The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. P10 – Hurry Up With My Damn Croissants

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

Nick will be at BREA IMPROV in Brea, CA Mar 23 — Mar 25 Adam will be at GOODNIGHTS POP-UP CLUB in Raleigh, NC Mar 23 — Mar 25

Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland Show, the podcast I'm joined by Nick today, a very special episode. Sorry, I'm just... Which camera is on? Three. No, two. But this one doesn't light up? Um...

So I have to sit here and... No, it does. There it goes. And then this one does too. All right. You all do? Well then, something needs to be fixed. Something needs to be fixed.

That one's on now. It needs to be fixed. All right, you want to play a game? Switched camera, then the first one to point was... Like Saw. No. No. Wait.

No. Who wants to play a game? No. Wait, now they're both on. Why are these both on? You want to play a fucking game? Uh, guys, is everything switching okay back there? Yeah.

All right. Well, we're going to have to figure out why those tally lights don't work. In fact, we might even scrap the entire camera system and pick up some of those studio cameras. What do you mean? They make these, but for... Like for doing what we're doing. I think they came out after we already bought these. What does studio mean?

Uh, they've got... I think it's the same camera. They just got like a bigger fucking 7-inch monitor and then they got big tally lights on them that light up. So instead of just this guy, there'd be like a number, you know, like a fucking, like a big red number. We need that. Yeah.

Did you shit yourself? No. Why? There's just smell. I didn't shit myself. Okay. All right. I'm just...

Um, we got a big show today. I was in Omaha all weekend. That was a fucking blur. The whole thing was a blur. And I'll be at Brea, I think that's in Southern California somewhere. The Tar Pits. No, that's La Brea. Where the fuck is Brea?

Where are they sending us? I don't know, Orange County. But I'll be there. If you're at the Irvine shows, come out. I guarantee you there's at least 10 minutes it's different that I've swapped out that hour. 10 to 15 minutes. All right.

It's different. I don't think I'm talking about the Oscars anymore. Thank God. What do you mean? It was just the Oscars. Yeah. I don't know. I'm still doing stuff about the Winter Olympics.

Oh. That was like three years ago. Yeah. But hey, you know what they say, time flies when you're having fun. Yeah. It also just flies all the fucking time. Your life just sort of... It really does.

The only time time doesn't fly is if you're in Auschwitz or in like a PO... Oh my God. Imagine how slow it went. And if you're in like a POW camp. I can't imagine how slow it went. Yeah. You're getting your shoulders ripped out by Vietnamese prison guard. That's the only time...

And you're like, this is taking forever. Yeah. Yeah. But I... The 24... Hold on. I didn't even get my plug in yet. Sorry.

23rd through the 25th, I'll be in Brea. Please come out. Whoever your favorite comedian is, they'll be there too. Yes. Yeah. And I will be in Raleigh, North Carolina, the 23rd, 24th, 25th with Caleb Pitts, native son of North Carolina. You're doing the new Charlie Goodnights.

The... I think so. Yeah, the pop. Was it 330 capacity when you were there? I did the old Charlie Goodnights. I haven't been in the new one. Yes. I think it's called the pop-up or something.

Maybe they're waiting for the new one. Oh, they haven't. They're waiting on insurance or something. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. A liquor license. Anyway, ticket sales are really good. They're looking really good for that one.

So, Rudd, don't walk to your tickets. Is it? Is that true? No. Oh. All right. No. So, you're looking for that on the 6th through the 8th?

The ticket sales are really starting to hurt. When I first went out on the road, sell out immediately. Yeah. And then I remember it started where it's like, okay, maybe they'd sell out like day off. Yeah. That's where I'm at. Now it's just bad.

That's bad. And I thought I would get more than a year, you know, because everybody, that happens to everybody. Yeah. Everybody who loses becomes a has-been. Yeah. But I'll tell you what, I will be literally homeless before I'm one of these fucking guys that's like, taking a guarantee and doing shows with 75 people and like a 400 and I'm

not doing it. I'm not going to be, I'm not going to be 50 years old. I will literally, I will live on the train and fucking just beat off and do fentanyl. Yeah. You can't take that, refuse to do it. I would rather have the dignity of being a nude, homeless drug addict than be a paper in your ass crack kind of guy. I wouldn't be a 50 year old man talking about the 2016 Winter Olympics to guys that can't

let a podcast go. Yeah. So that guy lost his penis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you know. Back in 2016.

You know. Yeah. You know exactly. I know your man. Yeah. You know exactly how that, hey man, I got to write more. But the thing is, you can't, do you write stand up? You don't fucking.

No. No. No. You get drunk and then something happens. And you're like, oh that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's like, it's honestly, it's not even on me. I'm not a lazy writer. The world has been lazy about doing things. It's true. That's, what was that? What was the Harambe year? The world was. That was 2016.

The world was doing their job. 2016. Dude. Everyone was. Harambe. In the writers room. Subway Jarrett. Fucking Papa John saying the N word on a conference call.

Fucking, what else happened then? It was amazing. It was a really beautiful time. And Trump was new. Oh my God. He wasn't even president yet. He was saying, Jeb, you're a low energy. Yeah.

Please clap. I mean, even, you don't even have to get into the political. Please clap, it's great. It was just fun stories. That baby got eaten by an alligator. I remember that. Yeah. It was because of white privilege.

Because of, yeah. That white ass baby said, I'm going to come gentrify the swamp. Yeah, yeah. And guess what? Alligator too spicy for Yo-A. Yeah. Yeah. That's, don't come around my hood.

That baby couldn't handle getting its teeth cleaned by a, what are the little birds that live in an alligator's mouth? They have those? Yeah. You know, like there's alligators that just open their mouth and there's like a type of bird that just brushes their teeth for them. That's so sweet. Yeah.

Because you hear terrible things about alligators, but you don't hear that they're like friends with those little birds. Yeah. The birds like eat bugs out of their gums. Why can't we have that? I think that's what women are. I guess. Hopefully I don't get in trouble for that.

Damn it. If we had a fucking other controversy, I don't know if we could take it. Yeah. Other big story this week, March 12th was detransition awareness day. Yeah. And now I'm aware. Yeah. I didn't realize I can go back and forth and back and forth again.

I know I've mentioned it a couple of times, but this detransition thing is fascinating to me. Why? Because, well, because they're people that, for whatever reason, transition. Yeah. And now are, and I don't have any opinion. And now they've... Gone back.

They're gone back to their birth gender. Assigned at birth. Yeah. Gender assigned at birth. Whatever the fuck you call it. That's the biggest problem I have is there's too many new words. Mm-hmm. I'm not even done learning the old words yet.

And they got all this... Anyways. I don't even know what those... Yeah. But the detrans people are just immediately accepted with open and manipulative arms into like... The right wing. The right wing.

The right wing is like, they hate these trans people unless one of them's like, double trans. Because the way I see it, you're double trans. Yeah. Yeah. You're twice as trans. If you already got all the surgery. Yeah.

You're twice as trans as everyone else. Yeah. Exactly. You're even more trans. If you got tits and then had them taken out and got pecs again. Yeah. You're the fucking transest person I've ever heard. Yeah.

Right. No. Literally. Yeah. If you got your birth tits removed and then you got fake... You got new fake tits. Yeah. What are you doing?

Fake tits. I just wanted to dapple. Oh, all right. Sorry. I don't know. Yeah. But they're just like open, like welcomed into... Into these...

Onto... They got a show on Tucker. Dude, they got a right wing circle. A spot on Fox Nation. Well, it's just a testament to how like now none of... Nothing... None of this is based in... There's no ideas behind any of it.

Behind the culture war stuff. Yeah. It's like tomorrow could be like fucking like we were this close, we were literally this close to having the different M&M's be in different camps politically. Just the fictional M&M's characters. We almost lived in a world where if you liked the yellow and red M&M, you were a Republican. And if you liked the green and brown M&M's, those were the liberal M&M's. We almost had that.

Yeah. The blue, right in the middle. Right. Exactly. Yeah. We were this fucking close. Sitting on the fence. And it would have just happened organically.

Yeah. But Mars got scared and they pulled all of them. I don't know. I don't... Yeah. I wish we could go back to 2016. Yeah. When you were living in an SRO in Chinatown, we were just starting off the stand podcast.

We were going to Stavros's work, stealing with cereal. Yeah. That ridiculous company. Yeah. That fake company. Yeah. He should get that job back. I'm kind of hoping that, I don't know, something happens.

I don't know. Like maybe he does like a big arena show and he stands on the stage and the whole thing going. It's like when Bane blows, because he walks out and he's like, he just fucking, he comes out into the arena and it fizzers through. He has to go back to the child porn sexy? Well, he has to go back there, but then our shit falls apart too. Yeah.

Out of sympathy. Yeah. Right. Sympathy collapsed. Well, something happens. I mean, we finally have the controversy and all controversy. Yeah. And we all have to, we have to get the band and get back together.

Yeah. We're getting $4,000 of guarantees for 70 people. Yeah. Right. But we go back to child porn XI or child porn extreme. We find Thomas. Internet. Yeah.

Yeah. And we all go back to that company and the free cereal and, you know. You think that's still a company? I have no idea. I hope they've been bought by the Chinese. I hope they're actively. I think it was already Chinese. I think it was some German, yeah, like multinational, it was like fucking CPZ and GMBH.

It's one of those companies that's all just. Just arbitrary letters. Yeah. Yeah. But. That was a fun place to go. Yeah. I like the lady at the front reception every time you'd walk in and say, do you have a

reason to be here and you just blow her off. No, it wasn't every time. It was one time when I was eating a bunch of cereal. She was like, do you work here? I was like, no. I'm barely not homeless. Yeah. Yeah.

But by not working here, I'm better than you. Exactly. Because you're a slave to wage. Well, I wouldn't call black person a slave of any sort. That could be the controversy. Yeah. Do you remember during the Jeremy Lynn Sanity thing? What do you mean, they would go on.

Usually you say something like that. They kept coming up with puns. You don't say, remember during the financial crisis? No, they kept coming up with puns. Then what? Then they were like, it's Lynn Sanity, or a lintony of puns, and then they lost their first game and then the ESPN ran with Chink in the Armour. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. And that was the news for the day. It's wild that Chink in the Armour has lasted so long. Is there a relationship between, oh no, because it's just an abbreviation of Chinese. Yes. Well, no, Chink is like, that was a word, yeah, it's like a whole. Like a dent.

Yeah. That's why people used to say, it's like, I'm trying to go out and get some Chink tonight. Get some holes. So it was just a reference for all women. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Chink means whole, which means women. That might be the controversy.

Why? What we're doing right now. It does. Let's look it up. What is Chink mean? No, Nick. Sorry. Well, let's see.

The non-racist, Siri, what is the non-racist definition of Chink? Well, I want to know, because I only know that the Armour, we have like a serious guest this week on the talk show. Army Express. Think about him being in the room right now, watching you do this. Who? Our guest this week. Oh, right.

Short round. No, not short round. Who? The man from another movie from that era, who was on our show. Think about him sitting in my chair while you're asking Siri what that slur means. What would he care? Yeah. I'm not asking what the fucking slur means.

I mean, the idiomatic expression, the Chink and the Armour. It's just an abbreviation of Chinese. No, but it's not. Not what the expression means. It's not a Chinese guy wearing Armour. No, but that's where the slurry comes from. Oh, from Chink and the Armour is like a hole where an arrow can go through something. I'll look it up.

You keep saying stuff because we got to do a podcast. Oh, yeah. I forgot that this is also audio. Now I'm just playing to camera. That's all right. That's fine. We want more people. Yes.

The idiom, Chink in one's Armour refers to an area of vulnerability as traditionally referred to a weak spot in a figurative suit of Armour. The standard meaning is similar to that of Achilles' heel. Is it 17 in Chink? Yeah. Right. It's based on the definition of Chink, meaning a crack or gap dating back to around 1400. So if it was 1425, you'd say, hey, what's up, fellow, what's up, what do you say we

go out tonight and... They didn't talk like that. Yeah, they did. No, they didn't. S's used to be F's back then. What do you fade? And they said, let's go out and pick up some Frange Chink. I'm trying to have Fex.

I'm trying to get Frange. I'm going to get Frange. The Frange Chink tonight before I'm due back at the field. Yeah. I'm trying to get some Floppy Toppy. Yeah. Floppy Toppy. That's what you would do before your head's sewn off by the church.

You'd get some Floppy Toppy. Yeah. I think so. I mean, one can only imagine. I would guess, yeah, yeah. So what's the deal with this banking collapse? I don't know. I don't really give a fuck.

Let's... I want to stay on the detransition awareness day. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about that. I mean, I'm trying to...I'm still trying to...and I know I brought this up weeks ago, but I got back into it yesterday because I saw this detransition awareness day. I'm still trying to figure out who the big ones are. And it's like, it's got to be Caitlyn Jenner.

She went back to Bruce? Well, she's got to. Yeah. Because she remember she became the right wing one? So then she'll go Bruce and then go and then they'll post her man. I was saying she should go Bruce Almighty. Yeah. Because she's God.

Transitioning to God. And she's black. I'm a black God now. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. No, but Bruce wasn't God. Morgan Freeman was God. Right.

That's what I mean. Yeah. But she should transition to Bruce Almighty. Bruce just had the powers of God. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It is that Caitlyn Jenner should transition to Bruce Almighty. Not the character from the movie, but the movie itself.

I know what you're saying. And say I'm a black God. I'm a black God. Yeah. I'm going to hurry up with my damn massage. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. I'll hurry up with my damn massage. Is that a croissant? I think massage. Are you hurry up with my damn croissant? No. I think he says massage. It's croissant.

Oh, I thought he said massage. No, he says something. He's like I'm about to get a massage hurry up with my damn croissant. I am a god My damn croissant Where the hell is my damn massage? Yes That's what black God does you guys like God because the star because the Starbucks and equinox. Yeah. Yeah, yeah He just goes shopping. Yeah, that's what black God is doing in black heaven. Yeah. Yeah, you're shopping Mm-hmm. That's a coffee. He's not a particularly good time. It doesn't sell. No, he's still getting sub par service

No one respects my god not they're not bringing him his croissant Oh, I don't think I ever mentioned it on the show I did I was in uh, I think it was when I went to San Jose Actually, I was in the fucking hotel and there was some fat guy In See in San Jose bitching at the concierge. He's like I am a Hilton Diamonds member. Yeah, and he's like I'm like I got to hear all of this Yeah, so I kind of just make my way over just to listen to this man complain and he's like oh the croissants were hideous He's a very hideous hated the way they looked

Didn't taste bad. He's like yeah, they weren't sexy croissants They didn't and he's like his fucking fat wife who couldn't even be with this fucking people the law of this shit Just came all the way down his fat wife set him down there to bitch on her behalf about the lack of ascetically pleasing croissants And he was like I want all I wanted was a good fresh croissant But they told me that those are saved for the sandwiches So I had to order us he did like a fucking like five easy pieces a whole hold up between your legs seen To get a fresh croissant

He wanted the ham sandwich cram croissant sandwich But with nothing on it so that his wife could have one of the good-looking croissants, but it's still cut in half Yeah, she couldn't even tear it and you look over at this guy And he's like he's just you know, there's like all older guys that are just fat So they're always in basketball shorts and then yeah Slides you're in slides in basketball shorts. Yeah that kind of guy Yeah, and his leg his ankle his calves are just you know, it's one solid. It's just the fucking tube the front of their There's always like a two-inch gap at the back of the slide and then their nasty like toes are like coming out the front of the

Slide. Mm-hmm. It's like those guys can never actually manipulate slides properly. Yeah, well, they just have those like fucking there They're their legs look like Cookie Monster's arm They're just like small and yeah, none of the hot none of the sexy croissants were available for my fucking fat pig wife And I'm a Hilton diamonds member a diamonds member. Yeah, whatever the fuck that means sounds anti-semitic to me I don't like the sound of that at all Dude, what are you member of any? Organizations like that. No, I don't do any of that shit, dude. I don't even I should fly Yeah, I should do it for one airline. I don't yeah, I mean I just I go on Delta then you can they

They put on first class but the first class sucks. So it's not even just a bigger chair. Yeah, it's nice It's not like about a hot towel It's really a bastardization of what first class used to mean because that comes from ocean liners, right? Were you on a completely different section of the boat? Yeah, like you didn't even have to see like they kept the poor people were living with the machines They were basically fucking droids. Yeah, it was like some guy named Seamus and then C3PO and Jack growing the fucking boat Yeah, and Newton's you know, yeah, and then if you were you know, if you were like this diamonds rewards guy You'd be on the top deck talking about your Model T with you know, I guess some

Closeted fucking OSS guy, right, you know, yeah, you'd be having like mimosas and yeah playing blackjack And some fat some fat lady who just her house on fat selling late, of course That's a little later. Yeah, who says she's unsinkable. Yeah, and then you're like, well, I made I made all my money on only fans I was the fattest bitch on only fans and I decided to go for a boat ride to celebrate That is funny because like in those days high society kind of had to Like absorb you just because of how much money. That's the other thing. I saw the right way people posting these pictures These AI women. Yeah, and they just look like it looks like somebody just photoshopped every maximum cover from like 1997 until

2003 into like one woman. Yeah, there was a tweet that went viral a while back of like just four AI women, you know, and then some some I guess it was a right-wing guy. He's like, oh, it's over It's over for these hoes or whatever and then you have like all of these women being like, yeah If you like this, you know, like a real woman, you know like doing that thing and it's like what the fucking the Right-wing guys should be doing is using AI to create just fat nasty women and open Only fan take that start at the bottom mm-hmm find find the women that are making $5 a month on only fans. There's one you sent me and the other day

And we really and put them out of business because that's me. That's mean You really really mean if you want to be a misogynist hunched down. Yes If you want to be all the way down fine, dude, go to just pick them off Just the fucking here's the herd find the slow one at the end. Yeah, and just fucking just wreck their shit Yeah, just some lady that's making like a cumulative $17 a year on only fans and fucking find the way find the way to bleed off That is so sad to imagine them like just doing unspeakable things for no money Yeah, and being like I gotta keep stepping it was to make no money

I mean, it's like it's somebody that's like maybe not traditionally attractive but on top of that It's like they're fucking just doing like flip phone photos on like a kioserra. Yeah, you know, it's like there's they're not putting Any production values, but that right. Yeah, because you can be I mean there are like That's that's the kind of the nice thing about humanity is no matter how fucked up you are. There is a guy who wants to fuck Somebody wants to fuck you somebody is a freak in that one And that and that's always existed. They're kind of beautiful. That is not a product of fucking like that's kind of beautiful That is not because Halo top made Fackerel ice cream. No, it's not those guys always fucking existed. Yeah, right Yeah, you know, it's like maybe it like makes your you feel a little bit better about yourself

That you're in commercials now or somebody is your size is like, you know Advertising a fucking weighted blanket or something on the internet, but that's not the reason people want to fuck you They already did. Yeah for for all all time every type. Yeah, every type of woman. Yeah, yeah That is that's interesting to think about like yeah that that there could be a woman who is Completely shunned and then someone wants to fuck them because they look like that and then they could be like stop objectifying me Yeah, which is really what they wanted. Yeah, they didn't want to get fucked They wanted to claim that they were being objectified just like this just like the conventionally sexy whores Yeah, I mean, I think everybody just wants what they can't have yeah, you know, I think so

Because you get there's no end to it. Yeah, what can't you have? What can't we have at this point? I told you the two biggest things in my life that I want the courage of all A full-size graph Zeppelin that flies over Manhattan. I live in it. It's got a swastika on it No, it doesn't have to have the swastika. It's the it is a Hindenburg It doesn't have to have the swastika. It's got the swastika. It is period correct in the in the like a steampunk Futurism they always had a fucking one of those blimps Yeah, like flying around the city. Anyways, I have one of those and there's no no one people understand Maybe once a year there's a guy that's like why the fuck does that have a swastika on it? And then somebody quickly pulls him aside

And it's like it's accurate and then everybody understands that it's never I never have to explain it I can just quick rope down. Yeah, I need to go to seven everyone needs to do your emotional labor Yes, and understand why you're doing that. Yeah, I live up there. I have a tuxedo Yeah, top hat, you know, you know, and you know, I just look down with my big Golden binoculars. Yeah, either that or I somehow find a way to I own an anchor watt okay, and Filled with monkey assistance. Yeah butlers. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a whole society We have a whole system set up and you're there God

I don't know if I'm their God necessarily more like you're the king like a head of state head of state Yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't run the government, but if you're the head of state you have to keep them happy so you that you Yeah, you are accountable to them. Yeah, well, I just come out in the morning I said another beautiful day in the jungle boys and then the monkeys kind of run society on their own Yeah, yeah, so what's your responsibilities? Nothing. You're just a guy. Yeah, they have orange juice and yeah Hang out a waterfall here and there. Yeah. Yeah drink out of a coconut Yeah, the nice orange juice out of a coconut. Yeah, nice. We could you have human visitors or you wouldn't really need them people would Discover me. Yeah, yeah naturally, and then I would just do interviews

I would just get you know like Barbara Wolfe this would come We come into the jungle and you'd sit down She'd be like a lot of people say that yes a fascist. What do you have to say about them? I would say what a fascist Would a fascist do this. Yeah, and then I would you know, maybe show her some dances like choreograph. Yeah with the apes Mm-hmm What a fascist do this and then you try to kiss her. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah What a fascist said now use at one point you said you believe in spousal abuse. Yeah

And I would say yes, and I haven't changed my opinion And I still feel the same way as I did When you've given a woman her last word and she's already had a last word I think we have to do this ad reading. What is it? Huh? What's it for? It is well, I still got another four minutes. Oh It's a good ad read this week. Mm-hmm. I think yeah, it's really good music. I'll give it to you. It's your show Yeah, sure. Yeah, I'm excited to talk to them about it be doing the read. I guess well I'll tell you I'm six days more than that now. I think I'm going on no vape. No vape. Yeah. Yeah, how does it feel?

It feels honest suits I'm like normal now, but I can't get shit so hard to get anything done without it You know what I mean? Well, you also had the time change. I was never an Adderall guy, but Doing the dishes you do a dish hit the vape do a dish hit the vape You know take a shit hit the vape wipe my ass hit the vape You know wake up hit the vape now. I'm not wiping. I'm just shitting in my pants The dishes are all fucked up. That's so that's what that smell like Maybe it was me. Yeah, it was you, but you know me. I'm fucking I'm deer pellets. Mm-hmm

I was one little pellet a day. Well, I thought you were owl pellets. No, that's actually not shit It's not shit. No, they eat that this is what's crazy They eat my entire mouse and then they're they just reassemble the bones and they're like in the in the fur Yeah, the stomach just fucking yeah, and then they throw up the rest of it Which it's like is there a way with scientists can figure out that we can eat that way whole animals? Well, I mean, it's a very native American way. Yeah, they use every part except our owls native American. Mm-hmm. Yeah Certain species animals, but like, you know, if they could talk or they'd be like, oh, who who who Who I always wondered that why the animals don't have yeah regional access. Yeah, how yeah

Do you think like a like a an African element elephant and like Southeast Asian elephant would be like? What the hell is this guy talking about? Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to think of other regional animals. Yeah You know dogs are Spanish all of them they're from Spain at Peros Yeah, I think dogs originated in Spain really I I somebody told me that yeah, in fact, it was a girl told me that and then she also told me that that's why all dogs Naturally understand Spanish they learn Spanish No, yeah, well dog that's not that the dog speaks Spanish, but that the dog

Understands is easier to train a dog in Spanish. Mm-hmm then a lot of people do it I'm sure about the guy that was like the dog with Caesar Milan, right? It's no it's that you could get any fucking guy that speaks Spanish really and it would work that way any Spanish guy literally Yeah, yeah, and he can talk to a dog. Yeah. Yeah, I love being an animal whisperer I mean that they say that about Jews and rats. Mm-hmm, but it's not true octopus Octopi that's what I would go you would talk to them any kind of invertebrate really all of them if I could have if I could do a whole classification if I could go to the beach and just with my mind like communicate and then if I can like a very imagine a very busy beach like

Like Jaws or something. Mm-hmm your Coney Island in the middle of the summer And then I just come out and then there's a bunch of children screaming and crying You'd be like your other foot jellyfish or just stinging everyone. Everyone's just covered. Oh, I thought like either you'd have either foot on their heads You'd be emerging like King Triton. No, they don't have bones They can't really do anything. Also, then I would be they would be stinging me Not from their heads. Oh Jellyfish you can't touch. Yeah, I don't trust them, but the octopuses seem like nice guys jellyfish are cool. Why? They just look cool. Yeah, but they're assholes. They hurt you. I don't think they don't have like a nervous system

So how do they sting you because they're just covered in sting in point in the state They're covered in like poison. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, they can't help it Isn't it like electric though or something? I don't think so. There's one type What is it the man of the man of war or the box jellyfish? Oh, yeah, the the Portuguese man of war. Yeah, that one will fuck you up That's a badass name. No one can kill a grown man. Yeah And it's like is that even at war or he just he doesn't know his own strength Yeah, maybe he just wants to find love, but he can't get too close to people So he has to be lonely. These are the kinds of things me and Barbara Walters would talk about

Yeah, when she comes and visits me in my jungle kingdom. Yeah, I was writing a book about a cactus That was like that for kids. No, really? Yeah, you should tell Norman your idea. Norman loves children's book ideas. Really? Yeah Well, mine's about a cactus even before he had kids one time. He was like, yeah, this idea of What's that? He said this sincerely. He's like earnestly. He's like it's about it's about a king Okay, that every year on his birthday. He makes a wish that he isn't the king anymore So then and then fucking and then he tells someone his wish that way doesn't come true. Oh So he's like he's crossing his fingers. Yeah, but he told so how's that a story? Where's the calm? I don't know. He's like, he's like, I think that would be a really good idea and he multiple times

It wasn't just one like this was an idea. Were you guys intoxicated when he bring it up? No, I mean, well probably you're always drunk, but Yeah, he fucking he loves this thing about that. Yeah, the king Remember he said yeah, I mean the king we wish that he didn't die or something and then he would tell somebody his wish And it's like well, why is it even a king? It could just be anybody. Yeah, everybody gets a birthday wish It's stupid. Yeah, that's a bad idea. It's a fucking terrible. We love you, but that's a bad idea guys March Madness is just around the corner and Our friends and my bookie got some great deals for you March Madness is officially become

It's time for you to shoot your shot and score big on the non-stop action with my bookie Whether you're filling out multiple back brackets betting on an eventual national championship winners or simply looking for a player and game Props my bookie and guy you covered Getting started with my bookie a simple visit their website online make your first deposit use promo code Tafs we think I Think so. I think you're right Tafs to claim on Dave Can you get with Joey at some point figure out what the promo code actually is? All right, thanks That's promo code Tafs to claim some extra money on top of your initial

On top of your initial deposit it is Tafs with hundreds of thousands and prizes March Madness and buy weekly blackjack tournaments You can turn your game day into payday with my bookie bet anything anytime anywhere with my bookie Additional details guys the deposit bonus being promoted is a 50% deposit match up to $2,000 it's pretty fucking good So you can get a thousand free dollars there minimum deposit is $50 the maximum bonus amount receivable is 2,000 the maximum is 2,000 that's pretty fucking hardcore Bonus is only for you new customers do not promote the percentage 50% into okay never mind

I'm not going to do that say Oh Okay, all right, well I saw it. Yeah, so I think we did it. Yes and March that seems like kind of an ableist name Yeah, aren't you not supposed to say madness anymore? Yeah This is different. This is this person is mad. No, it's acting different. Yeah, I mean they're neurodivergent Was Hitler a neuro a typical yes, yeah Is it he had adult ADHD? Yeah, and that's why he was on amphetamines. Oh

Yeah, it's the only thing that can help him like focus Well on the task at hand, which is a war in two fronts. Have you been to that Lego store? I Haven't been inside. No, what's it like in there? I don't know But my I want to go in but I'm my sober friends go there because they have to get into stuff So they don't do drugs so they're into Lego. They're into Legos. They just stay up for three days doing Legos They're into WWE now. They're into that shit. I had just cable on and I guess yeah fucking wrestling just came on Yeah, I really don't I Just don't get it. I watched Smackdown with him

Smackdown still on it's still on and you can bet on Smackdown My bookie dot dot a G a G. Yeah Yes, I Went yeah, we watched Smackdown and then we watched after Smackdown is something called AEW Mm-hmm, which comes on they love letters. Yeah, they love letters. The original LGBT was WWF Yeah, mm-hmm. They were the ones that started all this fucking letter bull shit. The first trans was gold dust Yeah, that's actually true. Yeah first trans. Yeah, yeah I don't people say that but like when they get an arguments online about this the idea gender identity stuff

So we would say trans people have existed for thousands of years Which I think they could very well be true, you know, I'm not gonna deny it It's but it is just such a funny mental image. Yeah, it's just Just like just some lady was like pink hair and like a modern DSA pin yeah, yeah, and they're like talking to some guy that's just his entire body is a sock Yeah, soars all over his face. He's dying for the plague right all he does is swing and axe Yeah, and they're like, do you know this there like seeding for Do you have disabled seeding here? I want a dragon's lair?

Yeah, I'm what are we saying before that trans thing Were there trans people in the Bible? Yeah, who? Mary Was she trans? Well, she didn't have sex She was the first guy to have a lot of sex what trans people fuck a lot Yeah, but she was never inseminated. That's got because she's got a really sucks. She was a you transition I'm you probably transition and then nobody will fuck you Uh-huh to be in that position where you're like a piece of ass as a guy

No, I mean there's got to be somebody that's like that, you know It's like a probably difficult process to be like oh this I feel I'm gonna go and then you do you do transition and then Like you're thinking like oh well now I can explore Relationships, yeah, but you still have a bad personality. Yeah, people still just people so people still don't fuck with you We got to move off this top. Yeah. Yeah, they're there. I know I'm the one to bring it up school episode, huh? This is an old-school episode for us. I don't know. Yeah I've really I've gotten sucked back into the whole the discourse now with the with the D the D trans thing Mm-hmm, cuz it's like at what point, you know, it just it'll just

Like a kid like what at what point do you think like even the tumblr people be like all right? You can't be like redi redi redi redi trans. Yeah, there has to be one that's gone back and forth and back and forth There's got yeah, there's got to be a limit, right? But then once you have like X and then if you go forth again, then you stop being a conservative hero, of course Yeah, then you go back to being don't just keep yeah, just like bouncing back and forth Like who's gonna be at the forefront somebody needs to be cabling gender has to do it Well, the idea is right that you gender You if your gender is fluid, right? So you you should be allowed to right? Yeah, but fluid has a

Fluid is still a defined state. Uh-huh. You know, I think gender is vapor gender plasma. Yeah gender is plasma. Yeah Plasma why are you saying that? I don't know. Yeah, I sort of a doctor evil or something Oh, I was thinking more like a Javier Bardem. He should have played dr. Evil. He would have been really scary Yeah, it would have been a totally different movie. I dr. Evil was always kind of miscast. Yeah. Yeah way too funny You're right. It's just he's not way too funny. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and they should have had um, what's his name Beetlejuice play me mini me mini me. Yeah Well, he would have said too much They wouldn't have been able to get him to not not talk, you know during takes

Yeah, he would have made me was supposed to be so funny on set. Can you imagine Austin Powers? Oh my god They would have break broken character constantly. Yeah. Yeah, but he would beat Scott's ass That would have been pretty funny. You said you read watch those movies recently and they didn't I didn't rewatch No, I didn't rewatch those. I'm rewatching South Park right now. I'll tell you that it is very funny show Yeah, I can't rewatch The fear I have that it won't hold up awesome powers. Yeah, I don't think it holds a very special place Especially awesome powers to yes, I tell you that restaurant. I go to in Dumbo. The one that's just a restaurant. Yeah, yeah It's the same kind of thing. My memories of Austin powers to

It's like it. That's the food people have it's a special place. Yeah, you know, I go back and powers to restaurant Yeah, if I go back, I can't like I would have to if I watched awesome powers to I would have to go to a 2002 Style movie theater. Yeah, which I guess are the same. They really haven't changed. No, the seats would be less comfortable And it might be all flat. No, that's older because 2002 is when they started doing stadiums. Do you remember stadiums? The first time you're like, holy shit. Every seat is good. Yeah. No, that was crazy. This is incredible Yeah, yeah, people forget like movies these days of all flat squeaky chairs. They didn't recline There's everything was sticky. Uh-huh. And then there was no there's no roller coaster or all over. Yeah

There's no roller coaster was just fucking like ads for like a local dentist. Yeah, and that's all you got. Yeah And you could beat off in there. Yeah, and the old men cruising. Yeah. Yeah, yeah There'd be old men cruising for for sex. Yeah, my eyes are really itchy Yeah, I don't know what it is, dude. I've this fucking one-hour time change just fucked me up this week Oh, yeah, it wrecked me especially because it was the last night in Omaha So I did go to sleep. I had to do I do the show and I hang out afterwards a little bit Yes, say hi to people and then and then had a flight at like 7 a.m.. And that was 6 8 I'm already the day before I'm already thinking and I'm jet lag. Oh, I'm already thinking, you know

All right, this is gonna be a very limited amount of sleep Even less an hour less an hour less an hour less and then I spilled juice all over myself at the airport And then you had to sit like that for how many hours all over because I bought I bought it I didn't I opened it and then I paid for it and I forgot I opened it and I went to like shake it up And I just just all over so yeah, and then I was like an infomercial and I'm more right on four hours of sleep And I had to lie to that I had to explain to this woman. I'm like why the hell did this happen? I had to make it seem like it was her fault this poor Bangladeshi woman. I had to blame her for my life We're gonna the Omaha airport

Yeah, the juice and then she with that really I was expecting a fight I was ready and then she just gave me another juice and I was like well That's very kind of you and then I was already covered and then she wiped me and then she wiped you up and down She wiped a bit. I mean it was all she give you her clothes. I was kind of yeah I wore her clothes under the plane and she just stood there completely nude. Wow. What's her name? Let's shout her out Aisha Siddiqi. Oh, shout out to her. Yeah Cheers to her

Why'd you bring her up by the way, huh? She do something recently. I was just looking at Twitter No, I hadn't looked in a week at Twitter. Yeah, and her name is still on there. Yeah, she's still on there That's crazy. She's still fucking catching bodies. You would think that they're still sniping them You would think that like, you know now that she has like a real career. She'd just be done with it Like is Eve Pizer still on Twitter? She has a character. What do you mean she has a character? She doesn't do it as herself. She does as a character What's the character? It's like this Jack Nicholson going like this Oh drill. You're saying she's drill. Yeah

Yeah, I would make cuz I used to Siddiqi has been on on Twitter for 25 years now. Yeah. Yeah. How old is she? 65 she's already 25 years. Yeah Yeah, shout out to her. I can't imagine that for her own sake, you know, yeah For her safe. She should come on. She should come on the out of freedom show. What does she talk about? I Don't know. I mean I look I haven't read anything. She's real. I remember when she first started writing for what is it? New Republic and Was it the New Republic new inquiry Is it it was like the left? Oh, yeah, right, right, right. Yeah, the new inquiry. Anyways, yeah

All the only thing literally the only thing I tell you about her is that she likes Kanye West Or did at one point and I have not even heard that name or thought about it until you mentioned it Right before all I said was Is she hot? Yeah, and I said from what I remember the avatar I remember. Yes And then we did a quick Google and I said never I said never mind A human mind is a precious thing to waste. Yeah, yeah, that's it. It is a funny thing that you have you had a file cabinet of women's avatars

You know file cabinet of women's avatars in your brain. They're gonna print out. I just heard Like what you were thinking that you're like, yeah, it's her in profile. Yeah, I remember there's one Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, that's all I never was like what is the Isha Siddiqi look like it was just that yeah I mean, I know like you say that name. I know pushing hoops. I know the name comes up Who's that? Isn't that her fucking was that her at pushing hoops? Maybe. Yeah, right? Yeah This goes way back. She was on this is like this is like 2010 2011. Yeah, that was when I was on that website Yeah, yeah, and she was part of this like new wave of people that do like cultural blogging Yeah, and then it's like I'm Malcolm. Yeah, which I always thought was annoying because I'm not like it's it's for like

Academics or whatever. Yeah, it's not fucking like that thing like people that like and now I'm doubt She's one of the people that like love DFW You know what I mean after like intellectual eyes, dude. No, it's not us They're the intellectual eyes like watching fucking an infomercial watching TV. Yeah, exactly like tick-tock Well, how tick-tock relates to new sincerity. It's like shut the fuck up like yeah If you're watching the the the Hulu plus the morning. Yeah, who fucking cares stop thinking Just stop thinking if your brain won't shut off to the extent that you have to intellectual eyes fucking Ted Lasso Yeah, then fucking do fentanyl. Yeah, do heroin. Yeah, do drugs until your brain stops being alcoholic

Uh-huh, don't fuck dude. Do not open a substack watch sports. Yeah Yeah, but then they do that too. That was that same era. That's what they do that with sports It was like what was it Grantland and fucking and deadspin? Well, I think what happened was born out of that like especially with MBA It was a lot of white people talking about a black sport So then they got really into the math of it because they were like you can't be racist if you're just talking about and then We make up like new math stats. Yeah, so then this is a way we could talk about about a black sport without being like He's a bum. Yeah, you know, uh-huh. You can call them a bum because of the math. Yeah, not because of

Just going out on a limb and just Saying that you think he's yeah, honestly, I've come full circle where the only type of cultural critic I enjoy is like a reddit soy face nerd that's really excited about shit for babies and He buys the toys associated whatever the media the Funko. Yes. Yeah. Yeah Funko pops guys I was got all that's my that's my Pauline Kale is basically the guy like that He's like he's like I saw I saw five all goes to the moon part four and it was awesome. I Was amazing. I just saw cars three and you're not gonna believe Joey the dump truck is back And guess what folks there were plenty of Easter eggs and he's

Yeah But they're so everyone knows to stay after the credits But if you stay for four and a half hours after the final showing ends There's an additional Easter egg where a social worker shows up at the movie theater and takes you back to your parents house Which? Possibly had nothing to do with the film, but I thought it was awesome To me it was awesome Those guys are all they're great those guys rule. That's the last happy people in America. That is the new sincerity

Yeah, yeah, it's not a fucking Indian girl writing about how Kanye or whatever. Yeah, I'm dismantling It's it is a structure. It is a mental fucking invalid. Yeah. It was a guy who can't Can't near like he's on the borderline of being on a guy who is such a Consent he has never even trimmed his pubes even once because he's not even try he's not even aware that they've grown He hit puberty at some point and it was just a process that happened to the body. Yeah, it's just he's just a man child Yeah, yeah, and maybe one day he's like, well, I don't remember having hair on my penis But this is where he came and went and now he's yeah, yeah, he's just very excited. I'm so nice Yeah, they're so nice even about his crap got to make sure my dad gets the vaccine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, oh

And he's so nice about the virus to everyone Never argues about it. He never he doesn't yeah, he doesn't even know where this debate happened There's no debate. He's just waiting for the latest baby media To really get in the baby stuff is back. It's a huge kick out of reddit bots. Yes when he says, thank you good, sir Interesting. That's the 980th time someone said sir on this subreddit and he's like wow, can you believe that? One of those guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah guy who gets reddit gold. Yeah. Yeah those guys. Mm-hmm. Yeah Damn, I wish I was one of them. Me too. I should get in the baby movies. They're so awesome. Yeah, they can't even conceive of sex They just never heard of it. Oh, they've never heard of it. Yeah

Yeah, good for them. What are the new baby movies coming out? All right, let's check that out has Pixar done anything Well, everything's just you know everything's like Abelita the new Pixar I want to go I'm gonna go to I'm gonna go to the movie theater in Union Square after this and watch Whatever baby movie there is. Let's go do it. And then I'm gonna sit there the entire time by myself and going yeah gay Yeah, what if this is for fucking baby, I hate that I have to fucking be here for work My fucking job. I don't want to be I don't watch this shit I'm a grown man

So we got the the amazing one eye the amazing Maurice is out Um, what's that about? It's about a cat named Maurice a big fat cat. It's you it's voiced by Garfield Hugh Laurie from house Really? What's it about? Do you want to go see the amazing Maurice? Kind of yeah, do you want to see if we can find some fucking oxy? Just feel like those guys Like this is awesome. Oh, yeah, dude. Just throwing up in the popcorn bag. That's how you know, it's working

Terry Pratchett's Carnegie willing Carnegie winning disc world book the amazing Maurice is a successful Rai odd utterly British spin on Shrek like self-aware fairy tales Stuffed with motor mouths and throwaway gags the chunky animation can be a little off-putting, but it's monument Where am I oh? Oh, but it's momentary ugliness feeds into its delightful dark villains It's underdog heroes and the strange story trying to pull them all together. This isn't pristine groundbreaking photo Oh, oh, I thought photo real. I thought it was photoreal Photoreal. Yeah, I thought it was like something making up a big word about

Photoreal. Yeah photo real CG But the cartoon cartoonishness that suits its oddballs and might give a even a kid a straight nightmare or two That sounds too scary Yeah, yeah, I don't want to see it I mean I'd be honest with you. I'm thinking about doing this and what I'm zeroing in on is the drugs aspect. Yeah Puss in boots the last wish that's supposed to be good That's supposed to be good Do you know when for the first post in boots came out or maybe was Shrek 3 came out?

Yeah, Antonio Banderas who played puss in boots. He watched it and he cried Because he was so proud of his performances post in boots. Really? Did you know that? That's one of my favorite stories. That's beautiful. Yeah That and also the other thing too is that puss in boots the first one was released in Israel is Shrek's cat Yeah, because they don't they didn't try puss in boots wouldn't translate. So the name of the movie was Shrek's cat Puss and boots. Yeah. Yeah Puss and boots. Yeah, pussy. You know another one from one of those is a Patriot day Patriots day. Yeah, the fucking the Boston bombing. Yeah, yeah in Germany. They just really said movie is Boston Patriots day because I would imagine that Patriots day in German is probably like, you know fucking Sieg Heil. Yeah

Yeah, these yeah, right send them to the camps or whatever all those expressions probably got gobbled up by the Nazi Party We could go see We could go see This movie Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio, but that sounds scary too. I think I'm gonna start talking like that He used to annoy me when you would do it, but no, it's a nice way to talk. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Hand me the fucking ketchup, but we could go see Diary of a wimpy kid Roderick rules So Diary of a wimpy kid colon Roderick rule. Yeah It's hard to believe but this is the sixth film adapted from Jeff Kinney's Diary of a wimpy kid

Every second adaptation of Roderick rules. We got to read the books first. We're not gonna know what's going on We could go see a strange world Disney strange world Strange world Disney's soul original animated feature of 2022 Combines facets of Pixar's pair of the last year's releases to a lesser effect I'm looking back towards light years loving homage to pull folks to pull fiction And forward to turning reds progressive and wholesome examination of specific family dynamics Strange world is late to its own company's trends Who's writing this seriously about baby movies?

Paste magazine Ten I always hated that name to paste magazine. Yeah, shut up sounds sticky. It's nasty. That's a horrible It's what come magazine. Yeah from the makers of paste magazine introducing Diary a restaurant Come on down to Diary a restaurant by the owners of paste magazine. We're selling hamburg Oh, okay here. Oh, uh, chicken run dawn of the nugget. It's coming out this year Oh, the new Wallace and Grum. They just need to go back. They need to do more Wallace and Grum And I said, that's the thing. I never liked chicken run. I don't think anybody liked chicken run And they keep they keep fucking hammering us with chicken run when all anybody wants

His Wallace and Grum at five Which yeah, I haven't paid attention. I don't know if that's out or it might probably is yeah Uh chupa is coming out this year while visiting his family in Mexico teenage Alex gains an unlikely companion when he discovers a young chupacadra Uh hiding in his grandfather which is like an octopus. It's also a dog or something. It's like, um, I think it's like a Mexican grimace Oh, okay. It's like grimace Cheeseburgers I like I love cheeseburgers. Oh, I feel so purple right now

I'm big. I'm big. I'm big and I'm purple and I love cheeseburgers Actually, we had a lot of cheeseburgers because I'm a big purple beach and here come the robber man Yeah, and he's stealing cheeseburgers Grumace is uh, what's guys are the lights changing? What are you doing with that? I don't know No, it's all right Did you do that or did something fuck? Oh, you did do it. Can you show them some more light options? Dave Let's just showcase our lights for the for the people. Oh

Well, not that one. No, not that one do party That one's cool. I love this one. I like this one. So you've been living in this jungle for 15 years Uh, have you you're an stated goal of of recreating dream cast with coconuts? Have you accomplished? No I can't say I have but I've met a lot of friends along the way. Well, thank why do we have the same voice? I don't Know because you owe my brother. Why this is cool. This is what's this? What does this look like on the screen? Yeah Harsh Yeah, this one's this one's like if we're ever doing the show and like, you know, because world war three is gonna happen

Yeah, and when fucking weren't like the 11th hour rush is about to launch the nukes You know, it's great. We're gonna live stream. Yeah, we're gonna live stream the end of the world Oh my god. Yes, we are. We'll do that. We're set up for live stream. We'll do. Yeah, we are We'll do that lighting and uh, yeah do this and be like, thanks for watching the the world war three live coverage with the adam friedlin show uh tonight We've gone too far We've gone yolo and ukraine. Yeah, and uh the biden family

They said it wasn't gonna happen, but I'll tell you it looks like it happened. A lot of those biden women are like just very serviceable Sixes. Yeah. Yeah. Dece. Dece. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna call it the Dece family. Everybody. They should They should change their name to the Dece family. She's Dece. Yeah, none of them are hot. No, but every hand daughters Every single one of those biden ladies. They're Dece. You're like, okay I can see why your husband died of brain cancer and then your fucking brother-in-law did a bunch of coke and stuck his dick in you Yeah, I can see it. Yeah. She Dece. I can see I can see why your uncle Did a bunch of paintings and then it had sex with you when you were 13

Okay, nice. No, I understand the noise. I understand why your grandpa took showers with you. President noise. Yeah I love it. I can tell why your grandfather wanted to smell you. I love it. Dude. I love I love the People say that like oh trump ruined the republican party. He made the party amazing Yeah, like whatever look once every four years they get in power and they send every black person to a camp, you know, whatever Don't lose the next election. We take the black people out of the camp. Yeah, we let women get abortions But then what I want, I just want to give them coupons as reparations They should have permanent access to any kind of crazy investigation that congress wants to do In fact, congress shouldn't even we should have a separate chamber of congress. I don't know why we wrapped up shop on Benghazi

Yeah, no, we should have a separate chamber of congress where you can elect the most insane right-wing woman from every town They just get they automatically get to go there a bobert from every state of 50 bobers They have unlimited resources to and Complete subpoena power. They have access to all information Everybody's records and inspector general to do whatever The most insane thing that comes to mind Whatever they fucking yeah, yeah, that would be cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would love that. Yeah, and everyone ignores them But right. Nobody pays attention. Just major retailer green with a fucking a-frame set up

And she's got a picture of ashley biden's cunt Just stolen from her gynecologist's office. Yeah, and she's like you can see that she fucked chinese guys Yeah, you can look at the way the cash payments went into the pussy. She fucking to 10 years ago She fucked a chinese guy. Yes, and then two weeks ago now suddenly a deposit for 35 000 in her account from um, uh A goldman sacks who parent goldman? What's gold chinese people chinese they're sort of a gold color. Yeah gold man sacks nut sacks She fucked nut. She had a gold man's nut sack in her pussy and she has an account of goldman sacks

Explain that. Mm-hmm. And then it's just taxpayer money just now second slide. Nobody gets health care Yeah, this is going on 24 7 c span 4 they spend billions of dollars Tax money She spent four and eight k. Yeah. Yeah, and everybody has access to it. We can just watch you're fucking crazy 24 hours a day We give them amphetamines. Yeah. Yeah, I would love that. They're geeked up In congress. Yeah. Yeah, the women that are too crazy for even talker to speak to Yeah Who voted who voted for these people?

Like even if you're a fucking conservative like who's like like la, yeah But who's voting for fucking bober was from a super conservative district? And I think she almost lost the democrat. Yeah on the last one. Yeah Well, she was just so bitching on like a shitty restaurant. She was just like a gun themed restaurant A gun themed like buffalo wild way Yeah, who's husband like, uh, yeah He exposed his penis in a bowling alley to a chop And then she was there too. That's the best part of the story. She was there. She's like get him, baby

And he's like just fuck just showed his penis to a That they're like a dispute over like the nfl bullets machine or something That's what I want. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want the obama type of politician is done to me I don't want the kind of people. They're like, yeah, well say hi to facebook Mm-hmm. Yeah, those people. Yeah, take their phones out and say, oh, you you're gonna be on facebook. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, people yelling at a cvs. Yeah, Gavin Newsom is the worst to me What what is he doing? He's just does an obama impression, which it's shocking to me that more people don't point that out Wasn't that what quarry booker did too quarry booker to an extent

But Gavin Newsom is like Gavin Newsom does like a comedians level impression of obama where he's like You can't you know, he's got like the main does like james austin johnson level. He does like the mannerism. He's got chops Yeah, he's not like, you know, like like like pete is doing obama You know, there's plenty of politicians that are doing obama. Yeah, but gavin's like got his like his man Is like his like hold like talk and be like that He's got this like bounce that's fucking like these subtle things that like a very good impressionist would pick up on But it's like it's jarring because it's like you look at him and you're like, this is man is a complete fraud

Yeah, it's not it's not in the way that you know, and maybe it predates that who knows Maybe like for some reason they both just have the same like cadence and and way of moving They came up in the same I don't think they did I think he just saw the goat and he yeah, you wanted to ride off this Wait play me a clip. I want to know. Let me see. You're a Gavin We should get like every other podcast that has like a screen where we can just watch youtube Yeah I put it on the mic. Let me just express my gratitude to each and every one of you but

Most importantly to my kids. I was I leaned over to a few folks I said the most stressful part of the day was Look at him. Don't listen to him. You got to look at look at the way he moves his body. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, see the like lip licking it's like It's like My kids get through that pledge of allegiance. I think we spent about 600 hours on that and uh It paid dividends and paid dividends. So did Jen learning Spanish by the way, that's uh Mark

Look, uh, what a glorious and gracious day I want to thank all of you particularly those of you that took the time to to walk with us to march with us Uh, Dolores where to lean over and say look I've marched with a lot of people but uh Martin Luther King never walked as fast as you are right now. Oh That's a cool brag. That's a trump level brag. Yeah, I walk faster than Martin Luther King. Yep. Uh, Dolores where? You think there was like you think it to the million man march There was some like fucking like older jewish guy that thought it was a power walking event That just showed up in spandex and was like, I'm honey. I'm winning

And they're all black guys and I'm faster than all of them. And when did you believe who else was in the race? Can you believe it? I beat a million black guys at the power walking race. I beat a million black guys. Yeah No one is going to buy this. Do you think that happened? I entered the million man march and I beat I won. I Did you hear more? I was the only one with a number and it was all black guys And it was all black and what beat them all and muslims too. Yeah some muslims And then the muslims are pretty even the women and then prison walking around all day and he won. Yeah, and Moret were very happy for you to make the announcements at the synagogue. Congratulations more on your victory at the million man march

Cognoscopy up three weeks earlier. He said I gotta get well. Let's take a look in there now. I have the confidence We can get the polyps removed. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid anymore He said he he got home. He immediately scheduled five colonoscopies for the rest of the year He's got one every month now. If I beat them all at a race. I'm my If I can beat a million black guys, I can beat cancer. I may as well beat cancer All right. Well, we should probably uh, yeah, wrap this up. Let's wrap it up. All right. Thanks folks once again. I'll be at braya Um I think I think I already sold out of all the t-shirts, but I will be doing t-shirt drops more t-shirts on the way

Are my end too and next weekend the 2030 through 25th? I will be in raleigh and the sixth through the eighth. I will be in salt lick city. Thank you So Your jungle castle Yeah Tell us more they've cut cut the lights faster. Come on. What are you fading? You got to get you got to figure out that preset with the Fucking oh now. Why do you do it? You got to figure out that cut the broadcast cut the broadcast that preset with like the the uh, Jesus christ, dave. Yeah

All right. Well, that was fun. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah