The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 87 – Podcasting Gear from Marshalls

Episode Date: January 25, 2018

Edited this one on a different computer it might soud fucked up

I am gay suck my fucking dick no we're already going. Oh nice How embarrassing that would be if like other people had that tick but they were on like NPR. Yeah I'm David B. and Cooley, and I suck my father's penis. My dad is black and his dick is too big for my pussy. Oh, I'm Terry Groce Oh Anyways, where were we had man? I just I love him so much I'm fucking queer. I can't wait to suck a cock. I fucking love sucking cock. You were back on cock talk Yeah, I knew we were recording cock talk. I'm going in a new direction here

The gay direction a direction a queer direction. You're on queer talk. Shut up the fucking car talk, man One of my most cherished memories randomly of my childhood is yeah blast in car talk Going to Einstein Brothers bagels and hitting Marshall's with my mom for the husky section. Yeah, I was just in Marshall's yesterday Marshall's is hilarious. I'm gonna have cell phone service in Marshall's so you can't check to make sure you're not buying like Oh, really the Chinese knockoffs. Yeah, because I was getting a comforter and they had I don't know if that's all Marshall's but Yeah, yeah That's how the Nordstrom wreck isn't on 14. Yeah. Yeah, so I went to Marshall's I was trying to get a comforter because in Macy's they got those hotel collection comforters

They cost like fucking nine hundred dollars or whatever. So, you know, they got to be good That's what makes something good. Oh, yeah costs too much. Yeah, and so but if you go to Marshall's You can get that same comforter for like 30 bucks. Oh, yeah, the hotel collection shit So but it's just the name and then the insides filled with like, you know, Chinese people's hair When we say down alternative we mean an alternative to Down syndrome hair Which we also sell man. Is it do you do that often with your breast? No, I just kind of getting a Raising my arm and it just felt like, you know I just fucking had to shake it out a little bit. So for the audience stop is shirtless

Well, Nick was shirtless. He said we're going to show you Shirts I'm not gonna let my boy be the only one shirtless And now I'm over here bearing this cross. It's not Your your your midsection looks like those stacks of proofing dough and Domino's shout out to anybody that's ever worked in a pizza restaurant. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, there's big blue Trays filled with yeah, it's delicious. I know you're spending dough. My body looks delicious Well, no, no, it looks like it looks like a minimum wage prison a tree

The women want a minimum wage prison a fucking walk-in freezer. They want to kiss it until they get down to the sausage You know I'm saying no Kiss kiss my my stomach until you get down to my cock. Yeah, that's what I meant by sausage I thought you mean don't you mean under to your cock? Huh? No, cuz it's under. No, it is not under my stomach That is a common misconception. I'm not that see like an under the sea song, but it's under the sea section scar It's that lobster eating pussy It's like he loves he loves divorced women They got divorced because their husband couldn't handle their sea section scars

Wouldn't you Cheryl? It's your fault for having a not you did your pussy was fucked up now. You have this gross scar He did a pussy and finger ring a button. No, dude. It's hard to make it straight. I was caesarean It yeah, it's because your dad's dick is so smooth. We already talked about this I like that my brain can only work a certain way. I know I know yeah but wouldn't a guy Uh, prefer a c-section. I think if you push his wife if you still push vaginal birth Your pussy gets wrecked if you're pushing hard. Mm-hmm. They tell you to push but exactly But what I'm saying is what you need to do if you're smart you want to keep that yeah pussy intact

You go straight. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be such a feminist that I get a c-section for my wife That's where they cut my balls open and and put the sperm in her pussy Directly into her pussy. So I don't get the I don't even get to get hard. You're gonna get to come or get hard Come on and get hard and you're conscious the whole time. You're screaming. They crack my nut like an egg Like a fucking sunny side egg The giz drips oozes out We should go screaming I love you honey

We should go with soft. He will not divide us. He will not divide us Yeah, by the way, someone I think actually big cat retweeted that fucking video of the lady screaming I just watched that again last night It's the funniest video and it's like I guess it was just the anniversary of that video, right? Trump's on auguration. Yeah Yeah, that happened on on gay 20. Oh, shit. That's what they uh January 20th. They call it gay 20. They call it. It's like 420, but for gay guys zero gay 20 That's where you smoke another dude's

Nice Gay sex should be legal Yeah, legalized A guy named blowjob marley who's like there's a lot of very gay music Check in on penis Lively up your ass A power bottom soldier No

Because I want to say Really bad at this come on, bro. You're so gay You probably think this song is about you. You're so gay. You're so gay You know that song was written about you I actually do I actually was written about you adam rosemary cloney said in an interview recently that you wrote it about you Really, I thought it was uh, what's not right someone else. It's rosemary cloney. No, no, it's uh Carly simon

No, that's you're so vain you fucking idiot. That's a different song. Wait, I'm talking about I'm talking about you're so gay Song by rosemary cloney It's about you and she said that In an interview. Oh, I didn't know that was a song. I would just think it's a parody of you're so vain by carly simon No, the rosemary cloney song came out first You're so vain came out afterwards. So she was by nancy sinatra. It's not nancy sinatra And that's also this dick was made for sucking and then and then Carly simon covered it and then her cover was about somebody else

But but you're so gay and then the nancy sinatra. You're so vain or about you Oh, okay. I don't checks. That's all true. Mm-hmm. That's you're so gay. You're so gay You probably think this song is about you, but it's actually but it's actually It's about a guy named adam freeland He's the gay guy in the song We all know that classic. Yep that classic. Oh, yeah I'll have to look it up on spotify. Is that george clain's mom? It's his aunt, I think. Oh, shit. Okay. Really? Yeah

That's a real singer and nancy sinatra has to be frank. So yeah, she does uh, she does that uh I the only song of hers I know is that mombo italiano I saw on a game show one time. I was watching old game shows and they're like now Let's meet the stars and it's like surely bottoms worth, you know, it's like michael Sanderson and everyone's like michael sanderson, you know, it's like who the fuck are these people? I guess these people that were like famous in like 1971 and no, is that on the buzzer network? Yeah, right an old ugly skinny lady A gay guy. Yeah, a guy that's gay. That can't be so he's just game. She's 70s game show. Yeah. He's just doing

Hello No, like I wonder when he's gonna get married a fat guy sweating. He's so charming I wonder when that man is going to settle down and get married and finally take off his extremely tight bow tie Exposes frail delicate body to his lovely overweight wife This is lovely autistic overweight wife Damn, are you sad that you're gay now and you can't have a beard adam? From not from wait, you're saying that because I can't grow a beard. No, no, no I'm saying if you grew up in the 70s, you know a beard like a gay beard. Yes. Yeah. Well, I have one dasha

Yeah, but we all know I mean that's that's only matter of time her career takes off. She leaves you of course It's gonna be great when Dasha starts fucking Brandon Wardell. No, it's gonna be someone else. It's gonna be Brandon Wardell No, it's gonna be like a fucking strong version of adam. Let's see. Let's see. Yeah, let's see who you got cucked by last time A private dj lesson consultant This time it's gonna be the only person in the world worse at comedy than you. Oh, wow. Well, I appreciate that Yeah, I appreciate not being the worst. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Congrats, man. That was so funny We gotta talk about you getting owned by that lady when she said that uh, maybe you could tell some jokes next time. Yeah, yeah So funny. Yeah, I didn't watch it

You shouldn't watch it. I'm pretty embarrassed by it. Yeah. Yeah, I actually cancelled my subscription to uh, kike.tv Before you went on I was I was my favorite channel. Yeah, and I heard that they were having you on On their panel show jui Yeah, jui for the gay guy Ju There were like some straight up like nazis on the show before me though. Whoa, really? Yeah, there's this one guy that belongs to this Uh political party in israel called yisrael betaine, which is like the russian far right wing party. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, they're like

Wait, he's in israel. They're like maga guys basically in israel in israel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I mean, I guess that is like where the most of them are, you know But I got booked by a comeboy the guy some guy that works there listens to come town That's hilarious and and I guess he booked me a nick next guys. We have some you guys should be on the israel Yeah, it does. Do they know that I'm a was a red eye regular. Yeah a beloved member of of Of the delightful panel show red eye on fox news With uh, presumably a comedy show. Yeah, where you show up and then they just say things at you and you're supposed to I guess be funny bits before you're supposed to riff with they well

They tell you what the topics are like 3 p.m. And then you show up at like six to tape or what? Uh-huh Um, and then they're like, yeah, write stuff for this and it's like no Do you know paying me zero dollars writers? Yeah. Yeah Well, yeah, I also made zero dollars for my that's a that's a real shock. Yeah. Yeah, they're going on. Oh, yeah They had they had good-ass cookies though in the green. Oh, yeah Did they yeah, and you get to see like bill o'reilly, you know storming around that's really dobs Just pissed off about shit pissing his pants drunk. Yeah, and uh, uh, uh, but they had you know that one of those little cookies We're in the center. There's that like raspberry flavored. Yes. I know you're talking. Yeah, of course

What are those called there? I don't know what they're called, but I would never go I would never go buy those but absolutely. It's just as a rare treat here. It's a good. Yeah, listen That's a big pala cleanser, but I'm not I don't really fuck with those honestly The little jam in the middle type shits. Yeah, I don't really fuck with those They're they're nice when you have a little cup of free cup of coffee And you say maybe I will have a cookie my problem is they don't mesh well with most cookie flavors bullshit macaroons Mm-hmm. They're just shit cookies. Yeah, but they're they're sort of the appetizer of the cookie No, you know what it is. It's a fake business for rich women. I agree with that. That's where macaroons come from some rich man's

like Daddy's girl who's in her late 30s is like, you know what? I'm gonna do something with my life and then she starts a macaroon slash cat cafe Well, I think the macaroon craze is over. I think that was a thing. It was supposed to be the new cupcake. Yeah Yeah, yeah, but listen, I don't fuck. I'm not mad at macaroons. I would take a macaroon over those little raspberry cookies You know what I'm saying? Those raspberry cookies go to any Christmas parties. Those shits are getting away My businesses are the last things to go my rich man. My fake rich man business edible Gundams That's good a place where you go in you build your own fucking gingerbread got very intricate gingerbread Gundams

I love it. We're not talking some bullshit gingerbread man or gingerbread house Years that work. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes We're talking like you you cannot walk in there and not have like extensive experience with model building But what about like a gumball cannon? You shoot gumballs. That would be cool. Yeah. Yeah Um, I don't I mean, I don't remember that in evangelion. I don't think there's a web or a whipped cream cannon I don't remember that happening in the in the manga. So but is that there's gotta be one. No, no What the fuck is that been jelly?

I just know that that's like a thing with Gundams in it. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's an anime that I think that might be the one That has no Gundam. Wasn't there something called Gundam? Gundam Wing. Yeah, yeah Because I remember I should rocked. I don't I never I've never seen it I just remember thinking it was so funny that it was so close to condom and being like, oh, that's how does nobody It's just called condom. Yes, and everyone was like, well, well, no, the people that were had sex. Yeah, Gundams So they never they're like, what's a condom? Right? Do you mean a Gundam? Well, yeah, they're like, no, it's a thing that goes over your penis. They're like that goes over your whole body

I got a Gundam is a suit you wear to prevent you from having sex I had the yeah, no, you didn't I had it 15 seconds. You don't understand how to build a bit Damn it. I had this is why brand war dell is gonna fuck your girlfriend. He's not gonna fuck my girlfriend He's gonna roll in on a skateboard being like, oh, I'm at Justin Bieber Okay, first of all, he cannot skate second of all he drops. She's moving to new york Yeah, well, so it's gonna be somewhere far away from Brandon Wardell. So who's it gonna be then in new york? It'll be a new york fixture. Maybe tim dillon. That would be funny. His return to women. He eats her pussy to taste your dick Um, yeah, that'd be funny

That being that gang that you like pussy to taste dick I might go to models today and get one of those uh I've graduated past foam rolling to those little massage balls. Not the cross. I know what you're talking about the little spikes Uh, they're a little bit bigger. They're like the size of those, uh, you know, like a kid's basketball Like for um, like for children for like super shot or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A mini basketball mini basketball Yeah, yeah, like one of the like a little bit bigger than one of those is adam's dick and a regular basketball is my dick That's true for the listeners and my dick is uh, no, it's just moon. It's the entire No, it's a it's a it's a kush ball. Your dick is fucked up and it's like stringy. Yeah much softer

That is my dick. It's easier to palm and dunk So who's got a cooler dick? I do only black guys can palm yours. Yeah with huge hands. That's right Um, what's wrong with that? He raises the staves dick is a basketball that deflates after 30 seconds And i'm like just chill it'll it'll reflate just let's chill out. Yeah, you're like you want to go to the concession stand? No, you're a basketball deflates and then you just list everything you've eaten for the last 48 hours. Yeah, let's yeah, sorry Yeah, I hit the natural bar. I had a whoopee pat whoopee pie Bro, my dick is on the comeback swing. I'm a three day three day straight. No, uh smoothies going to the damn gym Okay, i'm eating clean. Yo, uh, uh, by the way, fuck new york sports club. Okay. Why yeah, they're getting they're getting the official

The anti come town. Fuck you cancel. They they're shady motherfuckers, dude They'll tell you you can cancel over the phone and then they'll say you're canceled and they'll continue to try and bill you And now they're calling me saying I owe money and then they emailed me And I emailed back. I'm like, no, I want everything in writing So tell me what I owe and itemize it and they just won't respond to it They're just gonna call me so that they can bullshit over the phone And they won't do and then the same company like town sports international They just got like a $20,000 fine from like washington like they're watching sports clubs doing the same thing where they tell you

Oh, yeah, you're canceled in person and then they don't cancel you and then continue to charge people afterwards I mean like my card changed a couple months back and I didn't update it with them because they Start they just raised my rates without notifying me either by phone or by email Which you're like my preferred contact. Yeah, like oh, we mailed something out. I'm like, yeah, I didn't get it So my nuts mail, you know, no one fucking checks the mail motherfucker. Yeah, I know what you're doing Um, so I don't know. Yeah, fuck that company and then if like if they don't email me back I don't know what to do because they're gonna eventually send it to a collection agency

I just have to dispute it with them because if they can't provide a copy of my contract that sucks shows that I Right, but yeah, damn, dude. No, it sucks because it's like this is like I'm trying to get better credit And so I have to jump through all these fucking bullshit hoops with secured credit cards And then it's shit like this fucking gym, which I prefer to just not deal with I mean, fuck you you want the money suck my dick Honestly got a way to get it other than and I know this damaging my credit But you might as well just pay them a couple months and then move on with your life I don't I don't want to pay them anything over the phone If they give me a list of things that I fucking oh, yeah, then fine

I'll pay it but I'm gonna have to go in person probably and do what they'll deny that I fucking went there in person I don't like I can't it has to be in writing. I'm not doing anything Right, but they'll give you they'll give you something like that you sign that says you're released from the contract I I don't know that they'll do that. I think they do. I think that's what James do. All right. Well, I also also I don't have a contract. I was month to month for like a year. Oh interesting Well, you need something dude. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear that me and the good folks who plan to finish the story We haven't had any any run-ins yet you know

But if you want I'll go fucking I'll go shit in every New York sports club shower there is man for you. Yeah, definitely. Do you want me to do that? No, I mean if this doesn't like resolve itself then I mean, I've already done what I can which is broadcast to 80 million people that that's right. They're a shady company. That's right We got picked up by indian the biggest channel in india also by the way guys Uh come town come town did yeah, that's how we get the 80 mil. Whoa

We just signed distribution deals with india china. Yeah Uh antartica, you know what's funny is those indian guys would probably love the indian guys we do on the show That's true. They would they would be flattered like I love sundar so much. So what is is it really racist guys? Think about it that way. It's a tribute. Asians. Asians love being racist too Real asians. Yeah, I don't mean he's america. I don't like those girls. I don't even know a guy named like dan win You know, he's like, how dare you say that to me? It's like, all right. Well, you don't have the voice So I don't even consider you asian. Yeah. What happened that slam poet that was mad at you Oh, yeah, that guy from singapore

Who's mad at me, but he lives in singapore where they don't have freedom of speech So he's like this guy should be in fucking jail They were like he should be executed by the state He's like, that's what you get for making fun of chinese new year Fuck didn't chris brown get arrested in singapore Did he for some? Yeah Maybe for lewd, maybe for lewd lyrics You never know really? I don't know. I love that spitting there is illegal. Yeah, swallowing only bitch. Yeah

You better catch the whole nut That's the law drink drink drink the nut like it's uh the the raw egg milkshake from rocky But not the first time the last time where he can do it What do you guys remember that Where he yeah, he makes that raw egg milkshake immediately in the drink, but he spits it out at first. No, he doesn't I don't remember that that's the beginning of the montage And at the end of montage, he gobbles it like girls should gobble our nuts. That's what i'm saying I thought what is he he comes home? I thought that was part of the scene where it's like your first meeting rocky

And then he goes home to his shitty fucking apartment and then puts on that uh that glenn fry song Mm-hmm, uh, which the heat is on. No the one about the uh, is that glenn fry? I don't know. Maybe it isn't glenn fry Of my penis. No, maybe it isn't glenn fry. It's like that that that like glenn fry is from the eagles, right? Yes Oh Hey, how about glenn burger Speaking of rocky and speaking of the eagles. Did you guys see that guy drive a dune buggy buggy up the rocky steps? That rules. Yeah, philly was going buck. That's why after they made the super bowl. Some dude drove a fucking dune buggy Rocky steps. You see the guy they had the they greased up all the fucking light poles with krisco

No one could climb them and then they figured out a way to do it. Anyways, they did. Yeah, they also uh, philly also had a secret Bill Cosby stand-up show. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and uh, yo, yeah, yeah Did some time at jazz show? Yeah, and and doctor. It was well received That's and I think the work for 2018 was did we jump the gun on accusing a black man of rape? Oh Comes back around and also a agilist. Wait, how about this? Oh, how about this guy's conspiracy theory? Cosby had grown tired. He reached the pinnacle of stand-up. Okay, so he leaks these stories He tells Hannibal to do this. Yes

So that now the only challenge is can I still kill when everyone in america hates me? So Now I got an idea. I got an idea for a movie killing too easy now. We went every audience that saw him was like, oh This is the most america's most beloved comment. I'll laugh. I got an idea for a movie So it's it's bill cosby now down and out in philly Doing these bullshit bar shows, you know And he's killing and people have forgotten who he is because of all the assaults And then sandra bullock who lives out in the suburbs with her millionaire husband that owns a bunch of taco

guys, she adopts him and she brings him into her house and she's like, we're gonna Yeah, we're gonna make this guy the best comic in the world And then you know, she's buying him pants or something and somebody says something racist to him and she has like a teary meltdown and calls the police on the yep The white woman that said something racist And then they throw the poor white woman in jail and then for some reason that's a three and a half hour long movie And then the guy's not that good it turns out anymore. Yeah, right. He only had a couple good seasons for the ravines Michael or Michael or yeah, and then he couldn't play. I think he went to the Panthers or some shit

I don't know. I stopped watching football. I walked out of that movie. I can't believe you went into it You went to the theaters in Detroit. Yeah. Why were you killing time? Yeah, it was a 75 cent ticket Hilarious. Yeah, I saw that in a movie called frozen. That was pretty good No, no, no different one came out came out years prior. This is like eight nine years ago. Okay. What was it about? Um, it's about three people they go on a skiing trip They uh, they like bribed the chairlift guy to let them go up on the mountain one last time right before the park closes And then uh, like there's miscommunication. They get left halfway up the mountain on the chairlift Oh, and uh, then there's like a storm coming in so the park's gonna be closed for a week

So they're just stuck on the chair and they have to decide so the whole the entire movie is just them on the chairlift Scary it's like that movie open water. It's exactly like whoa. What the fuck do they do? But no sharks I well, I if this were not recorded, I would just tell you but I would encourage people to go watch that movie I want to know though um The smoke joint followed me on instagram. Oh nice after I gave them I know you're doing I know you I see what you're doing You mentioned a barbecue restaurant to get me to forget that I want to know the end of that

That that movie no, I was thinking about it and I forgot that people listen to this show I just had a sudden moment of self-awareness that Oh, I see Yeah, also because the smoke joint followed you that reminded you people listen and you won't spoil it frozen Yeah, I don't care about you. I'll spoil it for you. I want to it wouldn't be a spoiler. I want to know Yeah, it's not the same thing. Is that still a spoiler if you want to get spoiled? I don't think so. I think a spoiler has is malice boiling it. Yeah, there's malice behind the act of spoiling

Why is the spoiler on a car called a spoiler? I never understood that. Yeah, that's a question Is that is that related to some kind of fluid dynamics term? Yes spoiling Mm-hmm. We I Yes, it is. Do spoilers really do work though, right? They make your car Cool faster. They make it cooler. That's for sure. It helps you get pussy for sure. Oh, yeah That's what it is After you get a spoil on you get a woman pregnant and you spoil her pussy. That's right. You take a shit That's why I call rape whistles spoiler alerts

Because you know When I hear one I think damn she's having sex with a guy that's got a really cool car What that that lucky woman is That is too much getting a hot chance to have sex with a Cool and tiger driving, you know kind of guy. Oh, yeah, every car should have a spoiler. Why not? I agree Yeah, damn put her on a fucking tour by a barbecue restaurant. Yeah, that's pretty, you know, it's funny It's funny because like movie terms are the opposite of car terms, you know where it's like you got a spoiler Car spoiler pretty cool movie spoiler not cool bad. What else movie trailer awesome rules

Yeah, I love 90 seconds 90 second commercial for a movie. Yeah, I got a trailer on your car. Wow. What are you homeless? Yeah, boo you just get to fuck you you peasant fucking poor bitch nice you all trailer. Yes. What are you doing moving? Fucking idiot. Are you moving or addicted to meth? Which one, bitch? Do you have an android phone? You had to move out of your apartment because everyone found out that you're an idiot And was downloading child porn on the apartment Wi-Fi. Well, come on. Let's not go after Shane. He said

We haven't mentioned him in a while. Hey man her Oh, right. You fucking piece of shit. I guess no, this is the year we take the pronouns back, dude Oh, really? Yeah, I'm actually playing. I'm doing the take the pronouns back concert benefit concert It's a christian rock and christian comedy benefit concert to hurt trans people Take back the pronouns Ladies and gentlemen the Dixie chicks. They're like we're girls not them They're trying to make up for their george w bush. Right and then there then there's a trans band called the Dixie chicks It's got they got the same name spelled a little different. That's good. That's really good with a y

You know, mm-hmm the y at the end Um, well boys. Fuck. We had an extensive show list of things to talk about. Yeah, how about uh This is a really good burrito. Yeah, the burritos will go off. Should we do another business shout outs? I think it's more Instagram. Honestly. Yeah Lucha lucha lucha they they go they rock they do a hell of a burrito Yo, get that breakfast chorizo. It is 13 bucks. The breakfast burrito is amazing. It'll suck your cock off I've never had the breakfast. Oh, it's so good. Yeah, the chorizo couple eggs in there some chorizo When we got my go there, I feel like the menu is limited, but every burrito I've had there

Let me finish my burrito. No, you finish it by putting it down I just didn't want to eat on mic because people get mad Yeah, give it to me. Nick so I can finish it No, I'm hungry though. They took first bite. That is rude as hell. Premium snack. You come to my apartment with food. I'm taking the first bite of it. I do love the content of pretty much snack this Uh, fuck. Yeah, dude Damn, I want some good snacks. God damn. That's a good burrito. It really fucking is the problem And I would go get one normally if this was my old life, but not anymore boys

Now I'm going home. Well, you're gonna have a new life pretty soon, dude. Once that birthday rolls around Me and Adam got a big surprise. What are you doing, man? What is it? Oh, you'll see Just uh, it's two different presents. It's two different presents, but but I don't know Presidents are correct are the term. How about how about this? Uh, think somewhere in between Dante's car Okay, you know and uh A pomeranian Yo, you guys gonna get me a bulldog? No, no rule

Is it a fur coat? It would be so cute if you had a bulldog. No, I'm kind of like, no, no Now I'm kind of mad. We didn't get him a bulldog. Yeah, we should have gotten him a bulldog We can still change the rides. We can. Well, I can. You got yours. I already spent the money Are you guys getting fat suits? No, we're not getting fat suits. It's actually it is what we'll talk about it on the show It is that they're both very thoughtful and also mean yes Yeah, it's only the kind of gift real friends who want to hurt your feelings could give you Well, I can't wait to have a bulldog one day, dude Just me and my fat ass bulldog a little bulldog with a tracksuit on a 100 wearing glad the same stock glasses

Maybe glasses. Yeah, that would be cute. Yeah, fuck that was it's gonna be awesome A lot of people look like they're dogs, but I really don't look anything like my dog. No my dog's muscular Yeah, yeah, you look like one of those birds that got caught in an oil spill Yeah, yeah, like we need to be clean with a toothbrush on valdez. Yeah ducks. Yeah Get rubbed down by dawn I love how dawn's always like we're good, but it's like definitely also Horrible. Yeah, you're a chemical company. Yeah, that's s.c. Johnson, right? That was the plot of water world is the bad guys live on the valdez

I don't know. I've never seen water world the plot was that there was no more land Oh, wait, it's water world the one where the guy has smokers are the bad guys. That was like the gay Uh, celebrity cause in the 90s was anti smoking and also ending the death penalty. Yes, there are like a celebrity gay That's cool. Well, obviously you should end the death penalty But anytime celebrities fucking get up their own ass about like we're changing the world. Is that where kevin costner has gills? Yeah, uh, there's that fake ass robber. Oh, those are supposed to be gills. Yeah, what do you think they were? I thought it was he had pussies Yeah, oh that opening scene of that movie is that he drinks his own piss. Yeah, which is like

So ridiculous because it you could obviously put seawater in that machine and have it do Yeah, why do you have to do a piss? It's just as salty. Yeah, well, he's he's he wants to conserve man You know, yeah, you're a footprint low fire I kind of like that movie when it came out Yeah, you're an idiot. I was like nine years old though. Yeah, you're stupid. It was the most expensive movie of all time I think we talked about it, but wasn't there a bootleg robin williams in there and there is you know It's also weird is that movie has the same exact plot of as mad max fury road

Yeah, it's not as many sexy bitches. It's the fury road is the inverse of water. They're trying to find water Oh, this one. They're trying to find land. Yeah, I feel bad for the fat ladies I'm second. I guess they're copying. I feel bad for the fat ladies and fury road is amazing. I'm gonna rule I'm gonna fucking put on fury road again tonight. You know, you know what I watch You know what's so funny is I got that 4k blu-ray player and fury road was the first thing I bought and watched it like nine times I'm like, yeah, that's why you get dvds. You watch them over again I have not watched a single one of these dvds the second time other than fury road fury road goes off Hard as shit. I got the projector back in the mix and I bought an even better one dad

And uh, I was just watching Logan again. Yeah, I got Logan. I might actually have rewatched Logan twice We got to take a break and we'll be back in a second. Oh Yo, what's up you motherfuckers? It's it's stave and adam. Yeah stretching our legs here We're the two sports fans on the podcast and guess what bitch? We got a nice motherfucking way for you to enjoy the super bowl with bet dsi.com Adam these motherfuckers have been in business for over 20 years paying winners, huh? Yeah, with a goddamn easy to use mobile playing interface You fucking play win and get paid just like that off your phone the same thing you beat off with

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We're back We're back on Jimmy. What? Oh, I thought you were doing your Jimmy Stewart. No, I was doing my James Dean I'm James Dean. You guys like that? James Dean? That's good. Yeah Is that for him from hell? That's what he sounds like now that he's in hell It's me James Dean It's me James Dean. Everybody loves me. It's me James Dean

Everybody's favorite actor in the world It's me James Dean Hell yeah, you guys like Brando Cosby Brando Cosby dude. Hell yeah. Yeah, that was I made him an awful record of reviews I will I love the record of reviews Yeah, so we drank a shit ton of liquid coating. Oh, yeah, we're on lean. Yeah, we're throated This is gonna be a chopped and screwed up. I have that lean. It's great. I love it. That's it. It's fucking awesome I can't do it because uh, my friend Frida Santana just died. RIP Frado. Yeah, RIP Brandon's bit about

Nah, he'll do that for another. Oh, he's gonna write out three or four years. Yeah I would love to be addicted to liquid coating. Yeah, dude. You can get there DJ screw you die from it too You will at some point that it'll shift now You're an exercise boy at a certain point you'll get into something you just get into things and I feel like coding You will get into it. Do you get fat from uh, yes, big time. Yeah, you get fat Because you're always drinking it with scissor. You're always drinking with sprite and junk. You're drinking like sugar, right? Yeah Constantly god, that's a great drink and fucking McDonald's sweet and sour sauce and liquid coating. Yes I can't wait to be called that the good pussy juice

We're saying that means stop out of the theory that the pussy tastes better. Well, I don't know that it's me and you I think it's just you actually you were doing this bit off mic The non-consensual pussy's got a A sweeter flavor to the lips, you know what I'm saying? Not really on the tongue. That's in the cypher No, it was not me. Nice try. You know the taste on the lips like a clove cigarette when you're like, what? What is that? Yeah, the the forbidden the forbidden pussy's got a little sweet and sour sauce tinge to it. I only like Conscious pussy. Thank you Only pussy that looks common. Yeah

Pussy wearing a backpack And a dashiki. Yeah, hell. Yeah. Yeah, I'd fuck a pussy wearing a dashiki. I don't know what that would look like Dasha's name short for this year. Yes, it is as a matter of fact It is the net you in russian culture They name you after the hat the first guy who fucked you was wearing right when you lost I was saying for her that's why her middle name is kufi Now I was saying for her acting career. Dasha should start doing blackface and change her name to d apostrophe sha That's really good. It's a shot. Yeah

Well, she might get a better, you know, that might not be good though because you know, they're not paying people monique Monique. Yeah, I got she's only getting 500k from netflix or that was their offer. Yeah, they said to her a dollar a pound Hell yeah, dude, I'm just gonna do it like the circus does 500,000 is great Well, not when fucking not when you're a star or whoever chappell's getting like 20 mil I think 40. Yeah, like fucking amy shimmy got what 15? Yeah, those are both like huge celebrities I know. Remember to the fuck I'm with you. I'm just saying. Monique's like on the same level as like eddie griffith Yeah, superstars novelty superstars out of this world. No, nobody fucking gives a shit. No, I know you're saying but she's mad about them

And I'm just mad because you know She's an anomalous of the parkers, which is one of my favorite upn shows I wanted to fuck her daughter who fluctuated and weight A lot and it turns out it was a thyroid problem Oh, I never fucked with that show the parkers mr. Ogilvy, right? He's like real gay or something, but she's trying to fuck him. I think what was it with phase on love What was that family family something? What was the name of that one? I don't remember. Remember there was there was that Oh, yeah, yeah, I like that house of pain house of pain

They would shoot like eight in a day Wait, no, hold on. Hold on. I don't know if it was house of pain phase on love might have been on that But I'm thinking of a different show that was on in the 90s. Oh, no, that's not house. No, that was 2000 That's t pains show. Yeah. No, I was thinking of some shows on in the 90s. Fuck Do you remember the movie major pain? Yes, of course that movie yeah, yeah, he's just abusing children. I think Yeah, that's great. I love seeing kids You know, I was watching the wands brothers show I used to love that show rules. Yeah, it's so we're brothers. Yeah

We're fine. The parenthood. That was the name of the parent. Oh, yeah, that was a good one. Yeah Damn, he was on that show. Yeah, he's on love. Yeah, he was the uncle, right? Yeah, that was a great show. Wasn't that um Who's that guy The black guy with a mustache. What the fuck is his name? Robert Townsend? Yes, Robert Townsend rules, dude He was on the young comedian special the Ronnie Dangerfield one. That's your rocks You guys should watch that shit. What phase on love go to jail for recently? Uh, I'm gonna guess tax evasion. Yeah, because every, uh You know guy

A lot of celebrities just forget that they have to pay taxes the old snipe the old Wesley Snipes problem Who else I feel like somebody else did that? Love was born Langston phase on Santisima. Santisima. Santisima. Yeah, that's a tight name, bro Oh, he's Cuban. That's tight. He is an Afro Latino. Afro Cuban. Yeah Well, no, his dad was in the Navy. Oh, so he fucked a Cuban lady. Yeah What were they up to in Guantanamo before torture? You think it was like a chill? Yeah, dude, surfing. They would read Hemingway in Cubano eating Cubano sandwiches Yes, getting the pickles off because fuck pickles. That's my take. Fuck. Oh shit. You remember don't be a menace

Oh, yeah, don't be a menace Yeah, and I'm gonna have that party and it's like that slow pan everyone's kind of like dancing and they're like grinding And then there's just two people fucking Oh fuck, I love the Wayne's brothers. Yeah Well, good night everybody So we talked about Monique, uh, what about Jeff Bezos? I don't know if we really did talk about what about, uh, Dr. Larry Nassar, if we found out if we found out that, uh Monique got paid less than Bill Cosby did for that bar show in Philly

I did fuck Monique from Baltimore salute. Was she? Yeah Oh good for her. Yep. Me and her on the Mount Rushmore of Baltimore stand-up comedy Me, her, Sonny Fuller, Tommy Simbazo Tommy Simbazo. Sonny Fuller's funny though. Sonny Fuller's funny as shit The rest of the comics that were named aren't but I fuck with Tommy though. He's a good dude No, I meant you and Monique. Oh, what? Yeah, but then also Tommy Monique is funny dude. Yeah, she does this whole thing about skinny bitches and it's just I can't really Describe it, but it's good. I've never just seen Sonny at a mic one time. He's talking about some bitch whose hands smell like pennies

He's like, you know how fucking bad pennies smell Yeah, Sonny rules, bro. Yeah, yeah, I love the pictures he would put up on my space of just him selling crack Like back in his selling crack days Allegedly He had those headshots right with the caution. No, Tommy. That's we've talked about that. Tommy's got the caution But just out of Tommy He's funny. He fucks. He's over in uh, he's over in uh, Dubai doing shows for the prince Um, Dubai more like buh-bye. Yeah for the prince more like buh-bye

Uh, they do like a murder mystery show overseas for the troops. Whoa. Yeah Um, what's a murder mystery series? They kill a troop. Yeah, they can't cover up a sexual assault. Yeah How much better would a full metal jacket been if they all had sex with Pyle and his bunk? That would be just beating him with soap would be a much better That's all it takes as you get beat with soap one time and you got to kill yourself Well, he was clearly a bitch. Well, you killed the you killed the drill drill sergeant and then yourself god damn it Pyle can't you at least get sexually assaulted first? Let the boys bust a couple nuts wait

What is the steers and queers from full metal jacket or is it from another movie? I've had this argument before. I don't know man. I've never seen full metal. Only two things come out of Oklahoma steers and queers Yeah, that's a classic. Is that is that full metal jacket? I believe so, but I don't know I've said that because I guess it is. Is it someone else? Oh, I forget whatever never mind Um, that was my contribution. Nice man. Uh, that movie is weird because it's like two different movies That's pretty cool. If you could be gay or a bull. Yeah, it's like that. It's like that queen song What what, you know, like we will rock you fat bottom girls. No

Fat bottom. We are the champions. Yep. But the beginning is There's two different songs. They always just play them back Daddy's like my penis lick my butt Bohemian rhapsodies and a lot of different songs Bohemian rhapsody You gotta come on your face I fuck you. I fuck your mother named Grace. That's also a song about Adam. So can your penis all over the world I fuck the woman named Grace. Yeah, can you imagine having sex with a woman named Grace? Yeah, I can. That'd be terrible

I think it'd be cool. Actually, I don't think so. She just doesn't take her big pearl necklace off the whole time She's got a frilly ass collar on I had sex with a woman named Grace. Really? Yeah, a Chinese Grace. Yeah. Well, she had like a Chinese name earlier Yeah, so a real name is like Wow, wow, wow. She had a Korean name but the graces are English. Half the Asian names are just a Doppler effect Yeah, we name our daughter after standing outside the highway waiting to get picked up by pickup truck to be brought to factory We hitchhiked from field where our daughter was born

And then after sound of bus go by You know like uh, like Chinese restaurant cooks like they all like get bussed over to random ass fucking town I told you this. No, I listened to an NPR story Well, I told you it after living with well, I forgot about your dumb ass boring story My fucking good story about being the Jane Goodall of the Chinese That's true. Listen, I'm not taking anything away from your ethnographic work. I'm just saying Dude, I was on safari for years You were in the bamboo safari, dude. Yeah. Yeah

Just wearing a fucking pith helmet. No, you're wearing one of those. And how was your day ping pong? I'm like, please stop talking about that. My name is Dan Nguyen. I'm gonna financial advisor at Chase Manhattan Fuck here's a here's a conversation that I was having with my friend Pete Who just moved in shouts out to pete pdz me pete eldest ryan holding it down Uh, if you had to rank the types of Asian cuisines Yes What, you know, we got chinese, vietnamese, japanese, korean Those are east asian

Do you throw in indian food or thai food? Thai, obviously Thai southeast I guess indian Oh, that's that's interesting. That's a little wild card. You got to mix it up, dude We're what's your ranking? You know the top top Japanese japanese because they got sushi and they got fucking ramen. Yeah, and they have like yakitori

Yakiniku Yeah, which is bootleg korean barbecue. All right. Let's not get too racist on the show. That's the real word for a dude I know these are all fake yakini good, dude Yeah, I mean fun of their culture that actually for uh christmas. I got uh the morimoto Morimoto sakushaki. Yeah, that's why you're so desperate to say all these words. You literally just learned I didn't say he said it. No, I know yakini gu bitch because that's that's that's a japanese korean barbecue So I learned it when I was over there. Damn. We should go to k-town tonight and get a little barbecue K-town sucks in

Manhattan, I think it's cool and flush. I'll go to flushing. That's what that's interesting because that's what they say about you adam That I'm cool and you suck in Manhattan. No, that you suck And people flush have been flushing their peanut using your ass like a toilet and flushing their come down. That's why they call it flushing It's where the it's the headquarters of colder. That's right Um, that's a that's a that's a german toilet company. Yeah, I think so. Yeah nice Also, fuck shout out to germany Yeah, they did cool stuff historically speaking. I kind of want to go to berlin. No, fuck germany. I'm not going there

Fucking shit. I said I want to go to berlin. I know i'm saying fuck that. Yeah, stop Yeah, you can't go. I'm not going stop. I want to go to berlin too. Apparently. It's really tight Yeah, let's go to berlin. Apparently. It's pretty cheap still. Yeah, it's cheap and then also people fuck there That's why stop doesn't wait. It's because he's not there's not a guy fucking. He's not a guy like us that has sex I'm sick. First of all, I'm sex stavros. You're not sex We should go to that tech techno club No, we're not going to the burn. I'm dark. We're gonna go to berlin Yeah, dude. I'm negga. Nick

What was that? What? Like negga duck. Nice. Oh, that's nice. Negga duck who's dark wing ducks. I remember. Yeah, I know I just wanted you to say it again. Yeah, yeah Man, they really they really got close to that. Yo, they really did Wow I didn't realize that's like when people are like actually this children's show has a lot of jokes for adults Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's one of them for a very specific kind of adult Yeah, like like I just got a friend named tigger. That's a joke for adults. Yeah Children don't get that one, but us adults. We sure as shit

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good bit for uh, that's a hack black comics bit The one he jumps the most, you know, he's like the most athletic. Yeah, extra bone I always was confused. I always saw tony the tiger and the exxon tiger were the same guy. Whoa Whoa, I didn't even think about that. Yeah, I think he's have a bootleg ass Oh, holy shit because people were complaining about this. I posted that picture of tony the tiger fucking another tiger And they were like, well, isn't his dick tip blue and it's like it's in the ass It's in the ass. So shut the fuck up You know, check don't comment me on instagram with these bullshit

horse queries Uh, but on top of that, I'll venture to say anytime you see tony the tiger without a blue dick tip on dvn art You're actually looking at the exxon tiger. Oh, that's how you tell the difference. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Wait. Did the exxon tiger have no blue Nothing blue about it. I don't think you see the penis. Interesting. It's interesting. I don't think the penis But you could soft ass dick tell you to buy gas Is this the to-go mart? You could write a letter to the CEO of exxon valdez D. S. E. O. Of exxon mobile. My name is stop was how much more jacked. He is the exxon tiger He seems more bad. He's a fucking daddy. He was like the he was the mini mart logo, right? He wasn't like the

The gas logo. He was like the shopping part the shopping He was also there was exxons where the pumps had pump covers that were like tigers. Yeah, they were real tigers though Yeah, yeah, those were taxidermied tiger tails. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're illegal from africa Oh, fuck. Yeah, he's an interesting tiger. He has more stripes than tony for sure He doesn't have the scarf. He would probably top the bandana. If I had to guess he would top tony Don't talk shit on tony. I think exxon. Oh man. The first thing is exxon tiger versus tony the tiger Oh, fuck. Here's one of them kissing. Nice Thank you internet. Yeah, his nose is his nose is like pink

So he's got a pink dick. His dick is normal. Oh, here we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here's a picture. That's what I said, man Yeah, he's more orange than tony. Tony's a little yellow, but there's none of them fucking unfortunately Well, if any of the fans want to get on that first, I think for sure, uh, tony would get would bottom Oh, yeah, it's the scarf. Well, the exxon tiger, you know, he's been out on the oil rigs for months Tony's just fucking around with cereal and taking care of the children. You know how much rougher his hands are The the exxon mobile guy. He's been lifting shit, right? Although maybe he goes the other way. He wants to get fucked. Man. Take his mind off the rig. The funniest, uh, gay DeviantArtPorn is the one that's drawn in pencil on paper and scanned in

Yeah, like public library Imagine you're a man with like a fucking, you know, your home business and your son's like dad Can I use the can use the scanner in your office? I don't know Michael. What do you need to use the scanner for? I just I didn't need to use it for For something if I could use it, please What's the most predominant one? Is it sonic and tails? Yeah, yeah, I would say so. I just need to offer another one of my sonic drawings There's got to be a drawing where all of tails is tails or dicks, right? Yeah. Yeah, John. Yeah, it's Michael

I'm gonna have to uh I'm gonna have to put you on hold for a minute here. My my son needs to Use the scanner In my office and I don't I just I don't I I don't need to leave the room, but I don't want to be in here Yeah, I'll call you back in 15 minutes No, it's the younger one. No, the older ones. He's varsity. He's fine. Yeah, the other one is normal I had to buy condoms for him last week. It's just It's the younger one

Yeah, I think my I think my wife Tried to douche out that load with Lysol He's having Lysol She tried to it bleached the cum and that's why he's like this We can't buy we can't buy regular cereal anymore because he'll start coming to the masculine We found a drawing of the lucky charms guy and he had a cock ring with all of the different charms on it Hahaha

In his room No, I'll call you back in five minutes. He's just going to use this game Take your jet for him or use your scanner I'll be quick or use your scanner. It's a drawing I made for my friend online. Yeah, that's great that you have you have friends now, buddy so Just uh make sure to wash your hands before you touch any of the buttons Thanks Hell yeah, dude, that's a fun little sketch. That's a fun guy. Yeah

Oh, man, I can't wait to have a son a first born masculine child Your cum definitely only produces retard. No. Yeah, dude. You're gonna have a most fucked up. I think the most retarded kids ever No way, dude. You're gonna have fucked up inbred you cum. No, I'm just gonna have gay So I was gonna have some like extremely wheelchair kid that fucking absolutely hooked up the machines that Fucking Lutely. I was st. Jude's kids. Is it just me or do a lot of comics have retarded kids? I think like just a couple, but okay. They really stand out. Yeah Yeah, my son is gonna be so gay it's gonna be so Yeah, well, I could I have beautiful genetic stock. I'm gonna be fine a lot of genetic variants

Fucking Mullins basically all inbred irish bullshit. You're you're all fucked up Jew Yeah, Nick's son is going to be born drunk. Yeah, he will have fas and mom won't even drink the entire time They gave himself Just for leftover in your jizz For years of alcoholism, yeah, that whiskey soaked fucking load. Yeah. No, I'll probably never have kids I'm gonna die alone. Yeah, for sure. You should never have gosh was telling me she really wants a gay kid and she's like Yeah, I'm gonna like take baths with him and stuff. Just like he's not attracted to women That's hilarious. Yeah, I was like that is gonna just be a really fucked up straight guy. He's gonna get eldest basically

Yeah, my mom's gonna be a bath with me till I was 18. It's gonna be a guy that kills women. Yeah That's not how you make gay people I don't know. Yeah, she's gonna expose. She's gonna bring her friends over to show their yucky proceeds at 13 Look at this picture Is it a guy sucking off to me? No, it's just some fucking It's a fat guy. It's a fat guy that's selling like a an ex on statue that he collected. Yeah, nine foot tall Tiger, but just look at this guy's body Oh, hell yeah, dude. Yeah

One man looking like an off-season mall Santa Claus. You know, my guys got the best workshop What's this fam look like a snack thing that people keep saying? Oh, it's just saying that someone looks cute is like They look like a snack. Yeah That's old aren't they making fun of people used to say shit like that? Is that ironic again? It's just now it's people are doing it ironically But yeah, it's just to say someone's cute. Yeah, if someone looks like a snack looking like an mf snack Yes, of course for sure. I'm always looking like a damn snack I always look like the fucking the little glass shelves underneath like I'm at the movie theater next to the fucking

You're looking like a box of milk. I'm looking like a fucking Some twiz. I got a twizler for you, bitch. Hey, stop. I got a question. Are you are you peter peter chips in hummus? peter chips Huh, are you peter chips? peter chips again. Yeah, because you're you're looking like a snack. Yeah, thank you That's good. Are you baby carrots ranch dressing? That's your dick in ranch dressing because you're you're looking like a snack. Thanks, man Yeah, thanks for noticing. I have been working out three days in a row Have you I'm pretty fucking joy. Oh, yeah, the guy that booked me on the israel show is like, um

He's like, do you know how often stuff goes through the planet fitness the story? Oh, no, he's like because I've seen him there like once but I don't know I'm there all the time. I just it's different. It's weird hours. I don't have a schedule But I'm there a lot probably when he's at work, right? Probably when you're at work, you know brainwashing fucking children No, he's chill, dude. He's chill against his politics are good. Shout out to shout out to my guy whatever, but uh Yeah, I'm trying to be honest. Speaking of looking like a snack. They put a

About yeah, you were looking like four inches of you're looking like Liberace, dude. I looked I'm like pretty ridiculous. You look like a fucking weatherman. This Spanish lady did my makeup And she did give me a couple great compliments to what she's like I just want to tell you you have Incredible eyebrows and I was like, well, I didn't even know that's something that's nice. You could have it. I guess they're pretty good Yeah, yeah, and then afterwards she's like I'm like, all right. Goodbye. She's like no, no No, you you don't want me to take your makeup off. I was like ready to walk out the studio looking like Yeah

Psycho did you kiss her? No, but she did kind of put her boobs in my face a couple times when she was doing my makeup I love that and I think it was deliberate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah You should have fucked her dude. She was being real nice. No, I couldn't do it dude. I'm gonna commit a really hard Uh, would you put her boobs in your face? Be honest? No, but I actually I did get kind of a little ASMR-y kind of shit It's like in a very similar way to uh Getting your hair getting your ass fucked. Yeah, and your ass very similar way I don't know what it is about getting my ass fucked. But every time I do it. I get ASMR tingles

It tingles in that and my fucking prostate Uh spinal ASMR tingles every every time I when I give my back blow it out every time I just Just a big giant Nick does that happen to you when you get fucked in the ass Uh, no, sorry. I'm responding to Instagram DMs This is part of the show, dude. What did you say? Uh, did you ignore it? No, not me ignoring it, but I mean we we have a responsibility to fans That was a good ASMR little

I wanted that's why I wanted to ask nick if he ever did that. What does ASMR stand for? Uh, extremely mentally retarded See that's why we needed you in there. Yeah. All right. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be back to my DM Yeah, all right. I'll tell you. I'll see you later. Um, Oh, fuck dude I took these fucked up pills like these fucked up. What kind of over over the internet? No over the internet like indian aneral That uh, why why a homie gave me and I feel fucking fucked up and weird right now Yeah, you shouldn't be doing that. I don't I doesn't even it hasn't made me feel alert. I just feel weird like you're on meth or something

Not really. It's like a messy. I have like a weird feeling going on I don't feel good makes you feel like sick kind of a headache wheezy Not even queasy. I don't know exactly how to describe it. It's like right before Adderall would kick in the feeling Like I'm kind of on edge, but I'm not focusing on anything nervous Man, I really want to get high this week now. I have the apartment to myself I didn't see that guy the guy gonna have a weed party. No, I just I like all my weed guy right now I like smoking weed alone. Damn, bro. Yeah, dude. What a fucking asshole. Did you hear that? Yeah, he sucks Nick

Why don't we do a fucking get fucking stoned up this weekend? No, that'll be terrible. We get high. I did a couple I did a couple of Episodes when I smoked beforehand. Yeah, I had that little weed week. That was a sick house. I was yeah, bro Let's get fucking good for you. Listen. How about this? Yeah, but I have to be alone. No, you don't. Yes. I do dude It's like Mozart It's like we're going through his notes and we're like, it's perfect. Yeah, no mistakes. It's perfect I didn't knew someone could say slur so flawlessly. Yeah a deaf Tony the tiger named Noni the niger There you go, dude. Yeah, dude. You just got to you just got to tap into the weed mindset. That's just you thinking about weed. Yeah

I know how about this? You'll get regular high. I love Noni the niger. I'll get excuse me You know from foster flakes I'll take an edible. I'll get insanely fucked up. I hate those shits, dude They're terrible. It'll be funny and you'll be the only sober one adam I I can now have like two hits. I've worked my way back. You'll be great Is like if they made hettables where it's like weed that's inside of a girl's brain and when she sucks your dick It gets you high. That would be awesome. The downside would be that it would kill the woman to do the surgery to do that to her But I'm willing to allow that to happen. Wait, it would kill her before you got

So they replace her brain with weed and then she sucks your dick and when you come it creates a vacuum that sucks the weed into your dick And that rips out her spine and she experiences horrific pain. Wow, and it kills her But that doesn't get I but I think the british are coming to do And that's that's a real bong hit train. Okay. Well, what if that was the only way you could smoke weed? Would you of course? All right. I know adam would yeah, he doesn't care about women. He doesn't care about women I wouldn't me. I care about women up until it's convenient for me to not care about women. I care all the time Do you you stop cares too much? You know you're asleep Even when I'm asleep, I care about there. I care about women in business. You know, yes

Let's make deals ladies. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Let's let's exclude people. Let's I like women are better at business because they're catty or in spiteful Yeah, that's true That's like that's like what makes business fun. Yeah, it's fucking people over Yeah, calling someone poor behind his back Yeah, one of the guys sends his child to public school Why would you want to fucking indian ceo goes on stage wearing sandals? Mm-hmm. You know, yeah, fuck that shit. I know give me a bitch give me give me a mean girl And the in the in the words of mike tyson like a powerful type of bitch like the president of a ceo company

That's my favorite part of that documentary. Yeah, actually, it's my favorite part of that documentary and you only liked it after I said That's not true Shut up Oh, fuck that part is so funny Oh, no, like the president of a ceo company. I got to nethery. I'm ferocious. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. He's a good. He's a good guy definitely Yeah, I mean he he raped at the right time. I guess socially Yeah, and he's not sorry about it or anything, right? That's who that taylor swift albums about right? It's about Mike tyson and robin gibbons. Was that 1989? I think it was in the 90s. It was in the 90s

89 was when he when he lost to Uh buster douglas then what 92 is that 89 because it was my birthday The day I was born. Mm-hmm was the day tyson lost. Yep. Damn Mm-hmm. I very I very vividly. I remember there. I was there. My mom gave birth at the fight That's why I remember at the fight on the mat. Yeah in the ring. That's why he lost Yeah, and since stav's parents lost all the money they brought over from gree spitting on that fight. Yeah, it's true They lost all their drachma. All of that fight. Yes. Yeah. Oh, I guess adam knows what the the money is called in gree Interesting looks like little dictionary boy. That was last tidbit in right at the end of the episode

Actually, that's not what the money is called in gree's the money's called the euro. Originally though. It was called the rachmi Thank drachma. All right, and that's the end of the episode. Wait, wait, wait. Everyone listen to the fucking patreon If you don't already, uh, we do double the damn motherfucking episodes. Oh, yeah, we got a website now too Do we I guess sort of launched but no, I what what I'm gonna do. It hasn't launched yet Okay, well, uh Yeah, I we should probably plug that at the beginning rather than the yeah But a lot of people I guess I don't know why we didn't think to do that But there's two episodes every week if you like to the show

Uh, you don't you want another episode? What? Uh, I haven't confirmed it yet, but uh, no, there's uh, uh, uh Uh, uh fucking shit God damn it. Why'd you have to ask me that question? Sorry, dude. I was just wondering patreon There's two episodes of fucking week one is free and one is paid with the five dollars We're not searchable on patreon because it's adult content So you got to go either go to google and type in come town patreon or go to patreon.com slash come town You some subscribe it gives you a personalized rss link you add that to

Whatever podcast player you use and then you get the additional episode a week We also have like video content that goes up on there and then we are Going to be launching a website soon where Subscribers will have like added You know perks as far as well. That depends on like what I can figure out with uh, but right now just for right now We go right for now. Yeah, yeah free double the apps and a whole fucking backlog. So if you're if you want more come Yeah, yeah, there's about there's like 70 episodes on there. Yeah. Uh, all right. Thanks guys