The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. XXY – Rosebud Baker

Episode Date: August 18, 2022

Hittin a quick audio one for this week while some more work is done on the studio. Check out patreon.com/tafs for premium content / help us fund this operation were trying to get off the ground here.

Can you stop me and get off the bus? No, I can't. It's not worth it. You just got off the bus. Go on. You got off the bus. Go on. You just got off the bus.

Go on. You just got off the bus. You just got off the bus. Go on. Go on. Go on. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Adam Freeland show, the Wednesday episode, audio only.

Special guest today, Rosebud Baker. Welcome to the show. Hey, thanks so much. Thanks. It's great to be here from Mad TV. Yeah. She's one of the writers with, who's it, it's you, Pat Nozwald, Pablo Francisco, and Ken Jong.

Yeah. Dr. Ken. Dr. Ken. Dr. Ken. I love that, that whole, that guy's interesting stories are like, yeah, he's Asian, but he went to Duke. Isn't that crazy? He somehow escaped his Asian family and rose above, climbed out of...

He went to White Boy School. Yeah. Well, he was like a comic view guy though, right? Like, before he popped off, he would be like on like... Is Duke a White Boy School? I think so. Yeah. I'm thinking of MIT.

Duke is, yeah. Yeah. I went to Emerson. I don't fucking know. Oh, nice. Yeah. Nice. Did you major in podcasting or that happened after you left?

I think that happened after I left. I think you can do that there. Yeah. MIT, but it's MITV. Like, but M-A-D. You like Mad TV? Yeah. Yeah.

MIT is the Mad TV school. That'd be really good. It's just sketches about math. Yeah. No, like Miss Swan is one of the regents of the university. Yeah. I hate that. Yeah.

She's like, he looked like a man. Maybe you can pitch that when you're back on Mad TV. Maybe you can pitch that. Yeah. Yeah. Mad TV. Okay. Great idea.

Who's the head writer now over there? Steve Bannon. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Steve. He's everywhere.

He's got his fingers in a couple different bowls. And a couple different holes. And bowls and holes. Make sure that, I didn't check the levels before we did, it's a little cavernous in here so it's hard to tell. Yeah, no. I mean, it seems like you guys are... So what do you think, huh?

The studio. Yeah. I mean, it feels like you guys are in the process in the middle of stuff. Definitely. Let's not worry too much. I'm spearheading it. I didn't mean to say what do you think. Once it's done, then we're going to wow them.

But for now, we're just going to have to accept that there might be a little bit of an echo. Okay. And what's the end goal? The greatest television show that anyone's ever seen. To make like SNL Part 2. Mad TV meets Anderson Cooper 360. That's basically the pitch. But on steroids and crack at the same time.

And yeah. Okay. So that's the whole pitch is just that. Just imagine. That's that log line. What if Mad TV was a gay Vanderbilt? Okay. The show is just imagine, close your eyes.

As funny as Mad TV, but as informative and gay as Anderson Cooper. Oh my God. There's a man. Imagine Cooper, right? 5 a.m. South Beach Miami. You're watching Michael McDonald pretend to be a mentally retarded boy, but at the same time you're learning about Lebanon.

So you have Anderson Cooper just in like suspenders and a weird cap. He's going to be like smoking methamphetamine, having sex with muscular men. And then he'll look at the camera and he'll say he looked like a man. Yeah. He'll say, he'll say, look what I can do. Tonight the leader of Libya, Gaddafi, was killed. Every time I laugh in here, I sound like a ghost. Yeah.

Yeah. Like it sounds like a ghost is laughing back. Yeah. Nick's taking it upon himself to tarry all the wires out of the walls. It's not what I don't, we have to switch the audio until we get a, you know, until the studio is cooking. I think we're going to have to, we'll do what we can with video content. But I'm telling you, this place is going to be, it's going to be looking good.

No, it will. Just trust us. Yeah. No. Yeah. I mean, trust the process. You know, you work in, you know, you work in television. Yeah.

We're colleagues. You see how the, how the, what the sets look like before they fucking finish. Yeah. I mean, I'll be honest. They don't look anything like this, but I, I think this is probably destined for greatness. Yeah. And when you're destined for greatness, as you guys have pitched. You know how, I know it's going to be a good idea.

I like, I've got, you know that feeling again, when you know something's going to be good and you're like not sleeping and you're not eating and you're just thinking about it fucking 24 seven cocaine, go, go, go, go, go, go. Yeah. And I come in here, dude. I just work all day long. That's good. I mean, I'm worried for you and your health, but that's good.

No, it's all right. I'm in the zone, dude. You're going to live forever. Yeah. Yeah. Also, I'm taking, I'm taking one break. I mean, I guess I have to go on the road, but I'm working and then I'll go see, I'm going to go see Kill Switch and Gage at Coney Island and then going right from the concert

back here. Back to the studio. And back to the studio. Much like rappers, when they get out of jail, they go straight to the studio. Rising grinds. There's still time. By the way, I'm in Irvine, California tomorrow through Saturday at the Irvine Improv. If you tried to buy tickets already and you only saw the booths, the club is in the process

of converting those four seat booths tables to just individual tickets. Nice. All the regular ones are sold out, so you can just keep trying, folks. Please come out. Let's just refresh that page. And again, I promise you a good show, I'm bringing Mike Racine, he is, he will crush and then I'm going to do, I'm going to have a dog shit set, but Mike will, Mikey will crush and we're going to, we're going to get his kids some fucking baby food.

Yeah. Yeah. Little Ben. So when you go, when you go and you're like, man, Mullen fucking sucks at comedy. Remember, if you post that online and people don't go to the next show, you're taking food out of Mike Racine's kids mouth. Yeah. So no, the answer isn't, I have to get better at stand up or do the full 45 minutes, I promise

you. No. The answer is you got to keep coming to feed this kid. You got to feed Mike's kid. Yeah. And that's what you have to do when you don't have your own child. Yeah. Mike's too busy at home teaching his kid the ABCs, you know, with to, you know, book his

own shows or have his own career. Yeah. He's got to, he's got to have, he's got to have. You know, a lot of people say the hardest job in the world is fatherhood. Yeah. Yeah. People have said that. Yeah.

You know what it is kind of nice to see the stand ups that we, Mike Racine is sort of the kill switch engaged to my lamb. It's nice to see fatherhood sort of like the men in comedy, their careers taking a hit the way that they're, that they would if they were like a woman working in like the real world. Yeah. At the business center. Yeah.

For business. Enterprise. Yeah. At the business center for enterprise. I work at the business center for thinking. I'm a woman and now I have a baby and I'm, I've lost my job at the business center. For entrepreneurship. Yeah.

Yeah. That was such a funny scam they pulled on women in the 1980s. Oh my God. They're like, guess what? Yeah. You got a job too, bitch. Yeah. I mean, they still pull it.

They're still pulling that shit. You got to put on a boxy suit and get a men's haircut. Yeah. Yeah. But guess what? Now you got to have armpit and leg hair that's incredibly itchy, but you're pussy bear. I don't want to see nothing on it. What the fuck is going on?

Why do women do that? It's insane. I don't know. I stopped doing it in my twenties. Yeah. Cause you're like, I think it's because men, I think they're like, oh, this is like what men like or whatever, and I think that's the women just still do that. It was like a 1990s thing.

Cause you'll be like, I'm a feminist, but then like you have a guy coming over to your house and you're like, I don't want to like embarrass myself. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't want my shit to look nasty. Yeah. But now it's like, I don't want Andy within 20 feet of my pussy. So I'm like, I just make it as difficult as possible to even find it.

It's a rainforest on there. Yeah. I think that I don't have no idea. I don't, I, I've never had armpit hair or leg hair that I can, um, that wasn't. Well, it's fine. If you want to do that, do your dumb thing, but it's like, I don't understand shaving the pussy and leaving the leg and armpit hair. No, I don't either.

I mean, although I think in general, one's easier to shave than the other than the other two. Oh, the pussy is easier to shave. Yeah. I think it's probably easier to shave that than it is to shave your whole leg. It seems complicated. Well, there's only one of them. You know, you've got two armpits, two legs.

Yeah. So in your mind, you're like, what's the bigger hill? Yeah. I just gave you a real autistic answer to that. Just an actual answer. No, it's, it's smart. I'm thinking about it. But then it also made, I was trying to think of the male equivalent and what popped into

my head is the scene from Black Dahlia where, where Josh Hartnett fucks a woman, but they imply the fucking cause it's like either, maybe it's a PG-13 movie or something. Yeah. You don't see the actual fucking. And then they're just in bed after and he's wearing his fedora, like, so it's like, did he take his clothes off and then put the fedora back on and fuck him? That's camp. Yeah.

That's cool. Have you ever been fucked by a guy in a fedora? Not while he was wearing it. No, but he took it off like a gentleman. He took it off. But a big one, like a spy versus spy. I had, I was, I dated a man who was Greek who had a fedora collection that he insisted on around his apartment.

He had fedoras. I love the way, with Greek people, when they have money, it's like this guy could do stuff like that. This is like, this could either be a billionaire or a mentally retarded person. Yeah. He was actually, yeah. I think he was mentally... It's tricky.

Because it could be eccentric billionaire. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Could be. Yeah. You know, I thought I was Greek Chris Angel after I saw his show in Vegas. I don't know. I keep bringing up...

He's got a, he's got a great story about Chris. No, it's not that good. You kept cutting me off. Who's Chris Angel? It would have been good. Wait, tell me who he is. Chris Angel. He did mind freak.

Oh. Real quick, I'm sorry if I cut you off. No, it's fine. It wasn't that good of a story. I didn't realize I had done that. This guy kind of looked like Chris Angel. No, your riffs, his riffs were way better than the story to be honest. Yeah.

He kind of bailed me out on the story. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, don't apologize. What was the Chris Angel riff? Was that? It wasn't a riff. No, I just saw him after his magic show and I said it changed my life and he looked

at me and he said, I know. That's sick. Yeah, it's so pimp. I actually fucking don't like that at all. It makes me want to find Chris Angel and go up to him and be like, dude, oh, can we get a picture? I didn't ask for a picture. And then get him excited and then be like, I can't believe I'm meeting Papa John.

And then just ruin his day. Yeah. Just have him, just watch him completely lose his mind. This guy fucking invented Domino's. Just fucking Papa John, dude. Domino's. You know the fucking Domino's? Yeah.

You're gonna lose it. I also heard a, I went with my sister's boyfriend. He works on the strip. He does like lighting. My family's from Vegas. Yeah. And he told me a magic gossip, but David Copperfield apparently wears a muscle suit under his clothes.

He'll wear like a full like, you know, a suit or something and underneath he wears prosthetic muscles. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me because he's a magician. Yeah. So that doesn't, that's not like a shocking thing to learn about. He's doing deception. Yeah. And that's sort of their thing.

Yeah. I guess so. A friend of mine. A shocking story would be that David Copperfield thinks the magic is real. Yeah. Yeah. That there's another magician that's using, he's like, I'm gonna trick this fucking retard into thinking he's the best magician in the world because that, that retard would,

you know, it's like the original retard or the original magician. He's not a good actor. Right. He's just a genuine artist. Right. So he gets a patsy that he shoves into the foreground, David Copperfield. And he's like, we're gonna, cause this retard. He just Truman shows the entire.

This retard thinks he's the best magician in the world. Yeah. You know. And every day he's more and more shocked by his own skills. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. That is like, that would be shocking to me to hear. Yeah. True art. True art. That's what that would be. True art is deception.

Yeah. Yeah. You think at 35, it's too late for me to learn magic? Yeah. Yeah. Probably. I missed the boat on that one. I don't know.

I mean, maybe, I think 35 is just too late, but 62, it's just on, it's right on time. Oh, like to retire and get into magic? Yeah. I just talked to a magician today, actually. Did you? Yeah. I had to pick up stuff. Like for work.

Uh-huh. And I'm looking for like, like a specific type of LED light. Yeah. So I went, there's a magic shop, right? And I'm like, I'm looking for like this kind of thing. And he's like, well, we don't have that, but we have these and it's like the wrong color. And then he put it into one of his ears and pulled it out the other and it's like, he's

just showing me stuff off the shelf. I was like, oh, because it's a magic store. You can't just show it to me. You can't just show me the thing. Yeah. You got to show me the trick that it does. I've mentioned it before on the show, but one of my best friends growing up became a street magician, mind freak.

And he would perform on the strip. I've heard that. I've heard his name. Yeah. Tommy Georgian. Yeah. Okay. I love him.

He's my dog. But yeah, like I saw him two years ago at my mother's funeral and he like came through. Did you saw the casket in half? No. That would have been good. That would have been good. He cut your mom in half. No, but he was wearing a fedora and then a waistcoat and then like a tie and a shirt.

And I was like, Tommy, did you wear your magic clothes to the funeral? It's just Adam has a mentally disabled cousin. It's just him going up to the magician. He's like, can you bring her back, please? Yeah. I'm not that kind of magician, kid. I'm more of a you kind of magician. I feel like all magicians in general sort of have adopted Johnny Depp style circa 1996,

1998. Yeah. A lot of chance. Crow. Chris Angelus. That's basically Chris Angelus' whole vibe. Yeah. All of them though.

They're all kind of like, they have that same, they're like quiet and nice. And mysterious. You know what I mean? Yeah. And might, might throw a woman around everyone's in a while. Yeah. It's just really not a lot of good aesthetic choices for magicians. You're either that, a goss guy or a libertarian.

Yeah. I want to see one that's just dressed normal, just like cartoon character. David Blaine is kind of like that. He has the best style. David Blaine is just like, he's a guy that doesn't give a shit about. I mean, he's like the best magician in the world. He rocks. And half of his magic is like, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to sit, I'm going to go into

the, one of the Auschwitz ovens and survive. Right. You know, and it's like, is this magic? Yeah. You just dress like you went to Home Depot. Yeah. I was like, I've been inhaling Zyclon B for four and a half hours and I'm not dead. Now I'm going to go into the ovens and then afterwards I'm going to eat one of the trains

that came here. Piece by piece. I'm going to eat one of the Auschwitz trains. I'm going to eat the trains. A lot of magicians. A lot of magicians say that they could be, they could, with magic, a lot of magicians dreams to sit with magic, they could reverse the Holocaust, but I'm actually going to do it.

I'm actually going to do it. By going to the ovens and then eating all of the trains. You know, that pile of shoes at the Holocaust Museum? Yeah. That's going in my bed. And it's just David Blaine just eating metal next to some train tracks and the snow is falling. Just on, on like some, just, just rotten feds and there's just, for some reason there's

like a crew of just Detroit black guys are like, oh shit, oh shit, he eating the motherfucking train. He's just losing their minds. No, your husband, your husband's calling. Oh, Mr. Rosebud. Yeah. Pick up. Okay.

Hello, Andy. Hi, Rosebud. Are you with people? Yes. She's with guys. I'm with guys. Are you at Comtown? No.

No. No. No. No. Idiot. The Adam Friedland shit. Yeah. Fucking, don't dead name us.

Yeah, you just dead named them. The show, the show is trans. The show we trans, this is a transition. This is trans, no. That's why I'm finally doing the show. Yeah. This is, that's me pitching the show to Netflix. I'm like, it's called the Adam Friedland show.

They're like, they're like no interest and I'm like, oh, I'm trans, by the way, just like leaving the room, being like, by the way, I'm trans. They're like, wait, wait, wait, take millions of dollars, please. Andy, can I call you on my way to Maryland? Yeah. I'm just going to the gym, I just checked in. Okay. Love you.

Bye, Andy. Bye. Damn. That's why none of my relationships work. Why? Well, I didn't, I didn't, I don't know that you're supposed to do stuff like that. It's like, I'll talk to you when I see you in four days and I'm in between episodes of all in the family.

Yeah. You walk into my apartment. I'm supposed to do a good night call. I've gotten better at that. Yeah, sleep well. Never do it. Never do a good night call. You have to do that.

I don't, I don't do that. What I do is, I, I, I never do that and then a woman cries and I say, you have borderline personality disorder. Yeah. You're mentally ill. But I don't think you're, I don't think you are mentally ill. Listen, I don't think. Go to the doctor.

I don't think you're entirely off about that. I feel like if you have to talk all the time, it's like, if you want to last, you can't talk all the time. No, that's true. You got to be like, um, let's just, you know, that was like, I was trying to be courteous and wrap it up. But like, squirtiest, squirtiest, squirtiest, squirtiest. You ever been with a squirtiest?

You ever been with a squirtiest? You ever been with a squirtiest? You ever been with a squirtiest? Is from The Matrix? Yeah. S-Squarfiest? Squirtiest. Squarfiest.

Squarfiest. Morpheus, but he squirts. No. Yeah. It's like, what if I told you, you think that's Pee? You take one pill and you just- What if I told you, it's- You think that's just-

It's not Pee. What if I told you I could blast all over your bed and then he goes he goes backwards when it goes back like this whole body bends in half yeah bitches really do be ruining stuff with the squirting yeah yes they you guys have you guys ever been squirted on has it ever happened to you yeah I'm a fucking gentleman I don't talk about that's never was supposed to go excuse me and then walks in the other room to go squirt into the toilet pardon me for a second well you know I mean sometimes certain angles it wouldn't happen on

top of you yeah I girls squirt so much that I sleep in a rubber sheets like a mental hospital right because of the mess because all this right because of the squirting because too much squirting when the women come over and they go what's with the wax sheets you go it's because of all the squirting yeah they just they fall for that yeah yeah it's squeegee down the bed yeah yeah and then I send them home in an uber pool what I do is I put I put I put the one of those little like sponge dinosaurs on the bed first yeah nice and then you fuck until they just squirt way too much and then you ride off on a giant dinosaur that's

cool that's actually magic those things blew my mind you got you got speakers playing the Jurassic Park theme you're like oh sorry I guess this is your first time having sex bitch I guess you've never fucked I guess you've never yeah just this schizophrenic version of the crowd work guy you're been with a guy that fucking gives a little dinos makes a big dinosaur and the theme song plays we were like what's happening to this guy she's like no I haven't I used to be a magician she falls for it though immediately I don't know I've never there's quite a few women that I know that have fucked magicians and I I feel like they

they pull I feel like women because it's like a version of pickup artistry right I guess it's like doing tricks I guess so yeah I mean it's I think it's just like a little bit sadder than fucking a comic I think it's maybe I would say it's still worse to fuck a comic really no do you think so I mean it depends which comment I guess so yeah there's some hot guy you got a hot guy comic I got a good one you got a hot one yeah I got a good one he's got a strong jaw yeah he's got a nice face he's very Caucasian handsome in like a he really looks like he's great at skiing like a bust that someone made of some kind of Emperor

yeah it's true you know it's really true today's 817 correct I believe so all right cool why I'm sure remember what reads we have this week man I really did not book reads for the summer well business slows down the summer yeah we're talking about Andy's jaw and talking about how he just looks like a statue that somebody made it looks tyrant well he looks like Roman times yeah he looks like the like just the pictures of like the not the Waffen SS but maybe the like here just the regular German army like propaganda photos right and like like yeah some of them are Aryan but they're friendly yeah rather than the Nazis or

like these guys are hardcore you think Andy's got a friendly face I think he well compared to a Waffen SS yeah he's not as bad as an SS man well that's I mean yeah you start nice you start the bar down here yeah you start off at fucking at at Auschwitz guard the guy who's like I want to pull the switch that guy you start there yeah take a step back so when people say that gives that guy a nice warm why does your husband look so miserable I can be like picture a Waffen SS guy yeah how does he look now like a nice neighbor and he looks like like the physical manifestation of do you know who my

father is yes yeah that's kind of what that's kind of what he looks like dude we got pulled over by Hitler by the way my dad is Hitler you imagine that's got to be that that has to because there's had to have existed entitled Nazi yeah for sure in the Nazi world the guy that's like even the other Nazis are like oh this guy is such a fucking yeah he's such a fucking piece of shit we had he's so rude the way he's fucking just such a piece she's a nepotism Nazi yeah well I feel like and it's scooter gerbils I was just gonna do the thing where I explain a joke thinking it's funny that way no we like that let me get a I'm

gonna get out my nicotine lozenges oh nice because I'm on day five of no vaping oh nice vaping is so hard to quit fucking impossible you know much cocaine I had to do to stop vaping a lot and then and then to quit the cocaine I had to get monkeypox yeah I feel like using cocaine to quit vaping is sort of counterintuitive I feel like nothing could make me want to vape yeah you really want nicotine yeah no it's great because I smoked for like 10 years and then I quit and then in the last like you know decade of my life I can no problem I can have one cigarette like a month yeah it's not an issue yeah I keep

trying to do that no yeah I can do that and then and then I got into vaping last fall after always thinking it was disgusting like they just seem like it sucked to me and then those dying I got into those diamond air bars and then it was like I was going through like two of those a day yeah I was just vaping constantly yeah that's where I was at I think it really fucked me up in the short term I think I'm fine yeah my resting heart rate went through the fucking roof dude same yeah same and I was like it was like I was constantly fighting off a virus or something my body just and even now like I had to

quit cuz I got the flu so I was like let me just quit vaping now so I did it but it's I it fucking hurts your head and like the second you feel better you're like oh let's fucking hit a vape like I love it I love it so much yeah never want to quit yeah I fucking have no I see him cuz he's doing it it's such a wack look maybe I'll maybe I'll vape I don't give a fuck how it looks it feels so good it feels good but it looks so stupid yeah you really got it like if you really want to like quit everything you and you're fucking addictive personality you got to replace it with like boxing or something I know you got

to like had you got to just be able to like just smack maybe there should be a place you could go there should be something can break yeah you know I mean there is a place I know there's a place where you could break things like you know and 300 years ago like a guy like me a guy with money of me I would be able to just go into town find an orphan child and just snap his arm yeah under the wheel of my carriage yeah and that would be like that would be like having a couple of drags yeah I mean like a Nicarat having a little nightcap just bludgeoning a peasant just tie yeah exactly tying tying a malnourished boy

to a wagon wheel and shattering his limbs right and I'll be like okay back to work and then I would go see a different boy slave and make him play piano for me or snatching snatching my job slave snatching someone's pet out of the street yeah sort of snapping it in half powering powdering my face and making a making a boy play piano beautifully for me yeah because you didn't have an iPod back in the day you had to have a child boy whore I feel like Chopin today yeah bring me a virtuoso boy to play for me and then afterwards I will have make love to him as if you were a woman boy it's boy come

in here right there for years the society was like that's the way it's supposed to be there's a gay there's just how things are there's a mentally there's a mercury poisoned Queenie pedophile that makes a boy prostitute play piano for him and then he goes into town and breaks and orphans live he's wearing women's makeup if it wasn't that way then we'd be in the dark ages exactly we're civilized it's so funny those people own the entire planet yeah they literally like the British and now they have to go back to their shitty island and just be ugly and pale now but they're like that was crazy yeah now

they all I really blacked out detective shows were the ugliest people in the world try and solve yeah yeah that nobody cares so I've been watching love island with my girlfriend it's so funny it's like the Stanford prison experiment and just like they look like shit I don't watch any of those shows I don't like oh I love bad to you I love the telly I love bad TV but I love like bad like hallmark movies like movies that spent that took like they spent two dollars to make I was raped yeah exactly or like there's one called my secret billionaire that's um it's been actually re-released under two other names now

but it was probably made for like three dollars and it's about a billionaire so you can imagine that like how much stock footage they had to use just like a mansion yeah yeah it was just like like a helicopter right most billionaires they have like a Prius and Crocs yeah that's like the most expensive thing they own they don't fuck right it's so funny to see like what these people think of a billionaire's life looks like and the whole premise of it is like this guy he's a billionaire he's like a lady killer and his dad gets sick and he has to go to his dad's bedside and his dad is like I want you to go away it's like

the worst Italian accent that you've ever heard in your whole life he goes you I want you to go far away for a month with no money and I want you to to use to not use your name and he's just no questions asked he's coming to America yeah yeah yeah it's not funny with no no budget yeah it's not funny it's it's like genuine earnest heartfelt and I watched it so I loved it so much I watched it with ads actually really yeah I was like this is the greatest thing I've ever seen had to make me want to kill myself at this point I love him I fought for advertising dude I think about that all the time and he told my scene

advertisement I'm like what are you trying to trick me what you think you're a magician well you think you think you can get into my mind you think you're David Blaine David Blaine at least under the holocaust with his magic you're trying to give me a boss sneakers you sound like everyone my husband's been hanging out with oh yeah he's always London yeah he's hanging out crypto guys we're doing over there yeah he's he's working on us for a soccer team that was just purchased by crypto guys Leia's over there too she yeah and so is my girlfriend they're hanging out tonight Leia's in London Leia Maya's in my is

London yeah what's she doing over there she's like seeing friend she had like I couldn't go on vacation dating each other I couldn't go on hold on Andy said something about a side family yeah yeah what if what if wait it was so funny drew it when we were upstate and Andy was like you know you're like if if I died and I was like yeah Andy and I would go out and get pussy and you were like you were like you guys couldn't get pussy like if your girlfriend or wife died and then like I text Andy the next day I was like that was bullshit we could totally I don't know what she was talking and he's always saying shit like

that he's like maybe she's looking at me and I was like she's not she thinks you're my sister yeah it's just a smash cut through a blind woman stick yeah going back and forth this lady's trying to fuck me it's always someone who she wants me to fuck her eye holes so out of his league that I'm like you're you I think he's fucking blind I want like you want you need to check your own fucking vision mm-hmm yeah so yeah I'm the opposite I'm always like if I like even if I'm like it like I'm checking out at a place I'm like I don't I hope this cashier doesn't think that I'm like trying to rape her or

something you know it's like they're like oh this creep he's smiling at me yeah yeah I'm like I don't make eye contact yeah you just make sure I don't say thank you prison rules yeah yeah you put on a fake wedding ring yeah right so they Adam Friedland shows brought to you by diet smoke oh diet smoke what a product diet smoke is a Adam why don't you take it away diet smoke the show he's who people okay everyone's familiar with marijuana right which is something with the scientific term for it is Delta 9 THC this product diet smoke is Delta 8 THC they also have Delta 9 THC now and now they have funny about the regular all

of these companies they started they made like you know they can start with CBD because I technically legal right and then they added Delta 8 which is a little bit closer now we just legal so they're like about Delta 9 to you it's like this is just fucking weed now it's just weed yeah what is it does it get you high it gets you fucked up it gets you and Delta 8 will get you fucked up so but yeah apparently they have both but they have a whole line of products including vapes CBDs gummies what else they they have they just added more flavors cherry lime mango I got to try that watermelon blue raspberry so all

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about it yeah I was walking over there's got this Harry Potter store yeah who gives a shit who gave the friends cafe I pass by the friends experience the other day have you ever seen the TV show did you remember when they did the Seinfeld place they put they did the Seinfeld department somewhere in the New York yes and someone immediately broke the door doing Kramer they probably nailed it yeah no he did probably were the only one who did it right the guy like comes in and then it's like oh shit it's fucked out the door jam yeah so okay so right now I'm looking at the diet smoke website which

is an incredible website but I'm on their blog section which you really you got to check out and here's a blog post that they have four movie scenes a diet subs smoke subscription would fix the milkshake scene in pulp fiction okay violet Beauregard oh the Sicario dinner scene and of course the box the set the box scene in seven what's wrong with the milkshake scene she overdoses so I guess they're saying if it's in the middle of a heroin overdose they're saying she should have gotten a buzz from diet smoke they claim now is that diet smoke works like Narcan I think that's what they're implying I think

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from diet smoke take a cherry it's a bunch of edible you fucking faggot what the fuck wow that's that that movie would have been way better if it was editable ended in an adult age Delta 8 THC apparently they got Delta 10 now how fucking high that you think they were when they came up with that like what part of the ad what part of our marketing as you say movie scenes the Delta 8 could smoke but what are the what could you could literally plug anything in it doesn't make a fucking American beauty scene where she's worried about calm getting on the couch yeah remember that movie that damn cat what

if instead it was the cat was weed this is an advertisement bought to you by diet smoke.com yeah so we we really thank diet smoke for supporting our show the Adam Freeland show if you visit their blog section they have a lot of other good information including what is Delta 8 THC the best way is to enjoy Delta 8 THC a guide to microdosing cannabis here and the history of 420 that's interesting 420 is a celebration of the pure Adolf Hitler what I thought it was weed okay so you go to their website it was also Columbine yeah yeah a lot of cool stuff happened yeah fun fun yeah those that David Blaine we're here on

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p.m. I never I'd bro I never miss from 2001 to 2005 never missed a 420 yeah no I mean at 420 p.m. like smoking weed every day guys yeah yeah dude smoke weed every day yeah and then I pour out half of a 40 for Brad Knoll I'm missing honestly I got it I still miss some of the four I don't have the kind of scrilla right now to just pour out a whole 40 but this is for you fucking fucking 40 ounces of freedom dude I'm trying to think what like in the DMV they called the cheddar was like pussy they called which I think was just wrong I think they used that wrong I don't remember hearing people say cheddar to

mean pussy I think it was just my all pretty much all white high school sort of picking up did you say Bama did people say Bama or is that I think these are just these are not colloquial they're just like what is it what is it called when something specific to a time period yeah it was I don't know generational yeah generational because people used to say Bama there was a rap group named Bama you remember that yeah were they go go or rap it was right they were from Alabama oh they were from Alabama go goes DC yeah go goes the only thing yeah go go and I guess like like a certain I trip hop might be more

universal but DC had a huge trip hop scene yeah that's where we're like what are they called Thievery corporation yeah they're from DC yeah DC used to ride with Thievery oh yeah that shit I love that shit yeah it's tight I love I love that makes me feel like you're in oceans 11 yeah yeah it's really cuz it's like it's there it's that weird culture of like guys that are like sort of Mediterranean or something they just like come out of hang out of like hummus bars lounge music yeah yeah this studio feels like a place where they would like recruit someone for oceans 11 yeah this is yeah exactly we kind of feel

that way yeah you just find a guy we're getting a team we're getting a yeah one the most important member of the team the Chinese guy that fits into things yes we need a hacker we need a tiny Chinese guy we need a safe cracker and we need the tiny Chinese you know what tiny Chinese Chinese Chinese anyway if you go to diet smoke.com put in promo code come down to come down 20 we're gonna get a change pretty soon to the TAFS or whatever you're gonna get a great discount on some great products and you're gonna get freaking buzzed so go there and let's start the show buzz light year dude that's why they call

walking away to see toy story you don't try to see buzz light year Erklins best movie of the year fucking burrs light year this is crazy mouse is like she never really oh yeah we have a dog in the studio yeah she never really fucks with anyone she was asking to get on your lap just kind of like hold me which is odd because she doesn't look at strangers the dog probably knows that I donate thousands of dollars every year to the World Conservation Society you do okay that's what it is tremendous amount of money at this point in my life I my thing I only give money to animals and retards I give all mine to

Israel and the United Negro College fund let's get these Negroes from college yeah let's get a pure at home listening look go to the United Negro College fund website let's let's get a couple of these Negroes in college for a change I'm all down syndrome down syndrome is my main thing I'm always saying you know what these fucking Negroes need college they really should have changed the name they have they changed that they should they shouldn't let a guy like me yeah just be out here here in that name yeah say just telling people and saying where I donate saying the name back to them

well you can't that's the problem you can't you can't donate to a thing that you can't tell people that you donate to right yeah you know if you can't repeat the thing that you're donating to why don't my cousin in sixth grade he got suspended from school for saying Negro and his mom went into the principal's office and she lied that and said he didn't know what it meant and she got him off the hook he thought it meant sucking dick he thought he didn't know what it means he thought it meant squirting that's how old was he it was like 12 or something you know oh my god he was just being a shithead kid yeah but

yeah I think I think he said in like the cafeteria something he got him big trouble and then he got Vegas no this was he lived in LA but yeah then he got in a graffiti Hollywood Friedland he got into writing he's like I gotta go right I mean there there are very few black people in LA compared to like New York mmm there's a lot of Hispanic I think it's it's LA is just super segregated yeah yeah I've always blew me away when I finally went to California thinking of it being this very progressive place and then you go there and you're like no one lives in the same neighborhood yeah yeah but they have

like very specific neighbors they have like little jacarda right now you go there now it's 2022 and they'll be like oh this is black Beverly Hills it's like why isn't that just Beverly yeah what's that's all Baldwin right yeah what the fuck yeah black Beverly it's insane yeah yeah I fucking hate that city so much I it sucks I actually like enjoy spending time there but I I could not ever live there ever like just just on the fact that you have to make plans with friends like dinner plans like you're like you're in your 60s yeah you know yeah like you have to plan an hour commute anywhere right it might be it

might be a little bit more doable now that there's like Uber and left dude there was this one time where I went out to LA and this guy from live nation was like hey I want to have a meeting with you so I and I was like young and dumb in my career and I didn't understand how like if you get a meeting they don't reach out on Instagram you know so I was an idiot and I was like oh this guy live nation also not knowing that live nation like doesn't do anything and they're like an email list right and I like got this so I got this meeting and I go I drive out there and he comes down to the lobby and he's like so um so what's uh

what do you want in the future and that's like start telling him about my goals and he's like do you want like a family or kids and I was like is this a date yeah and he was like well it can be whatever you want it to be and I like this motherfucker made me drive yeah to be harassed like I I'm I just like doesn't bother me but if you usually they come to you he's got a suit on but he's like wearing sweatpants and his shoes are soaking wet what's um do you shave your foot or what do you want to do with your career what are your plans sure what are you yeah so how flexible are you um what do you talk about in

your act oh boy yeah LA sucks the best of what the best thing that ever happened to me though was in LA really yeah I may have like oversold what I'm the story I'm about to tell I could feel the doubt because you looked up you know the sky well I want my landlord hired me to to serve divorce papers to a woman and I got to stake out her apartment all day listening to mob deep are you serious yeah I felt like I felt so cool dude how much did he pay you I think like 25 dollars but you took it serious yeah dude yeah I was like Jo Jo Jo Ann did he ask you to stake it out or was I was like you just add that no they're yeah

because she was dodging she like they couldn't get somebody they were like what you need to just stay at that in front of the house because she's like she knows that he's trying to serve the divorce papers okay once I got this dude yeah like looking in the mirror and stuff like check me in case anybody's like why what are you doing I'm like I work for the fucking government I'm a cop fuck off asshole I'm here on work I'm James Bond that's awesome I actually thought about for a while during the pandemic I was like is it too late for me to join the FBI because I thought maybe I could do that and that would be

better than being a comic it I mean it still would be better oh yeah it would be what would you do in the FBI most people do computers I feel like yeah I mean I don't know I don't know what I would do I was just like it was one of those days you know where I was like I got there's got to be something I can do you would want to be like a special agent um they if they're like out in the field yeah I think that's what I would want to be doing I want to be one of those guys with the vest that's pointing his gun down because it's safe you know there's no like pointing his like AR down I don't think they go out into the

field unless there's a crime that you're going to right you know but I'm I was thinking like I don't know I wanted to like solve murders or like you know grifters like going after like grifters because there's so many of them now there's like so many people who are just like grifting you finally caught up to me social media I see we meet again especially like holistic healers that like are probably beginning cults on Instagram and shit like that is that a crime though yeah I think so the I think it's is it my two favorite crimes of all or in terms of like I just think that's like if you're gonna be a criminal these

are the two best ones to do shining a laser pointer at an airplane or a helicopter yeah awesome great and then transporting raw milk across straight state lines thrilling yeah and I remember as a teenager finding out about like because there's people that are raw milk fanatics yeah they're like this is this cure is cancer it fucking you know it's like this raw milk is the answer but if you bring it across straight state lines because it's not you know it's disgusting it's got like blood in it yeah it's like a serious fucking crime they take that like they take it very seriously yeah you're really not supposed

to bring that shit do they respect you there's people that like sell their own breast milk to like breast milk fanatics yeah I think that that though is okay because it's not like an animal product you know like that you couldn't because then if is it not well here's here's why you can't make a law saying you can't bring breast milk across state lines because then basically no pregnant woman would be it would be allowed to travel well they say that but you can't you know they're they're like a fetus is a person but you also a pregnant woman isn't charged to airline tickets you know yeah so it's like I think there's a

lot of loopholes with the whole you should see what these damn airlines are doing nowadays they're out of control they don't let you have a car these airlines are crazy if I was an FBI guy I'd want to be the guy that comes into the crime scene and tells the local police that we're taking over the investigation yeah and then the local cops like I just want I need this and I'm like sorry I'm the FBI yeah it's mine now I also feel like I'm just remembering why I got into it was there was I got obsessed with like misinformation and disinformation and shit like that and I was like so you want to be somebody

that like cracks down yeah free speech yeah yeah you want to be an anti free speech yeah yeah yeah yeah I think I think we should take away free speech I think we should get rid of it as a stand-up I think it could probably just sort of slim the herd or whatever the phrase is is that with the trim am I thinking trim the hedges slim the hurt in the herd yeah I'm glad you misspoke I almost stumbled on my words a second ago I was like am I having a stroke people do it everybody's been misspeaking well this place is filled with asbestos it's got it for sure yeah yeah I don't know what's in the ceiling I

thought I had monkey pox the other day because I got like ringworm or something on my arm yeah yeah sure I don't have gay sex I thought I had like ringworm or something I met up with Steven the guy that edits the show and he's clear he just has monkey pox right like without a doubt he's got monkey I thought he said he beat monkey pox is this a bit or are you serious he has a fucking he has a monkey pox lesion on his arm for sure are you sure it's not ringworm he's I'm like I was like bro you got monkey pox and he's like no what this is is it was like a pimple that got infected no one gets arm pimple usually the monkey

pox is like here right if you're sucking dick if you're on it okay you're on the train and you brush past a gay guy's purse that's how you get it for okay well that's yeah mm-hmm or you're or you're you know you're reaching down into a man's ass because you lost your wallet your watch came off couldn't find your metro car in the fist thing like oh that's right yeah it's in his asshole yeah it's it's I just you know I'm not gay but I'm a ventriloquist stacked and with inflation the dummies are so expensive I had to use a real person you got to use a gay guy tiny tiny you don't have to use a gay guy but

you do have to go on Craigslist and whoever shows up shows up yeah yeah I just stick to the script pal don't get cute with it this ain't Broadway we don't need you to get too fucking creative yeah cuz you're always doing stuff like that yeah now it's like I think I'm like developing like hell anxiety so there'll be like a brief second where I think I'm gonna like stumble over my words yeah I'm like something's wrong mm-hmm something's wrong and then I just like panic right and then I'll make myself do it no I mean we were talking about this before the show yeah I think I'd like cardio for I think I just have broad

like health anxiety right same anytime something happens to you with your health and you have to be around doctors they are constantly making you nervous because they'll be you'll go in and they'll be like well it could just be you know a little scratch or you could be dying well it's also the result of like two years of just the entire focus of everyone's life being on health on health yeah so you know a certain point I mean well it's also you kind of realized like they're really guessing they really don't know what the fuck they're talking it's truly I look at doctors now the same way I look at like

vets which I know they're doctors but like not really you they're just I'm like why don't I just go on fucking WebMD yeah dude my friend told me this I can say whatever he wouldn't he told he had to go take care of his grandfather because he had a surgery and he's like he told me what it was and it's like so sad what happens to the human body but he was getting so many catheters that it fucked up his dick head and so he had to get like they had to go in from the bottom into the pee hole because like they couldn't keep putting it in the dick hole like on the end because you got like track marks yeah he's like an old

man with dementia and they had to take him for his for his piece his penis surgery you know a male cat male cat sometimes they have to get their dick removed their dates are disgusting because they'll get like UTIs and to put a catheter in and cats of dicks are so small that they'll just rip the cats a dick off taking the catheter out oh fuck well also Josh Androsky's cat cats dicks have like they have a hook yeah so I feel like that would be problematic if you're trying to you know I'm saying maybe maybe your friend's granddad had a you know a hook in his dick maybe had a cat dick yeah you never know maybe that's

what the surgery was I felt so bad for him mm-hmm you're like you just shoot me in the head if that's ever happening dude it's really scary to think about aging because I I'm like getting old for the first time and I'm like it's not true everybody you're always getting old no I but this is but you're like it's different mm-hmm late 30s is a different fucking thing so you're really only feeling that now I feel that already I'm 33 oh yeah my fucking joints hurt and I'm like do I have am I having a stroke I'm like I really worry about like every every three days I'm like I'm having a stroke dude it's I'm like I went into

the pandemic at 35 I'm 37 and I am like looking around and being like like a comedy shows and shit and being like I'm talking to children yeah these are little baby children right and they're like in two years or three years they're gonna be my age but it's it's a different feeling like I'm starting to mispronounce like every famous person a little bit mm-hmm like I'm saying their name wrong and it's just like I'm fucking washed you know stretching in public and yeah oh god it's like sad yeah I I've already started doing the thing where I like ramble like an old person yeah I'll talk to somebody I'll

be like yeah and then I catch myself and I'm like 15 minutes into a story about Panera bread changing the menu yeah you know and it's like what am I doing and I'm like because you know they used to have the smokehouse turkey but then they replaced it with the chicken fontega which is good but you know it's not the smokehouse turkey was like it was kind of the only thing in that segment on the menu you just want to hang up on yourself yeah yeah like what the fuck is happening right I know exactly where you're talking like I just have these moments where I'm like shut up you dumb old whore yeah I'm like I'm doing

IVF and I'm like what the fuck the only reason I'm doing like I'm freezing embryos because I should have had a child at this point like I should so if I was gonna have kids I should have already done it but mm-hmm how old are you 37 yeah that's not that's fine mm that's like the age right yeah if I got pregnant right now yeah it would be fine yeah but I'm like you're worried about down center I'm worried yes yeah first of all yeah me and Andy so in 17 years and you like it's been a long day working you open the freezer and there's just a bunch of empty ice cream pints and you look through all and you go out in the

living room you're like come on man he's like well maybe you shouldn't have waited so long to get pregnant and then you wouldn't be in a situation if you haven't weigh a song to get maybe you didn't have a sweat slanted around in your 20s and early you would you would have a son that eats maybe checks mix after school instead of 17 pints of ice I feel like the industry is at a place where having having a mentally handicapped child would only help my career oh yeah you could take that shit to the top yeah you could ride that little fucker all the way to the top absolutely yeah absolutely used to be

that their own Olympics and now they're gonna have to put a regular they're gonna have to integrate the Olympics yeah you know I hope so let's make it fucking fun they already integrated sports illustrated you know how much that's gotta suck if you're like a retarded football player and then they see the sports illustrated like they're like that oh that she gets to be in the regular sports illustrated but I still got to play retard football the cheer leaders they're fine they get to be in the normal stuff but I'm still playing and they're counting the score with fucking jelly beans

you got the fucking abacus made of candy anyways yeah yeah good my kid and then I'll have it when I'm 50 and it'll be a it'll have Down syndrome yeah or I think autism they say also if you're the older down syndrome is actually almost like eliminated is what I heard yeah because they're testing for it so early yeah there's a eugenics there is yeah yeah it is kind of fucked up because honestly and the older I get I mean this is like it's funny it was it was like a thing I used to make fun of when I was younger and more cynical but like you know like we were like actually

we can learn from them mm-hmm you know retarded people they can actually be the teachers actually they're the wisest yeah maybe you're just fucking stupid you know but like the only thing that matters in life the only measure of quality of life is like how happy you are right and they've got it in spades yeah yeah there's such good guys absolutely my first friend in school had Down syndrome her name was Elise and I had the most fucking fun with her and I remember my mom being very nervous and concerned and saying that it was important to make friends with everyone yeah but I what she wanted you to get

other I loved her Elise was crazy she would just walk up to people pulled her fucking pants down I feel like the only the only way I could have a family that like stayed together yeah is if we had one like one of them would have to be the older one would have to be retarded those are the best families yeah yeah they're like good people yeah except for Racine yeah I guess but her his brother's has autism right yeah yeah yeah yeah they keep him in a cage and they let him out of Christmas I love Racine his kid is so fucking cute he's so cute Ben I honestly that's a big kid he's a big boy that's a big boy yeah yeah Racine

and Deb are like the best case scenario for people meeting in comedy I think yeah like I look at the two of them and I'm like that's a fucking like look we can we can do it I remember they had their kid around the same time as like a bunch of my like Jewish friends from like back in the day and I'd go visit the kids I see my friends like neurotically like the head to protect the head you know like just freaking out right and then I went over to Mike's to see the new baby yeah and like they were like yeah he's fine I don't know you know and I was just like oh wow these people are like they got a zipline they're attached to just like

he's fine across the room yeah send the baby over here just put him on the floor in the middle of the room we'll come back in an hour and a half he'll be fine my friend just came to visit with her kid and I took him to the Museum of Ice Cream and was it your Down syndrome friend no I actually got a job at a museum I'm gonna get a museum now I wonder what she's up to I actually like never I don't know what happened she never came back but she like I took him to the Museum of Ice Cream which you should if you take a kid there it's like kind of giving a Molly because it's just every room is like neon lights

and fucking you know they're like flash slides and there's like a glitter pool or whatever but her kid started falling asleep and she was like well what's the point of being here and I was like dude us like what us that's the point it's a weird thing when your friends start having kids to see them just sort of lose their own youth in that way it's sad yeah you go like fuck what happened to you just wanting to have fun like this is this sucks now yeah everything's for this kid which I guess is that's what it's supposed to be about yeah it's probably pretty nice honestly yeah it's better than you know just being you and

you got a podcast you're trying to figure out a way to justify keep doing it I think you don't really feel like an artist anymore I don't know why you did anything right now you have to just invent medical problems right yeah yeah like some something's got to give right something's got to be different I've had the same thoughts of like oh maybe I should but but then I was like what if I feel the exact same way and then I just have this kid next to me and I'm still worried about like keeping my podcast going yeah yeah or whatever well then you'd be micro scene yeah he seems he seems happy or at least he's gaining

weight you know he does seem happier yeah very round he's gaining weight in a very funny way yeah it's all belly his body is very like this guy looks like a stretched water balloon yeah well his head is moving forward and down yes like his stomach is just getting bigger well his body is matching the personality that he's always had right yeah in a way it's very satisfying it's like watching you know some completion of the circle so people get fat in a way that's like just sort of an opportune Hampton got fat in a very funny way Hampton Hampton young oh I don't know Hampton oh you don't know I mean I know of him I just

haven't seen a photo of him but he lost all the way he did lose all the weight and then I I'm not sure where he's at now he could have it back or I haven't seen Hampton in years but yeah he moved out I remember him moving to LA and then I saw him and I hadn't seen him for like somebody should start like some kind of account yeah so we can track this the best is love Lev Lev's weight gain is one of the funniest pieces of he should he should get the Mark Twain prize yeah fucking how fucking funny it I know his weight gain is I know it's and it's so satisfying it's a work of art the way in which that guy got fat like nobody saw

him for you know the pandemic yeah and then he comes back and he's 400 pounds heavier you're like what yeah looking at him I was like oh you've always been like this yeah this is who you actually are no it's like it's like the shallow it's like watching the shallow howl trailer yeah really like walks past something and he suddenly just big you're like this is um and and oddly enough like sometimes people I think become better when they're fat he I think he got to he's a worse person but he is better for it mm-hmm does that make you think it became a worse person when he got fat yeah yeah he's like a meaner

you know I mean but I don't think he's meaner he's somehow more confident I mean it's bizarre that's kind of what I meant by com yet by meaner but yes yeah it's what's the confidence you get when you go cuz he was a young guy so he was doing comedy was like 1920 right and he's hot yeah and but but now he's like maybe he's like 23 or something you know you know what switches when you're like I'm an adult now yeah like these like I these people I'm around are just like you get to hear and then you get just get dumber your brain starts like breaking down yeah and so he has the confidence of being an adult but he also like is not

now he's just a fat it's just incredibly fat yeah guy who just clothes don't fit I thought he was losing the weight I thought he was on me and him have a bet cuz he was like I sat with him one time and he's yeah he just has this like unshakable confidence which is I think he was fat before this to like he was only hot for like two years yeah it was like we only we only knew him after he lost the weight yeah he got he got hot and then just produced a lifetime worth of hot content yeah if you Google his name there's no fat pictures absolutely it's just that the eight months in which he was not fat

right that's like that the story yeah he created his his own that's what goes on the tape and then yeah you can't find anything current but yeah I've made him at a bet cuz he was that there he's just sitting there with his eyebrow raised and he's like but this time next year I'll be what he said he's like I'll be 200 pounds lighter and I'm like you won't even be I'm like you won't lose 20 pounds anything like nothing he's like I guarantee you I will I'm like I'll bet you a thousand dollars I'll bet you a thousand dollars take the bet yeah we got a bet going okay and then the next time I saw him he's like I'm down 25

pounds I'm like fuck well I guess I owe you a thousand dollars we'll see what happens yeah and I saw him last night fucking fat as shit too yeah yeah you gotta start bringing your own scale to yeah I don't even want the money like I'm not even at a level of fat where it's like if he loses fucking 20 pounds you're not gonna know yeah like he's not 20 pounds on him is like five pounds on a regular body I hope he loses the weight for his health you know what he should do is he should do a seasonal thing yeah cuz you do comedy for eight months and in those eight months he's just wildly overweight yeah obese and but then

continues to do like dating advice stuff yeah like telling guys how to get the most out of their woman it's just his ass his fucking ass is hanging out why he's such a circle-shaped person now yeah he really is yeah no cuz he doesn't know the right like the little miss sunshine he's awesome dude I love him yeah he's great he's my favorite person in comedy he cracks me up just cuz when I watch him talk to people and he's done it to me too he's gotten me before we're like he'll just piss me off like he'll he got he got me to the point I forget what the fuck we were talking about but it was something where he was just

trying to be antagonistic and I was like and I just fell for it and I was like oh he fucking got me so good yeah I was like yelling at him in the stand and then I was like what am I doing I'm like fighting with like a child and it's like 1130 I have a husband at home yeah and I'm not leaving me and me and him like co-hosted some shitty upstairs show at the stand one time and somebody took a picture and not only I mean you know I'm at I weigh like 10 pounds yeah you know and but I was also just like in the background right the shot and then he's sitting on the stool and he saw the picture and he's like he just he couldn't

believe that it was that that he's like the picture must be wrong he's like I'm not that he's like he's like I don't look like that do I it's like yeah yeah it's literally a photo of you yeah that someone just took but that's what happens when you get I was like a fat kid and when I look at pictures of my I remember looking at pictures of myself and being like no no no that's no yeah because you start to go it's the angle yeah or like it's actually just like the shadow of my shirt it's the gravity the gravity in the lens right yeah and then like but at 23 you're supposed to be able to look at a

photo of yourself and go like oh this is a problem yeah or just never look at photos of yourself yeah just smash the mirror in your apartment smash all the mirrors live in filth and come here and sleep on the floor the studio yeah just bury yourself and work it was so funny when I saw him for the first time after the pandemic and he was talking about his girlfriend and he was like she's a fucking saint you know like because she'd stayed with them he meant it I was like yeah this is really funny to me she's a saint yeah which saint which which let's go through the cannon tell me which saint was the

one that the patron state is saying of watching a guy kill himself with Panda Express yeah which one which one was that yeah okay anyways Adam you want to you want to take us out here yeah we can continue doing the show by the way I do think I'm gonna like I need to drink some water or something mm-hmm you're gonna faint yeah I think I need to go get a physical because I did aside from that come from the doctors but I think I need to run and get aside from the medical or you know like health phobia I think like I did switch to veganism oh yeah I need to make sure

I'm not like fucking up my like levels iron levels yeah mm-hmm yeah are you taking a take a prenatal vitamin I do I take a good well I've you know it's like I don't I don't I use I've for years I've always taken a good multi vitamin yeah now I like supplement B vitamins on top of it just yeah yeah that's see this is the shit that I'm talking we could talk about supplements for a while we honestly we should I brought six bottles to go to my dad's house for a night I'm thinking about going to Chipotle after this the two top patreon but the Adam Freeland show is gonna be the number one patreon we will yeah million dollars a

month patreon.com slash TAFS and then we're gonna exclusive video content entirely separate from the networks create Anderson Cooper mad TV show I can see that yeah but the top two we're currently it's true crime bullshit and then then well I guess Tim Dylan after that but then there's one that's like just a nutrition podcast uh-huh and something called something called maintenance phase and they make like 800 million dollars a month being like fucking peanut butter and jelly whatever they talk about but you guys are like lips those motherfuckers yeah we will get Anderson Cooper in here we're

getting big slips on the new show we're booking it yeah we got huge huge gas coming through I don't want to gas it up too much but huge Jessica Chastain Jessica Chastain Tom Tom said no yeah Tom confirmed he was not interested today broke my heart no Timothy what's his face that famous Chalamet yeah he's coming on we're gonna talk about the Willy Walker movie mm-hmm be like how do you have your process how does it feel to be an icon with regards to the Down syndrome community you're both a gay icon and the king of candy and the king of candy yeah ladies and gentlemen they call him

the king of candy Timothy Chalamet a twinkish boy just like a guy at Down syndrome at blockbuster picking up candy man he's like oh this looks good he's at home watching and he's like what the hell where's all the candy it's just what they go to the factory some fucking black I watch a movie about a fucking black I watch thought we were gonna watch something with twizzlers and rainbows I thought this was supposed to be about the candy what is wrong with our society and all of this it's too much love that this starts with him at blockbuster yeah which is just him at this

point in a warehouse somewhere he's calling blockbuster but folks we do have now seen that picture right of like the dad who like for his autistic son recreated a blockbuster shelf in his their house so their autistic son could go pick out movies at blockbuster no I did not very adorable that's sweet see that's the kind of thing I need in my life mm-hmm for me that this like you know ignore my regular children and helping them with their homework and dealing with the nuances of complex emotions look I just got to build your retard brother a blockbuster that's the kind of dad home school yourself yeah

your brother needs help I don't know shit about the fucking revolutionary war don't ask go check Netflix I'm too busy with this no no I can't tell you about girls I gotta find the right kind of slot board to hang up these fucking get the font right you know what kind of temper tantrum he's gonna have if finding Nemo doesn't look perfect on that shelf I kind of like this I like this idea yeah more and more I'm like maybe I'll just go into the doctors at the end of the month and be like can you get me one with the Down syndrome no it'd be nice it kind of would be nice yeah I'm sure for him he'd be like I can take a

load off you'd be just a fucking source of constant joy because it's just me in there and a bunch of women in their mid-fifties trying to get pregnant from the other west side this bitch said it before but I would love to have a Down syndrome son and a normal daughter like a smart daughter and just be awful to the daughter yeah just be but like in the way a mom would yeah like you look like shit you're going out wearing that you look fat your arms are fat you shouldn't pose sideways yeah sweetie that's not your color just a Thanksgiving she's on her first plate and I'm like maybe a little less maybe you want to take some

breaths between bites literally my childhood a bitch mom dude my mom was such a bitch she would drop me off at friends houses she'd say to their mom she'd be like hey um Rosebud likes to snack I brought a padlock I brought a padlock in a bag of celery I got drywall she starts to ask for more you can put her in the backyard and tire there well Rosebud thank you for thank you so much for joining us folks with just an update we have a real timeline for the launch of the actual show Nick and I are pretty excited things are coming together I'm sorry about all the wires that are exposed right now Nick sometimes I'll

say something to Nick and then he'll go silent and I'll hear banging in the other room and then there would be more wires pulled out of the walls I think it's like a therapy for him so well no obviously I mean it feels like he's in the middle of something really important but nobody understands what it is that's obviously but if there is a mark of genius that I'm trying to make the world's best magician yeah you know just build it just build it okay all right well thanks for joining us thanks so much thanks guys