The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 98 – Adam’s birthday

Episode Date: April 12, 2018

adam is 31 now lol

I usually do this to start with a straight bar because I think it's a great exercise. Most of them are in strength but also keeping the mobility in the biceps. You have to have good flexibility to be able to do it. And then also that they usually start in the bottom of the rack making 5-10 reps in each and increasing the weight until I fail to hit 6-7 reps. So Magnus, what's up? You're listening to the Real Ass Dude Podcast. I'm Lewis J. Gomez, joined by Zac Amico, the Puerto Rican Sniper, and my girlfriend, Kim, something.

Hi! Shut up, bitch! I'm just kidding, we were laughing. Me and Kim were laughing earlier, I was beating her in public. I guess. That was good, that was some good satire on our part. Yeah, it was. Taking down some rivals, dude. We spoke truth to power.

The real powerful podcast. Big boys, big arms, big muscles, easy lift. Should we do ComeFest the same weekend as SkankFest? Yeah, I think we were supposed to get a SkankFest offer than we didn't. Nice. Wow. That's fucking, that's war, dude. Wow, rescinded.

How dare they? ComeFest. What weekend is SkankFest? You heard it here first, folks, we're doing ComeFest. Sponsor buy-in, monster energy. Whatever weekend SkankFest is. And that botulism cold brew coffee company. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're going to skip the coffee and just give you botulism straight up. The creek is going to catch on fire and a bunch of people are going to burn to death. And that's how, that's how the, that's the end of, I did, I did the live. Oh yeah, we were on that show at the stand. No, no, no. Are you left? I know. Oh yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that was abysmal. What's that? Are you opening my mail? I'm opening my mail. Oh, Adam, here's your chance to open his mail. Don't open my mail. Let me. Thank you.

Thank you. You're going to get stabbed. Stop. Ow. Don't wield knives. Oh, fuck. I see. Look that up.

How many times do I have to ask you not to wield knives in my house? What are you opening, man? The check for Mack Weldon. Oh, nice. Yeah. Nice. Four million dollars. Yeah.

You were going to get a cut until you so rudely pulled my mail away from there. Now you're going to get cut. You know what I mean? Get a little slice. Dude, do not slice me. Do not. Are you threatening to circumcise me because I gave Adam your mail? Yeah.

Do not do that. Nothing gives me more of a thrill than breaking a federal law. I got to change my address. Oh yeah. You addressed it. Yeah, my bank. Oh yeah, you could just do that online. No, not if you can't.

You have to go into the branch and fill a paper. I think I thought you meant like a forwarding. No, I already did all that. Yeah. Anyways, so let's get into it. Of course. Black Panther surpasses Titanic in the box office. Huge, right.

You know what? I'm just going to say it, dude. This is bullshit. Of course it is. This is fucking bullshit. I mean, look, the representation is fine. Yeah. Do not do better than Titanic.

Not Titanic. No disrespect. That would be the James Cameron movie. That's white greatness right there. Well, it's women. It's white excellence. It's slut. It's slut excellence.

Yeah. You know, Rhodes fucked so good she got the... Do you have to call Judge Mathis your black excellency? When you're in court? Him and Judge Joe Brown. Look, I already explained your black excellency. We agreed it was a verbal contract. I love people do that.

All those small claim shows, I think. We had a verbal contract. Which means someone lied to me. Judge Mathis is in the Black Panther. Really? Yeah. He's the head of the Supreme Court. I used to be a Black Panther.

And now I'm a judge. Was he a Black Panther actually? Judge Mathis? No, he was a criminal. He was in a gang. Yeah. So he was a Black Panther? A hoodlum.

Take that. Right, guys? That terrorist organization. Right? So what happens in Black Panther? It's the Hutus and the Tutsis. And they're like squaring off. Living it up in the hotel room.

Hotel Wakanda. Such a dark-ass place. Such a dark-ass place. Fuck, what was the guy's name in it? I said to the barkeep. Please bring me my Swisher Sweets. He said we haven't had that spirit here since, I don't know, 1975. When that app came out where you can change people's races and then they took that option

away after three days because they were like, this is just a blackface app. Someone did me and I looked a lot like Don Cheadle. I saw that picture. You look like Don Cheadle. I thought I looked like Don Cheadle. You look like an ugly black guy. Don Cheadle is a movie star. We had a lot of charisma.

You look like an ugly black guy with a fucked up due nose. But Don Cheadle has sort of that. Yes, he does. If you look closer. Now you kind of look like Morgan Freeman playing a sharecropper. Yeah, the one that's ratting out the other sharecroppers for trying to free themselves from that fucked up economic situation. Yeah, that's true. That's the look in your eyes.

Morgan Freeman has stuff on his face, right? Yeah. Didn't he fuck his daughter or stepdaughter or granddaughter or something? He did. He fucked his daughter and his stepdaughter. He's the greatest actor. Seriously though, because Woody Allen is getting a big time for his judge crimes. Morgan Freeman had sex with his whole family.

Seriously, didn't he do something like something weird? I thought he did for real. This isn't ringing the bell either, you motherfucker. No, I don't remember that at all. I think he fucked, yeah, he fucked someone bad. He fucked someone bad? Someone that he should not have fucked. Whoa.

Yeah, you're right. You're not wrong. Thank you. There was a weird thing he did where he slid it in to a... She's like somehow related and much younger. Yeah. And we just let him get a pass because he's got that good voice. Incredible voice.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's fucking people I'm not related to. The first time I saw my stepdaughter, I knew I was going to fuck her. Well now, Miss Dufresne, why don't you come over here and take a seat right on my car? Why do they call you red? Well, take a look at it. Oh, that is red. It's pretty red. A black-ass dick in the reddest dick you've ever seen in your life.

This is how Santa Claus finds his way into Mrs. Claus's pussy with my cock. He has to do that because the women he fucked still believe in Santa Claus. So he can relate to them. The first time I had sex with my daughter, I knew... It's like a different Shawshank that's just for sex offenders. That morning, we cleaned the roof, and because we did such a good job, the warden brought us all a bunch of frosty child pornography. Nothing like a nice, nice cool glass of suds while masturbating to child pornography on the roof of the home for the criminally pedophilic, Shawshank, Alabama. The criminally pedophilic?

Yeah, not me. I'm not a criminally pedophilic. I dabble pedophilically. The hobbyist. I'm a hobbyist pedophilic. Yeah, so, you know what, Adam, why aren't the Jews sort of like, hey, you guys are taking our guy down? We should take that. Yeah, because we're natural criminal defense attorneys. You're making too much money keeping him out of the home for the pedophilic. We're not trying to take the money out of our pocket.

How about a movie, your little defense racket? How about a movie where Sean Penn's character from Carlitos Way, Kleinfeld, is roommates with Sean Penn's character from I Am Sam? Oh, yeah, that's good. That's the one where he has like an afro, right? Yeah, he plays... He looks like Phil. He's playing Phil, basically. It's Sean Penn being like, oh boy, Carlito, I'm in a real jam here. It's like, why didn't they just hire a Jewish actor?

This doesn't make any sense. I thought he nailed it. He's very anti-Semitic, which is, I guess, what they were going for. The movie's an Italian playing a Puerto Rican and then like an Irish guy playing a Jew. And he already had Puccino play a Cuban in another movie, in Scarface. Yeah, I love that line in Carlito's way when he's like, I just know that if they catch my Puerto Rican ass, Bob 87 Street, my Puerto Rican ass. I think that's right around the time where... See no rules, man. What a fucking retarded career.

I think that's right around the time where he got bad, like where he just screamed. I remember seeing Carlito's way when I was a teenager and I was like, awesome. Of course. It's boobs, guns. Carlito's way was in there. My boy John Leguizamo. It was on HBO a lot too. I straight up love John Leguizamo.

Me too, man. He's great. When he shows up in John Wick, the first time I saw it, I'm like, hell yeah. Hell yeah. I love John Leguizamo. That little ass of mustache. Yeah. I met him on a plane.

Was that punk? Look, I work with your father, all right? I don't know you. I mean, the guy calls him a bitch. I love that movie. That movie's the best movie. My favorite movie is Kill Bill and my second favorite movie is John Wick. Yeah.

Really? I thought your favorite movie was Ice Cream. It's not. Got it. It's our favorite movie is the, let's all go to the lobby to get ourselves a snack video. Yeah. That's a good video.

The production value. Flapping loudly. Did you fall? Did you cry when you were a little kid watching Willy Wonka when the kid fell in the chocolate river? Yeah. I wore a fucking injustice. I wore a blue.

Cops have that blue armband. Yeah. I wore one of those. For that guy. For Augustus Blue. For your fallen brother. Yeah. Your fallen German brother.

Also, you know, it was a big moment for me when Fat Bastard was on the screen. I cried. You felt that. I was representation. Did you think that that was like fat face though? Because he was wearing a suit? No, it was just not. You know, it was a start.

It was a start. It wasn't perfect. Yeah. Kind of like Appu. How Indians feel about Appu. Yeah. One specific Indian feels about Appu. Is that something happened with Appu?

They addressed it. I think one of the new. What did they say? I don't know. I didn't watch. Apparently it was like one line. Lisa was like, fuck Hindus. And then she fucked off a cow.

Yeah. Marge, did you know Appu is a black man now? Oh, homie. That's great. Yeah, he's a black man and he's president. Welcome to season 30 everybody. He was born a woman though. He's trans black man.

Yeah. Were they going to kill the character? Because Tim Dylan texted me and he said he showed me something that Hari had said about like, you know, they shouldn't kill off Appu that he should be competing with Mr. Burns. What? Oh, as like a billionaire. As a billionaire.

Oh, cool. That's awesome. That's a good solution. But keep the white guy voicing him. Isn't that the central problem? That's the only problem. No, the problem is that the show isn't called the Appu show and it's about Appu's life as a stand-up comedian that's also a millionaire, but it's also kind of allowed to say the

n-word sometimes. And like, he's a brown guy. So Kanye on the table saying the n-word casually on the table, you know, parents make both easy, you know, $200,000 a year. Doctors fucking. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, that was the problem.

That was because it was Hank Azaria was doing the voice. No, the Hank Azaria is not even in the documentary. Really? No. Nice. Yeah. I think you refused to be in it. Good.

You know what Hank was great in? His net worth is like, his net worth has got to be like $60 million. Who? Hank Azaria. Everyone. Hank Azaria. Hank Azaria. Everyone in The Simpsons is rich as hell, right?

He's so funny in the bird cage, too, where he plays there like their boy, their house boy. Yeah. Yeah. He's hilarious. I forgot that was him. Yeah, Hank Azaria. Holy shit. I love that movie.

He's amazing. I think the only movie that Dan Castellaneta is in that I can think of is he's just sitting in like a lawyer's office in War of the Roses. He's just sitting there like reacting to whatever the lawyer's discreet. Boy, that's terrible. You ever see that movie? No. What is that about a divorce or something?

Yeah. I think it's Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. I think so. Kathleen Turner. Benzant. Benzant. Yeah. When she had her fastball.

Yeah. When Titties was looking right. Yeah. They have a marriage and the marriage is nice at first. Then it gets bad. Then they destroy their house together. Do they fuck at the end? They won't.

Neither of them will. He won't sign the divorce papers or something or they just hate each other. Yeah. I should watch that. I like movies about divorce where white people's lives are getting destroyed. Kramer versus Kramer. Kramer versus Kramer. Kramer versus Kramer is a great movie.

Yeah, it is a good movie. Well, you want the orange juice? What? Your mom made orange juice different than this. I'm sorry that this isn't the orange juice the way you wanted it. I'm not a good father for you. Is that what you're saying to me, you little faggot? This is what happens to me.

He pulls his dick out or whatever. Didn't he get me too, too? Yeah. Who? Dustin Hoffman? Yeah. You tend to be Rain Man. Yeah.

Definitely a nice part, Titties. Definitely a nice... Please suck my penis. Yeah. You got two sperms in your put in your mouth. Can I rape you? Please let me rape you. Yeah.

Very good nipples. You got very good nipples. Yeah. Excuse me, ma'am. Very brown asshole. Very brown asshole. Very brown asshole. I want to tongue your ass open.

That was like... Damn, that is the best. That was one... I want to do that for an hour. Yeah. Yeah. Tom Cruise. Dustin Hoffman.

Can a retarded man get head from strangers? What the hell is wrong with you, Ray? Rain Man. Rain Man. New Line Cinema presents a touching story about a retarded man that just wants to get his dick sucked. Definitely a nice part of the lip song. Not that trouble, right?

Definitely a nice... No, his name is Ray. Yeah, whatever. It doesn't matter. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie.

Can I suck that woman's tits? God damn it, Ray. I didn't bring you to Vegas to fuck horse. Yes, you did. Oh, right. I did. Rain Man. There's no other plot.

He just takes a retarded guy to fuck a whore in Vegas. Definitely some good pussy here on Vegas. Definitely a good pussy. Oh, shit. I love Rain Man. Damn, that's a good... Yeah, because if you pretend you're retarded, you can just plead criminally pedophilic. Uh-oh.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Charlie. She's eight. I didn't know she was eight, Charlie. I'm sorry. Are you kidding me? Numbers are the only thing you understand. God damn it, Ray.

You love counting and fucking... How the hell did you fuck this up? Definitely got my dick too hard. Definitely was too horny. God damn. We should fucking... we should start our movie studio where we make Brain Man. We make Brain Man happen. We just take turns playing Dustin Hoffman.

It's just different actors. It's like that Mitchell and Weblook sketch where the two actors can't decide who gets to be Sherlock Holmes and who gets to be Watson. Oh, that's funny. And so, like, every time the camera changes, they've switched. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's hilarious. Damn, that was basically the bit I was going for in my head. Yeah, no, that's no funnier than you, and it's a good show.

Yeah, they're not funny, but it is a good show. Mitchell and Weblook is better than Peepshow. I know that you can't really compare the two. I disagree. Of course you disagree with your bitch. Well, what's a sketch show and what's a sitcom? I was literally just saying you can't really compare the two because they're different genres, but Mitchell and Weblook is funnier. I don't know.

Peepshow, I think, is a masterpiece. It is good as hell. It's so funny. I got something funny for you right here. What's that? I'm a fucking clown-ass dick. You got a little clown-ass dick? I got big ass shoes on my...

Your balls? Your balls have big ass shoes. You have the Patch Adams nose at the end of your dick. A lot of big red dick episode. Definitely a red dick. The first time I saw that. Well, cross over. Why are you in here?

When did you get in here? Yeah, when Brain Man came into the prison, I knew I was going to fuck him. What's your name? Candy Dufresne? Definitely a good nickname for me. Holy fuck. Damn, folks. That's why you play the games for Candy Dufresne.

That's what you do it for, man. You should end the episode. The Strawberry Short Shank Prison? The Strawberry Short Shank Redemption? Come on in here. There's some good pussy over here. When Candy Dufresne first came into Charleston. It wasn't until he was raped by the sisters.

Yeah, the sisters. Damn. The gay villains. The gay villains. That's right. Perfect metaphor for society. Wasn't Dustin Hoffman kind of set up in Me Too, though? It wasn't like...

It happened like 50 years ago, and he said, like, high, or he grabbed a woman. I don't know. Like a literal fucking celebrity just getting easy pussy, and, you know, he'd cross the line once or twice. So I've said it before, and I'll say it again. No man has ever been guilty of it. Yep. Mm-hmm.

Very true. Damn. I gotta piss. I should have thought about this before. That's fun. Before the show. Okay, 11 minutes till break time. Oh, break time.

Yeah, we're taking a little lunch break on this episode. Nice fucking fish on my cake. I brought some sandwiches. What kind? Ham and Swiss. That's pretty standard. I like Ham and Swiss. I like Ham and Swiss.

Yeah, yeah. That's a good... It's a nice classic. You did some hard work all fucking morning long and take a lunch break. That's like a little bitch-ass English tea sandwich, dude. I like it. You know what I'm getting? Now that I got a kitchen, that's clean.

Yeah, your own kitchen. Yeah, dude, I've been having hibiscus tea. I can already feel my blood pressure dropping. I haven't been checking it because my new thing now is not checking. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, why check? Yeah. Just either live or die.

Right. Right? The choice is yours. The sky style. In front of you is a retarded man's penis. Inside of his penis is the key to the shackles around your ankles. What part of his penis? But there's a video camera taping you and if you suck his dick, you'll go to jail for

sucking a retarded guy's dick. The worst crime of all. Definitely get the key out of my head. Peter, in your life you neglected your son with Down syndrome to go fuck prostitutes. Now you have to play a game. Live or die, the choice is yours. Saw 17, coming to theaters this summer. Black Saw.

I know you all don't want to play a game. They're all female reboot of Saw. Rihanna. I'm trans. In front of you is my dick. Cut it off. Or die. Replace it with a pussy.

Dr. Spencer, in your life you refused to cut off my dick, but now you can either cut off my dick or be snapped to death by rat traps. I've never seen a Saw movie. The first one was fun. The first three are okay. Danny Glover's in there too, right? They're like Final Destination. Danny Glover's in Saw?

Yeah, I think so. I'm not doing Danny Glover, that's the voices of Jigsaw. I know, I know. Suck my dick or die. Because his name's Jigsaw, we all know what Black Saw's name would be. Oh yeah, of course. I'm not going to do it. But we all, you all know what we're getting at here.

Of course it's Scrimshaw. Yeah, it's Scrimshaw. And now, the end of the movie, when I reveal my true name, it's Scrimshaw. What's Jigsaw's deal? He's just a guy. He's a clown. He's a guy that had cancer and like he wants to get back at people that don't appreciate their lives.

Oh, damn. Because he's dying of cancer. Goddamn, bro. Just enjoy your last couple years. Does one person live at the end of each one? Or are they all dead? Yeah, I think most people live. Most people live?

Yeah. They take their fucked up shit. Yeah. Damn, your dick is stuck inside of a teletubby. You can cut it off or continue fucking the doll. Saw 18. I mean, I guess I'll just fuck the, I don't really want to fuck it, but I don't want to fuck my cock off.

Oh, fuck. Inside of your son's ass, I've inserted a flashlight. It's technically not gay. He's passed out. He wakes up in 12 minutes. Interesting question. Is that pedophilia? Pedophilia.

Fucking a flashlight inside of a child's ass. It was a half Indian, half Japanese comedian. He's going to do an hour and a half of stand up comedy about the new Samsung Galaxy S8. Unless you cut your dick off. Unless you kill yourself with the gun in front of you. Are you finished? Yeah. Live or die, the choice is yours.

Can't I just kill Lainan? Oh, no, you can't. Well, why not? The guns aren't killable. That's cheating. No, don't do that part. Get out of this room anyway you can, except using that door next to you. I couldn't figure out a way to lock it.

So don't go through that door. Because look, I've got nine of these rooms. There's ghosts in there. I don't have any. I can't tell you what's in there, but it's bad. It's really bad. I think the circular saw attached to Uranus with barbed wire is bad. I'm really not going to like this in that room.

No, don't go through there. To Jamba Juice. It's a Panera bread. That sauce sounds awesome. I can't wait to watch it. Yeah, dude. I can't wait to go to Panera bread. I love Panera.

I haven't been to a Panera. Whenever I hang out with my dad, that's the go-to. He's like, you want to go over to Panera bread? Yeah, because the parents think it's nice. You got to lift your dad up out of Panera, dude. Vinicius is done with Panera. I take her to good restaurants now. My dad comes home from work and goes to sleep with me.

I know, dude, but that's why you got to be a nice little, you know, you got to get him back in, dude. Start doing coke with your dad. Take him to a strip club. Let him fuck a retarded person. A blip club. A blip club. A tip club.

A strip club. A strip poker. Big poker. Big and back. Definitely want to play strip poker while we're here, right? No, they get naked. Yeah. I'm already naked.

And he's like, look how big his dick is. And he's like, he's retarded. I do feel like retarded people have bigger dicks, man. Yeah. You feel that way. I feel that way, too. Well, it's because they're always hard. True.

It's true. That is true. The dicks never go limp. Just imagine if you were that easily excited. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Just seeing a toothpaste commercial would probably do it for a retarded guy.

A lady smiling. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Those brilliant white teeth. Sparkling. Just waiting to be destroyed with Reese's. Norman used to have some joke about how much harder it is to fuck a retarded girl in the mouth because it's filled with candy.

That wasn't the joke, but the punchline revolved around, you know, because her mouth is filled with candy, which was so funny to me. RIP, Norman. There was a guy. Oh, I didn't realize he died. Yeah. His birthday is coming up. How old is he going?

Someone older than you? Probably like 90 something. He's like 90. Yeah. He's got to be like 93 years old. He's vaping, though. He's so old that his birthday is actually on the Georgian calendar. Wow.

So it's not even, yeah, it's like 10 months. Oh, cool. So he can be younger. Metric months. Damn, it's fucked up. There's different calendars. Yeah. Yeah, it's really fucked up.

It's so funny that the Chinese are at like year 9000 and they still like, they're like, you spit in door. Like 7000. Yeah. They should be in the church. They don't have like basic shit. Yeah. Whereas they're flying cars and like fucking silver jumpsuits and shit.

All Chinese people should have the same bull cut, which I guess they're halfway there. That's the only one they have done so far. Yeah. Food should be pellets. Yeah. You know, like the Germans. They all have a water bottle you suck off of. Yeah.

Amster cages. You should have a sexy robot mane you can fuck. Yeah. I saw Ernest today. Oh, yeah. He went to Amber's new apartment. Yeah. He had to get my mail.

And how's Ernest looking? You know, he's like making his way around the place. He seems depressed. He's figuring it out. He misses, yeah. He misses his old, his old, you know. He had a place. Yeah.

That's his place. He was happy with Ernest's place. That's where he thought he was going to die. Tuesday on ABC. Yeah. It's actually incredible he didn't die in that apartment. It'd be great if Ernest had a bar. Yeah.

Yeah. It would be cool. Cat bar tender. Yeah. A little bow tie on his ass. Yeah, yeah. A vest. That would be awesome.

He's knocking things over. RIP, Ernest. Are you going to get a, you should get a fucking cat, dude. No, I'm not going to. Now that I have a nice fucking place, I'm never going to do anything to, to, you know, have hair all over the place. Like have friends over. Yeah.

I'll have friends over. I mean, we should do some kind of pay-per-view thing. Yeah. We fuck. I think they canceled Canelo Glove. They did. That sucks, dude. Fucking.

Canelo. He was taking steroids. And said it was tainted meat. He's a, he's a motherfucker, dude. Well, of course he's going to do steroids. You got his fucking nuts whipped by triple G. Well, they was a tie. Wasn't it?

Yeah. But he got fucked up. Yeah. He got fucked up. And he just like wasn't strong enough. Yeah. Yeah. They got steroids.

Although it'd be nice. I mean, if all the multiple boxes have said it's tainted meat in Mexico. Should everybody be jacked? In Mexico. Wait, they're tainting the meat with fucking steroids. They were saying it's steroids. They got steroids. They got steroids for tainted meat in Mexico.

They got steroids for tainted meat in Mexico. In Mexico. That's what, but it means line. Yeah, but like he's like. Fellows. We got to take a trip down though. Yeah. To Mexico.

To Juana. I don't know if I could do. Yeah, he's from Tijuana, I think. I don't know where he's from. Where he's from like Baja. Baja. California. They got steroids because of the heart thing.

You're worried about it because you are doing steroids. Well, you're considering it. I mean, I've done a little bit. I did one cycle just to wake up. Were you younger? No. No. Over the last couple of months.

Three days ago. You did a cycle? Yeah. What do you think I'm saying? Where'd you get it? I went to the gym. Some guy gave it to you? Yeah.

You just go up to the guy and be like. What's you got? She's the most Italian looking guy. Yeah. Yeah. She's like some WAP trainer that would fucking offer steroids to. He's like, I got GHB and steroids. He's like, for you personally, I would recommend.

Yeah. I sell two things. The date rape drug and steroids. Steroids and crack cocaine. We should go to Mexico though. I heard that you can do GHB like recreationally if you don't drink. Me and Adam were talking about going to Greece. Yeah, yeah.

We want to go to Greece. Of course. I said me and Adam. Well, you're going to go without me? You're going to go to Greece without me? Yes. That's for our band. Yeah.

We're in a band. We have to do band practice. Let me be the tambourine guy. Dude, you didn't spend as much money on us. No, you got to get a full drum kit. I'll buy a full drum kit. Actually, if you got a drum kit, we should start the World divorce band. I mean, I would be so bad at drumming.

There's no idea how to play the instrument. I mean, I can't play anything. You need to start your first band. Let's do it, dude. Let's go get drums. I'm going to buy something else. I'm going to buy a bassoon. I'll buy a bassoon.

Get drums, dude. You can't play a reedid instrument. Why not? Get a trumpet. Did you do band in high school? Dude, I have no musical ability whatsoever. We need drums, dude. There's got to be some kind of percussive element.

Didn't you have to take some sort of art selective in high school? Okay, here's what I'll do. I'll get one of those really simple... Drums are easy, dude. I'll get the drum kit. We'll keep it at your apartment. I'll come over and play the drums. I hope we will keep it at your apartment.

I don't have room. You're the biggest place now. I could do it in my second room here. Oh, that should be a little studio. We could do a little studio. My apartment is probably bigger than this, but this living room is much bigger than mine. Yeah.

You're living in small, bigger bedrooms. I will play drums in your bedroom. All right. Well, we're going to take a break, and then we'll be back in a minute. Wait, no. We don't have to take a break. I'll just...

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And you can keep the underwear. So again, Macwellton.com, promo code COMTOWN. Check them out. All right. Thanks. And we're back. Do I have to piss because I have to piss? I do have to piss, but you know what?

Fuck it. Let's just go. No, we're going. Everybody has to piss. Hand me the cake. No, I want the cake. Can I have like a little piece of cake? You're just trying to do all the things that I'm doing.

No. This cake is mine. I had the cake first. He's copying me. No, I have to piss. Now I have to eat the cake. Now I go to take a drink and he copies me. God damn.

It's like, it's like that. I need another Lacroix. Hold on a second. Okay. All right. I have to piss. So I'm alone right now on the show. All right.

So this is what everyone wanted. This is what the fans have been writing in for. Finally, the Adam Friedland moment on the show. This is where I can tell my true feelings. You just kicked my fucking dog food over. Anyway, why did you leave my fridge open and you brought the whole cake out? Who's this? Who's Lacroix is this?

I don't know. They all dent it up. That's not mine. That's stopped. This one was mine. Was that one mine? That was yours. Anyway, we're back.

Sorry about the dog food. I'm sure the dog will eat it off the floor. Yeah, but don't leave the fridge open. I'm sorry. And you brought the whole cake. I was worried that the show was going to go bad without me. So I had to rush back over here. Well, bitch, look who's back and look who has two Lacroix.

And no, it's not. This is the dental one. Oh, how did it get over here? Well, give me the new one. Why did you get this? Guess who has two Lacroix in the rest of the cake, bitch? I don't care. You know, you were in the bathroom trying to find your tiny piece.

This is all the cake I want. I don't want a whole cake. Yeah. Well, I want the whole fucking cake and I'm going to eat it because it's my birthday. It's actually it was Adam's birthday. It's my birthday. That's the cake his girlfriend made. Well, when it's my friend's birthday, it's my birthday.

It's the same goat. That's the old expression we all know in love. What's yours is mine. That's so true. Sue Casa Esmi Casa. I want to start becoming one of those birthday month girls. You are one of those birthday month girls. I dated a birthday month girl and she was a fucking nightmare.

Yeah, they're the worst kind of girls. What did you do for the birthday month? Most of it got yelled at. It's my fucking birthday. It's actually three and a half weeks. One time I dumped a girl like three weeks before Valentine's Day. She's like Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Are you going to do this to me?

That's the thing, man. It's like fucking when you get to an adult time so fast, there's literally no time you can break. There's like three days out of the year. You can break up. Yeah, that's true. I was like Martin Luther King Day is sooner than Valentine's Day. Technically.

It's fucking Bastille Day. You asshole. You're going to break everything on Arbor Day. You know I love fucking trees. You motherfucker. You really love trees? Afro, man. Yeah.

I'm not talking about it. It's so true, man. He was going to do all those things and then he got high. Afro man loves trees, brother. I was going to suck a dick, but then I got high. I was going to live life as a homosexual man. But then I got high. I was going to be happy for the first time.

That was in eighth grade. I was like, this is the coolest song. That was definitely in the most moving we were talking about. Carlitos Way Zone. You listen to Afro, man. Carlitos Way. You know what I'm saying? Play Crazy Taxi.

Crazy Taxi was dope. This is delectable. I know it's a good cake. I had plenty of it. Yeah, it does. You're not making me jealous at all. I love having the entire cake to myself. Don't give a fuck.

You're just eating Adam's cake. That cream cheese frosting. And you're putting your fingers all over the fucking plate like an asshole. You know what makes it better is that there's more of it. I don't give a fuck. I had plenty. I had plenty. Cake lift.

God damn. Shout out to Dasha for making a good ass cake, though. It's good in a way that you couldn't tell if you only had a tiny piece. That's absolutely untrue. And I had a big ass piece, by the way, motherfucker. Well, you thought I had a little piece? Yeah. Yeah, right, bitch.

What's this got? Carrots in it? It's a carrot cake. But it has coconut and... It's a tropical carrot cake. Yeah, I tasted the pineapple. I think I just ate some pineapple. Yeah, it's very nice.

It's very tropical. It's refreshing. Kind of a tropical carrot cake. God damn. It's basically like eating fruit. I love sweets. I've been watching... You know I've been watching a lot of...

It's good for you. Is Beyond Belief Factor Fiction with Jonathan Frakes? What is that? Like one of those Ripley's, Bleed or Anarchist? Yeah, yeah. When it comes out and then set up like one of these vignettes. You have to guess whether or not the story has real... Oh yeah, I love that shit.

That show is great. The first season was hosted by James Brolin. And then they replaced him with Jonathan Frakes, yeah. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's wild. Yeah. But it's like everyone...

Every time... You know, he has this room that he's in. Yes. And they set up all the short movies or whatever with him describing the thing. But there's like something related to the story in the room. Like an object or a jacket. So there's one that was like a dessert case from a diner. And then Jonathan Frakes comes out into the camera and he's like,

Dessert! The final meal? Or is it? Josh, something, Scurelli, you know, like... Found out the hard way that eating dessert might not be so sweet after all. He just died of diabetes and old age. Yeah, yeah. And then they play the, you know, the movie or whatever and it's like,

Is that possible? Two men engaged in a homosexual relationship? Jonathan Frakes. This is fact or fact? Fact or fact. Yeah, that was a fucking good ass... That was a good ass TV show. That was in...

I feel like that was in the WB Late Night rotation, right? Yeah. Sort of after Star Trek Voyager? After Steve Harvey's show. Steve Harvey's show? Jonathan Frakes rules. I don't know who he is. He's Commander Riker from Star Trek.

Oh, yes! Oh, it's all coming together now. I did love that shit. He's the Barack Obama of the Star Trek universe. That's true. It is true, dude. You're not wrong by saying that. No, it's a smart statement.

What sentence is that? Everybody likes him. Everyone likes him. Even though he's a warmonger. Yeah. Even though he droned a fucking Klingon wedding. It's an episode where he has to go on the Klingon ship. They have to trade officers.

And then he mutinies the Klingon ship to save everybody. And it's like, damn, Riker's cool as shit. And he's smarter than everybody. Yeah, and he's named after the prison. Riker's Island. Yeah. Imagine, you'd be like a Star Trek nerd getting charged with a child pornography crime. And they're like, we're sent to you to 12 months on Riker's Island.

And he's like, oh, boy, this is going to be great. And then he gets there. And there's some black guys like, you know, like, this is motherfucker. This is a baby rapist. And he's like, long and prospering. Did you guys do the death grip on him? And he gets raped immediately? Riker's.

Oh, fuck. I wish that wasn't so funny that I couldn't do the bit. It's so dweebishly funny. Oh, boy. Riker's Island. Oh, man. I love that. He's just being raped.

What? This is what I was expecting. Yeah. I'd better not be really getting raped. You can call me data. Shut up. Your name's Claire. Very logical.

Yeah. What was I going to say? I just, I just, I woke up. I had that birthday party on Friday night. Yeah. Tell us about your birthday party. It sounded fun. No, it was my friend ruined it.

Yeah. It must have been cool to have all your friends that you love. No. I was bummed one because Stav couldn't be there. And you, you know, had to leave early. And then my worst friends showed up and then just started hitting my girlfriend and using my dog. Nice.

And yeah, we had to ask him to leave. It was, it was really depressing. Anyway, but next day I woke up really hungover. And then we watched this, I guess it's the newest episode of Law and Order SVU, but it was a dramatic turn for Mr. Will Sasso from Matt TV. Yes. I love what they do that.

Yeah. They just have comedians be in this shit. I saw one where Jim Gaffigan like killed his wife or something. Really? Yeah. There was two comedians in that one. Jim Gaffigan and some, I can't remember who else. It was really fucking weird.

I was pretty stoned and it seemed like Will Sasso was playing for comedy. Yeah. He was like doing the dramatic parts a little too dramatic. And it seemed like maybe he was just not taking it completely seriously, but it was a wild app. What about Will Sasso? How about this?

Will Fatso. Will Fatso, yeah. Has anyone thought of that? Probably you. Probably you. Stop has a list of fat bald guys on his enemies. Why do I have that? That's not what I'm like at all.

You're like, I'm going to knock them all out. I'm not competing with the same, for the same rules. Yes you are. You wish you had the cake and you're competing with Will Sasso. The cake is right here. You could not have it. I have plenty of cake. Your hands are too fat to grip the cake.

If anything, my hands have adapted to be specifically for cake and cake related things. They're too robust. That's right. I have robusto ass hands. My hands are fucking formulated for snacking, my friend. Yeah. Damn, I want wings now.

You should have like a tube that protrudes from your mouth to suck up crumbs. I don't really want like an anteater. That would be cool. My nose should turn into a fucking trunk for crumbs. And for eating puss. Yeah, you get that long ass tongue. So we're supposed to believe evolution is real. Yeah, look at me.

472 pounds. Why come I don't have a trunk to suck up peanuts? Is that clear? I would never be able to climb a tree in my life. I don't eat bananas or any type of fruit. I eat nothing but candy and Cinnabon. I don't believe personally that I identify more with the elephant. Big old pussy lip ears.

Oh, yeah. You just want to fuck those sexy ass ears. They're the coolest animals, man. The girl elephants eat each other's pussy. You know what I think the coolest animal are? Women. That's right, ladies. I respect you.

Thank you, Nick. And consider you animals. That's fucked up that people criticize us for, you know, making problematic jokes, misogyny. People don't criticize us for that. I don't think they really do either. They criticize us for ironic racism. Is that it?

I don't know. Who cares? I still get accused of being a stressorite all the time. Oh, a stressorite, yeah. A stress what? He's like racist, but he believes in universal health care. It means racist, but chill. Like a chill racist.

Like he still blazes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically just, that guy's between us and libertarians is a stressor guy, right? Yeah, I guess. Elephants are also cool because they jack off by slamming their dicks against their stomachs really hard. Hell, yes. It's really cool.

Really? Like they just whip their cocks up? If you look on YouTube, it's pretty cool. I have to get out of the shower. That's how I dry off. Really? You just slam them. I used to love doing that when I was like a teenager, just whipping my junk back and

forth in a funny way. Who doesn't like fucking do the old helicopter, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no hands. You use your hips to just smack it between your ass and your stomach. Sometimes it would hit my nuts though. Yeah, you do that. You let your nuts fly around.

I don't like my nuts. Make that awful noise. I do that. I wear basketball shorts and then smack my nuts on my ass. That is a horrible noise. It's like a fucking... It's a good way to intimidate people. I like an ape.

Yeah, I like going side to side. Just having to hit your thigh. Front, back, side to side. That's beautiful. That's a good way to attract women. You pull your dick out. You pull your cock out. You start slapping it around.

Oh yeah. These are Brooklyn dating tips. This is how you date. That's how I get married. You're in the coolest entity in America. Definitely come over here. Definitely take a look at this. Do you see this?

Definitely whip my dick around. The nice thing about being on circumcised is that if I whip my dick around, there's a nice breeze. My dick will just inflate like a balloon. You should have those chairs. You know those chairs? Gay Jack Nicholson. It's Jack Nicholson who fucks a retard, guys.

Oh yeah. What would he be like? Ray, why don't you come over here and add up all these inches with your ass? Definitely. Technically that still is a type of Gay Jack Nicholson. Oh, by the way, I forgot to add, the part I like is the part where you're mentally retarded.

He's gay for a reason. If you could do me a favor and struggle to get halfway through the alphabet, then he just peaches from me. Definitely can do that. Definitely can do that. Don't know past K. Don't know past K.

Don't know past K. Definitely can't do one of K. A, B, C, D. Oh yeah, brother. There's no... That's what we call a refillable Jack Nicholson type of... Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, that's a plug and play.

Like your ass. That's what we call your ass also. Plug and play. Plug and play. I wouldn't mind plugging and playing down there at the Home for Disabled Adults. You know what I mean? They don't have any locks on the outsides of the doors

because they can't figure out the knobs and there's no reason for them. You just waltz right in and take your pick of the litter. They're a bunch of unsupervised people. That's how it used to be, dude, back in the 60s. They just put them in a room and they'd be like,

alright, shit yourselves. Figure it out. Go ahead and play with your shit. All you need is a fence, really. Now we know the answer is to just put them in minimum wage positions where you don't actually have to pay them any money and then you put one or two in the commercials

and that's more humane. So use them for slave labor. Well, my groceries aren't going to be poorly bagged themselves, you know what I'm saying? What other industries? I feel like I see a lot of mentally challenged grossers. Like baggers. How about president of the United States?

Oh, shit. Shit, dude. Oh, crap. Now we're really going to get in trouble. Finally, let's get into it, guys. Now we're really going to get in trouble, dude. Oh, and how about fucking... Yeah, how about downsold Trump?

Has anyone called him that yet? Hashtag resist. It's fucking sick. Oh, yeah, what about fucking... Ellen DeGeneres releases her nude slur for Donald downsold Trump. Yeah, because he's fucking retard, huh? Great. Dernold Trump.

Yeah. What about... Oh, since we're in the politics corner, our boy, our favorite politician... Mark Zuckerberg. Speaker of the house... Paul Ryan. Paul Ryan.

He's retiring. Because my man with the stash, pussy eating iron stash got him scared, dude. Is that why? I don't know, but... I thought he's just retiring. He doesn't want to get blamed for... Who cares? Anyway...

It would be great if Trump does like all night long knives on the FBI. We just like murders 100 people. That would not be chill, man. It would be cool if that happened to the FBI. Yeah, that's true. That is true. It is so funny that Democrats are like, how dare they talk shit about the FBI?

Yeah, they're like pro FBI. They tried to get MLK to kill themselves. Yeah, they tried to entrap like pedophiles. They inspect female bodies. That's true. Now I'm going to piss. Alright. Yeah.

Oh, fuck. Dude, whoa, watch it, man. Whoa, my turn. Oof, my turn. So, politics corner. Let's go. Now it's just smart boys. Mark Zuckerberg spoke before Congress yesterday.

Talk to him, Adam. What did you feel about it? How do I feel about it? Yeah, speak. I feel like it's anti-Semitism, gone mad. Yeah, that's right. Go off, queen. All types of discrimination are illegal now,

especially post me to, except for one, anti-Semitism, is the last technically legal, written into the law. Where the fuck are the Winklewass twins? Yeah, the Winklewass twins, exactly, who are clearly their grandparents didn't do anything wrong between the years 1931 and 1945. They were the perfect blonde twins. Just on a rowboat together, suck each other off.

Killing gypsies. Did you see someone, Dennis Miller, did you see that Dennis Miller tweet? I did not, but salute to Dennis Miller. Dennis Miller tweeted, he said, the Winklewass twins haven't been this happy since they went on a double date with the Barbie twins. Got them.

Which were, I think, I believe they were like two girls that were twins with fake tits in like 1993. They were kind of famous. Oh, were those real? I thought he was just talking about the doll Barbie. No, I think that they were like kind of like porny looking. Nice. They were famous for about six months in the early 90s.

Do you ever have a phase where you beat off to like real fake looking bitches? Of course. That's the first kind of girl that you think is hot. Yeah, but still. Yeah, like Janet Jameson and Pam Anderson. They're in life. Did you ever return? Oh, like return? Like for old schools?

Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah. Don't pass that now, but I did. Nick, what about you? About what? Did you ever beat off to like big fake plastic titty looking Barbie doll bitches?

I tried dragging after Stormy Daniels a couple of weeks ago. Out of a civic pride. Yeah. Out of civic duty. I'm sure her number's on Pornhub. Oh, Skyrocket. For sure. Because I did the same thing.

Stormy Daniels. That can't be her real name. Yeah. That's gotta be. No, just like Tom Cruise. That's her real name, man. More I think about, because you said that last. I feel like we didn't put enough time in on Donald Trump.

You want to hit that for a couple of minutes? Yeah, let's go. Let's play that. Let's just tap that key. Okay, let's see here. Yeah, yeah. Huge. Family big way.

Big way. Big way. We're going to walk her up. All right. We're just going to be, well, let me figure out a voice. Because when I tell you, everyone's going to love it. It works. It's going to be, oh, it's going to be beautiful.

Nick's doing a great, the impression. The mannerism of the Trump with a retarded voice. He's got a little, yeah. It's going to be beautiful. That's better. Yeah. There you go. We're getting there.

It's very close. Yeah, okay. It's very close. Let me tell you. It's going to be the best type of combination between two impressions that anyone's ever done. What about, what are the Mexicans? What are they bringing over?

A Hispanic retarded Donald Trump? No, no, no. He's asking you. Oh, I thought you were asking me to get Baroque's help. No, no, no, no, no. Be a fucking artist. That would be wild. Que tipo de...

No, no. Too much. Too far. Yeah. We're Icarus right now, dude. Yeah, I know. We flew too close to the motherfucking sun, dude. To the orange face.

The big Cheeto in the sky. Cheeto. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Here we go. We got to get these goddamn Mexicans out of the country

bringing their city candy in here. That's what I was thinking. Is the worst fucking candy I've ever had in my entire life. That's what I tried to say. No, that's all right. The bad candy. The chicolet. I like it.

The beans, they make you go, you fought? That's pretty funny. Yeah, well, given that, this is a funny thing to happen. You know. Yeah, that's cool. We're going to build that wall. Wego by Wego. Tell us about how girls treat you when you're famous.

What's that like? Oh, you can do anything. You can do whatever you want. Grab them by the pussy all the way up here. Grab them by the pussy and then he's grabbing the tits. Shit in their pussies. Donald. What?

Did they let them shit in your pussy? I guess. I don't know. I don't even want to be doing this. I didn't mean it when I said we didn't spend enough time on it. I think it's good that we let it run. That's really going to take him down. Yeah, he's come town calls him a retard.

That buddy would be if he does, he's like he hears it somehow and then he kills himself and then all the everybody has to apologize to me. The one. It's like the scene at the end of Star Wars where they're giving us like sashes. He walks their day. Yeah, those hell bent girls have to like, you know, burn all their broadcasting equipment because they call them a literal fuck shit. But they can't say retarded.

You're not on Twitter anymore, but someone did like a list. All right, here's a list of non problematic insults and it was all it was like shit baby. Yeah, it was horrible. Yeah, it's so embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny because of all that like piss baby and shit baby literal human garbage. It all became like tried immediately and it's like just being used by people that are dorks. Yeah, nine years later.

Yeah, right. I mean, it's like on par with like ass clown, you know, like going around saying that shit. The ass clown, I feel like the office space was homophobic kind of thing. Yeah, like you get real funny in your ass. It's a real circus. One of the Greek words for gay guy, like the rice is be so glendy, which means but pirate. No, which means behind party. Behind party from behind party in his ass.

Yeah, which is actually pretty beautiful. In Greece, the only guys who are allowed to have a lot of gay guys or just a straight guy gets fucked in the ass once. Business upfront party in the back. They would also be like an assless business suit. That's right. You imagine that. That would be awesome.

Just a fucking Armani power seat turned around. See the cheeks. It's just a mesh. This is the commercial for that. The guy in the office. His card and walking away. You should put that in like an SNL package. But this is the front party in the back.

We do things a little different around here. Oh, yeah, we're a fun office. Cowboy boots, power suit, assless asshole. Just fucking feel that breeze. A top hat. A top hat with a glory hole in it. So you just squat in between your two friends. And one of them sixes cocked through the hat.

And the other guy sucks it off. So the hole is in the top of that top hat. Yeah, something like that. We'll figure out. I've been podcasting 25 years. I don't have time to do every single fucking bit. We'll get AutoCAD up. We'll draw some prototypes.

He's gonna hurt your appointment at rock. He's gonna suck you off appointment at rock. He's got this Apollo guy. He's got HIV. You getting the ring with him? It's a death sentence. But as long as he doesn't mix blood with me. No, it's in his sweat too, rock.

I'm telling you. Don't use the toilet. The quiz, rock. I don't know how you even know about this, Mick. It's 1977. I got a bad feeling, rock. I got a bad feeling about these fairies, rock. I'm in one of them bias clubs, rock.

Look at me. I'm 34 years old. Salute to that guy. He's got a great name and he fucked a lot. We discussed him already. He got that information. Apparently he fucked a lot. That's all you know about Burgess Mary.

You have access to that information. I bet you if you look it up, just like the Morgan Freeman thing, it's true. Yeah. The first time I met Burgess Mary, I fucking totally fucked a lot. This guy fucks. This man has a lot of sex.

Fuck, dude. He's kind of slowing me down. I've been slow all day. I can't have caffeine anymore. I've been drinking fucking hibiscus tea. Is that caffeine for you? It's like flowers. How does that feel?

I'm becoming so pissed right now. Drink a cup of hot flour. Drink a cup of hot. P-I-S-E. Hey, Nick. Oh, yeah. I wish he did. Sickie, sickie now.

You got him, dude. My boyfriend didn't give me anything. What about this song? My penis. I just fucked a man with my penis. Like Maria. That's just my girl. You know?

That's pretty good. Yeah, but you know. I like that one. It's been a good song in a while, I don't feel. From us? No, that's not true. We did an achy-breaking heart. Oh, yeah.

My sucky fucking dick. I have a higher standard, I think. Oh, shut the fuck up. No, I'm serious. There's only one or two a year that really get me. I thought the sucky fucking dick or whatever we said was really good. I thought Stov's

Werewolves in London was really good. What happened to Dunkaroos? Dunkaroos? They're out there. They're not there. Where the fuck are Dunkaroos? They still are. You're just in the fucking gym drinking fucking flowers and shit. You're not in the Dunkaroos universe. I'm very much in there.

The Dunkaroos universe. That's Kevin Smith's production company. The Dunkaroos universe. What should my company be called, guys? View Dunkaroos. Baby Enterprises. It's so funny that Kevin Smith had a huge heart attack. Yeah, he almost died.

Was it from Pony? Yeah, yeah, like the last two weeks. His fucking heart like just almost completely blew up. Well, he's like, is it funny? I mean, that makes so much sense. Well, he lost weight. He looks better. I mean, he looks like somebody lost weight with his fat. That's true, Stov. It's dangerous to lose the weight.

Stov's promise. You used to be like 100 pounds bigger and you kind of like synched up. Yeah, you were like 340, right? I was close to 100 pounds fatter than this. 340? Yeah, probably my absolute highest. Yes.

I sort of remember that. I was looking for some old picture through Facebook and I was just scrolling. It was horrific stuff. I was wearing all my dress pants with just sweatpants with those fake fat guy. They all have elastic waistbands.

It's khakis. Oh, man. I was wearing some of the same shirts I wear now but just packed to the brim, dude. Yeah. It was horrible. Yeah, it was funny how fat you were. My friend Brendan used to laugh at you.

Yeah, you had a waddle. We were all hanging out and you were walking back to your car and Brendan was driving me somewhere and he pointed and he was like, holy shit. Yeah, fuck Brendan. He was bald and fucking ugly. Fuck that piece of shit.

Yeah, but you were waddling. My nuts. You were also bald. No, I'm not. I got plenty of hair. I could grow it out any fucking day now, pal. Yeah. It would look good. Well, we've reached the end of our allotted time. The time allotment, yeah. So I'll leave you guys with this.

Remember that show Seven Days on UPN? No. What was that about? It was about a time machine that could only go back in time seven days. Oh, was that? Yes. Yeah. It was like John LaPaglia. It was one of his, it was LaPolly

or others or whatever the fuck played him. That was late in the UPN game. Yeah, I tried going back to find that show because I remember enjoying it, that and Sentinel and I couldn't find either of them. But that'll have to be how this went on. What's the next show? Oh, and so thanks everyone

who come to Funny Moms. We're going to start doing 8 o'clock. We're actually starting at 8, not doors at 8. We'll probably get, I guess, I guess say doors at 7.30. I think people have jobs and stuff and it's better for the show to end at 10. So the 23rd,

so far we've booked Mateo Lane and Tim Dillon. We say people are going to come and then our friends cancel on us, sorry, but it'll be a good show no matter what. People cancel a lot, it happens all the time. But we think they're coming and I don't know, do you have anything else going on?

I hate to cancel. That's like a Chinese person. 23rd 23rd 23rd. All right, 23rd. Okay, all right, bye.