The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. P05 – Matty Healy

Episode Date: February 10, 2023

Our good friend Matty Healy joins us. ALSO OMAHA FUNNY BONE MARCH 10 & 11 COME ON OUT

okay hello welcome to the Adam Freeland show the podcast yeah we're live we are okay my in here you're in yes special guest our friend Maddie Healy from the 1975 back in New York back in the New York groove yo yo yo yo yo welcome thanks for coming thanks for having me yeah of course I'm too loud is that work am I quiet or am I am I good in my cans you're a little out but maybe can you turn my hands a little bit down yours yes no no no no no no no no no no no no no Nick turn it down please how big is your dick is your name we can't talk about me yeah I was singing it but like okay if someone if someone offered like what we

were talking about before but if someone offered you like it's going to be dog shit but like you play you're in a very campy biopic like why wouldn't you say yes yeah it was just like it was like if no one's gonna think any less we're slightly different for me because I I'm I make music so sometimes right all the offers that I've had to be in films is like hey do you want to be do you want to play a guy that people like more than you historically I'm like we're making a movie about the Chuck E. Cheese band the bird would you be in the Chuck E. Cheese biopic would you fuck the bird so we've heard a juicy rumor that you're

fucking maddie healy spotted you do more yeah he's pulling he's pulling the Chuck E. Cheese bird you got just feathers all over your mouth yeah he's been a he's from eating the the cloaca yeah one hole is a cloaca on a bird it's like a pussy ass pussy yeah they have like a one hole yeah so they do the eggs in the and they get yeah I think they do eggs they get fucked they shit and they paste in that one hole Jesus which is a more efficient you guys really do songs any more used to used to sing songs all the time Nick yeah we do yeah I mean I don't know depends if there's a what was it wait did we do it on the show that

your red hot chili peppers what was very good are you asking me yeah I have no idea I mean this I don't even know what I'm saying was it oh fuck whatever you don't have done you never had then Daniel beddingfield in this country did you who is that Daniel betting he's Natasha beddingfield's brother and he had like a big song I was like is there any way that I can stay and you're around it goes like really high no we do like you know so anyway that I can suck your dick and you've got to get that was a big thing for you I think like the UK fans might appreciate yeah we'll do a little artists chat I guess like

the where's the elf bar I saw a video I saw a video of the elf bar factory in China real quick so that the I guess the thinking behind the the come-town song period is is never you want you don't want to just take a song and do a good job you want to do a badge I don't want to do a job the further you can get the adverb from the target of yeah of sexual fixation the better oh so like when you did you famously did like him sucking on the midnight train the penis yeah that's really good I like more it doesn't make sense the better it works with it because doing gay song parodies it's like that's stupid but some of them work really

well like suck on my dick come fucking lick on my balls I want to get lost in your asshole yeah that's just good as an encyclopedia yeah yeah only of the songs bit just listen to my own songs I think that one it was give me the dick boy yeah free my soul I want to get lost in your asshole yeah is okay but yeah I mean even then that's too you know it's too the the the target of the joke is writing the game yeah so don't so like don't don't don't don't don't don't don't you're like I am gay bump bump bump yeah yeah that my favorite of all of them is tequila so it's 14 minute instrumental and then just might be nice

warrior yeah that's pretty good no I liked them do you believe in life after sex I can feel something inside my ass I really don't think it's big enough that's pretty good but that was come town and this is the Adam Friedrich yeah this is this is something completely different and way more high brown yeah well Dylan has gone electric you know okay and a lot of people in the folk music scene are losing their minds they're like what is this damn what are these chords out of this guitar you know yeah man you gotta do it you barely have you ever seen the documentary where he's at the Newport folk

festival Bob Dylan yeah yeah and then he he plays an electric guitar and then what's his name that guy he's the folk guy Seeger yeah not Bob Seeger no obviously Pete Seeger Pete Seeger what's Bob Seeger Pete Seeger who's like one of the biggest like kind of pussy yeah Bob Seeger's turn the page turn the page which that night moves but turn the page is a hilarious song but dude people are so fucking dumb like you see like when you watch that proper Bob Dylan documentary and he like like he said like plays an electric guitar and afterwards people will be like he's fucking disgusting this land

he's a disgrace yeah when his lads being like it's fucking disgrace I came here for a folk show not a fucking pop scene yeah he's like in Yorkshire it's like it's fucking awful turn turn the page is great because there's a line in there you know it's about being on the road you know you're on the road all the time and he goes yeah we know all about that brother hell yeah he goes into some country bar and there's a line in there it's like people look at him it's like is that a woman or a man and then I mean you know what Bob Seeger looks like who is like what a beautiful woman it's got to be a real shit place yeah right

as a gorgeous guy is that what he thinks of himself he sat down and wrote that song he's like everyone knows how Bob Seeger's intro kind of what kind of bodied this movie is Bob Seeger happy he's like looking in the mirror he's like I'm a fucking girl everyone thinks I'm a fucking girl we're in the everyone's got body just like we just talking about how pinks getting can't you see that Adam pinks getting cancelled for looking like a lesbian for her career and now that's being regarded as queer baiting so like 18 year olds being like this she's done irreparably why they let why they let Harry Styles do that why do they let him

he gets a pass I don't know he's like basically has the n-word pass from the gay community yeah I don't I actually don't think the gays really like it I think it's like young girls that think it's a new thing that are like oh my god you know and then gay man don't have a problem with somebody pretending to be gay they just jack off dude yeah it's only lesbians would be like you're not actually a lesbian yeah exactly any gay guys just find out yeah any gay man that sees a straight man prancing around in like skimpy clothes being like who wants to fuck my ass or like me yeah yeah come over here and let me even it's even

better that I know that you're straight yeah maybe maybe it's not all gay guys but a lot of them it's all it's all gay guys we speak on behalf all right yeah I'm a bit of a Lorax oh yeah so Pete Seeger is at the festival and this guy is just having a fucking meltdown and apparently he was he went to the like control booth and he was trying to like cut the he was he was trying to cut the actual cord I think he was like I don't know if he had an axe or something but he was just like losing his absolute is his complete mind and he goes into a car and he's like he's like screaming he's like Bob Dylan's like it's so

dramatic it's so insane it's so insane and that's how they act but we try to do a beautiful talk show for that I don't understand like how people got away with that shit cuz like you know like people have like quotes if you're in like a guy in the 60s you can be like quoted yeah Bob Dylan sat there and like what was the famous stories that looking out the window and he was like takes one to no one yeah he had his guitar and took it your long drag of a cigarette two in the pink two in the pink Chinese I said that shit if I sat out and looked out the window when I said to him yeah I'm imagining it

right I'm laughing no yeah he said so said no one ever he was the first one Adam's girlfriend got angry at him the other night when I was with him because he wasn't fucking she's always which is so cool she got mad and I'm mad and then she texts me she was like I was horny I thought I was my vibrator I was like that is so fucking badass that is she was lying dude she was lying she wasn't horny she was being manipulative she was the Jepeta she was the Jepeta she was the puller of the strings no she no she she said she was horny but she didn't want to say on the phone because I was with people girls make you horny man I

mean girls make me horny they make me horny like when you when you came to mind that story's got to be out there you want to say it I mean I do it's the best story ever we we I was in London after I was coming back from South Africa I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad you you you approved okay okay so we're in we're I had a 24-hour layover in London on the way back from seeing my grandma in South Africa and I hit up I hit up Matty and he's like well I got tour in my UK tour starts tomorrow so I can't like go out but like I'm chilling at the crib and my girlfriend saw a couple of her friends and so we like

met up with these five girls all hot like yeah they're hot cool they're hot and you that was all you that was a pimp night yeah but this is what I was like I was like I came to your house I was like I feel like a pimp I was like you look like a pimp yeah small pimp but you look like a pimp I was a I was a small a guy's pimps are small yeah that's what I mean cat Williams yeah cat Williams yeah I mean a tall is a lot it was my cat Williams I feel like they only exist in fucking in cartoons yeah yeah like the really lanky pit or in the sopranos the guy was kind of like a pimp rapper guy who you know the rapper

more who's the who signs the bad record deal or whatever he's like skinny long yeah but you like meet him and then he's like I actually went to horror for business oh yeah yeah whatever I forgot what it was anyway so yeah no you so it came up with my chicks yeah well a couple hot chicks and my sister who's hot as well shout out she's made me yeah and I fucking I don't know what I mean if we could be brothers anyway so yeah we and also we're like we went we went to the pub before we went to yours and then fellows were gassing me up they were geeing me up where they were like ooh it's like look at him he's the Riz master

and I was like that's right dude I'm a I'm a fucking I'm a pussy getting legend and so yeah so we go to Matty's and which is very very nice hang very like sitting in a living room watch YouTube listen to song hang yeah it was very it was very like considered and nice it wasn't very sweet not very we didn't get Larry no very sweet what is Larry what is it Larry yeah it's like unwieldy I like kind of a bit a bit crazy but it's like if you're about to fight a guy it's like oh yeah I'm trying to get Larry mate yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a stupid English word so yeah so then the girls are the girls are they're

like their song is a Michael Jackson librarian girl that's like in their group of girlfriends that's their their turn up anthem that's right it's okay how women have things I know yeah it's it's really annoying it's like the worst and we are like four women moving with each other and they've never met they met on Craigslist one week they have like a fucking like choreography I love yeah yeah I'm a fucking refrigerator they have a group chat that's like they're all doing the periods at the same time I think it's the moon yeah yeah yeah no it is them what do you mean think it's a it is nothing else it's the tides and the

moons and their pussies that's so funny that they get fucked up by the moon I know meanwhile we went there for the fellas Neil or I'm trying for the bullies he should have taken a shit on the moon they were shooting on the lunar lander for sure I mean they have to shit because it's like what's the gravity on moon is it like a little bit less you really got to push no it's way push and then it would like it wouldn't go they play golf like yeah it would like it would bounce back it would bounce back up like one of those games your ass yeah everybody's like ah buzzers gay

remember when he punched that guy in the face that was so sick it was the sickest thing I've ever seen but the guy got one thing he was like you didn't like not but he like hit him straight away he was I'm not hearing any fucking shit he rocked I wish I wish Osama could live long enough to do that to somebody what just turn around somebody like yeah 9-11 didn't happen one bombs and yeah that's fucking back the jacket that's why I love Glasgow though because like Scotland is legit like a cool place with sick people I don't know if you guys have done shows there but those is infamous story where like this G had

his set himself on fire he got Larry yeah you got Larry what would it be in Scotland I don't know what they would say but like a Muslim absolutely daffy they don't speak English there you fucking mean do you know I mean so I just came over any fucking set himself on fire and basically what happened was that a luggage handler had seen this jihadist who had set himself on fire and was driving into the airport and ran over to him and knocked him out gave an interview in broad Scotch be like I have seen this fucking daffy came over on fire there's some shit so I just fucking put one on him absolutely

amazing like Scotland is crazy yeah Shane told me he's like it's not English they actually have like a Wikipedia that's in Scotch yeah you can go it's like a patois I didn't even know Scotch I knew obviously Gaelic and like work because I live quite close to Wales and literally there's Scottish Gaelic but Scotch is its own language that's just fucking like retard English yeah well it's like welcome to the Wikipedia spell everything just spelled wrong it's just a literate welcome to the wikipedia scots wikipedia scots wikipedia scots language version of wikipedia oh this is the wikipedia page for us just like

medieval speak no here we go this is it is this the people who like me up and like dress up as like the reed road was a who's in scheme into Belornock and Balmer shut the fuck up bigot in the mid late 1960s the reed road was bigot with steel and asbestos sax tours was happy with no but there's no person that can't read English that can read that who's that for it's for Scottish people have you ever like people like phonetic it's like fucking hooked on fucks you ever seen like a Scottish Twitter when like people yeah when people talk in Scottish is pretty fun they're hello yeah they're really really yeah Shane was

telling me he's like dude in the fucking Scotland and like the north like because he did a full UK tour he's like it's just everyone's me yeah yeah it's so true I fucking love it's a land of Shane Gillis is yeah yeah oh so anyway so I was like oh we should watch the video for Liberian girl mm-hmm because which is a masterpiece first of all you have to make that video yeah so the video is that it's like every celebrity of that day at a film set and they're like where's Michael like Michael hasn't shown up and like Michael asked all these Steven Spielbergs they're Dan Ackroyd's they're like all these like many people

as well like like Danny Glover yeah really specific to the time and Michael yeah and they don't play the song because of the song like half volume like Woody Harrelson and Danny Glover being like well it's Michael they're like he called you too and they're like and so everyone's waiting for Michael they're playing the song at like half volume and then at the end Michael comes down on a crane and he has the camera and he's like all right everybody it's a rap and you realize Michael's been directing yeah whole time yeah so it's like very high concept and Maddie you want to do a video where it's all like

the most shit British celebrities yeah like waiting for you they're like we're gonna make it with like Love Island contestants and like they'll be a man you gotta do it you gotta make it and directed by Nick and me yeah it'll be so good that's two British like tiktok ladies are like addicted to Botox and they're like the porn star ones yeah yeah they're called like the cock destroyers and they just look like they're terrifying they're just like I just love to suck and fuck you I'm good one of the one of them follows me on Instagram I DM'd ice spice did you this couple of

shit like I try not to like DM because it's like it's not a good move right you want to be like cool so you want to send a telegram yeah like a raven or like you fly over their house and hot air balloon your penis to yeah well something like that especially not just like a Julian class Casablanca's ask DM so I that DM is the best of you have you ever read that I don't know if we've read it on the show but Max get that man a fucking fedora yeah Julian let's read it out we have to read that is the very reference of the door get him a fucking a bag of candy in a van yeah I mean it's beyond it's beyond widow it with a willy kind of

levels of hello fellow human traveler yeah you know it you must know it yeah yeah okay I mean I bet you know you said how your brains like memorized he DMs this girl he says howdy I G showed me pictures of you even though I try to focus on art and human like animals and people fighting what the fuck are human like I don't know monkeys yeah he does fucking know what he's talking about human like animals so I thought I say we're just watching so I thought I'd say as respectful platonic hello psychic pal parentheses maybe and then new line the end and then and then a salute emoji and it says returning to self-imposed

solitude that guy I when I was a when I was the coolest guy in the world when I was 15 I was like that is the that is the coolest kind of guy you could be when you become a guy that just wants to get pussy though it's just so sad like when you go from a guy who like gets pussy and then you get used to it and then it dries up and you like continue to try and find it yeah it's so not a good vibe but anyway no I spice you know who that is Nick doesn't know she's like one of the spice girl yes that's right she's like this rapper she's a rapper that has spice in you it's spice just this chubby Chinese lady they don't talk with a

Chinese accent like a more Hawaiian style welcome to Hawaii yeah that's what I spice is like she's a very attractive woman that released one song and basically sliding your DMs you're like so what are you a fucking Eskimo yeah yeah that's what I was like you fucking anyways return to the Nick's school of fucking dating girls which is like a meek you my favorite Nick story where Nick's in a fucking coffee shop or whatever and this girl like drops her lid or something in front of Nick and she like goes to get it it's like a meet-cute she looks up and it's like was this like is this okay it's like this

cute perfect opportunity for you to be charming you're like I mean nothing matters I'm gonna fucking kill myself it's like I was like I was like who gives a shit there you go I was like same thing that you kind of looks inside I was like who gives a fucking shit about anything I didn't think about until after the fact yeah I know you didn't wait what did you say to ice spice before we get back to the well it's just like the epic conclusion I was thinking about how I went into that same exact train station a week prior maybe as a month prior and somebody had just killed themselves in front of the train and then

they took hours the train was shut down for hours so they could clean it up and then I went in after they cleaned it up and there's fucking like basically kitty litter where the body no yes this giant city does human on trails and just put yeah just fucking like down the track like dust off your hand good to go just some department of sanitation guy like yeah we cleaned up a fucking body down a little pick up some kitty litter cuz some fucking moron fucking was too sad Jesus a woman shot herself on the train next to me once it was like so fucking she's like oh excuse me sorry that sounds like a meat here raising in

her seat yeah literally just floating above it now she was really traumatized she's wearing like a white dress and she'd obviously like got food poisoning quite clearly she had like explosive diarrhea yeah and then you guys went and bought diapers together yeah you're like that you know there's something there's something maybe after you take a shower we can hang out again no but what I was saying what was I saying about spice I spice yeah I lost my cool with that one dojicat sent her a DM once when I was like drunk was I like you she likes like Sam Hyde and stuff oh really yeah like dojicat used to like go into like

4chan and get like racially abused and shit like she stole my chainmail look she stole that yeah yeah I didn't actually I saw that on you before her she stole it that really worked with the beard though and you had the foot that was so that was kind of bad how come we don't hear about this kind of cultural appropriation yeah right yeah that's true no apparently she's people got mad she's to show her titties to 4chan to racist yeah that was like a thing she's like goat racist I think she's kind of like what's the word like based she's like very internet yeah she's one of those but I spice no reply dojicat no

reply apparently Drake flew out I spice and then flew her back and unfollowed her that's so sick it's so sick Drake is fucking hilarious so the guys like 38 years old or something like and he's kind of just running around just like you know that's all right yeah yeah no I know but he's still posting smoking hook that's what I mean we don't do that oh yeah yeah it's pretty cool what fly out do I don't have that opportunity no it's not the flying out thing it's the heart the whole kind of like holding on to being like 21 years old as an aesthetic I don't know how you I continue doing yeah same I got I got

PlayStation 5 which has been playing bio shock again oh they like redo it didn't redo it it's just it's the old game from 20 years ago it's a great game though it's not based on my iron Rand or something it is yeah that's quite cool that's what got Nick into reading well iron Rand or bio shock iron Rand really Adam's make a joke but Adam's the one that actually doesn't read no I'm reading right now dude what are you reading all the Kingsman you're listening to it on audiobook that's a reading that's reading and when you move your car twice a week to not get tickets you listen to 30 seconds it cuts off halfway through a

word and he's like I'm reading I've read seven hours anyway what's all the Kingsman it's about it's basically Robert we had more yeah yeah it's about this southern politician like this populist politician Adam's book no it's good American though is it you have to be American to the American no I think it's yeah it's the it's it's told from the perspective of this guy who's a he's a journalist and he would start working for him and then it's got a real it's got a real slick style to it yeah the language itself is makes it worth reading yeah yeah anyway so so we're like oh we should play that music video

and then all the all those all those birds they start dancing right in my house they're doing sexy dancing and I was like wow this is this is erotic this is erotic and then so then we're like oh we got to go Maddie's got tour tomorrow which I like waiting for the uber like outside and then the girl all live my as my as friends I coincidentally she played the my assistant in the episode where I was a of the Adam Freeland show where I was trying to find where I thought Nick died with the cold open yeah yeah she played she played my NYU intern that girl anyway so so she's like oh my my heavens oh goodness she was

like I forgot my water bottle in there so so she went back in and Maddie like on his phone and then on his like 77 inch OLED just got ghetto gaggers blaring 30 seconds after the hang just just going hardcore pornographic story the only part that bothered me was airplane well that's what you text me immediately being like I just need the info on this story like why on earth like the why how psychopathic do you have to be to like airplay porn to your like TV I remember when porn on the phone became a thing and everybody's like oh this is weird and it's like no that's what I always wanted to be I want to jam be

hunched over yeah yeah phone jammed in my face yeah you know jacking off on my own face edging for like two days crumpled up well you've been doing porn on the Apple watch yeah no way yeah yeah no that would be so sick yeah wow just like images this is how James Bond yeah it'd be a great that'd be a great it's just fucking just just a yoga class filled with fat black women and then one guy just on his phone one guy jacking off and people are like are you jacking off to us and they're pleasantly surprised yeah he's like no there's there's women of size my watch Apple watch and they say yeah you're

fired from Apple you're fine coming up with that idea well I was there it wasn't just that it was the combination of the fact that it was but you're not exaggerating it was 30 seconds but you guys were still waiting outside she came back in I was already flustered like with I had I was like dressed as guy who is jacking off so I'd like untucked shirt like you said I think it literally was like ghetto gaggers was on the TV it's just somebody's getting like brutalized and it wasn't like some cool sceney New York art girl who was like oh I'm sorry doesn't matter but it was little olive yeah I'm so sorry yeah she like

I'm so it's fine it's okay well I mean ten minutes would have been fine but 30 seconds was like yeah that was kind of almost I was worried that she that was like I think when you're a guy living alone the order of operations is before you go to sleep you just have to jack well it was a part you asked me you're like jackoff go to sleep you said to me I look I got a story I lived with a guy and fucking I had to work in the morning at like 6 a.m. hold on I had to work in the morning at 6 a.m. so I went to sleep at like fucking I don't know nine and he had brought this girl over like on a day he's a big fat guy and he brought a girl

over in a date and then you know they watched the movie made dinner and I guess he struck out she didn't want to hook up but she was too like drunk to go home so she just slept on the couch and so he'd like a girl like passive aggressively went into his room and started blasting fucking porn I'm like trying to go to sleep at 3 a.m. yeah just machine gun fucking pussy yeah yeah fuck yeah anyways today's episode of the Adam Friedland show is brought to you by my bookie and we're here for the Super Bowl so my bookie back with a couple ad reads this year so I'm with the Super Bowl this is the big one you ask for it

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props bet every one of Super Bowl what are prop bets yeah what's a prop prop bet is like the first guy to catch a pass oh right okay the first like the team that wins the coin flip at the beginning so you can bet on like all that shit like the first the first one to get myocarditis and die on the field yeah yeah from from climate change yeah from does anyone in American football ever done like a crisp and what what do you mean oh yeah what do you mean what do I mean literally yeah there was a really that thing called when you hit your head and they get a disease cte cte

there's a really sad story of this guy on the Kansas City chiefs who killed his girlfriend and child I think your mom's calling right now yeah oh my god you love my mom I love is she mom or mom mom mom she's mom she shouted Nick and I out in the newspaper new castle newspaper she was like I started a podcast because of come down my son showed me come town and I met them at Madison Square Garden she loves it she's your mom's cool you got a good mom yeah I got really nice I'm really close to my mom she's insane but she's she's on the she's on the the view of England yeah she like the view swimming and she

was kind of like a big like not like a COVID denier but she was very like awesome yeah it was awesome it was fucking cool good she was so like fuck you to everybody Jordi she's a Jordi I'm technically how do you know all these what do you what the fuck I know it's hot with like your mom's Jordi tell us some more matter your mom Jordi Larry no she's from she gets Larry she's a Jordi hey she's from Newcastle that's right that's what we call them Jordi's yeah but I'm from Tyneside bro yeah she is that's I'm an anglophone why does he know so much I don't know why does he know so much about mom

she's not an anglophone you want to fuck his mom I'm an anglophone I'm an anglophone for that yeah I consider myself more of a curvo file yeah I don't like it I don't like it when a bitch got too many angles I like that's right I like a pointy ass bitch I'm an anglophone five hundred pounds I can't get enough what was that guy what was it the guy it was a black guy who was saying that black guys don't like long backs on a woman who is the guy famously was like the black mean we don't fuck with long was it Thomas Jefferson yeah it was his his mulatto child no but that makes sense right like

a long back is like it can either be quite like attractive or kind of a bit like where's the I think a long back as the ass a flat ass right yeah because you know ass needs to start like halfway up your back to have a true I like it right under the shoulder yeah like show I like neck and then ass which you can see on a lot of football players yeah they're bowl this weekend that you can bet on it my bookie my bookie if you want a sports book that gives you the most free money bet on the big game is my bookie pregame live line sport super well props bet everything from the opening coin toss the length of the

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companies they can't like my bookie they can't advertise on fucking like good morning America right so we get all that sick yeah that's cool but Ridge wallet that they advertise on their home I know about Ridge why they're big well they they blew up quick they're that guy like really nailed it their business model yeah but yeah I don't know why they do this they all do this to say additional promo details and then not to be read or posted for audience like then just don't put that in the copy because I'm gonna read it by accident yeah exactly the website may give you cancer this is something we're looking at yeah yeah

just oh so yeah I was I was gonna say there's this guy Joe Vaughn Belcher who played for the Kansas City Chiefs and he lived with his like infant child and girlfriend and because of they say because of CTE he I think it was personally or it could have been all of the belching it could have been his belching could have been he killed his girlfriend reflux killed his girlfriend then drove to the stadium walked into the coach's office and then shot himself in the head in front of them wow yeah that's not there's is there a Netflix documentary about that guy or is there another guy who like got done Aaron

Hernandez Aaron Hernandez gay the gay there's a movie concussion it's all about the Nigerian doctor that discovered CTE like really only it was like 20 like fucking 11 or something yeah yeah it was relatively recent I mean it's kind of a funny discovery like that should have just already been like an assumption right like yeah you're gonna yeah go crazy if you're job it's like when people are like talking about Tyson Fury like saying crazy shit it's like well guy who gets punched in head for a job says something crazy I love a headline oh he's my hero I love he's like he went to school with the band we went to school

together really yeah he was in the same class he was enormous he's enormous he was enormous and is genuinely called Tyson and he's like a really sweet guy the nicest guy but he was literally like bread jibsy king title yeah when he was like six he was like ghost boxing and yeah in the playground and stuff like he's like he was gonna be a champion I love when he talks about how he's like he's like you could call me fat like you could like he's like yeah I'm fat I'm white like I'm like a piece of shit I'm a gypsy I'm the best but I'm like you know you couldn't like I have the biggest heart in the entire world it's

so sweet his brother was also famously on the program Love Island yeah but he's like getting even more famous because he's gonna fight Jake Paul yeah oh he's doing like everybody boxing no he's a legit box it's so funny that fucking like cuz YouTube kind of ruined stand yeah I remember when the YouTube guy started showing up a club I remember I went to Caroline's this is almost like ten years ago and fucking I'm just hanging out you know in a long day and I always want to go to Caroline's show I don't know who is there and the fucking showroom opens and like this ten-year-old boy with no expression on his face

just comes like just out in a line on a fucking razor scooter he had his like scooter in there yeah what the fuck is this and then I look in the showroom and it's a bunch of just ten-year-old boys and there's a 47-year-old ten-year-old boy on stage and he's like remember nobody can tell you what and he's like doing like motivational speaking for Caroline's yeah Caroline's and he was just some fucking like YouTube guy that's popular with like little boys and I'm like okay I guess is what comedy is but you never would have thought that YouTube guys would take over boxing yeah I know right we're fucking heavyweight

boxing well I mean it sells tickets I think he's pretty legit I think Jake I think Jake Paul's really good I think you're a multi-millionaire and you dedicate every waking hour of your life to something you can get like pretty good they could kick my ass probably yeah but they're not like the best boxers in the world no no no no of course not but but it'll be interesting to see if I legit it is cool that those guys their their careers were like about crashing Lamborghinis that's how they like got famous and then they were like completely like they were supposed to be done because he did that bit where he

was like I'm in Japan in the suicide forest yeah oh my god a dead body before the dead body thing though he did a bit where he was like going around Japan just doing racism yeah yeah and like no one cared about that no no no well Japan has a common or racist well you think that juice some that juice and racism because of what happened you know what we all know what happened in Korea and China yeah what do you mean sorry me well cuz oh you're talking about no I'm just saying that you know what happened the whole the whole basically the whole do you think any Japanese guys were working at the camps like they're

part of like a foreign exchange program I do really want to hear your impression oh we have on we have on Sen set up for you taking his shoes off Japanese restaurant one time when I walked by one of the waiters I was looking for the bathroom and he's like right in front of the bathroom and I walk past him and he just like jumps back and goes yes please dude you ever done a show in Japan it's so fucking crazy yeah we did show so did you yeah well music shows they am they go crazy when you finish and then they go silent mm-hmm so it's this that you don't know if you're bombing but they're

just being really really respectful yeah I find it really really interesting as a culture because that's we're all like the cool like the heaviest metal comes out of Japan or like the craziest sex stuff comes out of Japan but it's also like suppressed like when you're out there it's very like very it's like a childish ness to it like you know they'll be working on like the water yeah and instead of like a sign that says yeah don't drive here it'll be like a cartoon water drop being like yeah yeah really cute well they are depressed that's why they kill themselves because Japan kind of like fell off they were like white

hot in the 1980s their economy was on fire they were like the kings of like consumer electronics and cars yeah and then their economy fell off and now the people they're most racist towards the Koreans right like have just become like bigger than Japan ever could be yeah their cultural exports and their their economy mm-hmm you know well there's a weird thing we have songs like the number two phone company in the world is it yeah Samsung you said they used to make like fucking like toasters yeah yeah yeah yeah well Jeff maybe it has that same thing as well what we were talking about the irony of like Britain is that

like we used to go around and like rape fuck everyone and own everything and now we're just some gay no one gives a fuck at least everybody speaks English yeah nobody speak in Japanese except the worst people in any culture yeah but I fuck with Japan we I've got Japanese talk coming up oh yeah I've never done that I've only like done like Tokyo I've not been to like Yokohama I love I love that dude I had such a good I I've been when did you guys go we went yeah we want to stop and and Dasha and then we and then I went back right before COVID right the day Kobe died I was there which that must have upset a lot of

Japanese people what Kobe dying they Kobe died and they don't know which Kobe it is uncle is dead you know he was named after Kobe beef that's you know it's probably it's because of his name is why he was so bad at driving the helicopter oh he wasn't driving he wasn't driving or maybe he crashed it on purpose that's another thing to do yeah dude I was it I was a comma comma Kobe I was in Pittsburgh yes I was in Pittsburgh back on the radio and like you know like when I got on stage I was like yeah I've been like seeing all the sights I was like went to the Rothesburger bathroom you know it's

also because he's Japanese is also why he's it was a rapist it's never proven he's also not Japanese is a joke it's a joke I don't know his name is actually Japanese what Kobe is he named after Kobe beef yeah because it's good no because his dad was playing in Japan when I think his mom got pregnant he's like man this is good as shit I'm gonna name my son McDonald yeah yeah maybe my son sushi Kobe Bryant and my mom are your hot topic you're like kind of fan topics that you know the most about them you're like a Kobe guy right Kobe and Bob Dylan and Woody Allen you met Woody Allen right his face

look at your little face and he was like what was it like meeting Maddie he was like dude I mean in Pittsburgh the fucking like the staff at the club were like you know just like fucking kind of you know Western PA like like just whatever bros and then like one of them like a bunch of them were coming up to me they're like yeah like what was it like to be Maddie he was it like to meet yeah yeah I was like damn I didn't know I don't know you're like that famous I've gotten really famous recently but it's made me way more reluctant to be I'm a bit like okay well of course it's gonna demand that I'm famous I'm gonna

make you really work for it I mean I'm not really a bad boy it's not that it's just I've always been like a heel you know I can wrestling is you know like the face and heel kind of thing and yeah this is an anti-wrestling podcast oh is it yeah yeah well I'm ready to get into wrestling as an adult yeah I hate that it's really bad well I tell you what it's my heroes mankind that kind of thing it's better than the comic book era there's like two years there we're fucking community comedy actually I like comic books it's like no you don't know when I knew growing we're all the same age yeah no one I knew growing up read

comic book until the OC and they wanted to be like Seth Cohen or something like that or not even then I literally don't know a single fucking person that read comic books it's like a thing from the fucking like 70s 70s yeah yeah and then somehow yeah when I was fucking 25 every comedian was like well I'm really into comic book there's this comic in DC that told I was like I hate that with him before a show and he like you know he's like pitching me on a new joke and I was like I was like I don't know dude and he's like well you don't fucking know you know he like he was like this is fucking gold and he goes up on stage and he's

like um so so the Hulk says you wouldn't like to see me when I'm angry who would you like to see when they're angry okay and it just bombs yeah and I was like I told you bro I told you that was bad I was working on something like that recently because I don't want with the equinox and they do like this free fitness assessment what they tell you tell me who's gonna expire right so I was like all right ball go do the thing and I get in there they're like we're gonna take your resting heart rate and your blood pressure and I'm like I'm out I'll see you know because I just don't want to know I can't check yeah

and then but you know like I don't worry about your Google and they keep everybody always says how hard like high blood pressure is the silent killer right and it's like well that seems better we want a loud killer yeah you want fucking cancer to just scream dying I think that's a little bit better than the Hulk joke every time you the way you deliver the would you like to see but you do you doing that made me laugh yeah that's how that guy talks I got a silent killer all the way silent heart attack is the way to go it's classic mm-hmm James Gandolfini had the best death in the world he's in fucking

Sicily big meal five-star hotel big meal he's wearing a robo Rolex yeah getting his dick sucked by his son is fucking hard you can't ask for anything better than that is a way to go out right rather than fighting something yeah fuck that you have to make an Instagram for your cancer yeah you have a separate once all just black and white filter photos of you fighting no thanks pal yeah you're wearing a t-shirt that says fuck cancer on it no I want to have I want to have just one too many slices of pizza on vacation yeah and then just your heart just full I'm talking about wow it's a great vacation and someone's

like Nick why is one of your eyelids closed yeah that's it yeah that's the way I think you're kind of like a heart attack guy I could see that for you oh for sure yeah I'll be dead in 20 years well I don't know about that but when you go you're not gonna like you're not you're not gonna cling on for a start like you'll get like you I think explode which is this word that you have in you I think that is how you'll die in some way something will explode out burst out burst from like the ass or the chest or the brain maybe Nick will be on stage and I'll tell the perfect job that would be great didn't Tommy Cooper die like that and they thought it was a

bit like he had a heart attack and he literally went over and they were like the kid literally killed like people were going wild and then the curtain closed there's a there's a you know sling blade mm-hmm I can't remember it so then you know the fat guy in sling blade that's not Joe Don Baker he's part of the band he's part of the white yoke and oh yeah I'm getting the bad guy that tells that weird story that weird like spiritual yeah I know you're talking about that guy I think it was him or somebody he played in a band with I can't remember died on state like just like they're like fucking like like

zydeco band or whatever my god they're playing and he just fucking like had a heart attack and slumped over one of the monitors but there's so many people in the band doing weird like Cajun bullshit they couldn't tell like 10 15 minutes just they couldn't tell the washboard guy it was dead he's just dead and then the fucking then they just had to like drag yeah fuck I don't know about dying that that sucks you're a good shape though you're alright I mean good shape now I mean good shape since recently but like I would say you're a musician you guys can just do drugs forever I was in I was

in fucking we can in Charlotte and Paul Hooper and Carlos Valencia were there yeah I haven't seen Paul Hooper in a while so we're just talking about like he's a recovery guy no yeah we're just talking about comics you know and it's like there's all these people that are just fucking dead yeah it's stuck in that middle rung yeah like 50 grand a year and they just on the road all the time and it's like oh yeah dying in a comedy condo which is like you know somebody's usually just somebody's like on department yeah and then they leave for the week whereas rock stars can get like blood boys and we can like get late we

just can like highly maintain our lifestyle that's the thing it's when you like well because it's social yeah on the road with a band so you're having a good time yeah the comedians just alone there's nothing that's the thing that's what sucks about they do but order room service and do fucking probably fentanyl and watch it you guys it must be more fun when you guys go on like tour to get not necessarily one million percent when you got to with someone touring the podcast was so much more fun yeah yeah yeah because I couldn't I wouldn't tour because my band is all like very come by our like we're very fortunate in the

way we just happen to love each other and we really get on you know and you're like childhood friends yeah we don't have any animosity we just don't so it's like it's really lucky with that but the truth of it is that asking me to go on tour with one person I didn't like let alone like by myself I go well I do for went to Japan like next week by myself like to we don't fucking kill myself like yeah I hate touring outside of like hanging with my boys no I tell you that Canada tour was brutal the shows were like they were fine yeah like you know like we didn't really make much money at all and then Canada sucks but

yeah doing like win a peg and shit like that yeah we did Edmund but yeah dude just hanging out that day I had a Montreal with Stover he went up the mountain and got the rowboat hilarious yeah yeah one of my life was my life was in a different place in Montreal you don't really hang when we're on tour you go you bring your girlfriend and go do girlfriends oh I yeah but it was the end of a relationship bringing my girlfriend it was just spinning out of control yeah that sucks but it was like whatever I mean I liked Montreal a lot yeah but what was I gonna say oh no but Vancouver is like a psychotic weird place

but I kind of enjoyed that too like when we went to the dim zone place and you were sitting next to that Chinese guy on Stoff's lap and I have that picture that was like super fun you you learn Chinese didn't you for sure I mean I took classes he was on social media I wouldn't say I learned Chinese because I sometimes think oh that would be cool to like learn a bit of a language so I could like get through on stage or like try and do well I wanted to go because we were gonna go back to Australia and then it's like oh I want to do like a long you know yeah it's like I'm making money now I should try traveling's fun

you know I'd never really like you know done it yeah so yeah I wanted it but when we were in Japan they don't speak English so I was like I don't want to run into that again yeah so yeah so what you guys went to Japan as come town no I know we went just like to adjust to the time yeah Adam looked at Adam was okay cool yeah I was gonna say that you don't have like a Japanese following it right no no the shows we did we're all like expat oh cool American comedians cool cuz Australia you guys must kill yeah they love like Cheeky Tom dude I mean the comedy over there was fucking insane cuz it's all expats but there's only like

20 people doing comedy in Tokyo right or like English of course yeah so they're seen is like I mean it's almost like being around like feral children that tried to like come up with their own table manners right you know like it's just this bizarre yeah like watching like yeah just like they have the structure of jokes but then it's all like yeah they good you know how you know how Shibuya is it's bizarre so what it's like in America it's like Americans Americans and English people but it's all about living in Japan well like Cat Williams does that Jacksonville bit that you were talking about yeah I

managed to do like local I was doing that about like Haku Sakamitsuke I mean I watched them and it's like I don't like I mean they're doing well but it's like I can't I don't know what the fuck you're talking about it's like do you like because like if you want to have a career out of this you have to like think about like okay well someday I'm not gonna be performing in Shibuya you know even write a joke about fucking going to lunch crazy yeah it's just I think it's just to find friends probably yeah friends that all look at their phones and don't talk to each other but those kind of friends it's nice but I like

being on the road because I get to like be with my friends and you've seen my show like it's such a big thing now that it's not like it doesn't it's kind of like the same thing I do the same thing every day really yeah so it's pretty comfortable yeah no the shows the shows like very impressive just Nick and I really liked it yeah I saw so many girls crying I did it so say see I was watching they cry for a minute tension Adam was staring at children yeah I'd stare at girls though we were just talking about Adam was just Nick was just lying about well not lying but Nick was just saying that I was saying in the

gym I can't help but look at perfect bodies of men and women you've got perfect little gay yeah but perfect little ass what's that norm base I I fucking hate it when I'm in the gym and then there's some guy with his dick out and I'm a head behind the like bin trying to look at like it's perfect little dick I'm trying to just be invisible when I'm in the gym I keep my head down I don't like yeah I hate commercial gyms yeah I don't really go to one but when I go to one I'm like it's like FAO Schwartz I'm like what is this is a wonderland of different bodies I get in that headspace and then I

think my body now I tell you the only time I stare at women is when I'm in Philadelphia at the the Reading Terminal and I think prolonged eye contact with the Amish girls yeah yeah yeah I went to that place in Philly two weeks ago did you do the eye contact the place you took me to and I did the eye contact if I wasn't it's amazing they don't they don't look away yeah you can just you can just because they read it is they misread it or like they know because they're so isolated it's like being at a zoo yeah it's like they like they go into Philly to like to work at this you know at like this diner or something right in the

Reading Terminal yeah so it's just like they're like the outside world you got no idea what I got my pocket an iPhone one of them one of them was pretty hot I gotta say yeah the Amish girls there's like a trend on tiktok of like Amish kids you like leave and then go and live in like a cosmopolitan spring yeah they still like churn their own butter and shit like that well they have a year where they leave and they decide whether or not they want to be Amish though you see you see Kingpin yeah yeah have you seen Kingpin the movie about bowling yeah when I was a kid it's the best it's a fucking great it's still good yeah it's

amazing I couldn't I couldn't remember I wouldn't be able to remember yeah Randy Quaid plays an Amish guy okay fucking Woody Harrelson is like he was like a star bowler that's right Woody Harrelson yeah but he lost his hand right he got like because what's his name Ernie what's the character's name Ernie Bill Murray plays him but he's like Bill Murray's like the kind of like this slick cool older bowler the tricks Woody Harrelson because he sees he's on the come up oh yes they're going to play in some private games for money yeah and then the guys realize that Woody Harrelson's got like a PBA ring on and he like hustled

them so they stick his hand in the bowl return machine he loses his hand fuck so then the movie starts and the present day starts and Woody Harrelson is like now just living in like an efficiency apartment licking the pussy of this like disgusting landlord to cover rent and then and then he discovers fucking Randy he's at a bowling alley you can like hear him like just hitting strikes he's just bowling 300s or whatever and he's like you gotta like let me manage you yeah you know you're gonna be like a bowler so he has to go like in Gracia if he has to pretend to be his like Amish cousin right okay to convince

the Amish community to let him take him on the road oh that's great yeah the Amish things always been really weird I've never because we have like gypsy culture and stuff like that but the Amish thing I've always so what I mean who goes back at what's it called rum springing yeah they do like meth and stuff they go crazy a lot of them go back a lot of them 99% of them I think they they all go too hard and they're like fuck it's too scary we got to go back yeah yeah there's like their documentaries about it where they're just like you know like smoke like huffing computer duster and like we're

just going in for everything yeah yeah I suppose that's what I would have been like though if you'd like just told me that you know just kept me in that environment as soon as I got to like I don't know a nightclub you ever see that movie boy a when Andrew Garfield's first movie it was about like there was a really famous killing in the UK of like this kid called Jamie Pulger by like these two 11-year-olds basically took this like three-year-old from a shopping center and went like fucked him up on a train track so it's like huge moral outrage this isn't a funny bit I don't even know I'm talking about it but

and they there's a great movie about the concept like these kids went to jail when they were like 11 and then they came out when they're like 23 24 with a new identity and there's this like scene where this kid who was like went to jail as a killer is now out and he goes and like does MDMA in a nightclub for the first time and not only is he experiencing drugs for the first time he's experiencing like being part of a society without like being a villain and shit that is really really interesting it's a cool movie I've said this before in the podcast but my friend Jamel who's our friend from starting

stand-up he was telling me that his friend went to jail and he just got out and he was um he didn't understand the rules of like like the social like rules concerning social media and so he was just like at 11 a.m. on a Wednesday like posting porn on Facebook just hardcore pornography like because he's like been he hasn't been part of society yeah yeah if you if you remove those steps like how do you supposed to understand what like a comment section is I dated a girl my grandpa would do that before he died he would just do Facebook posts be like huge tits yeah I dated a girl that she was like on

Facebook one time she just like turns the computer emissions like this is the retarded kid from my high school and its name is it's like David like Feldstiener or whatever and it says liked a page called celebrity boobs yeah I was in Pittsburgh this weekend and we got picked up in the Uber with this lady named Trish and she was like yeah we have a lot of bars and not clubs and she was like trying to be a Pittsburgh tour guide and literally within three minutes she was like and I do not care that George Floyd is dead it was like the most insane ride she was like they tore this city apart those

fucking people she was like there's a lady having a steak and the protesters took the state but just imagining like BLM protesters just like yeah I just fucked this just like taking taking a lady taking a broccoli well you have to you have a flight you have to go guys so yeah it's five o'clock three I gotta leave guys new episode of the Adam Freeland show talk show up on patreon we have Ariel pink up oh shit people really seem to be loving it I watched it with Mac last night and he was like he was like he was like legitimately he was like I've never seen him this happy yeah he was like even before he got canceled he

was still like fucking pissed yeah and apparently it's he was like shocked that he was like having a nice time yeah but I mean it's it looks hella good in here thanks bro looks amazing well we'll have you we'll have you come back on the talk yeah I'll come to you I'm coming I've got like some more shows out here in them at the end of the at the end of the year so where comes it we got live streaming set up so we could just you know we could just play Minecraft yeah that sounds pretty hop on to what also is good I'm gonna go I've got like I'm gonna help you're pretty good to us I've got like we got four or five days when

I get back where I'm kind of gonna be ghetto gagging and just like sat on that sofa so like what are you playing anything that's good just by shock they said and then I won't do I'll probably never turn that did you do red dead 2 yeah I did thing is we read dead 2 as I tried it twice across two different consoles and I had to do that snow bit for like that's right at the beginning yeah I know but I had to because I I have like two play the playstations all over the place okay so I need to get past that bit yeah but then then I'm hoping to kind of just sit on that in my pants and just yeah I mean I slide into mania I truly don't want to

be playing video games I don't I don't sometimes I have to like make myself because otherwise I'll sit there and like you know you're like you just go fucking crazy well I tell you what no I'm like I'm in like fully into that caro lbj series now that's that's the what the Robert caro's Lyndon Johnson oh cool yeah yeah I mean a lot of Ken Burns the stuff yeah I put Civil War back on yeah it's a good somewhat recently that's a good one Colby Shelby foot is so funny he's such a good funny guy because he's just an interview with no audience and he's still somehow bombing there's a there's a

joke there's a bird and a tree that's out all saying who don't mind me so I'm just on my way home it's like it doesn't make any fucking sense yeah yeah alright that guy's a loser all right have a good flight brother see you guys later you later right