The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 19

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 19 Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/tafs/ Subscribe to @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here:... https://bit.ly/sub-tafs -- LIVE SHOWS: NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows Sep 15 — Sep 16: Boston, MA @ The Wilbur ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland show podcast. It is high noon right now on what is it the sixth? It is not. It is high noon on the sixth of August, 2023. Nick and I were just complaining about how everything's boring nowadays and there's nothing to talk about and then we just missed a story that was tailor-made for us. Came out right after we fucking did the podcast yesterday. Sorry, I got preoccupied thinking, trying to buy props.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Oh, from Mexico. No, not from Mexico, other stuff I was thinking about. We were really in a jam with this stuff. I think we're gonna have to Jerry Rigg. We're gonna have to Jerry Rigg a lot of shit. We're gonna Jerry Rigg this time. And then the more ambitious things we're gonna pace out and work.
Starting point is 00:00:59 This was one of the more ambitious things. So we did pace. But what I'm saying is we push the next more ambitious thing after all of them are going to be work. So I understand everything. Making the mistake of thinking. We'll put the hardest possible thing further away in the future. That's not what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:01:18 Do you know work on it until the time? That's not the opposite of the point I'm making. And take the most of the other stuff that's... No, we take the most ambitious thing, and then we work on it throughout while we're working on the things that are more easily achievable. Let's say we have something that requires a car crash
Starting point is 00:01:33 or a crane shot, right? So we push that to, like, let's say, like two in the future. Yeah. And then we coordinate that throughout the time that we're working on the immediate process. Oh fucking minds are always just trash It's not trash. I mean, it's it's the lead of my Don't put that into there's coffee left Nick let's talk about it using the lid because the lids
Starting point is 00:01:59 The lids at S&P suck and they leak and the cups leak too look Beleds at S&P suck and they leak. And the cops leak too. Look, I'm gonna go complain after this. They can't get a good cup. They're not, it's not even a coffee place. Why are you getting coffee there? Maybe it's not a coffee place. I should have gotten a coffee before.
Starting point is 00:02:15 No, because I got here, I got here, they threw out our curry after saying they were sending a new one. Wait until the new one comes. I mean, they order operations there, I just don't understand. Dave hasn't worked for us for three months. Yeah, I know, but he did throw out the current. Okay. I didn't tell you that I was headed in because I missed your text message, so I got here in
Starting point is 00:02:37 930 and so I was like, oh, I'm going to go get breakfast and that's why I got coffee from that place because I was getting breakfast sandwich. Okay, to answer your first question. Second question, take the fucking curing back to fucking Costco. They take anything back. My parents got a rolling duffel in 1997. They have had 12 generations of that rolling duff. You're the one with the car,
Starting point is 00:02:59 writing you take it back to Costco. You could have asked. We could have gone, done a Costco trip together. We could have gone to the Nuguchi Museum together and then gone to the gorgeous Astoria Costco. You could have asked. We could have gone, done a Costco trip together. We could have gone to the Nuguchi Museum together and then gone to the gorgeous Astoria Costco. You all you had to do is say, okay, why don't we take it back to Costco? Because you already had the wheels in motion
Starting point is 00:03:14 where you were talking to HQ corporate of curing. I didn't talk to anyone. I said, Dave, can you resolve this? And throughout all of that, I said, let's just take it back to Costco. And then why didn't that happen? Because you said, Dave's got it. No, I didn't. Both of you of that, I said, let's just take it back to Costco. And the money in that half? Because you said Dave's got it. No, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Both of you were saying we got it. They're gonna send it to you. I didn't say shit, pal. Can't blame me for that one. I'm not blaming anyone. I, all I'm saying is I suggest a, I suggest a taking it back to Costco because Costco takes anything back.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, that's you right now. Here comes Adam doing logic. because Costco takes anything back. Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, that's your mind. Yes, I am funny, Nick. That's it. Thank you. I'm funny.
Starting point is 00:04:01 I'm funny. I'm funny. Yes, I am funny. The fuck was wrong with people a hundred years ago, they would see a clown and be like, ah, they still go. Yeah. Yeah. That's, you, that's absolutely right though. What they were crushing clowns. Somebody says, somebody made up once they were supposed to be like an offensive impression of the Irish clowns. Yeah, they got big red hair and a red nose. They're all, how long does their clothes don't fit? Cause they're like, poor.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Is that where it comes from? Yeah, that's funny. Yeah. I thought that they were like, they told the king that the king was like, actually doing a bad job, but they were the only ones that were allowed to. Those are gestures.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Which is weird that stand-up comedians will like, they'll like, kind of wax poetic about their lineage of gestures. Oh, because they're truth tellers. As if there's any comparison, they're like completely different jobs. Yeah, it's the guy wearing a hat with bells on it. Yeah, I know, it's closer to a job.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I mean, they were juggling. They were jugglers. Yeah. Yeah, the court juggler. Yeah. Yeah. If they have any comparison, it's Sir Thomas Moore. He was sort of the first comedian. What did he do?
Starting point is 00:05:11 He went to prison for saying that King wasn't allowed to get a divorce. I was like a Lenny Bruce type. Yeah. My words, man, you can't take my words, me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This cat is trying to take my words, me in. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Lenny Bruce is not funny, yeah. This cat is trying to take my words me in. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Starting point is 00:05:27 Laney Bruce is not funny, dude. Yeah. What is he though? Anytime I've seen anything, I'm like, what? Laney Bruce best bit. You know, there's handsome. Look at him, he's quite handsome.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Okay, Laney Bruce, how to relax your colored friends at parties. Let's listen to it Okay, Laney Bruce, how to relax your colored friends and parties. No, Eric Miller. Eric Miller, listen to it. I have known for... Put it up to the mic. Four years. Oh, Miller and I, you and Rolett together.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Eric Miller is a jazz guitarist. Eric Miller isn't intellect. Eric Miller has good taste. Because it's my good taste. Maybe not your good taste. There's another switch up it. But I can get Eric Miller. Eric and I work together with Amy. He's saying, and I talk, and I say,
Starting point is 00:06:10 Eric, want to do a bit with me? That's not my stick talking, but okay. We'll do a bit, and we'll add a little bit and fool around it. And we did a bit, and then the bit found four. The four we got in the flesh. We're at the party now. And Eric being colored, he would be a musician. The fucking God bless the party now And Because you don't know so what is the word entire hour. I want to see where he goes with this
Starting point is 00:06:43 Pro Jim Go So go back, go back, what was that? Yeah. Why isn't Swing? And the humor comes from the now becoming obscure white person's concept of how do you relax color people at parties? And in the bit I play the white guy. I was just describing a bit. All right, we're not gonna see you're listening.
Starting point is 00:07:10 No, no, no, I want to see where it goes. Lenny Bruce was society's mirror. I want to go bar for every comic. Then listen to it on your own time. We're not gonna see you're listening. We started it. A 10 minute Lenny Bruce bit. Well, why'd you start a 10 minute one?
Starting point is 00:07:21 To demonstrate that you can listen to 30 seconds of it and there's nothing there. Yeah, but maybe it's gotta be a payoff. Maybe it's gotta be a payoff. Come on, come on dude. You're, now you're doing, you're doing what Lenny Bruce would do. If Lenny Bruce was gonna write a joke about,
Starting point is 00:07:36 and do a joke about how much Lenny Bruce isn't funny. I'm not telling you, I wanna see if there's a payoff. I'm not telling you, I wanna see if there's a payoff. There is not payoff, you know there's not payoff. He pitches his black friend a bit that he wants to do the stand up We're gonna listen to I'm just trying to be Bruce bit and it's I'm trying to understand what he's talking about people say This is the best Hey Oh
Starting point is 00:08:08 You know You You know What is it? Ready to get ready, don't you forget it yourself, I got it. Thank you very much. It's perfect, all right. Here's the bow, jackals. Yeah, here's the bow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:32 I have to watch you run a television all the time, man. I'm sure people are all right. I guess you know a lot of people in a show business, huh? Yeah, quite a few of my travels. I would tell us that Ben, I'm named... Is the first voice the black voice? No, no, no, I don't know how to answer my mouth. Pause.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Pause. So the joke, that joke was kind of funny. Wasn't it? His black friend asks him oh, so you know show business people and then he's like Do you know Aunt Jemima the lady from the syrup bottle? That's pretty good. Yeah, that's I guess that's why they say he's the best Yeah, he asked his boyfriend if he knows Auntrimana. No, his black friend has here. It's a 200 year old recording of somebody walking through a bit that every black comedian does now, which is like, why do people try to relate to you in parties?
Starting point is 00:09:33 No, it's the opposite. The black guy is so stupid that he thinks a bottle of syrup is a celebrity. That, it's a racist joke. That's his black voice. Yeah,'s his black voice that's the black guy. That's the black guy. So Jokes are how to calm down black people at parties. Yeah, so he's going up to a black guy and he's embarrassing himself by asking if he knows Andrew Mollin.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Oh, that's good. I gotta do that, Co-Think. You know, I did all the construction there. Oh, you do? Yeah, I got all the paint and he's heaps. You cannot Jewish her yet. No, no. No offense, you know, Jewish, I had to do it.
Starting point is 00:10:25 No offense, you know what I mean? I like you said Jewish. Call me, I hate my mouth, I'm running around. Like that, I don't know. As long as you want to stay, you know. I mean, what do I mean? I don't know how you feel about denitivating stuff. I mean, I don't care what the alligator is,
Starting point is 00:10:43 always keeps his flesh. Right, man? I don't know how you feel about it as he keeps his plate. I mean, I don't feel like I have his two little colored people. That's crazy. Just say that to a black guy at a party. I started, yeah, and he's my accent Jewish people now. They say, they wear it. So he says, look, darling. Is that what you want to do?
Starting point is 00:11:03 You want to sit here looking at a wedding dress girl? No, they might like this. But you got Chinese to do a lot of stuff too. Anyway, let's call it a pick up. Is that a ridiculous? No, I don't think so. I think that's very interesting how they use to do feet blue with so many other pastel. That sounds like a lot of comedy horses in me.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Do people know? Yeah. I just wanted to know what the thing was that he was doing. You can't put it together. You't and you can't know i i couldn't i thought what you may be watching the video but i thought that he was imitating a black person being rejected it's like uh... uh... white guy trying to talk to a black guy apart you don't know where that's going yet but i thought he was saying that his jazz friend, well, it's not about a white guy trying to talk to a black person, it's about what's it called, it's calming down a black
Starting point is 00:12:13 person. Because he's uncomfortable because you're around a lot of white people, so it's like, how to make a black person. Oh, so it's empathetic. You know what it is. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Can I see you on a big plate? I don't know what it is. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Can I see you on a big plate?
Starting point is 00:12:25 I don't know what it is. Anyways, when's this strike gonna end? I don't know. I'm not even in any of those things. We're not in this strike. No, but I have solidarity and socialism, of course. But we own the means of production, okay? You know, we've overcome a fucked up system
Starting point is 00:12:48 that where the man screws you. Yeah. You know? This should do the kings of production comedy special. And it's black social, it's black DSA comedy. Yeah, for Netflix. Yeah. Recorded now during the strike. Yeah. Yeah. recorded now during the strike.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Yeah, recorded standout. Scavig, yeah, right. Yeah, recording jokes that you clearly did not write yourself. Struber and mango, that's a good flavor. Yeah. Okay, I guess that bit kind of works. It's about a white guy trying to impress a black guy and then embarrassing himself in the process.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Yeah, I mean, you came out high and said, Lenny Bruce was not funny. No, no, but I just did anything I've heard. I just thought he was just saying cat. And like, you know, like, I thought it was, it was too jazz or something. He was like doing like, he was just a cool guy that people liked.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Yeah. Is that right? I don't know, the middle of the last century was fucking dumb. But have you listened to Woody's albums? You think we're gonna have a World War? No. Why?
Starting point is 00:13:52 Because everyone's, we've talked about this before, but there's, they're making even more Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars Cinematic Universe. I went over to Jonas yesterday, and we watched the Shane special together. He was watching yet another Star Wars property with a fucking, what's her name? Not Zoe Saldonna. Some other actress where she has like alien shit on.
Starting point is 00:14:18 And he's like, yeah, it's good. No one's gonna do a World War while this crap's happening. Why not? I don't know, yeah, it's good. No one's gonna do a world war while this crap's happening. Why not? I don't know, Bill Hicks or something. We need Bill Hicks. Yeah, I feel like Bill Hicks would say, you know.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Yeah, it's like, you know. I don't know. Have fun with me. I'm sorry I made us listen to the lady Bruce there. No, we can listen to the lady Bruce. I was just interested in it. And you know what? I think lady Bruce came across all right in that. No one's watching this at this point.
Starting point is 00:14:54 We just sat here and listened to a 10 minute. They love that. We vacuumed for 20 minutes on this. That's visual. That's fun. It's not sitting around listening to it. Us sitting here and our faces while we were listening to it. What are you going to do in Greece What are you excited about but you're upcoming vacation degrees? Is that funny? Okay, yes, I'll tell you I'll tell you I'll tell you I'm going to Athens
Starting point is 00:15:18 and then I'm going to To psyched playlic island. Yeah. And I'm gonna turn my phone off. And I'm gonna read books. Yeah, what books are you gonna read? What are you excited about in Athens? What are you gonna do in Athens? Talk about the thing.
Starting point is 00:15:35 I'm gonna see the Acropolis. This one girl that I used to see went to Athens when I was seeing her. And she said she went to this store and this guy is like a jeans savant. He knows everything about jeans. He can look at a woman's ass and he, like in Diagon Alley,
Starting point is 00:16:00 where they give the kid the perfect warm just for them. He can go through his... What does that reference do? Harry Potter. He can go through his archive of jeans and give the woman a pair and it'll be the best her ass is ever looked. Really?
Starting point is 00:16:18 Yeah, interesting. So I told my girlfriend... So you want to go to the jeans store to get ass jeans for yourself? No, I told my girlfriend that I heard that there's a place where there's like an ass Sevant. Mm-hmm. And now I regret it. Why is she mad at you?
Starting point is 00:16:33 No, she wants to go and I don't want- What if this- That doesn't sound good? Yeah, you could have been into your crop list. I'm gonna go to the crop list, but this guy's gonna be like, I don't know, it's scary. When he looks at, so she takes her pants off completely. Not in front of him, but he'll look at her body.
Starting point is 00:16:53 I don't know exactly what her body needs. That's something I would never be capable of. And I feel like I'll be a little bit alphaed by that. We see the Acropolis, it's like a house on a hill. Yeah. And what did they do there? The Senate maybe? We're like,
Starting point is 00:17:16 why do you want to see the crop list of all the things in Athens you can go do? Isn't that the most famous thing? I don't know. You tell me, you spent all this money to go to Greece, I'd figure you'd have a- How much money do I spend? I don't know, probably $20,000.
Starting point is 00:17:30 No. What are you talking about? It's a month in Greece. I'm not going for a month. I'm going for a week and a half. All right. A month in Greece. Stop making it.
Starting point is 00:17:40 It's not to villa. Do you wanna come? No. Why not? Because there's stuff to do. There's a lot of work. You're going out of town too. No, I'm going to Boston to do shows.
Starting point is 00:17:50 And you're going out of town too. For two days afterwards. I have to go pick up my call. You understand at most jobs people have PTO. What is that? People are allowed to hiss, tough. Pissed tough., and pissed off. People are allowed to like take a breather.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Yeah. I think when I get back, I'm not criticizing you for taking a breather. I'm saying you're wasting it, but you spent $25,000, $30,000 to do a month in Greece. And you know at the beginning of the show, right after we found this space, I went home for my dad's birthday,
Starting point is 00:18:29 and you referred to it as vacation. Yeah. It's not a vacation. This is a vacation. Okay. So you're holding a grudge for two years, so you said, I'm gonna make a poor living. I don't remember this.
Starting point is 00:18:43 No, I think you have an aversion. So I'm a waste. I think you have an aversion to the concept of, I don't know, it's just no time. No time for what? To go to Greece for a month. I'm not going for a month. I spent $30,000 to go to Greece for a month.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Oh, I have no plan. I have a plan and you wanna order costumes from Mexico that are gonna arrive in 2024. Not 2024. You said, I have to have these Mexican costumes that are gonna arrive at the end of 2024 and then we can finish the chat episode. All right, well, you know, I didn't say that first of all,
Starting point is 00:19:22 it's not the costumes. You're not too, I understand. You're fincher. I understand. I respect it. It's not that they're that. I respect it. That's not the issue. You know, in the movie Titanic, James Cameron had on the bottom of the casting is very hard.
Starting point is 00:19:35 On the bottom of every plate, I've seen hundreds of people and none of them are right. On the bottom of every plate in Titanic, in the dining hall, the grand dining hall, there was like a stamp that they actually had on the real plates. You never saw those in the movie. And it said Titanic plate. It said HMS Titanic plate.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Yeah. You know, and Cameron demanded those. Yeah. He said that filmmaking is like war and he's a general. Uh-huh. And I see a lot of that in you. I respect it. Uh-huh. Okay. And what war
Starting point is 00:20:08 with the Titanic be? Titanic war. Okay. What war would it have at heart be? The Boer war? Yeah. Those are cool wars. No, the Zulu. What was it? The the the the the the Boer Wars are cool, dude. Because of those white-on-white crime. Yeah, but also because the those Dutch guys who just been they've been down there in breeding for what 300 years 200 years? Probably around that time. When after Yann Fundrupik came. Yeah. They were down there in breeding, so they waged war like savages. They were basically... They did guerrilla warfare? They did guerrilla warfare.
Starting point is 00:20:51 And in the British did the first concentration camps. So guess what? These Jews want to complain. But it was the Dutch. It was the Buddha. The Dutch were the first ones to be rounded up. Yeah, but I don't think it's genocide if it's a made up race. It's a bunch of Dutch people that fucked each other over and over and over again. And then they're like, well, we're African though. I don't think they ever claimed we're African. I think if they actually were doing that, they'd probably be nicer to the Africans. That's what they did.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Isn't it? Yeah, I think it's a lot of people who are not in the ever claimed we have African. I think if they actually were doing that, they'd probably be nicer to the Africans. That's what they did, isn't it? No, they had their own language, and they're like, this is African, we're African. No, they just spoke to you. I don't know who all these black people are,
Starting point is 00:21:37 but we've been fucking our cousins for 200 years. They spoke a derivative of Dutch, called off-records. Yeah. That is just like a kitchen Dutch. Yeah. Called off-recones. Yeah. That is just like a, it's kitchen Dutch. What does kitchen Dutch mean? Like a, like kitchen Spanish, you mean? Like servants. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:21:54 It's, I don't know if it's a pigeon or a dialect or what. It's weird, that, that, that, that, that, kid with the bowl haircut, the retarded kid that shot up that black jerk a couple of years ago. Dylan Roof. I feel like he's saying retarded, it's kind of letting him off. He in low IQ? Yeah, I think he was like an imbecile.
Starting point is 00:22:14 They let him go to McDonald's. No, they got Burger King. Oh, Burger King. Wal and Terragate. Oh, I don't feel bad. Yeah. Burger King is crap. Yeah, that was the thing they made a whole lot of money. Oh, like Burger King. Wal and Terragate. Oh, I don't feel bad. Yeah. Burger King is crap. Yeah, that was the thing they made a whole lot of money.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Oh, yeah. They took him out to a special, it's like, do you really think that's what happened? He was really into Rhodesia. That's what I mean. It's like he was into all that, those inbred Dutch people. Did he get killed in jail?
Starting point is 00:22:40 I don't think so. Dylan? Yeah, what happened to him? I think he's just, weren't they going for the death penalty for him? Oh, great news. What? Message from... What? I can send you overnight.
Starting point is 00:22:58 So we can get the tomorrow? Yeah. Adam beeped that word. Yeah, bleep the name. Yeah. Okay, so we can get it tomorrow. Yeah, guys, great news. We can finish the episode.
Starting point is 00:23:14 I'm very happy. Well, I don't know if it'll be tomorrow. I mean, they can, they can, they'll do overnight shipping. Um, okay, I'll just deal with this. You know what, if Rachel has a lot of shit to do, I'll do the rest of the day. I'll find location, casting everything. Yeah, let's do it.
Starting point is 00:23:33 All right, let's run by these now. You trust me? You said it quietly. Yes, I trust you. Hold on, I do by now. Nick has a neat move. What's that? Sorry, I'll do this after this. I don't know. Nick has a neighbor. What's that? Sorry, I'll do this after.
Starting point is 00:23:48 He said he changed the shipping price, but I look at the listing on the item and it still says the regular price. I'm very excited. If we can get these in, perfect. Because that was like the main thing hanging over my head. I don't mind if the other aspects are kind of rinky days.
Starting point is 00:24:05 You really take costuming seriously. You're really into outfits. Well, it adds to it. It really does add to it. Do you remember when you were in a bad mood that day? And then you went on a like a pissed walk and you came back with laces and you were in a great mood? No, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:24:22 Because your boots didn't have the right laces for the Marty's sketch. They didn't have laces at all. Yeah. You had to use one of the shoe laces to fix something. But you're completely, when you came back, you were like, you were beaming. Well, because you were ready to go. We're like, you know, there was a bunch of shit hanging over there. But no one even saw the laces. Yeah, but I can't walk around. I mean, I guess I could. I just needed to get shoelaces to put my, to tie my shoes. I understand. You're, you're stamping the bottom of the plate.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Here's the problem. Yeah, I'm not stamping the bottom of the plate. We want to get things done. It's like, I'm not like, I'm not comfortable like, oh, let's shoot this. You happen to, like, great. We got to line out. What if you trip or something and then it's fucked up
Starting point is 00:25:04 and you have to do it again. So I don't want there to be any room for any of that. Let's not, like, roll on, you know, just a fucking walk through of, or address rehearsal. Let's get it right and do it because there's a lot of shit to do, and we gotta get it out of the way. I know you like taking, you like to do,
Starting point is 00:25:25 it's 35 takes to deliver one line. Are you kidding me? What do you mean? I don't like doing 35 takes. Well, that seems to happen. You know, David Fincher does that, actually. Well, you, Okay, so for the audience, for the audience,
Starting point is 00:25:42 Nick made me do 47 takes of one line because you didn't say the line. It was fine. We watched it back. It was fine because the editor sat and had to pick the best one out of the 45. I'm sure there were 25 that were fine. Ginsburg is that true? Yeah, very diplomatic Adam. You'd have to go back. Very diplomatic Adam. Oh, we have to go back and Yeah, right. No, very diplomatic atom. You'd have to go back. Very diplomatic atom. Oh, we have to go back and check. Very diplomatic atom. Listen, maybe there's more to it.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Listen, it's nice. This is nice, Nick. Yeah. Well, you're doing what you're doing. This is nice. You're probably the brightest. You're putting on me like I'm holding everything up. No, no, there's no shade here.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Because I'm being a perfect... I mean, you are holding things up. Or something that's a definitely... You definitely are holding things up. But it's no shade because you... I'm holding things up. Or something that's definitely are holding things up. But it's no shade because you I'm holding things up. Yeah, no. Outside circumstances are holding things up. The costumes for Mexico.
Starting point is 00:26:33 There's not costumes for Mexico. I mean, it's ridiculous. You keep saying that as if there's, because people believe that. They think that there's costumes in Mexico that does. One thing that would be ideal because the other options are would, my, I've been nothing but honest with you people for seven years. No. And I know you have my back on this.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Anyway, Nick, it's nice. This is all nice. And it's no shade. Very constant. No, no, it's no shade. On your hand no shade. Very constant. No, no, it's no shade. On your hand. It's no shade. No, no, no, you, you have standards that you adhere to. It has nothing to do with standards. It's like this, there's something that has to be done, and this is the way it has to be done. I thought I agree that it. I thought so, those were something that you could just buy.
Starting point is 00:27:27 That's not the case. You can order like the vinyl props that look ridiculous, that will get in the way when you're trying to perform. Ginsburg bleeped this word again. Who Nick is going to be the winner? look ridiculous that we'll get in the way when you're trying to before. Ginsburg bleeped this word again. Who Nick is going to watch it and say those aren't right. It has nothing to do with them watching. It has to go is going to watch it and say those are bad.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Not the concern. It's like, let me get these things on and I can't walk down the fucking hallway. It's gonna kill you? No, they just are they'll fall off. They'll get fucked up. That's funnier. No, it's but that's not the point. That's not like you don't know this other shit. It's like this thing is fucking you know it's nice. This is nice. This is gonna be a fucking problem. Why? Because it's not the right size. It's gonna fucking like get in the way. You're not gonna be able to shoot around it.
Starting point is 00:28:30 All of these things are real concern. Yeah. Yeah. We did it. That's gonna be a good deal. I built this thing. We're very lucky. I had to build this thing.
Starting point is 00:28:42 And it's like, oh, just use like a regular box. It's like, well, then it won't make any fucking sense. No, and it was amazing, right? Yeah, it was amazing. It was amazing. It was like, do it the way that it'll work out. I want you to do it the way you want to do it. I do.
Starting point is 00:28:57 I'm not being difficult. They're very basic things. When you showed me that, for Mexico, yesterday on eBay, and you said, we can't get these for four weeks. I did not say four weeks. You said end of the month. The 22nd of September.
Starting point is 00:29:15 It's a little bit. All right, well, now the problem's solved. This is cool that we've got. The other thing, bleep this, Ginsburg. That's another thing that's a fucking problem. I'm sure that is, that's already coming from Amazon. I'm sure we get to accomplish that. And the reality is this should have been done weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:29:35 There is, I thought there were other things. I thought I could make one little quick trip and have all this banged out. And now, again, Ginsburg bleep this, I would have assumed, I would have assumed that there was a door in New York City. There is not.
Starting point is 00:29:49 In fact, I called several, I talked to the Bronx. I don't know. Yeah, I called them. I'm like, there's some reason that's where they all are. And they're like, again, no, they ain't nothing like that. It's really cool. We're very lucky, Nick. Do you have course, Rior?
Starting point is 00:30:12 This is awesome. They were arguing about shit. And it's gonna be so fun. Anyway, guys, sorry about this, little bit of, you know, when you have a creative partnership, it's, you know, when you have a creative partnership it's, you know, the biggest... Sometimes things boil over.
Starting point is 00:30:28 The biggest thing up is this going back and forth on the location thing and doing it, because Bobby can work wonders, right? Bobby can do like really cool stuff. But doing like isolated performances in front of a green screen, it's like a little, just be the performances will be shit. It's very hard to do. We did it with the tiny neck thing and it felt natural. No, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Yes, it did. It felt natural. You can't talk to an invisible person. So you have someone off camera reading lines. Acting. That's not normal though. They do that in movies all the time. I'm not in it.
Starting point is 00:30:59 We're not acting. When you get coverage of different people, you have the other person on the other side. There's professional actors. But that's how people make shit. When I go on the other side. Those are professional actors. But that's what how people make shit. When I go bowling, I'm not a professional bowler. I use the thing, the bumpers up and I use the thing. The slidey thing?
Starting point is 00:31:15 Yeah. Because what do I want to do? Go there and not use the bumpers. And not get a 300. Finish every game of the score is 65, no thanks. Bumpers up, rail, I'm rolling 140 every time. So if you want bumpers up, you got to get that orange. They don't let you wear them. I asked the bowling alley. I was like, let's say you got
Starting point is 00:31:33 a. We beat it. Yeah, because those, that would be good too. That would be very fun. Yeah. Maybe for the next one, we can bring them back. Yeah. Anyways, That would be very funny. Yeah. Maybe for the next one we can bring him back. Yeah. Anyways, guys, I really want this to get out before I leave on Monday. And we're going to try our fucking damnedest to do this. But I could also say this, because of the amount of time that it's taken, the more and more things have happened and it's gotten more and more ambitious and you will be fucking pleasantly surprised. Huge things.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Huge things. I'm not over promising. Listen folks, as a better you demand perfection and my bookie delivers. Hold on. Today's episode this week is brought to you by my bookie who's back with us for the rest of the beginning of the football season. Mybookie.ag. Yeah, so it's a better demand perfection. My bookie delivers. NFL, college football, and brand new cashout system give you options
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Starting point is 00:33:01 If you read it, we can multi-tax. But I put my phone away, so I'm not all my phone to the show all right, that's a first It's not a first I've been doing it for months. That's just having no fantasy for you just having noticed the first time you've ever done anything My water tastes bad it tastes like pool water. I don't know why I never clean those shits. I clean it constantly. Really? Well, yeah, let's just... You have one of those brush things? Well, no, you can use a... I mean, it's, yes, I do,
Starting point is 00:33:32 but I think you need to clean as the top part. The mouth part. Yeah, this thing. Because this thing will start to... If you put anything else in here, once it will start to stink. Sometimes I'll do a little, I'll do a splash of gatorade.
Starting point is 00:33:45 Honestly, bro, you need to get the straw lid. Why? Because it's a way more efficient means of consuming water. I like to get more water. Dude, I got back into the ready, yet he subreddit, because I was like, how do you clean this, fuck? They're not gonna like us doing this. Who?
Starting point is 00:34:00 Mine, look. Okay, guys, how's it going? It smells like the fucking pool. Glory, it's mine. But why does it it going there? Smells like the fucking pool. Chloria, it's nice. But why does it smell like that? Mine's been a summer. My drinking chlorine? I mean, probably, there's shit in the water.
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Starting point is 00:35:40 You could bet on the fucking ponies. What else? Pornoy, but on a horse, you what? You could bet on the fucking ponies. What else? Portonoy but on a horse, you know? There's like a film in between your lips. It's like, I can see. Like what? Portonoy bought a horse. Like Tony Soprano?
Starting point is 00:35:58 600 racks. That's what they told me at Barstow. And what does he do? He just rides around the city. No, he gets a little guy to go on it. A race horse. A race horse. Oh, I thought he had like a general Washington style horse.
Starting point is 00:36:15 What kind of horse is a Washington? An Apollosa? What kind of horse is that? I don't know. I think that's a type of horse. You could bet anything anything anytime, anywhere, only with my bookie, a Spanish Arabian. This is a mix of a Kentucky Spanish.
Starting point is 00:36:33 A Kentucky Spanish, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I've got a Kentucky, I've just spent a million dollars on a Kentucky Spanish. He's like, yeah, yeah. You guys want to take a nap partner? I don't know, what the fuck? What was it, can time so tired? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:53 I blame Manjul. Yeah, I can wait to fucking go to home people, be friends with a cactus. I don't know. Why are horses so expensive? Huh? Why are horses so expensive? You can race and make a bunch of money off. No, but even if you have what?
Starting point is 00:37:16 What do you mean? We know someone that claimed to grow up poor and then she said she had a horse. So are there poor horses? No. They claim to grow up poor and then she said she had a horse. So are there poor horses? No, it's expensive. You have to you have to you have stable fees. I feel like you're just fine one. You don't have to pay all that. You could just have a horse. No, if you find one, then you have to break it. Yeah. You have to break it. Uh-huh. And it's a long process. You have to earn its trust. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:47 You have to get kicked off of the horse. Yeah. You have sex with it. Yeah. I don't really trust horses. Anyways, we're talking about my book. You can bet on the book. That's a ridiculous statement.
Starting point is 00:37:56 No, we finish that. That's a ridiculous statement. That is a ridiculous statement. promo code TASFs. You didn't say that. I did twice. Three times actually. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:38:04 What? Every 20 minutes I get an email from YouTube. I did twice. Three times actually. Oh my God. What? Every 20 minutes I get an email from YouTube. Don't look. I can't help it. Anytime I pick up the phone and it's like, hey, here's some more bad news. What is it?
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Starting point is 00:38:29 uh... t a fs to grab a welcome bonus on the on the house you're not putting emphasis any of these things i trust you to read i was i was emphasize you said i want i put a lot of energy and send me the read i said you can just look at my phone you say no send it to me. I send it to you, you insist on doing it, and then you want to rush through it. This is what happens. This is what happens.
Starting point is 00:38:51 This is what happens. To make face lies. To, first of all, your bald face. Is it bold face, bold face? Your bald face. What is a bold face? I have a mustache. So what is a bold face lie, though?
Starting point is 00:39:03 It's a guy who can't grow a beard. They're traditionally liars. If you can't grow a facial hair, that's not somebody you can not. It's not true. It's 100%. It's not true. And I do grow it, it's not consistent. Incredible man grow a beard.
Starting point is 00:39:16 It's a historical truth. Yeah, it is. Hitler could grow a full beard. This happened. He should have done it last year. We should have gotten a final, if Hitler, like imagine if I were Hitler and let's say it's the fall of 1945, right? Bunker.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Yeah, it's right before the bunker. I'm going Hawaiian shirts beard, like I'd make myself look like Michael McDonald. And then I'd be like, look, I don't care about any of this shit, dude. Start a podcast and be like, look, I don't fucking, like, who cares about fucking? Just check out. Just be like, who cares about World War II? This job is for his chill.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Yeah, and then fucking Scott free. Yeah, yeah. He's that Nuremberg. He doesn't shoot himself. He's that Nuremberg. He's Russian. I feel like if Hitler did all the things that he had done and he had, but he had just been a guy that worked in the Trump administration. He could go, he could just appear at the VMAs and introduce Taylor Swift and be like, protect trans kids and people
Starting point is 00:40:21 be like, Hitler, welcome to the resistance. That's how it all would take, I feel. It's very easy to flip. It's very easy to rehabilitate people in the public. Yeah, like Michael Cohen just like start talking shit on Trump. Yeah. And now everyone's like, I love that guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:38 It's funny because cynically you would think that people can be canceled very easily. But I'd say it's almost easier to rehabilitate people than they cancel them. And I think to some extent, even if you learn the right lessons, you don't get credit for it. Like who? If you cynically do this thing to get public approval, it's different than someone actually
Starting point is 00:40:57 learning the right lessons, I think you're still crucified for your past eventually. You know what I mean? No. Old videos have surfaced of this person, you know? That happens all the time. Like people can't like simply say, oh yeah, I was wrong. Like who? I don't know, Pauladine.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Oh yeah? Yeah. All right. Mybookie.ag. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That was the example promo code it was the first thing that came in a month promo code T a fs I'm having fun. I'm having fun. Just have fun with I'm having fun. I would like a quest bar We'll go to the the I should you know, we'll go to the vitamin shop E after this. I'll buy you whatever you want Nick
Starting point is 00:41:49 No, no, I'm getting more questions about the SAG thing. We gotta be careful. We can't beat look. We can't be in a position where you say all of these wildly transphobic and racist things. No, I don't say anything. I don't say anything like that. For years you, you just changed the name of the show so that I get blamed for it. And then you advertise yourself, you say, yes, but I'm still leftist, right?
Starting point is 00:42:12 And now when it comes to demonstrate those values and make sure that we're above board with the unions, that we don't do anything that is scabbing, and that we don't facilitate scabbing by, you know, I voted for Bernie twice. I could park in a handicap, park in a lot. I could do whatever I will. Yeah. I tried.
Starting point is 00:42:34 I voted for how he hawkins. Who's that? The green party, yeah. The green party. Yeah, what is it? That's what I thought for years. But it wasn't that we've had. It's about recycling.
Starting point is 00:42:45 Oh, yeah. So the weed party? No. What is the point of the green party? To do nothing? Yeah, I guess. Was Ralph Nader green? Yeah, I think Nader ran it.
Starting point is 00:43:00 But why even bother running? Why even bother running? I don't know, a native kind of, I don't know, it was trying to help push. Yeah. Didn't you can and also run in 2000? That's what happened with the hanging chats as all those old Jews were actually voting for.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Ross Perot split the Republican vote in 92 92. Yeah, yeah love that guy Ross Perot yeah, I had an uncle that was the only one in our family that voted for Perot I told you there was a Comedian there was a comedian that when I started he would do like all this stuff about the Iraq war and Then at the end of the joke would go into a Ross Perot impression. And it's like, Oh, Desert Storm 1? Well, he's just like, he's like, Oh, this is great. I can do all my, my girlfriend rose.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Yeah, he can do all my golf war stuff again. But he left all the Ross Perot, should it? It's like just dated all of his, his golf war material. Should we do that? Should we split the vote? So damn insane.
Starting point is 00:44:04 I call this guy so damn insane. Should we split the vote? So damn insane. I call this guy so damn insane. Should we split the vote if Trump is like gaining traction? Let's all make a promise to not vote this election. No way. Yeah. No way. I saw Donna Brazil saying that they got to figure out a way to trick blacks into voting for Joe Biden. She was on CNN. She's like, we got to figure out a way to trick blacks in devoting for job items. She was on CNN. She's like, we got to figure out a way to trick all these wildly blacks and Latinos in the,
Starting point is 00:44:29 I might be paraphrasing the way she says. They're starting to like Trump. Me? No. Like in the Orlando area, like Puerto Rican voters, like swung it for Trump. Oh, heavy. Yeah. Yeah, heavy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Yeah. Yeah, minorities like him. Why do you think that is? Who's he's a pimp? Yeah. Yeah, like pimp shit. Yeah. That's why we have to trick them.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Okay, well, do we have to do that? I don't have to do shit. Okay. I have to have an empathetic, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it a college educated white women or the ones that are a problem?
Starting point is 00:45:09 I think they actually are the problem. They're the ones that are like the shittiest voter. Yeah. They always pick the shittiest thing to vote for. They're like, oh, I won. I learned this in college. I'm voting for Donald Trump. They write in boyfriend, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Okay, I'm sorry. What, whenever you go like that, it just makes me feel like, I don't know, I think you had a lot of confidence about we need to pre-record a bunch of episodes before. What is going on? You're also gonna be out of town. No, I'm gone five days. That's not true. You said you're going for a week and a half. I'm going for a week and a no. I did not say I'm going for a week and a half. You're going for a week and a half. I said,
Starting point is 00:45:55 look, I'm in Boston 15 to 16. I will be back in New York to 23. Just get a flight. Come with me. Cancel Boston. I can't. No, like, first of all, I can't cancel the boss. I already cancel all the rest of my show. I have a king sized bed in some of the hotels. I'll sleep on the floor. You know what hotel I really want to go back to. Or my girlfriend will sleep on the floor.
Starting point is 00:46:13 You and I will get the bed. I remember that hotel we stayed at and Brisbane. So nice. Dude, that place was all so nice. So nice. Yeah. You were the dude at that hotel. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:46:25 You were like, You liked me there? No, you were doing your Jeff Daniel, or what's his name, huh? I was bowling, what are you talking about? I remember. I was on pills that whole weekend. Yeah, you were being the dude.
Starting point is 00:46:37 You were wearing that robe. Yeah. You were walking around. One time you pointed at me, you're like, you're a good fucking guy. Yeah, I was on Tramadol for the whole week. You're on Tramadol. Yeah. Cause that guy Josh was getting at me, you're like, you're a good fucking guy. Yeah, I was on Tramital for the whole time. You're on Tramital. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:47 Cause that guy Josh was getting you opioids. Yeah, you want some tramis. I'll get you some old Tramital. I'm like, sure. It's weird, Australian medicine, I haven't heard of. When we were at that open mic in Melbourne, you like walked up to me and you're like, put both your hands on my shoulders,
Starting point is 00:47:01 you're like, it's a great outfit out of me. Yeah, I was fucked up. You were fucked up. Yeah, no, that was nice. And we got that food at that restaurant. Yeah, you wore that robe in the Brisbane hotel for like three days and then you looked it up online and you bought the robe.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Years later, I've been here. Years later, I found it. It was a great robe. Van Roy robe, which I think, it's like a waffled robe. No, it's not waffled, it's just like stonewashed linen, but it was very soft. And now it's, I still have it.
Starting point is 00:47:32 I mean, it were pretty frequently, but it's like a starchy feel to it. The linen scratchy, I don't know what happened to it. Linen isn't that comfortable. It is when they do it right, but I guess I don't know how to care for it. My girlfriend has a linen duvet cover and I fucking hate it. It gets too hot.
Starting point is 00:47:50 It doesn't breathe. Yeah. Linen's supposed to be the thing that breathes. No, it's just like it's light weight. Dude, I shfitz under that thing. Yeah. I guess my opinion on sheets doesn't matter. She's the girl.
Starting point is 00:48:02 It could be the comforter itself though. It is down. Yeah. Then there's our design. Every summer, the comforter itself though. It is down. Yeah, then as they're designed. Every summer I tell her I want a summer weight blanket. And I'm ignored. I do a lot of way to hotel style. So I do a, I have a down blanket, which is like barely filled,
Starting point is 00:48:21 but it's just a soft blanket. And then that goes in between two top sheets. And that goes on the bed. And then the comforter sits at the end of the bed. So if you don't have a duvet cover. I have a two sheet. I have a duvet cover that goes over the comforter. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Yeah. You don't slump it in though. I put the comforter in a duvet cover. Oh, you did. But the down blanket, this is good, this is good. How to make your bed? How to make your bed?
Starting point is 00:48:48 The down blanket, Peter's in style. The down blanket is sandwiched in between two flat sheets. You fold the top flat sheet under and then the top flat, or bottom flat sheet over, and then it looks like one big heavy top sheet. And then that's usually enough for the summertime. If it gets cold, I like the blast CAC, I like to be cold at night. I like to sleep cold. I have the the the
Starting point is 00:49:10 comforter also at the foot of the bed. Pull it off. If we're up to me, AC 12 months. I pretty much do that. No, she does let me. Why? Because she's, I run at a different temperature. She's like my breasts are sweating. My breath, no, she's like my breasts are too cold. I want my breasts to be sweaty. No, it's the opposite. My breasts sweat. I'm a man, so therefore apparently in offices, they keep offices cold because it's to keep women out.
Starting point is 00:49:39 No, it's the men's temperature. Mm-hmm. And every, I remember when I had a desktop, every woman had a space heater under their desk. Yeah, it's for their eggs. And they were like, because they're making eggs all the time. Yeah, they're both like spiders, really.
Starting point is 00:49:52 They have like hundreds of eggs in them. They're like, I'm cool. Yeah, chicken has one egg. A chicken's more human than a human woman. They lay only one. They're like, I have one egg at a time. Really? Human women are out there building webs.
Starting point is 00:50:07 They got a whole sack of eggs. They murder you on my eggs. I need my space eater. Yeah. Girls are crazy, dude. All right. Don't get me. What kind of atoms, let's do the atoms,
Starting point is 00:50:23 girlfriends of a bitch saying. No, she's lovely. She's lovely. I love her. She's loved my life. I never loved some of this much. Really? Never knew I'd said true.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Even seal when his second album came out. I wasn't that big of a fan. Really? Yeah. I find that to be shocking. No, I wasn't that big of a fan. I like the Batman forever song. You know, Kiss from a Rose.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Yeah. My power, my passion, my faith. Yeah, and you got the scars too. You got the lupus. I got it from Africa. Yeah. From growing up in Africa. He's not from Africa though.
Starting point is 00:50:58 I think the scars are from being a kid in Africa. I think they're from lupus. I think you had an autoimmune effect. Am I just being raised with them? Yeah, look at them. What do you think happened? You got fucking, like a bunch of... I think you had a peek at some shot him in the face.
Starting point is 00:51:13 No, I think you had some sort of illness as a kid. I thought it was he just had Lupus. I thought he was from like the UK, that he's a British guy. I think he's from there. One of us can look at him. Seal, scars. Yeah, type of lupus.
Starting point is 00:51:31 He didn't get it from Africa. Yeah. Well, that's bad for me, I guess. Yeah, born in Paddington, Bear, London, England. Gensburgr cut the seal part. No, leave it. No, why? It's not nice for me to have that out there.
Starting point is 00:51:47 Born in St. Mary's hospital. Someone told me that, I guess, when I was a kid, I liked Batman forever. Yeah. Controversy. So, okay. Under criticism from human rights groups appearing at an event in Grazny that turned into a birthday celebration for Rams and Katerov. Oh, I heard that. Yeah. Yeah. Also appearing at the event where Hillary Swank, John Claude Van Dam, and Vanessa May.
Starting point is 00:52:16 So sick. Yeah. Sounds like the best party ever. Who's Vanessa May? She's a violinist. Seal refused to apologize for appearing in the event, sending a message from Mr. Tudor account telling people to leave me out of your politics. That's cool, that's Pimp, Yeah. I also like the other one. Seals great. Notice that picture 2023, and she's beautiful still.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Catherine Mannheim. Who's that? I don't know, who'd you say? Shade. Oh really? She looks amazing still. Yeah. The most beautiful woman ever.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Mm-hmm. She's my number one. Yeah, you know it looks crazy, it's Madonna. Yeah, she's what she do to herself. I don't understand how people go down that path. Plastic surgery? Yeah. I think you just like get a little bit,
Starting point is 00:53:39 and it looks all right, and then you're like, I'm gonna get a little bit more. And then like eventually you just look like a p-king duck. Yeah, she looks fucking crazy. She looks like the magical Mr. Mistoffelies. She looks like she's in a cat. Oh wow, never have I ever injected saline into my eyebrows. I heard a song of hers the other day that I forgot about and it's so good.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Which one? The one that sounds like kind of Asian. That Madonna bitch. It's Madonna batch. No, the um. You know that one? No. It's this one, it's this one. Sounds a little bit Asian though. Okay seconds, can I play it?
Starting point is 00:55:02 Ginsburg? That was 21 seconds. What did I have to cut her? Fuck! Fuck! Whatever, anyways. That's a good song, no? Yeah, yeah, definitely. You know what I tried to do?
Starting point is 00:55:22 I tried to go get dinner in Chinatown on Labor Day. That was a mistake. What? Joe Shanghain, I probably a fucking like hour and a half wait. Really? There's always like, I'll go to Joe's ginger, big line there. And then I went to, that ended up just going to, I don't know, I think it used to be a different restaurant
Starting point is 00:55:40 on Bayard and Mulberry. Oh yeah, it's like golden something. on Bayard and Mulberry? Oh, yeah. It's like golden something. It's not a non-watt tea parlor. That's on doyers. That's on doyers. Yeah. And, you know, it's like whatever,
Starting point is 00:55:59 fuck it, it smells nice. It's like it's all gonna be the same. And probably the worst Chinese food I've ever had my entire life. They fucked it up all gonna be the same. And probably the worst Chinese food I've ever had in my entire life. They fucked it up. Dude, the sesame chicken was like diet coke with Chinese five spice. Throw this.
Starting point is 00:56:13 It's just awful. Ugh. It tasted like when you're like 18, you're like, I'm gonna try and make a mole. Have you ever been to a dim sum go go? We went there for your birthday. Oh yeah, I go for my birthday. Yeah, I'm gonna try and make a mole. Have you ever been to a dim sum go-go? We went there for your birthday. Oh yeah, I go for my birthday. Yeah, I love that place.
Starting point is 00:56:29 Yeah, that's good. I'm gonna go to Chinese food well. But I was thinking, my phone just got a fucking Panda Express. Dude, I had one in the airport recently. Still so good. It's good. Panda Express is really fucking good. Dude, I used to like, if...
Starting point is 00:56:42 There's honestly nothing better than mall, the off brand mall Chinese food. You know those places where it's just like the, the rice is so yellow that it stains like the plate. You know, the shit. Yeah, there's a place called that fucking rice. Heyway? Do you look like you've been farming tobacco for 80 years?
Starting point is 00:57:03 Yeah. I eat with my hands. You do. Well, that's sort of the style. No, I think they use sticks. Oh, okay. And what do you do? You tape them to your fingers? You tape one to each index finger and you go like this and then flip. Yeah. Benny Hanna. Yeah. Yeah. Chopsticks are really, Chinese do a lot of things right,
Starting point is 00:57:27 but I think chopsticks kinda dumb. Well, fork is such a, apparently anorexics like them because you eat slower, and so you get fuller faster. Silver chair. Silver chair. The one guy that was anorexic ever.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Yeah, that's a good band, dude. What song is that? To tomorrow is the only one I can think of. I was gonna say one other thing, but I just don't know what it does matter. Yeah, no, I, I, fuck, cut this. Why, we can't cut this.
Starting point is 00:58:04 It makes me look stupid, but you are stupid. I'm not stupid. Fuck. Cut this. Why, cut? We can't cut. It makes me look stupid, but you are stupid. I'm not stupid. There you are. We're only in 56 minutes, we don't have time to cut stuff. We'll go, we gotta do all this pre-requording. We'll go 105. We gotta do all this pre-recording
Starting point is 00:58:18 so you can sit on your phone in Athens. We're recording this for today. We're not even gonna make it to the jean store. We're, no, I don't wanna go because this guy's gonna like look at my girlfriend's ass and make it look amazing. You love that. That's the sexiest thing I can imagine. You'll be saying pictures would be like he's longing out my girlfriends ass. You'll be sending me the group chat. I know you will. You think I have a cuckold refedish? Yeah. No it really hurts your feeling sketchy, you know. Yeah. It's not fetish.
Starting point is 00:58:45 It's a fear. Mm-hmm. It's a terrible fear. I didn't say any of that. So I'm taking pictures of a guy making my girlfriend's asshole incredible. You also ran out of my medicine and the doctor's not calling me back. No.
Starting point is 00:59:02 You got to go on the streets now? Yeah. You got to go to the bad neighborhood. Get your medicine. I got to go on the streets now? Yeah. You got to go to the bad neighborhood? Uh-huh. Get your medicine? I got to go to the wrong side of the tracks. Oh, no. The guy is spinning pocket watches.
Starting point is 00:59:11 Where are we going? East New York? You know what time it is, pal? Is East New York bad? You go through it on the way to the airport every time. On the way to the beach. Yeah. It's not that. It seems all right. They have massive public housing projects, but they have this area called the whole.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Have you been there? It's this area that John Wilson goes in the show. It's under the water table so they don't have sewage there. And it looks like a post-industry like southern. What do they do with all the diarrhea? They mail it. They, I don't know, put it on the floor sometimes. You just mail it to the garbage company?
Starting point is 00:59:55 I think you mail it to the sanitation. Yeah. See how they like this. That seems like a makes the most sense to me. But they don't, a lot of people live, like basically they like steal electricity and trailers and stuff. It looks like a southern town where the factory closed, like a band in by industry. And then there are these
Starting point is 01:00:15 guys called the black cowboys and they're dudes from East New York who patrol the area on horseback as like the unofficial like- Guardian Angels. Yeah, they're like Guardian Angels of the whole- The horse guardian angel. And also the Colombo family used to throw bodies there. Yeah. They have like every now-
Starting point is 01:00:36 Oh man, one more thing. No, not that guy. Yeah, I mean, I'm in an ask you. Have you seen the black cowboys? Have you seen him? You watched Colombo. Yeah, he would act retarded. Peter, fuck. Peter, fuck. If you're seeing the black cow boy, have you seen him? You ever watched Columbos? Yeah, he would act retarded.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Peter fuck. Peter fuck. Columbos are in Peter fuck. We didn't have, he didn't act retarded. He is a glass eye because he stabbed himself in the face as a child by accident. In real life? Yeah, that's why Peter fuck is a glass eye.
Starting point is 01:01:03 No, but I thought the whole thing was Columbos would act bumbling and then he'd solve the case. Oh, the character, yes. But he wasn't doing like this to like as a bit. As a bit. Wait, you can do that. What? Yeah. The one eye in the middle, one eye straight. Yeah. I can't do that. That's good. Why do you do that in your act? What this? That's funny. Hey, I can even cross my eyes. Just cross your eyes. Cross your eyes. I can't even do a new one. You start off cross your eyes and you move one back
Starting point is 01:01:33 to where it was. I can't even cross my eyes anymore. I used to be able to, maybe you have park insensities. Don't. All right, well that'll happen. I definitely do. That'll do it for this week, folks. Thanks for joining us
Starting point is 01:01:45 Why don't you end on that note? Sorry for trying to bleed this as much as we can out of this stone the pre-recorded episodes This is not pre-recorded. This is coming out today. I know but we've spent yesterday pre-recorded We did one episode extra and it's just there's a lot of pre-recording happening seems like you're blaming stuff on me I'm not blaming anything. You're also gonna be out of town. Okay. Let's go figure out this. Yeah, yeah, we gotta figure that out. Okay, I gotta do a work on our-
Starting point is 01:02:18 Thanks guys, once again, Boston September 15th and 16th. There's still tickets left, probably. For next week, that'll be fun. The final show of the year. And then, uh... No, it's not. We have November. Yeah, but that's in town.
Starting point is 01:02:31 That's like, you know, we'll just hop over there at night. It's a special night for me. Yeah, that'll be fun also. But town hall, November, me and Nick. Yes, please come out. Thanks, bye. Bye. What's going on?
Starting point is 01:02:44 What's going on? What's that bad, Nick? Yeah, I know. I Thanks. Bye. Bye. What the fuck? What the fuck are you doing? I'm not that bad, Nick. I'm going to fuck her up. I'm alright, Nick. Yeah.

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