The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Jamie Wolf - Episode 77

Episode Date: October 25, 2024

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Jamie Wolf - Episode 77 See Adam in Denver: https://comedyworks.com/comedians/adam-friedland Follow Jaime: https://www.instagram.com/jamiewolfcomedy/?hl=en Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #jamiewolf

Dude, they're so, they're losing it over this Trump-McDonalds thing. I think that... I think he's gonna win, dude. He might see him do 25 minutes. He's missing this reaction over, cause if you're like a, if you're an undecided voter and you're saying, oh, it's a threat to democracy, all these things, which very well well may be true but then it's like he just hands somebody fries at McDonald's and they're like this is fascism you're like well I know that isn't you know what I mean I know working at McDonald's isn't fascism yeah it can't be

everything yeah right exactly he's just he the stuff when and I wanted I got McDonald's after that I was like that makes me miss McDonald's Yeah, I got a kid you got a Donald's and Donald Trump would be working Yeah, you get the the chicken big macs terrible you be I you have to try it. I tried it The mature response is that it is neither as good as the Big Mac Nor the McChicken, but it is a noble attempt at a new menu item Wait, why is that the mature response? It's not what you've had enough McDonald's if we're being honest The McDonald's menu is not what it used to be

It had kind of what it is to be like 2008 when they introduced the chicken selects and then they got I have it once welcome to the Adam Friedland show that's our new banter segment before we do our welcome to the Adam Friedland show McDonald's a fascist institution fascist and did you see this I saw this on MSNBC the other night they talked they're real fry cooks apparently Donald Trump made the fries wrong can you believe that this This man's unfit to be president. Were people tweeting about that? He made the fries

wrong, he didn't have a hair net on. I mean it's like who's this guy? Adolf Hitler? Yeah. You know who would do that? Adolf Hitler and Stalin. Both of them. Yeah. He's both Hitler and Stalin and Darth Vader. Yeah. That's who would die. And Meryl Streep, the Devil Wears Prada. Yeah. He did have the headset on, which you need for the drive-through.

So that's how you know it was staged. Oh, it was complete. That was staged. It was staged. Oh my God. Which, you know, I mean, if he's going to lie about working at McDonald's, what else would he lie about? Everything.

Yeah. It was directed by Stanley Kubrick, who did the moon landing as well. I don't know if you knew that. His McDonald's appearance. Yeah. Yeah. It's state media. You know, this is nothing you see is real.

Nothing you see is fucking real. What happens to Kamala if she loses? She gets a promotion somehow. No, it's not like she can be on CNN. You know what I mean? She gets some sort of... Why? Because she can't really communicate. Yeah, she's not good off the cuff. She's not like she's going to be a talking head on anything. She starts a foundation and then somehow makes... She should have a YouTube channel for like purses or something Or candles. Oh, that'd be cool. I get ready with me kind of yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but do you think she even knows that stuff? What do you mean? I feel like she's just like no there's got to be like she's a human being

I'm sure she has interests that they're like you can't tell people whenever she's Whenever she's expressed what those interests are it's like no like like when she was like to pack but that's not what I mean that's yeah that's fake right so what that's like focus group tested in yeah right she has to actually have some kind of like fixation what do you think it is for her I imagine yeah candles joking maybe joking what's joking I don't even know what that is. It's stretching your penis. It's like an Arab word for jacking off.

Yeah. They don't have jacking off there so that it's like a secret thing. Our guest today, Jamie Wolfe. I had a crazy weekend. I was in Tacoma doing the club there. Yikes. At my hotel. I get there crazy weekend. I was in Tacoma doing the club there. Yikes. And my hotel, I get there and it looked like they were setting up for like prom. It was like a dance or something. I couldn't tell if it was a wedding or a dance, but there was like, the people were dressed wrong.

Like the, it was mostly women. Mostly heavy set women. And they were like wearing like, the clothes were like too fancy, you know, for it to be like a wedding or something. And I'm like, what is this? And I figured out it's a convention, and it's a convention for female, like self-published fantasy smut.

And so it was like the Dragon Queens, like harem. You know, it's like all these like self-published books and all the authors are there Yeah, and they're all named like Devin or Dakota. They all have like obese pen names And there's people getting like book signed and stuff I don't want to be like too mean about it, but it was bizarre and then that had overlap with like the Filipino Seattle communities. Like they had their like 89th gala at the hotel. So then it was like seeing groups, seeing these two groups intersect.

Did they intersect at all? Was it a melting pot or did they? In the market. So you'd see everybody having coffee and it would be like, it would be like, like a lesbian couple wearing fucking literally Jack Skellington onesies having coffee next to like a 55 year old Filipino thing but it was very funny because like who they got so for the Filipino community for their evenings entertainment is they had two principal dancers from the Pacific Northwest Ballet doing Swan Lake and then they had like and then but then the the obese writer community they had

like an enchanted forest ball with it featuring cosplay you know so imagine walking into the wrong room you know it i the Filipinos out of all people on earth like to have the most fun they are the they are the why we say they got upstaged by the... Really? Yeah, because I was like looking into what these books are, you know, and it is a lot of... Because it's like, I would imagine this is all an outgrowth of the success of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Right. But yeah, all of the books are, you know, yeah, it's like self-published stuff, but then the plot lines are always like, oh, they have, it's like self-published stuff, but then the plot lines are always like, oh, it's called the omega sphere. And so women write about it where there's alphas and betas and then omegas and omegas are like the sex slaves, basically, but in their world- It's like men who are enslaved to fuck that.

No, it's the women are enslaved and they have to find a pack of alphas. But then there's all of these things that are givens within the genre, such as like nodding and scent matching. So like people, like the alphas have like packs. So then they'll describe it and be like, oh, it's like, you know, it's like two more years until I get my trust fund. Luckily I found a pack of alphas and they nodded me,

which means they have, so in the omega sphere, the man's penis has a knot like a dog's penis so it gets stuck in the woman's vagina or ass and what yeah and these are things that are just like given so you'll be reading the name of this event did it have a name this convention yes it was it was called booksowns and Crowns. And this one was chapter three. I did some light Googling. I guess there was controversy this year because of some transphobia.

In the omega sphere? In the omega sphere. How could you be transphobic if you have a knot on your penis? I don't know. I have no idea. Yeah, it's like they're dogs. But it wasn't like a furry thing it was just how I Don't want to in my imagination

This is one of the fattest lady events I can imagine Surprisingly a lot of them were like I would say like not unattractive, but then they had their husbands there with them That was my god. I did a lot of eavesdropping over there Like are their husbands like alphas? I think their husbands are guys who just kind of nailed it I imagine that these women like just do everything and then they're like, yeah my wife She like self publishes books and I kind of really don't do I don't really do much anything I just come to these conventions and You know kind of show up. Yeah, right. Yeah, give her the books to be signed right? Yeah But that's crazy that they're transphobic. That's what gets me I

In that community I Can't imagine one of those things would exist without some kind of controversy, you know what I mean? I imagine Of all of it they're all dramatists, you know? I mean, so they're addicted to stories and narrative. Right, and so there has to be some kind of conflict. It's just funny to be like a right-wing political commentator who also makes those, but like men, women have vaginas and men have knotted penises that they put in your asshole. I wouldn't say it's right. I'm sure it was something, it was probably something simple, like they didn't have enough bathrooms at the last event and then you know somebody didn't apologize the right way

No, I think it's probably like because no you see that you seen that DSA video where that that Transperson gets mad because somebody said guys we got a big year coming up Guys Did we not use gendered language? Please stop saying guys. And then just that poor woman hosting had to be like, OK. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, definitely.

No, I imagine in that generation of feminists, that's where you find the TERFs. Because they're like like we're writing these books and it's very like liberating for women talking about our like sexual proclivities and bondage and stuff and But yeah, yeah that generation of feminists is typically like the JK Rowling's of the world, right? It's typically where you find the like ones that are like well, you don't have periods. You weren't with us burning our bras and getting raw dogged at Woodstock. Where were you? When I was, when my vagina was just being penetrated, when my incredibly hairy bush was being penetrated and then I did nothing for the rest of my life but I pretended that that makes me a former feminist revolutionary. Yeah true.

Yeah. It's so, it's just weird to me to be that, you know, that into like sexual fantasy and that open-minded except when it comes to one's the weirdest part for me Is that like this is would all fall? Ostensibly under the nerd umbrella You know like I mean the male equivalent would be like a like a Star Trek convention or something You know or something for like roblox perhaps, but They're still writing the books which requires requires a certain degree of effort and discipline.

So they're still very productive, which is counter to, I guess, what the male version would be, where it's like, these guys aren't even taking a shower. You know what I mean? They do nothing. They just consume. That's the thing that's annoying about the guy versions of those. Like people that show up and they have expertise in consumption. They don't make anything. They don do they just have they don't even make the costumes not the Star Trek guys

They fucking buy those if they're at the point where they have to make their own costumes. They should be getting gastric bypass surgery Which they can't even do that they can't even go on their own diets Yeah, so it's like you see them and it's like, you know, you want to imagine them as being lazy But then it's like well, they're this woman's written 17 books. Yeah, you know And that's that's crazy to me. Yeah, there has to be so much caddy in fighting though like ladies that have read other ladies books and then say that they're not as disgustingly horny if your mom is going to that also I mean I feel bad for the kids yeah people yeah my aunt wrote sort of a book like this mm-hmm she's she

wrote kind of a sci-fi version of this it was sort of smart the main character in the book was 14 years old this is all true so 14 year old main character she was married she's now divorced the main character was 14 years old and she marries like a 43 year old guy in the book and They they look in the Koran. Yeah, it's sort Is the most I'm just kidding. It's I don't know if that's even in there We don't need the shit on the Quran on the show for no reason. I'm sure every religious book has the same story Why are you backtracking like you're gonna get canceled? Well, no, I just feel bad for the Quran right now

Right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, come on. Come on. You can cut you can cut Muslim some slack right now At least at least till this thing wraps up and then we can go back there It's a great book. Can you imagine how much of an asshole you'd have to be right now to be like? Well, I'm drawing Mohammed Just sending sending sending cartoons of Mohammed the Palestinians they're like that wasn't even us. Yeah That wasn't us. It was mad about that. There was people in Denmark. Also. This is a cartoon of Sonic. Mm-hmm Yeah, this is a whole Sonic with a huge cock Suddenly you just wrote the word Muhammad over his head

It has nothing to do with our religion Yeah, I never understood that that like you can't draw you can't Like portray the Prophet Muhammad. That's like any people but then you're allowed to name your like shitty Fuck-up son after him like it's the most popular name. Yes, Muhammad. Yeah, which is like that seems like it's that's more of There were there probably more guys named Muhammad that didn't do anything with their lives now Yeah, you know what I mean, but you can't draw them. You can't draw the actual guy even like being good at stuff Like you couldn't run it. You couldn't draw them like fucking like a sing the SAT scoring a free kick Yeah, exactly. You're not allowed to do that. But like your son with Down syndrome. You're like, oh, yeah

This is my hunt. This is Muhammad like the prophet Muhammad dunking on LeBron. Yeah, right Okay Guys she Cal she last last week. We told you about Cal She and we're telling you about it again you about it again guys. This is the only 100% completely legal online gambling where you can bet on things okay but bet on anything I guess I'm excited to show you an app called call she it's the first legal exchange where

you could trade or bet on anything any event what do you want to bet on what would I bet on that's not sports just anything I get the election would be fun to bet on you could that's what I bet because look so apparently all the like like Trump's up and all of the the betting you know all the betting stuff right and call she's one of them where he's up yeah and I don't really know how betting works maybe I can figure it out but like that's just that's not that's disconnected from the polls I guess. You know. So betting on Kamala seems like a good idea right now. Yeah. When she's down in the betting in the betting right. That's a smart money. But I don't know how it works. So it's

like if they have Trump at 60 percent chance of winning you bet one hundred bucks and then you win what. Yeah right. How does that work. When you take a look at your little paper Does it say there you can go to the website and find out what the odds well luckily Adam has it down She's got call She just got approval to list markets to trade on the outcome of the election Like you just said may get the first legal place to trade on the election in a hundred years a hundred years Wait, wait, wait, what really? Yeah. I guess they used to have this crap.

It was illegal to trade on the election before this? Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. Guys, Kalshi has... That's right. If you go to their website, the first thing that comes up is the election. Okay. So they got Trump at 58 and Kamala at 42. But now you guys all have to go and bet on Donald Trump to drive the odds up and then right before Election night. I'm gonna place a bet on Kamala at 0% Yeah and make Untold millions. Yeah, I'm betting every dollar I have you think she's gonna win No, but I'll bet on it Yeah, why not yeah, why not cuz I mean the polls say it's a 50-50 chance. Yeah, why not? Yeah, why not? Because I mean the polls say it's a 50-50 chance.

So if that's the actual odds, then why not? I've been wrong. Much like when Hillary was up big in the polls right before the election. Yeah, but Romney was up close in 2012. Yeah, well I think that's what they're doing. They're psyching out like the the people to drive turnout Yeah, and then 2022 is wrong, but that's midterms. Does that even count? Does anyone even vote? Well, we're like 50 in the midterms. Yeah, I think it's like 50%

Nobody yeah, nobody votes in those so that one doesn't really count. Anyways, you guys got to drive up these odds So that yeah, all right call she Markets on who will win the presidential election, who will control the House and Senate, and who will win the swing states and more. Right now Trump and Kamala are trading at about 50-50. Not true. Nick actually checked the live odds. It's a, what is it,? 58 42. Meaning it's the first bet place that you can bet on either. You will double your money if they end up winning. Isn't that incredible? So if it's 50 50 you double.

OK. What if it's 50 42 and you bet on Trump. 58 that you get a little bit less than your original investment I imagine imagine I would assume. Kalshi has already facilitated over 1 billion in trades. The elections markets will be where you can sign up using my link at kalshi.com slash TAFS and the first 500 traders who deposit $50 will get a free $20 credit. That's fucking, that's a great deal, guys.

So once again, sign up using my link, callshe.com slash tafs and run guys and become one of the first 500 traders. And if you deposit $50, you get $20. Oh, this is cool. They have open access to their API right on the main page so you can write your own Apple vision Pro app so when you walk around you can bet on which you can be like I think that guy's gay Yeah, and you're just looking at him. Yeah, and place a bet with your mind. Yeah, I Bet this kid isn't selling money for selling candy for his basketball team, you know racist

well, you could I Racist It's like I want to see you. What's your record this year, sir? That's racist. No, it's not He's selling he says it's for his basketball team And so what if it isn't if it's not then I still buy the candy because you know, I love candy But just say I'm selling candy candies delicious. They still do the thing where they're like look I don't want to rob you but I'm selling candy No, they will say that yeah, they used to do that. They'd be like I'm out here so I don't have to rob people

I don't know but I'm so yeah, because it used to be that and then it was also the basketball team, but Well, they don't say Rob they say I'm doing this out on the street street hustling hustling and my bad boy stabbing Yeah, they said that yeah What it would announce it to the train? Yeah, and they can't anymore because of I guess the trial of that The guy that killed Michael Jackson is starting this week Yes, you bet on that The the like Aryan guy the MMA choke guy. Yeah Yeah, that was like one year ago. There's jury selection. Actually, I got a summons

What if I just am on that jury? That'd be pretty funny And you're like giggling and no one thinks you're funny and I wouldn't be get I'd be stoic. Yeah, I Would be stoic and I was to 12 angry men But one of them's a giggling idiot that didn't pay attention to the trial at all So yes They get into like this the sexed messaging aspect of Like what was that lady? That lady that killed her kid that they were like reading all her sex and stuff

This is a kind of a saying in there he'd be in the yeah, I'd be in the jury room Sex Putting emphasis on it in a way that he thinks is funny And people are like, what are you doing? This is a murder trial I'll be like, oh, I can't they're gonna get to the sex Yeah, you should respond to that summons for sure well what you have to right or They're like, oh say that come get you get you No, they won't. They won't. Yeah the sheriff will and then what I fucking drag you off

New York has a sheriff like it's the Ukrainian army. Yeah To go do it like a civil trial. They're gonna send me to Israel Now it's like it was great doing it back when I didn't have a job because you'd be like oh yeah I need the money cuz I mean I got to take off work for this yeah true and then I didn't even do anything to not get selected they just didn't want me for any one of it it was like a whole day where they send you in and they're like well definitely not that guy I think I heard if you just say you're a comedian they will not select you oh really yeah they go we definitely don't want a comedian on this jury Oh really Adam Fried they don't want like Adam Friedland on the jury for uh-huh. Yeah obvious

I'd be like this is gonna give me great bits for my pad I was I was in one of the you it up for that I was in one of the rooms and they were going through and like asking everybody and they got the one older lady and They asked her what she did She said she was a federal judge and then the lawyers were like oh And they asked her what she did she said she was a federal judge, and then the lawyers were like oh They like got all like like deferential and respectful to the judge. Yeah, cuz I guess in their world. That's like yeah That's like they're Bill Cosby basically is that lady Imagine if you were like just hanging out of the stand and you asked some older white lady her name

And you're not thinking twice about it. She's like my name name is Bill Cosby You're like, oh my god. Oh, wow. This is bill Cosby. This is bill Cosby. Oh My god, you're a legend and she's wearing the robe and stuff Yeah, I I could tell them. Yeah, I could tell them that I I Consider myself an attorney you could also bet on it at call She you could bet on it call she She guys do we has our promo code You want to tell I just said them you want to tell about how you signed up for it? And you can sign up the first five hundred sign. Oh, yeah, you do I signed up Using my code ta fs at call she comm slash ta fs and tell them about some of the bets you placed and how you did

I bet I bet big on the election. That hasn't happened yet. So why don't you tell them about one of the bets you placed where. Well, let's go. What else is on this website? Why don't you look through your account? Remember when we got the text and they said,

Adam, download, remember how they said, you gotta download the app, Adam? I'm looking, callshe.com calm did you bet on Biden dropping out no I lost big on that one I bet on did Jimmy Carter die or do they are they were just acting like he's dead did he die I think so I think he voted for Kamala and then they started talking about him like he did that and then he died. They're like he lived long enough to do the one thing we needed him for. I think he's dead. Yeah, I think he's dead. Is he dead? Is that not true? Let me look it up. His bitch died. Oh, his wife died. Sorry, wife.

Yeah, he's not dead. It's all politics. They're acting like he's dead. He's a hundred years old, but he's a hundred He's a hundred years should be a there should be a maximum cap on voting. Yeah, there should be a term limit for life I don't think I don't think you should live to a hundred. Yeah. Oh, so I bet on unemployment in November That's disgusting dude like that French lady. It lived like 120. Yeah, that's like what a turtle does You know what I mean? Okay. Here's a good one The rotten tomatoes score of wicked will it be above 45 or above 60? Didn't that come out like 14 years ago? No, there's a movie No, there was already a movie. Wait, wait.

There's only two options. It's only above 45 or 60. Yeah. How could that be? It doesn't make any sense. What about below that? You can't bet on it because everyone knows that it's going to be 100%. There's no way it gets beneath 45% on rotten to specify critic or audience reviews

It just says rotten tomatoes also what's The cut off on that because it's it's always variable that's okay will Trump go on it's always changing Well, Trump to make will go on Rogan if you vote, yeah, it's 92%. If you vote yes, if you've that's already scheduled, it's happening. Okay. So I'm going to bet no. If I put a high, maybe I'll get sick. If you do a hundred dollars on no, you get a thousand dollars and 38, a thousand, $38. Oh, okay dollars okay hey you should bet on that okay here's one Nick will okay here's a the Metacritic score of Metacritic yeah of Call of Duty black ops 6 okay yeah will it be 75 or greater 80 years right

this is like this is the male version Greater gowns frowns and fucking rolls Like betting on shit like this Metacritic score of blackout. Yeah, this is what the guy does It's like they bet on stuff like this. Honestly, this is pretty awesome. I think this website's awesome This is a great actually ad for them because I want to I want to be the right I want to be right on everything. I Want to be like I told you so Tesla production this quarter. Will it be above? 469,000 or above

440,000 but what is it? What if it's this all seems like it's like very much in like in in danger of like some sort of insider trading element. You know what I mean? Like you can't just open these kinds of questions up. Yeah, you lawn just like throws up especially the review websites where they it's like an aggregate of maybe like four or five different outlets. If you work for one of those places, you can probably control that outcome. different outlets. If you work for one of those places, you can probably control that outcome. Right? Yeah. If you're a movie reviewer, you just give a worse review to Wicked and then you make a lot more. Well, what I would do is I'd, for

tonight, get a apply for a job at San Francisco Chronicle, right? I'd be like, I'm one of the greatest movie reviewers all time. Bam, they hire me out of the gate. I tell them I'm trans and Muslim. Suddenly they have no choice. And then I look at the reviews, whatever the cutoff is for this, and let's say Wicked's sitting at 67%, I would see there's 10 reviews so far. I calculate that I need to give it a 13% review to drop it right below 45. And I'd say, this movie gets 13 out of a hundred stars for me

And then I forwarded the rotten tomatoes guess who just made a million dollars And then they go and they go into the bathroom at the San Francisco Chronicle the trans bathroom and they're like where's where's his son and there's no sight of me and then I'm walking away like Kaiser soza Anymore right I'm going up to you. Yeah. Where's Hassan? That's the part of my movie, The Gay Suspects.

This is so cool. Yeah. Will there be a hurricane that hits New York this year? See, all right, see, that's all it takes. If you're a sponsor and you sponsor this show,

you probably are looking at the performance. You remember the reeds of Yor where we would get into it, and then Adam's at the performance. You remember the, the reads of your, where we would get into it and then Adam's taken the helm and he just, I mean, and we've had feedback where they say you got, you can't let Adam do the reads. The from the companies that advertise so we're like, you can't let him. My mind is so weak. They, I've, we had that as a complaint one time from the sponsor. They're like, we've seen a tremendous drop off. They were like, they were, there were to do like make good. No,

no, no, that's not Adam. They say we're so at or so. I am. No, they were bullshit fans trying to suck up to Nick. No, it wasn't. It was a guy. No, it was a bullshit. No, it was like a bullshit like a fake weed company or something, and they were like Adam is a book. Do let's have Nick what about Nick well they stopped doing business with us well because their product should be selling but dank ass chronic back and not fake back to my point all you have to do is actually actually don't have to using any of this stuff and he loves it he thinks he's above everything but you look you see he's never looked at the website until now and he does and he's like this

is cool he's gonna go home and play some bets. I'm gonna send this to my professional betting friends guys who have made tens of millions of dollars in this and then I'll have them run their Russian university algorithms. They have their rare Russian university mathematic algorithms that they run on sports. I love those Russian disinformation campaigns. It's not just, it's real information. That one last week with the guy, the guy black insurrectionist who was saying

that Tim Walls sucked the boys penis at a Go Girls concert. Oh yeah. That's so funny. Yeah yeah and it's just like four guys in Russia that are like listen instead of going to the front why don't we do this and then Putin's like yeah all right yeah no that's pretty funny can they do that with Obama they said Obama was gay for a while yeah but I think I don't know if that was Russians I think that was just like that was like

homegrown good old fashioned American guy guy. Yeah, right. Yeah Right. Yeah, exactly. But now now the the the Russians are You know, they're saying it's Russians now. They're saying it's Iran to they're saying Iran's doing that. Do you think that's that's real? I think there's definitely obviously like they have people trying to manipulate social media, but every like they have people trying to manipulate social media, but every like they're trying to manipulate the platform that was created to manipulate us. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't understand why, you know,

just let it do its thing. You don't need to pile on. So yeah, it's like, I mean, we've, it's, it's such a trite point, but I mean, we've, we have no respect for democracy internationally. Right. Yeah. Yeah. But do we do that to Russia? Because didn't we fund Navalny? Oh yeah, no. We do the exact same thing. Since the fall

of the Soviet Union. I mean, we kind of put Putin in place to begin with. Right. But we also do the opposite, which is we actually, it's always actually successful when we do it. When we run these campaigns, like I'm thinking what Venezuela uh-huh like the places where we do this who is the guy they just tried to do it with what's you know in South America this is gay Gato who's the guy they had like some... In Venezuela? Yeah that other guy. Yeah right that didn't work did it? They're still trying to get that guy. Gato? I don't think we can do it really anymore. I think our ability to manipulate things is diminishing. Yeah, here are all the bets related to Taylor Swift But we're still doing that. Sorry. I'm I just can't stop looking. Mm-hmm

Will Taylor Swift die tomorrow from a gunshot wound to the head? bet now And then what you do is you get a job to San Francisco Chronicle, right and then you buy it and then you buy a gun And then they're like, why did you get a a job I'm like I had this other thing going with medical cover my cover right there would be never never be a guy in the San Francisco Chronicle kill that not real we wouldn't act okay have you been have you ever been to the Pacific Northwest and it's been nice out like I know the stereotype is that it's shitty and rainy and every time I've been there it's shitty and rainy and depressing. And then, but then people there are always like, oh you just missed it. I'm like, missed what?

That's the reputation of this place and every time I'm here it looks like this. Yeah. It's not a nice place to be homeless but somehow there's more and more each time you go there. And apparently we're going to have La Niña this year. What is that? It's a member El Niño. This is the girl version. Oh, my God. What does that mean?

I think it's the opposite. It's a less rain. Less rain. Yeah. OK. Oh, nice. It's dry. It'll be a dry, mild winter, which I don't know why there's a name for that. You could just say dry. Yeah, right. Exactly. Well, it's a it's Latin X style. Mm-hmm. Yeah I don't know. I really want to keep looking at these bets. Okay, we don't have to why is it called El Nino? No, did like Marquez name those It's like a stupid name. Random Spanish names. Right.

It's the weather's so magical at this time. In Platano. Well, you could bet on the climate, actually. The number of tornadoes next month, above 10, above 20. What are we saying, above 10? Actually, above 20? I don't understand the way this betting is. Why are there two bets that are in the same direction?

It's either above 10 or above 20 you have to bet above ten. You're saying is it above twenty you say Yes, but because I think all of their bets are like binary They're all one or the other but if you bet above ten you're also including above twenty. Oh, yeah, but the odds Well, then I guess you would have to be in that window, right? It would have to be between between ten and 20. There's probably never less than 10 tornadoes. Yeah, I would imagine. You could bet on the high temperature in NYC today. Okay. The high today is

75. Okay, so we have a little insider info there. 75 to 76. Okay, so I'm gonna say yes. Wait, am I making is this websites now it's it's not working honestly did you log in ten thousand dollars on that it's gonna be 75 to 76 degrees which according to my phone because we already reached the high yeah you've gotten so consumed by this in such a short period of time I just it's the potential to start over again you know I just put I bet the house on on that it's gonna be 75 degrees today yeah I bet all of my money I'm walking away with maybe thirty30,000 okay then I can go to Turkey get the rhinoplasty finally get the new teeth get the facelift big pair

of Turkish chompers get the get the hair plugs to like right above my eyebrows. Just be the hottest guy ever. You know, move to Thailand. What? Well it's cheap there. Okay. What do you mean what? Why Thailand? Because it's affordable. It's cheap and okay. No, don't, no it's not a sexual thing. It's just cheap. What? Is it a sexual thing? Been on call shows? Yes. It's not sex. Is it for children or for grown women? Is Adam Friedland moving to Thailand for children? Or for men that have transitioned? Yeah. Well, yeah. Is it for lady boys? Or for four year olds? Which one is Adam going to Thailand for? No, it's just

to be the biggest podcaster in Thailand. I feel like it's a untapped market there. Here it's saturated. You know, it'd be a great show like an hour long comedy is Adam like his career is not really going well. So he moves to Europe thinking that he's going to be like a great comedian over there. Yeah, and he just becomes like a total laughing stock. you know over there yeah, and he just becomes like a total laughing stock. You know, we work yeah that what does it work in there, but he's such an idiot that they're like get a load of this fucking moron dude yeah and he becomes

in their language. I don't know yeah right. He thinks he's like fucking he thinks he's like he thinks he's like in his cultural icon right yeah exactly yeah yeah turns out they're just laughing and they're laughing at him. Yeah in French Yeah, yeah, like loon like loon I watch that La petty clune. Yeah, the little clown it would be as good as the bear I would imagine You don't like the bear. I haven't seen any of it, but just the way it's packaged I can't

Like I don't I don't care about restaurants man. There's no way it's that important about restaurants There's no way is there a single scene in that show where they get to the end They bring the food out and some guy like takes two bites. He's like so anyways next week We have the meeting with fucking you know And then they just throw the food out and then they go to a real job where they do something the problem with the bears I used to live with like service people yeah and after their shifts like my three roommates were all in restaurants they would just bitch about and then we were pushing and then we were like in the middle of a push and

they're like in my fucking manager you know they get so intense about it I'm like I just have no reference point for it. And I was like, I don't care. I was at the creek in the cave tonight. I did a mic with for four people. So, you know, congrats on your fucking restaurant, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I'm about to quit. I got molested. Come on.

Why people probably like the show it's like that's probably Indic like, you know, that's a good representation of what it's like to be in a restaurant But I could not care less about being a chef at a restaurant. Yeah, you know what I mean? I yeah, I don't and it's presented with this like this gravitas befitting of like an emergency room You know what I mean? Yeah, like oh, he's got a railroad spike through his brain and we need to do so, you know Yeah, like carrots are over steamed It's completely inconsequential. Yeah, there's there's a pub in my food, right? Yeah, and then they have to find out who in the kitchen has a pub.

And then they're trying to win stars or something. I can't tell you whether I've been to a restaurant that's won awards. I wouldn't know. That wouldn't factor into my decision making, whether to go to a place or not. It's like, I just need to go to dinner. This is the type of food I want. Let's try this was a good sure but for them

It's the main goal. It's the only thing that matters. That's all it's about getting getting a James Beard award Which who the fuck was that? See a good chef What did he make I think he was a famous chef. I believe right which isn't even more bullshit thing Yeah, you know that the guy I have well from the New York Times I'm famous for having dinner What the fuck is this whole culture I don't get it the Because like Bourdain was like a great writer

Yeah, right and that but that's what he was good at is writing Yeah, and having a TV show and like a travelogue right and most of the time it wasn't even about the food it was about that he'd be in a place right exactly yeah and then some people are like oh this is what being a chef is and it's like you should see the way this guy eats and writes about it right if he was nonverbal if like Anthony Bourdain like was like I like that made the food you know and he was his best chef in world. None of this would have happened Yeah, you know what I mean? Absolutely. Yeah

The New York Times critic the main guy just had to quit because he's like I'm getting I'm I'm getting fat as shit He's like I can't I'm gonna kill myself. Is this made up or that's a real else Pete Wells He just like he got too fat and then had he was like I well he has to eat in a restaurant like three times a day and he's like I just can't my body can't take up my body can't take it like yeah like an NFL running back well I mean kind of sometimes you want to salad yeah yes CTE from Cranberry laye brain damage. I'm not saying listen. He's not a fucking he's not go to the VA hospital. He's not a hero. Yeah, but it does make sense that

this guy like he's like yeah, I'm getting too fat. I can't I can't I know I like I I like doing this as a job, but I can it's not good for it's killing me Does that make sense to you because that does not make any sense to me if you have three Three times a day it made sense for that that the Adam Richman guy who's that he was on that show man versus food Oh, yeah, you're right. Right. I wish I could remember who it was I feel like it was my roommate in Austin Somebody told me a story about like they had a friend that met him and they were like he's actually like way fat in real life, and it's like well. He looks fat on the show The show he's like I'm having fucking 15 milkshakes to prove Columbus wrong you know

No, I mean that was what the show was ready would go to a place and they're like you can't eat this cheeseburger He's like watch me And then he would do it and then they put his picture on the wall and and then he would go to another town and do the same thing and we're supposed to be surprised yeah right yeah exactly yeah that's how it was presented when did he gain weight like somebody was like pulling the curtain back it's actually unhealthy to eat a truckload of food every day well No one's crying for him. I guess no

But yeah, it was very funny that my my girlfriend was like a Pete Wells quit and I was like who is that? She's like it's the New York Times food critic. He's the number one guy But like his body can't take it anymore How's there a number one guy for food like am I wrong or is like it's just food food you like it or you don't why is there a guy telling you that's what I mean This is why I can't get on board with with the bad I've never I've never watched more than a trailer for the show, but because of that culture I'm like I just I can't I hate that the idea that he's like No, no, no you like this restaurant. I I remember he wrote a

review of Guy Fieri's Time Square restaurant. That was very mean and it kind of went viral. That's very you, you said? Mean. Oh, mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was so me. But this, to your point, they're just writers. He wrote a review and it was so me.

I was like, why? No, he was like, I think he had something called like donkey sauce or something and he was like shitting on it. But like, I don't know. It seemed, it seemed pretty mean, you know, but you're also ruining people's businesses too. Like, yeah, true. You know, if you're being a bitch about their food. Yeah, it's, it's one of those jobs. You can only really have a negative impact. I doubt that someone goes because of a good review, but definitely people don't go because of bad review Also, if there's a good place that you know about and then someone blows it up Then like then you can't even you can't yeah, then the line is gonna be too long and I hate lines

Yeah, remember that happened to the coop in DC because Obama went there. Yeah, he ruined the restaurant that place used to be great He had a show that was like down the street and you go this diner used to go there Yeah, it was like 24 hours. It was great. You go there like 2 a.m. And then Obama went one time and they had to like change the hours. I don't think it was like 24 hours after that Yeah, yeah, and there was always mobbed Really cuz Obama went once cuz he went one time. Yeah. Yeah Well, we're wherever he eats. I'll go for sure wherever Obama eats. Yeah. Yeah absolutely

Absolutely. Why why is that? No, I don't know I got in a fight with my girlfriend recently cuz I said I don't care about restaurants and she was really upset She well, yeah, because girls like restaurants. Well, she sounds specific is getting upset that Pete Wells quit is like a really niche specific thing. A lot of girls are like that. I wouldn't make it a real thing to a lot of girls. Women versus men thing.

Well, yeah. I mean, I would have Chipotle every meal. What are you talking about? It's the best bang for your buck. And they just got brisket on the menu. Trump working at McDonald's is the first time in my life ever that I've been excited about a restaurant. Straight up. And that's the only time I've ever come close to... If that was the bear, if there was an episode where they're like Trump's gonna come in, he's gonna cook, I would watch that episode of the bear. 100%.

Trump's gonna cook. And I'm like, well, he's saving the country. The cameos. Like, making props. Can we bet on that? Let's bet on Trump making a cameo in The Bear. Okay, let's try. No.

They're still not loading. I wanna go to that McDonald's so bad, dude. I wanna be at the drive-thru, I wanna be like, thank you for the hamburger, Mr. President. And he hands it to me. Well, remember, when he was present. I want that, dude. I want, I. I want I can't I don't know like I I can't explain what it was but those pictures I saw him and I'm like this speaks to me.

You want to be there. Yeah right I want to be there I wanted I want him handing me the bag. Yeah it's like fake but I don't care. Uh-huh. It's your Woodstock you saw it you're like I wish I could have been. Paying five dollars for things that were on the dollar menu six years ago Tipping tipping. Yeah, right tipping. Wait, Cornell West is running for president. Yeah, he always runs for president Yeah, it's like every time. All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna say he will win I'm gonna put one who's like voting for him like Wu Tang fans yeah the fuck is like yeah oh yeah this is I get a good Cornell West if I put a thousand dollars on Cornell

West I will I will win 99 I'll win a hundred thousand dollars that's not enough he's not gonna win yeah right I should get a billion dollars. Yeah, that's true. For losing a thousand dollars. You should get a cabinet position. If you bet on Cornell West, you should be the Secretary of State. Yeah, the payout is defense secretary. I should be defense secretary for Cornell West. Yeah. Coynell. Can you bet on you because- Coynell, our relationship with Israel is a strategic advantage in the region. Did you see now they're fucking like all these people online are like blaming, there's just some woman who's Iranian that works at the Department of State and they're like, oh, this is who leaked the intelligence report about like Israel's like troop movements or

whatever. And I don't think there's any evidence of that they just Just cuz yeah, just cuz she's from Iran. What's you could also do like like contracts like like What is it like short selling or like? So if I put a hundred thousand dollars on Cornell West I'll get four point five million dollars

That makes sense, but what does that mean if I'm selling do you understand what that means Nick you're you're a wall street guy I'm not like I never really lost a lot of money. I never understood derivatives. I don't really know that sure it was trading but Let's say let's slap a hundred K on that we get that four point five milli But then I have to sell the contracts for two cents I don't understand this amazing website Yeah, get access. I'm signing up continue. No don't do don't if they have Apple pay continue no Nick don't email, don't. If they have Apple Pay... Continue... No. Nick, don't. ...share the email... Nick, don't...

Don't! Don't put my face in! Nice, it worked. No, it didn't. This is crazy. Oh, and you have Apple Pay also. Don't Apple Pay it! No, Nick, stop!

I'm doing it just for the bit no dad I don't have that kind of money to throw around okay you can call your bank and dispute it but he's we are now confirmed a hundred thousand dollars in contact my phone give me my phone nice amazing yeah that worked no it didn't all right guys you got a gotta we gotta get out the vote Core now West I need Cornel West 1% chance What does it mean, huh, no stop give me my phone dude, you're about to be about to have four and a half million dollars Really? Yeah

How could he win win what are his positions what I have body over one side reverse cowgirl stroke mish I've never heard of that I don't smell it all over here but over here it's sweating on the left you actually bet a hundred okay yeah I'll be in Denver this weekend the 25th and 26th. I owe a lot of money now around town. No, you'll be fine. Just call your bank and dispute it. I have to call them. It's on video that I illegally placed a bet with your phone. So you could go to jail. I wouldn't go to jail unless you press charges, which I don't see why you would.

I'm going to press charges. Considering the dirt I have on this guy, dude. What dirt do you have on me? Two tickets to Thailand, a journal entry that says, I can't wait to fuck those children. No. Incursive with little hearts over the eyes. That evidence? They're like, well this is definitely his handwriting.

It's in pink jelly pen. Adam's got his jelly sandals and his jelly pens and he's ready for Thailand. All right, let's talk about Mint Mobile. I love a great deal as much as the next guy, but I'm not going to crawl through a bed of hot coals just to save a few bucks. It has to be easy. No hoops, no BS. So when Mint Mobile said it was easy to get wireless for $15 a month with the purchase of a three-month plan, I called them on it.

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Of course I'm checking the texting feature with my assistant, my multiple female assistant. Okay so guys I have to read this disclaimer. $45 upfront payment required, which is the equivalent of $15 a month. $45 is nothing now with inflation. That's nothing. That's like a pocket gum. Remember the old Dennis Miller 1010220 commercials? Yeah, I remember. They say a buck can't buy anything anymore. Well, I'll tell you what about a one-way trip to Zimbabwe to meet fucking Robert Mugabe right Robert Mugabe right before got be in 1967 it's like his chat Chi. Are you done yet? It's like Hannibal crossing. No, yeah I needs 10 10 to 20. He never shuts up. Yeah, it's true

New customers on their first three-month plan only speed slower above 40 Gigabytes in the unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions may apply See mint mobile for details. Thank you, man. The best part about men mobile is you get to bring your own phone Yeah, that's what I hate I go Ukrainian phones. Yeah Really? Yeah, I have a I don't I have a you phone. I have an Erpol you phone. It's made in Ukraine Yeah, it's not it looks like an iPhone, but it's different. I Got it in Hasidic Williamsburg. Really? It's called phone for you

Yeah, and so it's not an iPhone. It's a phone for you And every text the first text is free, but everyone after that $25 maybe $50 maybe $100 yeah the best deal you've ever got the first text you pay nothing for you though after that is a lot of money free unlimited unlimited up to one yeah now how many buttons do you want on the phone? Start off with the number one is free, but two, maybe twenty dollars. If you want all the way to zero and the special symbols, I mean, now you're talking. Eight million dollars, minimum.

No, my friend, let's make a deal, please. My friend! Let's make a deal, please. My friend! How about this, do you have any change? No, I'm not homeless. Can I have your car keys, please. My friend. How about this? Do you have any change? No, I'm not homeless. Can I have your car keys, please? Maybe I can melt down your keys and turn it into jewelry.

Those guys are truly the worst. I went to synagogue for the first time in 20 years. I love that they have them in Israel and even in Israel they're still like annoying. You know what I mean? They leave off the government. They don't work. Like even in the Jewish state they still have Jews. You know what I mean? They're like what the fuck is you know, they're the Jews I know basically Like they won't go to the army. They protest and it's like they're not protesting the war. They're not like it's immoral They're like we just don't want to do anything And so they'll just like sit down in traffic and just like drag them out of their cars. They're acting like dead fish Yeah, those guys that they that they have like as like anti-israel like Hassan's like

I don't mean the ones going to protest here. I mean look into those guys though. It's like they're mad that like Women can drive and yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're not like People are like these guys are like Like pro-palestine stuff. They're like no they want like They think that the Messiah has to come back and before they can go yeah Yeah, and kill all the Palestinians and kill every you know yeah, they're not Operating in good faith, but those guys are I'll tell you I like a lazy guy. I like somebody that's lazy I like a lazy especially. I like somebody that's lazy. I like a lady and especially if they're causing problems

Yeah hundred percent But if they if they are like taking up Traffic and they win too. They just won whatever there was that dispute over making them enlist and then they had to walk that back They don't have to inlist. They don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I think based on what grounds? Because I guess like the way their government works is like Netanyahu needs the support of those religious people. So he had the ways maintain power is by like basically appeasing them because they all have 12 kids.

So they're like a massive voting bloc.? That makes sense. So that's how I mean They're the only ones that should get to stay. I think I think so too. Yeah, anyone last year They're not going yeah, right. They should all have to leave to get out. Yeah, if you're there to be a DJ I don't know Burning man. Yeah, go If you're like if you're like annoying and taking up like you can't drive well Yeah, and you're like stopping traffic in South Williamsburg. Mm-hmm. You should be able to stay. Yeah If you like are just fucking so annoying right and all you do is sell prepaid mobile phones and luggage

There should be a whole country of that Especially there. They should give them the country of that, especially there. You should give them the nicest beaches and you just can't use the beaches because they're like filled with just shit covered in garbage. That would be hilarious. Yeah, but they would corner the real estate market and it would and put up the ugliest apartments. Yeah, just put up the with like gates way too many sconces Kids in them. Yeah, what are those? And you're like gates?

I think it's because it's like isn't during like the holidays you have to sleep outside and so it's like kids Yeah, you can right now actually yeah In like tents outside and sometimes they have like those balconies they sleep in the yeah Yeah, which is weird too because the kids will just be running around at midnight it's terrifying like in the middle of the night you'll just see them running around like Brooklyn and it's like shouldn't you have like a at least a like a spy camera attached to you or something I used to live in South Williamsburg and they would have whenever I would come home from sets it could be 3 4 a.m. there would always be

children running around yeah and like a five-year-old pushing a stroller of a baby Uh-huh with no parent around yeah like a kid just doing an errand with a kid Yeah on on their way to I don't know so I saw some of them in one of the tents the other night And they had like a walkie-talkie, and they were like Like communicating with each other with walkie-talkies. Yeah, and I'm like you guys are like five years old that's awesome that's like awesome what if we got we had the matching walkie talkies we have and we can instead be if our parents don't let us use the phone we can talk to each other we are in the tent yeah that sounds fun yeah that sounds pretty fun yeah yeah the

funniest thing is when they're kind of winning on a New York City Marathon happens and you can tell that they need to like cross the street and you'll see them like occasionally just go for it in the middle of the marathon. They're like videos of it happening, but they're like it's so funny and they always have like a black bodega bag. Yep. Yeah, they're like Like they're like runners like just like trying to like go for their dreams. Yeah, and then just a Guy with an ottoman on top of his head. Yeah, the guy's fucking footstool I mean they all have like interest but because it's such like an insular society

They're not allowed to express them. It's like Kamala How there's things that she likes where they're like people. What do you think she like they are like Kamala? Yeah, that's true They're probably gonna that's gonna be that's who's voting for I Don't know she's got like something She probably like living rooms with a bunch of mirrors Bunch of like biased mirrors. I think that's good. Like big, like cat statues, like obsidian cat statues. Yeah, she likes to collect something, yeah. Funko pops, maybe. She strikes me as someone she'd like buy

like a picture frame and then just leave that picture, whatever picture comes with it and put a lot of those around her house. Yeah. Like the, so, like a serial killer? Stock photo person, yeah. That's bizarre. bizarre I know is that a type of person? no but that's the kind of thing she would do yeah it's like a like a like a furniture warehouse she probably has a cardboard television in her house yeah

she's like in a bottle of home yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah like one of those rooms atkea that you go to that they preset up that video that guy fucking lazy Yeah, dude amazing. That's so have you ever seen that video? It's like some like 57 year old man with like Like an American chopper goatee, right? It's like three. He's like a biker guy He's got his sons with him is like jugalow sons And he he does the like a huge bong rip and then downs like then he drink like a yard of beer afterwards yeah he drinks like a pint and then he drinks a pint yeah well he does it then he takes the bong rip and then drinks he does like with the needle what's that is that what

it's called yeah so he smokes a bunch of weed and then drinks an entire pipe of beer and then he like lets it out he he's like alright let's go and they zoom out and they're just in IKEA at the living room that's when the internet was nice before it got scary is it scary now I don't even know what X is scary it's people getting killed yeah who's getting killed on there ever you see videos of just like cartel executions yeah well that's not coming up in my feed it's all Donald Trump of McDonald's I get that too yeah that's the nice part I just don't here's what I do is I don't click on the videos of children dying you have the option you

have the option to just not watch those but you stop scrolling I mean that's what I do I stop grab your Jesus it's always like like I'll see a lot of like it's like an 18-wheeler and there's like a guy crossing the street and it looks like he's gonna make it and then it just like straight it just like plows him down and people like scream Elon did free speech but free speech is scary yeah that's what I found out it's really scary it's hard are killing yeah fucking so Trump wins he get they're gonna set up they're gonna bring him in to fire everybody is that what's happening what if Trump wins and Elon comes into the government and he gets a job firing everybody I think JD Vance gets to fire everyone. That's what they say project 2025 is.

Then they hire, I don't know. JD Vance is a very funny name. It's like a middle-aged black guy name. Yeah. Yeah. Like he owns a furniture store. Yeah. Or he does like the, the, the eight o'clock news. Yeah. I'm JD Vance. Yeah. Yeah. It's a's a it's a it's a very like a local Omaha like newscast. Woo. Smooth. Dude baseball season man. Yeah. What are we doing? Should we go to the World Series? You won't you don't have any money anymore. Can you take my series? Just lost all your

money betting on Cornell West. Can you take me to the World Series? We'll see what happens with Cornell do throw me Go next year with your millions of dollars Here you go, we got a grounder coming missed it It's coming back. I'm drinking my coffee. So Mint Mobile. Yeah. It's the only phone you can eat.

Yeah, it's fresh. It brushes your teeth while you talk. It's like the new port of cell phones. I want to go on Shark Tank with a phone that has a toothbrush in it. So you can brush your teeth while talking to people on the phone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I know this may be a dumb idea, but I'm really just here to fuck Lori. And then me walking out as the credits go. I didn't get a deal or what I wanted, but I did my best and that's all that matters. Yeah, I'll be at Cobbs in San Francisco November 14th through probably the 16th I guess. Cobbs, that's always fun.

Come to that. They have an original Xbox in the green room. Whoa. Yeah. Halo? Yeah, they have like 2K3. Oh nice. Yeah.

Wow, That sounds fun Uh guys this weekend Denver comedy where I will be in Atlanta at the improv this weekend Denver Comedyworks They gave me ten days to sell these tickets. It's gonna be an absolute unmitigated disaster But please come I would love to see you there. Are you vote do you vote? Are you a voter? I mean, yes, but only because the polling place is like, like a block from my apartment. So if I go to the train, it's there. And then, you know, I'm gonna go to the train every day.

So it's like, okay, well. So you vote in New York. Yeah, right. But I don't, I mean, I ended up like with the last presidential elections I go and then I ended up just voting for the green party candidate. Yeah, yeah. Cause it it's like there's no I Don't understand the point. It's a very anticlimactic thing

To pay attention to all this and and you don't want to either, you know It's just you have to I don't like want to pay attention to this. We were just inundated with yeah, right exactly They're option. Yeah, and then and then you go and I get the they let you keep the pen Which the pen is just for touching the screen. So it's not even have you got one of those or they're like you can keep that It's like this isn't even a pen. It's a stylus. It's a Fucking do with this thing Like it says I voted on it. And so when I just go like go up to a woman in a coffee shop check this out You ever see a stylist before?

Yeah, I participate in the democratic process myself that smell it's coming from my left side I vote in PA still I've lived in New York eight years. Oh, okay. So you maintain your your power The rest of us. Yeah, it's So you maintain your your your power. Yeah the rest of us Yeah, it's like the only state where it matters, right? I mean there's like five states where it affects It's really it's really funny that the election does come down to like just guys in state college like playing beer pong at 37 years old You know, it's like those guys are like, yeah, I guess I'll vote fucky I'm now I've never done it before but I guess I'll vote lucky. I'm now I've never done it before, but I guess I will. Who's Harris? That guy sounds cool. Who's that black bit? Yeah, I'll vote for I'm voting for the fucking black lady, I guess, and then

then that's who becomes president. And then if you live anywhere else in the country, it doesn't matter. It's not it's a it's gotten us this this far yeah, what as it's this system or our democratic system Well, it's gotten us this far, and it doesn't feel like it gets you much farther than this What do you mean like it feels like the end of the road? You think this is the last election ever I think by the time I'm dead I'd be shocked if it was still 50 states in one country. No. It would shock me. No, it'll continue forever. Why? Because the most boring thing always is the thing that happens. We'll probably kill everybody in Iran and yeah I mean we're gonna yeah we'll just

launch a war. We're just gonna kill a bunch of people and then we'll all be back together. Did you see that movie Civil War where it was like California, Texas versus the rest. I like yes Yeah, I like that movie, but it didn't make sense why California and Texas was squad up Yeah, I think that was the point is there was like no political Agenda in the movie was like and then they are together. So you have no idea what happened I was kind of like a lot in somebody's backyard Yeah, I thought it was cool. Yeah Yeah, no, I don't think that yeah it felt it felt a lot like

Like a John Carr. It felt like escape from New York to me. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I just don't think that anyone is motivated to do anything about anything. Really would you say that's projection? What'd you do the day before yesterday? I was sick right what? That's what I thought Monday The most productive day of the week nothing. What did you do Monday? I lifted weights. I did math What kind of math fucking calculus really yeah? What like what parts like this differential stuff, you know, really Delta? Yeah Why are you learning math right now? Just in case? Yeah, that's true. Just in case like he said

There's not gonna be many, you know, yeah, you got to fit in for China, right? Yeah. Well, I've been learning abacus actually Oh really? Yeah, so you can be the merchant you think that you think we're gonna keep that around The those two we're definitely gonna need one of those guys Does an abacus mean grandpa in Hebrew No, that's Saba Then what's at what's abacus? Abba is father What's grandfather? Saba. What's great grandfather? What's your mom's dad?

Saba. Okay, alright. I think you're wrong. I think it's Abacus. Why do you know so much about you? I don't know anything about... The same reason I know a lot about fucking Calculus now. Yes. You gotta hedge your bets here. Unlike you, I don't put everything on Cornell West. Well, I don't know how this fucking works.

I went to Ireland to try and understand you a little bit better. No, you gotta learn Chinese, you gotta learn calculus, you gotta enjoy the Trump McDonald's, you gotta figure out what Kamala's into and get your angle yourself, right? Because once those bombs start falling, you're gonna need to quickly decide who you have allegiance to and prove it Well, my allegiance is to you and my friends. No, I will not be there for you. Yes It will do you remember in 2016 when Trump was getting more popular when you earnestly asked me if I would hide you He completely made this no I didn't dude I mean it was one of the funniest completely made this up. No, I didn't, dude. I mean, it was one of the funniest. He completely made this up. It was that was, and he was serious.

No, he did it as a joke that he would hide me. He's like, oh yeah, I'm going to have to hide you. No, no, no, no, no. He was like, hey, his voice was shaking. He was like, would you hide me? It's a funny joke that you're doing. I was like, where? Where?

You thought that I thought Trump was going to? Under the PlayStation controller? I don't have no place to hide you. I don't You would hide me though. Yeah, but I would make it uncomfortable I would build I would build the safe house myself and really just do a bad job Like when they rebuild Flanders his house after the hurricane, that's where you would be staying Would have one door opens and it's just Barney's face he goes come in it's your master bedroom that's where you would be staying what kind of food would you give me the same thing they give the prisoners we discussed that oh

that was before a remark a remark oh but that's stadiums isn't it it's it's like it's prisons to prisons also they do prisons and stadiums? And colleges. Really? Yeah. That sounds evil. But yeah, they're very evil. Yeah. I'm sure. Are you, you worked for them? That's a Philly company, right? It's a Philly company. I never worked for them. They catered at my school. Where'd you go? UC Santa Barbara. Oh shit. So they would, they- You're from Cali? No, I'm from Philly. No, from Philly. I just went. I just went why'd you go there? What do you mean? Why? I went to UC Santa Barbara once very pretty there. It's beautiful. It's beautiful fucking awesome It's a really beautiful place. It was like too much though. I was like, I don't know if I could deal with this

I went back recently. I've 20 at 27 and I was like, this is fucking crazy. There's one street It's like Bourbon Street for 18 year olds and everyone's hammer drunk. There's people like passed out. Everyone's crying It's like it's like a post-apocalyptic scene of only like children Yeah, and every house is out there puking and so puking on the side where there's like cops arresting people. Yeah every night This is every night What made you want to go there? It was the only school I got into really I mean I got hard to get into a UC from out of state. I think you see I think it's easier You got to pay more right? No, but it's the acceptance rates are lower. Yeah, I don't know

I got into that in UVM University of Vermont Yeah Sick dude, I remember like the dumbest kids kids I went to school with all went to Boulder Yes, because they were like the 420 they have there is the most epic 420 They like chose there that mean they like smoke through like the weed even more. Yeah, it's so stupid Yeah, when you smoke a lot more weed, it makes it less fun. Yeah, it's a worse time to get really high I don't really smoke weed, but when we would go to those dispensaries and in the Berkshires always felt left out I was like man. I wish I enjoyed smoking weed. It's such a fun experience. You go to the dispensary

Yeah, because it's like a future type of business. You know it's something That's not it feels like thoroughly disconnected from any experience I had prior, but they're all just making stuff up to it's like what is this is sativa and they're like, that's a blend That's always that's the funniest to me when I tell people like I'd like yeah weed I don't really like it doesn't really work for me and they're like, oh well why? Yeah, exactly. They want to like educate me on like yeah. Well, you need a different blend I think did you know that's all bullshit. I would imagine. It's 100% bullshit. Yeah right. It's all the same at the end of the day it's

the same chemical compound right your brain's reacting to. It's weed. Yeah right. Yeah I think I've enjoyed weed I smoked it maybe a thousand times in my life and I've enjoyed it like five times I Remember seeing there will be blood in college. Oh jeez and everyone you were selling when I was yet And that you like that guy gave you that stupid weed and you're like was this called Death Star and he's like, yeah Yeah, it was like something like there was like a fake name for the like maybe I said it or you said I can't remember I said I'm gonna tell people it's called death star and then I text the guy and he's like yeah it's called death star yeah right that's what it was we guessed it yeah yeah because it was like tight and like circular mm-hmm dark yeah it was amazing but that's when I stopped smoking weed

was when I started selling it actually Really? Yeah because I saw what it did to people's lives. I went into the crack homes of the weed. Yeah it was pretty crazy people don't realize before the podcast Adam would like just sort of drive around the city in the back of like a Wrangler with no top and he had a bunch of gold chains and yeah I wear parachute pants and I tried out like running prostitutes too yeah I couldn't find any women running I was putting women on the blade for a while I tried I tried pimping for a bit but I couldn't I was laying down hose on the blade for a while yeah

the love between a pimp and his bottom bitch I can't I can't describe to you how deep the love is really what it is is you have to break them and then make them dependent on you oh yeah and you have to dress like a dandy you have to dress kind of like a foppish dandy and then if they disrespect you you have to go It was like one of the internet fight videos. I remember was like guy that knows karate versus pimp And it was like a like a pimp who won the karate. Yeah, the karate guy just like spin kicks him and then gets It's very funny He kicks his head off and he's like, you know, it's very funny.

He was probably smaller than the pimp. Yeah. He's like the end of the dog. It's like shot from like a, like a, someone's like apartment. They were... Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, way up. Kimbo Slice was the first...

I say I don't, I don't see, I did see a gory internet video the other day. It was like fucking... In Poland, this like, guy shoots his ex-girlfriend's fiance in the head then shoots himself And it's also somebody just from their like apartment complex just recording it on their phone It's like why aren't these the like shot on the iPhone 15? Why aren't wasn't that the billboard? Yeah, it's always like oh, it's like a SF like it's a Filipino baby, yeah, a glistening baby from the Philippines. It's like a beautiful and nobody's taking pictures like that on the I know it's a Polish guy murdering himself.

An Isis hostage video shot on if you go through my camera roll, ninety percent of it is screenshots with customer service departments You know what I mean? It's like shot on the iPhone 15 It's like no I talked to Barbara on September 15th, and they said they were processed fucking live. Yes That's not her real name. Yeah, I've said numerous times. Please do not use USPS to ship I will send you a link to the local post office with a one-star review So, you know, I'm not lying about the packages being stolen And what are they they are inept they refuse to do their jobs It's not my problem

Blame the federal government, but I'm not paying for this. I would like you to resend the Funko pops and if you don't have Han Solo in stock anymore I'm gonna kill you it's more than a refund I'm entitled to because this is a limited item yeah I want the amount of money I would have to spend to go on eBay and find this now which is $8,000 that's why I have them all screen-shotted. I got into it with American Airlines. I'm done with them. What happened?

American Airlines has the most comfortable seats. I'd say that, right? But they have no other amenities. So I would fly American Airlines, but they have the worst customer service. I was in first class, flagship first first because I had to fly across country whatever I don't care. I can't believe I can't ride fucking economy across country anymore I can't do it And it was one of those fucking lay flat seats and on the way back from Irvine it broke and got stuck down

Down yeah, and it was broken when I got on the fucking plane, and I wasn't like a dick about it I told them like hey, can you like this is broken? They were like oh we can try resetting. The answer is always let me try resetting it. Yeah. Which means I'm going to go. Yeah, right. I'm going to go like around the corner and just like, you know, stand there for a second, come back. Like, did that fix it? They did that with everything. The wifi. They didn't do anything because it was like physically broken. I sat down on the chair like, conk. It was already broken. I'm like, well, yeah, just guess.

Make a note of it. And then I let them know because it's illegal. You can't fucking take off with, like, they should have just bumped me or something. We were on a different flight. And then they were like, oh, yeah, that sucks. That was the response. Wait, you took off flat and landed flat? Completely flat.

It was cocked back and then it went down all the way and then I had to like physically I could get it But maybe halfway back up, but then it landed fucked up you get your money back. No, no, I got literally nothing They're just offer. That's too bad. They strapped you to the thing like yeah, like Hannibal Lecter. Mm-hmm they gave you like a yeah, if you had to go mummy style. Delta this weekend. And Delta is now attempting to serve Indian food on the plane, which that seems like more of a risk than whatever the hell Boeing's doing with the doors. I mean, like Delta Airlines presents chicken tikka masala. I don't think that's like, did you figure out cheese first? You know what I mean? Did you get the card? What's that? Did you get the card? Figure out cheese first. You know what I mean? Did you get the card?

What's that? Did you get the card? No, I'll never get an airline card. I bank with Chase. Nick, you got. When you go to the lounge and you're around fellow business travelers. I don't need the travel lounge because I know how to get to the airport on time. I get to the gate every time, like two minutes before they start boarding Every airport I got them all timed out all the country understand what it's like to be around fellow captains of industry

Thought leaders. No, I'm staying in my hotel, right? I'm enjoying the the the the fucking commissary I'm having a Reese's peanut butter cup and a couple of Advils, you know my free toothpaste the commissary I'm having a Reese's peanut butter cup and a couple of Advils You know my free toothpaste the commissary. Yeah, the Rikers. No it's a fucking hotel They have this stuff. I don't think it's called the calm. I think that's what it's called the commissary Yeah, you know when you're holiday in the Holiday Inn, enjoying a luxury experience. When your celly's making wine in the toilet. I'm at the Holiday Inn. At my hotel. Turning the cereal knob.

Which I want for my house, by the way. A knob that I turn and it dispenses exactly one styrofoam. That is nice. Or the waffle machine. Where you have to get the plate and unwrap it and put it right in and then you boop boop boop boop one waffle please. Yeah. Then it makes it.

I got orange juice that I bought on Fulton Avenue from a vending machine last night and I was like this might be the most dangerous. This is like base jumping for me. They have a machine filled with oranges and you like put your card in and it'll make you fresh squeezed orange juice. Oh I've seen those things. Yeah. we'll find out I mean I got another if I have diarrhea in the next three days and you can say no that was probably a bad choice that's a no that's a fool me once situation mm-hmm I pooped my pants

because of Oh because I your are you know because of the bodega by your house because of Yes Because the bodega by your house right? Yep. Yeah. No, that's what it was. It was it was What was it? What would you say it was? What would you say it was I pooped my pants, but there's a reason Of course, there was reason. Because of this. What do you mean? What did I see?

What did you have at the corner store? I had, okay, I had a breakfast sandwich. Then I had one of those Starbucks double shot espresso drinks that was dusty AF. I don't know why I said AF just not Pete can you cut that okay I had a cigarette one of those double shot Starbucks espresso things and and then a deli sandwich and then I felt something wrong then I pooped my pants at your house but it was from the deli did you

feel a rumbling before the shit came out? Stav was in the bathroom and I said, it's Stav, it's an emergency. And you know, you know he fucking that shit up. You know, Nick. And so it's Stav's fault. It's the bodega's fault. It's Stav's fault. It's Starbucks' fault. It's my fault. Okay? Yeah. It's something that will follow me for the rest of my life.

I would also watch a show where he's just being cross-examined every day of his life. Every day of his life he's called to the stand. And that's the type of government bloat I would support. If the Justice Department was like, if he had to testify in front of the Senate, the Senate Adam committee, the Adams lies committee, every day it was on C-SPAN, you get to tune in, they're like, just a reminder, you're under oath right now. And it's not related to Paul. It's about this. It's about shitting his pants. Yeah, exactly. What's your favorite episode of Cheers?

Because you said you're a big fan of the show. You can't name one episode show so yeah let's go ahead and look at this oh the one with Norm that's your answer do you want to elaborate on that because here we have this can we get this right and there's like a frame set up with a blown up tweet of Adams it says from five years ago I've never seen Cheers what's this he's like, that's a joke. It was a joke. It was a joke. It was satire. I was satirical. And then they, it drops down. There's like a little like a curtain on it and he replies himself, this

isn't a joke. It's not. Come on. I didn't say, will you hide me, by the way. I never said that, by the way. For the record. I never said that. But that has nothing to do with what we're talking about right now. Well, you said you made it appear as if there's a lie. Just Matt Gaetz's face getting tinier and tinier. Just it's shrinking into his skull as he questions Adam. These seem like lies to me, Mr. Friedland. You're lying to the American people. I'm just, I just want to make them laugh. Okay? I just want to make people have a nice time.

Yeah, well you're not doing a very good job of that either. I yield my time. Are your socks, did you wash those with another color? Because it's a nice yellow. I know, that's why I got them. You got them that color? Yes, Dick's Sporting Goods. Big sale going on right now 30% off Wow. I like sporting. I like those socks. They're really nice That's what I call deflection actually mm-hmm. What happened that guy Trey Gowdy? He's on like Fox or something He's not in the government anymore. No no that guy was awesome. Who's that? What do you do Trey Gowdy? He was like the senator from? Georgia

Something like that. Yeah, yeah, I don't know he's like the yeah, and then he had the most fucked up haircut of all Yeah, he has a weird. He looks like earthworm Jim, and he's got fucking he's he he was like big during the the Benghazi Investigation okay, yeah, I'll be in Yeah, he was like I forget which yeah committee he was on. He looked kind of like a lesbian of a cert like a sixty three year old les. Yeah, then he made his name with Benghazi and then he had like four years of just hauling people in and being like this is a picture of a woman's vagina who is raped by legal

immigrants. What do you have to say for yourself? Yeah, this is your fault. And I'd be like, I was, what do you have to say to the American people who are looking at a baby that was fucked to death by an immigrant? And then I fact, don't even answer that. There's another picture. It's like, yeah, during the Adam hearings. Yeah. But then I think he was like, he's not a Trump guy. He like, we got mad about Trump. Really? Yeah. He cucked on Trump. I would imagine he'd be number one. No, he was like he's not a Trump guy. He like we got mad about Trump really Yeah, he cucked on Trump. I would imagine he'd be number one. No, he was really mad about the Stormy Daniels thing He's like this is disgusting that a president would have sex. Oh, yeah, he's a player hater

Yeah, he's a player fuck trey gowdy. Yeah, fuck that guy I'm glad he's gone. Mm-hmm That is the lamest reason to hate Trump for fucking up horns. Well, the lamest one now is that he worked at McDonald's for a day. Yeah. I mean, it's wild that they're even attempting to... Are they mad about it? They're mad about it.

What are they saying? I don't know, you just see people on social media being like... Well, yeah, they're saying that he cooked the fries wrong, and this was staged. They got nothing on our boy. Of course it is. They got nothing on our boy. They have nothing on our boy. Of course it is. They got nothing on our boy They have nothing on our way Was anyone under the impression that he was actually working at McDonald's my dad

My dad called me the other day and he was like so get this Trump was at a rally and Instead of giving his speech because he's bored of his stump speech He just DJed and played music for 30 minutes and he played Andrea Buccelli and stuff and I was like cool I was like alright then I watched it cuz I was like let's see let's see yeah it's like someone had a stroke and they call the paramedics or awesome no it's like a vast but that's what it was is he looks so good he was talking and then like some guy had a fucking heart attack and he kept the vibe. Well he asked he asked him he was like do you guys just want me to keep talking or should we just listen to music and they were like let's

listen to music. He's awesome. He's like all right but honestly it looked so fun. It's it's better than listening to a fucking stump speech is just vibing with him. Yeah, yeah, he's playing like yeah, the the Carmela song that she like taps her. I think people are mad about the McDonald's thing because it's so simple and it's like I mean it works. Well, Kamala said she worked at I know they're like mocking her. He's like well I owe he said Trump goes you know I never worked at McDonald's but I always wanted to which it's like it's bulls like you can't call him out for being a liar because he knows we all know he's lying. Yeah, we all know it's bullshit, but

it's like it's funny. Damn, that's too funny. You come back at him. I know right funny and then meanwhile you have like Obama rapping with Eminem the next day and it's like this stank, but well, that's the annoying thing about the, it's like the sincerity is really off-putting. Well none of them are sincere. No, but the attempt at it. Oh yeah. That, that, because I don't feel that Trump really tries that hard to be sincere.

But I do feel that like Eminem, did you see that speech that went viral of him? Being like, yo Detroit, Detroit real talk you gotta vote for Kamala but he was like well insane as a Michigan posse didn't insane clown posse endorse Kamala also really mm-hmm but kid rock is and then there's people on Twitter being like this this signals big trouble for Donald Trump and it's like does it though is it doesn't that seem like that's more of like you really need to be in a rough spot to be like we need the insane clown posse to endorse our candidate for Michigan in a two billion dollar campaign. We need the insane clown posse.

Yeah, when my dad called me and he was like, Dick Cheney just endorsed Kamala, I was like, how far right wing is this country? Here's my question too, because this is developing. There's this guy who's now just declared himself the rightful president of Iran, right? Oh yeah, Iran? Pahlavi, yeah. Okay. He was like the son of the former Shah. Of the Shah. Can I be president of Iran because if there were not holding those elections there we're deciding it here and I think I did anyone else get a chance to put their name in no so me why not right fuck him I'm the president of Iran let's get that on what he called on that website yeah I'm gonna put I'm gonna try to win my money we should have like some kind of formal election and I will run against him as

The rightful president of Iran and if there is if they do somehow do a coup and there's regime change I will go over there and govern And you'll do your mayor Shama voice I would think I would have to draw I think everything I've ever said is probably illegal there Voice I would think I would have to draw I think everything I've ever said is probably illegal there So I would need to work out some kind of clean slate thing and then we'll have to do like a Hannibal Lecter setup for the first year Until I know what you're allowed to say and not allowed to say You could run in like it would probably take me two years to figure out how to tie the turban

Do they have turbines around? Yeah, they have like the the mullahs have like a special It's like fucking like it's like a ten foot long scarf And you have to wrap it on your knee, and then you put it on your head. That's so sick. Yeah There's is very involved, but Ahmadinejad never would just wore like he looked like he was just going to work Hugo boss Well, he just looked like he worked at like Springfield at the nuclear plant with with Homer Dude, let's go to the World Series. You don't have any money. I don't need it. I just faked I Just want to play catch that Catch felt so clean gloves. We can go to the park right after the

gloves right now. Yeah they're in the they're in the bag of sports equipment that's in here for some reason. Let's go. We have two gloves we have two gloves we have a bad we've got about 20 balls. Let's go. Yeah there's no room. We're just doing home runs in like girls with sweet green like just girls like marketing girls getting sweet green just hitting liners into their faces. Yeah, I go store. It's a park yeah just go in the Lego store and smash everything and they're like. What are you doing? You're like fucking rebuild it dude. It's like us. I'm what's the problem? I thought that was the whole

point of this shit. I like to free build dude. I don't like the sets mm-hmm do you do that you do free building Legos at home I did as a kid it was real what a brag dude what a brag I didn't say it as a kid dude I would play with Legos that was a brat I come up my own stuff, my parents just never got me the fucking death star or anything. They just got what's your what's your number one Lego build like pyramids at Giza? Okay, free build. All right. Did you do the insides too? So you could open it up and it's like a diorama. I would never go in those pyramids by the way. I don't know if I've ever said that before. I don't. I see the videos of people doing that. I'm like this seems like they go in them. Yeah, they go in the pyramid and

it's like that seems like a really bad idea. I didn't even know that. I don't think my building is safe and it's a hundred years old. Yeah, I would not go in a stone from ten million years ago. You know what I mean, especially one that was designed to hold dead bodies. It just seems haunted. Yeah, yeah, it seems bad, but I would get what's the vape thing? What's the what's the toss in the bit? You do that every time I don't know, but the aspect in the catch aspect is really just it's not and the the world series. It's really just getting my juices flowing

on on this catch Situation after this we're gonna show bet on the World Series to offset your Cornell West loss Okay, well, who would you bet on though? Or you would bet you have to bet on Dodgers Yeah, I'm gonna bet on the Dodgers But they're not gonna do it Dave Roberts fucks it up every year That's not like that's not the gambling spirit yeah Matt stares into the night yep that was a big moment you're a big baseball fan no not anymore not anymore yeah yeah that was a huge moment but my dad really needs this right now he needs the Dodgers and Kamala

oh he's a Kamala guy oh he needs needs Kamala to win. Okay. So if you guys like my dad please vote for Kamala Harris. Don't you need don't you need Cornel West to win? Why are you hawking for Kamala now? It's more important that the old man is happy. Yeah that's true. His dad's had a rough one I you know, I'll vote for Kamala just for I kind of will for him. Yeah, just for Adam's dad No, yeah, I mean maybe for my dad He really it'll really make him happy. He thinks that Vladimir Putin is trying to kill him. So him personally Yeah, yeah, he's watching enough Maddow to think that yeah, if Trump wins He will be sent to Guantanamo Bay

The way that old people are acting right now as if it has any impact on their lives Yeah, like literally they it doesn't matter at all to them. Yeah, they're gonna make the New York Times crossword illegal Yeah, yeah right no more crossword illegal yeah right no more crossword puzzles yeah no I I hope that those two things happen more so for him than anything else yeah the Dodgers are I watched a little bit of the postseason and the Mets honestly were like kind of more fun but I don't really like baseball anymore. I wish this election was over already. It's given me a lot of anxiety And I don't have it's like I'm not Did shouldn't what are you anxious about? I just want it to be done. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah and move on talk about something else

Like gladiator 2 how's the next thing on it doesn't come out till after the election? Okay Yeah, but I'm ready to be excited about that It's like the politics have just not stopped for a decade now and I needed to me personally just stop we need to get back to yeah to gladiator to fucking up the Lego store Having fun. Let's just have fun right now. Let's play catch in the park. Okay You want to come? Yeah, I mean I throw it. Yeah. Okay. We only have two gloves though. Well, then that's gonna make it tough. Okay It's like I'm inviting you over to my house play video games, but it's a one-player game

Yeah, and I'm like no no Skyrim. No, let me die one more time one more time But he's using both controllers. Do you remember that rich kid who had all the cons? Oh, yeah, and you had to be nice to him. Yeah, even though he sucked. Yeah, I had every console. I had a friend. I had a friend, Adam, also South African Jewish when I was a kid. Yeah, I would do. I go over his house and his mom would scream downstairs and be like, are you letting Nick play? And then you go yes, and he'd be and he would go, don't tell her that he wasn't. Yeah, but I I had fun I liked watching and then he

would piss in the his basement it was a finished basement but still have one of those utility sinks you would take a break the piss in the sink Wow I instead of going upstairs yeah I used to do that too and I played video games there's nothing about being a kid you don't want to see your parents uh-huh when you've been playing video games for four hours and then the real treat they had ice cream sandwiches. Oh That's yeah, so down in the basement now. I don't recall those being in the base Okay, they could have been but I don't remember that yeah, but I just remember boy when those ice cream sandwiches came out now We're talking it's we were a healthy food household, so I'd have to go to my friend's house for junk food It sucked yeah, my mom used to let me put yeah

Adam just ate like crickets and Whatever they could catch in the web, I guess. Yeah most part. So caterpillars and butterflies dirt mostly Come on man There was a hole filled with ants and even lying on my ass I'll stick his tongue into the hole and this weekend in Denver Colorado the twenty fifth and twenty six they've given me ten days to sell twelve hundred tickets probably I think I've sold about eleven tickets so if you want to come I don't know there's a lot of walk up so you got nothing to worry

about that's a that's a that's to worry about that's a great clubs in the country a club I that's where Nick did a special I really enjoyed being there Denver is a great place I'm flying my cousin out if you want to meet my cousin Jared she'll be out there he's a comedian or no just to spend time together oh cool well hang out in the green room well I don't know if I collect stories I don't know if I can collect stories. I don't know if I can say this. I'll fly him out there and then he'll come on the show the week after be like here's. Here's how annoying he was and then put him on blast. No, no, I don't you know family stuff. I'll

tell you after I'll tell you after all right guys. Thanks for watching. Thank you bye.