The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - J.P. McDade - Episode 69
Episode Date: August 31, 2024The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - J.P. McDade - Episode 69 Follow J.P. McDade on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mcdadebaby/ Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://ww...w.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #jpmcdade
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Adam Friedland show.
Special guest, Connecticut's favorite son, JP McDade.
He's here to, he wants to promote his, that was a,
I invited you to promote.
He wants to, he begged and pleaded to promote his comedy.
He gave head to a roadie. It's funny. I get texts from comics all the time and they're like, hey
I'm promoting my special if I come on the show which anybody can come on the show whenever they want
But it's like the promoting it's a given now
JP McDade live in
Stops channel in Brooklyn on Stops channel in Brooklyn. You got it. Why didn't you do live?
you know, I had this whole justification for it and
Now I can't remember I think it was cuz like I developed a lot of material in Brooklyn
Okay, I was like, hey my family's from here your team like spent a lot of time making that decision
Yeah, my right you had lawyers writers room was in Brooklyn that material for this special. You have a lot of lampoon guys.
A lot of lampoon.
Jewish sexual predators, 97 years old.
Yeah, we're paying them only like $125,000 a year
for my material.
I wrote on Sanford and Son.
Yes, you're hot.
Yeah, and I just basically worked with my choreography
coach in Manhattan.
Oh, yeah.
You do a lot of body work.
You use the space a lot in the special.
Yeah, there's a lot of dance.
Yeah.
What's your main influence?
Hip hop, or is it more of a classical Bolshoi ballet
kind of thing?
No, I first fell in love with Baryshnikov.
And then from there, it was like Greg Proops.
So then I decided to merge into it.
That's another guy where it's like,
that's another guy. I just's gotta suck to be him now.
What's Proobz up to?
I feel like he's covered in newspapers, like fecal stains on them, and he's like, just
read the news!
Just love the fucking news, dude.
I always quote one thing that he used to do, like on one premium blend or something he
did.
Yeah, not Logic Train? Logic Train! Yes. that he used to do like on one like premium blend or something he did yeah not logic train logic train oh man awfucks yeah yeah and your name sounds
like once yeah Greg come on the show does he have a special call Greg
proofs colon his pants yeah that was a that one. Bill Cosby himself. Yeah.
Greg proofs his pants.
Greg proofs his pants.
Cosby's out of jail.
Is that right?
Yeah, he's a free man.
Is he doing podcasts or?
He's got to be doing something.
He has to be getting back out there.
He's got to get his life back.
Now that society got that one wrong.
More like we need him.
And he was vindicated 100%.
We need him.
Yeah. A clerical error in like we need him. And he was vindicated 100%. We need him.
A clerical error in the trial made him completely
innocent of anything.
It'd be funny if he was like a procedural thing, right?
Yeah, it was like they used evidence.
Like chain of custody?
They used evidence from a civil case in his criminal trial,
and they weren't supposed to do that.
Nice.
How do you fuck that up?
Yeah, right?
That seemed, they're completely different cases. It's not like the, because I would imagine Nice. How do you fuck that up? Yeah, right?
That seems, they're completely different cases. It's not like the, cause I would imagine
it's like the district attorney's case that fell apart, right?
I think so, yeah. Seems like day one stuff.
Right, but it's like, it's not like they have those files in their office.
Right, it's from a different...
They didn't handle, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, it wasn't turned over to them.
Yeah.
Well, now that he's been vindicated 100%, but in the eyes of the law, he's also welcome
to come on.
It'd be funny if you want to kill Tony or something.
Yeah.
He's just like getting back out there, doing the circuit.
He went on fucking fighter in the kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's doing the pods.
Did anyone ever tell him to pull up his pants?
Damn.
Wow.
Because that seems to be the problem,
is he kept pulling his pants down.
No, he was a through the zipper guy.
That's the essence of comedy.
That's how he got away with it.
It's that inversion of perspectives.
Yeah, he was like, I assaulted so many women,
but I never sagged while doing it.
I think he's a bad guy, personally.
JP, you were saying before the show, you're thinking.
He's out.
I'm waiting to see.
I'm waiting to hear the full story.
It'll depend on his next special.
Then I'll reach a verdict.
If I did it.
OJ, famously, another criminal that was released.
Or no, he wasn't released.
He was vindicated in the eyes of the law.
He moved to Vegas, and we would see him around afterwards.
That rocks.
And he always had a bag man with him.
So he made money, I think, from signing pictures of himself.
And then his friend would get paid for it.
That might be the next phase of the comedy boom,
is just like we sell memorabilia.
Comics are just selling autographs
at big conventions and stuff.
Yeah, but you need to get your boy to hold the money.
Do you think people will go to conventions?
I think they will.
I feel like we've exploited the comedy fan base Like maybe too much when we were in Melbourne though
You me and stop. It was like a comic-con. They were like nicks there. There were stops there
There was a Hawaiian shirt, but we did a show. Yeah, but they were like they were like gay guys
They're like you've always I was identified with you dressed as commits in a Gordon
I have a small earring like you my friend say I'm a fig it
Like yeah
They were like, yeah Adidas tracksuit guys were Nick with mustaches
It was kind of a little bit shocking. I also accidentally stood up to racism on that show if you remember I
Don't there's someone was talking during the set. I remember farting in your face probably ten times. That was that was
I think it was more than ten times. No, no, I just I kept getting him
I would do it. I would stand I would stand I would pretend like I was doing something and then he'd be sitting down
I'd be like, I got eight there's wires
I got a plug in there and just rip one like inches from his face point blank
Yeah, right and then like a golden eye when you're screen looking
and multiplayer, you see like, he's about to turn a quarter.
Pa-pow.
Right.
So I would do that.
I would do that.
And then we'd laugh about it.
I'd be like, come on.
And then maybe 15 minutes later, she said,
find a different way.
And I got him every time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, hey, can you sit with me like in the editing bay
real quick and just like look at this one thing? Yeah. And just like, hang on. I'm going to get a coffee. And just like stand up and time. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, hey, can you sit with me in the editing bay real quick and just look at this one thing?
Yeah.
And just hang on.
I'm going to get a coffee and just stand up and whack.
Right.
I was like a spider with it, dude.
And none of this was recorded.
Ceiling.
No.
No, we weren't doing like that.
Best things in life aren't recorded.
It was all for love of the game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of comics, they post content of hanging out.
Maybe that's why you stood up to racism,
because you were gassed.
Yeah. You had just been. I couldn't understand what the guy to racism, because you were gassed. Yeah.
Well, you had just been.
I couldn't understand what the guy was saying.
He was hit with the truth serum.
And then I got DMs and stuff, and there was on Reddit,
like, Boothratt, standing up to racism.
High on methane.
Yeah, someone was like.
Oh, he said the Aesler.
Yeah, he was saying the Aesler, and I didn't.
I could.
The little known Aesler.
It was just gibberish to me.
I was like, I thought it was a heckle.
And the Aesler is not the word.
Aboriginals is fine, or can you not say that?
I think you can say Aboriginals.
L you can say.
Yeah, aboriginal you can say.
The Y one you can't say.
Aborigina.
No, the super shortened one.
Well, that's the worst one.
But even, I think in America, we're taught Aborigine,
and that's also not cool. Yeah
That's more like the colloquial. That's you can you could say that like there's a you stead form in the to form
I think it's a soft day. Just be like soft a version. Yeah, they can say it to their friends, but yeah, we can't
We have to earn that card. Yeah, you have to go to the Council of Elders. Yeah. Yeah on Ayers Rock
Yeah You have to go to the Council of Elders. Yeah. Yeah on Ayers Rock Yeah
Did you see the new Mad Max movie the girl one? No, yeah, I did I watched it. It's good
Is it is it on 4k blu-ray yet? I watched I rented it in 4k, but I don't know if that's yeah
but you need the blu-ray because the blu-ray has the
7.1 sound
Yes, yeah because the Blu-ray has the 7.1 sound. Yes.
Yeah.
Your physical media.
4K is just resolution.
When Apple tells you, oh, with movies in 4K,
that's not the same as movies.
Movies that were recorded in 4K.
Yeah, it doesn't mean anything.
I mean, it's delivered in 4K, too.
Yeah.
But you're losing color information.
You're not getting the soundscape you know some of them have
the right sound now but still yeah home media is the I have these Simpsons DVDs
and I have nothing to play them on oh really in my life I have all 10 I had the
first ten seasons on DVD yeah I have like fourth or nine I just gave away my
ps4 to my friend and he and he didn't say thank you maybe I'll get it back from
Jonah and give it I'll do an OJ style get back. You don't steal my steal my own shit
I know it was my I know I have PS 5 now and I know my girlfriend's been yelling at me to get rid of PS 4
But you know a courtesy. Thank you would have been nice Jonah PS4 awesome. I was playing a
Batman Arkham Knight on my friends's PS4. Finished that game.
That's a beautiful game.
Yeah.
I never played it.
Is it ever daytime there?
The characters could be boys.
Is it ever daytime?
Takes place in one night.
Yeah.
Halloween night.
I love it.
Back when you were allowed to be a boy in a video game.
Yeah, it's all girls now we were talking about.
It makes me so mad.
Are you digitally trans? trans no I just played this
role I play sports nice and never the girl team play the WNBA video absolutely
not come on dude don't make those accusations if you delete your save
file in that they're all you can play naked all the women are naked nice yeah
yeah that was the Laura Croft thing. You can see your square titties. There should be a cheat code in the WNBA game where you can play as a man.
Just just cook it.
Juana, man.
The stats are all backs out all your sense.
You get Juana, man.
Dunking from the stands.
Dwight Howard. Yeah.
Yeah. Whoever that is.
I watched Corky Romano again recently.
It really holds up.
A rewatch of Corky.
It really holds up.
Well, I was reminded of it because I
think someone on Twitter or something shared that Chris
Catan claims that Paul Thomas Anderson co-wrote it with him.
Some people say it isn't true, but he's
like adamant that Paul Thomas Anderson was
the co-writer of Corky Romano.
But I have to say, it really holds up.
He's phenomenal.
It's just there's absolutely no like.
It'd be funny.
You watch Corky Romano, and there's
a number of extremely well-placed needle drops,
like a Paul Thomas Anderson movie.
It's like, oh, shit, maybe he's honest.
Yeah, yeah.
There's like a, yeah.
Like a, Anderson movie it's like oh shit maybe he's honest yeah yeah there's like yeah like it has a beautiful soundtrack yeah no like there's nothing to his character
other than he's nice and he's gay he's just a gay guy yeah but I let no one
yeah it's not explained they never say that he's gay, but he's just a nice the SNL character
He would do that was just like a spastic kind of like monkey. There was mango. I guess your peepers. Yeah
Confused yeah
Mango was a good bit like mango was a was a human man. Did he do that in his audition creature?
Like for SNL. They're like what characters you have he's like I about like a feral like mongoloid guy I think yeah I think he's like perched on the
stool eating an apple really fast yeah right like that yeah mango was like a
diva that famous man would fall in love with I'm pretty funny confusing gay men
and monkeys again yeah yeah that happens a. Monkeypox is what did it for
me. Yeah, my gay uncle was like, I didn't come from no monkey. Yeah, he said that to
me the other day. Yeah. Yeah. Then why you got monkeypox? I was like, it's a it's a terrible
stereotype. My friend JP propagates. I tried doing a bit like a lot when they look about
AIDS. So they said AIDS came from some guy fucking a monkey. But then like a southern gay guy that's like, man,
I didn't come from no damn monkey.
You know?
But I don't know.
Revolution aspect.
Guys, it's not really very funny.
And guys, I got to tell you about something really cool.
And it's called Liquid IV.
Have you had it before, Nick?
Yeah, I got it in my bottle right now.
And note to sponsors, if you send this stuff and it's good,
I'm not opening it on the show.
I'm taking it home.
Yeah.
I'm taking it home and I'm filling my Yeti, what is it,
40-some ounce.
Who is not a sponsor.
Just to be clear.
Who's not a sponsor, but whatever.
They don't make fucking water bottles, I'm assuming.
No.
But when they do, we will replace all our water bottles
with liquid IV water bottles and
Nick what are some of the refreshing summer flavors that you've been getting into?
There's like a ice cream. Yeah popsicle firecracker perhaps. Yeah, maybe rainbow sherbert crack. They got cracker ice cream. Yep
We have enjoyed the lemon
lime and the white peach.
Thank you, JP.
Indeed, all of those flavors hit the spot
and when you need a transformative hydrating
relief all summer long.
I like to indulge in hydration with electrolytes.
I don't know about you guys.
Is that right?
Yeah, yeah.
Essential vitamins, clinically tested nutrients
from the number one powered hydration brand
in America, Liquid IV.
This should change the name of electrolytes.
Because you learn that as a kid, and you're like, what?
Like electricity?
And they're like, well, no, not really.
It's more like salt. And it's like, well,
then change the name.
You know?
Sounds cool.
Right.
If it has nothing to do with electricity.
Energy salts.
Yeah, I don't know.
Power sodium.
We talked about our favorite flavors.
We like faster hydration.
And plain water just doesn't fucking do that for me.
Sorry about the cuss during the read.
I like to, if I have a long night out, hit a couple beers.
They are putting that in there now.
I was confused when we first picked them up
whether they wanted it.
Because I know people drink this when they're hungover.
I don't know.
I kind of ad-libbed.
I'm not a hungover.
Oh, OK.
They said talk about personal experiences.
OK, so I know people.
So I'm addicted heavily to drugs and alcohol.
And in the mornings, I use Liquid IV
to indulge in hydration with electrolytes
and essential vitamins and clinically tested nutrients.
But also I don't close when I sleep.
So I wake up four or five times a night with my eyes burning
and my eyelids are stuck.
I have to physically close them with my hands.
And it's excruciating.
And so I spend most of the day heavily exhausted and dehydrated.
And Liquid IV, I think, is keeping me alive.
And that's a great personal endorsement.
Yeah, I think I would be dead right now.
Vic's wartime experience is such that he's propped up
against a wall all night long with his eyes half closed.
So this is that alert during the day.
No, I think the muscles that control my eyelids
have just like atrophied.
Yeah.
Yeah, from like not blinking.
I went to an eye doctor and he said, yeah, it's like,
you could do blinking exercises. I'm like use it or lose it. Blinking exercises.
I'm like, I'm not even going to do regular exercises.
My grandma had that.
She would sleep with her eyes open.
It's terrifying.
Yeah.
My dog does that, too.
Yeah?
Yeah.
And my dog also has like Vietnam flashbacks.
But I think all dogs do.
Yeah.
She remembers Da Nang province in her sleep.
Anyway, guys, so these are some great,
if you wanna prolong the existential dread
and agony of human life,
because your eyes have stopped working,
you should use Liquid IV.
You can find all your favorite flavors on their website
from acai berry to lemon lime pina colada.
They got a whole lot of these things.
And guess what guys, they have sugar-free flavors as as well, like raspberry melon, white peach, green grape.
I had no idea what a Sai was. And I went to a place, like, I was on the road, like, a
year ago or something. And I needed lunch. And I went into a place that was in a Sai
place. I thought it was, like, a grain. I thought it was a red gelatinous fruit type thing.
I thought it was getting like quinoa or something.
And then I just ended up having an ice cream for lunch.
Basically a smoothie that you have with a spoon.
I went in and I was so embarrassed.
I was already in line.
I was up to play.
They're like, what do you want?
I mean, this is just Baskin Robbins.
You're really on the spot in those places. There's sections of the menu. You have to pick items from each section. what do you want? I mean, this is just Baskin Robbins. You're really on the spot in those places.
There's sections of the menu.
You have to pick items from each section.
What do I do?
I was like, do you have a salad?
They were like, no.
No, you're talking.
Tear, pour, live more.
One stick, 16 ounces of water, hydrates
better than water alone.
Every culture just have their own type of ice cream
when they're all the same.
They let the Italian people are like, oh, we got gelato.
We got Spumoni.
It's like, no, you've made ice cream.
I'm sorry, but that's nothing new.
Your big hit, pizza, invented by the Chinese.
Pasta, Chinese.
Yeah, Marco Polo.
Yeah, Marco Polo brought that back.
It's true.
Hitting your wife.
Was it really Chinese people who are that JP that's great
There's another thing he's kicking his wife in the face. You made the pizza wrong
pizza bad
Powered by live hydro science TM an optimized ratio of electrolytes essential vitamins and clinically tested nutrients that turn ordinary water into
extraordinary hydration guys if you indulge in hydration this summer,
get Liquid IV.
And if you put in our promo code,
get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV
when you go to liquidiv.com and use code TAFS at checkout.
That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration
today using promo code TAFS f s at liquid IV comm
all right thanks a lot and now we're back so JP how's your summer truly blessed
you were pretty nice pretty wonderful really it's pretty good got a little traveling in
did some did some dates i went zip lining really goes up on it
it's kinda not that excited sky not that exciting with their looks way
in concept better than what it actually is which is why i was i really enjoyed
that there was a guy there on the group it's like a nature walk
throughs means of zip line through the treetops in like this spot north
carolina
and there was one guy on the group
who uh... he said it was his 15th time
going zip lining and he had done several that year and he was like all about he's a zip
line guy. Oh he was a customer. Yeah he was a customer. Oh he wasn't it. Was he like working
his way up to maybe like. No I don't think he had any kind of he's just friends with
it. He's like he just love of the zip. Yeah, yeah. Love of the lines.
It's not as cool as in an action movie
when you're trying to get from building to building.
Right.
There's a lot more safety measures.
Which is really what you think.
But he's like telling the guides, like, oh, yeah,
this one, this tower is pretty high.
This is probably the highest tower in the state.
Like, I did another one.
In North Carolina.
It was not quite as high.
I watched, there's a show, I stopped watching it.
It's called Seven Little Johnstons.
It's about a dwarf family.
And they have two dwarf children that are biological kids.
And they've adopted three other dwarfs.
And so there's seven of them.
And in one of them.
Kind of bigoted.
Yeah.
And the show is great.
It's a great reality show, because every episode,
the dad
has some kind of project that he's doing,
and he's not particularly good at making things.
So it's like they go to the junkie.
He wanted to make a chair for the living room,
because they moved into a house that they're going to renovate.
Eventually, they just abandon.
They just leave the house.
They're making enough money off the show
that they just go to a house that doesn't need renovation.
But the first season, they're like all sleeping
on the floor of the living room because the house
needs all this work.
So he's like, I'm going to make a chair for the living room.
So he goes to the junkyard and gets a chair out of a van,
screws two by fours under the bottom of it.
So it's not like he's bad at it for any reason related
to being a little person.
No, no, yeah.
Nothing, yeah.
He's just a southern guy with too much confidence.
He's dispelling the notion that dwarves are good at working.
He's an overconfident southern father.
And then, yeah, so it's not.
I can make you one.
Yeah, hell, I could build it.
I'm like an underarm or polo guy.
I see.
Oh, I see.
Like a baseball dad.
It culminates with like, there's one
where he decides to remove a tree in the front yard,
and he sets their truck on fire.
The truck, just the fire department shows up.
And then as the credits roll, they have another,
they have a landscaping company doing it.
He's got the winch on the stump.
He's trying to pull it out.
He overheats the engine.
Yeah, exactly.
And there's leaves underneath.
And it catches on fire.
And so then they have to go buy a new truck.
And it's them at home.
And they've, whoa, we got the new truck.
And they pretend like that's what the story arc of the episode
was getting a new truck and not trying to.
And then they have a regular landscaping company doing the job
while they're looking at the new truck. That's awesome
It's very funny, but there is
There's an episode where they go zip lining and the small Chinese boy that they've adopted or he's Korean sorry
They're not heavy enough to get to the other side. No. He's just he's
Crying he really doesn't want to do the zip line. They finally commit to do it
And he loves it, but you know, those ziplines are all in the woods.
Yeah.
And can you imagine just being on like fucking
mushrooms in the woods?
Tree elves.
And yeah, just flying.
You're like, I microdosed.
I don't understand how this is happening.
But what a sight to behold.
What a beautiful bit of television.
Like, Reality TV producers just said, What a sight to behold. What a beautiful bit of television.
Reality TV producers just said, why make a sitcom
for millions and millions of dollars an episode?
We can take a dwarf family and make them into a sitcom family.
Yeah, I mean, the first reality show was like Cops.
And then after that, Survivor was the next big hit.
And in the late 90s. The real world and stuff. Yeah, real world, Survivor was the next big hit. And like, in the 90s, the late 90s.
The real world and stuff.
Yeah, real world was, that was early too.
But then it had a game to it.
Yeah, well, there's a lot of game aspects.
It was always kind of like, you know, Survivor.
Fox had one that I remember watching as a kid.
It was John Cena's first big breakout was...
Before wrestling?
No, it was during wrestling.
It was his first thing outside of wrestling,
I think. And it was like it was it was it was it was something like it was like you
were on an island and you had to avoid being like killed by like marine predators basically.
And John Cena was it was like American gladiators put on an island like legends of the hidden
temple but they did it on the most dangerous game.
It was like, yeah, you were hunted by John Cena.
Sort of like that.
And then and then after that, it's
just been 20 years of being like either.
Yeah, either people are stupid or they're fat
or they're too big or they're too small.
They're whores.
Yeah, it would be love island with my girlfriend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I live up to the hype that seems to be big this season
They said was good. So we started watching it. I do like the idea of John Cena like not being a wrestler first
He's just the host of some reality show like that
Host he was like one of the hunters. Oh, I see
Yeah, so he's a cyclist guy a lot of snarling and running around with a paintball gun sure yeah
That's cool. That'll be fun
Our comics going on reality shows to like bump their careers. I should they should
Something that like handsome mixed-race guy. Oh, yeah that guy does like piercing blue eyes. He was on
real world New Orleans Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah that guy. He's like buff, right?
Yeah, you know was on like one of the real-world seasons before every day
Yeah, and now he's interviewing like oh
It's wrong and I love too cuz he's on the opposite end of the spectrum is Rogan
you know, we're like
Rogan all You know, where like, Rogan will like, try to get to the correct information or whatever, like, get technical information out of people,
and then Theo will sit there and be like, so what is a hot air balloon? I don't understand.
Because like, you know, you would think it's cold up in the sky.
So I don't even understand.
He'll take the information and use that to get to a story.
Yeah.
Why is the air?
Why do they even call it that?
Yeah, we had a guy in our town.
He was a hot air balloon.
He was the mayor.
He was a hot air balloon.
But how is that different from, like, just a balloon?
Because you want to get it hot, right?
Because that's devil magic.
The devil, he creates fire.
It creates heat that goes into the balloon makes you know
Devil balloons fly the guess is like, I don't know
Anyway, thanks for joining us professor Cornell West. Yeah, you know
Dude, he's got so much charisma. He rocks career. You know truly rocks. Did you see the clip of him describing coke to Trump?
Yes, that was pretty good. It's really good.
Yeah.
And Trump's like, that's hardcore stuff?
Well, I've never really tried it.
It sounds very interesting.
I really think Trump is not lying about that.
I think he managed to be a really rich business New York
guy and never actually.
He's always said he never drank.
I could kind of see that.
His brother died from alcoholism.
I think it scared him.
Yeah, I think he's afraid of alcohol.
He's probably hitting Adderall's heavy, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think all finances.
Oh, yeah, that Nazi man.
You were a finance guy for a while.
I was a low-level finance guy for a little bit.
You were one of the top-level finance guys.
I was one of the top.
I was one of the market makers, they say. I was one of the top I was one of the the market makers
Yeah, I say I got out of that. I was making too much money
Did you did you like find any smart money plays big? Yeah big any Arbis Rogers?
Big smart money plays instead
I learned that I could use my debit card instead of my MTA card and that way I would save like a dollar a month
From buying the new card. I could just tap in.
So I was in operations.
I was very low level.
I was not making a lot of money.
I love that they got the tap to pay now.
That's kind of nice.
I've come around on it.
I do the watch.
I used to think of my card as like, oh, this is my membership
card to the city.
Now I'm a real New Yorker.
But now it's like, tap the phone.
You ever used a subway token
I have my grandpa used to sell subway tokens Greenpoint Avenue like
His own he worked for the transit. Oh, okay. Yeah, he worked in the he worked in the subways
Yeah, I don't think his hearing was ever good. I he died when I was a baby, but thank God became friends with
Kareem Abdul Jabbar's dad
who was a transit cop really yeah and he was a big boy soon he was a big fellow
Al Cinder yep mr. Al Cinder senior okay pair of thieves guys we want to mention
them there's no promo code don't mention pro last read was did you see that you
know huh they didn't we nothing
Guys summer is here and summer is hot if you're squishing when you're sitting
It's time for quick dry underwear from pair of thieves with basic underwear
You can expect sweaty soggy situation your shorts escape basic and embrace greatness
With pair of thieves quick dry underwear quick dry underwear with action flex is engineered to keep you dry fresh
and comfortable all day long the action blend fabrication
provides adaptive stretch for your greater for greater mobility
and a secure second skin fit that looks great across all
body shapes but especially across yours JP you devil
pair thieves escape basic go to pair of thieves.com today
and get 25% off your first order 25% off your first order pair of thieves.com get 25% off
your first order at pair of thieves.com thanks a lot pair of they so if they sell shirts
call it Paris leaves yeah because all their stuff is puns. I noticed. They have, I think Tom
Meyer is working 24-7 on them. And we should say Life is Shorts. Why don't you show them
the stuff, Adam? Right here we have the shorts. Yeah, it says Life is Shorts. These look incredibly
comfortable. I'll try them on. And I'll tell you what, I love that green. It is my favorite
color. Hunter Green. Hunter Green. That's why I did the office that way yeah, I do love a dark green kind of like a nice
It's like 80s home office. Yeah
Why I kind of think of like an Englishman's like a guy like you resident like a guy in the 80s
Who's like yeah?
He's made he's made a big modern edge adjusted for inflation a billion dollars
With a bachelor's degree in modern dance with a
Macintosh right yeah and then he got out of college and immediately his his
starting salary adjusted for inflation was 800 million dollars a year to
hunt it worked in the mail room right to hunt and peck on a on a typewriter on a
word processor yeah occasionally hit like command and shift and then a key
yeah right people go what do you do and he he goes, I don't know. I have no idea. I work for a payroll company
I don't know. I drive a sob. Yeah, right. I do I drive to a building in a sob
yeah, my dad my dad was in World War two and
You know, I had a bunch of unprotected sex. Yeah, and now I have billions of dollars
Yeah, that office
has that dark green it has like a nice oriental rug if we're still saying that
yeah yeah I bought a seven-bedroom house for $50,000 yeah yeah hmm is housing
gonna get any better probably not right no it has it kind of has to when the
boomers die right all that housing stock
They're not gonna die that there's they got another 30 years. Yeah
There that's the last generation that's gonna live
forever boomers are gonna live to 105 each and then
Gen X is they're all gonna start dying at 65
They're all gonna die at the same age and then then millennials probably will live to about forty two I think. Yeah yeah yeah they're all hanging on to their houses like
they got for like a coupon and they're like two point nine
million dollars now are they building you know what they
should do is put on a set of pair of thieves underwear get
out there do you do if you're if you're a construction worker.
I know you're not building houses right now because your
Genitals and anus region is too sweaty. There's a swamp situation summer time. You're saying no my I'm too wet
Your bundle is holding back the housing thing has I'm so wet right now. I can't build a house
Yeah
If you put on parathese underwear and with 25% off on their website if you go now
You can get underwear and you can start building those homes
instead of doing whatever this plan is,
we're just going to give people money for houses.
You home builders are the gooch of America.
Yeah.
Then when people get those universal basic incomes,
they'll be able to buy homes and special underwear.
Am I an idiot?
That's a bad plan, right?
To just give people money for a down payment.
Didn't they try it somewhere and it didn't work?
Well, I mean, isn't the basic idea of supply and demand
that if you don't have enough houses,
if you just give people money, it's
just going to drive up the price of the limited houses
that there already are?
I think that makes sense to me. But I don't know I don't know economics if they're capable of paying more
It's not like they're just gonna buy more houses at the same price. The prices are just gonna go up
yeah, we just need to build more homes and I think you can't do that because of
like yeah, the boomers that are like they don't they're they don't want to ruin the
The aesthetics of their subdivision
that was built in the 1970s right the by adding by adding an identical one right next door there's
a strict code from the homeowners association yeah arbor trails yeah yeah yeah if we build
these homes we're gonna have to build another chick-fil-a you don't want river oaks to be
looking like river pines because that's where the white trash live It really oh my god that really falling off a cliff
They're break-ins and River Glen is nice though. Yeah. Yeah, you see on the next door app that there are break-ins and River Oaks
Can you believe it? It used to be a family neighborhood. Like why do we why do you pay for the security to drive around?
I think they just need to rezone all the empty commercial like real estate in New York City for residential
It is yeah, that's happening now. It is
In the Empire State Building no because there's a big promise the
Buildings that the buildings that they would change over to that are all what are they called the class C buildings?
okay, and so it's buildings like this and
and a lot of them are like century a lot of them are over-leveraged.
And they're just going to get, like the bank is just
going to fucking abandon them, probably.
But to convert buildings like this to residential buildings,
you basically have to blow up a column in the middle.
Because you can't have residential housing
without two points of egress.
What's that?
Egress? Yeah, to leave if there of egress. What's that? Egress?
Yeah, to leave if there's a fire.
It's a bird.
Yeah, you need two mystical birds.
Two egress.
Yeah, yeah.
So for all of those buildings, they
would have to make an atrium, basically.
Because the Chrysler building is like art deco buildings.
They're made of stone.
They're supported from the outside,
whereas all the new skyscrapers are
like a steel structure in the interior.
And then like in different places.
Oh, I think it's just a safety thing,
is you need to have a way for, because they did,
like pre-code buildings, they didn't need to have that.
But then afterwards, they did.
Yeah.
Because there was no airflow.
But this building has a stairwell there
and a stairwell there.
So we're going to have to go through that.
No, it's in individual rooms.
Like this wouldn't be. Oh, I see in individual rooms. This wouldn't be one apartment.
This would be, they would put a hallway in the middle,
and then you would have an atrium.
I would like just an open space or open concept,
open concept, property bros style.
Kind of raise your scooter around my huge place
in the Chrysler building.
Oh my god live like big daddy
When I like was a kid, I thought people in New York like lived in the sky
Yeah, no one I know like lives on the 80th floor of anything. That's cuz all your friends are like 20 year olds
No, well, it's cuz of a bad man. I'm hanging out with like 19 year old cocaine addict. No, they're younger than that
All of Adams friends are runaways.
They're Lower East Side runaways.
He's friends with the cast of Kids,
like the reboot of Kids that they're doing now.
The HBO Max.
I kind of got kicked out of the crew,
because they found out I couldn't skate.
They were like, you're a poser.
They found out you didn't have AIDS, you just look like that.
Well, everyone's lying about their HIV status.
Yeah.
I mean, what are you going to do?
Speaking of lying about HIV statuses,
I will be at the H. Irvine Improv.
Yes.
I'll be at the Irvine Improv September.
Human Irvine disease.
Yeah.
H-I-R-V Improv.
September 19 through the 21st, there's
still plenty of tickets to be sold.
I'm also in Boston at the Wilbur Theater on September 28.
And now?
Yeah, September 28.
And yeah, we're trying to get a couple tickets left.
That same weekend, I'm going to be in London.
There are still tickets to the fourth show
we've booked on the 21st.
That's Saturday night.
Get your tickets.
It's at Bush Hall in Shepherd's Bush in London.
Bush Hall, that's a funny name.
Yeah, like.
Detroit House of Comedy November 16th, I want to say.
14th.
Look it up.
Look at my socials.
I'll be in Detroit mid-November.
Come see me.
I love Detroit.
Do you like it?
Well, actually, that's a place where people live in the sky.
Because when they try to revive Detroit post-2008,
they have all these old residential skyscrapers.
I think that's where we stay.
I did a show there with Stav, and we
stayed in one of those buildings that's like they accidentally invented hotels again where it
was like it's all Airbnbs but it's just in one apartment building that's nothing but
Airbnbs like this is a hotel but it has no like service of any kind no amenities.
That's cool. They have there's a place the Jane Hotel in New York that was for decades.
Like I think I don't know if that building in New York, that was for decades.
I think it, I don't know if that building in particular,
but it probably was.
It was like the city had all of these SROs.
Did a show there, I think, once.
At the Jane?
Yeah.
Back when there were still like ports all over lower Manhattan,
and like piers and shipping was coming in and out.
Sailors were needing a place to stay when they're on shore leave.
So they had all these SRO buildings, which were just
like really tiny rooms.
You could stay there for a nice flop house, basically.
That's what I hope comes back to New York.
And those are zoned their own kind of way.
Like, that's why they're kind of hard to get rid of.
Yeah.
I didn't live in what would technically be an SRO,
but it was like functionally the same when I lived in Chinatown,
but there was one across the street.
It's like this building was zoned to be a tenement
for families to live in this one room.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And-
Still working around that.
When the developers bought the Jane,
because they still had,
there was just heroin addicts living in these tiny rooms,
they bought most of them out, but some of them
they couldn't buy out.
So they just did the work anyways, renovated it,
turned it into this kind of like unique sort of fun hotel.
But if you stayed on like one of the floors,
there would still be like,
dry motherfucker, I'm on my fucking shit out here.
I'm not gay.
Yeah, just losing your mind.
Hey Richie, you want 60 grand to move out? Ah, this is home.
Nah!
I don't need no goddamn money.
Just a nut job.
It's got a certain community that I like.
I like the Meatpacker district.
I can see the Hudson from my room.
You can't pay for an overlook like that.
There's a hotel called the Maritime Hotel that I stayed in with my girlfriend one Valentine's
Day.
It was the Maritime shipping union's place where the sailors would go stay.
It's really nice.
They're like porthole windows.
It looks like a ship.
The Jane's kind of similar. All're like porthole windows. It looks like a ship. Yeah, the James kind of similar all of them are like
Yes ship rooms. It's like you're on the Titanic. Yeah, they really got our number any any place
I watched Titanic like six months ago, and I think I was I took some creative really good
Yeah, and then I was like sitting there. I'm like should I go on a trip on the Queen Mary too. I was like, should I have a European strip on a boat?
Alone?
Should I have a void?
I know, just thinking.
I'm like, that would be magical.
I thought it would be awesome.
You look into it, and it's like the pictures are all low res,
because if you're actually in those rooms,
everything's like shitty.
They don't take care of it.
Yeah. You know, then you pictured yourself like wearing an ascot
and like writing a manuscript aboard the ship.
It's like two months of you eating like kids cuisine and fucking going,
going to see a kosh to stand up in the basement of the ship.
You think of it as like your duck confi, sir.
Yeah, sir.
Yeah, right.
I'm going to the captain's.
It's like the IKEA fucking cafeteria.
Yeah.
Oh, guys, I want to mention something else.
I want to mention My Bookie bet on anything, anywhere, anytime.
Winning season is back.
Do you know that, JP?
Yeah.
Not for me.
Enough taking L's, guys.
It's winning s ZN
Winning season and it's your time to shine my with my bookies weekly risk-free boosts
Classic super and survivor contest cashing in has never been easier whether you're a season pro or first-time better
There's something for everyone to win big this season
Just go click go to visit my bookie to sign up for free, and you're ready to start earning.
Have you ever bet on a sports event?
No, that's just for losers.
I'm sorry.
Come on, dude.
No, we don't really have the operational capacity
to cut any.
That was just a knee-jerk reaction.
Yeah, we don't have to.
We shoot on tape now.
Well, sell me on it.
Well, here's the thing. My bookie, wellie is well JP my book is pulling out all the stops
with incredible promotions like weekly risk-free boosts on Thursday's also big
news their 50% deposit match has been up to 200% that's free money dollar casino
chip up to a thousand dollars that's free that. $10 casino chip up to $1,000.
That's free. That's free.
You don't like free?
The new promo code, by the way.
Don't fuck that up, Adam.
I'm coming around.
It just says promo.
Oh, OK.
I got it.
But that's just the beginning.
My bookie is giving away hundreds of thousands
in prizes with their Super Survivor and Squares contest.
You get your entries in now for your shot at huge cash rewards.
When you're ready to get started, use my promo code,
Adam100.
You like that?
I liked it.
Yeah, it's like Adam23, except even more.
Yeah, yeah, victims.
More victims.
Take that, Adam23.
Yeah, I have 100. You you coward.
What is that show?
He talks to like SoundCloud rappers who were like on lean
and like passing out clips, but I'm like, I don't.
Is this are they comedians or they know it's like children
who are getting into rap?
And then there's like a 40 year old man.
And then my girls who fuck rappers and athletes. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. They Yeah, he does like a only fans girls and then his wife and the other one they can
Sex sex laps of that. There's a show that just says whatever all over the back
I think the show might be called whatever those are the best shows
And those were like high value men yell at women. Yeah
Why can't we really have to know it's like
You know when you see like a clip from like like Chinese television, and you're like, I don't understand
I don't know the language. I don't yeah, I don't understand what's happening. You're watching the movement, but I've been trance
Yeah, I know I'm like what there's something here, but I don't yeah
It's mistakes are high women who have only fans go on this thing and then they yell at them
Yeah, and it's I think incredibly successful your depreciation asset. Yeah, they're like you're low value
I and I'm a high value man and you're disgusting and there's no way that those guys try to get pussy
I own four rental properties. What are you bringing to me? Yeah, that's value to my life
BNB's in Jupiter, Florida. Yeah, yeah. And he talks to them like they're
like just absolute slobs.
It's just like it's pure 1972 misogyny.
It's just like, yeah.
They don't say cunter slob, but they're basically
saying all the stuff that like Jack Nicholson says
about women in like carnal knowledge or something.
Oh, OK.
Yeah.
Which I watched this week also.
That's why you said 1972.
Yes, but the way he talks about women.
I remove the dick and balls and add a pussy.
Also a uterus.
That's as good as it gets?
I think so.
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
You guys are both good impressionists.
We got two on the show today.
Not really. Why? I mean, you're a double-backed. This guy does jazzerdick. You guys are both good impressionists. We got two on the show not really I well, I mean you're this guy does jazzle dick. I can I can
Approximately did it on the whatever show
When you're next to a girl that it was gets deeper on whatever no, it's not on what it was. Yeah
No, yeah, it hasn't been released yet
Yeah
Guys horse, but that's a big show. That would be cool millions and millions of people watch that. Yeah women getting yelled at the show
Yeah, why didn't we think of that? I have a show coming out David Goggins
Where I make women do push-ups in the mud and tell them that they're low value. Does he yell at girls, too?
I don't know if he knows a girl. I think he might just yell at guys
Yeah, he's branching out into the yelling at girls
economy of content creators. He's like, I'm sick of yelling at guys.
I'm starting to yell at these lazy women.
OK, loyalty pays off with My Bookie.
The more you play, the more you win.
It's simple.
Climb through the tiers of the loyalty rewards program.
And loyalty is an important thing, guys.
And you can unlock even more epic promotions,
exclusive giveaways, and bigger rewards.
Guys, you use my promo code Adam 100 and you go to my bookie dot com.
Use my code.
You get 50% off and it's been upgraded to 100% off deposit match up to a thousand
dollars like Nick mentioned that.
And that also includes a $10 casino chip guys, bet on anything, anywhere,
anytime my bookie
That's right, that's fucking right that's right. That's fucking right anywhere anytime so you're voting for Trump you're saying
Well since he you know since the RFK endorsement yeah, I couldn't I was waiting I was holding out on that one
I don't think I'm voting this on that one. I don't think I'm voting this time around. I don't care.
I'll probably vote.
I'll go because the voting place is literally right down the street.
I don't live in Queens anymore, but if I was still there,
I would definitely go on election day
and vote for whatever Chinese guy is running.
Like there's always whenever in my district.
I lived in Chinatown. Those ballots were amazing.
Yeah. That's real words.
As you go down the ticket it's just getting
crazier and crazier it's just like the happy success party it's like yeah happy success party
sounds good right yeah no i mean you get to the last one and it's like you know there's like a
glitch in pokemon it's all just it looks like a qr there was a guy on the ballot in my district
in queens one time who was literally running in the red dragon party
so
Is this a gang?
You had to vote for him. I had too much of a crush on aoc at the time. It's like I you're an absolute
Aoc because I love you, but I
I've missed my chance to vote for the red. That's why you're not a high value man
Yeah, you know like you get confused. Well, we officially endorsed Jill Stein here at the Adam Friedman
Yeah, the only Jewish candidate running chiropractor now that anti-semitism is removed all of the other Jewish candidates
It's scary actually these days. Jill Stein is the only candidate we can be sure will stand up for Israel
Yes, yeah, I agree
Wait, isn't she like anti-israel? Is it you the one that's the joke? I see
Yes. Yeah, I picked up on that
They yeah, the only candidate
Yeah, it's Donnie T. Donnie T bends over pretty far for Israel RFK, too
Yeah, but everything Donald Trump does is so cynical that you can't get mad at him for it
Yeah, he's like we should let them open gas chambers and kill all.
And then you're like, he's just trying to get money from Jewish people.
From Maryam. Yeah, he's not even he loves Maryam
Addison's. Yeah, she's got because he's not even he's not even really pro genocide.
He's as much as he is just like whatever such a self serving.
You know what I mean? To keep me out of jail.
Yeah, right, exactly.
You can't, like, that makes sense.
Is that the wailing wall?
Yeah, right.
Somberly.
Whenever he talks about how much he likes the Bible,
it's always like, I'm the Bible.
It's just the best.
Yeah, I'm a deeply religious person.
Yeah.
It's like so clearly not true.
I would love to find out he has like a deeply nuanced interpretation of the Bible and actually is a very deep
Yeah, biblical thinker. Yeah, he like doesn't like the book of Matthew, but he likes job
I haven't read the New Testament is any good New Testament site. It's I it's kind of the same thing
All this is dumb as dumb as shit
Catholics don't really use the Bible baby very much much I didn't read the Bible a lot growing up. What did they make you read?
There was like these little booklet fucking things in the in the church pews the missile
What you read little I think I guess was Bible stories, but what's your favorite story from the Bible? Oh
I just read about a good one the other day good one
Huh Maybe like Jacob and Esau because it was weird
that's Old Testament though like Isaac Isaac eyes no cuz Jacob and Esau are the
brothers Isaac is the blind dad and he's like go hunt a fucking calf for me or
something and I'll give you a blessing didn't the wrong brother does it the
smooth boy the other Esau's hairy Jacob is real and that's where they said Muslims come from Esau's all right I think ish
male comes from ish man yeah so he felt his son's he feels that he but his son
the smooth son puts like a lambskin over his his hand to like feel hairier and he
feels the furries like I know you're bullshitting me but I'll give you the
blessing anyway so he lies and then he's still the good guy in the story. Yeah for some reason he still doesn't make any sense
I just like picturing the guy and like cloaking himself in a sheep's sheep's wool
Yeah, that's funny. I just watched the Northman. I don't know that reminded me of it cuz they saw the first Vikings of it was pretty good
But I was just shocked that there and I there's I saw an article about it because I literally looked it up
I'm like, how is it possible that I did not see anyone's penis in this movie?
right, you know what I mean if there's ever been a movie where it's just like
Here's some guys cock
That's it
You know what I mean? Dixon Amistad, but not in the Northman. There's none. No, there's fucking none
How shocking is that those guys it's about a Viking slave? Yeah
It's like is there a VG can you imagine a better recipe for seeing somebody's penis?
Than a Viking slave. Did you write a review like an Amazon review i did you know i wrote a letter you're right
her an angry letter my friends that asked about he's like how do i submit a
review
it's not that you had a male it's a bargain for a m for a product on
amazon here mister bezos
i have a few points about the northmen, the lack of penises in the Northmen,
and some dialogue notes about Marvel's Mrs. Bezos.
I'm finally ready to admit that I like the witch a lot as well.
I haven't seen the witch.
I always thought there was something missing about it.
But I ended up, I think I've said this before,
I've watched the witch probably 10 times.
And every time I do, it's because I'm like, oh, I
want to watch The Witch again.
And every time it ends, I'm like, what
did I want that's not in there?
And I can't identify it.
And it's just, oh, I just like this movie.
But upon the 10th viewing, you've come around.
You like it.
It's good.
You realize you just like it.
Yeah, I just like it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think sometimes I'll confuse something ending that I enjoy
with me not liking it because you want it to keep going.
Yeah, it's like my dad and Avatar one. Yeah. Yeah.
My dad had to live.
My dad had the Avatar impression. Yeah.
He got sad when it was over.
I kind of feel that. Yeah. Yeah. That world is so sick.
Yeah. He was like, it's 3D.
It's blue.
It's way sicker than this one.
You could do that Tarzan thing where
you slide on trees and stuff.
It's very cool.
How about Avatar, but there's an accent over the Tar part.
And then it's Lydia Tar.
Yeah, she's blue.
She's blue.
Living in a world of.
She's blue.
She can talk to Ann Harvie Wein. Yeah. Yeah, I like it.
Have you seen that movie? No, but I understand it's like a meditation on power.
It's so good. That's it's also kind of just like a one build up to one punchline.
Kind of like Phantom Thread is kind of like that, too, where there's just one punchline
at the end. That's what the whole point of the podcast called Tartok.
And it's two guys from Boston that just discussed the movie welcome back to the show Tards
yeah like they have merged our nation yeah yeah
kata's get your merch at npr.com slash shit slash shit to buy you fucking idiot
I saw long legs that was a piece of shit. Yeah, that's
Not a good movie, and I'm shocked. I'm shocked it like
The reaction to it. It's like about how rock and roll
Infiltrates the American family and like degrades like why why is that the message?
What it's like is me I don't even think it's about about that It's just like this devil worship about being too damn tall
It's but it's I was hoping it would be yeah, and it's by the way
It's never explained why he says I put my long legs on oh, he's not even he doesn't he's not tall legs
No, yeah, very little about his character is explained
It's smacks of like there were budget issues with the movie there are problems working with Nick Cage and it's like we just kind of slapped this together and made something
out of it.
He is kind of the best actor.
I felt like completely disengaged almost the entire time.
Yeah, I was trying to find something in it and it wasn't there. I should have disengaged.
I think what set me off is I watched it and I was like, oh, this is fine. And then people
were, I saw people saying that this is the new Silence and I was like, oh, this is fine. And then I saw people saying that this
is the new Silence of the Lambs.
It's not even close.
And I'm like, that is.
It's so directly taped from Silence of the Lambs.
Well, of course.
That's what I mean.
It's like, this is either, charitably, an homage.
Yeah.
It's the new copying movie that Hollywood comes out with.
It comes nowhere close.
And plus other tropes, plus other horror tropes, like the pizzicato violin when someone's I love that. It's great. I love being programmed to do that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.
I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.
I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.
I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.
I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.
I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I watch it whenever it's on. Yeah. That's really good. Yeah, I got I have cable. So I just let the TV decide what to put on. I love that. It's great. I love being programmed
to. Yeah, because then you end up watching stuff that you'll like you just would never
think to put on again. Yeah. Like watching 45 minutes of phone booth. And then you just
hit people with phone booth references. That's like, wow, you must really like phone booth.
I like that.
Forest Whitaker is talking to him, and he's like,
you know, a guy the other day, he pulled out something
we thought was a gun.
We shot him.
Turned out to be a little Bible.
Yeah.
In the original script, it was called Toilet.
And it was all about Colin Farrell's in a porta potty.
He was taking a shit.
It was Leslie Nielsen first.
It was actually, it was called Speed 3 Toilet.
If one man stops shitting, a bomb in his school goes off.
Yeah, Keanu Reeves has a very thin turd.
He's like, I'm making my ass as tiny as I can.
Keep bringing me coffee.
If I stop shitting, the bomb will go off.
Yeah. That's so funny. I haven't seen a speed movie in a while. If I stop shitting the bomb will go on yeah
That's
Yes kind of paint by numbers joke speed three
Is for me is that the TV you have a TV in a hotel and so I just 30 some odd channel It's gonna be a telly over there. Oh
In the UK? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know where I'm saying it.
You're going to have to plug it in a weird way.
Yeah.
The channel is going to be on the left side of the remote
instead of the right.
Really?
Volume on the other side.
There's going to be nothing to watch, but period dramas
and bad game shows.
Mr. Bean.
Improv-based game shows.
I think they have good game shows.
Do they?
I like that they have eight out of 10 shows. They have panel shows with like comedians their chat shows with comics. Those are good
Yeah, that's like a lane in comedy there where you can like just be yeah crush it on panel shows
Sam Sam is like big on panel shows there now
Morrill yes
You both looked at me in a way that indicates that it was a difference what if the Queen got fucked
Yeah, no that I think and they're always like like Sam Hyde Sam Hyde is big on the chat shows
Yeah, are they still having riots for like?
White people versus Muslim people are arresting that I don't know if they passed the did they pass a law that lets them just arrest people for tweets or did is it just doing
it's always been yeah but now they're just doing speech yeah
yeah they're they arrested some lady that's like a I don't know
she's too each about Palestine yeah and then like people I mean
it's insane to me I you know I can't I mean I just look at
Twitter and I said I can't I don't have all of the contacts
but that's an absolute no I know I can't I mean I just
look at Twitter and I say I can't I don't have all of the contacts but that's what happens. You'll see people
saying like this is a Travis and as an American I'm like well there has to be it's like yeah she
tweeted this but she also that's one of the tweets we're not seeing she said I'm gonna kill the queen
at 5 p.m. at this time something where it's like, okay
You said maybe there's a detail you're leaving out here
But I don't see that and then you see all these people being like well
Then maybe you shouldn't tweet something that'll get you arrested
It's like well that argument works again
I could pass the law saying you're not allowed to wear a red shirt and then if you get arrested you say I should
Be able to wear a red shirt. It's like well, maybe just don't wear a red shirt
It's not an
argument in favor of the law you just yeah saying don't they're just saying
that's what the law is yeah right just accept it yeah I don't know that's not
they were the first to really go nuts with the surveillance state yeah like
cameras everywhere they were the first to wire up all of London with CCT yeah
yeah yeah remember that they're not and then we don't even do that here it's
just like you many guys putting security cameras
in bodegas yeah and then they cut the Huthies are kind of responsible for the
New York surveillance state a lot of people realize that yeah you ever do
that you ever go to your corner store and there's like fucking the homicide
detectives in there and they're like yeah you'll see that where the homicide
detectives are just like go back go, go back. They're looking at the sidewalk. Yeah, they're like watching the cameras.
They're like, go back again. I was in an Uber a couple months ago and the guy had like a
like a tablet, like one of those Samsung Galaxy, like, but it's just like a,
you know, a newspaper size. And it was like an active like zoom call between like 12 guys that were all like like I think
they're Yemeni guys and they're all like whispering conversation or not even talking to each other.
It was like the Brady Bunch like squares and then he gets like a message like right away
and then he maximizes just a camera from I guess his friends deli and it's just two girls
buying a vape.
But I assume he was like,
yo, check it out, there are two girls at my store.
There's girls here.
Tap in, there are girls.
Yeah. So he was just watching two girls buying
a vape or cigarettes or something.
Just like longing.
Yeah. Just like, oh, how's that rough?
Yeah. My girlfriend was like,
are you fucking seeing this?
So I was telling Nick before,
I worked at this day job for a couple
Of years recently where I was like selling equipment to like security system installers
Oh really and it was guys like they set up cameras and shit like that and a guy
took a shit in our parking lot like a guy just pulled in like four o'clock in the morning took a shit like right in front of
our door and
But the guys at this place they knew how to use all the equipment and shit
Yeah, and I track it down.
So we were able to find it on the security footage,
catch this guy in the act.
He used his work van.
So his company name and phone number were on the van.
And we got in contact with this guy's boss.
Did you feel like a detective?
It was pretty awesome.
And I was pissed. It was pretty awesome.
I was pissed.
It was pretty great.
And it was also very funny at the same time.
We tracked this guy down and got him on the phone.
It was like in a true crime podcast
where you get the actual suspect on the phone or something.
This is what we've been working toward the whole time.
My friend from high school, I think
he was working as the manager of a gas station.
And there was a homeless guy living on the roof and they were like,
you can't. They're like, you can't let this guy live on the roof.
He's like, he's crazy, dude. I don't want to.
So he's like, dude, can you come down?
And then the guy like spaz out on him and then ran away.
Yeah. I think he like, like, like assaulted him and then ran away.
And he went to his car the next day and there was just poop
like on every single handle of his car the next day and there was just poop like
on every single handle of his car a targeted attack it's like it's like hobo
coach you have to like he's just now has beef with like a yeah the hobo and
you're gonna lose every time that guy's got nothing to lose trying to be
reasonable he was like dude my boss just he doesn't want you like living on the roof. Oh, your boss, you listen to
our boss, right? Swarmer, right? Swarmer. Pussy. He's just
Charles man. Yes. throwing poop at you like a baboon. Helter
Skelter. That's those guys have nothing to lose. So you're
going to lose that every time you kind of have to offer them
a trinket or something. If they won't leave if they're on your
roof, they won't leave. You got to offer them something. Yeah,
let you go around with like, uh doubloons and stuff for homeless people yeah give them
a galley ancient runes yeah toss them some coins maybe a ruby oh my god i think anima is that our time
i think that's our time nick is uh I think he's going number three right now.
Did you ever use that? I never used number three. I tried to start that in high school.
I was like guys we got to start calling Jacken off number three. Yeah. Yeah. It makes perfect sense.
You really didn't pick guys start that in your group of friends. Everyone's going to think you're available on the website.
Yeah. Number three merch available. Go see Nick and Irvine. Go see me in London. Go see JP in Detroit.
Thanks a lot for listening, guys.
Ta-ta.