The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - EP. SNT – Sneezing

Episode Date: October 13, 2022

PHOENIX ARIZONA THIS WEEKEND STAND UP LIVE OCT 20-22 MINNEAPOLIS, ACME COMEDY CLUB patreon.com/tafs

Oh Yeah, thank you. And we're live. And we're live. Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show, the Wednesday episode, going up for free on feed. This is it. And if you like spending money on the show, you can go to patreon.com. And if that's not enough for you, you can come see me at Phoenix, in Phoenix this weekend, Phoenix. Arizona at the stand up live, I think is the name of the venue. We got to hustle to move those tickets. Phoenix, Arizona, I'll be there. And then next week, I'll be in Minneapolis at Acme Comedy Club. That's where I'm from. You're from Acme Comedy Club? Yes. You haven't sold out those shows yet? The shows, none

of my shows sell out anymore. Yeah. I mean, the people that wanted to see me went to Austin. They all drove 15 hours to go to Austin. And now I'm struggling. Yeah, they drove. Buy those tickets, folks. Come on. If you're listening to the show right now and you live in anywhere close to these two cities, buy the tickets. Thanks, man. Why would you not buy the tickets? They're really nice. That makes no sense. If you are a fan of the show, you're coming in hot on this one. I'm a little hot on the microphone. I think we've got to turn it down. Adam, how are you? I'm not sick. That's for sure. You know, Nick, I was walking over to the studio for my apartment today. You walked here from your apartment? Yeah.

That's actually not a bad walk. It's a nice walk. It's a nice walk. I'll tell you something. Any walk in New York City is a nice walk. I really fully believe that. Even the walk alive. That's right. Well, that's one of the best walks. What about the walk away from the World Trade Center after you've escaped on September 11, 2001? You speaking of walking, I saw something insane happen this morning. I was in the coffee shop waiting to get coffee and there was a woman in a wheelchair in front of me. Yeah. And she was talking to the baristas and she explained, she was explaining to them. They were like, how's it going? She's like, I don't know, kind of having a rough day. I went outside this morning and someone had

stolen my ramp to get in and out of. They took her ramp. You know who did it? Who? Skaters. How would they do that? So they can do tricks off it. What do you think? I'm telling a tragic story. That's heartless. I'm trying to find the comedy in them. So I was walking over to the studio and I... You know, you don't sound good. For you telling me I'm sick this whole time. You sound like on the radio. You sound gravelly. That's my voice. Go ahead. I'm walking over here and I see ostensibly homeless man sleeping on a very large, like soft plushy white couch. It's like a crate and barrel couch. Oh, really? It's nice. It's nicer than anything in my apartment by far. And I'm looking at that and I'm like, jeez,

that's a nice couch. And I've wandered a couch for a while. And you gotta be homeless now. Well, he kind of has a better situation. Then I call Adam because I tell him I'm coming over. Well, you sit down on the couch next to him. And make the call. Yeah, you make the call. And I say, Adam, it's Stephen. How are you? And Adam says, he sounds terrible on the phone. He says, I'm just waking up from a nap. I don't know what's up or what's down. He's been sick for a day. He does it literally every month he does this. I go, I miss the memo. Yeah, he gets everyone sick. I'm not sick. I didn't say that I was sick. It was nap time. You can't tell that he's sick because his normal state is like kind

of slouchy and called him 45 minutes later. Still sick. Yeah, still nappy. I got a text just now says it's from the IRS. I bet you it really is that let's call them up. Let's get let's get Vikram from the IRS on the phone. Well, it's not from a phone number. It's from do you want me to read their email address that this is always amazing content. The phone content. Yeah, the phone stuff scam likely. Yeah, well, I think that that really is the IRS. So yeah, but to go back to Stephen, as we have our friend Stephen Gerwitz often mentioned on the show editor of all of our video content. The phone should be able to tell you if someone's fat. That's surprising that technology hasn't gotten to

that point. Yeah, you know, and then it says ham likely. It's a big fat. So that's good. Adam, are you feeling okay? I'm feeling great. I've never felt better. I was kind of reluctant to come in here after I talked on the phone. You don't sound good. I feel great, dude. I started feeling a little bit tired yesterday. And then Nick, I called Nick, he was also feeling tired. I was definitely like I woke up yesterday. My nose was like, not congested, you know, his nose just hurts. And then like I'd slept it off. And then I feel fine. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, it made me sleep enough. You know, because usually I only sleep by four hours a night. You got the sleep you need. Yeah, I got a full eight hour sleep. I wake

up my face looks fine. My skin's not all fucking pallid. You look good. Yeah. And then, you know, it's like this, I used to have this every night. And now I just never get that kind of sleep anymore. So you got to get sick all this time. I don't know, man, I just want to sleep. Maybe you can have like a terminal illness or something. You'll just be healthy. We'll get eight hours a night. Yeah, I'd prefer not to have a terminal illness. A lot of people say life is a terminal illness, a sperminal illness. That'd be nice. HIV. That'd be nice. Anyway, so yeah, I'm not sick. Stephen, I don't want to step on any toes there though. You guys were locked in. What does it look like to watch? Yeah, I've never seen you do

this. What does it look like? It's very exciting to watch two geniuses of their craft podcast. You guys couldn't look like you're phoning it anymore. We're not phoning it. You're like yawning over here. You're sick. I've been working all day. And I get sick all the time. It doesn't count as sick anymore. It's you're just common. That's just your state. I'm just sick. I don't have COVID. Don't worry about it. How sexy could one guy be? I did have dinner last night with this guy's cocking ass with my girlfriend's grandfather. How sexy could one guy be? Boy, I'd like that guy to fuck me spit in my face, bend me over and call me a girl. Boo. Boo. I've seen this song normal. Ain't life a kick in the pants. Is that what that is or no?

Am I wrong? Is it Frank Sinatra? It sounds like it. Is that what the song is? I don't know. Yeah. You know, they called him the chairman of the board. Caratop. Caratop. Well, Caratop was originally in the rat pack. You know that? It was him, John Lovitz, Frank Sinatra. They had, what was his name? William Hung from American Idol. She bangs. They had a, what's it? The little boy Ricky Martin raped. The little boy Ricky Martin raped his nephew. He denies that. He denies it. He denies it. Well, why would he say, yeah, I did it. Why would I have Ricky Martin and no one can stop me? He denies it. I just want everybody. No one will ever stop Ricky Martin. The prince of Puerto Rico. He's from Puerto Rico. He

sure is. I didn't know that. He's a treasure. Treasure of the island. They love him. They call him, they call him, they call him the jester of Tortuga. Why'd you look at me like that when you said that? He thought it was going to crush. He thought you were going to be like Adam. That's the best thing I've ever heard. You made a funny joke earlier on this episode, but I forget it. I forgot what it was and we blew over. We're three minutes into this. Yeah, I think you made a good one like three minutes ago. What are you talking about? Now you're criticizing me at work. I bring you to work. Criticism's typically a negative. No, but the way it is, it sounded like a critical compliment, you

know? No, I'm saying you made a really good joke and I can't remember what it is. No, you're right, brother. What do you got going on the rest of the night? I thought we were hanging out. I thought we were too, but you came in and it seemed as if you get this over with and get out of here. Yeah, he was being real Hollywood when he walks in here. Well, I've never been asked to do a podcast before. You've done this podcast. Well, you did the old one. Yeah, I've never been asked to do the Adam Freedling show. Yeah, welcome. Thank you. Honestly, I really appreciate you guys bringing me on the show. Does it feel very different. It does. It's really nice to be doing it with you too.

You like the space. Look how close we are to being done here. The folks at home really don't know what I'm looking at right now. Like they really don't know what I'm looking at. There's a surprise in store for them. It looks amazing. I really have no idea. I said this when I walked in, but it smells great in here. I think it smells good too. Jordan was worried about it, but she works with these chemicals all the time. That sounds like it's going to be a you problem. I'm just a guy enjoying one cigarette. I'm one of those kids. I grew up, I like to sniff 409. A huffer. Cleaning product. Men's asses. You can get a little high off of that. I did not say that. He's

a little big in his britches over the Adam Friedland show. Yeah, of course. He's taking shots at everyone now. We've got to reel it in. Adam can go at me. I love him. This is like a don't feed the animals at the zoo situation. If there's a show called Seinfeld and you made a billion dollars off of it, how are you not going to piss in the home with people's mouths? How are you not going to be the king of comedy? It is a new you. Has anyone ever called you slime felled? Of course they have. It hurts every time. It's coffee. You're like a boneless Seinfeld. You're like a gooey Seinfeld. Well,

the truth is he didn't have bones either. What's the ghost in Ghostbusters that just eats all the food and then shits it out of me? It starts with an E. Slimer. Slimer. Starts with an E. Slimer. I did figure out a way to fix my posture. How? Exoskeleton. Oh, that is cool. Get a new body. Like the super soldiers of the future. I get like a mech suit. They have that now where they make these mech suits for soldiers and it's like why not just make a robot? I don't understand why some poor kid from Oklahoma has to sit inside the mech and then get kidnapped and have his dick saw off. Yeah, so great. He should lose a job. What do you mean? To a robot. He should lose his bet. He's losing the job to a robot anyways.

Yeah, but he gets to go to college now. Yeah, you're right. I guess I'm bad at the DSA stuff. You lost your way. Damn. What does that stand for? DSA, Democratic Socialists of America. You couldn't come up with a funny answer. No, but Steven might want to learn about socialism. You know, I can give him a pamphlet or something. You couldn't do a joke on the comedy show. We've always made jokes about a dick sucking association. I mean, it's a million time. So I came in here really excited. That's way better. Yeah. The guy, I can't believe I didn't tell you this. I woke up for my nap. I said, I got to get what got to wake up, got to walk outside, walk around the block, wake up. I got a milkshake. They have these damn peach

milkshakes over at the Chick-fil-A, right? Okay. They go down for a milkshake. I'm trying to do it like an anecdote on a talk show. It's good. Okay. They said, he's the host of the show. It's like Conan sitting there and he's like, the laces in my shoes weren't, you know, they were kind of like, they're kind of afraid. So I went to get new ones and then there's just like Dermot Mulroney sitting there, just blank faced. Yeah. Just classic. And he's like, I thought I had to, hey, I thought, yeah, I thought it was coming on. I thought you had to pitch a pro. I don't know one Dermot Mulroney. I don't even know how to say his name. What is it, Dermot? Dermot Mulroney? What has he been in? I don't know because there's, there's, there was a lawyer, there's Dermot

McDelrit and then Delrit Dermalon. There's Dermot Mulroney, Irish guys that they have names like that. Dermot Mulroney, Dermot McEllery, right? Dylan McDermot. Dylan McDermot. That's who I had one time when you said, Dylan McDermot, there's Dermot Mulroney and then Ed Burns. Was one of those guys in line in front of you at the Peach milkshake? Okay. It says, so I guess when you're a franchise owner at a, at a Chick-fil-A, they call you an operator. So they say, this is, this is the franchise operator. And it says on the receipt at the Chick-fil-A, this Chick-fil-A operated by Joshua Balls. I swear to God. That's why it's called a peach milkshake because he puts his nutsack in it. Joshua Balls. Regular milkshake. The man's name is Joshua Balls.

Then he dips his peach in. I didn't know if you would do it, but you did it. It was, well, why would I bring that story up on a comedy podcast unless there was a great punchline on Joshua Balls. That's your story now? Yes. But it says operated by Joshua Balls. That's what I liked. I, um, let's hear your story. Well, after I called you, and before I called you again, I stopped over at a bar just to get a Guinness. I like a Guinness after work. Yeah. Classic man. Full bar. And it's, you know, big bar. You got to repeat your McAnus. No, I like that bar though. You showed me that. Mickey Ains. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You went over to McAnus. Yeah, what's this place called? Anus Mickey's. That's a good bar, though, that you really showed me a good bar. Yeah, it's a good bar.

I went to Old Town. You ever been there? Yeah. That's a good bar. You took the Old Town Road. And I got a, um, I got a Guinness, but it was, it was a full bar, right? So there's nowhere to sit. Bought of chicks. Exactly. So I ended up right behind this Bond chick. Oh, I like it. And she's in a stool in front of me. Oh, yeah. And, um, get people to bitch and age, please. I'll tell you in a second. Oh, that's part of the part of the story. And I'm trying to give her a wide berth, you know, be chivalrous. She's giving birth at the bar. No, I'm just trying not to like, it's a crowded bar. And I'm not trying to like crowd her while I order my beer. Normally I put a penis to the penis to thigh. I didn't want to do that.

At least not yet. I didn't want to go there yet. I want to at least get my beer, get a couple sips in. So anyways, I sneak my arm and you ever do that move? You sneak your arm in between the two people to just be like, I'm here with a $20 bill. I want to get a beer. I eventually the bartender notices me. I get my beer. And I'm sitting there sipping it for a minute. And her companion, he leaves to go to the bathroom. And I'm thinking, this is maybe my chance to strike. The condor. Yeah. And the condor, the pussy condor. Would you believe it? She kind of swivels in her stool. Oh my God. When I'm kind of looking her way. And that blonde hair just kind of moves out of the way. And I just see a five o'clock shadow, 60 year old man. And I look at him and I

go, Hi, my name's Steven. And he looks at me. He goes, Joseph, Joseph Balls. Really? Well, the last part. No, but yeah, it was a guy. You met the inventor of the peach milkshake. You met the operator on a second. Joseph Balls. He's everywhere. It was Joshua Balls. It was Joshua Balls. I've got a bad memory. Well, that's fine. Don't worry about it. I thought the punchline was great. It's like Joshua Tree. I thought the payoff was incredible. Wait, the tree, it's a big parody. It really wasn't. It's an old fucking guy. It was an old guy. I really thought it was a woman. He's from behind. It looked like a sexy man or a sexy lady on me. Let's go with lady. Let's go lady. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that came out. Waiting for the train yesterday morning. In the morning.

And this like, this woman walks by and you know, she's like, nice looking lady, clean, you know. And in my head, I'm like, you know, why, why can't I date somebody like that instead of like, you know, somebody with schizophrenia or yeah, you know, I don't know, just someone who thinks that the government's trying to kill. Yeah, you know, like crazy people. Yeah. Then she's got like an iced coffee and the lid drops on the ground. And then she looks at me and she does this like, Oh, geez, you know, I'm like, No, it's probably fine. It's only like half second. She's like, Yeah, should I risk it? And then what I said, I was like, Yeah, who gives a fucking shit about anything? Why did you say that? That could have been a meet cute. I led too much too

much me in that. Oh my God, Nick, you couldn't you could have got this woman just winces. You could have got her number gotten met up for a drink or a coffee and gotten like five minutes into the date before doing that. Yeah, that's true. You cut you just blew it. Yeah. No, I just cut out a 20 years. Good morning. I'm going to kill myself. What's going on? How you feel? I feel fine. Yeah, you know, but it's just we all we're all fine. I feel great. I feel not sick for sure. Yeah. We're all okay. You know, that's how it should be. Yeah. Yeah, I guess we are. We watched Michael the other night. John Travolta. Yeah, he plays an angel. Who directed that one? John Travolta. Oh, really? Actually, God directed it. Yeah. It was

Noor Efron. Noor Efron wrote it. She didn't direct it. I think she did. Really? I think she did. Wow. So you guys get together after work and just watch movies during work, actually. Yeah, you think I sound sick. It was part of work. It was a business expense. You may sound a little sick. Really? Yeah, but it's probably from your lifestyle of fucking 65 year old men with women's hair. That reminded me of we had a joke once called the Joe Trains joke. You ever heard that joke? Yeah, I think you've run this one. We're not gonna do it. You love this show? No, no, no. You're on a comedy podcast. I'm not. You're not a comedian. You want to tell one of your jokes. You want to try it out for a while. Please. You love this bit. I honestly

don't really know that good. Continue. Okay. No, no, that's good. Why would you say that? It's good. It's good. It's good. I'd rather not now. So we used to have right now. I'm looking at two guys looking at their phone. No, I actually have to pull up the reads for this week. So I got to take a look at this. Adam's just chatting. Can I read it? Yeah, once we get in. I've never gotten you can read it. I've never gotten to do that before. I would love you to read it. You sound a little insincere, but I really would like to do that. We got some great partners. You know, I'm a big sports guy. I'm hoping that after the read, it's like halftime and we come out and have a real good game plan. We'll do some halftime adjustments. Coach Spolstress. Can we really,

really bring it? Yeah. We'll maybe play you at the four. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I'm trying to think some other stuff that's been going on in my life. How about you? That's not your job. I don't have to do it. Yeah, you're the guest. We could ask you about it. We're supposed to come. To be honest, I forgot I was on a show. I was just trying to talk to you guys. That's how you get in the zone. There's got to be a lot of just chilling until it feels like just hanging out. And then that's when you're ready to broadcast. Yeah. Yeah. So you have anything more in this Joseph Balls guy? This is Joshua Balls. Joshua Balls. That's a great name. No, that's pretty much all I got. But you know, he probably overcame a lot growing up. Yeah, he became a business owner. I

think if you own a Chick-fil-A franchise as busy as that one in Manhattan, New York, he's probably doing quite well. What kind of guy was it? I think Mrs. Balls is pretty happy with him. The big part, it was on the mic, but it was very good. Yeah, man. Yeah, that's good. That's cool. I haven't seen you smile like that in a while. Yeah, man. Look, it's the simple things in life. I should have tried that with that lady. Check this out. I think you did just right. Yeah, he was a fucking shit. Have you ever met a girl or guy on the train? No, I creep people out, dude. It's hard. It's a hard venue to start that kind of conversation. Well, I'm never, when I'm like out and about, I'm so I'm like gone that if I'm presented with like a like a situation, I mean,

I can't even talk to fucking like, you know, like I'm at the store and they're like, do you want to receive? And I'm like, no, do you? You know, like, I'm not thinking my brain doesn't work, you know, so if a woman's like, hey, nice shirt, I'm like, you're by sorry. I don't know how to handle this. I tell her nice, nice tits, nice breasts. I haven't met me once when I was walking to your house back in Bed-Stuy. And then you wandered around another hour. You were very excited about it. She approached me and like was flirting with me and I totally dropped the ball and I told Adam the story and he's like, you gotta find her. And I just wandered the neighborhood for like two hours. No, but it was during COVID. She saw Steven. Yeah. And then she took her mask off.

Yeah. Yeah. I just smiled at me to speak to him and speak to me, which is basically like showing your breasts back in those days. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Back in the back of the never found her. Never found her. Never found her. You should have put one of those Apple tags. Yeah, that you should have slipped one of those into her pussy. Yeah, I'll make my bitch wear an Apple tag and a pussy. I'm sorry. Could you put this in your, could you slide this in there? I'm not going to say it twice, but you better put this in. I need to find you again. Yeah. Maybe she's listening right now. Today's episode is brought to you by my bookie. Folks, Adam, what's going on? Nothing. Uh, no, what was that? I just had like a nothing. Don't worry about it. My bookie dot

age. My books sports is, is happening. It like crazy, like fucking crazy right now. The NBA season is about to start. We got the MLB playoffs and NFL season is going on right now. I don't have enough fucking time in my week for all these sports. Steven, how about you? I can't tell if you're acting or actually reading it. I'm not reading. I'm just talking about my experience. Yeah, we've, we've both experienced a lot of sports out there. We both experienced this website. Yeah, but I'm not satisfied just watching sports. I want a little bit more action more action than the gladiators on the field sweating on each other, grabbing each other and competing at the top of their physical, uh, whatever peaks. You just made me think of something.

Can we pause? Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My bookie dot com or my bookie dot age. Come town. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, we'll get back to it. We'll continue. Continue. Yeah. Really quick. Yeah. My friend's got a father. It's a little sick and he was like in the hospital. Yeah. And he called him today at lunch and he was talking to him and he was talking about how he got this bath from one of the nurses and he described her as like the perfect woman. He was like everything she ever wanted a woman and he described her as like an American gladiator slash MMA type fighter. And then he started talking about she was, what is it? How is the slash necessary? She's like a bodybuilder slash muscle lady. Yeah. She was muscular and she was slathering

him down and he got into it. He's like, she like grabbed him. She's grabbing his, um, the perfect woman. The perfect woman. And I didn't mean to interrupt. No, no, continue. But that, I mean, that's basically the story. It's a guy in a bathtub and a muscular nurse rubs soap all over his nude body and he couldn't get a heart on, but in his mind, he was coming all over her because he's too sick. Yeah. Yeah. That's really sad. That's life, man. Can you imagine at the end, at the very end? I can't even imagine taking a shower. Let alone having somebody else clean. I don't do it enough the showers. Whenever I do it, I'm like, I got to do this more. How often do you shower? I don't know. Probably not every day. Probably four times a week. That seems okay. You should

do it every day. I feel like you can do whatever you want at them. I know. But like when I'm in there, I'm like, Oh, I should do this more often. But then do it. This is great. Yeah. But like, you got to go, you got to go to the bathroom and take your clothes off and you got to go to my bookie.g and you got to be alone and check out the spreads and prop. I think I miss being, you know, I'm scared. I'm afraid to be alone. There are a few better life decisions than getting into sports gambling. That's true, Steven. I honestly think it can, it can bring a lot of entertainment to your life. That's right. And that's why I do it. You could bet on anything, anywhere, anytime, and you could double your first deposit

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action, the time is now. Make your winning move today. You a loser? Small dick? Why are you looking at me? Why are you looking at me when you say that? No, he's just asking the audience. You function as the audience. Yeah. Maybe maybe it's time to turn your life around. Take your entire paycheck and play Blackjack and mybookie.ag. Yeah, sign up at my bookie and use promo code and they gave, I think they finally gave us TAFS. Woo. We use promo code TAFS and claim your deposit match of any amount up to $1,000. Again, that's promo code TAFS to claim your bonus. Experience sports in a whole new light and make this season a winning one. Bet anything, anytime, anywhere. Wearing anything. Wearing anything. That's true because it's a website. Yeah, you can just be at

home. Yeah. I want to, honestly, I do want to thank, what is it, mybookie.com? Mybookie.ag. I've never done one of those, but I want to thank them for supporting the show. Thank you. I want to thank them for that. I wouldn't be here without that. Thank you for thanking them. Yeah, because just that they noticed your show and would do that to me, if I were you guys, that would mean a lot to me. It meant a lot to us. That was sweet of them to do such a thing. It was really nice of them. And they picked us up. They chose us out of nowhere. Well, that's what I'm saying. We were just plucky upstarts. We were just kids with a dream. I'd appreciate it. We were just kids. Just Fags by Patty Smith. Yeah, we were just Fags. You ever

read that book? Yeah. Just about a couple of Fags. That's the book I like to dry my leaves in. You ever do that? You get like a flower. You pluck it in the summer. You press flowers. You press a flower and in the fall, it's dried. I like to use that book to do that. Adam's book, Just Yidds. How's your Jewish holiday season going, Adam? No, it's over. It's done. Well, it's too cold right now. I was walking over here. All my stories about walking over here. I'm walking through Union Square. Let's hear it. But 20 people walk by these Jewish guys that have like the, what is it called? The Lulav and the Etro. Yeah, and they're waiting for a Jewish guy and they, like 20 people pass by them and then they see me and they're like, I'm sorry, are you Jewish? How do they, how do

they know? How do they know? Yeah, we were talking about this. They asked everybody. No, the 20 people walk by that they ignored. Yeah, how do they know? Do they ask you? Stephen once or twice, they've asked. You know, perhaps. When I had that huge beard, they asked me. When I had that huge nose, they were asking me about it. When I was wearing the big nose and I was dressed up like them. Yeah. Clenching my money. Jews are in the news right now. Jews are in the news. Here we go. This is my favorite segment. There's a lot going on. Kanye West has said the thing we're all thinking. No, Nick. Oh. So now Kanye West is done. Black excellence has finally gone too far. Jews are in the news. What do you think of all this, Adam?

Well, at first I was shocked and then I was scared. The Jewish music producers who have exploited blacks for 50 years have finally said whoops, as Kanye West has gone off. Yes, he has gone too far this time. This is the first time he's ever gone too far. They're all currently gathered on David Geffen's yacht sailing to Israel. When I heard the Kanye West statement that slavery was a choice, I said that's a little off. But he can have a second. Yeah, let's hear him out. Yeah. When I saw him put on a make America great again hat. I said, I think this is a symbol of hate. This is scary. But you know what? Let's just let's just hear him out here. Everybody deserves a fourth chance.

Everyone deserves a second chance. But then I heard that he wants to go deaf con three on the Jewish community, the global Jewish community. And Stephen, that's where I wanted to draw a line in the center to say, Kanye, if you cross over this line, you know what's going to happen? We're going to use white phosphorus in a refugee camp in Gaza. No, that's not funny. That's not funny. That's not funny. A lot of stuff in poor taste on this one. Yeah, I'm sorry. Here's what I want to say. I'd like to talk to him. I'd like to swatch the beef. I'd like to use this show in this platform as a place where we have a diversity of voices that are celebrated. And I'd like to invite him on my show to talk to me to talk to Nick, who I'm sure will be an impartial median.

I should I should get into debate moderation. We should have you debate people on the show. I think I think that'd be not a bad idea. Yeah. Yeah. As I say, so Kanye, you said that you can't be anti-Semitic because black people are also Jews. But you're also saying all these bad things about the Jews. Are you saying that black people are bad also? As an impartial third here. It's kind of confusing. I guess what I'm my takeaway from this entire debate is to mean that both blacks and Jews are bad if I understand you correctly. What if we got rid of all the identity in all the no, you can't do that in a Dr. Sue sort of way. Yeah. And we're all just kind of like, you know, out here and we're all out here out here out here and doing our thing. Yeah. I'm out here.

Yeah. I'm out here. And we're just we're just hanging banging and having fun together. Yeah. Kumbaya. Yeah. Not happening. Well, yeah, I think I think that's a great idea. You know, and I would like this show to transcend race. I'd like when people come in and walk in this studio for them to check their race at the door. Yeah. Okay. Not just race, though. That's the point. Not just race. No, just race. Just race. No, and gender. I'd like us all to be maybe put on full skin suits. Or like, yeah, like what Kanye West has been wearing at Fashion Weeks and stuff like that, like those black stockings. Nick and I have been keeping up to date on that. We know what you're talking about. Yeah, I'm completely lost. I was sitting here wondering if I was having

a stroke because there were words coming out of your mouth. But I didn't know where I was going. I kind of started on that. I was trying to kind of hoping that I just quietly retired into thinking about soundproofing options from the side of the room. What do you think we're going to do? I think maybe we'll just like egg crate up on these walls. Yeah. Because this is that echo is significant. No, but I think also when this comes down, this will absorb a little bit. Oh, that's your opinion. Yeah, that's my professional. You know, he's entitled to his opinion. I'm trying to talk really close to the microphone to like limit it. Yeah, no, this is how we limit what? The echo. Oh, no, it's honestly. No, the microphones don't pick up. Look, the podcast is dying. The podcast

isn't going to be a thing for much longer. Thanks for having me on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're here to kill it. These are the last days of the meeting. Very soon, very soon, this will be. I tell you, I was so honored when I got the call. I tried to play cool, but we are so honored just maybe potentially. I thought you said you're too damaged in your personal life, potentially a single week away from the debut of the Adam Friedlitz. Well, yeah, by Monday, this will be done. Like everything's done. No, that's not true. Then we need who's going to be. Then there's then there's this. What? No, then we need sound. Yes, we do need sound. Yes, I know I was coming to a production lead three or four weeks away from the premiere. Fine, the folks again, folks

at home, folks at home, you got to wait it out. You got to wait it out because what they have in store for you is special. Also go buy tickets for Nick's upcoming show in Phoenix, Phoenix, Arizona and folks in Minneapolis. Come on, come on out. I know you're your native son of Minneapolis. From there. You got to come out and support Nick Minneapolis, very lazy name for a city. Why? Indianapolis, same thing. Right. It's Indiana and this is Indiana, Papalus. It's Greek. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, it means Indiana City. Texas has a Texas city, which is probably even lazy or early named. That's a good name. That's a good word. Texas City, Texas. Well, I guess Oklahoma's got an Oklahoma. New York and New York is like that.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's go through some of the capitals, state capitals. That's always like Sacramento, California. Watch Adam go. Carson City, Nevada. You got Phoenix, Arizona. Washington. Washington is Olympia. Okay. Nevada. Carson City, I just said it. Okay. All right. Sorry. Let's go. Delaware. Dover. Okay. What are some other states, Stephen? I can't think of a single one. Delaware. You said Delaware. Dover. Dover. Rhode Island. Rhode Island. Providence. West Virginia. Charleston. West Rhode Island. No, West Virginia is... Could you believe it? I'd rather be talking to Joseph Balls at the bar right now. Yeah. It's Joshua Balls. Yeah. Well, we're finding... How many fucking times? We're trying to find the Adam's voice.

You know? He's picking his nose. You pick your nose so often. Yeah. And then he either wipes it. You asked me how many times a day. It would be better if he just ate it. He just picks his nose and then he's always wiping it on his pants. He's at my house. He's picking his nose. I go, how often do you do that? He goes all day. And I go, what do you do with it? And he's like, either wiping on his pants or eating it. I'm like, how old are you? What? It's just not a normal thing. Yeah. But you know what isn't normal is being honest. Okay. And at the end of the day, I'm going to do that with my friends. Okay. Showers three to four times a week and picks his nose all day every day. Yeah. Because I don't have the shower to clean my nose.

Because I forget. His finger right now is just like, held up. It's ready to go. What have you gotten there? In what? My nose? Yeah. What have you gotten yours? Quite a bit. Yeah, me too. Why is it that the bigger they are, Steven, you know, in combo with me, you got a big nose. You know, that's a catchphrase of the guy over Chick-fil-A says the bigger they are, the Joseph the balls. The Joseph the balls. People ask me how I own the how I've managed to buy my own chip. They are the Joseph the balls. I can't, I can't. He said, Joseph or Jack? The bigger the nose? What are you saying? It's kind of oftentimes the harder to breathe. People with these damn small noses seem like

they're breathing great. Is that wrong? Or is that right? Well, this is the only nose I have and no, this is all I know. How is it breathing up there with that thing? Pretty good. Yeah. You have a bigger nose than Adam does. I got a big. He's got a bigger nose than my father does. I got a big fucking nose. Yeah. I took a picture of the two of them. Would you ever get it bigger? I used to think my dad had the biggest nose of all time. Surgery bigger. Yeah. I broke it multiple times. How? Just being me wouldn't. And one time I was, it was very young and a larger kid jumped off the playground and fell right on my nose and busted. Damn. It was a fat kid. I didn't want to say it

that way. Oh, you didn't want to say fat. That's a good, that's what happens with cartoon character. After he's hurt you, you still don't want to call him. You got a phone call before him. And it said, ham likely. And then a fat kid. But yeah, I get it bigger. I get it. I get anything on me enlarged. Really? Yeah. Of course. I'll tell you what I ask. Right now, one, probably would have to be the size of a, like an exercise ball, lobster claw, elbow down, yeah, giant, yeah, red claw. You want a lobster claw for a hand? Yeah. Why? Because I don't know how to talk to women. Imagine if that woman saw me waiting for the train at a giant lobster claw. She'd start, that's a conversation stone. Yeah. You know how to talk to women. I've seen you talk

to women before. Is that she'd be like, are you like a lobster man? I'll be like, well, yes, actually, I am. So you'd have one hand. It's funny that you asked. I am in fact a lobster man. What are you doing later? I'd like to go out with you. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully not the red lobster. I love lobster. Yeah. And then I just start pinching her. She says no, then I just chase her around the train station pinching her. She can't get away. It's a giant claw. Nick running around the subway harassing women by pinching their ass with a lobster claw. It isn't me. That's a meat. Cute. Yeah. But you're only pinching her because you have a crush on her. Like in kindergarten. Anything goes if you have a crush on somebody. Yeah, you can do

anything. Yeah, true. You can call them and be like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna murder you. I pitched the idea numerous times saying that I wanted antlers on my head. And you tell other men that and they're like, why? And it looks like you have any idea how much pussy you'd get if you had fucking antlers on your head. And anytime you tell a woman that, you know, like, what if I had antlers, they're like, Oh, shit. They get wet. Yeah, totally. So you really do know what girls want. They want a guy who has antlers. You could hold on to them. You act like you don't understand women at all. I just said I don't know how to talk them, but I don't know how to talk to anybody. That's true. Um, but what would you, how would you sleep in a bed, though, if you had these massive

antlers? Well, I would put the lobster claw under my head and use that as a pillow. Well, first, you would be. The lobster claw is hard. So the antlers wouldn't fuck up the headboard. Yeah, it's not bad. That's not bad. Yeah. Just going to just going to meet that bitch's family. They're like, so what do you do? I'm like, I got antlers and a lobster claw. They're like, oh, okay. Yeah, I'm gonna be like, yeah, we're not on the train. I pinched her. Yeah, you might be hard to sleep. It might be hard to sleep with all the women in the bed with you. That's true. There'd be so many of them. There wouldn't be room for the antlers and the claw. And then the next move, bottom half of my body, bottom half of my body removed, replaced with the bottom of a spider.

Oh, like a Wild Wild West. Yeah, but that's, that's just, that's a big steam thing. I mean, like just, oh, you wouldn't want it to be as a steampunk. You don't want to be like a centaur, but spider legs. Oh, you'd want it to be more like, like fuzzy, like a tarantula. See that one, that one's for the fellas. That one's for the fellas because we all, because we all love the movie Wild Wild West. Because women are always like, yeah, a guy with antlers and lobster claw, that's, that's cool. But the spider leg guys, I can't, I can't with them. Yeah, they're toxic. Yeah. There'd be a toxic trait. Yeah, you can, you can stink. No, Adam, I don't want to get too far away from it before following up. How was the peach milkshake? It was really good. Let me tell

you something, Stephen. It's got chunks of real peach in it. Really? Delicious. And you know what, Chick-fil-A still, still, they, they never skip a beat. They still finish it off with the classic whipped cream and the maraschino cherry. Did you, can we talk about super spesiosa for a second? I think we can. And can you pull that up? Talk about super spesiosa. I'm going to piss again. I have to do the same, but no. We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll later. Yeah. We'll daisy chain it. Actually, I think, I think Stephen is the perfect person to talk about super spesiosa with. Stephen, do you know what there's a, there's an item. It comes from Southeast Asia and it is naturally engineered by nature, made by nature and perfected by super spesiosa. Okay. And this

product is called Pure Kratom. Yeah. Do you know about this product? I've heard of it. Yeah. Have you ever, do you have any experience with this product? I've never done it, but I've heard about it. What are you talking about? I've heard. One time you gave me Kratom after a night of getting fucked up. No. And I threw a black. I have had a friend do it before. I've heard of somebody doing it black. He got so sick. My throat was black. He got so sick. It was disgusting. He had to walk home like quite, you know, like from the city to like South Brooklyn, because he couldn't get on the train. Was it Hunter? No. He always throws up on the street. No, but keep reading. I don't think that's a good sell for your, you know, we got to thank them for

giving you money. Stephen, they like it when we talk about our experiences with these products. Well, in that case, so you threw up and it was black. Yeah. But it wasn't super specialist. And that's why I threw up because it probably wasn't lab tested. It probably wasn't the safety, whatever. My recommendation policies of the Super Specialist Corporation were not at play. And therefore that's why I threw up black because here's the thing. Why is it super? Because they do things right. Okay. Since 2016, they've been perfecting certifiably reliable ways to bring you cratum as it was intended, unaltered, untouched, uncompromised. They have green Mayong Da cratum powder. He gives you the hard ones, doesn't he?

They have red Mayong Da cratum powder, which is more of an afternoon body and mind. Green Mayong, more of an all day energy. They're marketing it as an energy product. Does that make sense to you, Stephen? I would highly recommend not doing too much of that. Yeah. Just a little dab will do you. Stephen, have you ever done white Mayong Da cratum capsules? No, I really don't know what that is. It's more of a morning energy, they say. They have signature reserve cratum powder. Do you know what that is? What would happen if I took that? That is nature's power up according to the super special. So and that's all day energy. I just realized they haven't paid us in probably a year.

He's just like, why are we doing this? He's like, making you list those. I have an invoice and I completely forgot about it. Well, you gotta, we gotta get our money, baby. They probably owe us a hundred million dollars. Oh my God. Yeah. So we're gonna be rich. We're gonna be rich. Have you ever seen a guy? At first I was mad at you and then I realized we're going to be rich because they owe us interest. Oh my God. They're probably, their company's probably out of business. With interest? Yeah. We are, we could, we don't even have to do the podcast anymore. Yeah, but I don't, we're, we don't have to do the podcast anymore. A couple weeks,

we're gonna have the Adam Freeland. There's gonna be no more podcast. Ideally. In podcast, we're referring to just the audio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, maybe we'll release the audio of the talk show, but why just to audio? What's that? Why just to audio? We want to encourage people to move. Yeah, you want to just, you want to move up. Podcasting is dead. It's a dead art. We started it and we're killing it. Yeah. I want to sit here. No one's podcasted before us. I want to sit here in this chair and we have Sandra Bernhardt sitting where you are. She got mad at me on Twitter once. Yeah. And Adam says, so Sandra, tell us about your pussy. Tell us about your pussy.

And then we, and then the hard zoom and the Sandra's face as close as you can. She's disgusted by me. It's just the expression, you know. She's like, what does that mean? Or like your vagina. Tell us about it. What is that? What do you mean? What does it mean? What does that mean? We know what that means. I feel like you guys are bullying me. Prepare for me to respond to a fake answer. Yeah. And that's why I got this guy here, Nick. He's the enforcer. Yeah. Yeah. What's that music? The wedding shop is having a champagne party. I saw them. They're going, I might go, I'm gonna pop over there. You want to go? That sounds fun. You want to go to the wedding dress party? It does sound kind of nice.

I am feeling better than I was after my nap. Anyway, guys, as Kratom gains popularity, more vendors are providing Kratom products of varying quality. Find out about good manufacturing practices and all the importance of quality standards at their website. That's what you can do. So you can shop by category. That's kind of stuff. We need to button up the ship. We need to batten down the hatches on those kind of slips. It's called Kratagory because it's Kratom categories. You're pretending to do that on purpose. We got Adam signing up for Elocution Lessons. Yeah. I'm going to the same guy. Next time you see this guy, he's going to have a British accent. I'm going to go to the same guy they got for the King's Speech. Remember

that movie? The King's Peach. That's what they call Joseph Balls. The bigger they are, the Joseph Balls. It's a Joshua. You really crushed it with that story. That was the best story I've ever heard. Joshua Balls. The peach milkshake story. I had to get one of those peach milkshakes. They're fantastic. Okay, guys, you shop by category. Okay. They got capsules. They got powders. They got tablets. They got they got tea bags. They got trusted quality and they have a certification from the some sort of Kratom organization where that's Stephen. You sit on the board of that organization. That's not true. Chairman of the board. They call him the chairman of the board. And the other guy we mentioned earlier. They subject their products to the strictest quality

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in the strains. Much like marijuana, the strains do different things for you. You know, you get a sativa. You get an indica. Some of these chill you out. Some of these perk you up. So go check it out. That party, the wedding dress party, sounds fun. Whatever happened to just, you know, enjoying whatever, you know, mood you're in. Why do you need the... Why do we need these substances? Yeah, I don't understand. Why do you get it all fricked up on Guinness? Let me make this clear. With a 65-year-old man with a woman's hair cut. Let me make this clear. Before we move on from this ad, you absolutely need these substances.

The idea of enjoying your own emotions is a thing of the past. You live in a hyper-mediated world. The only way to navigate it is by consuming massive amounts of weird Southeast Asian drugs that brave men are bringing to market. So go to superspeciosa.com or superogx or getsuperleague.com. No, it's superspeciosa.com. They actually got the URL that they should have gotten, I think, when we first started working. So check that out. Get a little taste of the fun times. Of Cambodian. You're just basically just eating Agent Orange, I'm pretty sure. Agent Orange, that'll be a fun parody movie. You know what I mean? And he's like, he's like, oh, Dr. No, why would you do this to me? We are the same.

And he's like, I'm sorry, Agent Orange. What did I do to you? Yeah, I'm sorry, Agent Orange, but you work for the British government. But I don't know how I got the job. Why else they should get a guy like that? He's like James Bond, but he's Orange. But I thought they were different colors. What color do you think they were? Skin color? Good answer. That's the kind of shit we're going to say to Sandra Bernhardt when she starts getting a little racist. Yeah, it would be like, what color do you think Asians are? Sandra, you were in the film King of Comedy. Have you ever

fucked an Asian man? Yeah, I'm a lesbian. I'd actually be curious to know the answer to that. Is she going to be the first guest on the video show? Let's even stop giving all the surprises away. You already told them that we have a beautiful set. I think Adam got me sick two times in the last three days. I feel sick. You were sick before me. No, I wasn't. Yes, you were. No. Why do we keep getting sick? Do we have black mold in the studio? I know. I think you keep getting sick and then you get me sick. Why? From what? I have an incredibly clean lifestyle. I picked my nose a hundred times a day. Well, I don't know. Stephen, you recently saw Avatar in IMAX. I did. How was that? It's one of the greatest

experiences you can have. Really? I've seen the 3D IMAX Avatar. Yeah, I think. What happens to all the glasses? That's what I want to know. If you put them in a big dumpster, and then where do they go? Do they send them to Africa? No, I think they wash them. What do they do? Send these to Africa? And they give it to the kids down there. I think they do. So they can better see the lions coming after them. I think they do. Yeah, I'm starting a charity where we get all the 3D glasses and we give them down there to Africa and they put them on and you don't have to worry about the lions. Yeah, it's like because you can see them. Because you can see them better. Yeah, I'm the CEO of Tom Shoes. My name is Joseph

Balls. Yeah, my name is Jeffrey Balls and I've done come up with the Chick-fil-A peach milkshake and Tom Shoes. I was wearing my socks around my apartment. I said, why the fuck can't I just go out like this? And then I did it and I was like, you know, somebody was like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm saving African kids from the fucking, from the dark nature is what I'm doing. And they're like, what's your name? I panicked and I said Tom. Tom Balls. Because I thought I was going to jail. And so that was the name of the shoes from that point was Tom's. And are you sending an email? Now I make milkshakes. No, I just found this guy. I just found this guy. Let me see a picture of Joseph Balls. How did you get his name? It's on the receipt. It was on the receipt.

Oh, let's see. He's a power player under 40. He's doing great this guy. When you first said it, I was like, there's no doubt in my mind this guy makes more money than me. Oh, this guy's doing great. Mrs. Balls. Yeah, to own a Chick-fil-A in Manhattan, it probably costs a million dollars just to get up and run it. Joshua Balls. It's a great, they do a great job. He's killing it. They got a lot of people working there. Yeah. Joe Josh Balls. If you could start any business in the world, Steven, what would it be? I've thought about that before and I have no interest in like doing that. Yeah, but if you had to, gun to your head, you're going to start a business. Restaurant. Right. Yeah, it would be a restaurant. It would be a restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. It would be

called Stevens. Stevens. Yeah. Stevens. Stevens Restaurant. Steven Apostrophe SSSS. Steven Apostrophe SSSS and then psych. My name's actually Joseph Balls. There is no Steven. Surprised. It's all in the sign. Surprised? Well, if you want more surprises, why don't you come on in? Because instead of food, we're serving child pornography. In the basement. Yeah. Dude, I just found this. How did you know I had that idea? How did you know I wanted to do that? I'm clairvoyant. I don't know if this is the same Josh Balls, but I found another Josh Balls on Instagram and his, his handle is Shred The Nar 247 because he loves extreme sports. He seems like a pretty cool guy. I didn't realize this was

such a common name. What? Josh Balls? What did you come on? How'd you find that David Sperm? David Sperm. Oh, it's just a name. Nick made him up. Yeah. That's a made up character. He made up a name for a gay guy. I'll do that. I'll sit around and I'll just come up with business cards. How long does it take you to come up with one of these, one like David Sperm friends? I played by Wake Up and it's the first thought in my head. A guy, a real estate agent named David Sperm and Sperm is spelled S-P-I-R-M. Yeah. It's always good. It's like good afternoon. My name's David Sperm. I'm a partner here at Corcoran. Yeah. I did $950,000 in sales last year. That's not that much. I did nine commissions. Sorry. Commission is pretty good. Yeah.

Don't get hung up on the money, Adam. Well, that's not even one apartment in New York City. We got things. We got the prices of these places these days. Yeah. We're now entering the real estate corner. That's how we like to close out the show. There's a lot of people in the finance world that's super good at this. I learned that. I learned that the hard way. Well, we were at that bar. Yeah. That guy was, don't, well, he said he's not caught up on the show. He's not listening. You can talk. You can talk. We're not gonna like say his name. What happened? Well, he was a real asshole. Just anytime I go, anytime I go to any bar with Adam, guys buy us drinks. Yeah. Yeah. Guys buy us drinks. Yeah. And we went to a bar the other night and a guy bought us drinks.

Remember when we met Shannon Doherty at a bar? Me and you? Yeah. Yeah. Did that happen? I don't think so. But I wish it did. Yeah. That's that's what I was thinking. Yeah. I had a wish. It was a thing I was wishing that would happen. She's, she's, um, I'm sorry, she's still Shannon Blower me. There you go. Is she still sexy? I didn't. Did she die? She might have died. Did she die? Shannon Doherty? She got cancer. What about Tori Spell? Let's talk about Tori instead. Yeah. What if her name was Tori Balls? Everything about that? And she owned the Chick-fil-A. And Adam came in there. And Tori Spelling, her breasts were far apart. These low energy shows like this where nothing is hitting. Like, and a podcast format, it feels bad. But when this is

like a, when we have this set done, and this is just some bizarre, we only upload the show. Some if I could figure out a way that YouTube settings or this show is only available in between 2.45 a.m. and 3.30 in the morning. So it's live. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You can only watch it. I'll upload it. It's like red eye. Yeah. I'll upload it for those hours. And it's just, it's the three of us. We smoke cigarettes in here. We fuck it. It'll be like public access. It'll be nice. That's when this show hits its stride. Steven, she's alive. Okay, good. That's very good to hear. Who were you thinking of? I was thinking, I think she was sick though. But anyways, Adam, you're on your phone more than you're on the show. I just want to see if this bitch was

alive, but it does look like she's not well. I think she's just Irish. This guy's been looking at his phone. No, she looks good still, dude. She looks good. You just said she looks sick. The last picture, she looks like show the class, Adam. Let me see the picture. She looks pretty. Do you get the iPhone 14? I got the 14 plus brother. What's that for? He said he got he's like I'm getting the iPhone 14 in case we decide to shoot on location. Yeah, those are his words. I'm always ready with 4k. In case we need to shoot on location. I'm getting the iPhone. No, I said I got one terabyte hard drive purple edition. No, I don't even have the purple one. No, maybe she does look like she put it down for two seconds. Maybe she doesn't like shit. No,

I'm not going to comment on that. I feel bad about what I said about Tori's breasts. I was trying to. Oh, nobody heard that. No one heard it now. And everyone was thinking it's Steven. And that's what people like about you. I imagine she just has giant nipples. She's completely flat chested, but the nipple comes out. Yeah, the nipple is just her entire breath. Yeah, it's like a big, it looks like a tuna can. No, this wasn't a low energy show. This was this is a good show to like, you know, you're working out the gym. You put this on on the headphones. Yeah, no, I'm telling you a very sleepy late night show. Yeah. And then if we could, you know, like we want to get the basically the stars of New York municipal bureaucracy on here

every episode with like a burrow presidents, burrow presidents, Mark Levine. Yeah, we get Mark Levine on here and we say Chinese New Year this year. What do you got planned? Yeah, what's coming up? Yeah. What do you think? How is Chinese New Year going to bounce back from Corona? Because this has got to be the year you've got to make it happen. I've noticed that there's an intersection. What the hell is going on with the Javits Center? It's sitting there vacant 90% of the time. Yeah, that could be used for homeless people. And speaking of homeless people, why don't we just kill them? Mm hmm. Mark, everything's on a good till that last part. Yeah, Mark, who's your least favorite homeless person in New York City? Mark Levine Kanye says Jews are bad 15 seconds.

Am I Mark? Yeah, I don't even know that. Time's up. Tony Blankley, the Jews go to bad. They're bad. They're bad. They're bad. In this industry, we have to watch what we say. We have to, you know, be out there for. No, that's not the truth. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Why do you say that? Because we've really gone there. Okay, and that has only made us stronger. I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about Mark. Oh, yeah. Mark has. Oh, they don't call it an industry, though. What is it? They say in public service, in my service, in my service. Yeah, they wouldn't call like, the president wouldn't be like, I'm in the presidential industry. No, honestly, if we could turn the political industry, if you don't say that, no, if we could turn the show business, baby, that's the show business.

That's the industry, baby. If we could turn the Adam Freeland show into an extremely boring 3am talk show about New York City municipal squabbles. Yeah. That would be a dream come true for me. Second only to lobster claw. What about Steve's restaurant? That's your dream. I know. I thought you were kind of into it, too. I mean, I'll be an angel investor. Of course. With the, you know, with the, with the child pornography. How about a guy that sells himself as an angel investor? And then, you know, somebody like, they comes and do the pitch and they're like, yeah, it's like a B2B network site. And I put everything into it. And he's like, we're going to set you up. We're going to set you up, brother. You know, and he's like, okay, great. Can I have the money? He's like, money. No, I'm just

going to pray for you, cousin. I'm going to be an angel. I was, see me personally, I was confused. I got, I got on the wrong flight. I've been in San Francisco for 22 years. I don't have the money to get home to Detroit. And I heard angel investors. And so this bit is, I saw that move. I pray for people. Why is he, why is he talk that way? Because that, because sometimes that's just the way he talks. Yeah. Why is he talking that way? He's a black guy. No, let's, let's be honest. I'll be honest with you. I had a stroke 15 years ago. And I came out black. My parents are from Vietnam. Mm hmm. But I sound like this. My name is David train. My name is David sperm. I'm a Vietnamese man that had a stroke and talks like this. And I'm an angel investor in San Francisco. Yeah,

I was the first one to invest in Joshua Balls. Mm hmm. And now he's the owner of a Chick-fil-A franchise. Beautiful callback smooth. I laid it up and I'm fucking, I put it, you know, Adam pick your nose one more time before the show's over. Don't put me on the screen. And then what are we doing? Are we going to watch officer and a gentleman? Yeah, that's a great movie. Because I got no place else to go. That's like, you know that place? You ever see primal fear? When I was younger. What a, what a shitty movie. Yeah, I bet I would like Richard gear a lot. He's in that, right? Mm hmm. Yeah, I love Richard gear. Yeah, about Richard gear, but it's a G E A R. And he's a robot. What if it's Richard gear, but it's G E R B I L.

That was nothing. It's the way that Nick said it. It was funny. And he's a robot. You got to raise your eyes. You say the dumbest thing. You got to say it. Raise your eyes. And then do a little. You got to be proud of yourself. You got a side eye a little bit like this. You got to go. Steven, so leaving this, you have more or less respect for what we do for a living? Absolutely more. Okay. This is just so fun. Yeah. You've done great this. I think you've been great. Yeah. What do you mean this? I'm ashamed the cameras aren't on because you look so sharp today. Really? That means a lot of haircuts. We'll have you come out here. We'll have you back on when the video starts. People got to get people got to get a better vision. They got to drink you in.

No, you'll be you'll be a big part of the show. Look, like I said, technically, we could get started next week. But until I got to find a doctor that's going to do this fucking lobster claw thing. So we don't want to be on camera until that happens. We need light. The lights can be done immediately. There's three different light shops in within a couple blocks. Yes, great being in this. You guys are right right in the thick of it. You're right in the center of it all. Yeah. Right in the thick of it. No, but really, I appreciate you guys having me on. I hope it went all right. And you appreciate our sponsors. Let's put it this way. This has been the episode that we did right after the old show ended. Yes, I would just burn all the equipment.

You know, I've killed myself. So you're saying it went for how bad the podcast element of this show has been? Yes. Unless we prepare stuff. This is right on par. This is about par is good and golf. No, we also got here early today. We're like, let's let's do the podcast early. So it's not late. I was so energetic when I first got here. And now I just really have to go to the bathroom. Adam wanted to take a nap. And Adam took a nap. I haven't been feeling well. Yeah. So you want to sleep and then, you know, but folks, no, we don't have to make any more excuses or make excuses. And I'm not apologizing. I had great time today. And I wish I could have had that, but you know, you can't get that. I had a great time today. That's what I like. And I'm not sick. And I didn't

have dinner last night with an 85 year old grandfather of my girlfriend. You sound better now. I was tired. What's that movie where Sean Connery plays a dragon? Hmm. Dragon Heart. Dragon Heart. Dragon Heart. Never. Mickey Rourke. Is he in that? No, he's a that's a different heart. Yeah, that's a what's the I don't remember. You're you're thinking of You're the Dragon. Well, he's in. Oh, yeah. And I think he's in a heart movie, too. I've got a terrible memory. And I don't want to part of the penis with Mickey. Yeah, my penis is hard in it. I got this disease where my penis is a hard in it. So

I'm fucking I gotta get a bunch of plastic surgery. I got the most sensitive heart. Peanut heart of the penis, heart of the penis. All right, folks. Hope you had a good time today. Yeah, thanks, Phoenix, Minneapolis.