The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 70 – I Ate bad fish

Episode Date: September 21, 2017

sorry i didn't upload this last night i think i ate fish that went bad and i had to lay down

wow we just watched the big short and let me tell you I am ready to pretend I know everything about about finance credit swaps or something it's a movie about my dick it's called credits credit wife swap and it's where Adam tries to make money by letting people fuck his ass who's wife who's what you're the wife the guy swaps his wife for your ass yeah it's right Adam invented a financial what he does is people trade their wife to Adam to fuck Adam in the ass then Adam gets the wife the wife yeah Adam then the wife is wrap on it and fucks him and then yes the wife fucks him also and then they steal the

money he got from selling her pussy yeah well it's all part of my business plan to lose money oh yes bitch speaking of business plans so I reached out to Casper mattresses mm-hmm they sponsor a lot of New York podcasts and ask them to sponsor my in exchange for a mattress and they ignored my email so fuck that company that's the official stance of me I got a tough needle mattress fuck Casper which is uh all right you know they didn't give me a free mattress either what the fuck dude we should get a free mattress what I was a hundred mattress companies what I want now that I a hundred I didn't know at least nice at

least a hundred there's a hundred mattress you know what the fuck I'm talking about bitch what are you laughing there's a hundred fucking in a box I've said that there was 100 mattress companies he just means a lot have you never heard an estimation in your life I think there's more you think there's more than a hundred listen I just watched the big short so I don't joke around about numbers yeah here's a number for you five five and three quarters my dick that's yeah that's the inches they're gonna go in your ass soon yeah here's the number for you hmm three-fifths and that's what slaves were

counted as sharing the three-fifths compromise anyways so but I'm looking at Marriott Scott oh yeah you want to buy nice sheets huh well no I mean Marriott has the whole bed and I figure if you're gonna spend $1400 on oh that's for the bed one set of sheets no that's just the bedding the bedding is 1350 right if you go to shop marriott.com you click on the Marriott bed wait Marriott has a store yeah dude what else they got there they got a little little bottle robes probably robes probably those slippers they got fucking jizz everywhere shit every hotel remote is definitely covered in jizz right for sure here's my

question why can't guys wear juicy track suits you know I would be all the fuck over that yeah why not they don't make a nice size I would wear it I guess they make the lure of tracks hold on hold on which is better inner spring mattress or a foam mattress spring I mean personal preference I it's personal preference I have a foam do I have a foam you have tough to needle right either tough to mean or Casper I don't remember I threw one away because I thought I had bed bugs their foam okay yeah those are foam I mean those are like you get those online and they're like rolled up I feel like you fuck better on a spring

mattress why I don't know I I just feel like I have I don't know I feel like a spring mattress is kind of like a waste of space almost right if you slice it like a like a piece of cake there's a ton of air on the inside there yeah but oh here you go that spring that nice bounce yeah so here's for the platinum stitch bed and bedding set from shop marriott.com choose a mattress type or go foam size we'll go queen mm-hmm I don't know you don't need a king Adam's sexual you're gonna be you're a fucking idiot orientation why dude king would be nice you're like a king in New York City big bedroom for a king I mean

yeah we don't we don't have the space why they why is it called California because it's a different shape it's it's bigger though right no it's a different shape it is a regular longer it's longer but a regular king is four inches wider California King is narrower California King swaps four inches out of the width for length interesting but then there's also a Texas King which is extremely rare it's like three times the size of both oh that's real I thought you were gonna say it's like it executes retard or something no that's any that's any bed yeah I get caught up in there they can't get out no how do they

sleep if they get caught up in the bed upside down standing up like a vampire yeah they go out at night and they suck candy out of vending machines I want to suck your candy this is a real good one I want to see how specific three minutes in I wouldn't I wouldn't bank on it so thirty four hundred dollars you can get the whole thing I feel like a dummy for wasting my money on a tough to needle mattress yeah do when I could have been living like a like a business you know yeah I'll stay at the Marriott I used to stay in the Econolodge but I got HIV with air one time I got taken care of but boy I tell you never again no more

kind of logic care of don't worry about it I don't have it anymore you know I mean that's the thing about that's miraculous Ray sharky is mm-hmm he's a an actor from the 80s but he had he got HIV from sharing needles back when it was like gays only damn pause keep your mitts off HIV straight guys yep this stuff is great sharky got it and then his agent was like all right here's what we're gonna do we're not gonna tell anybody not even women that you sleep so he's just giving people a yeah he was giving like all these women age God forbid he put on a fucking condom man salute I mean I don't respect women that

he like you know that's horrible yeah he's a murderer he really but the man is a murder is committed to raw dogging yeah it's I don't respect like he gave like one interview right I would never do it where they were like asking or like so you you're just giving people AIDS he's like well the disease is a funny thing sometimes you have it sometimes you don't like no yeah you just it's not diarrhea he's just in denial until the day he died that he you know he's just damn he didn't see didn't have AIDS we're going around at 75 pounds you know Adam look at you might have AIDS dude why I mean you have the body because I

don't weigh a lot have you ever had a venereal um I don't think I'm crystal clean baby no Adam got it from sharing needles mmm sharing estrogen needles with the other fellas down at the clinic from sharing needles he fucked sharing needles the drag queen yeah thank you that's a RuPaul's drag race reference no it's a great show I've seen it I think once or twice it's very good that was a contest you Rawls drag race yeah Lou Rawls drag Lieutenant Rawls drag race damn bro so yeah you're gonna get a little bedding you know I just bought a fucking I just bought a cold brew container that's that's pretty yeah we

said we were gonna review that I haven't bought it yet but I just got it off Amazon and it works great so that's it that's a tax right off the needle send me this free mug wait seriously yeah it's pretty cool huh yeah yeah much for a $700 I just put the sticker on it oh why did you trick us so Nicholas I'm a trickster dude that's true you know you're low key running yeah we're entering my my moon face I'm a trickster I love all the trickster gods and shit the Greek the little the little satyrs satyrs yeah he was a he was like a half half man half goat and he was horny as shit and

he was a trickster it was like a little goat guy was isn't that pan maybe it's pan but I think they're called satyrs and how about this poons labyrinth and it's about a vagina that twists and turns yeah interesting you know I've never seen pans labyrinth so I think it's something about war some so yeah it is during the Pacific Rim and it's about eating out of why in girls that sounds pretty cool yeah I would like that whether it was a movie or just an activity I got to do Toro right did he yeah he made Pacific Pacific Rim goes off I forget that yeah that movie rules about gay queer mode del Toro that's

gay queer mode del homo that's very good Ryan Ryan shut my roommate is a roast battling Adam here Mel Dottoro now Adam I'm a walla and I told him he should hit joke he should use his call him Adam gay koala that is a good Ryan's gonna win that road yeah yeah I call him Adam gay koala be like what are you second you call it this flavor dicks you fucking gay koala that's a good roast bad at roast jokes you huh you can only do self deprecating humor you're bad at roast I don't like yeah I'm not good at roasting I mean I had a couple okay ones you're good at roasting I'm okay at it yeah you're fine at a

racing stage and they're like stops that it stops like ladies I love chocolate I don't like roasting because I'm not a mean guy I'm in cute I'm a nice boy you know you you you're good at roasting like doing crowd work roasting that's true yeah if it's if it's in the moment if it's if I'm you're pretty good at funny moms last week yeah that that one was insane drunk woman if you're out there holler at me you're my wife yeah honestly I thought you're gonna smash I already I did yeah I fucked you six times so that's that's the classic six time fuck one fuck for every bullet in the gun the machine gun fuck dude did the

boys I never really gave you guys the rundown from grease man don't you guys want to know about my magical trip three times and we've gotten bored so I don't know okay well guess what bitch I'm not saying I can anymore well that's that you know I had notes and everything tell us a story about George you know it's not about shoes he never bought shoes so you know and I haven't seen you open a beer with your gifts by the way Adam kept shoving that thing in his mouth beer opener and he's sticking the dick I don't know what you mean little dick shaped I think it was he said literal oh I think it was pretty average slash

small average colors too that's what I yeah like a seafoam green dick yeah like a phoenix rising from the ashes yeah like Ray Sharky's Phoenix dick shots out Ray Sharky he's the real ass dude of the week he's the real ass dude who's making those songs for Louis I don't know man yeah we need somebody to make a song for a thing I say in the middle of the show I feel like Lewis is really good at mobilizing people to do work for him for not a lot of money yeah like graphic design work and like production pays people well yeah I feel like he has like a dead he's gonna lose his crowd sourcing good about paying people but

he's not charitable there's a difference between yeah interesting what I pay people and I'm charitable like I give you guys money for shit that I should like what advertising income all right come on we get we should get advertising income job what well I mean we're not the split that it is we're selling our asses to you know I want to do a read I gotta cut all the money that Adam brings it well Adam doesn't touch any of the money yeah when I don't go on the street the money comes to me yeah you got it he's got to kick up yeah where's his taste I'm sorry daddy daddy needs his taste thanks daddy don't call me that thanks

for protecting me daddy papito it's dangerous on the street oh yeah did you watch the pimp show yet which one them James Franco pimp show no no I'm not watching that alright everyone keeps asking it looks like you review the autistic doctor show how much does it look like shit I don't know it looks weird what do you mean weird it doesn't look good what the fuck do you want me to say this period is like there's period drama it's cheesy dude recent what what's that what are those called not it's good period dramas but like mad banner recent history period period yeah it's a period drama I feel like that look as

they have worn that out and I haven't found it doesn't work anymore I have an affinity for anything that said in like shit New York like 1970s like when it looked bad yeah that's cool I like that everyone that's not cool that's not cooler American hustle was the movie that sort of that movie sucked my cock I liked it but I mean I how did you like that it sucked because it's a movie about con artists and it's a movie that does everything it can the con the mafia should have killed them at the end or whatever I don't remember but I remember had a big issue with it they got off scott free they would have gotten

got now what's good about American hustle is that it's a bunch of bad performances yeah it looks like shit and it's a gimmick but that's like the kind of the whole point they're con men and the movie itself is a con yeah listen I don't want to I don't need the whole movie to be making a point you know that's too much for me that's what I enjoy myself while it's going on the biggest the biggest play in the movie isn't like you know the heist with the sheik or whatever it's it's when you get to the end of the movie and you let a bunch of critics tell you that Jennifer Lawrence is a good act yeah she did have

the ultimate rub is you the viewer you know and the critics that fell for it and said that movie was good she didn't have it's not good if you're a critic and you think it's good you're an idiot you're a fucking moron for sure but them titties were looking at juice she's hot in that in that movie although I got pissed off and bouncing I got pissed off when I read dancing and singing and they like improv to class cleaning scene is one of the most embarrassing things I've ever seen just being an actor is pretty embarrassing it's pretty embarrassing but they're like yeah she totally improved that I'm like yeah it's not surprising

it's a fucking jarring yeah we improv this podcast it looked like she was acting like a fucking asshole and set and you just let her go you know yeah she really is too famous I just I don't like her cuz this is a pretty misogynistic reason but after the fappening leak her like official statement what what you're you're against that she didn't want people to see your fucking titties against her will yeah she's an actress that's rude dude she sells her titties all the time no but on her terms whatever I it's not the biggest deal in the world that's all I'm saying all right leak a picture your cock we're talking I'm we

like a picture your cock right now I'll do that I'm not she got treated unfairly because passengers which have defended on the show before you have she was bitching about not getting paid as much as men so she got like 20 million or some fucking outrageous number for that movie like seven million more than Chris Pratt oh damn and then everyone was like this is the worst movie that I mean the guy we talked about that we talked about it off Mike maybe but the guy that did the fappening got like 15 years yeah in jail it's fucked up insane that is so long to go to jail yeah and you can't jerk off in jail 15 you beat the shit

I mean you shouldn't steal people's fucking titties and pussies and put them on display that's not why you got 15 years it was because you got 15 year violating apple apple security protocol really yeah that's why I got it which is a point I already made Adam but now he's gonna just talk over the state it is his own opinion all right sorry I won't talk again I'm sorry thank you can talk just don't repeat something that I told you well that's why I'm why he got punished oh so you invented that yes you're the first person to say that the first person to say no it's just a fact is it some may say it did but we're

entering Adam's fact corner this tells more about the the the I'm paleo again what sorry y'all that about the cat going through the garbage yeah Phyllis is eating your your ham garbage Phyllis is a bum I didn't put any ham there's ham juice all I ate all my fucking ham is there any more ham I'm hungry no dude I ate it all I get I get I get the organic you do apple gate ham apple gate ham a big big soldier my breakfast fucking organic ham that's what they have at the store that's the only shit they sell the store yeah really yeah the bodegas here is this like cross-section of like the lowest garbage shit and like you know free-range yogurt $9 yeah yeah dude it's dusty for some reason on the

packaging yeah yeah what the fuck yeah this fucking seltzer I just bought is like covered in dust Adam loves eating dust yeah this is a fucked-up bug you're a ladybug with a fucked-up face up front and not enough spots way too much red yeah because the Indian ladybug the reverse one black spot on your red body guy ladybugs yeah that's what you are they probably all have gender dysphoria that's my new Jerry Seinfeld observational bit about ladybugs mmm sorry I try to work that into the show this week is that a real deal with trans people you can't cut your dick off that's wrong you sound like the guy

from the SNL Pardo here's me don't cut your dick off that's crazy what's the name Pardo Don Pardo Don Pardo yeah a dick's like that tag on a mattress you don't know why you can't cut it off but you can't musical guest who must think nice yeah that's nice try that's a good no I thought that I did better your favorite now I think my impression was actually better than yours I'm not doing you do most you do you do you do it's very much he's doing sign for oh and it's spot on Don Pardo no you said that's how this hold on though this started by you making fun of him by

saying it sounds more like Don Pardo now you're claiming I thought that transition he was a little down Pardo thing I thought that's on Daryl Hammond is now the fucking announcer cuz Pardo kicked the fucking you apparently there's a guy who's got ham in his name that's true Daryl Hammond apparently his life is like real issues Mark Hamel Mark Hamel Hamilton Alonzo hamburger Jones no hamburger because that's that's actual word ham it doesn't make sense come on man what do you mean come on man you know why it doesn't work hamburger you know you understand why it doesn't work that's his fucking nickname if I was named

okay okay sorry I didn't know Christian Christian because most you're saying fucking stage names probably from a Robby some some guy named Hamura the guy Hammurabi's code that's on the actor who said it has to be actors that's what we were doing Adam all right me and Nick are doing a great bit we're naming people who have ham in their name okay and you're dragging us down brother I think a lot in the show dude we're not even being mean to you anymore right stop that you and you're actively trying to derail the show but you call me a lady bug it's tough

trying to name that's a compliment well then thank you it's not an insult to save what you are literally not a buggy that's a mean thing that's like it a little guess we're just holding a mic up to its mouth and that's what you're that's what you guys are hearing talk right now I'm not a bug I'm the tallest come boy I tower over you both you don't tower over shit that's why the anger the tower over the Napoleonic anger that I get from you guys whatever dude from down in your down and I will I'm up here in the troposphere me and Kareem Abdul Jabbar you're short and ugly I'm not short and ugly yeah you are I'm

tall and handsome nope and I get more attractive every year and every year you get fatter and bolder I get he actually hasn't gotten fatter and bolder he's been the same same since I last three years yeah he's gotten less fat thank you Nicholas well I got fatter but I've lost you're ugly you've always been ugly you always will be ugly it's not true you haven't known me my whole life I was way I've seen pictures you were fucked up I was but ugly I know and now I'm cute you know now you can't name things with ham in them yeah I said Alonzo hamburgers oh my god we got I don't know how many times we're gonna

have to fucking correct this is fucked up dude you're really pissing me off right now we're trying to have a fun game to kill time with I mean we were kind of running dry honestly I went for Hammurabi yeah I think that the getting mad at me thing stretched out no I'm tired of doing that Anthony Hamilton okay that's a guy who's that Anthony hamlet up dude that's not a person singer there yes we already said Hamilton so if people keep asking me to review the show with the autistic doctor that's a show I'm not gonna do which shows that that does a show now where it's like that Toby from the West Wing is like yes he may be

retarded but he's the best doctor I've ever seen in my life and it's like you know he's doogie howser but he's yeah you know he's got a child yeah doogie howser mr that's what I was calling it mr stands for mental retardation that's good in the medical community yeah said a doogie howser md which is the name of the original doogie howser show yeah you would think there would be an easier doogie howser pun doogie seems like it rhymes with a lot of stuff but it doesn't doogie boot because sort of boogie amtrak howser no and track and some train related yeah yeah cuz he's hard he is so the autistic doctor he only

delivers babies and elevators that's a joke you could do about that show friends maybe what a network is it on let's talk you know it's probably is it on like a major network yeah it's on like CBS or ABC autism is huge right now everybody wants to have a show where an autistic guy does something not autistic we remember when we were hanging out with those girls when we when we first moved here and that girl told us about that show she auditioned oh yeah that dumb that fucking dumb bitch that's her yeah you know yes come up with one in your head that's who this one yeah oh my god actually yeah I'm just in town for

auditions in this as this shows really cool it's like there's it's about an autistic guy that can talk to ghosts I thought it was an autistic girl they could talk to ghosts and then solves crimes I don't know dude she's like a pre-cog or something she solves crime I don't know it's not like the worst thing ever and she's like yeah I think it's the power of being autistic yeah I talk to ghosts are they are the autistic ghosts I think it sounds like a pretty good show actually well like what about being autistic I don't know is that just a coincidence if the her autism gave her some superman what if Superman was

retarded hmm that's it while there is a retarded Superman his name is bizarro that's right yeah yeah no it's really funny Zorro is like he looks like literally literally a mentally retarded yeah that's he wears like a pendant around his neck that says number one yeah yeah the little other the little alien guy mr. magazine is ignorant mr. mix of pixelics yeah mr. so that was a good ass show that was Superman Superman show with Dean Kane no man which that was good too though no it's Terry Hatcher could yeah Clark dad yeah the Superman show that was like the same as the bat yeah yeah

animated series oh that was really good man they got a couple of movies animated series used to be super dark it was like he was like sad by Amber by Amber what are you doing have a good night nice nice hell yeah I love all my boys fuck yeah I'm not really in the Batman or Superman or any of that gay quote gay shit which I don't call it that other people bad guys me I'm open minded but I've heard I in passing I've heard well I've ride in the train around I've heard yeah comic books be referred to as quote unquote gay shit which yes fine you've heard it in like in large hallways when the echo of you screaming

yeah the words gay shit and really I was doing kicked out of every New York library challenge one library to the next calling the anime game going into the anime section so it's on record that I think anime is gay at every library in New York so no one can accuse me of secretly watching you yeah yeah if you if someone finds some accidental anime in your life somebody finds by netflix instant queue which is filled to the brim with we're talking ghost in a shell we're talking fuck Naruto yeah the come down huh Scarlett Johansson shout out yeah yeah our fans we thought we all thought I think I don't remember don't

talk about her that way please do not talk about I don't remember did we know we didn't know we didn't fuck we got mad at me cuz I just want Scarlett to know that I'm standing up for her right now this guy that had a fucking poster of the notebook above his bed and his dorm at GW because he had a crush on Rachel McAdams but it's like that's not the fucking yeah you pick there's also don't have a poster in your room what do you like a fucking 14-year-old girl is he wasn't it cool shit up in college have posters like that tools have the Bob Marley poster they have the reservoir dog so I'm gonna listen to the show said

that they couldn't listen to the show anymore because that was their friend they just happen to know the guy he was my my friend's roommate and I made fun of him and I think I mentioned his name guess what good fucking riddance yeah whoever's not listening suck these fucking low hanging balls you have literally hundreds of Adam has some low hangers you've seen them I've seen your nuts oh when I've been over you know what's really sad about when I lost my phone my phone that got stolen in Baltimore I had a beautiful video of my ass yeah and I wanted to edit together you got to use iCloud baby I am now I am

now is I got my fucking happening my brand new Mac died bullshit months fucking logic board fail you get a new one nope no I got to buy Apple care because they just replaced the board and all the shit in there and I mean I'm assuming it's gonna happen again because they make shit computers no they make good ones you're the only person I've ever heard my life had this problem my Toshiba I got it for $700 in its lasted years it's slow as fuck it's heavy it's like that you can't take it anywhere yeah it's like 20 pounds yeah but I mean it like that computer will never die yeah I don't know I added every show on it

really yeah I tried editing when I was editing the audio for the soundboard yeah the soundboard the fucking Mac died hmm you know just crashing restarting mmm that sucks I want to buy one I want to buy a man I can't have this I'm a professional app developer yeah you got the regular Steve imagine if Steve jobs are still alive I can shoot him an email say Steve fellow innovator here yep I'm designing a soundboard app or my friend says things like Billy Joel and whatever man this shit's probably when did I say fava beans by the way why didn't you say it that way no idea so weird it was actually pretty cool dude I pulled your

audio from one episode and that was all one episode yeah I brought it into logic and then if in logic you can strip silence and set like the thresholds and where how much of it cuts and then it just it just separates the entire your like track for the show into individual words yeah or like individual statements so that's fun yeah then I could just go through all of them and I don't have to listen all the fucking silence it was actually pretty easy to pull all that shit but yeah I don't know what the fuck you were talking about or why you kept saying fava beans because you said it multiple times really

hilarious a cupcake and a candy I'm sure there's a listener out there that's like episode 52 minute 11 episode for FOB it hits scratches rib cage twice producing two completely different notes I mean what are we supposed to believe this is some sort of magic xylophone fuck man I gotta take a piss you guys handle this without me it's I don't know if we can't it's rolling it's pretty doing this is the regular episode regular episode well you know what I'm telling you fucking piece of shit about grease whether you want to hear about it or not because there's topics that we have to cover we get to make a list at

the end hold on god damn it we have to cover oh Nick's precious list I didn't make a list this time oh I thought you're what the fuck topics do we have we have to cover what are the Kane Maria Earthquake another hurricane Mexico City yeah there's an earthquake in Mexico City oh damn you see that video that people are dead that bill really I do not watch videos of Mexico I hope the tacos are okay you know that I have me too boom Taco Bell you'll care of Taco Bell that's what I have to say about the earthquake anyways I wonder if anyone's made the observation that all these natural disasters it's kind of like the

world's ending because of Donald Trump it's like Mother Nature's pissed off or something but yeah well Mother Nature's a woman and she doesn't like getting her pussy grabbed yeah yeah by those hey by those little hands what I like what I like to think is happening is that you know the world is imploding because people are criticizing that's right the only person I respect to the office from Kim Jong-un mm-hmm yeah from a guy addicted to cheese yeah is he what kind of cheese and then tall Swiss cheese yeah dude is that good you got yeah he's killed himself for kill themselves respect yeah stop you

respect be like I think no you'd be standing up a little bit more for your brother I could hang him John he's a hoop head he loves basketball yeah my man almost killed himself off cheese yeah I mean that's yeah I love that it's like if you ran a country dude if I were in a country I would definitely have died that's gotta be you'd be wearing those like a some those in the CIA planning on how to fucking exploit that cheese thing yeah oh yeah you got to get in with the cheese yeah you think you got to fuck that assassin that wore the lol shirt killed his cousin or whatever yeah maybe that'd be cool yeah the fuck

assassins that video is insane it is really wild like the spray and the lol t-shirt how do you want to get assassinated so like James Bonsall borax and the dust that eats a raid of a raid again it smells nice but he gets in there and his feet are stuck to the ground and he can't move you guys are saying a giant plastic fucking fly swatter gets you dude yeah fucking chameleon fucking sticks tongue out you guys didn't even do the one about the light I see a light yeah I guess shut up dude stop trying to

participate I'm just trying to help you read bugs can't talk come on did you know they made a movie about Adams life he's in that movie James and the giant peach that's a different version where James fucks about in that peach yeah no yeah thanks man let his ass up you fucking bug you fucking bug nerd baby the baby the baby I don't know get your fucking antenna off me bitch yeah he's sending chemicals out to the other men boy I'm just gonna like do a tweet tomorrow about like oh like Trump or something yeah get a bunch of RT's all these kids

are gonna be like oh I don't know bugs can't we good everyone do that I'm glad that's happening every time I love being with the damn boys man yeah I mean I made a big fat fucking steak today dude I saw that steak I think you're exaggerating how big that steak was I cut it in half how well how much is it way I go always a pound at least it was a pound in a pound in like 1.2 or something like that's good it was a $20 steak they're bone in huh a little bit of bone not a lot a small bone ribeye ribeye ribeye ribeye is the only kind of state if you're gonna fucking season the shit if you're gonna season it you

get whatever nah dude you know ribeye is the fatty shit ribeye is the best but I mean I you know I don't you can get away with I need a leader cuts I can't eat a pound of steak I don't like fillet them it doesn't fit my macros like and suck my foot dick but fillet is like supposed to be the nicest one no that's bullshit that's what I mean y'all say fucking chicken breast is that get that dry you can take no you can take any chicken breast that's my dick I number one well thigh is better I think let me put it this way chicken fucking sucks and I'm saying that is someone that eats chicken constant that's not true chicken thighs

good I went to Popeye's the other day chicken is all five born thank you brother yeah that's my that I got a five piece five five piece yeah yeah me and Mac five thighs I love it bro pretty good I love that um that makes me happy drumsticks delicious I mean it's fatty that's what it's good the fucking thing above the drumsticks are the same meat it's the same time me yeah yeah but I don't know a drumstick feels like a little too cute to me you know what I miss that day we had the no at the day we went to Amish market oh what a beautiful day that was bring it up all the time it was what was one of the best

days of my one of the best fucking mornings of my life dude yeah I went to that outbacked steakhouse so my friend for his 18th birthday right before he shipped out to the Marines nice is he alive still yeah he got blown up in Iraq damn and then he was in to read for a while and then he married some fat woman and now he has a bunch of kids and he's an airplane that doesn't that happen they assign you a fat woman in the army yeah pretty much no you get home and you marry like the first girl to ever jack you off we rediscovered all their love from eighth grade I came on her fucking jelly bracelet behind the

movie theater and now we're in love again she's 400 pounds now but you know what I mean I can't walk good anymore and I lose my fucking temper real easy but we have a family we have a big family and everything I'm sure he's a good dad he seems like he would be yeah all those people are better people than us for sure yeah I don't know I make it funny that guy I wish I could have that kind of stability yeah absolutely unfortunately I hear that being a millionaire yep just the busy life that you know a lot of people think because I'm a tech a tech billionaire that I just live this jet-set and lifestyle but

actually a very little free time yeah you know between the gym and buying supplements and you know fucking go home making a scramble making a ham scramble trying to figure out how to make my own sconce with the scones sconce is like a recess look how excited Adam was and it's not a recess light it's a light on the wall it's not like a lamp it's just a lamp on the wall it's a lamp on a wall it's not a recessed okay it can be recessed like Adam's ass his recessed ass wait you should I have it outside your ass cheeks or convex they're concave like your chest how's that even what you've seen my butt it's just

dented in yeah it looks like it looks like an upside down booster seat so your ass looks like yep a little you get you got arrested for letting little kids sit it looks like yeah it looks like an egg carton yeah there's some guy at the park trying to trick kids and in the sitting on in his ass his dented ass but your ass hole is prolapse his fucking ass cheeks look like the a tampered with Snapple cap yeah Adam's not fresh anymore yes he has his ass he's used up yeah well he's used up like a Snapple cap you can still use that boy pussy a little bit I like

a Snapple cap it's tidbits underneath yeah I was I was waiting for you to start to say it so I could fucking snatch that right out of your stupid bug mouth my thorax snatched it right out of your web bitch yeah no that's another way you die wrapped up in a web from a spider by a Korean spider yeah yeah I got eight legs yeah you come in my house I eat you how dare you come in my house my house made out silk baby I ate my own husband hell yes Korean spider baby that's our new character I love it people wanted to follow up to retarded man that owns a Valero we also did retarded Elmer fun who thinks he's Dracula yeah that's

really cool yeah we got some good good shit man yeah I still have to piss let me know when I'm allowed he's here you can go piss whenever you want you want to cross swords no you know we need to be that would be so as though we need to discuss the hot the hottest topic this week what happened some politics bullshit probably oh Sean Spicer at the Emmys how about yeah I'm is fucking pieces of shit fuck Sean Spicer it's like the whole resistance thing is retarded and it's like how the fuck is out of all I'm gonna kiss him on the cheeks Adam Baldwin's a conservative is he Alec Baldwin Alec Baldwin no yeah

he's oh I think he said Adam Baldwin mother huh animal mother is it another Baldwin they don't know about Adam Baldwin from fucking full metal jacket oh I don't I know Billy Baldwin yeah Adam Baldwin is not one of the Baldwin Daniel Danny Baldwin is a conservative yeah there's one that doesn't fuck with him yeah Dan I think Danny the fat old on I'm glad that motherfucker didn't meet the Pope Stallone's brother is like that too he's like radical right wing Stallone is a conservative too is he yeah he just can't talk about it Frank does all the angry tweeting yeah Frank or sly I want to rewatch Rocky dude I had a hanker in

watch Rocky the other day hell yeah mm-hmm watch Rocky the movies it's it's so much fun yeah of course it's an underdog story it's a he was winning screenplay everyone says he sold his dog have you seen those viral videos about how Stallone like first he had to be in porn which is hilarious soft core soft core when he was sleeping at the Port Authority bus but I still think you see his cock do you I'm pretty sure you see his cock and it's pretty big but then he says he had to sell his dog to like make rent at the YMCA or whatever who's buying a dog exactly you but you just bought a dog I didn't buy a dog you

paid $500 no I didn't paid zero dollars you paid zero yeah that's where your dog is your dog is worthless to you so you got the shittiest dog that you could get yeah I buy a lot of people feel bad I'm gonna get a fucking that for the $40,000 dog such a waste of money no it's a fucking pure bread they like dying fuck it's family I want I want your breads are bad dogs fucked first yeah yes but they're better than your dumb ass dog why cuz they're fucking royal cuz there's some like Joseph Mengele like yeah cuz someone beat them up beat off their dad and and put the and then spit the put spit the jizz in the mouth mm-hmm

that's the Immaculate Conception by the way that's how it happened my friend Tommy growing up used to tell me that angel sucked off God used to tell me that Alan Arvison was immaculately conceived who my friend Tommy growing up he'd be like yeah Alan Arvison's mom someone jizzed on her pussy and then it got in it that's not Immaculate Conception that's not at all Immaculate this regular conception it's non-penetrating Adam Adam's coming from his stupid world of bug reproduction yeah yeah someone told me Alan Arvison's mom laid an egg yeah and no one came and spread their jizz on it and

then Alan was born that's just I mean I don't believe it sexually mm-hmm whereas gay sex with himself comes out of gay sex reduce gay sexually yeah I said it first no you didn't yeah I said I said it and I said you didn't get the pun yeah I did the pun first yes I did I did it but stop praying stop sucking up he's not sucking yes we're sucking up that's a such a fucking I'm not small in your nose your long nose you get nutrients yeah but whole and dried mud you would uh you fucking millipede yeah that's why you got a fucking yeah Adam has Adam has a thousand arms and none of them can reach

a small-ass dick they're all just trying to reach the dick this is curling up and it's not working a thousand arms zero push-ups this is like that Kafka book the guy who sucked the book okay doesn't turn into a beetle or whatever in that Kafka book yeah it turns into a fly he turns into Adam well I didn't know he turned into Adam thank you Nick goddamn it what was the big topic we had to talk something happen I don't think there's a new Obamacare appeal that's probably it yeah yeah that's it what did you fucking quote tweet about it I quote tweeted like I can't even think I thousand RT it's pretty tight so glad

I'm not on Twitter and I can just do things like worry about buying the best mattress you didn't buy the best you didn't buy you made a hasty decision that's why I said worrying about it you fucking idiot why don't you just listen to things and parse sentences and think critically stop also made that mistake he also didn't understand as a dumb guy who lives in the moment and has good thank you fine with that carpe diem yeah that's my shit I have a tattooed on my balls I'm a right ball's carpe my left balls DM baby yeah and your bitch sucks them all sucks them both Adam that sounds fun we think of that sounds fun

just like you're having a good time Adam lives on your balls like a might like yeah honey I shrunk oh no do I have fucking pew do I have lice do I have crabs is Adam and his family on my balls family rip marina shrunk Adam's whole family just being bullied by that Korean spider yeah fuck you don't touch my house you touch my house I fear it I fear it I'll wrap you up oh fuck so I spent some time in Greece with my cousin Leonita finally you brought this up already I never finished he was his family and he bartends and makes no

money yet they went on the episode we didn't air you dumb motherfucker oh and he fucks on he fucks in a tent he's a grown man that fucks in a tent to go like he goes outside his parents that's where he lives in the summer he doesn't rent a room he rents a tent and he fucks tourists what kind of tent we talking about like a camping tent you can't even stand up in it no it's hilarious he's 32 years old and he fucks in a tent maybe he should start a podcast he would be dumb tourists yeah dude imagine who's doing that American fucking these dumb Australian women yeah yeah Australians they're like they're disgraced when

they're on vacation I explained to him what snapchat was I was like yeah you take a picture and then it disappears and he was like he was like you should call me lonely the snapchat because when I fuck I disappear yeah I fuck some girl from Denmark one time oh nice at the accent and she's like yeah I have not that fucked out this is only a time fuck American and you're like please don't make eye contact yeah it's like I'm trying to come when you picked yeah I think so that German once a German yeah from Germany oh yeah let's hear about Adam's story sorry I didn't realize it was Adam's story time Adam what else

happened yeah what happened I don't know I thought it was a joke about the Holocaust or Nazis or whatever it was kind of neat go ahead was neat about it I don't know please explain to us yeah actually need about it about having sex just as a European style of sex what in what sense and that the girl penetrates fuck god damn it what was the top I'm like losing my mind I've destroyed this entire episode by not being able to remember the one thing no it's been fine that I wanted to fucking bring up which is come on I should have written it down straight yeah that's how about this in dog beers I've only had one dog

beers that's pretty good it's pretty good huh yeah I I remember there was a kid with Down syndrome that went to my community college that would wear a t-shirt like a novelty t-shirt that said graduate spelled wrong I've seen that one yeah and then that's a classic three or four times yeah but somebody bought that for him and it's like that's a buying Adam what a shirt that says female body inspector yeah because he's gay or bugs life sure yeah official official promotional merchandise from ants the movie I identify with that sky than a bugs of course yeah that was the joke he's bootleg I was waiting for you

guys to make that no you were waiting to go into your cocoon to come out as a gay or bug guess what you think you're a butterfly you're a moth bitch you're not even a sexy ass butterfly you're an ugly ass moth dude was fucking close girls clothes yeah little attracted to fucking light bulbs ass bitch you're not out there following you on nice flowers like a fucking cool ass butterfly you're in musty ass closets yeah you're outside around a light bulb outside of a shack yeah oh yeah and one of those outdoor bathrooms just trying to take a shit you're just on the wall trying to leaf why do they smell like that like like

old people that's what moth balls are you mean why do you smell like yeah yeah why do we smell I don't know tell us why can't like old people not deal with that is there are your dust based that's true that's the reason bitch god damn I love you can't wait to think of other bugs you are later in the episode this one's bad but it's good I'm really happy until people stop losing we can kill ourselves yeah same oh fuck dude damn over a hundred people are dead now in Mexico one for every mattress company my night nearly 140 people have been killed across the country including scores in the state of Morelos close to

the epicenter of the quake and docents here in the capital Mexico city but the figure was expected to climb especially because rescuers we're still frantically they don't do the LR thing frantically digging out people trap beneath mounds of rubble my name is Janice bitch channel 7 news the earthquake hit shortly after 1 p.m. it registered a preliminary magnitude 7.1 causing heavy and prolonged shaking in the capital capital capitalia more than 40 buildings and other structures in Mexico's including at least those schools officials said crushing cars and trapping some people inside no Kira

Taco Bell said emergency workers and ordinary citizens raced at the site I always wish they would do that the voice the change thing the code switch thing with like tragic stories and not like yeah you know there was a parade and that's why you'll in health care there is it was the fifth annual parade for you know getting a job outside of a depot or whatever whatever was the one in Maryland called the parade I saw was Casa of Maryland the Casa immigrant outreach program oh I don't fucking know you know as a white ethnic immigrant people kind of like don't even consider us immigrants yeah you know you're a

blimpigrant floated over the border that I would love to be a blimp dude they got it I was reading every like go where the fuck you want once a year I fucking I fucking get really into the idea of bringing back zeppelins it was the Hindenburg that fucked it up for everybody right so they didn't go there using hydrogen right you know they go like 80 miles a plane goes way faster well the reason the Hindenburg happen is because the United States was the only country that had helium is a lifting gas because we had a bunch of fucking helium caverns or whatever nice so the rest of the world it was really

expensive or at least in the rest of the world where they manufacture zeppelins and they would use hydrogen which was like extremely fucking dangerous flammable as all yeah so they could do them with helium now you could just make fucking helium zeppelins and they would be safe and fine like the good year blimp yeah all any of them any rigid airship or non-rigid airship you know they use safer lifting gases but we could be traveling boys we could have a fucking zeppelin for the show how much do you think they would have set us back one point four million dollars that's nothing that's nothing we make that we

make a full-size a full-size on ads that one dude we go up there get a little Wi-Fi going a sauna oh you know yeah how big is the little like place that you're not chilling you're not allowed on the blimp so don't it's fine I can fly anyway yeah you can yes I can see it's gonna be too hot not up not past 10 12 feet fine whatever sorry so I'll be eaten by birds yeah dude we're gonna have a fucking hawk around you want to be you want to fucking tangle with him yeah dude you'll end up the bird you're gonna end up in his my man's beak yeah yeah we Adam had to leave the show because he got eaten by a toucan the confused is

spotless body for a baby cherry he got eaten by toucan Sam he thought he was fruit yep the cherry flavored fruit loop but it's actually Adam who's a lady bug if you'll recall initially is what we call them Talia Hernandez 28 was on the second floor of the building taking a tattoo class when the earthquake hit and tore down through the structure she said she rolled down the stairs as they were collapsing she managed to escape the building but broke her foot I can't believe I'm alive she said weeping and in shock is oh do you see that fucking bus crash in Queens yeah that was brutal dude I was like man that is wicked and

I find out guess what my man the driver he's Chinese yeah I know those let's hear for the boy fucking driving drunk oh yeah 60 miles per hour in a fucked up off socket yeah right you know driving that fucking shitty Atlantic City bus yep you imagine trying to go to Atlantic City and you die god damn that's a sad way to go yeah well maybe you lucked out yeah could have gotten much worse at the length of the Atlantic City never been to AC review never you tried to get me to go once like a year ago Sam Sam Pitchell was like going on a whim I think or maybe it was Racine going Racine asked me the other day if I wanted

to go yeah Racine I go with Racine I'd go with Racine I mean I grew up around that shit so it's not that I mean it's got the beach there I guess that is different the big one huh yeah no I can't go back should be nice dude you can find nice god damn it you're such a fucking idiot dude is it okay why why don't you just not kick the recorder off it was an accident did it fuck it up no I don't know we'll see maybe I'll fuck your ass if this if you fucked it up bitch I think we're fine yeah beach would be nice did you find nice little shell to crawl into your house that's a hermit find a new house or so congratulations just evolved bitch

little piece of trash that it gets sold down at the boardwalk lobsters look like bugs so you're also a lobster yeah yeah they sort of look like bugs they got exoskeleton are they are literally a type of bug really yeah so you are one bitch you're Sebastian for the little mermaid but gayer yeah but he sucks guys dicks I'm HIV I don't tell anyone just like a sharky I'm HIV so I call my dick Ariel bad bitch Jasmine thank you you to Ariel or Jasmine Adam's favorite princess yeah hasn't had a pussy that's true I don't want to sleep with a lot a lot yeah I identify with no you're gonna be dominated by hit that Muslim

magical I used to think he was Jewish when I was a kid because he had the little hat so I thought that oh wow yeah I was just have to take everything for yourselves well you know when you're a kid you can't let any culture of anything whatever I don't remember ever identifying with anything no no just just I still don't have a sense of self I feel disembodied sort of yeah I don't I used to you're like on ketamine all the time kind of yeah literally and figuratively I'm like have you ever taken ket before ketamine yeah British Club people love it yeah no one time I was doing British Club people also love

gay sex that's true that actually cuz I figured that's what you're gonna say you're spending time there if you've been there in British sex with British guys yeah yeah do some buggering you got buggered have a proper bollocking you got bollocks yeah I love a nice proper ball let's get properly bollocks I want to fuck a right fit bird yeah I want to bugger a right fit bird shat snog a snog a lass snog a lass that works yeah snog a fat lass is more like shut up Scottish what do you how do you say tits in British tits muppers British women have huge tits I want to suck some big meaty

what where how do you conclude that statistically they have the largest cup size of any nation Britain I love it I don't know that it does yep look it up I want to suck some British women have the biggest tits in the world how does that make any sense what do you mean how does it make any sense because a it's a pretty diverse country manufacturer bras the largest bras are statistically shipped and sold mostly in I feel like I would say the United States because we're fat yeah well you would be wrong it doesn't make sense to me I've already pulled it up I know this for a fact yeah dude it's okay well because what you

flutter around closets eating bras all day long okay better yeah in your in your experience when you've eaten bras in America versus England would have been bigger Adam Adams to get a Google it now because he's so upset about possibly being wrong about something that he's never you made a claim I'm just trying to see if it's true or not and it doesn't say how do you say how do you how do you say what do you what's a nice slang for titties in British Adam I want to suck suck sucker Adams Adams a tit a titmouse mmm I guess what the fuck was that damn thing I want what yeah are you are you doing a bit I don't know no

there was like three or four things that's why I didn't take notes because I was like oh yeah these are big we got to talk about this I guess I don't know not North Korea who gives a shit I don't really care about this earthquake I mean yeah it sucks that people died but yeah that's bad you know I mean there's been so many disasters recently it's like mm-hmm you know that's why you only have Christmas once a year yep you know who doesn't get that right the Jews to do holidays every two weeks yeah that's why nobody cares about any of their hall you're on what do you mean I was got the biggest titties Russia Finland

Sweden Norway no I looked it up it was I was in an article that I read the Britonship samosa it doesn't make sense you're incredibly diverse country you said it was America so you went do you just look I said no I said the word Britain is not the answer yes America on average has larger breasts than Great Britain yes it's still you said America had the most you did I said it would make the most sense that America would because there's so many fat people and stop actually said that first you're fucking wrong Nick I'm not wrong you're wrong you're fucking snide fucking look down at you fucking can you chill for a

second man you're being kind of hostile I'm being a bug right now aren't I yeah you're being a bugger yeah you're the only bug that buggers other bugs why is ass fucking buggering I don't get that buggery why does it now we're all looking at our phones yeah I'm not just handle the fact that I stated something and so you have to go find some other study which is wrong by the way your pathetic mission to study him you're pathetic spitefully get your phone out because you can't score a single point this episode shit little bug body oh oh something to contest it's not our

fault we're literally a thousand times larger than yeah humans versus above yeah right when earlier tonight you thought that a movie with Paul Giamatti in it was a documentary he didn't say what was it called yeah what was that movie called to fail he said yeah he thought it was a documentary because it was a book actors in it playing it was a book yeah that's never there's never ever you know how Harry Potter is a documentary Jesus Christ Harry Potter wasn't about something that happened yes it was so here are the countries with the biggest boobs ranked number one US number two

Canada according to who titties dot com yeah here's another article Germany damn there's two you know with the only at the only answer is ladies of every if you're listening ladies in every country send me pictures of the US non car tell you for US Caucasian was one wow US non-carcassian three for Ireland you know what it is it's milk dude we drink so much goddamn milk they put a hormones in it and make girls have big titties in this country absolutely that's my theory I think you're right five Poland six United Kingdom seven Nick you're fucking wrong all right man are you happy I'm happy yeah why you needed that

yeah I needed it all right well I'll have to now after the show go find the article that I read that said that because you want to go find a counter study there's three four five other articles here that you know I don't care it's just a fucking tone well what do you mean you're wrong you're being a child you can't admit that you're wrong I'm not wrong I'm repeating a thing that I read that said Britain is the largest it's we were talking about titties dude and you guys had to fuck it up with facts I you know what I never wanted titties or a thing about joy and their thing about just you know speaking from the

cock and the heart at the same time yeah and we're over here doing math about titties I had them had to had to derail the show I want to phone out and I was shaking his head all I want to do is suck titties watch them bounce up and down while I have sex I was trying to remember the goddamn thing and Nick is still working on that you know so let him figure that out figure out what the thing we got to talk about I this is the show is over we're nice and we got an hour yeah damn yeah I was supposed to mail off tonight that I didn't do what was it I don't worry about it's work related dude as as executive vice

president of this company it has nothing to do with the company has to do with my own personal career so who nice tell us doesn't affect you guys it affects me because you're my friend none of the money will go to you it all goes to charity a lot of people don't know this Nick donates a hundred percent of every paycheck the charity I do donate a lot of my money to charity as a tax write off yeah I consider not stepping on Adam to be chair and I spent all the money on you know they're little lights on the floor buying them little leaves family to eat yeah right don't bring my family into this we have him living in what are

you guys having for two years with some sticks in the air not much you love sticks are you guys gonna have like palm trees palm leaves for Thanksgiving very funny is that like what's the best kind of leaf what's your favorite leaf I don't know fern we should just end this now the whole show really that'd be fun all right good what we have a show don't we yes on Monday come on everybody is it this Monday coming up this upcoming Monday the whatever the fuck 20 something yeah the fourth Monday yeah we're just as the general principle we're doing the second and fourth Monday it was great last thank

you for everybody who came out we're gonna find a witch to turn Adam into a man for the show yeah and then which and then after that she's going right back to his state as a part all we it doesn't which mean feminists now isn't it like a family there are a lot of women who say they're witches but they just have black mate yeah it's like a tumbler thing yeah like a goth girl they all they all means you like suck and yeah you have crystals and shit yeah you're like not particularly attractive mm-hmm yeah rude absolutely rude if you say it's because you're a witch yeah okay yeah just like the women in Salem that were

persecuted yeah oh yeah years ago you channel their spirit they live through you yeah and you're being a being a mean to men that's getting back for those women would have hated you they were also puritans yeah yeah yeah they were slightly cooler puritan that doesn't make them cool yeah you know a movie I tried to like but couldn't the focus focus the witch yeah okay actually really liked it just didn't do it what's the witch it was cool a horror movie from like a year ago no I never saw it was yeah there's a fucked up little free Adam would be afraid of the movie he can't see movies that he's afraid I'm

not afraid of any movie yeah I've never been afraid you're afraid of it's a movie why would you be afraid you're afraid of that one movie where it's like a lizard he kind of looks like under as Thompson's but it's you're afraid because it's a lizard and he's gonna eat you what are you talking about fear and loathing and lost now but there was a there's there was like a lizard version of it what there's this scene where he's tripping and he's little lingo or something like that yeah you're that's where you're afraid of oh the Johnny Depp movie will eat you Rango Rango yeah I never saw that but it looks bad cuz

you're afraid of it yeah I'm not afraid to get into the witch so that I liked him in that wraps up oh they got fucking Blade Runner coming out on 4k blue ray and they have a new Blade Runner in the theaters 2069 looks sick yeah you think it's gonna be good it looks like bad I should watch a movie or so I haven't considered what makes something look good or look bad I mean just rebooting Blade Runner or whatever looks bad to me sounds bad sounds bad you know that sounds bad the other one looks bad I wanted to like the other one I love David's watch it I might watch it but I don't know why I'm

standing up no it's good yeah she's got very droopy 70s weird yeah but it's good for the character she's she's the what do you mean she's weird no Linda Lovelace no she's not her she just plays like a droopy big old pair of droopy 70s to do you know what I'm talking about I have the 70s the titties are hanging low yeah yeah yeah yeah and she plays like a mom that's like you know what else you know you don't see a lot in like in early playboys they had very conical titties yep the nipples they were fucking like we've talked about this before but Apolloni and the Godfather part yes Godfather part one no no she

had puffy nipples that's a different puffy Coney kind of but yours weren't that big I'm talking big fat missiles missile titties yeah I think that's from like early boob jobs no I think it's because the bras bras shape yeah that's right that makes sense well I I just I wish we could come up with different bra shapes to force women to wear so you can make them any shape we want it squares like Play-Doh hmm if I have a wife I'm going to design custom bras in my woodworking shop she would be forced to wear to create breasts of all shapes I think I'd like round I I like a nice long tits like a big TV like you

yeah you know buttons on it well bananas I'm talking about like 35 nipples oh you want buttons yeah well they do things are they cosmetic mostly yeah I mean if I could figure out a way to wire up my wife you know get some fucking wires in that body of hers into it through her pussy ever we're talking about the perfect woman here so six tits all remote shaped they all hook up to my AV receiver brain removed pull directly out of a fucking body where we put in there instead that's right folks a pussy right on top of her head play with my remote son I fucked top of her head ass replace the asshole with

another pussy put some nipples on those ass cheeks oh yes and ass you suck in those ass titties feet cut them off replace them with more titties she's bouncing yeah thinking but what about the companionship aspect if she doesn't have a brain fuck that shit now we're talking who needs companionship I've got aggression you know I'm angry about the world you don't need friends no stay angry you need some ass titties to fuck that's cool it is cool you know who needs who needs the companionship of a woman when I got my trusty CB radio the other guys out there on the road there really knows what it means mm-hmm do

your own surgery that's right on your side would you fuck a real girl doll a real doll I mean I guess but I wouldn't like if there's one in front of me and I was horny I guess I wouldn't buy one like as a flashlight you would like use it to yeah to come to come yeah I wouldn't take it out on the date what if like when the technology gets better and it's like fucking a person still yes nothing has changed yeah you don't understand what I mean that equals work would you fuck a real doll yeah yeah but what if they were better yeah this is like one of my hypotheticals no what I'm saying is like as you like would you

pursue that if no I would not buy one if there was like a some sort of android type sex robot how much are how much they cause and it was the best how good does it feel you could just go like a prostitute 50 bucks and have like the best robot yeah probably once in a while just a robot to get your nut yeah because my biggest problem with prostitution is I don't I don't want you feel bad that you're hurting a person's feelings not them hurting the person you're making you're ruining your day yeah I don't know I'd be a bright spot dude you know I get prostitutes I give them back massages either pussy watch

some what's the office together you eat them out yeah can you eat an a prostitutes pussy I feel like it would be strange I feel like you have to pay more because I do enjoy you feel like you know this yeah yeah tell us from your personal experience I've never I've never eaten a prostitute's pussy before why are you afraid that's the sounds like somebody's a scaredy cat damn I love I love that we had to make you say the sentence I've never eaten a prostitute's pussy before yeah you put yourself in that situation by wandering into that web luckily it's a metaphorical one a literal web would kill you

yeah well I guess we should end the show yeah it's about time yeah yep