The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Andre Kim - Episode 63

Episode Date: July 20, 2024

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Andre Kim - Episode 63 Andre Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andrethecomedian Andre Kim's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/andrekimcomedy Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #andrekim

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It's like, you really think my car is going to make a difference? I mean, they're, they're at least sweeping the streets. Are they? Yeah. Now they're, for a while they weren't. I mean, they were giving the tickets and then there were just still they still be garbage out all the time. Right. There should be a thing like, hey, we didn't street sweep today, so no ticket. They do it. I mean, that's honestly it's like I've said it before. The only reason I'm not an anti-semite is is because of the amount of. Times Jewish holidays have saved my ass.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Fuck, and I run outside, I'm completely naked, and I look at the, I'm like, what? Why don't I have a ticket? Yeah. And it's because it's Rosh Hashanah. Yeah, it's Rosh Hashanah, I don't know, whatever the fuck.

Yeah. Sakath or, you know, one of their things. What kind of car do you drive? I have a Toyota 86. Really? Yeah. I like that. Do you?

Yeah. Are you like a Fast and the Furious guy? That's not racist. No. No. No, I got a Mini Cooper because it's so small and the parking's great. Oh, that's fine.

You know what I mean? Yeah, you know what I really don't like is the, what is that like Mini Cooper crossover they came out with like 10, 15 years ago? With the four doors? Yeah, the four doors and it's bigger. What's the what is that like Mini Cooper crossover they came out with like 10 15 years ago with the four doors Yeah, the four doors. Yeah bigger. What's the name of that? It's like it's Yeah, the sportsman. Yeah Why defeats the whole purpose right of a Mini Cooper? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the big Porsches With the four doors. I'm kind of like why would you ever yeah get that? I remember when the

The new Mini Cooper came out, what was that, like 2003, 2002 maybe? Yeah. Yeah. I remember, for some, whatever those years are, and in my mind, it was before 9-11, but there was a brief window where I felt like no doubt had control over the whole culture, you know what I mean?

Like that band dictated what everyone's life was gonna be for like two years. And I've said it on the show before, there's a restaurant in downtown Brooklyn called Super Fine that looks like they opened it in that year and then didn't change anything. And so it's sort of this weird time capsule. But they just, they closed for presumably remodeling

or something last time I went there. And I'm like, well, I'm never coming back here again. Because the food was atrocious. But it was bad in a way, it was bad in a way where restaurants used to be not good really. You know what I mean? It was to be not good, really. Yeah. You know what I mean?

It was just like, eh, whatever. Yeah, right. It's just a place to go eat food. Because there was no Yelp. Right, yeah. So they could get away with it. Yes. Yeah, that's probably what it was.

But yeah, I remember that. I'm like, man, they're coming, the Mini Coopers coming back out. I don't know why I thought that was important. I think I just liked Austin Powers or something. Oh yeah, well it was good in the Italian job. Yes. You know, a lot of people when I have the Mini Cooper and I show them like, at the end of the night after spots,

I like to give people a ride home. Yeah. You know what I mean? I just, cause I know how much it means. Yeah. I stopped doing that cause people treat you like you're their fucking Uber driver. Do they?

Yeah. You ever give someone a ride home? You got a car. Yeah, but I always have. See, I keep my car just filled with shit. Oh really? That way it's like, ah yeah. I got this box filled with paint. Yeah. You know. Yeah, no, and then people they'll be like, okay, can you park to the left out? Can you pull up to a little more just a little ten feet more? And I'm like, bro, just get the fuck out. Yeah. I just drove you eight miles. Yeah, you know what I mean mm-hmm so

Yeah, dude. It's good to be here though I fucking uh I remember you guys are talking about me when you called the Vinny Beatle on the show that's who knows you yeah scumbag Vinny yes yes yes Big character on the show I think right he is yeah, and then yeah, that's right okay now It's coming back to me,, you know him from like starting comedy Yeah, when I started he was uh Yeah, he was still like scumbag Vinny. So he was the one that ruined the mini Cooper ride homes. I'm assuming No, I never was like, can I just get a ride? It's right down the street. It's 85 miles later

He's having to drop you off in the city. It's an East Haven, Connecticut Yeah, yeah One of the funniest things he ever said to me was after he did the show like once or twice or something We were on the phone. Yeah, he's like dude, and I can come do the podcast whenever I'm like I'm literally just 85 minutes outside of the city He like said that like I mean it was way beyond an hour. Yeah. Yeah I'm just I'm 85 minutes from the city so I can be there whenever dude Metro North is only a hundred forty eight minutes away He says I'm looking right now Nick. Yeah, dude. I'm a cool

378 minutes away. Yeah, I'll take a connecting flight from Syracuse. It's great, dude Yeah, it's uh, yeah, and then you like I never listened to the the other show But I remember you guys had him on and I would listen to that like the clips like you guys had Jean de Napoli on Yeah, like when he met him I was there for all that Oh really you know what I mean like Artie Lang like all that Bam Margera. Yeah, you know what I mean so That's how we that's how we met him. It's like I think he He DM'd me or somebody Really or something and he was like hey, he went BAM on the show and I said, yeah

and then And then yeah, we drove out the yonkers to Gene DiNapoli's like That shit yeah, whatever that was. I mean it was just I don't know what that venue was prior It was just like in a plaza like nail salon pizza shot. Yeah venue And you know what I mean, right and then he and we showed up and Vinnie was wearing like What is it? Is it thrashers? Thrasher? He used to always wear that shit Yeah, a thrasher hoodie on but then a matching thrasher hat like trashy as fuck Yeah, but that's like beyond trashy

I mean like even like the most white trash person is gonna be like well more in the Cookie Monster fitted I can't wear the Cookie Monster. It's got to be Stewie Griffin. You know what I mean? They're not gonna go like both It's like the kids that used to wear the my dog ate my homework t-shirt from Target or some shit you're like why would you wear that yeah yeah yeah you know but yeah I remember but then also a my dog ate my homework hat right like having both of them yeah yeah I remember I pulled up with Artie and this is when Artie was like had the fucked up nose and the thing on his nose, the blood stain thing, and we pulled up to Gene DiNapoli's club

and Artie was like, I was driving and Artie was in the passenger seat and he was like, he sees the club and he's like, Jesus fucking Christ. He's like, where the fuck am I playing tonight? And he's like, fucking Vinny, I swear to God. And it was just funny, man. Yeah.

Yeah, scumbag Vinny. He still loves you, man. He talks about you all the time. Yeah, well, scumbag Vinny. He still loves you, man. He talks about you all the time. Yeah, well he's such an interesting guy. He's very interesting. He's down in Disney now, Orlando, slinging Disney pins. Yeah, I can't tell if I'm sick or not. Adam's been like deathly ill for a week.

Oh really? And I think everybody's getting COVID, but I just feel kinda like run down and I can't tell if I'm like actually sick or if I have like a news fatigue. Really? Cause I get into like, you know, something will happen and I'm just like locked in, you know,

and it'll be days on end where I'm just refreshing to see if there's any more information. But yeah, since this shooting thing, I've just been. You think that was a hoax? A ho the shooting like in what way in what way like you think it was staged do you think was staged I didn't think so but my friend last night I was talking to him and he was like please I should have comic he used to be a comic like years ago but he's like a big Trump hater yeah and he was like come on I was like some blood ketchup packet. I, I, yeah. I mean, I fully encourage the like going off the deep end, like Democrat

conspiracy theories. Now I think it's like, cause now you see like conservatives that are mad about it. They're like, Oh, this is blue and on these guys are just as bad as Q and on. It's like, no, encourage, encourage that behavior. I think that's good. If someone actually tried to kill Trump because they thought the first shooting was a hoax, that would be the funniest motivation of all time. Yeah, no, I don't think it's, I mean, I've seen some of that, I've seen,

cause you know, he gets up and he goes, where are my shoes? I guess when the Secret Service tackled him, it knocked his shoes off. I didn't even know, I didn't hear about that. Well, every candidate is 185 years old, right? And I don't think you can, you get to a certain age and you can't wear like regular shoes anymore because it'll cut off the circulation of your feet

and they'll have to be removed. And so I think they all wear like slippers. Joe Biden has like, he wears like, you can see it when he goes upstairs, he has like special old people shoes. That look like dress shoes. So when the Secret Service tackled him, they knocked him over.

And I saw people on Twitter saying like, oh well he was hiding the blood packet in his shoes. So when they tackled him, he took his shoes off and pulled the blood packet out and put it on his ear because obviously you can't just keep it in his pocket. That wouldn't make any sense. He has to hide the blood packet in his shoes because they're gonna check him.

They're gonna say, okay, Mr. President, empty your pockets. We need to make sure you're not hiding. I saw someone else say, it was fake blood, which he has access to because of his time in the WWE. So they're under the impression that fake blood is a controlled substance. This is not, you need a license.

You have to be like some kind of government contractor to get it, to pass a background check. You to know Vince McMahon. You got to know Vince McMahon. Yeah. Yeah, exactly Did you beat Vince McMahon in the billion on it billionaires face? Oh, he's like listen. I need a favor I'm gonna need a packet of fake blood and they're like, I don't know. It feels like I'm getting in over my head here I don't know. I like just promise me this you're not gonna carry it around in your pocket and he says no I'm gonna hide it in my shoes. And when the shooter intentionally misses, kills two other people,

when he intentionally misses me and kills other people, then I'm going to take my shoes off quickly in front of all of the cameras, and there'll be multiple angles so everyone can see it. So we need to make sure we nail my shoes coming off and then me reaching into the shoes and getting the blood packet and putting it on my ear. When you put it that way, that sounds crazy.

It's crazy, it is crazy. Yeah, did you see the speech last night? I didn't, yeah. No? I didn't see that one. But no, the hoax thing is crazy. I mean, like, I don't, cause the thing, these things happen and then the, I mean, the the the host thing is crazy. I mean like that I don't Because the thing these things happen and then I mean the problem with any conspiracy theory is like Something starts to make sense and there has to be a little bit of like conjecture in your head

but once you make one connection then you're like well, I'm an expert now, it's like I have to Right continue down this path and looking for ways to justify it because there's other people on the other side They're saying as you see I saw somebody is like his conservatives are it. Because there's other people on the other side there saying, I saw somebody, conservatives are now saying, because there's a picture of the bullet flying through the air. Like one of them. Is that legit?

It looks legit to me. And it's like, the guy was using it, he was shooting outside in the afternoon, and so he has a, I'm assuming he's shooting wide open, so he has like a one, he has a very fast shutter speed, and that's why he's able to capture the bullet. And I used to see people saying, using that shutter speed is unheard of.

And it's like, well, no, it's not. I mean, it's like- Speed is on what? The shutter speed of the camera. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah, now that I'm talking, you don't seem like a big conspiracy guy.

I mean, I don't now that I'm talking you don't seem like a big conspiracy guy uh I mean I can be I don't like what like what's a conspiracy? You know, yeah I'm not a big conspiracy like earth is flat kind of shit I guess like five years ago you could have called me a conspiracy theorist Because I would have been like yeah bill clinton has his friend that has an island that he invites rich people to to fuck children on. Right. And then people are like, that's crazy. But now everyone just knows that. Right. You know what I mean?

Came out to be true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I mean, I would, the amount of stuff that happened with that shooting where it's like, this just a glaring I don't understand how they missed this guy he was on the roof for 20 minutes you know yeah I mean it's like it's it's got to be a level of in conflict I mean you can't write off the idea of incompetence yeah I don't know how they missed him they didn't miss him well I mean like how they didn't see the shooter on the roof because other they

did see the shooter on the roof right other they did see the shooter on the roof, right? That they they flagged him as like a suspicious person an hour before the shooting They saw him he came to the event and then I guess I still don't have all the information But he it's not clear because I just look at like Twitter and then you know, I mean It's very easy for there to be bullshit, you know on Twitter But but but it seems like he came to the event tried to go through the metal Detectors or was at least near the metal detectors or the rangefinder interesting right so they saw him with a rangefinder And then he went over to the building there's another person that was just scanning the event taking videos of it like a Civilian and he's in the background you can see him by the building looking up at the building

You know looking around the venue, but they saw him He disappeared he came back with a backpack They took a picture of him There's one picture of the guy where it looks like it's kind of like fast motion and his hand is down on concrete And it looks like that picture is you know, it's taken from above Yeah And it's either inside the building where apparently there was local police like the local police is like counter sniper team Inside the building that he was on they took a picture of him crawling around and saying hey, what's this guy?

But no they they this was clear that there was like a guy that they were looking at what I don't know is At an event like that there could be 50 people that they're doing that with. You know what I mean? Like, we know that, I know that they, I understand that they know that he was there, but I also don't know if they were like, look at this guy. Oh, look at this guy. Oh, look at that guy. Oh, look at this guy. But they did know he was on the roof 10 minutes prior.

The question is like, I would imagine like, if not, there should be some kind of, like, either, like, uh, uh, override channel on whatever they, whatever the communication is between all the law enforcement, there should be some kind of, like, red line, like, hey, there's a gun, and then the team closest to the former president pulls him off the stage. Right. You know, you don't, because there's a question as, oh oh Why didn't they take the shot until they shoot that's valid? I mean you don't want to just shoot somebody it could have been just some fucking idiot kid It was like oh

I want a better view when he gets up on the roof with a pair of binoculars you can't shoot that person Right cuz if you do that's that's like a big problem. Yeah, it's a big problem But at the very least if somebody's crawling on the roof, you pull the person off the stage and say, hey, we'll be back in 10 minutes, we have to figure something out. Right. You know, there's a security issue, we have to figure something out.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay, guys, introduction. Talk about which summer Olympics events. Who the fuck is watching the Olympics right now? I didn't even know it was on, holy shit. Is it on or is it coming up? Are you a gymnastics fanatic?

Do you tear up watching medal ceremonies? Have track and field events inspired you to go for a run? Who do they imagine, I don't understand who, is that supposed to be like relatable to most people? They want the host to say that. Like guys, like you, I cry while watching the Olympics medal ceremonies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In fact, I watched the track and field event and it inspired me to go for a run. No, let's abandon the Summer Olympics. Today we're talking about Liquid IV, which, and this is an annoying part, they want a personal endorsement. This is the problem is we have sponsors where they like, oh, use the product and tell me if you like it. And they all send stuff, right?

The problem is if I like something or Adam likes something, we take it home and then you don't see it on the show. And that's actually what happened with the liquid IV is it's at my house and I've been, it's in my water bottle here already. So I don't have any of the actual product to tear open and pour into my water bottle. Have you tried it?

Yeah, no, it's good. But that's why I said everyone I know is getting sick and this is the thing you also have to be careful about because it doesn't prevent you from getting sick but staying hydrated is important across the board. Right. And then, you know, it's like a little, you know, it's like, you know, like,

oh, I'll take some vitamins, you know? Yeah. And then that'll prevent me from getting, Sick. You know, HIV. I had a big weekend and I don't know, you know. I'll take some vitamins and I'll be fine But no, I've been drinking the the liquid IV out of

Like in the arm. No, and that's the other thing that's funny about the name to me liquid IV because that's what that's like a Well, it's redundant, right? That's an IV is already liquid Right, you know what I mean? They mean drinkable IV. It's like being like caffeine drinkable IV would be a stupid name, right? Yeah, yeah, but liquid IV it's like it's a packet that you pour into water you pour it into your water bottle You shake it up and then it's got It's got like, you like electrolytes and stuff in it. I want some.

Yeah, yeah, it's good. They sent me a big bag. And I'm hoping that they like this read because I want more of it for free. I want more too. So walk listeners through the process. How easy is mixing a convenience stick into, I mean, come on.

Come on, who, like what moron? Is like I can't, wow, I mean that sounds great, but I can't mix. I don't have the ability to put powder into a bottle and shake it up, of course it's easy. Right, right, right. Of course it's easy. Yeah.

Yeah. Is this the actual ad read? This is the actual ad. You course. It's easy. Yeah. Yeah Is this the actual ad read this is the actual shit on the yeah, I'm not sure well, it's just I mean My job is to sell the product right and it's easy when it went because sometimes people send us stuff We'll have sponsors to send this stuff and it's like I'm never gonna use this This is the dumbest thing in the world like what I can't do that I'm never gonna use this. This is the dumbest thing in the world. Like what? I can't do that. Not on this one, but they'll send me stuff

and then it's like, you know, then it's a, then you really do have to be like, no, I mean, it's great. Like, you know, this fucking stuff. But when I actually use the thing, those end up being the worst reads because I'm like, I like it. Yeah. It's good. I like it. It tastes good.

You ever feel like a sellout where you're like, ah, I don't even. A sell Sell out of what I don't have fucking integrity fuck People complain about podcast. Oh, it's all reads now. It's right Were you under the impression of this was like art or like people were? doing podcasting we're like, oh that guy's like He's doing this for the people This is the dumb. This is like a stain on history.

You know what I mean? It's like, and the amount of money that we're all making and it's like, you know, it's like, they would complain in the Gilded Age because people were making too much money, but they were building railroads and skyscrapers. You know what I mean yeah like it's not it's not 15 people like it's not and you can I want

to see like a like a architect style matrix room and it's the last it's the ten minutes of this podcast prior to me starting this ad read up where I'm saying like and what the hell was he doing on the roof? And then the screen over, Rich Foster, and what the hell was he doing on the roof? Fucking Shane, Matt, everyone. We're all saying the same thing. There's no difference.

And it's just now it's this industry where people say, I am just repeating things I saw on Twitter. And I have the energy to do it. It's important to stay hydrated when you do that and I do it with Liquid IV. It's very important.

Describe what you like about the variety and true to fruit flavor of Liquid IV. So here's the flavors, we've got pear, strawberry, lemonade, sugar-free white peach, sugar-free raspberry melon, and lemon lime. I gotta be honest with you, I was not looking at the, I didn't, I was just.

The flavors. Yeah, I mean, I just, I down like probably five of these a day, and I'm pissing constantly. And yeah, so I go through them. I haven't had one yet, cause you know how some things are like, especially with candy, where you're like, oh, it's all, and then you get one like a jelly bean or something. Yeah. And it's like, oh, cat piss. You know, and you're like, especially with candy where you're like, oh, it's all, and then you get one, like a jelly bean or something,

and it's like, oh, cat piss. You know, and you're like, why is this flavor, why is this one of the flavors? Or like Starburst, you know, everyone has one they like or don't like. But for the most part, all of these, I'd say, are great. What's your favorite flavor? I don't have one, because I said,

I wasn't looking at the, yeah. I was just staying hydrated now talk about activities that pair well with liquid IV during a hot day Or a warm night One googling Thomas Crooks over and over again for 16 hours straight Saying to yourself. Okay. I gotta stop. I got it. I'm gotta to yourself, okay, I gotta stop. I gotta I'm gotta stop this now Yeah drinking some liquid IV playing doom eternal until 4 a.m. That work that was good for me. That's good That was one of the activities Peeling yourself off the couch to say I'm gonna get some exercise today and going for a 10-minute walk

Going for a quick 10-minute walk burning off a cool 57 calories according to the Apple watch Yeah, coming home drains and guess what liquid IV time now. I'm hydrated Yeah, spending four and a half weeks saying I think I'm getting sick. Even though you're not you're just a bum You're just lazy. I've been doing that. All right Probably be more sick if you didn't drink the IV. Yeah. Right? Is the hydration multiplier perfect before, during, or after workouts? Well, I don't... you can't ask me that. You have to tell me. What is this? A quiz? I would imagine you would want to stay hydrated during a workout. You work out? I was back on track for a while,

but then I fell off like a month ago, but I gotta be back in. You looked like muscular last time I saw you. When was that? Probably 15 years ago. Six months ago. I was like, he looks like he's been working out. You know, no, honestly, no.

The answer is no. I go to the gym. I try to work out, I try to, I try to work out. I've had trouble getting back into the gym. When COVID hit, I couldn't go lift weights anymore. So I just kinda like focused on diet and got like lean. And then when I went back to lifting weights, I was 33,

and I dieted off a bunch of like, I changed my body composition, I got lean, but I also lost a bunch of like strength and muscle mass. So getting back into the gym, and as you get, I don't know how old you are, you're like what, 27? 29. 29, yeah.

After I turned like, yeah, 30, it's like, it's not, it's, you can still build strength, but you're like connective tissue, I feel, and this is not, I have no idea, but it feels like it takes longer to recover Yeah, your testosterone is probably a little lower. It's not the testosterone It's like you can still build muscle but like your joints like your joints take So if you go do a set of heavy squats when you were 19, maybe your fucking knees are ready to go two days later

But when you're older, it's like, you know, yeah, you made me to make sure you warm up and you take time to do that And so I got back into the gym. I'm not gonna do a spot for another product, but it's not a competing product, but Anyways, it doesn't matter the it Does it help does liquid IV help you recover after a long day trying to keep up with the kids? I don't have kids. I don't know but probably I Got no kids. Probably if you have children, I don't know, but probably. I got no kids. Probably, if you have children,

you definitely need this stuff. It would be good for microcine, and honestly, he would benefit from switching to liquid IV from his diet of what I can only assume is just gallons of chocolate milk every day. Yeah. Looking at him. I look at him and I'm like, that's what?

Three, four gallons of chocolate milk daily? Yeah. Yeah, and he still wants more. Yeah, you can't get enough Talk about why you love traveling with liquid IV. I love when the TSA agent pulls me aside and they say what is this? What is this? Yeah, and I'm like, it's a secret. I can't tell you and then they pull me into the back room and Yeah, and I'm like it's a secret. I can't tell you and then they pull me into the back room and They're they're questioning me about it. I'm wearing my Hezbollah t-shirt You know I'm threatening people so it's mainly about that And then they say okay look we were going to arrest you but because you have this liquid IV We know you're either a patriot or you know so I don't know something like that Love traveling with liquid IV, especially on the road, you know, you got a you got a before the show

You got to take a massive amount of creative and that's probably not good for you. You take creative Yeah on the road really, you know, it's good. Well because I don't like performing. I don't like doing stand-up. I mean I like The process but I don't I don't like being on stage you seem like you don't like doing anything no that's not true no no yeah I like doing stuff a lot it's just that I don't I don't I've never you know people like like love before me I don't get like a high from it it's like it really really no yeah it really just feels like a crush for like an hour no really yeah get the fuck out of here no it just feels like I have crush for like an hour. No, really? Yeah, it's like the fuck out here No, it just feels like having to go out in front of a room and talk to like 300 people

It still feels like that it always now and so and then like the reality is I did stand up for It was like the main thing I focused on probably like the first eight years of my career But a lot of that I was drinking and then once I got sober I kind of moved away from stand-up because I Like it just doesn't it's not comfortable. It's not comfortable to go out on stage and then Literally when I started touring again in 2022 I fell off the wagon and then I was like drinking on the road And then I can't do that. Yeah, and then yeah uh, yeah, I mean, it's always, yeah, I just, I don't, yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, like, yeah, it's just nerves.

I don't. Are you back on the wagon? Um, yeah, other than taking and create them before I go on stage and stick the edge off, cause that one, like in your head, if you drink and you go on stage, you'll think like, oh, I'm like, oh, this is easy. I'm doing great. But then you watch it back and you're like, oh, I'm fucking trash. This is like embarrassing You know, it doesn't make you better and then I don't see I mean the crater might be the same thing

but it does feel like it's a little easier to think and kind of like get through things and But when you when you Come up with like a new idea you've never said before and you're on the road Yeah, and you do it and it kills you don't get like a high off of that. I Mean it is it does feel good. You're like, oh good that works, but it's it's mainly yeah I mean, it's just it's not a natural thing to go on stage and talk to people, right? It's not and it's funny too because after shows I'll say hi to people and they're like, oh you must really this and I'm like No, this part is normal. this is like a normal interaction this

I have no problem with you know what I mean like I have no problem like just talking to people outside of a show but going on stage the whole thing like okay here's things I've said before it just makes less and less sense as I get older but anyways liquid IV takes the edge off. It makes it work a lot better. Do you carry extra sticks with you to share with family? Okay, I'm not, you know, it's good stuff. It'll keep you hydrated. It's got electrolytes in it.

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because I feel like that's. Oh, because that's usually what it's for. I didn't, I wasn't saying that. That's what I see, you know, from other people because I have it. Then other people are like, oh hey, yeah, that stuff's great if you're. Hangover.

But I think they want to go more the sports kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, diversify a little bit. Yeah, yeah, the sports thing. So three times the electrolytes, it's good stuff. Hydration multiplier, fucking cotton candy. Proprietary amino acid, allulose blend is liquid IV. Here's the thing too, you can tell, I'm getting through these words pretty easily,

which I don't know if it has B12 in there, but I definitely was deficient. And then I got my, I think got my B12 back up. I'm finding it easier to speak anyways back to the show So what I was saying is how the hell was this guy on the roof for 20 minutes? That was the longest ad read ever. Yeah, I thought you're gonna do that the whole show is like a joke That was like QVC right there, dude. Yeah. Yeah, that's great But yeah, no, I do love, I do love calling it a hoax.

I do love saying that. That's the other thing too is that people saying like, oh, you know, if an AR-15 style bullet, it would have blown his whole head off, you know? You think so? And it's like, do you know that? Are you just assuming that that would have happened? Yeah.

Yeah. Just the assertions of what a bullet would do to his ear What's weird is like I was watching the speech last night and people in the crowd were wearing the band-aid thing the white napkin thing yeah, and People online were like you can't tell me this isn't a cult and I'm like It seems like supporting people in line you were like to get in what happened when line where no online like oh online Like they were responding. I thought you were waiting to get into the no. I was not in Milwaukee But like you know they weren't that to like support make him feel like normal But it's like if a kid has cancer people shave their head. Yeah, it's like that kind of thing

Yeah, I think that's stupid. I think it's stupid. It's stupid, but I don't think it's like a cult It's but it's stupid which is worse. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's stupid. I think it's stupid. It's stupid, but I don't think it's like a cult It's but it's stupid which is worse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah What about the guy there had to been people that were like at the shooting that were like high or tripping Yeah, that must there's one angle. There's one angle. That's like the perfect angle of the like video. It's a guy That's like the perfect angle of the like video. It's a guy 20 feet away and he's filming Trump from this side like where he turns and where the bullet would have hit and He's filming him and right before the guy shoots. He turns the camera to himself and he's like Like just fucking completely ruins

Would would have been can you imagine the Zapruder film? It just turns it around and he's like we're on vacation in Dallas. Oh Fuck yeah, right fuck Dude, that's so funny or the guy that like went to the hot dog stand Yeah, something or the bathroom. My favorite guy of the whole thing too. And that's the other thing, it was all the conspiracy theories of brewing is people take the main video, the one we saw on the CNN live feed,

and they're zooming in on people in the back. And it'll be like, I mean, they're Trump voters. So this is like a 97 year old woman who has brain damage from fireworks smoke. And she's like, there's shots somewhere. like a gun goes off and you can't maybe it's the sound is echoing off of like every object around you so you know maybe she doesn't even know what's happening but you know there's people like what you know and they're like look at this person they're not look they're not ducking at all

that's who did exactly I saw that you know like positive look they're not ducking at all. That's who did exactly. I saw that, you know, they're like positive Don't look she's not even responding. Look at her. Yeah, you're like, dude. That's not how it goes, bro That's so funny, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I think that seals the deal for him Like when the election yeah, I don't know about that. You don't really think honestly, which which what? I don't think any deal has been sealed yet But the post debate reaction from like the media and democrat Donor class has been kind of fucking insane. They're doing everything they can like I mean, I don't know I don't know anything about anything but

Biden should be the nominee. It's like his debate performance. Yes, that was fucking terrible But like I thought we were all lying to ourselves about his obvious decline should be the nominee. It's like his debate performance, yes, that was fucking terrible, but like, I thought we were all lying to ourselves about his obvious decline. You know what I mean? This was an issue in 2020. And the debate performance is the worst so far, but like, that's the candidate, you know?

Just be like, yeah, it was a bad debate performance, you know, let's move on. But immediately post debate, the CNN panel panel is like we need to put him down We need to send them to a farm where you can live with other dogs, you know It's like they were they want to kill him basically and that has not let up, you know And it's like now it's every single day He's saying something embarrassing and they you know, even People that were his supporters kind of hyperfixate on it.

And now they're really pushing this guy out of the fucking race without a clear replacement lined up. First of all, it has to be Kamala Harris. You can't, if you just skip her, especially, I talked to my dad about it, he's like, I don't know, I really think if you got two white guys, and I'm like, what are you just, now you're just racist.

He's like, people will vote for that. I'm like, what people? What do you mean? He's like, maybe Gavin Newsom and Larry Hogan. He's like, you know, like a Gavin Newsom, Larry Hogan unity ticket. And I'm like, you're insane. Who, first, do you know who Larry Hogan is ticket, and I'm like you're insane. Yeah, what who?

First do you know Larry Hogan is I know he's a former governor of Maryland, but he looks like a pig demon He looks like he has his nipples pierced, and he lives in hell and then his job is to like punish Like the gays sent to hell that's his demon role right. I like this guy already. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty good. But I don't know. I mean, yeah, the reaction to Biden's debate performance is shocking. It's like they're just doing everything they can to push him out of the race. This is- Yes. Yeah. Yeah. This is when I knew he was fucked when they introduced him at the debate and he's walking up to the podium also and he's like, Hey, thanks for having me. It's good to be here. And I was like, Oh, he doesn't know no one's here. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Well, I think he was saying that to Jake Tapper. Oh, yeah. I mean, there was a lot.

And then he had this interview with BET yesterday, right? Yeah. And he's talking, he couldn't remember Lloyd Austin's name. And I don't know what the question was. And he goes, it's about treating people with dignity. For example, look at all the heat I'm getting for who I named as Secretary of Defense, the black man. No. And then he goes, anyways, Ketanji Brown. He just says, he just says he just says Kataji Brown

Like he just first he calls Lloyd Austin the black man, you know, but it's here's the thing I think like why people voted for Donald Trump, even though he's lying It's that there's a there's a type of negative charisma that he has where it's not it's not that the people muddle the idea of factuality and the truth with the idea of authenticity and this is why Vinnie Beadle is a great example of this no here's what I mean because it being authentic does not mean being honest it does not mean being honest about material reality being authentic means that this is a person that people can have an easy read on and they're not

trying if they are trying to manipulate them it's because their their attempts at that manipulation is is perceived in sort of a monolithic way zinni like vini is a vini is it is comeback vini lies to people vini all will like, you know, scam people and take their money.

But that's because he's scumbag Vinny. He embraces it. He embrace, not only does he embrace it, but it is, that is his identity. Yeah. You know? And that's something that people can cleave to in a weird way. This will sound crazy, but I think you need to try,

first of all, there's all the talk about Biden dropping out. He might drop out today I don't know. Yeah, you know, but like full weight should go behind Joe Biden and after the debate performance They should have had something more embarrassing, you know If that BET interview came out where he's calling Lloyd Austin the black man right after the debate performance Calling Zelensky Putin right after the debate performance, that kind of stuff, if you do enough of it, eventually it will ingratiate people to the idea of Joe Biden, the senile moron, you know? And then it creates a sense of authenticity. They're like, wow, this guy can't get a fucking sentence out, right? I can trust that I can trust that aspect of him I can trust that that is his identity and

then on separate from that you have a platform you have policy that he's running on and the reality is it's like the economy is doing pretty good all things considered you know it's like is it yeah I don't think like there's a question about whether there's still a soft landing versus, you know, like a recovery. You know, we've avoided a recession. I don't know if that's happening or not. I don't know anything about economics,

but the reality is, is like, the stock market looks pretty good. The jobs report comes out every month. There's more, they revise it down, you know, a month later, but the jobs are still being added, unemployment's creeping up, and then there's a debt crisis, but we've had a debt crisis for a very long time. So I don't like, if, if, if the Biden administration can figure out, I don't think there's going to be a resolution

with like the Israel-Palestine stuff or Ukraine before the election, but the economy is good, you know? Yeah. And if you, if all all Biden is is just like a two million year old retard that says dumb shit every single day, if he can laugh about it, which he does, you know, they're trying, they're trying. He's like, oh, you know, I had a bad performance or I'm not, you know, I'm not like, you know, I'm not a spring chicken anymore.

If I think if there's a way you can just sort of navigate that and, and create this idea of Joe Biden being a stupid grandpa with like a good platform, I think, you know, yeah, he could win the election. How do you think Vinnie would do running for president? Um, bad. Yeah. Probably pretty bad. I'll be pretty bad.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you voting for Trump or you voting for Biden? I've never voted for anyone. Oh, okay. You have you, who you vote for? Yeah, I vote, voting for Biden? I've never voted for anyone. Oh, okay. Yeah, I vote, but I mean I always throw my vote away. So you just just just yeah, I mean I would probably vote for Jill Stein, I guess in November, which it'll be me and what five other people. Right. Yeah. Oh, okay. Today's episode is brought to you by Fume. That's It's pronounced fume and that's F you with an umlaut M and

You've seen it before if you watch the show we have it on the show It looks like Adams taken the other one home, but basically it's like this little heavy weighted Flavored air device so it's got these cartridges you put in. You feel like James Bond assembling the thing. You put the cartridge in there, you put it on, you suck air through it, and then it flavors the air. And there's no chemicals or anything. It's just, it's like oils or something in the cartridge that just sort of flavors the air.

And then it's got a choke on the front so it can restrict it so you can get a little pull. So it's say it's like a oral fixation and then the the no, I mean literally Yeah, cuz that's that's half that's half the smoke half of addiction is yeah exactly And so and then it's got a thing, you know, you can click it's like a fidget kind of spinner also So there's like a tactile element to it, right? Um but yeah, I used it in the past and it helped me create

better habits and break some bad ones I guess. And we really value your creativity and humor and we love your work and you know your audience best. No they don't. They don't love. Nobody. Nobody Yeah Nobody yeah, yeah, I tell you what if if I'm the Secret Service And I got my gun aimed on that guy, and I'm like is this guy a threat you know yeah? And then he takes one shot and go. I don't know this is looking pretty bad Bam bam two more shots. He kills two people, and I'm like I think we got a problem here, right? Should we shoot this guy that's shooting? And then bam bam bam bam now we're up to maybe shot six and this is where after he fired six shots I think there was 11 more seconds before they finally, you know shot him back, right?

But let's say we're at second seven, right and we're like, I don't know I think we should probably kill this guy with a gun on the roof who at second seven, right? And we're like, I don't know. I think we should probably kill this guy with a gun on the roof who's shooting constantly. And then I see him, he pulls out a fume, and I'm like, nah, this guy's good. Let him rock. Yeah, let him go. Yeah, I like that.

Yeah, because he's got good habits. Yeah. Yeah. Thomas Crooks. What if that was the only information they had on there like he has no social media presence. We don't know what his politics are, but he had a fume. He had a dead net remote detonator.

A lot of stuff on the do not say list, but not that. Guess who forgot to put don't talk about Thomas Crooks on the do not say list. So that's on you guys if you have a problem with this copy. Yeah, Fume, I like the thing. They're cool. They've got different little cartridges. You can try them out. Honestly, the fidget part is the part I like the most and it've got different little cartridges you can try them out.

Honestly, the fidget part is the part I like the most and it's got a nice heft to it. It's got a nice... Oh really? Yeah, like imagine if I was like a 1940s detective, if I had to knock out the great mouse detective, you know what I mean? I would use that thing. I'd sneak up and I'm like, what the hell? What are you doing?

Yeah. Because it's too small to knock out a human with. But it's got the weight that would be perfect to just clock like a little British mouse detective over the back of the head with, a rat again or something. Yeah, so I go to fume.com. Oh, here we go. There's a to fume.com. Oh, promo code Thomas Crooks. There's a second page here.

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That was quick. Yeah, there's no nicotine or anything, it's not addictive. It's very important to stress that it's just, it's like, it's like, uh, it's literally just air. They just add flavor to the air. Really? And then add. So it's just air? No, there's no. Oh. It's literally just air they just add flavor to the air really then No, there's no Just air just air Yeah

It's just air and it flavors the air and then it adds like a Constriction at the end of the thing so that you get like a little get something you get like a pole. Yeah, you get a pole Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they're good. They work try it out. Let me one Yeah, bring it to the next the next rally, you know, maybe All right, we're back we're back talking about the shooting Yes, so would do you have any theories about it? Cuz that's the thing you really I would I think you know focus on more is is that there's no information on this guy And how did he get up on the roof that seems like a security failure and yeah you know why did it take so long for them to do

anything and yeah why they let him stand back up after I don't think it was a hoax I think it's cool I think it's really fascinating how he turned his head though yeah at the at that split second and if he didn't it would have just gone right through his head yeah I mean that's crazy dude if he didn't it would have just gone right through his head. Yeah. I mean that's crazy dude. Yeah. I don't uh I don't, was his whole ear blown off or is it just like a whole it's like an ear piercing? Yeah it went in and wouldn't it blow the ear off? That's what people are saying but it's like explain why it would blow the ear off. Well because when a bullet hits anything usually you see it go pshhh. Well not when it hits anything when it hits specific things right I guess it depends on the mass of the object that it's

hitting yeah there's a lot of stuff I mean it's when you have you shot a gun before yeah I wear a shooting range yeah and what you shot it like a target presumably yeah and it was paper yeah and what did the bullet do to the paper that blow up yeah right yeah yeah that interesting. I mean there's nothing in your ear. There's nothing for it to like it's not like it's gonna Tumble or blow up. I mean, yeah, you shoot somebody in the head. It's like gathering all your fucking like brain mass and your skull and Right, you know blowing everything out. He seems pretty like humbled Yeah, well is he though? like just kind of his like

reaction like on camera and stuff. He seems like kind of like he's been like a new man, you know what I mean? Like kind of like divine intervention kind of thing. That's probably a thing where it takes a while. I mean, maybe it doesn't. Maybe it's like, you know, you think oh this is a near-death experience and you can understand it intellectually, but it's also like, well, nothing happened. You know what I mean? Sometimes people are affected in that way and sometimes they aren't. There's people that are like, oh my God.

When 9-11 happened, I was planning a trip to Cancun in September and unfortunately, I didn't have the money so I canceled, but I was this close to dying. Because I would have had to fly You know they get a little bit so it into this whole fucking thing And then some other people they get shot in the fucking ear and they're like, oh damn What's funny is that God nothing happened people that you like even hate his guts. They were reposting that fist pump picture Yeah, they're like I hate this guy, but this is pretty badass

Yeah, you know I mean, so I think he's going to win over people like that too, a little bit. I don't know. I mean, I don't, again, I don't know anything about polling, but it's like, I don't, he was a pretty unpopular candidate. It's not like, it's not like, you know, if I, if there, this was, if there is some kind of deeper plot, I imagine that they were perceiving there would be some kind of like, they would have to declare martial law after this.

There would be a lot of retaliatory violence, probably. Yeah, I was talking about it on stage the other night. I was like, Trump got shot and some lady goes, hey, he got nicked. And I was like like that's wild dude yeah yeah he got nicked right like which is which is being shot right with a bullet right I'm like lady if you got shot you'd be fucking posting about it every year yeah like one year ago I got shot you know what I mean I was like just saying he got nicked. It's like crazy, dude. Yeah, I don't know I It'd be funny like if he tries to I'm surprised he hasn't tried to like sell parts of his ear. I Don't think they recovered

Like little bits. Yeah, that's the other thing cuz even like Keith Olbermann and Joyanne Reed are like on I don't does Keith Olbermann even have a show anymore. I like on, I don't, does Keith Olbermann even have a show anymore? I don't know. It seems like he's just in like a, he just lives in like a children's play room in someone's house in Santa Monica. Every time I see Keith Olbermann, he's like, this is the end of democracy. And that's like, there's why is there like the hungry caterpillar behind you? He's like, and just like, there's, you know, this like sunny play room.

You know what I mean? Does he have a, she's not on TV anymore. I don't watch any news. I don't watch TV. Is he, is the, is the, he does not have a show. He's got a podcast and he's got, yeah, exactly. And like, and he lives in a room with a carpet that has like a city on it with roads.

And he's like just playing with toy cars all day long. He's got the alphabets. This is fascism. But him and Joy Ann Reed have both said that, that they're like, oh yeah. I mean, Joy Ann Reed was like, you know, it's like, it's crazy that it has been two days and we still have no medical information.

We have not heard from a doctor about like what his condition is, about his ongoing treatment. It just seems a little weird to me that we don't know what actually happened. It's like, well, he got shot in the ear. And it's like, yeah, but we don't have any confirmation of that. It's like, there's a video of it happening

from nine different angles. There's up close pictures of his ear bleeding. You know, and they're like, yeah, but we don't know if it was glass from a teleprompter. Here's pictures of the teleprompter. They're fully intact. Right. There's not, which teleprompter?

Where did the glass, what happened, what are you talking about? It's like, what more proof do you need? And they'll just keep coming back to, oh, well we don't, you know, it's just very weird. We don't have any, and then they're fixating on this thing there it's like oh well it's if if the teleprompter got shot and glass hit him then I guess it's all the whole thing sort of did the teleprompter get shot no okay no he definitely got shot

in the air I feel like when he does outside speeches now there's gonna be a whole shield of plexiglass well that's the other thing he does the outside speeches because he like it costs way more to use like an arena or something, and he just doesn't pay his bills. So there's like he owes all this money to different venues, even for like, I think, 2016. Yeah. So they do the outside events, even though they're they're much harder to secure because he's just scumbag veneering. Basically. Yeah. That's the other thing about it is like he's like like like Democrats are trying to figure out a way to say it

But it's like this thing happens and it's bad and you shouldn't there's no room for political violence But at the same time it's like he's still Donald Trump, right? You know, cuz he didn't which I would not put it past like it makes sense that that he would want to be killed But my perception of Donald Trump has always been that like he's he's not actually a populist it's like he can he does what Fox News did for ten years which is you know say oh well it's immigrants and you know these things and they want to train they want trans people sucking off your kid in elementary school and he's like he just kind of fear mongers and he has the but then when he gets in the White House it's like his Wall

Street friends and Jared Kushner dictating foreign policy and what happens and it's like that, if there was a deep state I don't understand what their problem with Donald Trump would actually be. You know what I mean? So it's like well who, who would if like, I don't think political assassinations happen just because it's like Democrats and Republicans, you know, that's not really the way it works It's deeper than that. Yeah, you're really into politics, huh? No, no No, it's just fun

That's the thing is like you with any conspiracy theories because you asked me if I wasn't I am but you got Yeah, you gotta always find your own, You know, it's like doing impressions. You know, you can like, yeah, engage in the popular ones, but you gotta find your own where you're like, well, but you know what my thing is. Right. You know, and then people, you always see people that are new to conspiracy theories,

they'd be like, you know what I think? You're just hiding a blood packet in a, it's like you read that a million times on the internet today. Right, you regurgitated. That's not what you think you're stealing conspiracy You're stealing it from a bunch of people as dumb as you said that it's like a hack. Yeah to just yeah. Yeah Yeah, that's um Yeah, that's all there is a there is a creative and the other thing too is I'm a humanist You know, I believe in the creative spirit and I think that conspiracy theories

Reflect something positive about humanity. I think there is a creative aspect of it. It's it's it's free will Well, it's because people are you know, they're driven by narrative, which I think is a creative will I think is like a good thing even though it does like I think that also leads to like, you know gossip and and Social media harassment and stuff, but the the genesis of it I think is a good thing about people Yeah, the gossiping is fun. People can't help it Yeah, no matter what happens like you've ever had it Someone tells you a secret and they're like keep this between you and me and then afterwards you just call some I don't I don't think

There's ever been a secret I've ever kept in my entire life. That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm immediately telling 15 people and saying I really don't think he wanted me telling Literally never Never this is how you disassociate you go. You didn't hear this from me. Yeah. Which is basically saying, spread it like wildfires, don't say my name. Yeah, now people can't avoid a hot piece of gossip, man. It's just human nature, you know what I mean? Well, what do you think?

I'm desperate, I feel like I've just yelled at you for an hour. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta come on, man. I didn't sleep well, I'm a little hypomanic. I was up till, I got back into Doom Eternal

which I never finished in 2020. What is that, a game? Oh really? Yeah, what a... It's a lot of fun. Yeah, I don't know, I talked to Scumbag Vinny before this. Pete, you play Doom Eternal? We'll just, I'm podcasting with Pete now.

No, I haven't played Doom Eternal. I've been playing fucking Mass Effect. Oh, amazing. You ever play Mass Effect? No I'm not a big video game guy. You made him what? How did you make him? Have you played Mass Effect before? Yes. Oh, OK. And you're playing one? I'm playing one. I like to play one.

Amazing. Yeah. You don't go out at all, right? To the clubs. No, because whenever I see you. Does somebody say that? No, just because I never see you. You never leave your apartment, huh?

Well, you're like Bigfoot. You know what I mean? Yeah. Anytime anyone sees you, they're like Bigfoot, you know what I mean? Yeah. Anytime anyone sees you, they're like, oh shit. Well, I just don't really do stand, like I don't like, I mean, I do stand up, I go on the road and I do it, which by the way, I will be in Dallas at Hyenas, at Fort Worth, in Hyenas next weekend.

Oh, great club. Yeah, 27, 28, it's great clubs, a lot of fun. Fort Worth stinks, but the club's great. Yeah. Yeah. The big room, yeah. Fort Worth stinks, but the club's great. Yeah. Yeah. The big room, yeah. Yeah, especially, I was, that might be, it's just, there's nothing down there.

Really? Yeah, we're around where the club is. Yeah, I did that a couple months ago. It's like, it's crazy having like tour, cause I didn't really tour heavily, like really at all, until two years ago. Really? And like going around the country,

and there's like so many cities where they have these big downtown areas that are just empty. Really? And it's like, does anyone live in America? I don't like what? It's just the same thing in every city. I mean, they're similar, but yeah, they're just, yeah.

It's just like kind of, yeah, that and then I will be at the Lincoln Theater in DC and the Beacon Theater in Boston and those are sometime in September. Oh wow, look at that. Can I will be at the Lincoln Theater in DC and the Beacon Theater in Boston and those are sometime in so wow look at that. Can I plug something? Yes, absolutely Come out to the Comedy Store August 6, LA PA baby It's a Tuesday and then my 30th birthday show at the stand August 11th Sunday. So that's gonna be a great show Yeah, I'm turning 30 and yeah I used to go to AA meetings when I was like 18 19. I never went to college. See that's, and first of all 18 year olds aren't alcoholics. Yeah they tricked me dude. You're 18 years old. I went to an AA meeting and they had me fill out like a thing like yes no do you like has this ever happened to you and if you get like three or more? Yeses? They're like you're an alcoholic. Yeah, you know I mean, so they brainwashed me. Yeah, and my buddy Cory

He I think if you're young like you're young you're just bad at drinking Yeah, and you miss people like oh, I was an alcoholic cuz I would black out all the time It's like every you're blacking out off of like nine beers, right? You know, I mean it's like. Right, you threw up. Yeah, right, yeah exactly. And it's like you're not really an alcoholic until you're like maybe 27 and you're like drinking because you're like, well I gotta go check the mail. Right, and one of the questions on the survey was like,

have you ever had someone get alcohol for you? And I was like, yes, and I'm like, well I'm 18. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Yeah, my buddy Cory, you ever watch The Sopranos? Yeah. Yeah, his sponsor was the guy that played Ralphie Sifiretto, Joey Pants. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he introduced me to this guy, Joey Pants, and he became my sponsor. Yeah, it's funny because like Joey Pants is like a famous actor. Yeah, exactly. This was in Connecticut. And so when he introduced, that was my second AA meeting. So when he introduced me to him, I was like, holy shit, that's my favorite character from The Sopranos. Yeah. So I convinced myself I'm an alcoholic so I can just keep hanging out with this guy.

That's good. You feel like all the mediums you do now, it's like prank calls. Prank calls, I think prank calls I always held in like high regard. Really? Yeah. I did like, I guess you call an album of like an old man, I would be, I'd pretend to be an old man, I would call stores and try to keep him on the phone

for like 30, 40 minutes at a time. Really? Yeah, with just like the dumbest inquiries possible. Interesting. Like when I called the shoe store and I said that my family got me a pair of Asics for my birthday, and every morning I take a 20-minute walk to the end of the street and back home but since they got me the new shoes the walk is only lasting 10 minutes and so I'm

worried that the shoes are too fast and I called the store and asked them if they sold weights that we could put on the shoes or a different type of if there's some adjustment I could make to the shoes and then this guy just said to like patiently explained to me that like no you've just gotten faster and it's like you know you just but if you do it as an old man and you just don't understand that you don't understand what that means it's like well the only thing that changes the shoes you know yeah yeah so what can we do to these shoes to make them slower and then just never hang up? You just don't keep them on as long as possible. It's fucking really give this guy something to talk about when he goes home

It's like those movies where they're the hostage person like calls the FBI and they're trying to keep them on to see where he's at Yeah, so again Dallas or Fort Worth July 27 28 and Comedy store August 6 Los Angeles and New York City stand August 11th my birthday show all right my dinner with Andre Concluded you ever see that movie no my dinner with Andre I've heard a great movie. Yeah, you're in it. Yeah, there's a guy named Andre that a guy has dinner I'm gonna have to check it out. Yeah, it's about yeah It's about this guy who has dinner with a guy named Andre I appreciate you not slamming me with Asian jokes this whole podcast is that people's perception of me no

I'm gonna be like, oh, dude. What? Look at his eyes. Are you kidding me? That's just, that's what happens. Like most podcasts I go on. Yeah. They just make like ching chong jokes and. That's gotta be annoying, right?

That's not like, you're not like, oh, ha ha ha. This is good. I mean, I don't even really even talk about it on stage. Are you Korean? Yeah, I'm Korean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you go to Korea? Have you visited? Yeah, I've been like a bunch of times in my childhood. Yeah, I want to go. Hey, you should go Yeah, well, I don't really you seem like you like Asian culture

And well, there's a lot of cultures there. Yeah, I just feel like I haven't done enough traveling But I don't really I got to figure other things out first You ever go to like Japan or anything? I want to save all the traveling for when I'm like I'm gonna be one of those old people that just goes on cruises all the time really you know what I mean or like you know you go but like nice cruises right if those exist I don't know but I would yeah I can do the traveling one because you get older and you have more of an appreciation for history and stuff because you get closer to death and then

you realize how short life is and it's like suddenly 100 200 years ago isn't that far away? Yeah, you seem like you you would like korea don't go to china Why I got really sick there when I was a kid. I almost died Of what I don't it was just like it was like post sars So I think I got like an off-brand sars thing I had like a 102 fever They brought me to like the ghetto is hospital. It was like if in a warehouse

There's like rats running along the ground You know the lights like kind of like hanging and flickering and shit It was like a Call of Duty game kind of shit. So I wouldn't go to China if I were you Yeah, when we went to Tokyo a couple years ago, there was a guy who worked in China it was a Mandarin translator, a white guy. But he lived in Tokyo. I'm like, but you work in China? He's like, yeah, China sucks.

He's like, I just live here and if I have to go to work, I'll commute. You know, I want to go to China from Tokyo, but he would prefer to just, you know, work remotely and live in Tokyo. Right. Tokyo was cool. Yeah. So, all right. Thanks guys.

Good night.