The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 313 – Space

Episode Date: May 26, 2022

the final frontier

Hello, come on Barbie show me pussy. Let's get right into it. I got chocolate all over my hands I was in a pretty bad mood. No, you look awesome, dude. No, I got cookie in me Mm-hmm. I realized that you know life is pretty bad. Yep. You know, I was thinking about the other day And this is a dumb thought. I mean it's I mean in like not in like a dead day idea itself is stupid But that it's just the kind of thing a moron would think and think to repeat but like You know, so it's like Elon Musk is trying to buy Twitter and then everyone's calling him a faggot for doing it And then he's on there being like these are political attacks

And it's like this is the richest man in the world. I know and he is not any happier than me. No, he has all that shit And he's it still doesn't like you it's just visible because there's at least before this, you know It's like yeah, everything's fucked. There's people at the top The control everything and make your life dog shit and fucking everyone has to suffer so they can have this position But at least you get to think like well He's probably happy or something or at least fucking kids or something. No, he's just being a faggot on Twitter I almost preferred the world where they were secretly having sex with a hundred percent Kevin's going to war with the subreddit daily. Yeah, well, that's not just Kevin Durant. I mean, that's not

That's not a guy with hundreds of billions of dollars. Well, he's got one billion. He's got a Billy Yeah, but yeah, I'm not like I know you mean, you know, he's not fucking Carlos Slim or that's always been my issue with E-line is that it's he's fucking he's just a fucking yeah, he's still posting because it's like Bezos ain't posting. I guess he's never doing muscle pics. Bezos is posting a little bit Yeah, a different tact of posting. Yeah, he's also a fucking loser if you're that rich We should not even know your name. Yeah, that's the real fucking guys. There have to be guys like that There are they're in Monaco fucking they are definitely getting put getting sub, you know, pussy that they're doing the Satanic Dominic Strauss con. Yep

Hey Suck on your coconut titties Now the bit is that Dominic Strauss con is Joe. He is Joe list, right? Hey, nice titties Congo Oh, why don't you let me play him like he's also Robin Williams? Yeah, that's I don't know. I'm not even doing Joe I'm covered in chocolate. You are very covered in chocolate. Would you get a chocolate chip cookie or a scone? I got chocolate chip cookie and the snicker dude. Oh, I went to cook this dick is hard today because the ice cream shop was closed That did break my heart, too, and I'm actually like very sad

Either eat this shit or I or I try to cry and fail That's the thing is like I haven't been able to look I literally have not cried since the Fast and Furious 6 Of course. All right, Pete. What about up? You ever came out before okay, right and Guck I remember getting close but at the first five minutes the first five minutes are brutal You cried call me by your name and that's after fast. No, yeah, he did He's crying the whole movie actually I think he cried at the end what they called each other by the name No, he was crying the whole movie. No, it's a good movie

But I did not cry. Yeah, you cry Adam. You cry every fucking day. So what? So what I'm making an accurate point you get me by you what's worse than crying is trying to and not being able to sure Yeah, then you just you're like Is that you're trying to try to try to grow a beard? Yeah It's like the same kind of it's natural it's gonna happen or just kind of squeeze out a cry Mm-hmm. Well, yo after you cry dude, you get a natural rush of endorphins. That's most similar to doing Molly So I'm fucking tripping bro all day. You're tripping over my dick and balls. I'm not I

Just want to say real quick at the top of the episode because I gave a wrong date in the last time I was on the pod My special officially is coming out June 5th for real 100% I know I said it would be out literally two days ago, but We had some some technical snafus, and then I didn't want to release it on Memorial Day or Labor Day Whatever the fuck's coming out of respect out of respect to the fucking to the labor There's more that's your memorial days for is for workers who got sucked in the machines Yeah, no, that's Labor Day Memorial Day is when you remember the best pussy you ever got and you take a whole day off to be like

Damn, that was awesome. Is it a The Memorial Day and Veterans Day were both veterans and then Labor Day was workers. Yeah, that's what I just said More no no veterans days for veterans Memorial Day is to remember the pussy you got mm-hmm I just sit around and have a barbecue and that's why whoever got the best pussy throws the barbecue and so no for real though What the fuck is Memorial Day for it's the Titanic? No the people that died the veterans are for the people that oh We're just way if they just want a bunch of John McCain losers. Yeah, not the real hero When's gay day gay day it's a month whatever December something I forget, but yeah, that's what it is Damn, that's your birthday dude. I know your birthday now. I'm gonna forget your birthday and it's gone

December and it's gone. I know it's in December and you know what it's gone So don't even bother remembering it because I've forgotten yours. I don't know Adam's birthday April Fool's Day No April 10th. It's fine. I don't remember anyone's birthday Including my girlfriend. I know eldest's birthday. Well, of course, you know your girlfriend's birthday. It was two years ago Her actual yeah, the day she was born. The day she was born people celebrate the day. They were born every every year I love the idea of somebody. I was the OBG. I am pussy to table. Yeah From your mom was pussy to my mouth gene charts on some biobride website Bread to people

This is gonna be my child The charts, what if you just got an ugly like you just picked through the highest people, but then the baby was ugly That would be fucking devastating. Yeah, you're doing sexual eugenics There'd be a fun Have you seen Zendaya's parents ugly baby? Are they ugly? They're ugly. Really? Yeah She's a fucking piece of ace. She's and she's really beautiful. Let me see. Let me let me look up who's in die Is that Z way? It's like another type. Mm-hmm. No, Zendaya's from Spider-man and and euphoria

And I think she was in the Disney like oh Wow Yeah Yeah, so it's like you never know a couple right you never know you could get two logos together make a make a Her dad looks like bootleg Randy Jackson. Yeah He kind of does Randy Jackson is so funny the fact that he somehow managed to continue losing a hundred pounds every year

He looks he looks a lot. He needs the weight back for the light. Yeah, I mean, he looks like a fucking floor lamp at this point Yeah It's like Al Sharpe. He lost too much weight. Yeah. Yeah, but he keeps doing it every time. It's like wow Out and Randy Jackson is unrecognizable as after recent weight loss Yeah, and it's like I forget what he even started at and what was even his why was even on that show? He was the like a replacement bass player for Journey No, he was a producer, isn't he? I thought he was a producer, but you could be right base for journey I love it. You've got that soul. You've got that style. You've got the X factor. Oh

God, yeah, he's too skinny. Yeah, he definitely is It is very funny to have a music talent show and the judges are some British fucking cunt Yeah, then nobody knows the only one. Yeah, the only one today tell us Paul Abdul. Yeah, right Well, she wasn't necessarily known for her singing It's a singing competition, but she was a dancer, but she had a hit single Straight up, can I see your fucking penis with binoculars? No, you can't Paula Abdul, Abdul's, it's wild to hold on to that name, you know. Paul Abdul. Yeah, not to a stage name

Why? It's just, you know, it's very threatening Abdul? Do you get nervous when you hear that name? Well, yeah, it's like it was originally Paula Abdullah. She took out the A Abdullah, Abdullah, Paula Abdul. Wait, did I say my special comes out June 5th? Yeah, you did On my YouTube channel

What's the name of it? Live at the Lodger Room Live at the Lodger Room I wanted to call it Fat Little Slut, but the algorithm, that would have been a problem with the algorithm I know, but the algorithm No, you shouldn't have said that, now you broke my heart I know, dude, believe me Fat Little Slut would have been a really easy thing

Believe me, Adam, I had this, this was something I was wrestling with for months Oh my God, you must have been tortured by that I was born when, when the, because I like asked a couple like Algo type motherfuckers They were like, look, it's going to be an issue I was like, fuck! But you know, whatever The Fat Little Slut lifestyle continues Dude, we got to push these tickets, I'll be in Raleigh, June 9th through the 11th

You can check that out And if you're in Jersey, actually I'll be the same weekend, I'll be in Providence So come through And if you're in New Jersey that weekend, my friend asked me if I could just mention the AsburyTatooFest.com Alright, check that out So, tell us, say hi to John John Go, go say hi to John John, ask to see his penis, he'll give you a free tattoo

He's yatted up Say Nick sent me, you have to say Nick sent me, can I see your penis? And then he'll give you a free Paul Abdul tattoo But more importantly With her pussy With her photorealistic picture of her pussy She's got a little pussy She's got a needle that comes in and out of her pussy, the Duke tattoos

And she just sort of scoots around you like a CNC router Leaving designs Let's look up young Paula Abdul here so we can get her out of here She was a Laker girl Young Paula Abdul's asshole and pussy Yeah, look that up Let's style that up She was married to Emilio Estevez?

She was Wait, who's that again? Alright, now I remember Emilio, her father was Harry Abdul Now that's a threatening name Harry Abdul My name is scary Abdullah Scary Abdullah

My name is scary Ahmed Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and search Paula Abdul Nude Muslims are really, they're gonna have to do another 9-11 Is she Muslim? She's from Syria That's Muslim Or at least Harry was She could be Christian

That's true Yeah, but Muslim, you know what we mean by Muslim What do you mean? She doesn't mean any brown guy It's not Latino or light-skinned Yeah Straight up now, can I see your fucking penis, I'm horny Is it the tooth fairy or the teeth fairy?

Tooth Okay Who's the teeth fairy then? There's no teeth fairy I think it's a colloquial thing I don't believe it is That's the funniest of all the magical children The tooth fairy?

Yeah, the fake He's a gay guy He's a gay dentist What the hell? Sorry dude, I went too far there You honestly went too far? I shouldn't have said that She looks real Middle Eastern in her high school pics

She probably has big eyebrows, huh? No, just her hair Honestly, I would smash, no problem Honestly, right now, I'll smash Yeah When she was sitting on those Mexicans during... What the fuck was that movie? The Borat

The gay Borat? Bruno When she was sitting on those Mexican guys on... Oh my God So fucking funny Yeah, the human furniture And how about this, Paul, you can sit on another part of me My back or my cock

You want her to sit on your back? Well, like the guys The cock on your back or a pussy Like a little blow That'd be cool I don't want a pussy Even a cock on my back I want to watch...

If someone's sucking my cock, I can't see it It doesn't really do that I'm a very visual guy Half of it is looking at her second cock Dude, she has a lot of involvement with the police Yeah A lot more than you would expect With a name like that, you gotta prove that you're...

Oh, guess what? Abdul is observant in her Jewish faith Oh, what? She's a Syrian Jew She's a Syrian Jew who her family immigrated to Brazil His mother is... Her mother's Canadian with Jewish roots Oh, because you're a mom

And her dream is to go to Israel for a real holiday Oh Now we understand how Paul is stuck around in a dream That's her dream You're literally a rich person My dream is to go to Israel You know, be a fun sitcom Like a Norman Lear sitcom

Is a Jewish family that leaves You know, Nazi Germany in like 1933 And they moved to Argentina And they're like We'll be safe here And then 10 years later They got some new neighbors Guess who's moving next door

It's Adolf Adolf's next door Adolf's in front of a live studio audience Now the heroes are in Argentina And we can't convince... They learned Spanish, we didn't So they're telling the neighbors about us Damn, dude

Oh, yeah, shout out to... What was that guy's name? Herman Mueller Who was like a power forward for the Spurs Who was Argentinian But his name was Herman Mueller And he looked like he was a 6'9 blue-eyed... There's a lot of that shit The funniest of the white Argentinian

Clearly this person was a Nazi Bullshit was when There was that one... That white Argentinian girl Wrote the article about Hillary Clinton Her abuelita Yeah, my abuelita Oh wait, Herman Miller...

That's a chair company But I thought you said Mueller Maybe it is Mueller I love the Mueller report We wish you a Mueller Christmas It's so nice knowing all those guys Are gonna die of monkey pox On SNL?

No, no, the Mueller Christmas video Maybe... I don't think I was thinking of Thiago Who the fuck was that guy? Maybe he didn't play for the Spurs Well, I mean, the funniest... Obviously authentic Brazilian Um, Giselle Bunchin

Yeah, yeah, yeah Who the fuck was this guy? There's this guy, the goalie for Liverpool Allison Becker Becker He's just a derby Did anyone watch that show? I did

Really? Yeah, his best friend was a blind black guy And he was cool It's weird because I remember that show being on forever I remember that being like, I was like, I'm never gonna watch this I feel like it was on a lot Not like you try to watch it but it's just on It was on a lot

Yeah Becker got himself some pussy too Dude, Dancin's got some sauce Becker, let's look it up Let's maybe play a video You wanna watch an app? No, I mean... 1998 to 2004

Oh, and he's got the Joe Harari haircut Who the fuck am I thinking of, bro? Who the fuck was that blonde guy? Fuck Ted Danson Alex Dessert That's the name of the black guy Sounds awesome

Severio Guerra Howdy Winston, Nancy Travis Mondays, am I right? I'm just trying to... Oh, it is Tuesday That fucked up my whole day My whole week, actually What the fuck was this fucking guy's name?

Boris Becker Tennis player? He just went to jail He did For not paying his taxes Who did? Boris Becker Who the fuck is that?

He's a famous German red-headed tennis player I gotta add my pictures of him all over the room That's not true, it was posters of this guy No, you know that's not true You know I'm an Agassi, man I love Agassi because he was wearing a weave You're not a man at all What are you talking about?

Prepare yourself to be misgendered, my friend Don't you dare On guard, man People talk about how painful it is for trans people to be misgendered But what about cisgender people? Was it Walter Heinrich? Yes, Walter Herman Heinrich

Is an Argentine former professional basketball player? Walter Herman That was his name You know what's funny? He was born Walter Herman Heinrich He had to drop the Heinrich That's so fucking stupid Some of those Nazis, they had even like

super Nazi names Because you would think Hitler would be the apex Of course But then guys that are like Hadric Haithart Dungeon Wolf Yeah, I guess he never actually played for the Spurs I just thought he did

But he was on the Argentinian team He played for Charlotte and Detroit He was only in the elite two years And then he played in Europe His name was Walter Herman Heinrich A 6'9", 225 blonde hairs Argentinian wink wink Oh fuck

I have to shit Should I shit in your house? You absolutely should Did he give you a little taste of your own medicine? You can You can, but just leave the door And I are Argentinian You guys can have fun with that one

Are Argentinian? Yeah, hard Argentinian Hard Argentinian Yeah Something smells like it's burning I don't know, it might be from outside I think yeah, outside I have a window open

What do you think that is? Garbage? Sometimes on my block there's a garbage whiff Lady, good dive or something fucking hell Show us your pussy Jonah Vaughn Lady, good dive, we're horny for pussy Let me see this, let me see Maud's pussy Let me see your pussy baby

Maud Oh, Becker was a doctor Yes, I knew that, I said that already I forgot I wasn't listening Dude Don't disrespect the Beckman like that You got six seasons out of that

Four questions for Harmony Becker In Publishers Weekly This is, this sounds like good content Alright, let's Harmony Becker Well, obviously she's the author of Himawari House by Harmony Becker It's a manga for young Asian American girls Asian American author and cartoonist

Harmony Becker illustrated George Takai's acclaimed graphic novel They Call Us Enemy before writing her debut graphic novel Himawari House Himawari House Which originated as a web comic called The Himawari Share The book tells the coming of age story

of a Japanese American girl reconnecting with her Japanese heritage while spending a year You know, it's funny because I remember reading stuff like this as a kid I remember reading about Japanese kids in internment camps and having emotions and empathy and relating to it

and thinking like, you know, it's weird because we're all people or whatever Now I'm an old man, I'm like, fuck these kids Fuck this book We should have dropped the bomb They should have dropped the bomb here too We should all be dead Yeah, that's badass, dude

You think that has to do with age? I think it is I think you mature and you realize, you know because it's like the classic saying if you're not a liberal when you're young you got no heart and if you're not a suicidal drug addict

by the time you're 30 years old who just wants a gun to just really make some real kind of noise before you turn it on yourself Right, you want to get your money's worth though The gun was expensive

Yeah, that's Mark Twain, I think Well, Samuel Beckett That's actually the log line of Harmony's Beckett's the show Idiot, you're right Don't try it out, tidbit Mark Twain and Beckett

Can you tell us Ted Danson and Mark Twain? Ted Danson with gray hair and Mark Twain are very hard to keep apart Tell us a bit about the inspiration behind him I wanted to write something I knew and I wanted to explore something that maybe wasn't a super common experience One experience I've always had a hard time

relating to death though is how intense the immersion experience into a foreign language is I moved to Korea for a year and a half My mom is Japanese I just thought, what do I know a lot about Well, this is interesting because this is being presented as like a diversity story But this is the Japanese

oppressor moving to Korea Yeah, they fucked up Korea I don't understand why this is supposed to be a story about immersion No, you're the colonizer Mayo-ass, Japanese Kupu-mayor, what's that mayo called?

Kupi? That's what we call Japanese people Kupi-mayo-asses coming into Korea Western media has a manchuria of displaying accents in a negative way but your graph now

treats accents in a respectful way and not for comedic effect What are they even talking about? Like a snooty French waiter Is that what they mean by? I think they mean probably 30-40% of the show There's nothing negative about it You would say every time you do a Chinese voice

it's a celebration of the culture I would say it's funny, that's not negative It's funny because different people sound different to different cultures and what they're saying But I hope that China's laughing at us I think they are

the way we sound I think it's respect Because it sounds different, that's funny You see that famous video of a Chinese guy It's like Adam Friedlin Ching Chong

Ching Chong I do have a lot of fans Adam Friedlin Have you seen that video of the guy being like I think I'll use my credit card It's a classic Do you have anything non-dairy?

Like a hamburger Shout out to He's not Asian at all He's from England There was an exchange student in my college and his attempt at being American was like I'll have a hot dog

Hot dog hamburger That shit is always funny when you ask a foreign person to do an impression of an American It is hilarious Half of Hollywood My cousin was like Where is my dollars? That's funny

Where is my dollars? Where is my dollars? Yeah The phrases they land on There was a Belgian kid in my college who was like Cowboy Spaghetti He's like I am learning your curse words

and we're like what He's like You are a bomb You thought that was a cuss It was cute Shout out to Nico Good boy Shout out to the Merovingian

She's like wiping your ass It's like wiping your pussy with dog shit It's like wiping your pussy with cake I think that was a line there Wiping your pussy with cake Nio, I must show you something You see the dumb bitch sitting behind you I have just invented a cake that makes her pussy ticker

Watch Watch Watch how pussy makes so much cum that she her pussy farts because of the code Thank you That's the Merovingian

That was a scene from memory entirely My acting My acting is getting pretty good Nio, I see you brought your girlfriend I have many girlfriends because I am fucking a French guy

So I sound like a fang I'm a robot who loves pussy I went to a restaurant How did they even come up with that? That's my source code too Going to a restaurant to get pussy A pie that would taste like pie

and also make a girl's pussy wet That's how you get all your hypotheticals I might try to rewatch The New Matrix again No dude, it's not worth it It was really upsetting I was trying to figure out what the movie felt like and it feels like you can tell

Lana did not want to write the movie and it's just frustrated at having to write another Matrix movie the entire fucking time Honestly, I see where she's coming from What is the last two years of this podcast? In fact, you could say the statement

I just made is entirely projection I don't think, yeah You could make the claim that that is I think she probably wanted to make the movie No, I think the studio kind of like bullied Look, either we're making it or you're making it We couldn't tell a man what to do You're making dumb bitch

You better get in there and sew us a new movie Why don't you cook up a new Matrix movie It was cool when they... You know there's probably some thick head studio executive that said maybe you could do something about being trans You probably got that note

over What if you did a Matrix about being fucking trans? What if there was a trans? What if it could really explore that and thought about being... maybe you could do a new movie Maybe you could queer it Maybe one of the plugs could be

in his penis Maybe the plug turns his penis into a plug Maybe he could get his penis cut off and turn into a plug No, you can't fire me, I'm Jewish I can't be fired, I'm sorry That's not how it works It's 100% I was in the IDF, you can't fire me

I was a homosexual IDF soldier I am basically trans here Yeah, I'm basically one of the The only ones who hire the hot IDF bitches, you ever see them? They rock, awesome I would love to get some of them

Hollywood has been purged of all its juice Nice try They called it Crystal Nucht 2 when Harvey went to kill When Brian Singer and Harvey They called it the Night of Long Knives The sequel number 2

Number 2 Ah shit, I fucked up Bluetube.com Bluetube makes your dick hard Bluetube It's a pill Then here's what When were you watching traffic earlier?

We were just watching traffic My daughter's gone to the hood to take dick pills She's gone to Black neighborhood to take dick pills It is cool when they just make it into that other movie Sicario

He's trying to get his daughter back from being a whore Sicario is like 20 years after traffic, isn't it? Yeah, but they're the same kind of movie It's like Sicario, I haven't seen traffic My dick is too hard to have ever seen it Fucking Paul Schrader movie with George C. Scott, what's it called? Bluetube.com, if you haven't seen Sicario

Check it out and while you're watching it Think about going to Bluetube.com and picking up some dick pills Sicario is brought to you by Bluetube I actually rewatched Sicario, I never saw the second one Day of La Fiesta It's very funny because

the guy that wrote both Sicario Hell or High Water and that show Yellowstone Dads love Yellowstone He's also on Sons of Anarchy He's like a guy that's like They're good, they're good

But it's like I don't know how to explain it But the Anarchy is also good television But then you watch interviews with the guy that made the thing and it's like this is a mentally disabled person But he wrote the shit out of that show

Sometimes that's what it takes Some people are just good at stories and doing things Right shit that's compelling He wrote all that shit, same guy Yeah, Taylor Sheridan I haven't read any interviews with him Did he know how to ride a motorcycle?

No, no, Kurt Sutter wrote Sons of Anarchy Taylor Sheridan is on Sons of Anarchy as the local cop Oh, he's an actor He's an actor also I think he started off as an actor and then transitioned to writing Hell or High Water is a banger I love that movie dude

That fucking the Comanche scene is awesome I like that even better in the Casino, yeah, so sick He's crazy Comanche means enemies with who? Everybody He's like, you know what that makes me?

He's like, make you a fucking I don't remember that part Ben Foster's like, that's right It makes me a fucking Don't you forget it Because now we're with each other I don't actually think they said that You're a

I'm a Everyone in this whole fucking casino is a I'm gonna go down to the bank I'm gonna stick a gun in their face And when the cops show up He's gonna say it did it because who else would That's right Don't you and your Native American

Ass better not forget it I'll see you in heaven Yeah, your indigenous first At the banana buffet pal Me and you in line In heaven I really don't think he said I don't think that was from it

I'll see you there, Hell or High Water That part was cool I'll see you in heaven, Hell or High Water Is that what he's saying? I was gonna say Come, Hell or High Water I'll see you in heaven, pal

Mr. Comanche I really, really, really remember that scene Well, I'm talking about the Screenplay I read the screenplay I know you've been trying to get into that writing I've been reading Taylor Sheridan's Screenplay

Sicario also a good one I haven't seen Yellowstone though Yellowstone? Yeah, it's pretty good Kevin Costner is like Let's hear it You wanna know what I like about Yellowstone?

I'm the only here Nobody can tell me differently Who's gonna stop me? I decided I'm the d*** of Yellowstone That's right One man taking it upon himself to be the only Yellowstone

Kevin Costner I had no idea That's what I mean there's a common theme in a lot of his work of his work where there's a white guy that insists Claims he's the N word This guy going around saying he's black

I didn't say I'm black I said I'm a d*** There's a difference And don't you forget it, Come, Hell or High Water He uses that phrase a lot Why are you saying that? We're in Yellowstone Come Yellowstone or High Water

Don't you forget that I'm the f*** at bluetooth.com Oh yeah If you love sex you'll love Yellowstone and bluetooth.com If you're a recently divorced man whose wife left you and a combination of old age

poor health and heartbreak have left your cock completely useless I almost re-upped I was about to re-upt I'll subscribe They used to give it to us for free and then I was buying it myself How dare they

I just subscribe to the top tier plan and then you get way too many dick pills So you just have one month? So you have a stockpile Now they offer like 9mg to I don't know if you remember that should start with like 3 or something Dude you gotta keep your tolerance

It's the tolerance I was like is this safe I'm sure they know what they're doing I mean yeah they do They know what they're doing That's what I like about it Don't think about it But I went on Reddit

There's a bluetooth reddit I guess they're a whole community now I think it's all the come towns But I saw this one post It was like do you tell your spouse or whatever Those guys are like I haven't told her yet but things are getting pretty serious

I don't know It's like what kind of gay world do these people live in That fucking like That a woman will be like hey guess what I have a pill so you don't have to suck my dick for an hour Yeah While I watch Yellowstone So go to bluetooth.com

and tell your wife Tell your girlfriend No awkward visits to the doctor No waiting in line at the fucking pharmacy A hard as dick Chewable tablets sent directly to your house To discreet packages That's my favorite part

Cause there's other cock Enhancement brands You get it it's big envelopes Mister soft dick You want to make sure to use promo code Come Town or Come Town 20 First order free just pay shipping And it's only five bucks folks

Five fucking bucks for a free month Adam where did you get this plan I got it on craigslist From An office was getting rid of it It's like a jungle in here It's really big yeah It's dying too

You need to take better care of it You need to take better care of it It's so funny to have a giant plant like that It looks like we're in the zoo I like it honestly I will have it too but it's clearly dying It's not clearly dying It doesn't look good I have to be honest

Okay the plant was sad When you move a plant it gets sad and then it comes back And it's come back You've lived here for years I have lived here for a little bit over one year And I've had that plant for less than a year A plant gets sad You got your copy of Alice Neal's painted truths

She's a good painter I have to say She's one of my favorites And there's truth painted You should look at the painting she's pretty good Yes my next film is a movie called painted truths It's not my book it's my girlfriend's It's a modern western About a painter

Yeah In New Mexico Who finds out he paints a picture That the cartel is offended by Oh no And he has to reinvent himself Where is he exactly He's in New Mexico

But it's mostly a white community It's sort of ex hippies and stuff But he was No Latinos there No he was He's painting now because He was in Afghanistan Oh to deal with the trauma

Yeah so he's painting He had nothing to do after high school And he was pissed off about 9-11 So he went over there And his call sign was And I don't know why they let him get away with that But that's what his call sign is His call sign in the army?

Yeah So there's a trucker in Afghanistan For the army And there was There was a black guy in his unit It was like man you gotta pick a different name You can't be that We're supposed to be on the same team here

He's like well you gotta take it up with the general Oh the general gave him that name So his friend went The general raped him The general killed him And so he's like now out of respect for my dead friend I will never To honor him

Which he hated He hated the name And now the cartel Is after me also And so I'm gonna show them And I haven't used that I haven't used that name Since my friend died in the army

Oh he has to bust it out But now the cartel is after me I gotta let out the d*** in me And they're gonna show me I'm not just some painter They got mad at my painting They got mad at my painting But in fact you're a what But in fact he's what

He's a d*** Call sign Call sign Lost desert day lost revenge Yo so That would be a pretty good movie Call sign Call sign

Say desert Lost revenge Lost revenge Looks like a good movie Who wrote that? The man Cannot stop He's so prolific

He's so good Yep It'll change your life But don't think that It'll afford you the ability To say that word in public You've always had that It's in your heart

If you believe it You have the past If you believe in yourself It's kind of like Peter Pan Remember in Pan Imagination Where he tries to see all the food If you say it and you don't have the power

We can't help you So it's up to you man Big risk high reward High risk high reward You can have to believe you can fly I believe I can say I believe I can say the word I think about it every night and day

And I GG I'm gonna say I'm gonna say that word Say that word Big black church choir I would say the word Say that word That's what's playing in a come towns fan's head

Before he says it and gets the shit kicked out of him I would love that dude I would honestly love that It's some retard who loves the show Being like I can't believe I can say it And then just being beaten to death Like the post office

By a woman And then his friends reaching out and being like You really like the show I'm locked Can you give him a shout out dude He actually dies Take the n-word Garbage

So go ahead Fuck around and find out boys How about you guys fuck around and then So fucking true Adam My next film is actually about a guy Trying to listen to a podcast while in Iraq And he got it's a follow up to Call sign

It's a follow up It's a sort of a Spiritual companion to Oh I see a spiritual sequel Like Yo Jimbo and Sanjuro Sort of a companion film And I out fuck You know when you like put too much like pressure

On like a nail for too long And then you like touch it the other way and it hurts You did the electric shock dance I just did that to myself What was the second movie you said? Yo Jimbo and Sanjuro I've actually never seen Sanjuro I just know it's packaged with Yo Jimbo

So that's just what came out of my mouth What's Sanjuro? What happens in Sanjuro? I have no idea I've only seen Yo Jimbo Yo Jimbo rocks dude You know who to take a sort of Put their spin on that is Taylor Sheridan And he's like we started with Yo Jimbo

Landed on the last samurai Basically But the twist is instead of a samurai He thinks he's the last The first No it's called the first In Japan The first one

Just that final scene on the battlefield Against the Gatling gun and it's a bunch of Just guys in like shredder outfits And then Tom Cruise spinning like a watch Chain You know fucking Steve Harvey It looks like the mask

And he's like Y'all got a machine gun now Damn I didn't see that Is that the end? Yeah that's the movie I was never going to see that I might watch it this afternoon Why not dude

You got our boy Ken Watson No he's good He's my favorite Dude Friday Top Gun boys Oh my god really Apparently theaters Have been giving it standing ovation There's a new Top Gun

Did Brockheimer do it? I don't know but Tom really flies The planes apparently Yeah dude he's amazing He does everything He's the coolest guy of all time It's really weird his career became I'm the most realistic action guy

In the world It's strange I think that's the way an actor Matures into Not at all He could be actually acting instead of jumping off I'm happy he's doing it I think it's what he likes to do

I think he likes the stunt But he had a bunch of like fucking Oscar type Can you do me a favor And pull up a little something on your phone He's never won an Oscar right Okay yeah Their website is on Himawari house is filled with many specific Asian references

Smidge wallet is a wallet about your guy's dicks Cause it's just a smidge of penis Snacks to media There is even a part where one of your characters Referes to herself as Miso Soup Were there any instances you drew From your own experiences that made their way To the pages of your book

That was actually a real thing that happened Except you wanted her name to be Oatmeal One of my Korean friends came to the US And one of my friends and I asked her What's your American name At first she wanted her name to be Harry Like from Harry Potter And we told her I don't know if people are going to go for that

And she said okay what about Oatmeal I really like Oatmeal I was like I don't think that's going to work Oatmeal's a sick name Yeah she could just turn into Like a big titty Asian burning man bitch Exactly and I just say you're non-binary Literal dream girl

Just fucking big titty Korean I'm going to start crying Sounds awesome Well I paint the picture you know As an actor As you may remember from my work as the Merovingian As a writer

The My work as the Merovingian My work remembering the Merovingian's lines And saying them on my podcast My acting work My work as the Merovingian My work as a writer And recalling Taylor Sheridan's

Rough script for Hell or Hell or Hell Call sign Call sign B Call in the N word Los Revengiosto Desert the Desert the

Alright we ready to talk about Rich I can't wait So we believe people care People carry too much every day So they saw the bulky wallets They crammed them with receipts and gift cards And thought enough is enough So they designed the rich to focus on design

Functionality a wallet that's minimalist Without being limiting So you can carry less and always have what you need So they started off with a simple goal The wallet they wanted to use Ended up redefining What people carry every day so what's next Cards for the rich team

A machine learning wallet that automates the process Of making irresponsible purchases Maybe probably not but for the time being They're focused on providing great products To great people And they're glad that we're on board We're so happy to be on board So here's the thing you can contact them

Whether or not you want to give them a brutally honest opinion Or tell us about their Questionably dangerous weekend adventures They would love to hear from you That would be something So give them your best at teamatridgewall.com Here's the deal folks They got wallets, they got everyday carry

They got knives, pens, phone cases They got travel bags Weekenders, packable bags, commuters They got all this shit and Basically what they do is they strip down everyday items They're bare essentials It's minimalist They shave the pussy hairs off it

Exactly because that's not essential No That's what I always say Gotta shave the pussy hairs off it That really settles the grass on the field That's the bait in my book But here's the deal guys It started off as a kickstart in 2014

This company has exploded They have superbowl ads now And they've partnered with us this whole time And we really appreciate that So you can get your ridge wallet In different metals and shit I don't fucking know They got carbon, fiber, aluminum, titanium

Premium ridge wallets Let's get a premium ridge wallet Let's get something real premium That sounds awesome 18 carat gold perhaps? Only $225 Forged gold What does that mean forged? Oh it's aluminum infused carbon finish

Oh that's cool They're forging it in fires Men Have you watched Yellowstone? No I've never seen that I've watched a couple of episodes of it I don't understand I don't like get Well what I heard is that Kevin Costner's character

Carries a ridge wallet Isn't that true? That's where his name comes from It's because it costs money to have a wallet I believe he carries the burnt titanium Because a wallet costs money It costs more And then he carries the burnt titanium

Which is a It was originally Kevin Costner It was the Costner family But they shorned it at Ellis Island Did they? What kind of name is that? Well his family They were expensive slaves in Italy

And when they came over Yeah Ellis Island I did not know they had slaves in Italy The two drunk Irish guys At Ellis Island who pranked every European family In history By coming up with silly names

They were like nah we're gonna get fired If we let this guy through This one's two on the nose They're gonna know that's us Oh and guess what guys You can use up to 13 characters To personalize your ridge wallet That is awesome that that happened at Ellis Island

There was a guy that was just like me That had a shitty job And it's like oh what's your name Michael SpaghettiDick We'll put that down Now there's a guy who's like Hey I'm the VP of sales At Merrill Lynch

And my name is Jonathan SpaghettiDick My family came over here In 1885 And We only recently found out that our name Wasn't SpaghettiDick I did it at 23 I did it at Ancestry.com

Some asshole at Ellis Island You know what 23 and Me Is better for guys with second families Because then your fucking nosy ass kids Do 23 and Me They connected their half siblings I don't know why anyone would do that Yeah I'm gonna send my DNA

Into a database To find out What race I am What type of white I am I mean Jesus Christ That's like And for $15 You can suck my dick Tom

What's on me recently That they're To get fence painted Adding your fucking Your genome To some shitty company I see the initial Ooh it'll be fun without realizing

Oh they're stealing your fucking data I get the original Excitement over it but then it became Very clear that it's like oh yeah And that's how you got tricked into sucking dick numerous times I didn't get tricked it sounded fun Yeah exactly And they stole your data

They stole my data We'll charge our phone You blew a guy for a time share And then lo and behold Every time you wanted some of that time At Ridgewall.com you put in promo code Come down or come down 20 Is there a promo code?

There is a promo code And you get a great discount At Ridgewall.com on their great product The finest place to wallet Dude someone told me recently that their friend Got like 10% Roma And they were like oh fucking sick I'm Italian and it's like no you're

Actually a gypsy You're one of the worst kind of people you could be I think somebody's direct family Maybe it was his dad Maybe it was his sister And They were 100% Albanian They were like

From their village Like never Nomadic people Not to be I know we joke around We flirt with racism along the show But it's all in jest But any kind of nomadic people They're not operating with a full deck

Those are probably They should be classified as a different species You mean the Roma? Any kind of nomadic people Ireland has that too Ireland has this roaming ethnicity And they just like sell pots And pans to each other and get into fights

They're just like They have like bare knuckle box Yeah like the guy from Snatch Gypsies There are gypsies And that's their like base their apes I don't think you're allowed to say gypsy Or gypsy anymore

You have to say ape You say Roma? You have to say Roma Romani Anybody that travels around selling What's that called? Oh yeah Romani Malcolm From the show Weeds

From 40 year old virgin 40 year old virgin Was he on Weeds? Maybe he wasn't even on Weeds I don't even watch that show I don't even watch that show Everybody was sucking off Weeds Like it was the best show of all time Cause it's Weed dude

It was back when Weeds still had a little more cash It's when like TV Was starting to get serious You know what I mean? It was breaking bad And then fucking every retard in the world was like Oh I think about TV I think about the TV shows I watch

I think about what the TV shows I watch Mean And how about this You get high and watch that shit And not even think about it again That's good TV Yeah that's what television was It's something that just turned your brain off

You're supposed to Watch it And form opinions And then on every single double date You have to go on with your girlfriend You get to talk to the guy About it You have to date the guy

Cause they want to have dinner together Yeah I'll have a double date But it's got to be with a lesbian couple I'm only talking to chicks I'm chilling with that butchie We're talking about replacing Transmissions I hear about this

Things that women make men go through And it's like it's time for a change What are you thinking? It's time for the men to have their own come up Our own Me Too movement If you will But this time we're the ones Using women

Of some sort of crime Okay That lands them Being used for fuel What kind of crime do you think we can falsely accuse them of? I don't know let's just jump right to the thing Where we find the way to use women as fuel Imagine that

You mean melting them down They really had a You're familiar with Tesla's Electric car product I thought what if What's the next revolution In automobiles And it's

Bitches in a hamster wheel Everyone's always talking about You want to make sure you never reinvent the wheel So what if we applied that Literally To the automobile Step one No wheels on the car

You replaced where the wheels were With naked nude women And they carry the car And You say well do you have to feed the women Or No you kill them when they're done When you get to the place where you need to go you kill them

Do you get to fuck them? There's a two-story Backseat in the car So you have extra women stored there And instead of gas stations We have breeding facilities Where we have An endless supply of

Caves Instead of gas And it's simple And it's all underground So it doesn't take up any more space The carbon footprint is zero It wouldn't go that fast though It's four women running

Yeah they're pretty They're not that good at sports or running Well obviously a lot of this is proof of concept Okay I mean when you figure out the speed The speed thing is Speed kills You would never have a

There would be the end of deadly car accidents That's a great point Yeah it would take It would take longer to get to work But just think about it you'd get to work And everyone at the job is a man So there'd be more efficiency in the workforce Right

Now would you be afraid of somebody going on fucking your tires? You just start the day Yeah but so what Then you just get more tires Now what if you fucked one of your tires And you liked it And you wanted to bring it inside You'd have to hide it in your attic

I'd be hiding women In this world Cause you can fuck a tire now No one cares So if women became a tire If they get old enough They can't be A wheel anymore

Then you turn them into a tire swing You just hang them by their neck in the backyard And people can have a go on it Right What age does that happen? You give them what you do Is you use the used women You give them to the zoo and then an elephant

Sort of knocks them around An elephant just sort of whips them around With his nose Kicks it around and they become toys For elephants at the zoo That's a great idea They do tricks with the women Fuck dude I'm getting tired

You fucking ruined your making food Made me sleep I had two cookies I'm going in the diabetic shock now That was They took a long time They did take their time It ruined my day We lost a full hour waiting for it

And it was alright The guy seemed like a nice enough dude He seemed nice Does Mike Tyson also have a book called Painted Truths Punched Truths I'm literally falling asleep on the pie Yeah you fell asleep twice

I did skanks last night Fucking Jay died Jay had a He had a seizure Yeah He started seizing for a second Then came back That's real drugs

That's not just getting high on pot It's weird to fall asleep on the pie It's like I'm just hearing your guys voices It's nice though right Isn't it comforting What if you accidentally Turn into a podcast fan because of this And then you get beaten to death

In a Dayton mall Trying to say the inverse I love that dude I love that idea Hopefully it happens Can you give him a shout out And He loves you He loves the show

He loved the show And there was nothing he would love more Then if you could just Say his name once Let me make a point of never using that name Yeah even as a hypothetical Never It just goes that's how it's always

Yeah I know this guy Do you want us to tell you a story Before you fall asleep son Honestly yeah go ahead I'm feeling nice right now dude There's a little breeze There's one to the point named Savas He lived in a magical kingdom He was the prince of the kingdom

Everyone loved Savas Why do you have to tell a kid a story Where they're royalty Well it's more girls than boys You don't tell boys really There was a little girl Who thought she was a princess But she had her mother

Her evil mother's genes And so she would grow up to become a tire And Unfortunately she was half her dumb bitch mom Man She deserved whatever happened She got it because she wouldn't go to sleep And she told

She told her guidance counselor She was being molested even though she wasn't Because she saw that on a tv show And wanted to get attention like a little girl And her father went to jail For guess what He was molested Yeah

Sad The story is too sad And then when the little girl finally admitted She was lying And it's too late the divorce already happened And because of that The mother killed herself And now the little girl has nowhere to go

But to live with her father who is regretfully Telling himself that it's family And that's more important than everything And even though this little girl Fucking made it so that my wife is dead And I got raped in prison I'm still gonna sit here and tell this fucking bitch A bedtime story

She's like already asleep Yeah He's hovering a pillow above her head Yeah he's like well I guess that's fatherhood Coming up next week On Becker That's what happened on that show Yeah it is

Taylor Sheridan's Becker Becker's about a He's like describing it It's a western doctor He's a doctor that he has to leave New York After his daughter She sees an episode of Doug

Where Patty Manez is molested And she wants the attention that Patty Manez gets So she Accuses her father of molestation And it causes a divorce And the father has nothing to do But enlist And go to Afghanistan

And then he comes back And he's still you know We know you this molestation guy You gotta get out of New York So he moves to the desert Last little bit of the west He's found and carved out And he sets up shop as a

Sort of like a frontier medicine doctor And And then that's when he's Doctor Quinn medicine pussy Yeah doctor Quinn Medicine guy who thinks he's black Cause that's sort of Always an important element in any story

Of course That's what people want now Is this an exploration of Race in America Coming up on Frontline Race Good or bad Should we get rid of the other ones

Come back next week on Frontline I'm head couple I haven't watched Frontline forever Trump really destroyed Frontline He's bad And he's an illegal president Russia did it Did Frontline do that

I don't know if they did any Russia did shit I can't imagine that they did No they would I feel like they're like pretty hard No they were like the whole thing For two years it was nothing but Putin and Trump Really on Frontline? Frontline got like lazy

They used to be the best It was good yeah The ISIS stuff was good It was the same content Over and over and over again My dick used to be the best You sucked it too long And it pruned up a little bit

You just fall asleep and die right now Your last words You sucked it too hard and it pruned up Dead I wish Alright guys it's been great hanging out with my friends Good night and good night