The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Lara - Episode 67

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ian Lara - Episode 67 Check out Ian on the road: https://www.ianlaralive.com/roaddates Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #ianlara

Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show podcast. We're joined today Ian Lara. Thanks for joining us. Thank you brother Thank you for one of the best in the business over here. I appreciate you saying that man. This is really cool It's a cool studio. Thank you so much. Thank you so much Nicholas. How are you doing? It's a beautiful I just had a hankering for onion rings as soon as we started Well, I'm looking at your shirt and it's kind of oh this yeah, I got a Fuddrucker. Yeah Yeah, you look like like this is a look that I'm like yeah, I could see you you want an onion ring Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know where it came from, but I know S&P has them They are they're not bad at S&P. It's pretty hard to fuck up onion rings

Yeah, I suppose. Yeah, I haven't had an onion ring in forever. They're really good That was like the adult fries when I was a kid. It's vegetable your dad would get onion rings instead of fries. Yeah, be like, whoa It's so interesting cuz who was like less slice the onion and fry it. That's kind of like Australians that was that it was done. Yeah. Yeah, well they they blew they made the blooming onion and that technology is just it blow We can't even conceive of it And you know, I'm going on gonna for the first time like two months ago And I'm gonna miss out dude. They made him smaller Back in the day you go. I mean it would be the biggest fucking onion. You never saw I had one

I was in I had one in Abu Dhabi and it was huge. I don't know if maybe over there They're still doing a big wow, we there Abu Dhabi comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was there Oh, how was it? It was fun Was it all guys like shakes and stuff in the in the stadiums and so no that's what you imagined Yeah, but no, it's just expats. Yeah, it was a lot of guys that work in our blue It was some of that but it was a lot of just expats and people. Oh, I think the whole point of the festival They wanted to show people that you know, we're open to whatever so bring out a bunch of comedians to say like wild shit and it was so it was fun it was cool like we got a rest is huh no

one got arrested no not that I know it was no restrictions they was like do whatever y'all want really yeah I wouldn't trust that actually I'd be I'd be afraid yeah I'd be afraid I'd like to think that if I went to somewhere and I got in trouble for Joe I like to think that America I went to somewhere and I got in trouble for Joe I like to think that America would come to my they would not do you think so? No, I mean if you guys have like a loud voice like if you guys I feel like if I called back or if my Friends in comedy were like hey, we got a breeze some Some ruckus no, they never they won't get anybody back

You don't think so no who we trade for you Britney Greiner goes back I mean yeah it's like way to jail different country we get you back yeah you trade me for you know we trade you for sure about to retire I still have some I have momentum no remember that guy they got arrested in North Korea that's one of my favorite guys like Dave Otto fuck Otto warm beer warm beer was like so he was like a bro That was like you almost steal this fuck. Oh, yeah poster. Yeah And then they brought they gave it back in a coma and he died like a week later

And then they sent us a bill for two million dollars for his like a hospital room and the State Department paid it Yeah, yeah, they were like also you owe us two million dollars for his first hospital bills and we paid it what if it wasn't like one of those countries what if it was a more country that were more friendly with Germany yeah like a country where there's like what I would like to do is I go to Germany get arrested for denying the Holocaust the State Department has to get me out and I just go right back and do it again yeah I'm just the Holocaust just keep denying it yeah well you go back and deny the Holocaust oh yeah I don't think I could really I don't I don't speak German I don't feel like I could go over there and be like

guys look at these motherfuckers like the Venus on the stand in the Sprakens yeah like yeah I guess probably sounds better in German Have you ever seen that picture of Danny Green the the 3andd? NBA player at the Holocaust Memorial in In Berlin no no took a selfie at the Holocaust Memorial And he was like going like this and he said had to do a one-time hashtag Holocaust Really yeah, it's what I know Danny. You know yeah, he's from Long Island. Really? Yeah, it's one of the- I know Danny. You know him? Yeah, he's from Long Island. Oh yeah, that's right. He played- I went to a basketball- my school was a basketball powerhouse in Queens and he went to a basketball powerhouse in Long

Island so we played against him. Yeah, that's insane. It's one of the funniest posts of all time on the internet. Yeah. He said, you know I had to do a one-time hashtag Holocaust. Have you ever been to the Boston Holocaust? Yes, I have. It's like right next to the Union oyster house apparently like that He's got you have a clam chowder, and you're like. Oh, yeah, the Holocaust. Yeah, yeah, just burp You just there's cream on your face. Caleb said that like Homeless guys go there to take dumps in Boston. I feel like you could say that about any place. I guess it's a city Yeah, well the the I don't imagine the homeless guys are like fuck. I got to get to the Holocaust Memorial

I think you did it just there. Yeah, I think they're just there. No, I think they're anti-semitic. No the Berlin Memorial is like a they're like big gay cruising spot because they're like a bunch of like like it's a these blocks and then so they're a bunch of like alleys it're like a bunch of like like it's a these blocks and then so they're a bunch of like alleys it's like a I wonder if it has got a bit a gay nightclub called Auschwitz and there's showers and I guarantee you get business it doesn't matter how offensive it is you could be like it could just be called like the chambers wasn't it didn't like bunk beds you can go back to after having gay sex in the showers still claw marks on the doors just fingernails

embedded oh you're outside the nine that the club is real yeah then we realized our greatest mistake was not going into the showers ourselves because That's what we actually wanted but you couldn't be gay back then sir. Yeah, they were also there in the camps Mm-hmm didn't know Bieber he went to the he was like Anne Frank. He said I leave her. Yeah Yeah, he's like I wish you could have been a believer. He wrote it in like the guest book Yeah, which is so funny that even even him filling out the guest book seems offensive Even if he just wrote like yo, what's up? Justin Bieber was here

That's you want to get on the email list. I guess yeah the Anne Frank emails Yeah, I wish you could have been a gift shop there at the end Frank. Yeah, do they sell the giant pennies? No, they don't do they don't have one of those machines. I feel like any kind of they all have yeah Like even that one would have any fucking museum there's always Open with Holocaust Kind of our thing really else to talk about yeah Yeah, what else? Nothing else is going on. Nothing's happened since 1945. I've been watching all the Matrix movies. You know I've never seen the Matrix. I love those movies so much dude. I Watched it's been a long time since I've rewatched the first one so I rewatched the first one. It's amazing. The first one's great

But then the second one's really good, too Didn't they just have one like a couple years ago? They did and I saw it the first half I was really into it and then I kind of like checked out a little bit more So I wanted to watch it again, but I was like, you know what? Why don't I just watch all of them and then so I got like a running start into it and then the same thing happened They got a baby half way. I didn't hate it. It's just It's like it's too But it's like it's too grounded in what life is.

You know what I mean? Like that was a criticism of the early, certainly the first movie, is that it's like, it's basically a children's movie. It's essentially like, these aren't even really adult characters, they don't have any kind of complex emotions, it's all just like, believe in yourself and you can do anything, know but then there's computers so you're like

industrial music yeah it's just that was big it's 99 yeah and it's like oh what if there was a secret world you could get away to where you have superpowers or whatever the fourth movie is the only one where they like introduced this like cons you see fucking jada pinkett smith's character niob or whatever the premise of the fourth movie is that the machines have in the third one neo has to sacrifice himself because agent Smith the bad agent has like turned into a virus and he's taking over the matrix machine city and neo being his opposite can like neutralize him so he goes to the machines and says like look I'll destroy myself and Smith and that'll like neutralize him. So he goes to the machines and says like, look I'll destroy

myself and Smith and that'll like create some kind of equilibrium and then we can have peace between the machines and humans. And it's not this either or, you know, one side wins or the other. And then the premise of the fourth movie is that the machines end up having a civil war due to like limited resources. They fight each other. They fight each other and so there's the humans, the humans in the machines and then there's the Machines in the machines and they're on one side and you know There's like a new thing and the machines have rebuilt neo and trinity Under this new matrix where they keep them kind of just out of reach of each other

They've erased their memories and they see each other but neo is middle-aged He works at a game company and like you know pretty good. It's it's well It's the one that it's the one where it's like it actually deals with life and like you know sounds pretty good it's it's well it's the one that it's the one where it's like it actually deals with life and like human emotions and when Neo gets brought out of that matrix he meets Jada Pinkett Smith's character who's now old because it's supposed to be 60 years he's only aged like she says to him you know you guys they free him and then she puts him in prison right away and he's like you know that's not fair and she

goes yeah well neither is aging but you don't hear me complaining and it's like you know no matter what even if the matrix were to be real and you could escape it you're still gonna get old and everyone you love is gonna die and so are you yeah so and with with that one with the fourth one it's like now you can't have that and then also this like wow you can believe in yourself and do anything you know it's like no now I'm just sitting here as a middle-aged man, and I'm Now you've now you've taken me back out of the movie in the way that it did give me

Yeah, it just should be a baby movie. It should be a baby movie It's like the the babe the cartoon spider-man are better because it's they're just it's just a baby movie It should be a cartoon. Yeah, yeah wasn't there a black is that the black there's the black one course the miles more Morales That's that's what's funny too about I watched the original matrix is already pretty diverse They went they wanted Will Smith to play neo. Yeah, but he didn't understand the script. I didn't understand the movie No, the original matrix. Yeah, and especially imagine it like I watched it I don't imagine when they put it out in 1995 when like most people didn't even Have dial-up internet. Yeah, was it 95 or was it?

The script in 94, but the movie was finished movie came out in 99 99 So they were probably people were reading the script in 1995 when like, you know, Pepsi didn't have a website Yeah, and you're like, yeah, you know they dial up into this matrix. I mean it would sound like nonsense It wouldn't you know will said that's the movie that he regrets turning down the most yeah in retrospect because now you can understand it But I I mean like cuz she cheated on him No, cuz it made oh, I thought you know Jada was fucking around. No no It's funny cuz you watch the original matrix and it was already a pretty diverse movie It was supposed to be a leah was man. Oh really yeah, they have like that switch character in it, too Who's like supposed to be just this like?

Androgynous you know like a no gender thing so it's like it already has all these elements So you go through the movies, and it's like they can't add any more There's nobody else to add they predicted it right and so like by the fourth one like the diversity you're getting is just bad haircuts it's all dress yeah you can just add like just the shittiest haircuts you've ever seen in your life movies are so weird acting is weird in general because you watch stuff and then you're like this is bad right like this is bad acting whatever and then when you're in it and when you're entertainment like you get you get auditions and I'm like, I could just do the bad acting.

Like I could do with bad acting. Yeah. Yeah. Like great acting. That's what I say. Aim low. Yeah. I mean, I told you it's all about, I'm like, I can do this role bad. Like, yeah. How you guys book it? Yeah. So just take me. It's supposed to be bad, right? Yeah. Like I can, I can play this bad. Sometimes I was just on the phone phone when I walked in my agent's calling me. Sometimes I get sent an audition They're like a Dominican stand-up comedian from Queens. I'm like I could just do this bad Like I could just be that like at the very minimum. I lived the life this way Yeah, but it's always what they think is it not what it actually right? Yeah, it's what they believe it is Yeah, most of the auditions you get for like comedian

stuff, they want like, they want this updated idea of like a UCB guy from like 2010. 100%. You know, but all those guys are in prison for rape, so they can't get the actual one. So they sent it to like regular comedians. And it's like, I don't have a purple hoodie and pearl snaps. I don't know what to tell you. And man tits. So walking into an audition room and having like execs tell you what a comedian is, it's hilarious when you're like, I live this every single day of my life. Comedians don't act this way. Yeah. I just started taking my clothes off and they're like, we don't do that anymore. It's all girls here now.

It used to be guys that make you take your clothes off. Come on. We have ladies now. I've been to explain to a thing like this quirky guy most comedians are not that just like Regular people who are actually pretty dark and it's also funny to see that that is all guys that look like you too It's all versions of yourself. Yeah Yeah I don't know if I prefer that cuz sometimes I'll go where is that like I'll get submitted for a row and it's like Everybody looks like me and you're like, alright, so you're just looking for a look But then sometimes I'm like they're looking for like a 6-4

White quarterback and I'm like, am I just auditioning to fill a quota? I got a play the Brady Tom Brady just give it to him. Yeah audition I I went to an audition of vo audition once and it was for anybody that can do a Homer Simpson impression Yeah, and it was awesome because it was just me in a bunch of Homer Simpsons in a room Just a bunch of guys. Hey, how are you doing? No You know, they're trying to work whatever they try to convince you they're like, you know

They don't know they're like they don't know exactly what they're looking for I'm like in the scene that says they're trying to work whatever they're trying to convince you they're like, you know, they don't know they're like They don't know exactly what they're looking for. I'm like in the scene that says they're looking for a Tom Brady type I don't my acting is nowhere near you can do it. No, no, come on, bro It's a convinced you could do it like we're not gonna go with the six three gay quarterback I've ever seen these allegations like that multifacial was that Vin Diesel short film multifacial. No, it's just it's him playing an actor But it's him going to auditions and having to play like because nobody knows what race Vin Diesel is

Yeah, so he goes to one audition. He's like, let me tell you some homeboy, you know And then he's an Italian guy and he's like, you know different what I thought we used to be in porn I thought it was that he did I thought multi-facial was from his Early gay porn. Yeah, was that he did I thought multi-facial was from his early gay porn Yeah, I think he may have done it actually on paper like what do they say? I don't they just don't say I don't think they use Drake. Yeah. Yeah He's only ever like it's like one of those you know how like people be like I'll never tell anyone what my sex That's it is and then it's always they're just straight

You know I mean it's always like I think those guys that are like they're like I don't think it's anybody's business The last one I went in for I was like so nervous, but it was all like adrenaline So I was like like extra and it was like all these actors that looked like me And they're all like nervous betas, and I'm like look and one of them is like oh, I love the show And I was like that's right, dude. I'm I'm a famous person right I was like feeling myself, and I was like oh It's real funny We all look the same they're like, huh And it was just me and one other guy left in the room and I just like can't stop talking and I'm like

I was like you ever been like you ever been like movies and something. He's like, yeah. Yeah a bit Yeah, I was like, have you been like the main guy in a movie? I didn't like I don't know why I said main guy It was like obnoxious. He's like Yeah, I guess but like you wouldn't have seen my face and I was like oh so you like you're in cartoons and he's like he's like I am spongebob square no he was like he's like no he's like yeah you know the like you know the Planet of the Apes movie in the theaters right now He's like, yeah, it's a star And I was a star monkey. He was a star monkey. Yeah, and I was like, oh fuck The monkeys course their professional actor

Like is some guy was like I love the talk show I was like, oh I'm like when you're I got this you get put Into these rooms where people are like, yeah, I'm actually the star of the new Planet of the Apes. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, I don't see you. I was like, why am I here? Yeah. I auditioned for one thing. This is one of my early on auditions for a TV show they were making.

And I got a callback. I think I got three callbacks. It went down to the end, I guess. And then it went to Ludacris. I'm like, why did you guys? Did you know that Ludacris is 5 foot one? That's what we were running Yeah, no, he's not five one, but he's short Yeah, you sure everyone's short not me no no

Six four yeah, how's the weather down there, bro? Is this what your fans believe I'm a 3d guy? I'm awake you ever had an audition where you really wanted to get it cuz some of you that was the first one I wanted to get I like this would be cool. I was nervous. Yeah. Yeah, I like yeah, but it was like Obviously a professional actor is no Philip Seymour Hoffman son got it What is he done other than Vicarious Pizza. I don't think so. Anything. Maybe.

Maybe he's done something. I just did one where I was supposed to be Tracy Morgan's son. I was like I really want to do this one. The homosexual that got stabbed? No not that one. The other one. The straight one that became a lawyer. It's called stabbing your gay son. That was just crowd work. That was just crowd work that went south.

Yeah, yeah. I laughed. I laughed. You seen Baron Trump? That boy just keeps going. Yeah, he's like 6'10". We gotta get him in our league. We gotta get him in this

league. I think he's non him in the NBA I think he's nonverbal well I think he's like changed like I think now he's like a like a playboy I think is he I think so I thought he was just I thought he like could teleport and live on Mars he has like swag I had no idea I'm going off old pictures yeah he goes on adventures yeah yeah no he's changed I'll mention this I will be in Irvine, California. Yeah Irvine improv September you go to my website. You can pull it up, but please come out. There's still plenty of tickets available. That's September

It's huge What's 17 16 17 September 17th and 18th? I think or maybe 20 something 21 through 23 But there are tickets available on my website, and then I'll be at the Lincoln Theatre in DC and then the Wilbur Theatre in Boston the next weekend those are available on my website, and then so you said we're at what 17? Okay, also yeah That we added a fourth show for London on the 21st of September So there are tickets now available for that. Have you done London before? No, it's my first time. Yeah Yeah, we saw it. We they're all they keep adding shows. It's nice. Congrats, man. Yeah. Yeah, those are great comedy city Yeah, really? Yeah, that's I would say probably most of the stand-up you hear from England is like doodoo the people there

They just love it It's like if you if you think that trans people like stop it, and then it's like it's not bad Not a bad bit. Yeah, no if you against JK Rowling, maybe stop it. Yeah, they just make good points They don't make they don't really do good. Sorry are good, too You know they're funny though no no, but they're good points Well, they work I guess yeah. Yeah, if everyone thinks it's a good boy. Yeah, that's a good point Yeah, it's better than nothing. It's better than not funny and no point. Yeah, and Everyone disagree right? Yeah

There's that you ever met that comic. Yeah thinks he's making a great point Yeah, I love those guys because they for the most part They never really go past like the open mic level or like, you know, some of them, you know now I feel like it's a little easier to like you could sneak in now Well, maybe I don't know cuz you could just make clips on tik tok of whatever. Yeah convinced of bad points Yeah Convinced people that you're a good comment They'll come out to see you so you could finesse your way out the open mic scene, but that's hilarious

What somebody thinks the guys that would like hold court after open mic? Yeah, you know and they would always have like like fucking five ten like just Mentally disabled guys, you know, where's bodies ever? Yeah, just listening to one guy Wearing like a bowtie and like a newsie cat being like you got to make yourself undeniable Like I'm like Please don't I remember that guy? Yeah who was an open mic for like eight years, so you respected I don't know those guys so much well I never respected them, but I guess that's the success of kiltonia's it's just like platforms those psychopaths

It uh it seemss it seems so people love those psychos I had a friend I'm waiting for a guy to go on the show with a gun and actually shoot Tony Hinchcliffe to death and then when everyone's mad he's like what I had a very do I win the gift card or not where is the outback steakhouse gift card do I get to be chain? I'm dying to try this blooming onion I've been hearing about You hear sometimes you hear I like you'll hear I have friends who you know They're like, oh they I want to go on kill Tony and I'm like, but what's your thing?

Like you're just gonna you're just gonna do a bit like you're not gonna act like you're you know Like what the spectrum or homeless like I have a thing I'm gonna shit my pants yeah that's good see you tell me that I'm like okay that's good what else but that's my thing then what that is my thing you know I thought this shit will work for the minute but then when you do the interaction you gotta do something else I told you I talked to that kid on Friday who is at MSG for for seven and a half hours waiting to hear his name needed and hear it yeah shout out to him that, he's like I would have bodied it though. Yeah, I get it. I I like the confidence

Yeah two years in I think I would have thought if you gave me a shot at Madison Square Garden I would have bodied it right? That's like the thing when you're a beginner. You just don't know Anything so you're just like yeah put me up in front of 15,000 people for a minute without context out What would you have dropped two years in? What was your early act like I know I I had I feel like I always have perspective in that sense Like I didn't even leave open mic till I was like two and a half three years in I had no interest in like Performing in real shows. I was like, I'm not ready. Yeah, I had that perspective Gary. Yeah I also had no one over but I think if somebody would have offered and come I would have done it

Yeah, I mean how could you not? Yeah. Yeah, you just you just at the beginning you got to believe that you're really really Good, you gotta believe that you're the one. Yeah It's only like people starting for years that are like, oh no, this is terrible. I made a horrific choice There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path You got to be undeniable dropping gems. What what will really bake your noodle later on is Would you still have knocked it over if I hadn't said anything? I think I remember the guy you're talking about the guy with the news book cap at the creek Oh, yeah, very specific that guy that guy used to drop knowledge you guys did open mics together

Yeah You got you pop pretty early well I moved here and I get they would only put me up at the stand because Patrick liked that blog I had Okay, but I I kind of moved here feeling like I already had failed at comedy and I just wanted to live in New York. But I was friends with Soder and Mike Lawrence and I think it's Patrick also. So they would put me up and I would just bomb at the stand. But didn't you get new faces like a couple years ago?

I got new faces when I was 22. Yeah, that's crazy. But it didn't lead to anything, you know? No, it never does. Yeah, I know. And I... It does, but it does to some people. Well, it doesn't exist anymore, but it used to, right? New York changed sort of the playing field for me.

It's like I saw there was all these other opportunities, there's other things that I could do, and then I started writing. You're from Austin, right? You could say, yeah. I mean, that's what gave me my career as Austin more than anything. I mean, like, Cap City, city they would book me they bumped me up the feature pretty quickly. Yes, and then Rich Miller who owned cap city He was doing all the like feature booking for the helium which at that time was only Philly in Portland But then they got me in in San Antonio

I mean I did one weekend in San Antonio and then they said I could never work that club again San Antonio. I mean I did one weekend in San Antonio and then they said I could never work that club again. That's the dream. Play every club once. Not because of my act. They had one show where there was like eight audience. Have you done LOL in San Antonio? No that's a big room though. It's a big room. There were like maybe eight to twelve people there. It was one table. They didn't come together. They were kind of scattered around and I went on stage after the hosts and I was like Jesus Christ and then I said to them I'm hosts and I was like, Jesus Christ. And then I said to them, I'm like, yeah, I'm sorry they didn't just refund you your money.

I don't know why we're even doing this. Oh, you disrespect them. They got mad at that? The owner of the club was there when I said that. And he's like, oh, this guy doesn't have the right attitude to work this business. He's deniable. Yeah. So he's deniable.

I am deniable. Yeah. Yeah. That's one thing you don't think about when you start where you're like, oh at a certain point people have to want to see me Yeah, I have fans. Yeah, you just think that like get fans. Yeah No one no one did no one tells you that yeah You just think that like you just get better and then people will see how good you are. Yeah, right It's a meritocracy. Yeah, no just be like I gotta go see this guy

Yeah, and then you're at I just did you do in the Irvine that's a huge room too it's too big I just did an improv the Milwaukee improv it's like 450 seats the improvs are all huge they're insane San Jose is like a theater yes it was a converted theater that was a sad weekend for me really I was like yeah I didn't get anyone up on the top And I thought I was my career was over I'm not like a real failure because it was so big you guys literally have fans though Yeah, like we didn't neither me and him see I I stopped doing stand-up because like I felt like I did everything that I like

I didn't see myself getting better right you know I felt like I Maximized my own potential and then from that point on it would just be writing more jokes But like whatever it takes to be I'm not likable You know I'm not like I'm never gonna be a household name because I'm not like charismatic And people don't like me right and they're never going to so I could that's true Oh, yeah, something you just think about yourself. It's true, and he's not like no way so Loves him you know he's the best maybe comics, but like regular people. Yeah, you have a lot I go in here today almost anybody almost anybody can go into a grocery store and like have a kind of exchange with the cashier

Where they both kind of laugh about something be like wow? You know like this these coupons never expire, whatever they say. Any time in my life I've ever tried to do that, people been like, what are you what are you talking about? Well, I mean, that's but that's what I would say that red is like conflict. And there's not conflict. Yeah, I'm not going to debate. Look, I'm not going to debate on your charisma. But you do have a thing where you're unapologetically yourself. And people do gravitate towards that.

People enjoy that. No. And, yeah. Let me just put it this way. That's how it felt. Whether it's true or not, that's how it kind of felt. It felt like going further and just sort of like write jokes. And then other opportunities came up when I got to New York and then it's like, oh,

there's like writing stuff. There's other stuff you can do. Ultimately, all I really want to do is just be funny and then find like new and different ways to do that. I want to laugh. I want to laugh at things and like even just making things happen. That's why like the internet back when no one knew who I was, I could go on Twitter and pretend to be somebody or stir up an argument with people.

That was fun to me. Cause like, it's like, you're making something funny happen. And, um, and so like I kind of just see that I was like you know and then that led to the old podcast and that was fun you know and then I was deferred the first one you started what the old when you say the old podcast like come to the come yeah yeah we were doing that it was like okay this is like a new way to be fun yeah I remember when you guys started that yeah and then and so I kind of just sort of fell off with stand up because I didn't really,

I like struggled to see what I could do like with it that I couldn't do with like other stuff. And then Adam just stopped because he was making money and he just wanted to hang out. Was that an incredibly lazy guy? Yeah. He's just a lazy guy. Yeah. Yeah.

One of the most. But I feel that maybe you don't know this because you just live life as you. So you don't experience you from the outside you experience it from the inside But like every time that you're around I feel like people are in a good mood because they never see me Yeah, because I don't come around yeah, you know maybe maybe that's the thing you withhold Yeah, you withhold so when you come around people like if you say is that three times he shows up You don't get excited about a white tiger Yeah, you know what I mean? It's not around a lot if there was a tiger at the club eating people every day

You'd be like, I don't care what color it is. Yeah. Yeah, this is a black's only you stay to yourself though You're not you're not at the you're not You're not at the club trying to like i've thought about that the other day Like if I were black and I lived in the segregated south, I would like...my thinking would be if they had segregation, I would just start opening places and be like, it's blacks only. No whites allowed, blacks only.

Just do this thing where I'm aggressively leaning into segregation. There's a white guy just walking down the street, he's not even walking anywhere close to your barbershop. You're like, I'm sorry, sir It's blacks only I look like you were trying to come in here. No whites Just be really annoying until I like So you know if you were a black guy in the segregated south, you would just be a white guy

I want a white guy to white guy. Yeah, just pretend you were white Yeah to them, but then you just do it the other way because you're guy to white guys. Just pretend you were white. Yeah, do that. But then you just do it the other way. You'd be racist to white guys. There would be nothing they could do about it. They're like, we need a law that says that no more segregation. They're like, well, ah, damn, fuck. You know, that's what I, that would be my... Civil rights hero.

Yeah, I wouldn't go to a restaurant and be like, you can arrest me, I'm having my chili. I'd be like, no, we're going to make better chili and you're not allowed to have it we're gonna I would lie I put a menu out front and the names would be crazy and then I would have other black people come in and be like be like that was the best goon de la baba I've ever had in my life I think I think some delicious food I've ever had and they're like what the hell is goon de la baba and you're like sorry goon de la baba it's blacks only you know you can't have it it's like chocolate, it's black soul. You know, you can't have it. It's like chocolate hours I think black people will come and be like this dude's too radical

My dude's extreme I get the glasses Go to the white restaurant just chill out guys, I'd also change my name to Morpheus Wait, so what was the longest you took from stand-up both of you's I mean over over the last like I certainly I didn't Think I did a single set for like three years really after yeah, like yeah for a long time Yeah, so Chicago. I knew I was like that was like two years. Yeah, what'd you do in Chicago? Which one? I did Lincoln Lodge. This was like oh, that's a that's that's four three years ago now, but yeah, I was like that was like two years. Yeah, what'd you do in Chicago? Which one I did Lincoln Lodge This was like oh, that's a that's that's four three years ago now, but yeah, Nick was like right before he went up He's like, it's been three years. I was like really

Yeah, I see Happen I had a tour plan and the pandemic happened. I didn't go on stage Yeah, you know that got canceled and then I didn't really do anything Yeah, but it But stand-up's fun like it's especially now because that was the other thing I took a bunch of time off and then like going back on the road there was like ticket sales because nobody had seen me. That's the good thing. And then the second year it's like the ticket sales because okay we saw this guy now you have to start building an audience people will come see you like kind of year after year and Once the ticket sales started to fall off. It's like then it made it where I can just do stand-up because it's like this is just fun

Yes, you know, yes, and then in the last year I've actually like I still like, you know, it's like you get on a plane and I want to do it But then the actual shows I'm enjoying they're good. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's the thing that people when you start selling tickets I don't think why would we realize it? But you sell some tickets and you just think that you just have to consistently be on the road Like they'll never get tired of you. Like it's gonna be a consistent climb for some people That's how it's been the last two or three years for the last two or three years Yeah, but I've heard I've heard some people say the same thing you're saying where it's like well now it's slowing down like

Yeah, I'm coming to the same city too I think and now I'd also to having to tour because I never really toured as a headliner You know so like now I have a good idea of what the clubs are which ones are fun and like going forward I think I'll only I'll probably just like hit the clubs that I like Yeah, you know and and and just stick with those and then try to be mindful of like, you know markets and stuff, right? Right. Yeah, you know, how about you? How long did you take? I mean, I guess there was kovat too, but then I started a little bit before Nick. I started again and stuff. Right. Right. Yeah. You know, how about you? How long did you take? I mean, I guess there was covid too, but then I started a little bit before Nick. I started again. Yeah. So, yeah.

But I guess it was like around two years at that time. Yeah. We always had that weekly show. So I'd like. But yeah, I wasn't like on the road consistently until the last couple of years. Since I started, I started 13 years ago. I've only I took maybe two and a half months off and I was during COVID that was the only time like that was the only time I took a I started 13 as well you gotta you gotta really love anything you do in life you gotta love it yeah you know and it's like if if you don't have that even if it's like partly like you know okay well it should just be

for my career then it's like it just becomes a drag it does I could see that I sometimes I envy the guys who's like I don't love it I'm just good at it. So I do it. You're like, oh, that's also pretty much every every single comedian will recognize They're playing like a small intimate club is more fun than a big venue. Yeah, there's not I don't think there's anybody that like disagrees with that Yeah, I've never like headline my own huge like theaters things But the times I have worked with like some of my friends in it I'm like this seems cool it seems rock star mm-hmm so I don't know well there there goes my point no no but I actually do big theaters and stadiums it's actually not I think stand-up wise I

could see that though obviously stand-up wise performing for actually. Yeah, actually a hundred hundred seaters hundred is the is the Nigga come back. He's taking another break from just tell me you tell me you made that tell me you're doing a bit Tell him it's not cool. I think we have ads to read out. Okay, we want to talk to you about Which Adam uses by the way, they set him up with a Mint Mobile phone and he's been loving it. I've been loving it. My Mint Mobile, I love a great deal as much as the next guy. That is true Nick. But I'm not going to crawl through a bed of hot coals just to save a few bucks. I hate that. A couple of times I've done that. I said this was not worth it. I've got third degree burns. Yeah. I've been in a great deal. I've been in the hospital for six weeks. I have PTSD. Yeah. Yeah. A great deal for me has to be easy. No hoops, no BS bullshit it means. So when Mint Mobile said it was easy to get wireless

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Yeah. So I've got a Mint Mobile. It's fresh. I just picked it up at the Tesco. The longest part of the process was when, was the time I spent waiting on hold to break up with my old provider Did you copy my fucking water bottle bottle color? No, I've had that longer Actually, if you're a fan of the show, you can go to the tape. I've actually had it longer To get started go to mint mittmobile.com slash tafs.

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Oh, it's only for new customers on their first three month plan speed slower above above 40 but this is a lot thank God there's unlimited minutes so if Adam had to do this over the phone new customers all bull okay you have all day to learn well no guys I'm not gonna reading that's why I do the ads $45 up front payment required equivalent to $15 a month new customers on their first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on the unlimited plan additional taxes and fees and restrictions apply see mint mobile for

details thank you so much and this is the next one okay and we're. I'm gonna try and get into baking tonight, I think. What are you gonna bake? Well, I've had a stand mixer for years and I don't really use it. And every time I see it, I'm like, I should be eating cookies and stuff. Maybe I'll do like a Matrix themed, I play the Oracle and I make cookies and I'm also Neo and I can have just a conversation with myself in my apartment where... Just like you're on a play date, but you're alone. I can see a just a conversation with myself in my apartment where just like you're on a playdate She likes you

Schizophrenia yeah, yeah whoo not very bright though. You know it's my special time alone I have 30,000 calories worth of homemade cookies. I Want gluten-free now, so I can't have that crap. You know that why'd you go glue free? I think I'm allergic my skin's clear now I can't have that crap. You know that why'd you go glue free? I think I'm allergic I'm my skin is clear now. I think it was beer this whole time It would be awesome to redo the matrix, but when Neo wakes up in the pod It's just stop right and then when he's on the ship. They don't give him clothes Penis there, and he's like this is what I look like in real life. Yeah

They're like I But yeah, I mean we didn't know this is bad took you out of the pod But and then they go back in and he looks like me again. He's like yeah Well, this is what you think you look like I guess yeah In your mind this is he thinks he's John way way this is what you look like and then he's like Newborn baby, yeah, he's got a newborn baby. He's got placenta everywhere. He just keeps eating it.

He's always eating some of the goo. So Ian, you're from Queens. Yes sir. Does that ever make you feel gay? Queens? Yeah, because it's called that. Yeah, yeah. It's like if I was from a...

You know everyone's laughing about that. If I was from a place called Homo's, you know, I'd be like, well, let's change the name. You don't have to look at it like that. Yeah, I was from like homos a place called homos, you know, I'd be like well Mm-hmm. Let's change the name. I've never looked at it like that. Yeah from gossips. Well, I was born in Brooklyn. That's Kings. That's less gay That's Kang's. Yeah, that's well, that's gay to you. Less gay. Oh less gay. It's a less gay. No Kings. That's awesome That's where I live King, but then you chose to move to Queens Yeah, I moved to Queens when I was a teenager my family They moved me there. Oh, it was their choice. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I like it

I think this is a dope burro and Kevin James Everyone respects him there because the Kegel Queen. Yeah, he still has his Monarchy a lot of those I remember I used to watch King and Queens a lot of the neighborhoods was like around my neighborhood But they show was it was it accurate? Yeah, I mean it was filmed in Los Angeles I believe but they were just showing. I pitched a show called the Sting of Queens and it's WCW Sting. Just in Queens? Yeah and then it's the same show and all the other characters say stuff and he's just staring at them. With the mask or no mask? Yeah the face paint. he's up in the rafters Yeah, he works at UPS still. Yeah. Yeah, his wife's a Scientologist. Mm-hmm Yeah, how about the Kings of Queens and it's Steve Harvey?

Cedric the entertainer entertainer DL. Hugley Bernie Mac Just living in Queens. Yeah, same show except they all four of them take turns playing Kevin James's. Yeah, they should They sure no one can tell because they can't tell black people the white characters Things is like the same guy like she's like we just talked about this five minutes ago. That's not Harvey's just dropping He has a microphone like Family Feud. He's Mm-hmm. It gives a sitcom, but he's talking into the mic. Yeah. Yeah Mm-hmm. It's a sitcom, but he's talking into the mic. Yeah. Yeah

And still somehow everyone realizes that deal. He leaves the worst one, even though they think it's the same guy They're like he's just off that they're like what's wrong what's wrong with you today? Yeah the same guy We must be the other one. He's the worst one. I think so. Yeah, I mean they're all the other three are the best the best ones I mean especially Steve the real coincidentally he's the only one still doing stand-up really do he's only one touring stand-up that's true Steve has too many jobs yeah he quit stand-up like five years ago we gotta get him back but he's also like I think he's like 75 years old he's like up there yeah he's like late 60s for sure yeah he's an institution that man Steve Harvey we love him loves me crazy that people do stand up that like Rich Voss is still touring he's been doing stand-up since 1967 yeah he's a work with Pryor. Yeah. Yeah. He was coming up with Woody. 50 years?

Yeah, that isn't saying that people do it that long. Have you seen The Irishman? Yeah. That's sort of just the story of Rich Voss getting started in comedy back in the 20s. What's the longest you've heard somebody doing it? Rich Voss, 87 years. You've heard somebody doing it rich Voss 87 years George Wallace, I think he's like 60 plus. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah, he's funny. Yeah, he'll still come by I still would have like a no patent from him. He's Seinfeld's favorite comedian apparently

Really? Yeah, I don't like him anymore. I don't like him anymore. Yeah. Yeah Do you see Seinfeld crying about Israel? Do you see that clip? He's crying Israel. Yeah, they after they killed those that woman and her twins. He goes don't laugh It's not funny The Kramer yeah, yeah, just stop laughing. It's not funny That video is awesome. You know talking about of course when he did what was it the tonight show? Yeah? Yeah, and Kramer comes on to apologize. Okay. He's on like a monitor. Yeah, they bring him in like a fucking a mr. Rogers He comes in on the trolley. Yeah, he's like, I'm deeply sorry and the audience starts laughing

He's like apologizing court. He's apologizing like Kramer like It's also so funny to call two people the n-word and then apologize to David Letterman and Jerry Seinfeld about it Senial back say sorry Yeah, we got to bring him back to I think There should be the original cancelled Kings of Comedy where we got Cosby. That's not bad. Yeah Cosby Kramer. I Think those are pretty much the only cause you so wise to write. Yeah, is he in jail? He's touring. Yeah, I thought he's blind Yeah, he's aging like a cat

He's like he's like 90 years old. He's probably incredible. So stand up Santa boy as a guy I'm As a Riz master So great with the girls yeah, they end up he's I hear he's pretty good still Yeah, here's the thing about and this going to get me in a lot of trouble. Oh gosh. But, you know, he raped all these women.

Right. And apparently he was using roofies to do it. Spanish fly. That's my point. You can't convince me that society thought that was bad at the time if they're calling it Spanish fly. You know what I mean? It sounds like a Blacksploitation film from the 70s. If he was talking about, yeah, you slip him

a little date rape drug, it's like, well, it's right there in the name, Bill. They weren't calling it that. You know what I mean? I see the point. I go McDonald's. You're saying that the name's too cool? I go to McDonald's.

I have a Big Mac. If you change the name to the Holocaust burger I'd stop eating it sure you know what I mean you say he was doing the speed limit of the time Exactly yes, it wasn't illegal when he I mean it was illegal, but it had it was like Illegal in the way that speeding is right you know which who doesn't which is just don't get caught I became famous I bought a Porsche and I'm doing 120 the other day. Yes, I'm nodding so much what I'm yes, and then no, but you can't that Yeah, you can't what I think is I think the name stinks personally. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I hate bugs I'm just trying to put an idea in your head

Good points in your head. Good points. That's all it is. When I was like... Because it's not about what you know, it's about what you believe about yourself. That's true. The Matrix. The Matrix. Bagger Vance. Yeah. You're just dropping truth bombs. When I was like single, I't have and I had no money I didn't have enough money to take girls to like I was too like broke so I'd say oh I'm gonna like come over I'll cook for you. That was my move and I priced like a meal down to like six dollars and seventy five cents. No way. Yeah. You was cooking a meal for seven dollars? Yeah well I a couple items I would steal maybe a little bit yeah steak no no but like I mean how's your finger doing by the way it's it's it's healing just a band-aid now he cut the entire top of his finger off

it's a bit I was I saw there was a viral cucumber salad I saw on Instagram reels that I tried to make for my girlfriend and then I had to go to the hospital for a minute I hope you recorded it. That's a good clip Cucumber salad fail Thank you guys I cut the top of my finger off, but he lies all the time So I was like send a picture and he sends a picture Just go time so I was like send a picture and he sends a picture just go it's just fucking gone and it is like his dumb tiny hand being held by like this like male nurses hand it's just dwarfed by like a glove you want to hear something

worse when they put the glue on it at the urgent care that's what you want yeah why where should I've gotten the writs what a missing finger it's not a miss it's the top it didn't go to the bone listen okay when they put the glue on it to seal the wound it was I released a yell of excruciating pain like when a cartoon character goes into the women's bathroom by accident. Yeah, it was that noise well Like that how did how how did you do that? Huh? I found out that what my scream is is a woman's scream Yeah, is that is a high-pitched scream the nurse told you no

no I heard myself my body do it did you address it or you just kind of let it go what I say I'm not gay to the guy yeah no yeah it was really yeah are you a cook because you were cooking for you he He was making cucumbers. I know but he said I was using a mandolin cut his oh, okay his hand using a machine that cuts cucumbers for you Okay, but okay, so I would make a spaghetti and meat sauce for girls. Yeah, that's not expensive Yeah, okay. It's not that expensive, but it yeah, I'll cook you dinner ever have But, yeah, come over, I'll cook you dinner. Ever have Kraft Mac and cheese? Well, ever have spaghetti?

In retrospect, let me make you a wonderful spaghetti. First of all, I'm making a heavy meat sauce for a girl. It's not like a sex kind of thing. From scratch, the meat sauce? Well, yeah, so I bought ground turkey instead of ground beef. OK. And then he puts that in ragu. Well, in retrospect, I was giving girls tryptophan and at the time I didn't realize that I'm making like I'm just like

It's like Thanksgiving. Are you women? I didn't know I didn't do it But like yeah in retrospect I was like I was making girls tired. I was doing like a light Cosby I didn't do I didn't do on anything anything I'm trying but I would do the same thing I don't know how to cook so I would I would invite women over and then I slowly released gas for my a For about two hours until then it's so subtle. They don't realize it It just starts kind of smelling worse and worse But it's not acute enough where they'd be like what's going on and then before they know it They're just everyone's out like I pass out too, so

We usually come to a couple hours later the fire departments there And then a date night for you Yeah, and they're like we're looking for a gas leak, but there's no gas lines in this apartment and I say well It's a mystery to be solved another day gentlemen Yeah, and then what where's the girls and then I invite the firemen to watch the matrix with me and then you become best friends yeah yeah that's pretty cool yes then in retrospect I'm like I should like I have ever considered that a guy like me could maybe be the neo of the fire department just moving in on the couch trying to get a job at the fire they're

like dude it's not how it works yeah I gotta like take a test and shit. No, I don't think we'll be doing that I Don't think we'll be taking any test so you feel wrong for giving girls turkey I think feels wrong in retrospect it feels wrong to give them turkey. Yeah, it's like it has a Chemical that makes you sleepy. I Don't want to get cause I don't want to be Cosby 2.0 from a spaghetti and bolognese. Yeah. I guess that's a great point. That's kind of what I mean. I eat turkey all the time. If they change its name to Rape Bird, you won't do it. Yeah, right. Who knew? He probably didn't even know. He probably thought it was an actual fly. Now, were these girls getting tired?

I don't remember a girl specifically ever getting tired. Too many to remember, dude. But, it's just, you should go there. A heavy meal for a woman on a dick appointment? I don't think it's a good idea, necessarily. Yeah. For a girl, like, give her like a rack of ribs, perhaps, or something? Ooh, I'm gonna go have a rack of ribs.

That is a light, it's what I would refer to as a light Cosby. A rack of ribs for a dick appointment is a pretty crazy move. Yeah, yeah. You could take a girl at Tony Roma's. You wanna keep it light. Yeah, you wanna keep it light. A salad day. A cucumber salad. A cucumber salad day with a finger in it. Yeah. But it is gonna be a while before I get my, it's gonna be a finger in it. Yeah. But it is going to be a while

before I get my, it's going to be a flat finger now. When they do the pig thing where it's got an apple in its mouth, was the pig like eating the apple when they killed it? I never understood that. Is it like they give it an apple and then it's halfway through eating it and then they bake it?

Oh, to be nice? No. I mean I've seen this done. Is it that's how it's like done like it does something like the blood sugar or something of the pig? Like a pig roast. Yeah yeah yeah like a Hawaiian luau kind of thing. I've never actually been like seen one of those in real life. Are you supposed to eat the apple? Yes. Yeah barbecued apple. Yeah, absolutely. Have you been in one of those? Yeah, I've seen it created. The times, I mean, the did it, the apple was not in the pig's mouth when they killed it. Oh, that's put it in after. You've seen it created? Yeah, like made. Oh,

oh, oh, but you mean, but not the invention of the pig? No, I was not there for that. They put the apple in after? Yes. Oh, okay. And then what does that do? What's the point of that? I think it's decoration. Oh, it's a garnish.

It's funny. Yeah. It's like, look at this pig. Look at this idiot. He was eating it and then we killed him. Yeah, yeah. I never could eat it like that. I always, that was too, seemed a little barbaric for me.

I kind of like that. just digging into the stomach. Yeah Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think it's actually pretty wrong that we eat them Out of it and out of any of the animals we there like pigs. I think they're the smartest ones. They like know they're alive It's kind of fucked up You shouldn't kid you should turkeys out pig is a bird is an idiot. Oh, that's not a guy a fish isn't a guy No fish is not a dude. Yeah fish is a guy trait a cow's a guy a pig is like My dog is dumber than a pig really yeah, I wouldn't even my dog no Yeah, pigs pigs are smart when I did Montreal

I was in the French quarter in a little park and there was a lady walking a pig like a Vietnamese pig really that She couldn't get it to move like it was on its leash and she's like come on We have to go home and its penis was out and it was coming and also shitting at the same time See that's what you do on kill Tony and I walked up and I was like oh my god a pig and she just didn't Want anything of it and I'm like, what's his name? She's like, we're just trying I'm just trying to get him home right now. Thanks Well, that's what you meant. I looked down try to have like a normal interaction. That's what I mean. Yeah, no one likes him, man It's like dude, please. I was trying to get my pig home. Yeah He's trying to make a joke. He's trying to raise her

Please I was trying to get my pig home. Yeah, he was trying to make a joke. He was trying to raise her Yeah, no that I've said it too many times on the show But I got a I got a pit bull like just on a whim and then like the fourth day I got it. It was in a horrendous Dog fight really on the streets a baby one She was like a one-year-old. Yeah a little bit. Yeah, but I like some guy like bread fighting dogs In bedside and he was like, yeah I she just had puppies that I've know she has nowhere to live So I just took her and then I thought I was such a great guy

I was like look at me this master of beasts, you know like look at this like like murder weapon that I'm walking around my neighborhood. And then there was another one they got in a horrific fight. And just like all of like, a stroller like, I'm still with her Hillary Clinton Brooklyn was like, there were just women crying and stuff. And like, we didn't know how to like pull them apart. And then just like a kind of a like a bagger vans like ghosts like Old man shows up and he was like he's like yeah, you got to put a stick in that dog's ass Yeah, and so yeah, so then I did it and then he they disappeared did the dogs die No, no, my dog is still alive. You just have her. Yeah. Yeah, she's depressed

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That is true. I was trying to make a viral cucumber salad that I saw on Instagram reels for my girlfriend, but I was distracted by my own ass. Mm-hmm. And I suffered a horrific and gruesome injury. Because of the fear of thieves. Were there any stitches for that,

or they just glued the top? They glued it because they There was the skin was gone. So yeah, I hope it heals to the inside of your nose Because you can't help but pick your nose. Maybe it makes me an even better nose picker No, maybe the the beast will finally be unleashed. This guy picks his nose and eats it You you like to lie to right? It's a costly. Yeah Constantly yeah. Why'd you ask it like that? No cause I remember he said that and I was interested in that. Oh no but it's always like nothing. It's always like oh you don't look fat and that. But they do look fat. Yeah

but they look nasty and disgusting. But that's kind of like nice of you. Yeah I'm just the greatest guy ever. If I was a hugely fat woman I would say that all that would be my big joke Is like coming in anytime I put any new clothes on coming to room be like does this make me look fat? If I could somehow be a morbidly obese woman and also a black eye and segregated south at the same time I think it's a good plan that you have. Mmhmm I think that that would would have done something maybe just set up a fake restaurant doesn't have you have people come in But they're like oh my god You know the best ever yeah, there's just nothing in there. It's a slot car set That's an interesting point

I wonder if during those times there was restaurants where you couldn't eat there cuz of your race But you felt the food was so good that you're just like man Can you just give me some of the fries from there? I'll eat it like in my house What do you mean like in second during segregation like if you were like a black guy who couldn't go out of the white restaurant? Yeah, but you heard the food was so good. Yeah, you had like a white friend and you're like, hey man Well, yeah, they would do they have would have to like order from the back window So they did sell to them because that's what yeah. Yeah, I mean they were just they were segregated dining But then yeah, if you place an order, it's like yeah only through the back window. Yeah. Yeah, and they probably ripped them off and stuff

Yeah, that's unfortunate. I'm glad that's not That common anymore. Yeah, it's crazy And it's crazy too because it's like after the Civil War they like that wasn't supposed to happen, right? You know, it wasn't like the civil we'd had the Civil War and then afterwards you're like okay But still Segregation and stuff it's like the South just kind of made that happen Yeah, separate, but equal was like not part of reconstruction. Yeah, right yeah Yeah, they were like well check this out. It took like a hundred years to fix it. Yeah

Yeah, so this what really the 60s the Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So this, what, really the sixties? The late sixties? Yeah, yeah. Even later actually. Yeah.

Some schools were like reintegrated in the seventies. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. That's pretty wild. It is pretty wild. Hundred years later. It is pretty wild.

Speaking of, I watched Remember the Titans the other day. Yeah. And that has to be just it hits every time the way you just see the boys come the town coming together sports is really just beautiful sometimes when it when it comes to that yes yeah and that's it that's in Virginia right yeah yeah yeah that's the funniest thing about radio is they're not really they're not really racist they're just anti mentally disabled people like the the whole town doesn't have like the the most conservative They're not really racist, they're just anti-mentally disabled people.

Like the whole town doesn't have, like the most conservative guys in town aren't mad that he's black, they're mad that he's mentally disabled. They're like, we can't have this fucking idiot wandering the schools. He's gonna bring down the learning His dick is too big yeah Was that I like that movie I know it's I haven't seen in so long It's a reference radio a lot. It's yeah, it's one of one of Nick's greatest hits I mean, it's like it's designed to be extremely sentimental But like if you just give into that it's like everyone's being to be extremely sentimental, but like if you just give into that

It's like everyone's being so fucking mean the radio for no reason It's true yourself brain damage we create them and watch radio you'll feel something that's a good Wednesday night I challenge you not to even though I know it's Cuba Gooding jr. Wearing fake teeth And so you are you are a real guy Gooding Jr. wearing fake teeth. Where my mama? Where my mama? And so, Ian, you auditioned for radio. It's a real guy, too. What was that process like? I did a party with Cuba Gooding Jr., though.

And have you seen Jerry McAvoy? I wonder if he was ever friends with the real radio, who passed away, I think, two years ago. Really? Yeah. Maybe he's, like, in a dark place cuz he misses him. I would be The guy brought the whole goddamn town together yeah, that's pretty and then they let him continue to be an 11th grader for 40 more Years, that's not a joke

He stayed in 11th grade for that is so sweet Yeah, it is really nice run out at every game and everybody in the town loved Yeah, yeah That's what I mean about the movie. It's like if you watch the movie like oh, it's nice It's like remember the time but it's also it's like it's real. It's not like there's not a real radio Made-up radio entirely if you're like, yeah It's a mentally disabled guy that everybody's mean to and then they kind of have to come together people be like what are you doing come on man and then he gets to be in the 11th grade for 40

years yeah right oh gosh the fact that it is real it's like you know you just it's nice they did that for him yeah yeah who got who like who was the person that was like living there was like we got to make this a movie this guys This is everybody. I mean, it's a great idea this bullshit. They fucking turn in the movies. Yeah, especially now Yeah, yeah, I guarantee you there was like 50 scripts called like Hillary's emails You know I mean they try to make all and she has a server and they're funny I think there's a TV show about that. There's a TV show HB on HBO. I think oh, yeah with Sidney Sweeney I believe no, but that was about the different thing. No, that was about me. Yeah the Comey show. Yeah, that's true

Yeah, the call me one. Well, it's about them. Yeah, give me radio. That's what I want stories, yeah You have any upcoming dates? Anything you want to plug? Yeah, I'm on the road. I'm in, I'm in Liberty Live in West Nyack on Labor Day weekend. Definitely one of the best comedians in New York City, guys. And I'm in New Orleans at the end of August.

It's all on my website, enlyrelive.com. Amazing. Check that out. Guys, anything else in New Orleans? No, I've been there, never for comedy. Yeah, I love New Orleans Yeah, I love it too. Do you did comedy there? I did festivals. Okay, you know, so like bar shows. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yes fest. No

No, they can I do that? They don't have a they don't have like a club proper No, there's no club like yeah, like I'm doing I think it's like a bar venue. I don't know if it's so around We went I dragged him to it, but the abandoned six flags. So it's like one of the coolest really. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but I mean at this point now, it's been abandoned since Katrina She's talking about 20 years So it might be kind of slim pickings as far as an experience goes, but we went only maybe seven years after Yeah, it looks like post-apocalyptic and it was like roller coasters. We Climbed up to the top of the roller coaster it was no way yeah all the way to the

thing yeah pretty much I went pretty fucking high up on yeah yeah what wait but it started with the stairs no I just went up the fucking yeah tracks yeah yeah it's like nature is reclaiming it yeah they're like plants growing out of like yeah, it looks really cool. Yeah, we went on that like the the Yeah, I put shit put Eric saying put Eric's sister on the boat Yeah That big boat and then I just pushed it back and forth and you can I built up enough momentum that I got that fucking Thing going is that wait? But is I mean is this are we sure it's still there cuz this was like there's not hard has to be there because here's what?

Happened is six flags To build a park that they get a lease with the city, right? So they got a lease on the land for 75 years in like the year 2002 or something and then Katrina happened came through destroyed the park insurance adjusters come by and they're like, yeah, it's gonna cost Like five times more to rebuild the park than it would to like just take the money for what your initial investment was Wow, so six flags like just basically tried to like just take the money for what your initial investment was Wow so six flags like just Basically tried to get out of the lease. It's New Orleans, which is completely fucking devastated to they're like look No, we need the rent so they're like okay. Enjoy your fucking eyesore for the next 75 years

Yes, why they have a shot? I think some movies and stuff like they've used it. I think oh, yeah That would be a good yeah I guess well no apocalyptic movie and is it like gated off or could you just it's gated off? But they don't really I mean there's a cop that'll just drive the perimeter, but it's pretty easy. You just knock in yeah Yeah, that's pretty cool. I'm I try to check that out. Yeah. Yeah, it's yeah There's a bunch of like like you could tell it's a kid trying to practice a swastika. Yeah, it's like getting it wrong Yeah, there's like a wall of just these fucking it up. And then finally in the end, you get it.

I did a bit about it, because we walked around the whole park, and when we got to the end, there was finally a properly drawn swastika. So there's a guy that has a memory of the day he learned how to draw a swastika at Six Flags. At the Six Flags. Yeah. At the abandoned Six Flags.

Another New Orleans tip, because everybody goes to Cafe Du Monde to get a beignet. It's like a tourist thing. There's always a big line, right? But Cafe Du Monde, I a beignet. It's like a tourist thing. There's always a big line, right? But Cafe Du Monde, I don't know if it would be like this time of year, but they have like all the windows open up, you know, the kind of floor to ceiling. So it's an open cafe. You can just skip the line and walk in and sit down at a table and the waiters won't notice that you weren't seated by the host. Yeah. And so you could just go in and take a table whenever you want

You don't have to wait two hours in line. That's interesting because I always thought that about any restaurant It's probably true for any restaurant, but a lot of them. They're not open Yeah, so that one you can just skip the fucking line and go in yeah, and if I was a host I wouldn't care if you sat yourself. Yeah, if I had a Good job. Yeah a host I wouldn't care if you sat yourself yeah if I had a good job yeah yeah yeah you bury yourself in the menu and they come up and they say sir we didn't see you here you go like yeah you remember from the boy oh boy I can't wear I can't with ever been yeah this is incredibly offensive yeah so you're clearly not radio

no one likes me nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Yeah, I told Ian my scheme. I do it every time I come into town. Just don't embarrass me Yeah Just I tried my radio thing out. It worked once before Alright guys. Thanks for watching today. Ian. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me man. Alright, a lot of fun guys. Bye