The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - MICHAEL KNOWLES Talks Theater, Daily Wire, Conservative Media

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

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I mean, I did one recently. Knowles versus transgenderism, Knowles versus protesters that's got 2.4 million. Oh, well, people will come up in my own days. Transitioning 1.4 Millie. I was gay, she was trans, 1.1 Millie. No longer gay. Not dating trans, as bigoted. So you argue with gay people. No, I... All the time. I don't... They are job? They argue with me. You could have gone to finance. Why do you... Like, you went to Yale. Why do you do... Good evening show, oh my Adam Friedland show, oh my Adam Friedland

show, oh, with Adam from the show, my TV. Good evening, and welcome to the Adam Friedland Show. I'm Adam Friedland. First off, as always, I want to thank our members for supporting the show here on YouTube.com. You guys are the ones that make it happen. So if you'd like to join the Freedland Family Foundation, you get bonus content, you get your name of the credits, you get discounts on merch, you get the show early before the rest of the pigs, you'll be at the water cooler knowing what's going to be in the show. So guys, go to the top of the screen and click join or click the link in the description of this video. You could also support us at patreon.com slash the Adam Friedland Show if you prefer to support the show through Patreon.

And speaking of merch, the store is restocked. You can check out the Adam Friedland. Dot Show. We got everything you need. Shirts, hats, check it out. They look good. My guest this week is conservative political commentator from the Daily Wire Michael Knowles. His podcast, The Michael Knowles Show,

has amassed millions of followers and over one and a half billion views, making him one of the most prominent conservative pundits in media today. A former actor known for his traditionalist Christian perspective on American politics, Knowles has openly expressed his opposition to LGBT rights, specifically amongst children. Now, those of you who know what's in my heart on this issue know that Michael Knowles and I couldn't disagree more. I am a proud supporter of

gays, and I don't want anyone to confuse me having someone like Michael Nolz on the show for supporting his point of view in any way. So that's why in true talk show style, I think it's a good idea to lead us into this interview by i made a list this is my top 10 gay guys from history all right ten caravaggio my goat painter obviously nine elton john he raised a ton of money for aids in africa and he wrote some of the most legendary songs with burney taupin his songwriting partner eight plato nuff said everyone knows seven Tim Cook, I mean, I don't know if I'm alone in this, but when Steve Jobs died, I really thought Apple was cooked, but then they had someone, they had Cook come chef it. Yeah. Six. Alan Turing, one of the smartest gay guys of all time, is math was, won the war for, I think, what did he do?

Benedict Cumberbent, bench. I didn't see that movie. Did you see it? Okay, five, Oscar Wild. I love the, his sayings. He's brilliant. His wit is brilliant and his style. Flamboy's style was awesome. Four, George Michael. He was Greek and gay double trouble. Three, Tim Dillon, he's actually gay. I don't know if you guys knew that. Wait, he's gay. Two, Wentworth Miller from the show Prison Break. Apparently he's gay. And I love that show. One, this is my god. Nathan Lane Personal favorite of mine, his performance, have you seen The Birdcage? His performance is Albert in the Birdcage is perhaps the funniest movie character I've ever seen. His range is really what impresses me.

The thing is, like, he could play some of the most iconic straight characters too. He was, a lot of you might not know, he played Timoan, the Lion King. These are some of our most talented artists, performers, thinkers. These people are unparalleled in their fields. But to people like Michael Knowles, these are people that have problems and they suffer from some sort of spiritual affliction. So how can you have an honest and meaningful dialogue with someone like that? Well, you'll just have to see. So please enjoy my conversation with Michael Knowles.

All right, we ready, Michael? I'm ready. Is it Michael or Mike or Mikey? I defer to you. I generally go for Michael, but I defer to you. Well, I generally go for Michael. OK. Ladies and gentlemen, prominent conservative pundit

from the Daily Wire, Michael Knowles, everybody. Wow. Thank you. It's a full house, thank you. Yeah, full house. Yeah, we collected these guys from Times Square, a bunch of fat tourists. We're pressed for time.

You have to go to where? LaGuardia. LaGuardia. I do. I have to. That's the destination. It is. Yeah, yeah.

I could stay there all day. Actually, the TWA hotel is quite nice. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where you can, you can take a nap there, actually. I've taken a nap there before. Okay. Yeah.

Let's go to you. You know, our audience is like, barely can read. So we're going to have to introduce you a little bit, and then I want to get into kind of like, I've been watching a bunch of stuff you've done. and I think it's pretty interesting and I kind of want to discuss a couple things about yourself, about where things are at currently, and then I don't know, we can, I don't know, I'll show you some TikToks or something. Great. Okay, okay. So you're from Westchester? Yes. Correct. And then you went to Yale. I did. But you were a child actor. I was, yeah, I did a little acting as a child in a little bit in my early 20s.

Was your mom taking you to the city for auditions? No, she really discouraged it, actually. Your mom didn't want it. Yeah, because child actors go crazy, and they're exploited a lot. So I really wanted to be an actor as a kid. And I would do little things, commercials, or whatever. But she really put the kibosh on it. But finally, I convinced her to let me do an acting conservatory type thing, right around here, actually.

And so I did that a little bit. A little bit in college, a little bit in New York afterward. And then my final gig, I got some, like, low-budget movie in L.A., and it wrapped photography on the day of the 2016 11. election. And the election results were coming in. And everyone really liked me on the set. I was very popular. But then they were all getting really sad. And I was not getting sad. And then they realized my political views. And they liked me less. I concluded. Oh, man, you should have seen Brooklyn on that night.

Were you at the center? I was saying this probably won't make the show. I said at the other. No, I wasn't at the Javitt Center. I wasn't getting things thrown at me by Hillary. No. I mean, it is kind of such a comedy of air is that whole thing. And frankly, there were a lot of conservatives, a lot of the, you know, real establishment types were devastated. They thought it could not happen.

Well, Reince was like trying to throw another body at Trump every week during those, that primary. He was like, Ted, just try this week. And he was like, you're gay, your wife, I have dirt on your wife. You know, Reins then ended up becoming chief of staff. It's amazing how that didn't work out very well. I, yeah.

It's, yeah, little Marco's now the secretary of state. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's funny when they were all humiliated publicly by this guy, and then they were, like, phone banking, depressed. Like, yeah, there's a picture of Ted, like, phone banking, like, during the general, like this. Well, you know, this is the thing I really like about Trump and all those guys. They were always accused of taking everything personally. They took nothing personally, including Trump.

I think he hurt their feelings. He definitely hurt their feelings. He was a brutal, he was an insult comic for the entire 16 primary. He was Lisa Lampina. He was like, honestly, Joan Rivers became the president. It was the fashion police became the present She's like Kesha I love your outfit

It would look better on a woman Yeah like that's basically Yeah I do say often like he does like He does act a lot like Like the The women in my family A lot like no one respects me You wish I was dead

You'll be happy when I'm dead You're very unfair Yeah oh yeah He's the first Jewish woman And you know why, too. It's because he's from Queens. He's an outer borough New Yorker. Yes. When he would do, he would do this thing, no one understood it. He'd put things in quotes. Like, I'm really good or whatever. You know, I'm the best president.

And he writes, like my grandmother used to write in New York. He used the quotes to be, like, boldface or something, and random capitalizations and all. But that is, New Yorkers of a certain era, rather, would, that's how they would write, you know. And so, I don't know, I felt very familiar with it. There is a moment I kind of felt like he was for real when he was like, they were like, how can we, it was like Ted, I think, he was like, how can we vote for Donald when he gave money to Hillary Clinton? And he's like, I'm rich, I give money. I bribe everybody. Yeah, and it's just like, but for the public's, like the public knew that that was true, but no one had admitted it.

It was kind of like at a mask off moment where it's like, this is a thing that we all know is true. And I'm like, oh, damn, I think he's actually for real. Well, he would, that was the read of authenticity, is he would do a bit about running for president. Like, he would even joke and say, all right, I'm going to be really presidential today. Today's my day to be presidential. And it read is quite sincere. I mean, I don't know. He was renegotiating his contract with Jeff Zucker for Apprentice.

He didn't want to be the president. He just realized that the rest of these people are such losers that he could actually win. It's kind of like me becoming the most famous late-night talk show. You're the Joe Rogan of the Left, I heard. I'm Joe Rogan. I read that somewhere. I'm the fucking Mahatma Gandhi

of Generation Alpha. I just don't. The newspaper wrote three articles that... Yeah. I don't even know how to read, my brother. I know, but you're very famous now. This is...

I'm not very famous. I'm not like Brad Pitt. You're not Brett. You're quite famous. I'm incredibly famous. Extremely. Extremely. So, wait.

So you went to Yale from... Yes. From your... You know, from your childhood in Westchester. Yeah. You're a Yanks fan?

Yankees fan, yep. Yeah, yeah. How's it feel right now? I kind of... It's kind of different now. I stopped the religious viewing of the games halfway through the summer. I took my kid, though,

to his first ever Yankee Red Sox game over the summer, and that would be lost again. I think it was the new stadium. It was... Yeah, listen, I love the old stadium. The new stadium, it was like... It's a corporate headquarters. It's soulless.

It's sort of like the Coliseum. Like, I'm not totally opposed to it. It's the symbol of imperial. power it's like it but I agree it doesn't have that same that same soul the fans aren't dickheads anymore you guys used to be fucking dickheads I was walking it was out of the old stadium I think it was and I it was the Yankees Red Sox game 20 years ago and there was I don't know what happened but some Red Sox fan was being like beaten beaten to a pulp on the street I thought ah yes it used to be yeah

it used to mean something yeah we used to throw Pedro used to to assault Zim. Yeah, that's right. Do you remember when his fat ass got thrown to the ground by Pedro? In fairness, just waddling up. Zim kind of started it.

I mean, he charged him. You know, he was the one who charged him. And then one time, Big Pappy spit his gum at me at the state. I was heckling him. He did? He was walking to the dugout. Yeah.

What did you say? I was a kid or whatever. You said, DePoor. I said, I did. Tom Homan's going to get you. No, I didn't. It was so badass after the Boston bombing when he was like,

These are folk ye seed. Do you remember that? I don't remember that. He was addressing. the stadium goes these are falkies seed i gotta go back to the take please don't curse dude yeah i mean they were kind of like the washington heights team though they had manny they had poppy they had they're a very dominican team yeah and he uh big poppy is my fellow a cigar man he's a cigar manufacturer oh really yeah that's the that's the that's the only thing he and i

haven't come and why is it good in communist cuba why are those considered the best well they were considered the best. I think the quality is going down a lot, mostly because the Chinese bought them and it's been declining since communism. But, you know, it's like why is Bordeaux wine so good? It's just the dirt in the sun, basically. Okay, and they have good dirt? And they have good dirt in Cuba. The problem is the quality is declined. So you buy a box of Cuban cigars. You might have to throw out half the box. They don't even smoke. You can barely light them. And so if you want really good cigars, you've got to get Mayflower cigars in my experience. Is that yours? It coincidentally is mine, yeah. You named it after the Puritans? Yeah, the boat.

Yeah. Oh my God, you guys are obsessed with the dumbest shit. The founding of America. That's good. The buckles, guys. They weren't the founders of America. There were guys that didn't want to have sex, and they just came up. They had a lot of sex.

You know, I descend from some of them. They had enough sex to produce me. Yeah, like three times, dude. They were the prudes, weren't they? They were, you know, look, I'm not a Puritan, because I'm a Catholic. Yeah. So they're probably rolling in their graves. But they were feckoned.

They were a feckoned lot. They were feckoned. They were fecened. You have Mayflower blood, though? I do, yeah. Even though I'm kind of swarthy, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're not swarthy. You like, you play up, you play a trallion?

I'm exotic, yeah. So that's, is that your wheelhouse at the daily wire? You're the, I'm the, I'm the diversity hire, yeah. It is kind of like, it's kind of like barstool sports, right? Like, you guys, like, what's like? I've never heard that comparison, yeah. Well, it's just like, it's like you guys have all the talent. I was looking at the roster.

You have everyone except for Candace. We had Candace. Quintas, oh, you had Candace, and then you don't have, like, forgetting Sarah Marshall, you don't have that guy. No, we don't. What's his name? Get him to the Greek? I don't, yeah, his name escapes me. He sits there and he doesn't, not wearing, like, shoes.

He's, like, doing yoga, and he's like, whokeness is a desire. Oh, Russell Brand. Russell, that's true. What happened to that guy? He, I thought he was going to convert. I heard he was considering, or he may he might have been baptized. He was baptized, and he was praying the rosary, but I don't know that he became Catholic. Okay, so wait.

Let's back up a bit, right? So you went to Yale, you went to L.A. to become an actor? Yeah, well, New York a little bit, and then I went to L.A. Yeah, yeah. I saw a reel of some of your works. Did it suck? Were you reped in L.A.? I was repped, yeah, and in New York also.

Who were you with? I was with DDO artists, which was a smaller. That sounds, pedophilic. What is D.D.O. artists? I, they, what did it stand for? Dorothy Dei Otis, I think. Oh, he was getting turned out. Left and right. No one can hear you scream from the Hollywood Hills. No, no, those were my reps in New York.

But then I came out. These guys? Him? No, not those guys. You're in talent? Yeah, yeah. They... Who you got on your raster?

Did you ever get invited to a freakoff when you were a young actor? Not once, though I... David Geffen never invited you to a pool board? I never made it that far. I don't know. I only did the low-budget movies and the off-Broadway plays, you know? I never got far enough to go to a freak off. Oh, man.

It would be an honor. I would... You know? Hi, hello, sir. Hi. Nice to meet you. I was invited to a freak off. Were you?

Yeah, and it turned out that it was only just the Monopoly Man. It was just one guy. That's his name. You know the name of the Monopoly Man? That's his Christian name. Rich Uncle Pennybags? Yeah, yeah. I'm descended from him to know. Oh my God. Okay, wait. So if you're sitting next to someone on a plane, right? And they're like, what do you do? Right? So it's like dicey because people like are like, want to get, want to scrap these days. They do. What do you say to like some, like, let's imagine I'm like the old, like a Jew, the most Jewish, like Jewish like you're benched-year-old woman yeah yeah so I could go any direction on you yes what would you say so what do you what do you deal the ma'am can I offer you a hand

what you do for a living I work in media I work in media what oh so you're Jewish what do you what do you like what do you do in media I oh it's online media it's kind of new media yeah what does that mean oh I'm I'm old I yeah no on Facebook Yeah, I do. I am. I'm on Facebook in MySpace and Zanga, and I, you know, a little bit with the news, a little culture. It's a little theology and philosophy, yeah. Theology and philosophy. Yeah, a little touch of that. You do podcast? I do a podcast. But everyone does. Every white man under 70 is a podcast. Is that right?

Yes, that's by federal law, I think. Yeah, every one of them. Zach does have a podcast. You don't have a podcast? He's a band, dude. Are you a white millennial man? You are? Well, it's Jewish. Yeah, I mean, it kind of cuts both ways. America, it's white. Yeah, wow.

We have to rectify that wrong. We've got to get him a podcast. Oh, I thought you might take white away. Take his whiteness away. Your card's revoked. So how'd you link up with the goat? How'd you meet the goat? With Mr. Shapiro.

Yeah, yeah, Mr. Shapiro. Well, it was this lovely elderly Jewish woman on the airplane. She's like, I have a son. Are you in podcast? You have to meet him. Let me show you some pictures of Benjamin. Man, why are you screaming? The air marshal's coming.

So I met them, because I knew Drew Claven. I worked with Drew Claven. His son I went to school with, and I directed him in opera and stuff. And I worked in politics and a little bit in show business. And so I connected with them. And there was this group in Hollywood of conservatives who worked in all sorts of different parts of entertainment. Hollywood conservative. James Woods? James Woods.

Yeah, he was one of them. Who was in there. John Void, of course. John Void. He was very famous. Many secretive people. who don't want their names for you. Is it like, is it like homosexuals in the 50s?

Yes, it was. Are they like you're also a confirmed bachelor? No, that's what being a Hollywood conservative is? Yeah, it was literally, it was called Friends of Abe, like Friends of Dorothy, like you were a gay guy in the 50s. It's actually where we got Abe Lincoln. Oh, I thought you mean it like, friends, it's like a, it sounds like Jew, Abraham.

Right, yeah, yeah, well, they're all Jews, obviously also. That's disgusting, we, that kind of violent, anti-Semitism will not be tolerated. Here's the thing is like, also like, conserving, like, American culture is, like, it kind of is, you know, the wops, the us, and then cool black people that gave them the... The culture, yeah, yeah, we brought spaghetti, the mafia, yeah. No, no, I mean, the metagon, like, what movies have they made?

These metagon, yeah, they, hmm. I mean, look, they inspired, the real wasps inspired a great cigar company that some... There's nothing. Is that Goodfellas? That, yeah, the... Is that casino? Yeah, no, listen, what?

is that is that freaking is that freaking is that freaking two D fruity I'm just saying like what's one song that Metagon have made we made the Christmas songs yeah we made the Christmas songs we wrote Jewish be Irving Berlin wrote like yeah yes yeah the Christmas song I'm dreaming of a white Christmas I love it's like hey with name me a black hip-hop artist a little Richard or Judy fruity that's the one that's the one you're not a hip-hop artist no no he's not he was a homosexual piano player that inspired everyone yeah He was incredible.

You know, Tootie Frudy's original lyric was Big Booty? No, it was. It's a song about anal sex. I swear to God, no, that's a true thing. Like Tootty Fruity, Big Booty. Yeah, yeah, but... Big Booty. Wow.

I'm not even making that out. I want a fact check on that. Is there a groin? Yeah, well, we'll do a daily one on your fact check. We'll see if it's really a song about gay sex. Actually, the idea. Wait, so you, through Clavin, you met Ben? I met Ben had dinner early on I moved LA with Ben and Ben was kind of known at the time like he'd been on where do you have dinner kosher restaurant or at the house

Yeah, it was a Claven's house Yeah, we had nice bacon wrapped scallops and is clavin kosher? No, no Ben's kosher. Ben's kosher. Yeah, yeah. So how do he eat? We didn't let him eat. No, it's just water. He said that he had water? No, I don't know. He ate some maybe we might have ordered in kosher or something for it Yeah, he'll say Chinese. I think all Chinese is kosher. No, no, no, okay. No, no, no. Mushu pork is. But he, does Ben, Ben, used to live in L.A.? Pico Robertson? He grew up in L.A.

Pico Robertson? Yeah, I think so. No, that or the valley, he might have, he was living in the valley by the end of it, but he might have grown up in Pico Robertson. What's it, so is that, where are you based? You're based in Nashville. In Nashville.

And Ben's in Miami? Ben is, yeah, the promised land of Boca Raton. Oh my God. He said there were only about seven Jews in the state of Tennessee, which is an overestimate. And so he hightled it. He went to Florida. Tell me about Ben.

Like, tell me about his intelligence and like, what? As a leader. That guy's never read a book. He doesn't, what does he know? Would he like me? He, hmm, we've only spent about 10 minutes together. I can't, I can't come to a conclusion. So the answer is no?

I don't know. I just don't know. Can you say? You don't like Beebe. I mean, that might be a knock against you. But I don't know. That doesn't mean I'm a bad guy. You might be a good guy.

I just don't know. He could like me as a guy. He could. I don't know. What is BB is more important than just a new guy that you're talking? You know. Yeah, but I mean, well, what if you came out? What if I said that band is, I like

Ben. Do you like Ben? I like watching Ben. Do you? Do you? Are you a Shapiro Head? I find it entertaining. Not in like an LOL way. I just like the way he works.

Yes. I like the way he works. I like to see the boy do work. Yeah, you like, you say, cook, let Ben cook. He, because Ben doesn't care about making friends ever, he has no friends. He actually has friends as I've tried to. He once said to me, he goes, I don't have any friends. I was like, what am I?

He said that you're not his friend? He implied it. He heavily implied it. Did you tell him that? I'm actually you're friends with you're my friend we're friends and what was his response he's anna some people are family people some people are friends people I'm a family guy could you send Ben like a just send Ben a picture of me right now I'll send a picture right now let's see yeah yeah say just tell him I say what

shenatova you're gonna send Ben that I'm sending it right now I'm gonna text it to him right now wait can I see the pig yeah do I look cool yeah it looks good It's kind of foggy, I don't know, what I've got. It's kind of really. You have, like, skin, like, oil on your camera. I do. Oh, you are a proper Italian. I am. I am produced all the oil.

You got, yeah, you get. Adam Friedland. Adam Friedland, he says, he says, Shana Tova. You a picture from the show. Yeah, yeah. He says Shana. Tova. Yeah, yeah.

And I say next year in Jerusalem. Next year in Jerusalem. yeah okay all right um wait so let's so are you like you are you can see are you the Seth Myers the Seth my that's very offensive thank you very much no no not I'm the Marlon Brando I know I'm saying are you like the Conan to his Leno I are you the number two bull in the stable yeah I man could I be the what could I be the I don't I'm just saying did have it to his is that Ben's the top guy he's the top dog okay so then what I don't know are you you conceive of

yourself as the as the no in in a way because we do different things and the thing about the Daily Wire also with Matt and other people we've had yeah we do all disagree on a lot of them I mean you know about what oh who's the worst minority I yeah yeah we we all of them we actually agree on yeah we disagree on you know there are a lot of different ways to come at the conservative view yeah and Ben is a little more libertarian generally I'm a your Catholic you're Catholic you yeah yeah but you were it started as atheist Yes. Well, I was a cradle Catholic, fell away at my confirmation. I was an atheist for like 10 years.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, we baptize infants, which I think is a good thing. You try to baptize Ben? I've never tried. I've threatened it. I thought you said there was a, you tried to do a prank where you have a Dixie cup of water. No, once I'm, I was boring Ben by talking about religion and like sacramental incarnational theology, and I could tell I was boring him a lot. And so I was like, fine, fine, fine, all right, I knock it off. I was like, but we were on an airplane. I said if the plane gets shaky, just to be safe so he goes to heaven that would be an act of charity yeah yeah yeah yeah I

think he took it that way honestly can I get Ben's number because I have a good counterprank oh it's imagine you show up for a meeting right you guys you have like you know freaking you know you have Emperor Palpatine you Miriam Aetelson you got the whole squad that's our board of directors yeah yeah you got the whole squad and then he's got a moyle there and he's like it's your turn it's your turn he's got like he's got like a a long beard he's like it's time for your brist that's to bet presumably it that's how you joined the club dog I heard it I heard a four-skin joke yesterday let's hear it better be good it's kind of bawdy I don't do body joke I'm a very

wholesome you're on a gross show okay all right so I heard this just yesterday actually you know you're I'm serious who you hear from I heard it from a man in this room heard it from one of my colleagues I'm not gonna say which I'm not going to say Warren Bobert yeah it was so a my man oh so I don't know I did that I meant this. He gave me a Zinn before the... You didn't give me a Zinn. I kind of want, I like that ashtra. I kind of want to smoke on the set, but we don't have any cigars. Do you? Could I? Not a cigar, dude. Yeah, that's old I like to smoke. Well, you freaking Charlie Chaplin? I'm Groucho Marx.

Shut up. Okay. Well, let's hear your fucking dick joke. Okay. So I just, I can't take credit for this. Okay. A career moyle. He retires. Okay. And, you know, as part of his career, he's, he's collected all of them over the years. Really? Yes. And so he, as a retirement gesture, he goes to a leather worker and he says, this is, I've collected these for my whole career, and I would like you to turn it into something for me, to remember my career. And so the guy, he says, okay, all right, come back in a week. He comes back and he says, okay, I've made you this beautiful wallet. No, no, it's a wallet. He says, hold on. I've been in this line of work for 30 years. I bring in

all you could make is a wallet and the leather worker says yes but if you if you rub it it turns into a suitcase oh okay incredibly offensive actually actually I'm going to tell Ben

you said that it might be anti-Semitic I don't know it's really hurts my feelings yeah yeah because babies can get voters great joke dude makes total sense you're reading too you're reading too much into

freaking nasty gross creep Why don't you debate 20 Jews? Surrounded. All right. How has, like, so you kind of got into the conservative media ecosystem like 2018? No, I worked in politics from when I was like 19 years old. Okay. I worked my first campaign, which was successful.

I was kind of involved in it at a higher level. And we were running against this congressman who was a, he was a rock star in the 80s. He was in the band Orleans. You know, like, still the one that makes me. It was like that. Great song. Yeah, great song. And so anyway, I did a, I did this bit called The Young Voters for an Orleans reunion tour.

And I ripped off all his songs and it was about, you know, making them... You did it? There were parodies. He threatened to sue me. So what's the name of your song? I'm gonna listen to one. It was a vote with me. Vote with me.

Vote with me is the parody of still the one? No, I've danced with me. Dance with me. I want to be your partner. That's a good song. That's a disgusting song. What do you mean that's a disgusting song? I say girlfriend, actually.

Okay? We're not in a real estate practice. together. Vote with me by, okay, by Orleans? By, no, the song is by the young voters for an Orleans reunion. So you're claiming that your lame-ass songs beat this congressman? Yep. You're out of here. No, I mean, look, we had a great candidate.

What a waste of a Yale education. Yeah, no, well, I was, I was still as a sophomore or something. Anyway, then I got recruited to other campaigns, I was working in campaigns. To make songs? To make songs? Yeah, that's my artistic career. Okay. And so anyway, I was working in him.

And I really liked it. I mean, I was a political junkie from a kid. Okay. And so I was doing that. Yeah, I mean, I had a political consulting show. How old are you? How old am I now? Yeah.

35. I'm 38. 38? Yeah, yeah. I feel, 35 made me feel old. You missed the Gipper, dude. I did. I just missed the Gipper.

You just became the president. Don't worry, dude. I thank you. That's the one thing I tell myself. I was like, only three years I've been able to be president. Yeah. It could happen any day now. Yeah.

I don't want to. I'm going to have to because they don't have anyone else. It's you or Gavin, I guess. It's me, Gavin Newsom, or the lady from the Bud Light can. Oh, she's beautiful. Who is she? Helen of Troy, I think. Helen of Troy.

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okay so wait so then you worked on another campaign so you're in like campaigns and elections yeah yeah yeah you know it's the scummiest part of politics it is it teaches you a lot though about politics when you especially it's so nothing it's so at the congressional level you've got national issues but you've

all the like spaghetti dinners and all the you know corrupt county clerk of whatever you know yeah and I find it was an amazing political education I think it's much better than studying it or you know I lived in DC and those were the biggest dildos in DC the campaign selections people well I had more respect for lobbyists yeah those people you know that is a future they can lose every time and then they get a promotion each time yes yeah yeah no I found in in the political consulting world in Mike's not no offense to my DC Beltway consultant friends. It's the local ones who are much better for those kind of races. The minute they

bring in the DC team for a congressional race, things start to get squirly. I found out. And you played dirty? What was your dirtiest trick when you were doing campaigns? No, I didn't really. I mean, look, I just told you. I confessed to ripping off this opponent's song. But I didn't do really nasty. It's awful, I know. You did a parody song? Yeah. Without license. That's not dirty. That's without, no. I didn't pull dirty tricks, really. People did them. People would rig elections. That's fun. People would, you know, the other side, they would bus in union workers from out of district to, like, brazenly. The buses, you know, with SEIU or whatever, they'd come in, so you'd have election

watchers. That's sick. Yeah. I would have been more successful if I pulled more dirty tricks. Can you imagine how fun Illinois during the 1960 election would have been? Is it 16? Like killing people? Yeah.

No, just dead people, yeah, yeah. Dead people. You know, Lyndon Johnson stole his race in 48 in Texas. Yeah, he's the best guy ever. Who's your favorite president? My favorite president ever, Chester Alan Arthur is a favorite. I'm not even really, really, really, why? He really didn't want to be president.

He sobbed when he had to become president. So he's like Trump, yeah. He's kind of like Trump. He just, he wanted to be vice president because he could be a corrupt machine politician from that office. And then he actually improved. He exchanged letters with this lady in New York, and she convinced him to be moral,

and he actually was like a virtuous man and reform the civil service, which ended up being a bad thing. Who's the lady? She was like some shut-in. was like some shut-in in New York. She was like a random lady who just wrote to him and he read her letters. Some like mentally ill woman was writing him letters and it touched him? She was definitely a bit eccentric. Like a cat woman? Yes, yeah, basically. That's such a hipster answer. Yeah, and Chester A. Orthard? Yeah, yeah, man, look. You probably never heard of him. Lincoln, dude,

you idiot? Lincoln? Yeah, the best president. He's the best one. Better than Washington. He saved the union. Sure. I mean, Washington founded the country. Yeah, but the union fell apart. Like, Lincoln, Lincoln had to do the impossible. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Like, yeah, it's impressive. I'm not knocking Lincoln. And then also just like, yeah, he like, he just, he kind of like, I don't know, he decided to end slavery like midway through because he's like, it's the right thing to do.

Yeah. It wasn't like, a lot of people think that the war was over slavery, but that didn't happen until, like, you know, midway through. It was, it was about slavery in the, I know. I mean, I guess, it was about, that was the issue that was, like, leading to the national crisis. They haven't emancipated them yet. And I'll be pilloried by my Southern friends for saying it was a war about slavery. You don't have Southern friends, bro. I do, believe it or not. You just live there in Nashville and people are like, what the fuck is this guy's problem?

It was this Yankee. And you're like, I used to direct operas at Yale. And they're like Nancy. They're probably like, fucking Pelosi over here. Pelosi! No, they're very cultured in the South. The South is the... I love the South, dude. It's really the only instantiation of the old world in America. It's like, you know, Gentile kind of... Also, they're just honest about being racist. I don't find them racist. In the north, they're just like, go to your

neighborhood. Just be quiet and go to your neighborhood. Okay. All right, so I watched some of your bangers. Okay. I watched... What's your favorite one? A lot of your thing is you just debate gay people? I mean, I did one recently. I did one recently where I debated 25 gay guys.

No. You did trans. Noles versus trans. Trans. Trans. genderism noles versus protesters that's got 2.4 million oh people will come up at my events story they'll be transitioning 1.4 millie i was gay she was trans 1.1 million conservative versus trans but you know why they started coming after me no longer gay no longer not dating trans is bigoted that one hold man is confused by why people think he's a man he did debate LGBT so you just yeah so you argue with gay people no i all the time I don't, I did, they argue, they argue with me.

You could have gone to finance. Why do you, like, you went to Yale? I could have gone to McKinsey or something. Does this feel like a little bit like, uh, no, you know why they came up and argued with me? Why? Because I gave a speech. Because you said that they should be eradicated. That is why.

I didn't say they should be eradicated. I said the ideology. You know what you're doing. I am being clear with my language. You're not being clear with your language. I was being clear. You know what you're doing. You just said your audience is illiterate.

I'm explaining to you the precision of my language. These people have mostly PhDs in general. You just said... Fair enough. All right. Listen, we're both straight guys, right? Yes. We're both men's men.

The alpha men. Yeah. I don't know what it's like to be a gay guy. What am I going to tell them what it's like to be a gay guy? It's probably tough. Yeah. Well, you would tell at least, look, again... What is the objective, right?

So like, I watched the 20 gay guys versus you in... That sounds worse the way you just told that. Okay. It sounds worse. It's a ridiculous concept. right? Is it? By the way, we pitched one and they were, they said yes and then they said no, right, Caleb?

What was the topic? The pitch was that bodybuilding is destructive to American culture. So I wanted it to be 20 bodybuilders, 20 bodybuilders against one wimp. And I was going to be like, this leads to toxic masculinity, it leads to Andrew Tate, it's gay to have fashion muscles. Why would they reject that? That's a great episode. Because I think they realized I was taking the piss. Bizarre video shows male cheerleader for Minnesota Vikings.

Huh? What? Who cares? Who cares? Yeah, you got 82K. That's not a big video. That's a very minor video. But did you have a big old thing?

What? Here's the thing, right? I know why you're doing it, right? Doing what? What's the objective? If you're debating LGBT person, what's the objective for that debate? Do you want to convince them not to? They usually come to me with these things.

So I guess they're upset that I think we should get rid of transgenderism. So I guess the objective is to persuade them. Is it that transgenderism? Is it that transgender people or is it? No. It's the belief that a man can be a woman. And who came up with that? Who's the author of that? A bunch of deviants and ideologues. Like where did it come from? Well, it often is traced back to Magnus Hirschfeld in the 20th century.

But, you know, it's an eye. ideology that has cropped up at various times throughout history. It's kind of Gnostic. It would go back to some of the ancient Gnostics to suggest that your true identity has nothing to do with your body. Yeah, but that's true. They had good aqueducts though, you know. I don't know. But don't you want to be a nice guy? Don't you want to be nice? No, I don't care about being nice. Why? I want to be a good guy. I want to be, you know, courteous. It's a little nosy. It's a little bit nosy. It's a little bit nosy. It's not a nosey. They demand that I lie and I'm not going to lie because that's a mortal sin.

You don't, do you post in the vid, bro? But they're the ones who want the debate, and they're the ones who made it a political issue. Is your vid, though? Yeah, I'm reacting to it, of course. You're doing numbers with it, right? I am doing numbers with it. And the other thing is this, like, be honest, right? Because people agree with it.

Be honest, like, in terms of the culture war aspect of it, the limbs walk in on that every single time. Every time. Right? Yeah. Well, now I think it's changing. I think they lost. I think they got destroyed on that issue, and they're starting to give it up. Because it's ridiculous.

They're starting to give it up? Yeah. What I'm seeing from your side is this all day long. Yeah. Okay. Well, but we didn't start it. It was the left that pushed this in the elementary schools and in the sports lanes. This is what I'm saying, seeing you guys highlighting.

Yeah, because they forced it on us and we reacted to. It doesn't seem like, it doesn't seem to me like a big deal. Right? If it's not a big deal, then why doesn't the left just give it up? It's not a big deal. Let me give it up. Give up transgenderism. Stop putting boys in the girls' bathroom.

Stop taking over the sports league. Stop castrating the little kids. Give it up. It's not a big deal. Good. I agree. Then give it up. No, I'm just saying it's not a big deal. Like, for your guys' agenda, right?

Right? I'm not hearing anything about... What's my agenda? Okay. A conservative politics, right? My agenda is the truth in public life. I'm barely hearing anything about the budget deficit. I'm barely hearing anything about insolvency.

I don't know. Castrating little kids is more important than like, you know, the budget deficit. You think that if Social Security is insolvent, that's less of an important issue? I think... I'm saying, and that's your guy's issue. I think... Well, yeah, I mean... But I'm not hearing shit about that.

No. I'm hearing about babies' penises. Yeah, I, baby, well, we're not, they're not castor any babies. You guys talk about kids' penises all day long. Yeah, I think if... It's a little bit perverse to me. Well, we're not the ones who started it. Okay, and this is what the libs do.

They say, hey, we're going to chop up little kids. We're going to teach them a bunch of weird stuff in kindergarten. And if you object, you're the weird one. Why are you talking about it? I don't know. Is it happening? It, yeah. Is it happening all the time?

All over the country. Well, now it's since there have been laws. All the kids are getting their penis to chop. Not all the kids. How many kids? How many kids are getting their penises chopped? How many guys are, how many trans people are playing sports? It's like five people.

Yeah, no, it's more. There was a study. You don't think it's a study. A study just came out of the UN or something like 700 awards and medals were taken away from women because of the trans guys in the sports. 700 medals? Yeah, that's a lot. You don't think that, your guy's thing is social security becoming insolvent.

That's not my thing. I don't, I don't talk about social security. Right, but I'm saying that entitlement, like, or reform is your guy's thing. Are you like a Blomer con? This is, is this 2008? 2008 now we're talking about Social Security. This is like baby penis gets clicked. That baby penis does numbers.

Do you admit? That's why you're debating. I am not admitting that, no. Baby penis does more numbers than, like, Social Security will go bankrupt, which used to be your thing. Pointing out, pointing out visceral injustices against the most vulnerable and innocent people, yes, it arouses more passion than budgetary measures.

That's true. But it should. That's just human nature. But like, why do you want to be the boss of that? Well, because it's an injustice. we need to correct in a self-government. That's with politics. I've met trans people, right?

And they've expressed to me that it's like, it must suck. If you think that you're not in the right body, right? Yeah, we should help that. I don't fucking understand, right? So how do you... What is like to feel that way? Yeah, I'm sure it involves a lot of things. So are you going to affirm them in that painful delusion that makes them more miserable,

or are you going to try to help them by telling them the truth? I don't want to make the rules for someone that I don't understand. Well, you live in a self-government in America. And so you're supposed to weigh in on it. That's what. So you're saying the rules should be what? The rule should be that we acknowledge reality. That men and women are different in this case.

You have kids, right? If your kid was like, I'm gay, what would you tell him? I would say, well, you know, I'm pretty and witty and gay, too. You know, I'm very happy. No, no, no, you're doing the thing. I've heard you just say that in other things. Because you did theater. You also were in gay movies.

You played gay guys. Well, I play a couple gay characters. Well, bisexual characters. What does that mean? Bisexual is even gayer than gay. What the fuck is bisexual? I want you to know, that gay character I played in the Yale movie, that is the straightest thing never came out of Yale.

You played gay characters, and now you say that it's a social contagion. Bro, I played Satan in a play once. I'm not like, you know, I go to church, too. And so the story was that you being gay with another guy was a social contagion? No, your character was gay. Yeah, but again, like, so in that why you're doing this? Because you're embarrassed about the gay movie? No, in acting.

Listen, I'm a very old school, Thespian. Same, same. And so in the old days, it used to be when you... Men were playing women. They were, that's true. Boys were. And in the old days, when you played a role, you would pretend to be someone that you were not. Like, for instance, I'm not the Prince of Denmark.

But if I were to be in a Shakespeare play, I would pretend. You went to some sort of freaking, I had to access some sort of molestation that never happened in order to access this emotion? No, no, not that stuff. I don't like, I never got into that. Where did you study theater? studied at the Stella Adler School right around the corner and what is what's the theory what's her theory well it comes from the uh Stanislavsky system at the Moscow art theater and uh which is you neg the target which is yeah yeah no it's that you use your imagination

i saw something actually pretty interesting kind of related to the gay debate that you were in and i wanted to know if you'd seen this no because this is like an interesting take that i saw on on homosexuality yeah and i i know you do a lot of reactions like videos and in the lot now we can react to so i'd like you to i'd like you to tell me what you think about this okay let's see okay okay no no no no there's a remix this a remix wait wait wait you have to see this no this is an interesting this is a pastor from Uganda okay and he took uh yeah yeah i think so this is and muslin but this is actually like i hadn't heard this before ugandan capital of campana good pastor martin sempa is rallying

rocobama back off it's right that has drawn the ire of the international community including the very american evangelicals some believe inspired the legislation good morning everyone my name is uh pastor dr martin sempa i'm here in the capacity as the chairman of the National Task Force against homosexuality in Uganda at the press conference pastor Sempa was flanked by religious leaders both Christian and it's interesting he continued Barack Obama back oh because legislation to make sure that Sotomay and homosexuality never sees the light of legality in this land of the part of Africa in a room packed with

local and international I'll just show you the Yeah, hold on. That's less saucy then. Okay. Okay. I've taken time to do a little research, to know what homosexuals do... So he watched gay porn. One of the thing they do is called anal leaking. Where a man's anus is leaked like this by the other person, like ice cream.

And then what happens, even poo comes out. The other poo's out, huh? And then they eat the poo. The other one they do. The other one they do is they have a sex practice called fisting, where they insert their hand into the other man's hand. And it goes into the endless all the way. And it is so painful. They have to take drugs, but they enjoy it.

Now, if we have any children, please step out. This is a parental guidance moment. Hey, that child can be moved up. It was a little late. No, hold on. Is it going to show some? You can see a man here having sucked the other person's rectum, and the other person is poo-pooing,

and this one is eating the poo-poo all over the place. Tell me, when you have a law against homosexuality, do you say except eating poop? Okay. Yeah. So apparently they lick the other man's rectum like ice cream, and then poo-poo-poo-court. come out.

Yeah, yeah. You could have mentioned that during your debate against 20 gay guys, I thought. I don't think that ever came up. I didn't prepare enough, is the problem. And sometimes they do anal fissing where he put their arm into. It's very painful, but they like it anyway. Yeah, and they must take drugs. Yeah.

So do you feel as if Pastor Sissimpa is a comrade or kind of like a... Him, especially. Actually, yeah. I mean, he's really done the work on this. Yeah, no. For me, I was just looking up, like, you know, philosophy and anthropological. The philosophy of gay sex? Yeah.

Well, yeah, like human nature. I think this guy did the work and he saw the pooh-poo coming out. And I think he actually has a more firsthand kind of... We might need more immigration from that area, because that is a job that the Americans don't want to do. So when you're debating a gay or a trans person, like, how does it feel, like, is it fun? It's painful, but it gives me pleasure anyway. What gives you pleasure about it? Like, what, like, what, like...

I don't know. Why debate someone you disagree with? How do you qualify winning? Like what, in your mind, what is winning? Oh, well, it depends on the kind of debate. For some kind of debates, you know, you're fighting someone for the audience and one of you wins. You're catering to your crowd, though.

Yeah, that's in one kind of debate. No one's watching that, and they're like, I was on the fence about eat up poopoo, and then you convinced me not to eat up poopoo. I mean, look, that's not my tactic. You haven't convinced one guy not to eat up poohoo. He might have. He might have.

If he didn't, if he only had a. I'm saying you against 20 gay guys. No, I, yeah, I have a different. different approach. But for some of the debates, you know, you actually do want to convince the other guy. And then that, you know, that doesn't play on the internet. Have you convinced one gay guy not to be gay? Well, on the trans issue, I think I've probably convinced people. In fact, I had a girl come up to me. She said, hey, Michael, I thought I was trans, and I, but I was listening to you and other people. And luckily, my parents didn't, like, trans me.

And then my doctor, and I had a good priest, and my doctors actually ended up diagnosing me with autism and treated me for the autism. And then my gender dysphoria went. away. So that sounds like that person's had a difficult life, right? Yeah, and now it's getting better because she's accepting the truth and not being affirmed. Probably just also, like, they've had a tough time figuring out who they are. Yeah, yeah. But she figured out the truth of it, not the lie that's being promoted. Don't you think to some extent, like, the way we talk about children is a little bit cruel? How do you mean? I do agree. Listen, I'm the, I'm the, you know, I'm the freaking Voltaire of the left, right? Okay, but like, don't degrade yourself

by comparing yourself to Voltaire. I'm the freaking Spinoza of the left. You're the Marquis de Saude of the left. I am, yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm the Sun Tsu of the left. But, like, I do think that there isn't on both sides of political discourse. And first of all, sides.

It's just you guys, really. Who? And we can get into that. It's like, why has there been an advantage and, like, online discourse on one side, really? Oh, you're saying on the right. Yeah, it is. I don't want to go there yet, but I don't want to go there yet, but like, I do think there hasn't been a discussion enough about when we talk about kids, we just talk about their penises and vaginas.

Again, I'd like to question your premise here. I think it's a little bit perverse, and I don't think it's Christian. I don't think that's a Christian approach to, like, talking about how. Yeah, but I don't think we do that. I think that's a false premise. If I'm reading, if I'm reading your big, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're. right that with the liberal politicians came out and said we need to cast straight kids and then I don't think that's true you don't think that we

I don't think I think I don't think I don't think about I don't think Pelosi said we need to cut their dicks off said we need to we need to support trans children that is a euphemism to mean we need to put them on cross-sex hormones and in some cases mutely across the board whether they're trans or not they've been coast to coasts were not you know national politicians like Nancy Beau bro bro bro bro you're talking about something that is probably just a statistical insignificance and you're highlighting it, you're highlighting it, you're highlighting it, you're highlighting it, you're highlighting it, you're highlighting it to vilify an entire group of people. I'm not vilifying anyone. I do, yeah, again, I really don't agree with the premise. I mean, there are a lot of things to talk about. You know that I won that one. You know I just won that one. I don't, I don't, you went to Yale so, bro. I don't, no, I don't you went to Yale and I won that one. Did you? Damn, I should have taught a Yale. Okay, I just, so, okay, you also go on those shows where it's like, like, like, only fans? The whatever podcast, I've gone on that a couple times.

And you like yell at, you yell at girls that show their tities and vaginas? I definitely don't yell at them. But you tell them that they're like, that you're high-value cigar men and that they're low-value prostitutes? I'm not sure I've ever said that. What does your wife say to you before you go to one of them shows? Yeah, so I could have a good work trip, honey. I don't, yeah. Your wife, come on, bro.

Think about that. She said, I support you in yelling. A work trip? I don't yell. Again, I think you're on a plane. You go on a plane. You go on a plane to the yelling at, at, at, only fans. I don't.

You travel on a plane to that? I don't. Yeah, I travel on a lot of planes. And what does your wife say? Well, she's... My girl would kill me. If you went on a dating podcast? A dating podcast?

Yeah. No, it's a podcast where girls like that take their clothes off for money get told by men. And there's a black guy one. There's a white guy one and a black guy one, right? Yes. On the black guy one, they are all Holocaust deniers now. I've never been on the black guy one, actually. You should go on the black guy one.

I don't think they've invited me on. So you go on a show where you tell girls not to do only fans? Yeah, don't sell your bodies for sex. You should have gone Goldman Sachs, dude. What the hell are you doing? That sounds way more boring. Because if I were at Goldman Sachs, I'd be like, what do you do? I say, I invest money and whatever.

You ask me, what do I do now? I don't know. I just kind of talk. You seem like a nice guy, right? I appreciate that. But what's the motivation behind telling a stranger they're a bad person? I don't tell them they're a bad person. But you are effectively telling them that their entire life is bad.

and that they should improve it that they would be happier but it's a stranger it's a stranger right yeah I don't know these girls it's and it's also someone that doesn't you have some modicum of power it's someone that has it's some nobody you're telling a nobody that they're stupid I don't do that no I think all of your premises are a little bit mistaken why are you smiling then well why you smile you because you know you're going on the prostitution to tell them that they're like that they're that they're that they're that they're that they're that they're loose women

And they shouldn't be loose women. I do tell them they shouldn't be loose women. That's true. Like, why is it, it's not, I don't want to get involved with that. I know. Your premise, I guess, is you don't want to be involved with other people. I think I'm a human being who lives in a society, and I think we should conduce to the common good,

and we should help our fellow man and have charity for them. So that would be a... It's not charitable, though. It is charitable to tell someone that... Charity is to rule the good of the other. That they're being a bad person. No, no, no, to say, hey, you should not do things. things that are bad for you and you should do things that are good for you.

Yeah, but if someone's already had all the trans surgeries and they're like, I'm happy now and you're saying that you tell them that what they're, that they're actually a man and stuff, you know that they're not, you're not being nice to them. I am certainly, I think the truth is nice and I think lies are very mean and disrespectful. You know it's not nice to tell people the truth. You have to tell me the truth like in love. You can't say like, hey, you fat, it's a no at all. But can't you just admit it's just showbiz and it does novers?

It's not just show. That is your showbiz. No, it's not. It's important to tell people the truth. It's not. And it's good for them. Okay. Can we call Ben?

I just want to say, what are? Did he text me back? Let me see. He definitely didn't. He totally did. What did he say? Hold down. I'm going to read it first before.

What are you say? Hold on. Just hit him up, dude. Please. Hold on. This will be the amazing finale for the episode. This is great. What do you say?

He said, L-M-A-O, tell him sane. Wait, just call him. Call him real quick. Please call Ben. This is my show. It's El Capitan. No, I'm not putting it. Why are you being afraid of the boss?

Do you be a little bit bold? Yeah, I'm not, I don't want to. Hey, what do I care? Hey, what do I care? You know, what do I care? You know, what do I care? It's not up to me. It's not my...

What do you mean? He's being gay right now? I did not, I did not call him gay. Can I say something to you? Can I say some of you? My sister... Is she a Ben fake? Rather woke?

Oh. And she said his wicked review was incredible. He said, Ben hit the nail on him. He loved it, right. Yeah. He's like, this is not as good as the original cast recording. He did. Kristen Chenoweth, saying, let it go.

Adina Mansell, saying let it go. Much better. Can you please call it? Yeah, no. No. You can't go to LaGuardia until you call Ben. I'm not calling it. All right, thought experiment.

Yeah. Either you do my thought experiment. Yeah, I'm in. I'm in for the experiment. Okay, you're walking down the street. You see two guys having sex with each other. What? Michael, answer my question.

You walk down the street, you see two fellows fully in the nude. Actually, they're both wearing Jordan. Since in Uganda. They're both wearing Jordan ones. They're having sex with each other, right? Do you intervene and say, like, tell them to stop having sex? Yeah, actually. In the street, if it were in their private room.

I say, hey, fellas, please stop it. Okay, and they keep having sex after you say that. Then I call, first I call Ben Shapiro, obviously, because you asked me to it. And then I call the police, and I say, get those guys. Police are too far. Okay. They're too far. You see a six-year-old walking down the other side of the street. Yeah. You're next to the, around the corner, you're at a corner, right? You see these two fellas fully in the buff having sex. Six-year-old coming towards you, right? Yeah. Okay. You got about like, what are you going to say? Split second. How long is that six-year-old going down a full city block?

Ten seconds. You got ten seconds. What are you going to do? Physical intervention? I guess I'd... Are you going to punch them? No, I would probably divert the six-year-old. Say, hey, hey, don't go, because I don't want to really get that involved with the guys. I don't know if they, this might be like Scott Wiener in California. They are pretty buffed these days. The gay guys are like, they look like, they're Bob. They look like John Cena these days. Yeah, I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to catch that, you know, monkey box or anything.

The six-year-old has an appointment, and the six-year-old is like, I have an appointment. I cannot, I cannot, I cannot. Yeah. And the six-year-old is like, stranger, stranger, stranger, stranger. Yeah, as they know, you know. So the six-year-old, like, the six-year-old jukees you, Barry Sanders style, okay? Six-year-old continuing, you have about five seconds now. I have to dive on the men having sex?

You know what, I would probably take my jacket off and throw it on the men in the buff so that the six-year-old wouldn't see them. And then I would have to get a new jacket. Jacket blocked, jacket on the floor. By the homosexuals? Yeah, yeah, so you have three seconds now. Three seconds, the kid has a very important appointment.

And can I sort of walk alongside the kid to kind of block it? So he's still walking, but I'm kind of blocking his very You're too skinny, you're not gay, actually. Yeah, you're not buffed like gay guys. Yeah, yeah, the kid is also like the kid is fast and wily. Yeah, okay. And the kid has to turn the corner too. Yeah, so at that point...

And plus, your body's not gonna block two incredibly jacked gay guys, only wearing Jordan ones, Chicago's. You want me to tackle the homosexuals, don't you? I don't want you. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? You want me to jump on the gay guys, is what you're saying. That's what you're clearly saying. I'm saying, what do you do?

I don't know what to do. At that point, I can either tackle you do. I'm a liberal, I'm going to tell the six-year-old that this is their sexual education. So tell me what you do if you see these two hunks. You see these two, you see that there's these two guys, they look like Tom of Finland illustrations. They've got huge ones too. You've never even seen that big, okay? You're seeing that they're going at it.

I mean, it's kind of like the most athleticism and tenacity on display you've ever seen. If not for the child there, I might marvel. In fact, you're like watching them having sex. you're like in fact like they have to be gay yeah right like they it's their weight class yeah they can't have sex with a woman because they kill them right these these two Adonisus yes they literally they they're the Greek the the tenacity and athleticism on display is true that's that phenomenal and so the kids say like listen it's not my thing but I like you know and you know on that

point then I the kid would say what he finally he sees it it's three seconds he says ah what's that so you let the kids see it I don't well I apparently can't stop him. And he sees it. And so what do I say? I say, that is Achilles and Patroclus. And this is a lesson in ancient Greece. So you do sexual education, seven-year-old style. I do historical. You do seven-year-old sexual. You do drag queen story hour at the library. I would not lie. I would not lie to him. I would just take a partial truth. This is how the blue pill, he took the blue pill, everyone. Give it up for Michael Knowles. Wow.

Thank you.