The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 55 – Disclaimers

Episode Date: June 8, 2017

Coming in hot off a big week in n-word news, I distance myself from n-word using culture.

Okay, hello everybody, if you're still a listener of the podcast, I indulged a little bit with, you know, reporting on Bill Maher's transgression. Free speech is what I like to call it. Look, and I don't know, I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's okay if you're quoting a white guy that said it, to make fun of him for doing it wrong. It's satire. Well, it's not satire, it's journalism. Reporting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe if you're, maybe you should look up journalism sometimes if you've got a problem with it. Now, does that mean that I don't enjoy saying it when I have these moments, yeah, it's like a win-win situation. I'm apprising people to the egregious behavior of Bill Maher, and I get a little something from me on the back end. Yeah, your journalism beat is...

A little treat for myself. It's just one word. They call it a little piece of Boston chocolate, say in the end word. It's like a little Hershey's kiss, a little Boston style Hershey's kiss. A Boston truffle. Yes, well, so, you know, you were offended, fuck you, this is a podcast. Real ass podcast, yeah. I live to offend people, okay?

That's why I do comedy. Yeah. Not to make people laugh, to make them mad. Yeah. That's my thing. That's why we're... That's often... That's why we're friends.

You actually, my sort of... I love describing my comedy as brutally honest. Oh yeah, dude. No holds barred. My fucking headshots? I got caution tape around my mouth. I got police tape around my dick. The police are like, wow, this guy's jokes are criminal.

They're weapons of mass distraction. That was Tom Myers' album. Words of mass destruction. Words of mass destruction. Oh yeah, baby. Oh yeah, dude. Oh, the Myers. Insane in the brain.

Actually, two of the tracks on the album were just Cypress Hill. Hey, Cypress Hill let him do that? Yeah. He's really good friends with them. He is? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's actually, he is.

It's fucking weird. That's really strange. Yeah. I don't even remember how he, all I remember from him in 98 Rock is them just trashing him. Well, how it started was Mickey would buy ice cream at the 7-Eleven that Tom worked out. That's so mean.

That's how to Mickey. Yeah. And tried to run a string of vape shops. Did he? Yeah, did not go well. That's hilarious. Does his brother still own or book? Manage the factory?

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. Man, it was so funny when I took a bus down there and you get off, you get off that Chinatown bus and it's at that shitty, like, motel, the best Western. Yeah. And then the motel, like, just says, like, comedy fact. I mean, I was like asking one of the ladies, I'm like, oh, is it, you just sell tickets

for the comedy factory? Or she's like, yeah. And I was like, and then is there like a shuttle to it? She's like, no. It's right here. Yeah. I'm like, oh, they opened a second one? She's like, no.

Yeah. Yeah. This is it. It's now just in, like, the conference center. Yeah. Yeah. It's a shame because, like, the original club was, like, cool as shit. Well, it was downtown.

It was downtown Baltimore. It was in fucking Power Plant. No. The original one. Oh, the one upstairs of Overbrook. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That place was cool. That was, like, such a cool looking room. Yeah. I never went there. Yeah. I only did the one in Power Plant. Yeah. But, like, the vibe of that room was very cool.

Who'd you work with when you were in that? Never. I just did the contest. Oh, right, right, right. The funniest person in Baltimore contest. Oh, yeah. I think a homeless guy came in second that year. And then they were like, he literally just wandered in off the street.

And... That's cool. And then they were like, all right, we're never going to do this. Well, yeah, your random homeless person is so much better than a bringer open mic, like, contest comedian. That shit fucking works. That's how it would work. It's like, yeah, it was a bringer contest.

And... But every audience member would choose three people. So everyone would choose their friends. And then second place, they're like, let's put down the homeless guy. Hell, yeah, dude. That's funny. He probably had some bits. Yeah.

Now, I remember going to see Andrus there. That was the first show I ever got paid to do, was I hosted for Norman and Andy Andrus. I don't know Andy Andrus. He's funny. He's from Baltimore? No, he's from Eugene or fucking... Oregon? Yeah.

Oh, hell yeah. Oregon, shats out to Oregon. Yeah, it's from the Pacific Northwest, I guess, but yeah, that was the first show. I got paid like $45 or something. Were you 17? Yeah, 16 or 17. I think it was like six months in the comedy, so it was probably 17, yeah. Man, get paid gigs.

Big boy. Big boy. What was your first paid gig? It was... I went to... This guy, E.J. Edmonds, ran... He saw me at a bringer. I thought he thought I was the best to come.

I did a bringer and I crushed because it's all your friends, you know. In Baltimore? No, E.J.'s landing with Irwin, the greater we know. You know what's funny is like, E.J.'s was a place... Me and this other guy used to just go hang out at after... Because I used to run the college perk open mic. Oh, I never made it out there. That was like my room.

It was cool. Oh, shit. I took it over from this other guy who, like, coincidentally lives two blocks from here. What's college perk? It's a coffee shop and college park. Yeah, when friends, when Ross and Rachel went to college... And no one knows your life is gonna be this gay. Suck my penis?

Yeah, and... Man, this is just turning into like an open mic history. Do you think people connect with this? Softcore history with Dan Carly? Yeah, softcore. I think the people that listen to this podcast that are like, you know, pursue comedy at the... I mean, I guess... To delineate between the open mic level and like a real comic is sort of a bullshit distinction anyways, but...

Yeah. You know, I don't know. I think like... Yeah, some people do. I love what you call... Who cares? You're not fucking talking. I'm saying something.

That's the point of the podcast. Hell yeah. We feel a fat hour. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, never mind. It doesn't go... People aren't gonna connect with this. I guess we'll sit here in silence.

I wasn't criticizing this. Why are you trying to make a fight out of nothing? I'm fired up, dude. We're starting to get cold today. I took a bunch of zinc. Yeah. Oh, you took zinc? Yeah, I always take zinc.

It does nothing. That's yeah. It's worthless. But it tastes kind of like orange. Yeah, it does. But it's kind of tasty. I feel like if there's any possibility of like a placebo effect or whatever, I might trick myself into...

You know, I don't know. That's not like that. Yeah, that's what I do, but I just fucking... I do that shit with fucking methamphetamines, dude. That's what I think the Adderall is. I don't know if Adderall is actually helping me. It is. I think it might be the fuck...

Because I'm fat as hell and I'm only taking like 10 milligrams or some shit. Do you take a fatter all? Yeah. What? No? Okay. I take Adderall. Yeah, they should make a fatter all to help fat people concentrate on the foods they're

trying to eat. I need no help concentrating on the foods. If I could stop concentrating. There's just a freight train screeching to a halt behind you. Just sucking each individual seed out of a strawberry. Thank you, fatter all. No joke, though. Adderall is kind of...

The one thing it has been doing for real is making like my appetite go away, and it just feels like a normal... I feel normal, dude. I could just walk past something. You do look like you've lost a little bit of weight. Yeah, you do. I'm trying to fucking tone it, baby. I've been saying that to you for years.

Well, dude, did you find that old picture of us at Betsy Ball? I'm lying. You did. Dana sent it to me. Yeah, dude. I didn't realize how fucking fat I was, dude. You were morbidly obese. I was like three.

Yeah, you were... 315, dude. You're waddle. You're baby waddle. I know, dude. It's not as bad anymore. I think when I first became friends with you, you had a little bit of a... Dog, I was going side to side.

It was like that... I was barely moving forward. It was like that walk, that sketch that Beck did on SNL with the ball. Yeah, I didn't see that. But I had a... And I still... I had and I still have the most embarrassing thing about being fat. You look like you were like trying to stop on a snowboard.

You're walking around. I was trying to come to a screeching halt on a snowboard. Just on ice... I'm on an ice rink with shoes on. I'm just trying to fucking stay. Stay put. I fucking... There's always marbles around me.

The most embarrassing part about being... And especially when I was that fat was that I... And it still happens sometimes, but I have to use the same medicine they do for babies that have diaper rash on my thighs. Because my thighs are so fat. You mean the same medicine? It's just baby powder. No, it's not baby powder.

There's a paste. There's a paste that you put on babies. It's a medicine, bitch. It's a medicine? It's a medicated fucking paste that you rub on your thighs. Just use baby powder, dude. Why do you wait until it gets to like a medical intervention? It's more than that, buddy.

I'd shave. Everybody fucking shaves. No. This is diaper rash. I don't shave, dude. I got that thigh gap, baby. You do have a thigh gap. I'm an Instagram girl.

Did the guys you fuck ever put their cocks between your thigh gap before they fucking in the ass? I mean, I don't consent to it, but if it happens, it happens. Yeah, dude. A&D, shouts out to A&D Ointment, dude. I love going into the baby section. Sounds real medical. It is medical.

Why are you fighting me on this? Are you sure it's not FAD? We're gonna be FAD. Fat. Fat. Fat and dumb. But yeah, I got those fucking thighs like a baby, like rubber band. You know how babies have fucking fat?

They're little legs look like they have rubber bands. They look more like a Stay Puft Marshmallow boy. Oh, I was round. Yeah, you were around. Yeah, you were around. My fucking, my gullet, my fucking chin. The point is, Nick and I, we don't try to say it, but we're both proud of you. You're looking good.

Thanks, man. And you're gonna keep looking better, my man. I'm gonna keep, except I found out I have two fucking tears in my shoulder. I have my rotator cuff is torn, and my fucking, there's some other weird tendon. I went back to my FAD doctor, and this guy had clearly just gotten my results the second thing. The FAD doctor? He's fat as hell.

Or he just sees fat people. No, he's the FAD doctor. Yeah. Stoff goes a fucking old comedian for medical advice. Who teaches comedy classes despite having. Wait, was that in comedy? The guy named the FAD doctor. Oh, yeah.

He was this guy in DC that was like, I actually tutored Martin Lawrence. Dave Chappelle was under the tutelage of myself. Yeah. The FAD doctor. He put open mics, sit down on the stool, and like, just bomb. Because DC's filled with a lot of like, older comedians that happen to know Chappelle or whatever. Egos can't let them just admit that like, oh, that was a guy that was better than me.

Right, right, right. Who is one of the greatest comedians of all time. And you're gonna fucking, oh, yeah, I tutored him. Because he was younger than you. And you're fucking bitter about it. Oh, yeah, I knew him. Just say that. You were in the same places.

Yeah. That would make you a cool guy that people would want to talk to and say, yeah, I knew Dave Chappelle. Friends with him still or anything, but it was cool to see him around. Tell a story about him being there and being like, he was good at comedy. No, I won't respect you unless you're a FAD doctor. Yeah, I think he teaches. FAD doctor.

Should we teach a comedy course? Let's do a comedy fucking graduation showcase. We should have a Patreon level where we send you tapes. Yeah, we send you tapes. Hell yeah, we'll punch your shit up. Yeah. For $40 a month. No, we do an intensive course.

We'll cover all the, we'll cover the hard R N word. Soft A N word. Props. Props. Yeah. Pulling your cock out as your closer. I'm just gonna independently start saying that I tutored Rory Scoville and all the people I started with that are doing very well.

You're too young, bitch. I tutored Jermaine Fowler. That's good. Jermaine works. Yeah. Although he's the same age, I think. He's older, he's a little older. Yeah, and you're also doing good, bud.

I don't do stand-up anymore. Well. Yeah, Nick quit. He's trying to phase the podcast out. I'm like, I'm just trying to cancel the show. I'm an electronics guy now. I'm buying one. I'm a gamer.

I fucking love electronics. I wear golds gym shirts to the gym and get compliments from the most jacked dude there. That happened today. Did I tell you that? Yeah, you did. That was the most genuine smile I've seen in months. It was so funny because I'm in terrible shape now. Yeah.

And this dude, this is a B-line across the gym to be like, yeah, it's Hollywood, Florida or Hollywood, Los Angeles. Just a conversation. Sure. So you can either be strong or you can just wear the shirt. Wear a golds gym shirt. Yeah. I think that is a certain time of fact, I too, who rolls around with a fucking weight

belt, like the belts that you wear. Yeah. What are those pants called? No, that's not a type of guy. Yes, it is. I've never seen a fat guy who has all the gear, who has that like the lifting belt. But around town? No.

You mean at the gym? With like fucking too many gloves on. At the gym, he means. At the gym, but also. What are those pants called? Those like, they're like pajama pants. They're like sim bad kind of pants. Not Zubas.

Zubas. Zubas. That's what they are. They're like us, like had NFL sort of like cross branding. Yeah. You get like New York Jets Zubas pants. Yeah. And you can clearly see your dick.

Yeah. That's cool. You can clearly see their. My favorite look at the gym is. You want to suck them is the like bowling ball shaped guy. The like aggressively balding, you know, but he's got like hair under his ears. Yeah. He's just fucking.

I know dude. That's the funniest baldness hair everywhere. That beard beard up to his fucking like lower eyelids. Yeah. Just completely fucking bald, veiny forehead. Five foot three, three hundred and seventy five pounds. Yes. You can't really tell.

Oh, that was fucking. Andy Klein had the funniest. Mike diesel story one time is that diesel comes into wise acres and he tells Andy. Yeah. I've been working out. I'm actually. I'm actually down to point zero. Yes, I know.

And he's just like, I can see you. You're not. I am looking at you. You're fat. Point zero. That's a dead body. Exactly. It's a victim from Auschwitz.

Yeah. Ray Lewis and his prime was eight percent body fat. Oh, fuck. Anyhow. Yeah. No, that look where the bowling ball kind of stocky guy, maybe wife beaters, sometimes a polo shirt and then like cargo shorts. And then the Tim's with no laces.

Hundred percent. And then tongs out. Yeah. Tongs out doing squats. Or just doing a lot of rows with horrible form. Those guys just pulling their whole body back and forth. Yeah. I use perfect form.

Do you make noise, Nick, when you lift? No, I never make noise. I'm a scream. I'm silent. I have no sense. I do it. No noise. What I do is I make the same.

I'm a scream lifter and a scream car. I would be so good in the wild. Because you're stealth. I'm stealthy. I got no, I got no, I don't make noise. Yeah. I have no discernible scent. Yeah.

You know. You have no real loyalty. I have no real loyalty to anybody or anything. That's true. Your emotions won't get in the way in the wild. Yeah. Speak Chinese. Absolutely.

Which is the native language of the beast. The native language of the beast. Yeah. Just summoned falcons. When I'm at the gym, I make the noises that female porn stars make. So I'll just be like, yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah. That's my shit.

I'm like, yeah. I like to go there and then in the squat rack do like aerobic exercises where the tightest clothes possible. Yes, yes, yes. Like a gay guy would. Absolutely. And then you count reps. But you do it in Spanish with an American accent.

She goes, uno, jumps, strikes, quatra, sinko, sinks. And that's the best way to work out. You got to sneak in some homophobia, you know. Make it fun for yourself when you're working out. Yeah. I'll prove I'm not gay. You can't do it. I'm not doing it in a pressure.

Oh man. I like getting the gallon waters. That's how people know I mean. Oh yes. Go with a gallon water jug and just squat the bar. You know. Yes. Not me.

Uno. Dose. Trace. Quatro. Como está. Catorce. What is that? Catorce.

14 in French? Yeah. There's that song. There's a song. Uno. Dose. Trace. Catorce.

It's U2. It's U2. So from that fucking album. That was an iPod. The iPod album. The iPod album. Oh yeah. Hello, hello.

You guys are mad. Maddox. I'm gay and I wanna fuck. Maddox. Oh yes, yes. Maddox had an article when that album came out that was like the 11 worst songs of like 2007 or whatever it was. And then the first one's like something by U2 and then the second one's by U2 and then

you just realize it's the tracklist thing. Yeah. Is that the guy that I hope that they give you? No, no, no. But Maddox. Maddox like published or promoted Tucker Maxx. Oh, it's the same shit though, yeah. No, Maddox is funny.

No, Maddox is funny dude. I don't know. I don't know. Maddox is like highly influential in terms of like in a comic writing. 100% for sure. There's guys that like, you know, people now would shit on of being like South Park-ian or sort of that like, because it is the same- South Park is good.

South Park is good, but there's still plenty of people. Like people would come after me online sometimes and be like, wow, I bet this guy thinks South Park is funny. It is. I'm like, yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah. They're really good. The fuck do you think is funny?

Yeah. But yeah, I get like- The Mindy Project. People won't like say Maddox is funny now. Well, really? Yeah. That's what's annoying is like- Because like what you just said, oh, it's all the kind of the same shit, the Tucker

Max stuff. Which it's like- Oh, I just thought you were talking about Tucker Max. No. Well, Tucker Max is funny, dude. You know, he fucked. What was his thing? He talked about like fuck-treated women bad and he told stories about it.

He was a terrible writer. Yeah, it wasn't good. I read his website. It was like 11th grade, yeah. I remember reading it in high school and like, I wasn't like offended by it, but it was like, this is just bad writing, it's not funny, it's like, I'm 13 and this doesn't impress me. Yeah, exactly.

Like had set, you threw up from eating too much sushi one time. Yeah, it's like a weird uncle that wants to convince you he fucked a lot. Exactly. One time he told a story about how he fucked some girl in the ass and she shit on his dick and it's like- Yeah, she shit on his bed. Yeah, alright. Which is part of like fucking in the ass.

Yeah, dude. Shit on your dick. Yeah, absolutely. Fucking in the shit place. You're playing in the mud with the hogs, baby. Feel bad about it. I eat ass. Let that be on the record.

That you eat ass? I'll eat ass. I'm fully on board these days. I'm taking swipes of ass. I'm eating pussy from the back. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, but Tucker Max is like a popular guy for people to be like, oh, that's terrible. Yeah, but he is terrible.

He's bad. There was a part of- I forget the name of the like, back when they used to have web rings, but it was like Maddox and Tucker Max and then some anonymous person that had a website called TARDblog and they were a special education teacher that would document things that happened in their classroom. TARDblog. Jesus Christ.

Holy shit. Those fucking poor retards. Kids just trying to learn. Well, but here's the thing and this is why this is what annoys me about people is like people be like, that's fucking evil and it's like, no, it's like a cathartic release for somebody that has this thankless shit job and they do more of a retarded people than you ever will. So just it's like me reporting on Bill Mars.

Of course. You're a hero. I'm doing a service for the community and I get a little something out of it. Absolutely. So if you- It's hard when a doctor saves a baby's life. It's hard, but it feels good. You know what?

You know what? That being retarded, that's the real hard R. I agree. I think- It wasn't. That's the real- it's because it's R. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's a hard R. I think if a doctor- Oh, it's hard to do. Oh, yeah, yeah. If a doctor saves a baby- Yeah. Yeah, he technically should be allowed to call that baby the N-word. Absolutely.

Right? 100%. Okay. Oh, God, my stomach. Yeah, that's how Ben Carson got his start when he- those conjoined twins. When he- He separated them. He separated them and he called them both the N-word a bunch.

I was reading his book and there is one- he told this one story about how he- it was like- it was supposed to be to show what a good funny guy he was and it was like some guy tried to make fun of me but I got after him. He told me that shirt's so old, it looks like it was from the Civil War and I said, yeah, and your mama wore it and then it was like- and then he just painted a picture where everyone's high-fiving him and he's a funny- This is sorry, not a retarded guy? This is Ben Carson.

This is Ben Carson's brain surgeon. Oh, I went to blow my nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're talking about brain surgery now. Yeah. Yeah. We're talking about the audacity of brain surgery. That's crazy.

Do you remember when Trump went in on him in Iowa about stabbing his friend? Yeah. That was like- that was one of my favorite Trump speeches. And also- what else did he- he also- Let me interject. Said he might have been a pedophile or something? Yeah, yeah. We called him a child molester.

He called him a child molester. Now they're friends. Now he works for him. I mean, I call you guys child molesters all the time. Well, Adam does fuck children. Well, I do. Yeah, you do have sex with children. I do.

I do have sex with Korean women, which is a type of children. Well, I'm going to let you present that as your opinion, that is not my opinion. It's the opinion of the court. So you're not- Not me. Well, I- You're not going to dispute justice. I hold this whole court in contempt of it.

That's just badass. What? I have to call the judge the court. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. It's the court's opinion. It's the court. Yeah, it's the court room.

Hell yeah, dude. I'm the whole room, motherfucker. Well, he's the court. No, but the prosecutor- Wait, does that mean- You, I'm that chair. The prosecutor is the state. Yeah.

Does that mean you fuck him, though? Because if you're inside, if your dick is technically in the court. Yeah, but the court is in the state. Are all judges gay and getting fucked? What? That's- Which isn't a bad thing. I don't know.

I'm just saying, is that- Is that how, you know, I'm just following the logic. We should have fallen through on our initial plans of going to law school, you would think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in mock trial, baby. I didn't mock trial, too. I didn't know I was in motherfucking mock trial. I wish I ever had aspirations.

I didn't have aspirations. No, our parents forced us to do so. Our parents were immigrants and they wanted us to be rich. Yeah. Do you have aspirations? I have ass fuckerations. I had aspirations when I was very naive and young. After 18, I stopped having aspirations.

My true- Other than true love, I still aspire to that. Yeah. Well, you have a girlfriend now. I can't talk about it on the show, it's too important. Oh, yeah, that's what I wanted to bring up. I had a retard blog. They used to have this section where people could write in their own retarded kids stories.

There was one that was so funny to me. You know, oh man, this is great. I'll tell the story and I'll tell you what I did with it afterwards. Okay, great. So the story was like, if somebody was in seventh grade and they had a police officer come in to the class to talk about molestation or whatever, they played a video that was like, you know, if somebody touches you in an inappropriate way or whatever. And they're all watching the video and everyone's just bored.

Yeah, there's not enough bright colors. And then the video ends and they're like, okay, thanks guys, if you have any questions. And then there's a retarded kid in the class who's older than everyone else. He's just this bigger retarded kid. And he just blurts out, next door, Jimmy made me suck his dick. Oh, and they had to like take him out of the classroom. Dude, to know the phrase suck his dick and then also get molested is strange. Well, then the story turns out that the next door, Jimmy was another retarded kid that

was older than him, had been watching like unscramble cable and like acted out the scenes on this other disabled kid or whatever. The story is bullshit. You know, somebody's made it up. Yeah, if it was just, wait, you read this. I read it on TARD blog, which I assume is an acronym for teaching and respecting the disabled. They're very well done. That was great.

Well, I'm a professional comedian. But no, so I thought that was the funniest shit in the world. That's unbelievable. When I was like 30. Oh my God. When I was already kids sucking each other's dick. Are you fucking kidding me? I had Jim Gaffigan's AOL and some Messenger screen name.

Like, I don't know how I got it. I found his personal email and then added him on AIM and signed on sometimes. And I sent it to Jim Gaffigan, who's like my favorite comedian. When I was 13, I'm like, Jim, I love you. This is the funniest thing I've ever read. Oh shit. And like, he just like, you know, he responds. He's like, I'm not offended, but I have to go.

No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he blocked me. I never signed on again, ever again. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. He responded. Yeah.

He's like, I'm not offended, but I have to go. So you've had a conversation. Have you ever met him since? I did not know this story, man. That's amazing. That's incredible. That's an incredible story. It is funny.

The very early days of the internet, like, people were fucking available if you just got, like, the right, I mean, get their emails and shit. Hacking was way easier. Yeah. I wasn't like, I didn't care enough, but I had a friend that could just hack real easily. Yeah. It used to be real easy to face websites. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Because everything was built on, like, shitty content management software that was, like, free. So, and, like, most websites had, like, check out our forum. Right, right. And, like, forum software was, there was always a way to, you know, like, either cross-site scripting, vulnerability, or... Do you guys remember, this isn't hacking at all, but do you guys remember WhiteHouse.com?

Yeah, I do. When it was just going to school? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, I was trying to learn. I was in math class, you fucking asshole. That shit ruled, man. Yeah. That was an early one.

I beat off to WhiteHouse.com. Yeah. It was, like, a fucking, some kind of Middle Eastern lady with big titties and, like, brown nips. I still remember the image. I still remember trying to download this picture of a naked girl off Kaza. Dude, I would download... And then it took...

I would download this still from Swordfish. Yes. In Tits. In Tits. And I would download it, and then delete it, and then download it again every day. And then dial up, so beautiful. I would sit there, like... It would take, like, six hours.

I was rubbing my hands together, yeah. That's, like, a monkey Zen shit. Well, it was a picture, so it was, like, 20 minutes, but... I remember it took forever to download this picture, and then I clicked on it, and it was a transsexual woman, and she had a penis. I threw it in the recycle bin, and my dad found the next day. And we had to have a little talk. Oddum, did you steal my picture?

Yeah. I think that started about four years of him thinking I was gay. Yeah, for sure. My mom... I think I told this story. My mom found... I went on CrackHorses.com. Yeah.

You know, I'm young. I'm exploring. It wasn't my favorite site, but there was one video where one of the CrackHorses had big titties, although most of them were horrible. But I didn't know... My mom had never used a computer before. People of Crack. POCs?

It's a different POC. Justic incidents. These were actually, like, crack-addicted street people. Yes. Yes. And I gave it a... It was sad. Are you gonna be a cool aesthetic?

If they were not good pornoes. Crack-a-dilly. Crack-a-dilly? Crack-a-billy. Yeah, it's like rock-a-billy, but you're addicted to crack cocaine. That's good. Yeah. It's just...

Yeah. All those people just look more gaunt. Yeah. They're dick for some fucking creepers. Are creepers the shoes? Those weird shoes. Yeah. They look like orthopedic shoes.

Yeah, yeah. I feel like they drink Shirley Temples. But they call them Red Rangers. She's from the fifties? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I mean, rock-a-billies...

That's such a dumb way to look. I know. You gotta be a complete fucking asshole to be like... Yeah, I'm gonna... Rock-a-billy. I mean, the haircuts now are like half rock-a-billy. West Coast Latinos were kind of into that aesthetic, and kind of still might be a little bit into... I don't know.

You haven't been to the West Coast for a while. All of South Austin was like rock-a-billy, guys. Yeah, yeah. That's a very awesome look, too. Yeah. But it's specifically South Austin. Like South Austin... Where's it?

Mexican people? No, it's just... White people? No, South Austin was like the cool part of Austin 15 years ago. Yeah. And now East Austin is, and has been for the last, like, 10 years. So... Who knows, dude?

Maybe you've lost touch, though. What's that? Maybe you've lost touch. Maybe now West Austin is cool. No, I think it's just moving further East. West Austin is, like, expensive. Oh, gotcha. It's like an apartment in certain parts of West Austin will cost you, like, $5 million.

To buy? To buy, yeah. $5 million in Austin? Jesus Christ. Yeah, to rent, yeah. It's $5 million a month. Wow. Awesome.

You're being, like, hyperbolic. No. You mean it literally would use an apartment in Austin that costs... No, yeah, not celebrities. Yeah, because, I mean, that has, like, a tech industry. Yeah. Like, West... Yeah, Facebook's down there now.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. West, yeah. West Austin, like, B-Caves and shit. There's a lot of fucking money. B-Caves, yeah. I delivered pizza over in those neighborhoods, and it fucking sucked, because it was, like,

a huge delivery area, because, like, you know, it was, like, giant houses, so... Our delivery area was, like, nine miles. Right, right, right, right. And I had to drive, like, a 45-minute round trip for a $3 tip. God, fuck that dude. That's, like... Fuck the rich, huh? But...

No, fuck Papa John's for zoning its fucking restaurants like that. That's true, but they could have hit you up with a little more, a couple more dollars. In fact, the rich would probably just stop ordering for Papa John's if it takes that long to get their fucking pizza. I read an article... Could have given you another dollar. I've been talking about Pussy Posse a lot recently. Yeah.

And you Pussy Posse. My favorite is looking up women on Twitter mad about the Pussy Posse. Well, it's something from 1996. I know, but I've found... The people mad about it are, like, the ones that had, like, an Orlando Bloom poster in their fat bedroom. Well, yeah, because... They're like, how dare they have sex with attractive women?

It's basically... It's, like, slut-shaming, is the problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's the same thing that, like, the fucking nice guys do. And they're like, bup. These days, that bitch just dates assholes. Right, right, right. Like, how dare that man fuck hot young women instead of me?

Well, I was incredibly inspired. A woman goes to the library. That's the burn. Good one. That's a big library, girl. I'm so much more rewarding emotionally because I fucking... I watch Firefly. What is that?

That's, like, a 90s, like, sci-fi thing? Yeah, everyone says it's good, but I've never seen it. How about this? How about Rich Voss Whedon? Nice. Very good. It's buffy, the Puerto Rican Slayer. There we go.

It's the buffet molester. The buffet. Oh, I love that. Yeah, it's... Voss calls the fat people buffet molesters. And that's the fun. Like... Is it molesting?

Rich Voss... Shots out. It's buffy, but then he can't become a vampire because his teeth are all fake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's him trying to bite people. Yes, but his lisp gets in the way. His weird lisp gets in the way. There we go.

Someone do a Vosh impression. There we go. Done and done. That's not... You know, so many people have like a perfect Voss. I know. Because he's... You know, he's always...

He's on radio so much. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean... He was on A-Lot back in the day. There's a lot of people... People can approximate, but there's a lot of people that have like a flawless Rich Voss. Yeah. Like everybody can kind of do...

Like everybody has like a Joe Mackey that's just like... Oh, yeah, doing this. Oh, yeah. But that's just Mickey Mouse. Yeah. It's not actually Joe Mackey. Mateo's is good. Mateo's Mackey is good.

Mateo's a very great impressionist. He also speaks like six languages. Yeah. So... Yeah, and he's in great shape physically. He's a very... Incredible physical... Very cute boy.

Performing. Yeah, he's like doing an impression of a more attractive person by being in shape. But... But yeah, Voss, I feel like there's... It's either, you know, you nail it or... Are you gonna do this? Yeah, that sounds terrible. Yeah, I know.

It's just... You know. A lot of people have shitty Normans, too. Yeah, they just do this. Yeah, that's terrible. Yeah. No, but I'm making fun of them. It's like you saying the N-word.

Yeah. I'm not doing it really. You're right. Thank you. That's fair. Thank you, Nicholas. Man, I wanna play Twisted Metal again. That game?

Yo, yeah. My favorite part of that game is the clown. He like... The ice cream truck clown. The ice cream truck clown. He got raped in the army, so he became an ice cream truck driver. His story is that he has to do a mission to stop his head being on fire. Because his head is on fire for eternity.

Yeah, half of them were like... I remember the back stories. I remember the more from Twisted Metal Black, which sucked. That game was terrible. I don't remember. But that was the first game I remember with well done cut scenes. Yeah, yeah. I think that's the one I'm thinking of too.

DVD quality. Yeah. And it was goth and fucking like... It wasn't like fun. It wasn't that good. Yeah. It's a crazy clown. It was that Rolling Stones song playing.

Yes, this is exactly what I'm thinking of. His story is he has to do some crazy shit so he can stop having his head be on fire for eternity to be free. And then the lady who finally gets free and the lady is like, Okay, there's only one stipulation. You can't kill anyone ever again. And then he's like, Fuck that. And he kills her.

And then his head goes back on fire immediately. Yeah. That's what a fucking badass that clown is. It's insane. I remember rendering that game and playing it and just being like, This is just depressing. It was weird and fucked up. It was like a story mode. It wasn't just like fighting.

No. I remember Twisted Metal as like just being you just fight other cars. You would, but they would have in the original one, they would just have like a blah, blah, blah, you know, like on the screen it would tell you the story of like... Oh, I'd never play the story mode, I guess. So what you're saying is you don't know how to read. I can read, dude.

What does this say? Yeah, read this. What does that say? Read my lips, dude. What does it say? You tell us. No, you can read. Read between the lines.

If you can read, what are we saying to you? You're putting your middle finger up at me. Ah, bitch. That's not a word. That's, you can't, that's not a word. God is ass. Yeah, you fucking, you walked right into that one. I wanted to talk about pussy posse.

You walked right into that one, buddy. Let's talk about the pussy posse. I just thought it was funny. We're the new pussy posse. Basically, yeah. That's our goal now is that Nick and I got these really expensive hats in Williamsburg and we're planning on becoming pussy posse type. I'm also in the pussy posse.

You're definitely in the pussy posse, bro. Thank you, bro. Thank you. Who else is in our new pussy posse? The thing is, the lineup of the original pussy posse is very funny to me because I didn't know. I just thought, I just knew that it was Leonardo DiCaprio. Leo and his friends.

I'm starting off hot. Leo, of course, is your pussy posse. Leo is the hottest star in the world. Titanic. Yes. You know? Yes. How about this?

How about Leonardo DiCaprio? It's not. Imagine how fucking good at acting he would be. It's not Italian enough. Leonardo DiCaprio. Why don't we put a little two at the top of the other's name? Be proud of your heritage. So that makes sense.

Number two. Number two. Number two. What's number two, Adam? He's just going to talk. No, you definitely won't. Number two. What is number two?

Number two is Toby McGuire. Makes sense. Uh-huh. He was a star back then. Tony Deguire's of Georgia. He said it's Tony Deguire. Tony Deguire. Yeah.

Justin Guerrini. Yeah. Something like that. I don't know. I don't like his skin tone. Yeah. Who is this guy? I don't like his skin tone.

It's barely. Just saying straight up. Who is this guy? Literally, if you had said, I don't like that he's black. That's more. That's less direct. That guy bothers me. I don't really like his skin tone.

Yeah. Are you sure it was Toby McGuire? I thought it was Toe for Grace. No. Toby McGuire. Okay. It was Toe for Grace's character in traffic. Oh, hell yeah.

He was the rich kid? The rich kid that, like, read Erewid all day. Oh, yeah. That's right. I never saw traffic. I always confuse it with Crash. The worst movie on earth. Yeah.

Crash isn't the worst movie. It's just, it shouldn't have gotten an Oscar. Everyone, I thought it was going to be good as hell. Because you know, I rented from Blockbuster at the time. I thought that time was really good. I thought that Persian lady was so hot. That's the only thing I remember about that movie. I don't remember her.

Which Persian lady? Is it Sandra Bullock? No, no. The daughter. Isn't George the Jungle in that shoot? The doctor one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just remember Matt Dillon was a cop who like fingered ladies and beat up black people,

but it was okay because his dad had a tough time peeing. He was like taking care of his dad who couldn't pee good. That's also the plot of Green Mile. Which is a very similar movie to Crash. That's how you do that. Even if you're a racist, you might be doing something nice for your dad who can't pee good. Yeah, he fingered women. Actually, I remember part about the Green Mile is you're supposed to feel bad that they're

killing John Coffee because he's magical, not because he's innocent. They're like, well, we know he's magic, but we got to kill him anyway. What kind of magic can he do? He blows flies in the people's mouths. What the fuck? Did you not see the Green Mile? No, I haven't seen the Green Mile. You haven't seen it.

Oh my God, dude. I haven't, dude. What did you like? He's just seen Toy Story like a hundred times. I've seen Toy Story three times. Maybe. The doctor's office. Do you cry at all of them?

At the third one, I almost, when he played with Andy one last time, is that when you cried? That's when he was sad, dude. Why did everyone cry at that? I almost cried when they were about to get gone. Yeah, by the third one, it was weird. It's like, why is this 19-year-old kid playing with the doll? No, man. This one was sad.

Fuck you. Everyone, I know. The sequel is going to be like the toys go to college and they meet Andy's new friend. CD's filled with child porn. They're like, Andy doesn't need you anymore. He's got us. My buzz, what are we going to do about these meeting CDs filled with child pornography that Andy jacks off to all the time?

Oh, fuck. Yeah. He's just got him on the end of a fishing line and he's fucking bringing little children back into his dorm. They're only used as bait or to literally go into his ass. Anyway, what else have I seen? I don't know, man, my parents didn't like this culture. I never saw movies.

So what did they show you? Like fucked up Greek Sesame Street? Actually, I guess I saw mob movies with my mom. She liked mob movies. What? Yeah, she fucked with a godfather and shit. That's cool. But my dad, I would just watch like dubbed over, like poorly dubbed over Disney movies,

but in Greek. In Greek. And there was also a dubbed over French cartoon called Lucky Luke. And that shit was racist as hell. Have you guys ever fucking seen that shit? Of course I've seen it, dude. You have? I've seen every racist cartoon.

Dude, the Chinese characters in that shit rule. No, I actually have no idea what you're talking about. Dude, look up Lucky Luke, the Chinese characters. It's a French thing? It's French. It's about, but it's about the old West. So all the Chinese characters like, oh, look at Luke, and they just fucking have big ass buck teeth.

They have those fucking weird little triangle hats. It's pretty good. The only French cartoon I know is Madeline. Asterix and Ovelix. What's that? That shit was cool. It's about like some fucking semi-magical motherfuckers. There's a fat guy who's strong as shit and a little guy who I think has some kind of super

strength as well. You know, you and you two guys together kind of remind me of the bullies from Power Rangers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What were their names? Like Bulk. Bulk. Skull or something? Bulk and Skully.

They were bullies in Power Rangers? Well, yeah. Well, there was a fat guy and a small guy. I don't remember them. And they were the bullies. They were the bullies of the school, but they were like loser bullies. Yeah, Power Rangers were high schoolers, right? I remember that.

I remember Rita, Rita Repulsa or whatever the fuck her name is. My dad told me. Yeah, you realize how like the fucking main dude's like a bong dude. He's like a fucking, he's a bong with a face in it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Zordon? Zordon.

That's sick. That's so... Isn't that funny? How about... I knew so many guys. It was shitty like house parties that would tell people stuff like that. Hell yeah, dude. What is it with people that think that kind of thing is cool?

I don't know. It is cool. Why? It's a great observation. What? Did I tell that story? I told the story about that guy. That guy, John.

I told you. That guy, John, one time we were drinking in front of me and my friends when I was like maybe 17, we were hanging out in front of this girl, Maria's parents' house. And Maria was like 15. Nice. She was dating and Maria sucked, but I was hanging out with another friend, but 15 though. She was 15 and she was dating this guy, John. It was like 23 at the time and living in like his like Pontiac Sunfire and her driveway.

Hell. And yes. Wait, in her driveway? Because her parents wouldn't let her in the house? Yeah, they wouldn't let this fucking scum back. But they let him in the driveway? I don't know. Yeah, anyway, anyway.

Yeah, so he's getting fucking trashed and he just says the dumbest shit. And I mean like, I get trashed and say dumb shit. That's what you do. You get drunk and you say stupid things. Yeah, you used to be very nice when you were drunk. Yeah, but I, you know, I would say dumb shit. I'm not saying it would be mean. He wasn't like talking shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And one time this guy goes, well, the girl goes, tell him about the midget, baby. Oh, hell yeah. Tell him about the midget. And he's like, all right, here's the story. He's got this bottle of Wild Irish Rose. So it's clearly a signature anecdote of his. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he's like, well, it's like a midget and he's trying to get on the bus and you step over him and you just start pissing all over his head. And then we were like, this is something you, you did that to somebody? And he's like, no, I was just saying, I'll be like a funny thing if that happened. What? Like, do you not understand? Oh my God. She's just a fictional thing you came up with.

He's a comedy writer. He's pitching that sketch. Did you just say a thing that you thought, what if this happened? And what it is, it's just pissing on a midget's head. That was it. Tell him about, well, I just love that she said it out. Tell him about it, baby. Yeah.

The fucking midget. Tell him about the midget. Famous midget. You know, she left her idea. Yeah. He was giving my friend Matt a ride home that night and Matt hated him. And Matt was in the passenger seat and John was like checking him or whatever because they're both trashed and John's driving drunk.

And I don't know the exact details, but John said something to the effect of like, you realize your life is in my hands right now or whatever because he was driving, you know, and Matt just takes the steering wheel and fucking jerks it down and crashes and totals John's car. Fucking he's like, he's like, whose life is it? Destroy it totals the kids car. And then it has to just like fucking walk home with glass in his eye. That fucking rules.

I had to go pick him up in the morning. Yeah. He was that guy was insane, right? Must be insane. He was, you know, it's funny. He was like the nicest guy in the world, but like had no problem. Like he was just always in jail for breaking and entering. Oh, yes.

Yeah. He was like, probably like honestly one of like the most like giving, caring people that I've ever known, but he just loved stealing and had no regard for the law whatsoever. That's cool. He sounds like a complicated anti hero. Uh, yeah, sort of nice. Like he lives by his own code. Yeah, kind of his own showed.

And, but no, that was just, it was so funny knowing that that happened to John. That's awesome. And then like six months later, fucking, we were all hanging out at Matt's house and Matt ordered a pizza and John showed up to deliver the pizza. Incredible. Yeah. And then he just like didn't tip him. Awesome.

Yeah. He was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Dead. Probably. Dead or in jail. I mean, I wouldn't be fucking surprised.

Oh, fuck. That fucking rules. I hate that. I love when villains from childhood get their comeuppance. He wasn't even a villain. He was just like a dumb guy. He was fucking a 15 year old as a 23 year old. Yeah, but pretty bad.

What are you going to do? Yeah, you're right. Game recognized game. Yeah. He could be in the pussy posse than you pussy posse. Four people for the pussy. Who else in the pussy posse? David Blaine.

He was in it, right? He was in the pussy posse. So we need a magician. And then the one that really threw me for a loop was the guy who plays E from entourage. Oh man, I'm going to start getting, I'm going to just get into magic and then become like one of the dude magicians that does comedy clubs. Yes. You should go a bit higher than that dude.

You think Patrick could give me spots at the stand if I'm like, is this your card? Maybe. People would love it. Honestly, if you're the magic comic, you can sell out a weekend. Shut up, I'm done with it. I don't want to, if Harris is doing it, I'm not doing it. Yeah, no, that makes sense. That guy, what's his name?

Jonathan? Amazing Jonathan? He's dead, dude. Is he dead? Don't mock the dead. Yeah, he's dead. That's fucked up. Never mind.

You know what was so funny? He said the biggest was Jamie Kilstein one time fucking. He was talking about like what's good comedy and what's bad comedy and he like as an example of shitty comedy. He's like, yeah, it's like going to see the amazing fucking Jonathan or whatever. And literally like seven hours later, like the amazing Jonathan announced that he had terminal cancer and he was dying. There was this like outpouring.

Oh no. Like he's so great, he's so talented and fucking Kilstein with his shitty timing. That's so good. Yeah. Well, that's so strange that he had bad timing. Couldn't have it to a nicer guy. You know. You know what's funny is I tell that story and then we find out tomorrow Jamie Kilstein

has cancer. And just an outpouring of love. Yeah. Jamie was the best rapist comedian. He's the workest rapist. Bill Cosby. Are you what I love is that he didn't do anything wrong. Yeah, he probably just like mildly hit on someone.

No, I read the story. It was like, you know, it's like, yeah, whenever I was in New York, Jamie would be like, you should come over to my apartment. It's like, okay, what? Did he rape you? It's like, no, he asked me to come to his apartment in like a sexual. Oh, it says like a Casey Affleck thing. It's like people just not even a Casey Affleck thing.

He Casey Affleck went to the girls room or something. Yeah. Well, yeah. He was like a little bit more aggressive. Well, pro-Killsteen comedian. But obviously, Killsteen. It's like, that's what you, that's your fault also. Yeah, that was my take for a while.

Yeah. But I mean, now that it's, you know, I've stopped laughing. Time to support the men. No, no, no, this is my butt seriously, folks. We've had a lot of fun laughing at Jamie Killsteen, who most certainly deserved. Yeah, he's just gone now. He's just like disappeared. It's incredible.

Well, what was he doing before? He was on radio or something. Yeah. Well, he was Mark Maron for a couple of years. He played Maron. Yeah. Mark Maron retired and Jamie took over. No way.

You know about that Andrew W.K. conspiracy? No, that he's actually Andrew Dice Clay. No, it's that there's like been multiple Andrew W.K. Oh, I've heard of that. They replace him. Like the guy who's Andrew W.K. now like gets uncomfortable when people bring it up. Really? Yeah.

He's like, yeah, don't he's like the Dalai Lama. It's like a new Andrew W.K. Dalai Lama party. Yeah. Well, when you party that hard, dude, you can only live like two years at a time at a clip. Yeah. There's also that theory about Avril Lavigne. What?

That she died and that it's I'm not even kidding. Who's theory is that? She died. I'm not even kidding. I couldn't just let Avril Lavigne be dead. The culture couldn't handle it. All the people that have died. That's the one.

We have to keep Avril Lavigne going. That's so funny. Yeah. The conspiracy that she died like well after her prime too. It wasn't like Skaterboy. The whole thing with Andrew W.K. he was said he was like cooked up by radio or like recording executives that were like, we need something for this segment. This is the type of music we want for like this generation.

It's going to be party music and we need a guy and then they cast Andrew W.K. in that role and created a backstory for him and then after like I guess a couple years he was like I don't want to do this anymore. Interesting. And then, you know, he got out of it and they got another Andrew W.K. Huh. What even is that type of music? Like da-da-da.

It's like Arena Rock. Yeah. It's like Euro Trip Rock. Okay. It's like 2003 Rock. What's an Andrew W.K. song? Party Hard. Party Hard.

How does that party? I get wet as the album. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, he's a really good pianist. Pianist. Andrew W.K. Yeah, I think he's like a classically trained pianist. I don't think he actually is.

I believe the conspiracy. Do you believe it? Yeah. What's the conspiracy that you actually bang with? Do you have one that you think is like, are you guys 9-11 truthers? Nope. I am. Nope, I believe in 9-11.

Um... Push, push, knock down the towers. I mean, I hope we went to the moon. That would be such a fucking bummer if we, if that's fake. It'd be funny. No, that's like probably the coolest thing humans have ever done. Go to the moon? That's the coolest shit ever, that we've ever done.

And if that's, if that was faked, then... If it was fake, wouldn't the Chinese or the Russians blow up our spot? No, I don't, I don't know. Maybe, yeah, probably they'd try to. Aren't Indians going to space now? I think they are. Yeah, we're going to know. We gotta get Andrew W.K. on the podcast to sell this.

Oh, we're getting Scarlett Johansson. We did Sarah Schaefer's podcast. She told me that. Well, let's get him. But she said he showed up and he just wore sunglasses. Oh, so she didn't know if it was the real one. Shit. He owns a nightclub in Chinatown.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Santo's party house or something. Really? Yeah. But I think it shut down, actually. Someone died or something. For partying too hard? For partying, yeah.

I don't know, man, it smells like a conspiracy to me. He owns something and something happened there. If anything that proves that the Russians colluded with the Trump campaign. It's in the pedestrian emails, yeah. Actually, there was a thing that came out today that I didn't read. What? I actually, you know, smoking gun Rachel Maddow tonight. She's going to, she has video evidence of Donald Trump eating borscht in 1987.

I prove that he's a Russian. He's going to talk about it for 40 minutes. There's a thing that came out. But I think we should replace Rachel Maddow, Rachel Dola's law. We should replace Rachel Maddow with Andrew W.K. Smart. She's going to be the next one. She's going to be the next Andrew W.K.

The fucking... Guys, honestly, shouldn't we get into the elections coming up, guys? The British one. You know? Isn't it time to do our British politics? What do you think? They're going to go Black James Bond? I think so, yeah.

Is it finally going to happen? Absolutely. That's on the referendum. You're going to piss people off of Muslim James Bond. Oh, fuck, yeah. Well, he couldn't drink. Make him fucking, make him the guy Riz Ahmed. You can drink, yeah.

You can drink the blood of Christian jokers. No, that's Jewish. Oh, is it? Out of... Oh, we did it, Nick. Finally. All right, well, there's the podcast. This has all been a ruse.

We don't drink the blood. We bake it into this karma. It was all a game, Connie. Get him, boys. No, it's baked into the masses. We don't drink it out of goblets. We're not fucking Blade, dude. We're not Stephen Dorfinn Blade.

We're not having gothic vampire parties at night. Uh... Yeah, this is... There's no white in the Stephen Dorfs. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, it leaked... Yeah, it leaked... Today, it leaked that there was a Russian hacking attempt ten days before the election.

And there's a secret NSA... Whatever, we don't have to fucking talk. Yeah, dude, that sounds real. I got a spot suit. Well, it sounds like bullshit to me. I don't know, in my professional opinion, as, first of all, if we're going to be honest, the only one of the three of us that knows anything about cyber security. That's probably...

Not probably, that's actually true. No, I know a lot. I know a lot about the mainframe. I've hacked it before. I hacked the mainframe. I remember every line from the movie Hackers. I love that movie. I love that it's the world's most secure computer, and the password is God.

Wait, that was the one with Angelina Jolie's three-letter password? Hell yeah, dude. That's Angelina Jolie and Billy... What's his name? Zane. No, it was Gardell. It's her husband. Yeah.

Billy Ray... Cyrus. Davey... David Ray Davis. Johnny, it's Johnny... Johnny something. Yeah, Johnny... Johnny Quest.

Shut the fuck up. We're talking about smart things like movies. Johnny Ray Lewis. Johnny Ray Lewis? Johnny Ray Lewis, yeah. Hell yeah, dude. We were laughing, I forget. Yeah, we were watching Conair.

This is pretty funny. I love that movie. We were guys, he's like, they call him Johnny 23, you know, because he raped 23 women. But then I was laughing about the robot from Short Circuit, Johnny 5. He raped 5 women. Oh fuck. Oh, rape robot. That's really good.

That's really good. Yeah. Are we done or what? We're at 59. That's done. That's done. We went along the last time. Okay.

So that's it. That's it we're done. Yeah.