capital right. Having to read people I used to respect demand that everyone helps the FBI. There is nothing to do but turn to a bunch of dirty diaper sauce. You got to grind up the dirty diaper so get super leaf dot com. But here's the thing. You don't even need a vitamin because you don't need any dirty diapers. It already comes in a capsule, a tea or a powder. That's right. P and it is a really nice product. It gets you feeling mellow. It gives you some energy and mellow and energy. It's like it's both. I don't know. I can't remember if this is in the copy or just something I read online.

But many have described it as combining a percassette with a cup of coffee. One of the nicest little combos there are. And now that I think that was not in the cup. It's certainly not in the copy. And legally we didn't say that. But it is. I imagine you know what this shit would be great for? What's that? And you would have to chase it with ideally if you could put it in coffee without making the coffee. Right. Tastes like dog dick. So you know I would go to capsule wrap. I would go to capsule and drink a cup of coffee.

The powder is the easiest way to do it. Your big heaping table scoop because if you go to capsules you got to if you're trying to if you're trying to if you're trying to make the day go by you know. Yeah. And look if you like niche electronic weird type of music I'll say this. Good friend Dan Deacon used to do Kratom years ago. He was on the bleeding edge of this stuff. So if you want to be cool now he's dead. I remember that's the first time I ever saw Kratom was he was doing a show here in Brooklyn I hung out with him. He had scoops of all this fucked up powder. I was like what the fuck is this. I took some of it I was like this is pretty good.

Years later I would take a different type of Kratom and I would say wow this is even better. And that's get super good. And that's this Kratom from get super relief dot com. Super special. Yeah I'm I'm imagining I'm at work at the car dealership. I got to go in. I'm going to be there 12 hours. I want to die. Right. And then my wife is cheating on me. I'm pretty sure of it. I take 8 to 12 Kratom capsules with my cup of coffee in the morning. Cut a lot of people's break lines by accident. And the boss has no idea. They have no idea who they hired by accident.

But it doesn't matter because I live off commission. She's checked out too. So I'm just also barely gives a fuck. I'm just I just sit in my cubicle in the double wide next to the old Trinidadian man that has to be rushed to the hospital for many strokes once a week and I'm fucked up on Kratom. Doesn't that sound awesome guys. And that's a get super leaf dot com. They have tablets to try the tablet. I guess they just pressed. They're just pressed into a tap. You know, yeah, actually the tablet kind of splits the difference.

I might be right. I like the tablet. Yeah. So by Kratom tablets. It's just like they're innovating over at get super leaf dot com super special. This shit is lab verified clean safe and GMP compliant. What's GMP you ask. Good question. Get money pussy. Our selection of Kratom powder for sale features popular green red and white vein Kratom green. That's the light skin kind of light skin Kratom be like the Kratom you find in our stores contains only pure Kratom and leaf in its natural form has not been altered in any way. It's awesome. Let me go to tablets here. Great. Green

Mungdong Kratom tablets out of stock. Red Main Tong Datum Krablitz Krablitz. White May Dang Trong Kratom tablets out of stock. Green Bali Kratom tablets out of stock. It looks like. And that's how good this shit is. It's flying off the shelves. It looks like they're completely sold out. But you know what by the time you're listening to this it'll be in stock. It'll be back in stock guaranteed. This is even better to consume when you click on the buy link you go to it. We have a promo code. It's either come town or come

down to see the come down or come down 20 20 percent off your order. But what you go to the website and it's covered in branding that says 120 percent off your order click here sort of like negating any kind of benefit necessity for even thinking of entering their promo code. And thus even though you probably have heard of it from us you probably aren't entering the promo code and we aren't getting credit. We're not getting credit and therefore it damages our ability to do the show again another year which we won't be doing anyway which we won't be doing anyways unless we can figure out a way to do it in one twenty four hour period one twenty four hour period and the

sponsors will just I'll just send them my monthly budget and then they can they can figure out why I've I've spent three hundred dollars this month on twist ties. Well you know what we could we could how about this we do every single bonus for the year and then we cut we we meet up to record advertisements and we cut them into episodes from 2012 we should start doing when do we start 16 we should start doing ads the way that other shows do them which is just after the show Lewis struggles to read something off a piece of paper and then they just inserted into the part of the show before even the dumb intro music oh interesting no one listens well but then we wouldn't be able to eat up

over half of the show by quote unquote doing the ads you know what I'd like to eat up half of his man's penis and then also you know the other half a bag of great yeah I would love that the fur both sounds delicious both things you would love Adam no absolutely I'd I agree though I would like to eat up a bag of great him to and where would I get it from get super leaf dot com or super speciosa dot com super penis get super penis I would love that website what in your conception what is a super penis look like super penis alright right here we go get super leaf dot com slash come down there it is so it's right in the URL right in the fucking URL yeah it takes all the guess work out of it so you

have to go to that specific URL so the deal the people's court over zoom I was just to be clear this product is not intended to diagnose treat cure prevent any disease no but it makes you feel awesome yeah it makes you feel real good make you feel fucking off I'm really just taking some more fun fucked up on brain we should do an episode on Krayton yeah just as a testimonial as a testimonial I'm on Krayton right now a breast testimonial breast testimonial this woman on people's court not not the one that looks like Tim Dillon but this one this one yeah I thought I actually did that looks like it does look like I fuck the judge too but you'd have to be wearing the robe yeah put her up on a counter fuck

her under the robe I would love to get head from this judge this is season 25 episode 22 of the people's I'd like to be originally aired October 5th twenty twenty one I'd like to be under her under her eating her pussy eating her pussy and get sure during the trial it's super really I tell you what this that's could be all the reason I'll tell you what I'd love the fuck this actress on in the heat of the night get super leaf dot com I'd love to blow Krayton into the judge on the people's courts pussy yeah yeah that lady can get it that's yeah she can really get it she'll stop looking at my girl that lady looks like Tim Dillon yeah incredible I want a roundhouse kicker head off her shoulder

would you get head from the Tim Dillon looking lady to get head from the other lady as like a up he's like a troll yeah exactly you have to you have to you get head from her but you get to fuck the other lady I mean of course what am I out I'm I'm asking the question the answer is of course thank you Nick Adam no what see that and that's why we play the game now wouldn't you don't mind you can play the game would be cheated you can play the game against your beliefs and the game is by hundreds of thousands of dollars of creative buy a lot of it because it's the highest quality it's independently lab and look at the supply chain issues you never know when you're going to get a chance to have more creative so you

have to buy it where's it gone isn't in my ass it's it in my ass what is happening there's one of those huge boat chains but it's coming out of it's coming out of the Tunker's ass like a magician taking out hanker chiefs already in twenty twenty two three shipping containers have been lost in my ass and it's going to get a lot worse microchips are impossible to find probably because they're shoved up my ass what is going on I love his concerned face that he has when he gets upset about something you know when he looks like a little Bijan freeze and lost his ball yeah exactly he does look like that fuck dude fuck what was I what did I ask you I asked a question that had with

that I think was really rife for discussion getting head from the big ones you can get ahead no there's something before that but I'm forgetting the gamblers choice gamblers oh you see that they okay how about a year from Schrodinger's cats it was a pedophile interesting when was he on some news from two months ago when was he alive I don't know in the olden days when people scored episode is this let's go ahead and I already said season twenty five episode oh you're going to look up her name yeah let's go on October fifth twenty twenty one was the original air day yes more info pooch problems so she's there's something wrong with her poochie her poochie is all fucked up dr. poochie I am

a scientist but I also have a dog's pussy I have the pussy of a dog I have given birth to a litter of puppies they're all sucking my nipples I'm a man but when I see a hot rottweiler my dog pussy starts to get wet do dogs pussies get wet oh you know perfect oh yeah it would be funny if your dick had to get wet yeah it would be funny if your dick had to get wet men had the tits and they gave birth and women were just as dry whole dry flat chested hole they're like can my name be Steven also shut up fine I don't care that would be horrible I put on a little air but my dog soaks the couch air but she wants to fuck air but I hold his air but hold on she might be a pet on a hot I put on a hot

dog show mm-hmm she's she's going to soak up the whole thing well because you're right a dog's dick is inside so it's slimy and shit the red little red rocket pops out it's wet also I don't think dog girl dogs can come can they most animals can't come they come every time that's just because dogs ain't be hitting it right Rachel Rachel I can tell you first of all thank you for having me on Maddow I can guarantee you a dog's pussy can come take it from me personally thank you dr. Fauci dr. poochie thank you dr. poochie dr. poochie he's got a dog's pussy where is the first start like is it just a skin there's so many interesting questions with that what kind of dog how big is it I just

there's just so much I want to know have you found this woman's name yet no fuck dude oh oh look there's a picture of her okay looks pretty good she looks good oh I did fuck her actually no dude I did actually she the defendant I can't tell we're listening to it she's got a kid so that means she's all the pussies good you know she's fucked before I wonder if the pussy bounce back okay your honor can we call in yeah we're gonna have to take a look at this woman's but the jury's requesting to see pictures of witnesses pussy before and after there's no birth I want to see before and after oh this woman watching video with her dog you should get a fresh pussy like you should get a little pussy freshen up after

you give birth as a if you want it if you want it I'm not saying you force it on every woman if they want their pussy to get fucked up but if it only feels fair yeah you go through that whole ordeal you should get a freshened up pussy a whole ordeal a whole ordeal speaking of a whole ordeal you got a whole new deal of diet smoke dot com Wow FDR the only thing we have to fear is not getting basically edibles over the mail that's that's right and not only did he say that that it makes total sense of why you said that yeah yeah what the relation to what we're talking about it well you said new deal oh yeah you know the only thing we have to fear is why does he sound like side is paying full price for diet smoke dot com

fire side that doesn't sound safe I might be in a wheelchair but I can still get pussy from a 19 year old wheel chair a key that's good it's a handicapped Indian yeah yep yes sir he doesn't have to be in a wheelchair to say that by the way I'm in a wheelchair hey how are you how are you doing oh it's going how are you having this what is a what is the wheel chair a key because he's still I would assume has pains in his legs yeah and he does it a diet smoke dot com yeah what is he you know we will what is he used to dull some of that pain yeah well he uses that glamour shots they're really trying to they're selling on this dude they're making us horny they're putting out at this after a stroll

mm-hmm after put them on your bitch take your put them on your bitch on your bitch bring balance back to your day with diet smoke delta a thc gummies it's the perfect medium high folks they come in two flavors raspberry and watermelon isn't that right that's correct and I love both I can tell you both are equally delicious this this is a smooth buzz and that you guys can enjoy it's so fucking sometimes I get a buzz but it's not too I hate a rough buzz rough buzz nothing worse nothing worse than a rough buzz you're probably wondering what so what the what the fuck is delta just what the fuck is this bullshit it's the fuck is one hundred percent legal th delta eight is simply a slightly less potent tetra hydra

cannabinol delta nine sub subunit mm-hmm of the of the marijuana plant oh what the fuck is that the show in a picture of a dog's pussy it's another dog got bit this is the pooch problem that's vouchers pussy that's right pussy no idea how resilient the dog pussy can be so I've says a woman's pussy gets fucked up for one kid try a litter of 12 dogs I had I I gave birth to 12 puppies during the pandemic yep and now they've been taken by Trump who's turning them into a beautiful code oh no twelve Dalmatians they came out of Anthony poochie's pussy you know this kind of looks like a carola deville who Eugene Carroll that's true that's true that's true carola deville diet smoke is non-prescriptive is a non-prescription

so you just get the doctor visit no prescription medical marijuana card required none of that fucking get it you don't need a fucking doctor some guy you were fucking pussy nerd who tried to art at school a car for them he hold your balls do you know that kind of thing that you're probably most familiar with is delta nine right and we're both are natural to the cannabis plant diet smoke extracts are dealt to aid from hemp mm-hmm they call this a loophole I called the secret recipe to getting a smooth stable most importantly legal that's such a awesome sentence yes why even bring up that it's a loop I mean it is so basically what delta eight is imagine you're a pedophile and you find somebody that's 18 years old

but they had some sort of pituitary disorders it's a mild pedophilia it's not or it's it's doesn't compare to the buzz of actual pedophilia when you're looking for something a little less if you're a woman on people's court season 25 episode 22 you know which one and you happen to be a listener of the show right and you're looking to leave your husband and your child yeah don't bring the child yeah for let's say an afternoon right of bugles and whatever may be and wherever it may go maybe a little delta eight eight from our friends over at diet smoke and they're trying to watch your figure after you got all loose from after that pussy got beat it up from the baby you didn't want to shit it out a little baby the

baby didn't want but now your dream of cheating on your your husband your lifelong dream cheating on your husband with you know a mentally disabled man child with a fading 15 minutes ended two years ago right and now you're just biding your time until the FBI asked you about people you were texting on January 6th that kind of guy then you need to go to diet smoke calm and use promo code come town right because you know what my problem with edibles is sometimes you get too high yeah it's true and I want to mellow smooth type of buzz and it can be really difficult to control something with less head rushing anxiety and sometimes come with traditional THC right you know sometimes you get it's it's being too high you feel

like a mentally disabled guy who's broken free from his leash right and you're you're in the mall with your family and the collar has snapped and now you've made your way into the candy store right and you can't figure out you can't figure out those little those little weird windows and you have to lift up yeah you just start punching what is this what do you feel like that's what you feel like that's too high okay but diet smoke it's you diet smoke you know how to use your chain you're a chained up retard with the appropriate amount of candy yeah completely nude in the front yard eating out of your bowl twizzlers firmly attached to the porch they got a new chain because the last one broke in an escape

attempt sit there suffering stoned out of your mind right thinking about every embarrassing moment in your life wanting to kill yourself that's why when I need the perfect medium high hit up my friends at diet smoke dot com right that's the most important part is the people that sell you these drugs are your friends they're good friends of our friends that's ever sold me anything as my friend and for the delicious delta eight THC goomies and gourmet diet smoke isn't light it's just right yeah what if you're like me and you've never actually taken a THC product because it's illegal good they recommend they recommend you start with half a gummy but if it's not your first rodeo you should be fine starting

off with a whole gummy and I'll say this they're really pushing the it doesn't get you that high angle if you're trying to get high as fuck take four or five because let me tell you even CBD I've done that a couple times it's my even CBD gets me kind of high right you know yeah so this shit I can't even it's this way is straight I mean this is we because I've done it and I do it all the time and I can imagine I have literally done it a lot diet smoke almost exactly like diet smoke is perfect if you're coming down from doing too much cocaine at ten a.m. you know what I'll say it is and you just need something to give you the mellow ability to go to Best Buy and sit in the Magnolia section and watch

Kung Fu Panda with the sound off and think what am I going to do when I have to get a job again I'd literally I have no I've been I've been turned into a woman where I just expect to be paid for exposing the most disgusting aspects of myself how am I supposed to put on a name tag and say please and thank you to strangers there's no turning back brother yep so anyway I do is you do it a diet smoke you got a diet smoke and you try out their two delicious flavors and if you order before 2 a.m. short 2 p.m. short orders will ship that very same day and USP as blue raspberry mm-hmm and watermelon and watermelon I like blue raspberry but insert secondary host name likes watermelon I say try them both nice try

it and we already covered this I'm the secondary host bitch yeah what about the tertiary you know what I you know what I always say I say try and try and both I do try and both and I like them both I say try and both and see trying both and see when CBT is enough and traditional to you're trying to do an impression you're like let's just see if I accidentally land on somebody no let me just let me just do a voice let me do a voice and see if it sounds like so buddy what the fuck what the fuck is Siri talking about wait do you have a male Siri you're gay well that's gay to get a male Siri came at the computer you're fucking gay to change it to a guy no you want to talk to a fucking robot guy hey you're

gay dude I changed Adam to silence my man got a male Siri when CBD isn't enough in traditional Siri describe your penis to me each it's delicious Nick and you love to suck it every day this is the most important part each gummy is an infused with ten milligrams of Delta ATHC derived from American grown Siri am I a good boy yes your daddy's little good boy and I'll let you suck my cock if you keep listening and you know what they say buy American get high with American Delta gummies are low in sugar I'm back folks oh Adam the Robin Hood of the board I brought I brought us back stuff thanks man yeah Adam Adam Robin Hood to be like it's look everyone it's it's Robin Hood he steals from the poor and keeps a little bit for himself

and gives to the rich send the rest to Israel and then he goes and then he tells everyone that he's Robin Hood right and then increasingly he takes more and more for himself and eventually he's just stealing from poor people and reminding everyone of the time he was Robin Hood that's true I I was considered Bernie made off to be the Robin Hood of Wall Street he was yeah isn't it crazy that a Ponzi scheme isn't named after you make sure that we just know that if you go to the diet smoke dot com and use the promo code come down you get twenty percent off your order that's two zero off that's nice I'd smoke dot com promo code come down so you M. T. O. W. N. that's twenty percent off not your first order right twenty percent

off orders all orders all orders that I suppose to it a delta a T. H. C. gummies are not for use or sale to people under the age of twenty one please use a responsibility right and I'm guessing they're really going to check that out yeah yeah when I when I was checking out on my diet smoke order they really asked me a website was like I'm going to need to see some I. D. young lady I can't believe you're over twenty one mm hmm yeah that's true yeah it's flirting do you think you would suck the diet smoke dot coms website yes yes for some they call Adams penis is diet poke that's I have heard that they call it that yes this lower on calories no it's smaller on calories way smaller on calories lower

on calories and sperm count it's definitely lower on sperm count big have you checked should we that would be a fun thing for the show to all check our sperm count I heard that the O. McCron variant lowers it for three months are you serious that's why I've been busting and I don't yeah I feel like that does that everything does that and they're just doing anything they can because there was that other article that was like some guys dick shrunk three inches from coven coven that guy was lying that daily male article there's no way that's real no that happened to me my dick was huge your dick's number twenty one your dick has never been big that's not true a lot of everyone has told me your

dick is small who's everyone Eric Adams so he never said to build a blaseo every mayor of the city of New York your doctor neat hard yeah neat hard Bill Neetard whatever they guys know his name is Bill Neetard Bill Neetard yeah the wonderful thing about figures the figures a wonderful thing I don't know if your name can be that figure shut up oh shit oh fuck you know oh well Eric Adams in the booth I've gotten stuck in the tree again trying to eat pussy that's me Eric Adams Eric Adams is doing the play about everyone can see my little bear pussy as it's stuck in the air you know Winnie the Pooh is he's public domain now no is he yeah so should we should we do a when you when you put a

public domain now yeah oh damn I'm gonna make some Winnie the Pooh shirts but you can't do the red it has to be like the old school Winnie the Pooh what do you mean you can't do the red because I think that's a red shirt is Disney that's updated but there is like a an old version of Winnie the Pooh that you can use I wonder what Eric Adams is gonna look at this up it's gonna look nothing like Winnie the Pooh just looks like a little naked bear dude public domain I think we should make a movie where I get to be Winnie the Pooh oh a hundred percent is the name Winnie the Pooh trademark I don't fucking know no it's this fucking one doesn't look anything like Winnie the Pooh that's just a fucking teddy

bear nice it's not even yellow Luke McGarry began drawing a nude Pooh bear as soon as he heard the news that's how this article starts awesome the original nearly a hundred year old bear a very little brain from the hundred acre wood had rung in this new year by entering public domain now quite unbelievable Gary anyway I want to be I'm Winnie the Pooh I'm gonna do a reboot a horny reboot of Winnie the Pooh where Christopher Robin is that you remember Jessica Robin from porn that had with huge tits Jessica rabbit no no Jessica Robin but she was a redhead here's an article from a website called plagiarism today Adams favorite Adams Adams joke writing website you remember Jessica Robin yeah it was really

hard to find her do hardcore I think she only did one porno it was a threesome anyway instead of Christopher Robin she's in it and Winnie the Pooh is me and I fuck her at the at the woods or whatever it's called what's Winnie the Pooh's woods called the thousand acre wood hundred acre wood the hunt at the thousand acre wood that's right never a policy from Jessica Robin just said it yeah I'll be I'll be you or I'll be piglet you are piglet bang bro yeah Mickey Mouse is also in public domain Mickey Mouse public domain yeah but only the steamboat really that's a good fine that's a good one so I'm seeing a lot of hardcore scenes no okay here's what my question when does some other woman took her name when does

answer I'm a go into public domain there was an original Jessica Robin I don't know there's original Jessica Robin who was hard to find and then a different redhead stole her name took advantage of the of the good will she had built up in the big titty community and started doing hardcore she dyed her hair the same way sort of looks like her but it's not as hot hmm I'll tell you right now I'm gonna look for it right now this is a big I did a lot of beating off to this woman when I was in middle school beating off beating off I love beating off that's what I did a bit off my friend he come over and my bit off they get there but my wife she come home from grocery store and I had their slap she must

have become slapped yeah this is not her she's not as hot as the original Jessica you remember that video why do she slap no yeah of course this is a classic how can she slap how can she slap how can she slap let's give everyone at home to look up the how can she just play it why don't you just play yeah this bitch stole I can't believe she did this in your ass there was a ray there's a I wonder what happens if you search Jessica Robin original hey this is cool check out this steamboat Willie Lego look it's off I didn't get to see it how can she slap how can she slap how can she slap how can she slap I mean this original Jessica Rob this new one is pretty good to who's Jessica Robbins with the funky time

the new one maybe Robbins that I used to check off no it's Jessica Robbins and it's a Winnie the Pooh character no I want to reboot Winnie the Pooh where I'm Winnie the Pooh instead of Christopher Robin it's Jessica Robin she sucks my dick oh okay that's pretty cool yeah that sounds like pretty good thank you that's all I needed to hear from my friend you know I was thinking about I almost went to draw it but I was too I couldn't be bothered to get a pen out yeah but like it's like a family crying uh-huh at one of the wheel wells of a monster truck in the sun it's like jumping up trying to reach the door and the wife is like Richard stop no don't and there's a husband just sitting in the cab of the monster truck

and there's a hose going from the tailpipe into the window he's just ignoring them that's pretty good I like that be pretty badass would be badass I'm trying to find the original Jessica Robbins I used to beat off to this woman stole her whole shit she swagger jacked her whole vibe that shouldn't be allowed this really goes against kind of a social construct or contract between the porn performer in the audience should I renew my feel like you're not being my zoo membership probably yeah why not I didn't go once this why I went once I think this year mm-hmm you got it the thing is is like if you want to go to the Bronx you you got to make and I saw I've said this before but I won't really want to drive this

point home yeah please do you got to set aside a whole weekend weekend yeah I must have not been listening no it's like an amusement park dude like any music you know it's not like you think like Disney World is the one you got to do like a week of you know yeah there's like two parks there's all this shit to do but really it's like even if you go to fucking Six Flags like if you get there when they open you have time to go to one roller coaster right I'm not a big theme park I gotta be honest well have you been as an adult no then you got to try it you got to take a bunch of edibles some Kratom a couple of blue chews yeah you know you got to make sure you got your baby powder all up in your shit so that your nuts

don't shave yeah because there's a lot of walking a lot of yeah oh yeah and it's moist yeah and you're gonna be wet you got to cut the webbing out of your bathing suit and then duck that's true cut the webbing is huge cutting the webbing and then duct taping your dick in one of your legs so people can't see it yeah now I want them to see my little ass dick oh you're a dick print guy yeah okay I'm gonna find the original Jessica I'm not I'm a concealed carry guy yeah I'm a Tucker that's what Tucker Carlson actually that's where he got his name from that's true because he and you can find out on Tucker Carlson and we'll see you this weekend if you go to patreon.com slash come down where you can hear more about Tucker

Carlson it's a good one this weekend I buy tickets to all my shows yep