The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Luis J Gomez - Episode 57

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Luis J Gomez - Episode 57 See Nick in Spokane: https://www.spokanecomedyclub.com/events/89178 See Luis on tour: https://luisofskanks.com/#tours Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tafs Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/tafs/ -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #luisjgomez

All right welcome to the Adam Friedland show podcast it is June 6 D-Day ladies and gentlemen hmm 74-78 70 some cup a long time ago today Can I try to guess America finally you know a D-Day is like I'm trying to I'm trying to recall what D-Day is Oh really yeah, yeah, it's something to do with World War two. It's World War two You know what D-Day is. I'm trying to recall what D-Day is. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. It's something to do with World War II.

It's World War II. It was a day America finally said no to fascism in Europe. OK. Did we land on a beach? We landed on a beach with the Canadians and the British. That's probably a nice little time. We landed at Omaha Beach. Really?

Here at Omaha. And the other ones are? White sand? Gold Beach, I think, is one of them. Sounds beautiful. Beach really here at Omaha and the other ones are white sand Gold Beach, I think is one of them sounds beautiful. That was the one I think that was the one the Canadians stormed and they got like fucked up dude Yeah, yeah, cuz the Germans in World War two the Germans their best weapon They had a machine gun that fires like it's still I think no machine guns fire as fast as that one the mg44 I think no machine guns fire as fast as that one the mg-44 mmm, and

Yeah, they've got off those boats and there's like I mean, it's like a chainsaw that reaches a thousand feet and just mowing down Yeah, they had literally the South Park Yeah, but a respect to all of our Lewiswis is here arm on back in the gym so i'm now also sort of like a veteran coded social media guy i feel like we're both sort of veteran coded social media presences yeah where's we're not really veterans and if there is a veteran that exists

on we respect all veterans unless they criticize donald trump in which case they're probably stealing valor. Let's look through all their men They're probably not real veterans if they're criticizing the great. Yeah. Yeah And we'll attack them We'll go after them and threaten them and report them to the VA for health care fraud and just try to destroy their lives in general But try to get them hooked on drugs. I give them the first The first hit free uh-huh like an after-school special I'll go to veterans like do you like Trump like now like there's some heroin. There's a guy like that

There's a guy that's gotten popular on Twitter because or like he's he's gained followers Since the the current excursion into Gaza Because he's like a former like army ranger who like he just posts videos combat videos And he's like look at everything the IDF is doing wrong and he like criticizes them criticized the war and stuff and then he earned the ire of like one of these like Trump conservative guys who's very much veteran-coded and he starts accusing the guy of like stealing valor very much veteran-coded and he starts accusing the guy of like stealing valor mmm and saying oh look he's and then immediately the guy like just immediately stepped in it because the first guy just posts his I guess they give you like a

report card when you leave the army yeah that's like yeah here's everything you did here's he's like so this is it this proof that I'm not lying about any of this and he's like yeah but look there's a picture where your your badge is crooked I don't think an army guy would do that and this guy's like now just doubling down He thought he had this guy on a gotcha. Yeah, and now he's chasing it to the bitter end Meanwhile, he's just like a guy that owns a siding company and has a tribal tattoo He's not a veteran at all. Just yeah, he's just like a grifter that that job. I don't really care if people steal valor I know no issue with it at all. I used to steal valor when I was in high school

Yeah, that's what I mean by this is a veteran coated. Yeah, of course I what I you're talking to a future US Army soldier Well, I used to work at hot topic and they used to sell at hot topic when I was in high school they sold a Nazi army jacket like it was a straight-up it was an army jacket and it had a German flag on the shoulder Yeah, yeah, it's just a hot topic or corporate and I remember I was like that jacket and I had that jacket So it had a swastika. No, no, no swastika and I had an iron cross Yeah, and no it had just a German flag. Yeah, but that's not a Nazi flag. That's just no it was that's what it was though

I mean foot that's what they were going for flag that's just no it was that's what it was though I mean that's what they were going for well no it was the only the only flag on anything they're like you don't remember how they did Nazis did not use the the current German flag I know it wasn't literally a Nazi but I'm just saying with the aesthetic of this jacket was Nazi it was right after the I think that That's that's that's do show phobic. That's do it should do it. You're phobic. Do it. You're phobic. Yes.

Do it. You're phobic to say to just call all Nazis. Not know at now today. Yes. But at the time, I think the most important thing that people miss during World War 2 is being very careful to separate anti-Nazism from anti-German,

you know, sentiments. I just we I assume that everyone was for the cause in Germany It wasn't Hitler like loved he was a beloved character. He was like a fun guy like people were really into his shit, dude He was like Shane Gillis back then. Yeah. Yeah, he's a really good sellout anything dude. He was fucking yeah. Yeah Yeah, I don't really know too much about Hitler to be honest with really well cuz they you he's had such an iconic look You know that you see him, and you're like I get it you give up I know everything about this guy. I don't the mustache the haircut I really this night what can you possibly tell me about this guy that I can't assume on my own

I don't really know much about it either. You just you're right. He is I think he's probably pretty misunderstood I bet you he had I never said I bet you I never said Hitler was misunderstood It's not a claim that I made that's not what I said No, I'm just saying there's probably positive aspects of him if we're being honest. Yeah, right He had his best day. He had the sweetest thing that he ever did there was romantic moment There is a criticism of Germans because Germans is a German expression for it and that I think it's it compete you probably know this like it from Nuremberg there's a German expression that means like we didn't know we had no idea yeah it's something like that

because the defense was we were just doing our jobs for the soldiers but then for the regular German civilians it's like we had no idea they don't know they didn't know what's happening if you you're a fucking Berlin urbanite, of course you know what's happening. But there's guys that were just making goat milk in the foothills. You don't think they knew, you don't think it got to them? I don't think the illiterate goat milkers knew.

And they're just there, and then suddenly there's American soldiers putting you in jail, and you're like, what the fuck is America? What are you talking, what the fuck is America? What did I do they're like you killed all the Jews and you're like what are you talking about? What are you talking about? I make hot chocolate. I don't understand why me and my big titted wife make hot chocolate I don't know how to read You know what I mean like it is plausible probably were a few people that got the cause some strays that were trying to

live their German field life I saw I saw a couple of videos on on Twitter recently of like Israeli civilians like maybe being like maybe we won't win this one you know we'll see like based on social media and making videos like we have no idea they're not telling us what's going on over there it see like based on social media and making videos like we have no idea. They're not telling us What's going on over there? It's like come on this time. It's different Yeah, you have the same you have the same tick-tock. We all do we it is sad my algorithm though It doesn't show me any of it I turn away from it as soon as they try to show me like dying babies

I start just clicking on Conor McGregor space cats. Yeah anything to get me away from all the hate Yeah, just blind myself to mine is all and it's curated. I edit the videos. It's all just Gaza footage set the cannibal corpse That's all that's all I'm consuming 20 I put it by I have a playing on the oculus and I just as I I don't go to my eyes don't close when I sleep Yeah, yeah, so it's just all of that and then I wake up and I come here It's I go who the fuck left easy Mac out Who the fuck ate half a book who the fuck eats a couple of bites of an easy Mac container and leaves it out They left it out. No, this is hypothetical. This is where I'm at though my life though. I'm I'm like doing keto again

I'm trying to be single. So I'm trying to get back in shape. Yeah, and I get crazy But now I will do that like I'm like did I really want to'm trying, I'm newly single so I'm trying to get back in shape and I get crazy but now I will do that. Like I'm like dude I really wanna try a bite of macaroni and cheese. So I would take one bite and then just throw it out. Yeah, I'm back in the gym. And then an hour later go into the garbage and start eating it out of the garbage.

Now I'm doing old man workouts. I use body wraps, I go in like a mummy and I'm just completely stiff. Really? Yeah and then I go. What are you doing in the gym? I get in the squad rack and I do one one one max rep one. Max. My answer. 850 pounds.

I go down an inch and then I come back up and then I'm done. And then I just spent, I spent the next 45 minutes, just mean mugging people with my flame beanie on while I take off all my wraps. I'm just covered head to toe. Sometimes I pass out. Yeah. And then I'm just on the floor in the gym for hours and hours and hours. Nobody says anything. Nobody cares.

You're Nick Mullen. You're Nick fucking Mullen. I go in the gym, they say, hey, give that guy a wide berth. Yeah. He knows what he's doing. He's fucking. You knew who that guy is?

That guy knows what he's doing. And I'm covered in the German flag. And I'm like, what what your problem? It's Germany. It's a country. It's a different. Yeah, it's a different flag Dude it really was the time from 97 to 99 at hot topic it was right after Columbine I don't know what year it was but like they would start selling It'd be cool to get a job at hot topic now, and you're in there and cost your first day customers come in You're like yeah, about this genocide the Jews

are doing over and they're like what the fuck are you doing you're like oh I misunderstood the title of the store I was confused as to what this job also you're completely nude I'm like that's another I thought you would give me a uniform when I came in I apologize it's my first it's my first time do you have water I was gonna change out the we do as you can see we have the five gallon things but the the fucking the we got to swap the I forgot this what we need to swap one of those five gallon jugs absolutely from there can from there. Nick Mullen gym style. Yeah dude, this is fucking, this is mullen sized. I have in a wheelbarrow, I have an outdoor propane tank

filled with water every time I go to the gym. And I've got, yeah. That's how I let my blunt's, I have a full propane tank and I just fucking, oh thanks dude. Dude, he's huge. Those cups might be huge those cups might be Those cups might be a little dirty. There might be there might be one might be clean There might be spiders in them. Yeah, but you never know dude. It's fine. I don't know

I think you have to you considering considering some of the freaks They've interviewed on the show and I think they drink out of that cup. Oh really that might have Bob Balaban sperm Yeah, yeah, Tim. That's yeah, young, young, hot Latino sperm. When do you think he's gonna start kill fucking children? Is he at that level yet? No, I think that he got famous very quickly, so I think that he's probably afraid to lose it, so I think it's gonna be after he loses it. I'm telling you, we gotta do a podcast where we just speculate on our more successful friends' careers.

Yeah. Where we're telling, here's what they should do. We act like we have some kind of insight. Oh, give them advice? Yeah, even though we fail. I asked Shane for a million dollars the other day in a very serious way. He told me how much money he made in just a couple shows. I was like, oh dude, can I just have a million dollars the other day in a very serious way. He told me how much money he made in just a couple of shows. I was like,

Oh dude, can I have a million dollars? And I was like, in a way I was like, and he was like, no. And like for me, Hold on. You said in a very serious way. I wasn't, I wasn't kidding. I wasn't saying like, Oh, like tongue in cheek, like, Oh, give me a million dollars. It wasn't like, can you invest a million dollars in this venture? No, no, no, no. I said, give me one million dollars. I'll do with it what I want. And was just like now straight up no and like one million dollars to

him is literally like a thousand dollars to me yeah and if one of my friends that was in pain came to me and it was just serious was like hey dude can I get a thousand dollars I swear to God I'd give it to him yeah but you think about the tax overhead there what do you mean well he would have to do the taxes on that for you. First of all, they tax him on it and you. No, it's tax. So it isn't a tax free up to like twenty nine million dollars. Five thousand dollars. No, it's isn't a life for an individual. I think an individual gift from one per year. Thirty five thousand dollars. Yeah. Oh, I I think I don't know $29 million over your lifetime you're allowed to here's how little money that actually is right if Shane who's net worth now I think is eight hundred billion dollars. I think that's what if we bet that's not a lot of money

You can't really do a lot with eight hundred billion dollars What are you gonna do become the biggest? Go on Twitter and make your own spaceship Did you see there was a space lawn? There was a spaceship launched yesterday? They spent sent three astronauts up in a Boeing in a Boeing space liner Can you imagine the nuts on those guys to get into a Boeing? Spaceship right now? How many Boeings went there?

There's a bunch of them that went down, right? I think like, yeah, 12 planes. We were talking about thousands of people dead. The majority of them in Africa and Malaysia. So it took like nine planes going down before people were like, wait a minute. They even noticed. 8,000 Africans are dead. Is that bad?

That seems wrong. And then there was an investigator. There's whistleblowers that came forward. And now Boeing is just killing all of the whistleblowers. They're all dying of like, oh yeah, he just died suddenly out of nowhere. And now they have a spaceship? Have you ever known anyone that's died suddenly. I don't know where and now they have a spaceship who and have you ever known anyone that's died suddenly I mean, I guess I've known two people in my life that died of brain aneurysms

I guess that kind of counts as dying suddenly, but everybody else it's like There's either a freak accident or cancer father. Yeah, but he got stabbed to death. That's sudden. I know it's sudden, but I mean Very sudden it's a sudden as it comes. I mean the assassination kind of like yeah, I don't know is like natural causes. He was 38 years old to triathlete His bris had exploded naturally no, I don't know sitting there. You're not like scanners and it just exploded I You know I think I guess what I'm asking is you know anybody that's been assassinated by Hillary Clinton No, I don't know Don't they have a gun that can give you a heart attack a heart attack or attack which I would imagine is just a regular gun if you pulled out a gun

Probably die maybe yeah, you wouldn't even have to pull the trigger. There's got to be tons of weapons like that I've had too many pizzeria pretzel combos I wish you know my body can't handle the stress of being they should make a Possibly losing my ridge wallet. They should make it into a criminal to the fucking ridge wallet. Are they your sponsor? They are we have a read for them and they're awesome now. They're great We've been working with them for so long you guys too. Yeah, well now they dropped me you could just email Sean Oh, well, I would come because I complained about losing multiple ridge wallets in the slots where the seat belt goes in an uber You lose everything in there everything falls into the fucking space in between you can't blame that

It's like the Ridge wallet was designed. It's like a coin slot It's the same shape it happens to me in my car all the time because I had just carry way too much shit in my pocket The wallet will fall out first in between share and I'm go god damn it almost getting driving It's the same shape. It happens to me in my car all the time because I just carry way too much shit in my pocket. The wallet will fall out first in between the chair and I'm like, oh god damn it, I almost got into an accident. While you're driving, yeah. While I get, and I pull it out

and I put it in the center console and then my keys immediately afterwards. My lighter, the amount of time that I spend like trying to reach in between. And I'll never just put it all in. And my hand is jammed and I'm like, dude, I do so much when I drive, I drive so dangerously. It's crazy.

Yeah. I don't, my insurance was up to my insurance I learned how to shift with my anus so I don't need I just sit in the middle of the car and then have things fall out they fall out under the seats and drive stick so it's just fun yeah yeah constantly I'm just moving my hips it's sort of a Latin style of driving Yeah, the Ricky Martin, you know you get in there the living Vita loco They should have they should bring Ricky Martin Can you imagine that it's just the credits and then there's a bunch of like 13 year old Latino boys Just waiting to see like who they're adding to the movies He's driving with his left hand With his asshole on the ship

Ricky Martin he's got this stick up his ass Oh fuck Living la vida loca Do you drive stick? Yeah You can? Yeah You're a fucking man

I can drive everything dude You're a real man dude I can fly a helicopter Woodwork? Yeah I can do woodworking You can do woodwork, you can drive stick It's weird because as a kid, it too when you get when you get into like adult malehood Yeah, is that a word male adulthood?

I remember being like 20 and I'm like cuz my dad can do so if he can build stuff he can like he's like A like master craftsman he can like build like you know Like he'll have an idea of furniture in his head. I've seen the guy, he's crazy. He can like, he can hold projects in his head with like fucking like 500 cuts and just like just, oh okay, just build it. I mean, I don't know the first step in building a table. Like the first, I don't even know at all. Do you carve it out of a tree? Do you have to find a giant tree?

He never showed me any of this. Never, like never. And I remember being 20, I'm, well, how do you like know? It's like oh you just do it. You just like go out go buy shit buy tools and teach yourself how to do things Yeah, I wish I would have learned how to do like that type of shit. I would you still can it's not hard I probably can I'm 42 years old. It's a little late to learn carpentry. No No, just build something start with a small project What do you suggest give me the project you think I should build?

Project something utility not I were not a home home home made sauna. I don't think that was probably a bad idea on your behalf Pete did you know about this? He tried to build his own son almost burnt his house. I didn't try to build my own son. That's not true. I Rent it when I first moved to New Jersey. The pandemic. I rented a house. It was a little house. And I was like, I remember as I was leaving, I did not build. I did not try to build my own sauna. And then here comes a story in which he built tried to build his own sauna. No, I was about to leave and I was

like, Oh, look at the garage. And then I looked in the garage in the back of the garage, there was already a pre, it was like the beginning of a homemade sauna. So they already have the foundation. It was a shed, a shed, with tools in it. There was a closet. A pile of wood and some nails. Yeah, there was a closet.

I'm like, all that's missing is fire. You can just start a fire and put rocks on top of it. And it's a sun. It's already started. Shit. Dude, I just start a fire in a closet. Oh fuck. No dude, it was already pre-constructed and I bought the heating unit for it and then the electricity for the... The reason they never finished it was because it wasn't wired correctly or whatever It was and I kept on trying I kept on just trying to do it and I kept on just shutting down the power to my House over and over and over again. Yeah, and yeah, but that was it. It wasn't that bad I had a girl who almost fucking burned down my house. She caught me. She wouldn't like my DMs We're dating and she me like doing pretty mild shit

by the way for my standards like just whatever and Yeah, she fucking cut the cord to my refrigerator while it was still plugged in almost killed herself Never been awesome. I didn't really even care about it that much. I just come home to a dead chick Yeah, oh my god. This is just an that much. I just come home to a dead chick. Yeah, it's just an inconvenience Stupid wait like what is it? I drove my keys into the side Like that's your version of that is like oh, I'm gonna make him have to call the landlord Yeah, she's like well. I mean I think she thought she was like really getting me by like cutting off my like food supply Oh, yeah, she was a fat fuck. Yeah. Yeah, just warm food, right? It's gonna be easy Mac for you from here

Yeah, are we at Ridge Wallet we are not we are not at Ridge Wallet promoting time sometimes like well Well, we'll like rapidly go through stuff and there's something like oh I wanted to touch on that and then I forget it And then like it just derails me because then the next like five minutes of conversation somebody will talk I'm like, yeah, right, right, right Like what the fuck was that thing and then I finally remember it and it's nothing. No, it's never anything good I think it had something to do with Nazi Germany. It's alright. Yeah, it's okay. Not too Germany. I feel like This this space you've been to Germany. No, yeah, I'd like to go When we started making enough money to like travel

and stuff. Oh yeah, I guess it's like, yeah, the tax thing. Cause I really wanted to demonstrate this point. Here's why Shane can't give you a million dollars. Why he can't just hand me a million dollars. He can't hand you a million. He can afford the taxes. Whatever you're about to say, he could also afford the taxes. Yeah, but you can't afford the taxes. I can. He can pay my taxes. Asking him for a million dollars is actually asking for like 10 million dollars. Cause you need a million right off the bat to pay the CPA to figure out the taxes of Gifting someone a million dollars you got to pay the taxes on it. No, it's five hundred thousand I mean, well, it's like probably two hundred and fifty thousand. Yeah, so a quarter million

And that's not an ex business. I want to let me make this clear. I want a tax-free million Yeah, so whatever that means like, you know where you can just get win for life if he gives me two grand a week For life, that's also pretty cool. It does seem a little I'm happy for Shane, but the Disparity in the amount of money he's making that seems wrong. It seems unfair. You should be making more money than us Yeah twice as much. I'll say right exactly I'll give him three times as much time much but this level of money that he's making No, we gotta stop it if he got shot by like a fucking Well some Libyan guy in an airport they give me one million dollars tax-free. I'll kill sure

I don't have one million dollars tax free. I don't have that I can't do that Well, Shane's gonna live and keep my taking off our ticket sales. No, it's more than the ticket sales. He's got his hands in other pockets now. It's crazy, dude. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I'm sponsored by- And then people that are rich and so, because I see it- I'm sponsored by Hostess now.

They're giving me $800 billion to eat a Twinkie on camera. I don't even like Twinkies. It's like Twinkies are gay, dude, he spits it out. They just gave me a bonus for that He threw out the first pitch at a Phillies game. You know much they paid him for that. They paid him for it now 500 million Yeah, that's nothing in but it is wild cuz I can then you think about like Rogan like Rogan is like Rogan is encroaching on the amount of money that guy has made off

podcasting is like, this is what people make off- People could catch me though, if I was that rich, you could catch me on a day and be like, do you give me a million tax free? I swear to God, I'd start just giving out millions tax free. If I was Rogan rich, Rogan rich, one person per week would get $1 million tax free. Yeah. See, the thing is, I know I'll never be that, because I don't want that.

But it's also, all those guys that continued working, as soon as we were making $5,000 a month on Comptown, I was like, a quick comedy. I'm not doing shit. You're never going to see me. I'm like, oh my god. I'm done. You literally just started touring a year ago. You've been touring this whole time? Oh, yeah, of course. You're being in see me. I'm like, oh my God. I'm done. You literally just started touring like a year ago.

You've been touring this whole time? Oh yeah, of course. You've been in theaters right now? Oh yeah, I've been doing it. I don't know if I'd be in theaters, but I certainly have a lot more money. But yeah, I just don't, I don't really actually want to do anything. I know. And then Shane's always like, just keep going.

That's as he says, he's like, you gotta just keep going. He's like, other things happen to other people, like they just don't. He's like, the SNL thing happened, and he kept going, the SSNL thing happened to me. Well, I guess I would have had to keep going. I would have killed myself. The second I had enough money to not do anything, you would literally.

That's where I fantasize about retiring. I fantasize about leaving public life all the time. So that's the thing, if I hit it like one of those guys, then I think I would, but then I go, well no, then what gives me the anxiety about public life, I wouldn't really give a fuck about anymore if I had that much money. If I would genuinely just buy myself a fucking island,

it wouldn't matter, I think I would just, then it would probably even be more fun to create. I think being in the middle is like an anxiety inducing sort of position. Yeah. And hopefully that's an eye opener and all you fucks that work at the post office or whatever you do. So you understand how what it's like to be in the middle. In the goddamn middle of comedy. It sucks dude. It sucks dick dude. You gotta build your own sauna. You gotta fucking burn down your house trying to make your own sauna. Oh shit. It's well that's the thing you think it's enough right?

But if you would have told me when I was... Because it is annoying because then these these cock suckers they do complain they're like these guys all they gotta do is talk for two hours a week and they get millions of dollars and I'm like, brother, we're in the same boat. I'm complaining about the other guy that does that that gets billions of dollars. It's crazy, dude. Hundreds of billions of dollars. It's crazy. It's too much. It's too much money.

It's the... And it do something cool with it. And every time I see the Matt and Shane podcast, and I can't even watch anymore. It pisses you off. Shane's got all this fucking money and then they do the podcast with his fucking, just like in the shittiest living room

you've ever seen in your entire life. I got just, this part, the shitty, the shitty, the shitty TV that doesn't turn on. You're struggling to pay the rent here. His fake fireplace. It looks like a Chinese restaurant. Oh fuck. There's a cat doing this yeah, yeah Good for them though. I know good guys. Yeah, you know this is happening to good guys That's the that's the part that grinds my piss you off cuz they're not ever you wish you could hate them

Well, yeah, exactly it could be like you know it should have it should be for bad people Yeah, it should be like all the LA comics. We all love being like, yeah, fuck LA, they suck, rich douchebags. Yeah, yeah. And that's like all of our friends were like, oh no, maybe they're just talented. I even called myself the other day looking at like, you know, Tim, Shane, all these people doing well,

Stobb doing well, and I'm like, shouldn't a couple of them be black women? Like really work, in my own head, just starting, just being like, being like actually let's hold on now Let's pump the brakes on this. Yeah, perhaps we should change it up, you know Why are we also not talking about there being no black people on tires? There aren't any black people on tires. What about the tires? It's LaMare who's a tire.

Yeah, who plays the tires? Yeah, it's funny, I always thought it was funny that they made the Michelin man white. Cause they probably came up with that mascot back in the 60s and the first one was just a big pile of shit. Wait, what did I know about? Did they used to dye the tires white?

I think that's what it is. I fact check that, they used to die the tires white I think that's what it is I fact-check that I think they died the tires white I think car tires were white back if you were like a pimp in the 1920s but I don't think that they were always master suit yeah yeah there's something about I read something about the Michelin man and about his color interesting I did This is why we're not doing well because this is all of this kind of stuff was conducive to Podcasting like fucking ten years ago when that kind of information would stay in your head Yeah, so then we all started podcasts and you'd be like, you know where these cell batteries come from and then the dumbest men in the entire

World were like this guy's like a genius you'd like this It was like this guy knows everything about everything. It's like no I just read some podcasting was like the uncle John's bathroom reader for a while I can just find fun facts and discover things but now everyone just talks about the same shit Yeah on every episode man the phones really killed the bathroom reader industry. Yeah, but I love the bathroom reader Yeah, just a shit-covered fucking book. Yeah Why would it wouldn't be shit covered that doesn't make any well, I mean shit particles are flying Yeah, they are do when you flush it Well, that's by that same vein so your toothbrush you're supposed to put your toothbrush into your medicine cabinet

These are shit particles on your toothbrush. Yeah Yeah, I've never read that. I didn't know you were supposed to do that. You're supposed to cover the, you're supposed to close the lid before you flush. You're supposed to like, yeah, you're not supposed to keep your. I've seen dogs eat shit out of their own asses.

I think we're being a little too precious with the bathroom thing. You think that we're freaking out about shit. The king of England, kings, of the greatest society of all time Judeo-Christian England The Judeo his in the Judeo-Christian history of the Western Judeo West of Christianity the kings of England which are Known to be the most civilized people of all time. The highest level. Their thrones would just have a hole cut in it and they would just shit in there.

They would. They would. Have you ever? They would shit into their crown and they would put it on their head. What is it? There's a, and this is another like historical fact. Pete, do you know this one? It was like the, is it pronounced diet or deet?

The congressional? Diet of worms. Not the diet, was it diet? Diet of worms, but that was a conference where they determined something. But then there was another diet where the floor gave- I thought that was what Zac and Mico eats. Yeah. The diet of worms.

Yeah, well that's why the name's funny. You learn the diet of worms in school and you're like, haha, that's a funny name. But it's, that was to determine something. And maybe it is, but it was just the diet of worms, but there was another there was another like congressional meeting in like medieval Europe where they brought all of these dignitaries into like a meeting house like this like Cathedral sort of meeting house and they were on like the third floor and There was so many people there in the table

The floor just gave out and immediately under it like three stories below was the cesspit for the, which is where all the shit and piss went. So all of these rich people just died suffocating in shit and piss. Yeah, and there was one guy, there was literally one guy who was like, I don't know what to call that, theoristocrats. Yeah, right, literally.

And then it was like the King of England or something, it wasn't the King of England, but it was another guy who just kind of like hid in like there was just this stone alcove. And he got stuck there. It took forever for them to get like a ladder or like a bridge for him to cross. He was just like basically hanging on the ledge for hours. And he's like, oh, please help me. I've all of my friends have fallen into the fit to the feces shit

Yeah, however, they said s's back then yeah, that's wild. Mm-hmm. You know the Yes, the roof-latan disaster of 1184 yeah Yeah. Tires were white until 1912, the rebirth of the KKK. Which I think was actually 1915. Actually the Michelin Man kind of looks like he's wearing a KKK hoodie. Yeah. It's got a little bit of a point to his head. Are there not really, there's no black people on tires.

That's interesting. I only watched three episodes and I didn't see a black person. That must be what the Wall Street Journal meant by the show is a fuck you to woke comedy. I can't wait till this stuff is done. What? Just even the word, just hearing the word woke. Well everyone's going like oh the pendulum swinging

back in the other direction. I don't wanna even hear about the fuck. It's not, but it's not. It's literally not. I don't wanna hear, well I mean if it, in what way is it? Well they're like dude woke the woke the woke shit is over, dude Comedies back it's like no no no Trump has been out of office for four years and people are on the left Don't feel the pressure like they have to come after comedians and every piece of art as soon as Trump is back at office

It's gonna get crazy again Yeah It's gonna get crazy again Yeah Maybe I don't know maybe we'll say yeah, I think I just don't Like I'm just I'm tired of everything being framed and in this way it sucks There has to be a different conversation that yeah, no, I know just as easily as a country be fighting over something different Yeah, well the whole woke versus non-woke thing is like so, at this point, it's so old. It just seems like an old conversation to even have.

It felt dated even when it started. Yeah. Yeah. So what is next, I guess, is the question for America. For America? Bridge Wallet, bridgewallet.com slash TAFS or promo code TAFS and that'll get you free shipping or something or some kind of fucking discount I use a ridge wallet

Lewis uses one although he seems to lose his in the seat belt cup in the back of a Toyota camera And it was such an issue for him that he destroyed his relationship with Ridge wallet over it I literally lost the sponsorship. They're like, dude, stop saying that. And I was like, dude, it happened like three times. This is what happens when you spend your entire life using wallet chains. You don't know how to keep, you don't know how to hold on to any of your items because you had this device that should be for mentally disabled people because you thought it was

cool. You don't have a leash on your money. I did have a leash on my wallet. What was the point of that? Is it like somebody would steal your wallet and then you'd be like, not so fast, pal. And then they'd beat the fuck out of you. With your own chain.

They'd beat you with your own wallet. Right. Yeah. No, I think it was just like fashion. It was just an accessory. I think it was. It was like a bracelet. There's no point to have a bracelet, right? Yeah It's uh

Sorry, adam's adam's texting me a bunch of uh business stuff what business stuff Just the show stuff we got to figure out over the next couple weeks. Anyways, Ridge Wallet. Ridge Wallet is, it's great. I use it. I love it. I got the gold one. It has the shit where people can't steal your information? Yeah, I don't even know how that works. The RFID thing, I think it's got that. The RFID thing, they also have luggage now. I'm big on the luggage. I was asking them to send it to me, but they haven't yeah They know it's really high quality. It's great shit. It's good stuff the backpack. I've used for for years. I love the backpack Check it out guys just go to Ridge wallet comm we got Father's Day coming up

That's why they're doing this push on the show They want to push the Ridge wallet stuff on Father's Day, and I'm telling you, it is a great, it is. Your dad's got a shitty old wallet, you know? And it's filled with, he's probably got a Blockbuster card in there, you know? And he needs a new wallet, get him the Ridge wallet, it's good, it's like, the perfect size of a credit card, fits in your big front or back pocket, you know,

it's got a clip, they got the money clip belt on there sometimes. What do you think your grandfather would say if you gave him a Ridge wallet? The N word. He's like, I'm not a fuck. What is this? Is this rap music? Shit, yeah.

Is this rap music? Shit. I'm gonna do this poop shit. Fuck. Those are the good old days. Anyways, sorry. Yeah. Moving on, folks. What else do we got this week? Really? I don't know. I just read war news all the time.

That's your whole algorithm. My cat, my sister's cat got caught in a tree yesterday. Oh really? You know what you can't do? You know who will not come? The fire department. The fucking fire department. Yeah, they don't really do that.

That's like a cartoon thing. Yeah, alright, I guess so. How do you know that? What? How do you know that? Have you ever had, I would assume that you only know that if you have a cat caught in a tree

and you call the fire department and they go, yeah, they only do that on cartoons. Yeah, yeah. No, you gotta get like animal control services or something. And then they have that noose on the thing and then they just yank the cat down by its neck. No, they don't do that. Animal control wouldn't come either.

Oh really? Yeah, I had to, so my- Hose, you use the hose. Yeah, you spray it out of the tree. Yeah, that's what I do. It was a black cat the tree. Yeah. That's what I did. It was a black cat, so. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I, initially my niece was like crying, and my aunt called me, and she was like, the cat's caught on the tree. The cat's just meowing. It's on my Instagram, it's on my Instagram story. You can watch it after this. And then I climbed up a ladder,

and it was a really shaky ladder, and I almost fucking fell down. And then eventually I was like, this isn't gonna happen. Then I went on Reddit and they were like, you're a, your kid's gay. But then I checked the Reddit about cats getting cornered trees. And they, you're a, you're a, you're a,

and they were like, no, usually just put some food down there, it may take a few days, but the cat will eventually get hungry enough and thirsty enough that it's in things. Yeah, they're just being dramatic Yeah, yeah, but they were like, but there's inclement weather then you should be concerned and it was gonna be fucking wind and rain last night So I had a call like a tree pruner Saw the branch up He literally came with all of his equipment and he was fucking hanging from the tree at

ten o'clock last night. An arborist. Is that what they're called? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they do tree pruning. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah.

That was on the side of the truck. It said tree pruning. It is a good job. That's a good job if you like climbing. That's crazy. Watching him go like trying to get this cat and the cat's like going on different branches. It was like when you were watching those like nature's metal videos like a lion trying to catch a monkey on the other branch Yeah, it was wild to watch it's got to be weird to be a cat you go up there

And you think you're just being a cat and then you're like oh fuck. I'm a thousand. I'm a thousand feet in the air And I don't know how to get back down. I mean I think he could probably climb down backwards That's how I would do it. I just don't think that their instincts work that way. Yeah, it's funny and it's like this is it's it's it's just I mean It's I don't know if you would call it hackneyed because it's it's a real sensation you feel but like Now I am 35 and every time I have to take a shit. I'm like something's wrong. Oh You know, oh, yeah, do I now I'm like everything's wrong. Oh, you know oh, yeah, dude. I now I'm like everything's fucking happened last way I did the podcast with with Racine everything's fine. It's going fine, then I suddenly have to take a shit, and I'm like oh Yeah, it's not it's like something bad. That's the shape like this is something bad. I have AIDS. I'm panicked

Yeah, yeah, not I'm paying like I'm sure it'll be fine, but it's just the sensation of needing the shit It's like fills me with the sense of just impending do you and do me anything anything with my body at all I should have gone to the bathroom earlier if I Like I have like if I smoke a vape now like weed vape it makes me feel like I got to pee a little bit It's just a thing that like has happened in my older age like and now once I'm done peeing it always feels like I got To pee a little bit more. this is something that happened my dick never ever feels right mm-hmm it's a nightmare yeah and then every time I system that I have AIDS yeah when did you stop being afraid of AIDS I don't

think I was ever afraid of AIDS really yeah? Yeah. That's crazy. Why? The first time I got an AIDS test, I hyperventilated and cried. No, because I was always. I was fucking a guy with AIDS. I was like, I mean, I was on the internet as a teenager. So like in the internet back then was all like very, very much right wing. So like you'd learn it.

They also couple drug education with sex education. You have a health class in school. Health class, you're right. And what do they tell you in health class? They tell you that drugs are bad, that if you smoke weed you're gonna end up a crack addict. That drugs do, they give you brain damage. Weed will give you brain damage, all this stuff.

And then they also tell you that you can get AIDS if you have sex and all this stuff and that straight people can get AIDS. They tell and all this stuff and that straight people can get AIDS They tell you all this stuff and then you leave health class and then you find out Drugs are fine. Even the guy who taught the health class probably so high as fuck. He probably smokes weed That's all a lie Probably at eight it was all created by a racist government to come up with these lies to tell you about drugs And yeah, but oh but the other part of the class that's true and it's like well no

none of this is I just I'll throw it all out I don't believe in any of this I stopped being afraid of AIDS when Penn and Teller did a bullshit episode on it oh really Penn and Teller did bullshit on AIDS and they called bullshit on AIDS I was like what yeah and then they were like they went over like the percentage the chance even if you had sex with a woman who had AIDS Like straight sex. Yeah, yeah, it was such a small chance to be able to catch it I was like, oh, that's no there was like a concerted effort to like that's that might be why like It's very easy to just blame

the like public health authorities for all of this but like so like public health authorities for all of this but like so AIDS was first recognized in in gay communities and because it was a gay the marginalized community The government didn't give a fuck about doing anything about it like Reagan famously kind of laughed After a phone call from like I think it was like Rock Hudson was like hey listen, buddy, I'm World dying over here. You're all your old Hollywood pals are dying Reagan was like tough

Tough shit homo my wife blew everybody That's my age. That's my wife sucked everyone's cock. It's God's answer to what you're doing Yeah, so good luck with your good luck with your butt monkey virus The White House won't be helping with anything. And then it was branded as, initially they called it GRIDs, it was Gay Related Immunodeficiency Syndrome. And because it was a gay thing, there was no public funding for it or research, and then Larry Kramer wrote all those plays.

And that actually probably benefited him more than anything because now he's Mr. AIDS. But yeah, that was the problem. It was branded as such. And so at the time, I feel like in the late 80s, early 90s, the correction wasn't to say, oh, homophobia is wrong. We should stop being mean to gay people.'s like no we should get people to care about AIDS by branding it as a disease for everybody yeah and so then there was that little

boy there was like a little white boy that got AIDS probably from the church I don't know like it was a blood transfusions I'm like yeah he should they transfused his blood all over some guy's cock at church No, it's a Ryan White or whatever and then it was everyone can get AIDS and then they branded it as like an area I remember that I remember that so clearly you're a little younger than me. I remember watching it at the time It was a part of like our culture, but then that had the reverse effect where it was like, okay. Well now there's insufficient Education going towards like younger gay people to tell them like no this is very something like very much something to be concerned with and

like, you know, you like you in particular need to use like protection or you know, like You should be concerned about AIDS because then it became like an everybody thing when it is something that affects This like one community you know what I mean it would be like if and I'm I've gotten so much worse at analogies in my life But it would be like if like let's say the world didn't care about handicapped people and they don't and then suddenly like we didn't Have stairs until the 1980s and they invented stairs, and then fucking you know like Like Christopher Reeves is like calling his friend Ronald Reagan and being like can you please? until the 1980s and they invented stairs and then fucking you know like like Christopher Reeves is like calling his friend Ronald Reagan and being like can you please help me I can't get into my apartment he's like tough shit that's

God's answer to horseback ride that's what you get for riding a horse like a fairy Fancy Prince on your horse Horse right yeah Ride a horse well you deserve it And then they were like well what if we convince people that stairs are a problem for everybody right and then we're like oh, okay We should all Fucking be careful, but I don't know I'm giving up on this analogy I don't know, but there was like 20 years of them like Saying it the wrong way, and then it took it took until only like it only I feel like in the last 15 years

They figured out like oh, there's a way to say hey AIDS mostly affects like Gay men you know so like you guys should use still do in like the commercials like they do they throw a fucking Chinese Girl in there for some reason Love a straight couple being like we're using prep. Yeah, they find the right way right balance It's like not it'll nine or ten gay dudes I'm really and as soon as as soon as they did that it was cured like literally as soon as they figured out the right Way to like brand it then it was like oh a pill that you take and then you don't have AIDS

I feel like also the branding for prep should be a little darker than it is. Did you? Brand it like it's a Skittles commercial. Do you know much about RFK jr? No, just his horrifying voice Oh, yeah, I read his book Like what like maybe probably around the time he announced his campaign I made the same joke on Rogan, but I was like I was like I wouldn't listen to his audiobook Yeah, I His book is insane. Yeah, have you read if you know anything I listen to audiobooks

It's not about do you mind if I if I say I read a book does that bother you considering? I only listen to audiobooks. No some people that really grinds their gears if you say I read it doesn't grind my gears I'll throw it in somebody's face. Okay, it's funny to me. Be like, what do you mean you read it? I mean you drove the fucking sheets You mean there was noise in your car when you were driving the sheets I Only listen to audiobooks cuz I have to do it like passively while I'm driving while I'm in the steam room or the sauna That's kind of what I hate about like a movie like now movie culture as a thing letterbox is turning into everybody's just I look at maybe it's just because it's it's like it's

What do you call it when you're looking at something and then you're you're like? Oh, this is everything but maybe it's just from looking at letterbox But like people's like attitudes about movies now are fucking insane What do you mean like it just like like people think they're doing something by watching a movie and Thinking about it like being a movie snob, it's like, no, you're just sitting on your couch, you fucking asshole. It's like, it's not, it is the most passive. You're doing what 99% of people do.

Well, it's the most passive form of media possible. You don't have to construct anything in your head. You're sitting there and you're being blasted with sounds and images. And then you're like oh what is this oh this must mean something yeah I'm fucking I'm using my brain to figure out what this means yeah I watch a good movie recently what's that the iron claw the on the von eric story Yeah, who's in that it's the guy from? What the fuck's his name

Yeah, Zac Efron. He's great in it. Yeah, he was great. I really liked it It's about the von eric coast, you know, you're not a pro wrestling fan, right? No, but Zac Efron seems like an extremely chill guy Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, it's good-looking dude Probably he's red now. He's become very red red. He's jacked in this movie plays a pro wrestler Yeah, they're all pro wrestlers There's you know the story about the curse for the family like all the brothers killed themselves Like three of three of the five brothers killed themselves one of them fucking had a weird like accident I don't think that's a curse. I think that's just a bad family. It's a bad father

The curse of having shitty parents. Yeah, right But that's funny that they do that. They just call it a curse. Yeah. Yeah, you can still kill yourself. That's nice me Yeah, well cuz you know, I don't want to kill no, you don't have any kids though People always say that they're like, oh mullins gonna kill him. So no, I'm not I'm not gonna kill myself No, I don't think you're to kill yourself. I'm like this you might disappear to the woods trying to find a way to exit Like like like cuz now I feel like I'm stuck just complaining right like sad, but then they'll watch Watch this fucking bitch I guess I guess I have to do it.

I guess we're stuck in a death spiral together. Right, right. I can see you disappearing one day. Just like completely, like just gone. Like where'd Mullen go? Like we don't know. That'd be cool. Yeah. I'd have to learn another language first. If you were going to disappear anywhere in the world,

where would you go? The Hudson Valley. You'd go 30 minutes north. Probably. Westchester. Yeah, probably Fairfield, Connecticut, I think. Disappearing. Two hiking distance away.

I don't know, probably like Great to hiking distance away. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know probably Like great neck or something Yeah, I don't know. What about you? Where would you disappear to Jamaica? You know, I would Jamaica. Yeah Jamaica I've been there ten times ten times ten times. What do you get for that? One of those roster banana the big Rasta banana Is that the prize? They give you a hat with the dreadlocks attached It's crazy that they sell that Rasta banana every amusement park has the Rasta banana It's like you if you get fucking like 10 swishes in a row or something. That's like a prize

Yeah at every amusement park you trade in for them and that is one of the most racist things i've ever seen Yeah, the prize atusing parks are crazy in general They're the shittiest quality Like stuffed animals I remember I won when I was a kid I need luxury stuffed animals No, first of all soft you want to do all of my stuffed animals were like like the inside of it was like broken apart Styrofoam yeah, you know I'm saying yeah I'm saying? Your mom just super glued googly eyes to your couch. She just handed you a throw pillow. Your own throw pillow from the couch.

It was a garbage bag full of garbage. She's like, look it's a bear. It's your friend, Louis. It was the game at the carnival where you throw the ball on a wrestling ring and it has to land essentially On a color. Mm-hmm, and then it's like huge prize So I won that bear yeah at that and then that bear became the bear that I fucked from when I was like nine To I was like 12. Oh, you fucked the bear. I fucked that bear. Is that why you're in the MMA now?

It was practicing. Yeah. Yeah, but no it I I slit a hole in between its legs and I used to put my dick and I grind You would come into the bear. Oh, I was I was I wasn't coming yet. It was air You know, it's like an airsoft gun and I would fuck the bear I remember I would pull it out and like the little beads of styrofoam would fall out of it Like a cream pie was falling out of it and it was a that was kind of hot I think that's why I like cream pie porn so much now. Oh interesting. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, never fucked a bear. You didn't fuck your stuff to animals. No, I never Just jacked off. Yeah, so it immediately that seems like not as intuitive

No, it's into it's your hand Maybe this is why you can't do like any kind of like visit like you can't do like you have no craftsmanship You just you're like well. I can't use my hands to do anything. I can do slight I must have a bear to not in That's cool where to go If it would if it was it's right here inside of your hat. If it, what if it was, dude? It's right here the whole time.

Oh damn. If it was inside of your hat, David Blaine did that to me. You would have shit your fucking pants. David Blaine did that to me, dude. What did he do? He did a card trick and he put a folded up card under my watch.

Really? Yeah. Like this whole time he's doing it and he's like, actually why don't you look under your watch? And I'm like, no fucking way, dude. It was under my watch. He had folded up in the floor and someone slid it under the watch

Yeah, there's um, I'm doing coke magic at skank fest this year so we did it during the pandemic last year with Shane and Dan Soder and Zack I was doing shitty magic like that on camera on zoom and So we're doing a stage show. I've hired a magician named magic Murray Whose recently was canceled from some magic society because he was giving away tricks So you you you hire a magician for a skanks fest and it just happens to be the magician that Like said the n-word or something. I don't like how is that possible? No that well That's what he would do is you would write the n-word on a card and then he would show you tear it in half And no no he didn't know he it was for like giving away tricks on like Instagram like just easy cheap tricks

Oh, okay. They were like you can't perform with this club. That is a big day I remember the 90s the mass magician that was a good death threats I mean it's crazy That would be like if you did like they had the masked comedian special on Fox and it was just a guy that went up and stole everybody's jokes Yeah, he just went up and did fucking Louis Zakt and like, yeah, Bill Cosby. And he had that cool

buddy. But the mask magician was just giving away the secrets. There's two kinds of black people. And it's just a white man wearing him, wearing the crazy mask. No, this guy, he he was for whatever reason.

He's teaching me a stage show. He's actually doing he's breaking the rules again. He's teaching me a stage show. He's actually doing, he's breaking the rules again. He's teaching me a stage show and we're training and we're gonna launch it at Skank Fest and essentially Shane. You should invent magic fighting. Magic fight, what is that? I don't know, that's what I mean.

You want me to invent it. You just came up with the name, now I have to fill in the rest of the details. Yeah, right, you combine your two interests of sleight of hand magic and mixed martial arts. Magic fight. And come up with magic fighting it's uh you have to hide a quarter in the other man's ass you know that's how magic tricks actually work I read a book on how to like beyond just like learning tricks like how to invent your own

illusions and tricks and they say you work backwards you come up with the idea and how you want it to look and what do you want it to be I think that's how literally everything in the world works No magic. Yeah, okay. This is how I think you can apply that statement to anything It's like you know you got to work backwards you have an idea for something There's a problem you want to solve and then so you start with the problem being solved and work backwards from there to the famous Magician once told me that practice makes perfect. Yeah, it's exclusive to the magic said that they copper field makes perfect. Yeah. It's exclusive to the magic. Who said that? David Copperfield? Yeah. He was talking about raping young women. Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, we were at 55 minutes,

but I will literally shit myself if we don't. I keep doing this. I have coffee. It's because since I was like, I'm taking the reins with the regular episodes, we do it in the morning. Okay. And I forget to take a dump. But the show, I feel like this is, the podcasting has been more fun. To be able to do it at 9.30, oof. Okay, and I forget to take a dump But the show I feel like this is the podcasting has been more fun to be able to do it at 930 Whoo, early I like an early morning podcast I'm fresh reason fucking all morning shows like start at 5 a.m Because you're fucking like delirious all the time the day happens like my anxiety is caught up. I'm stoned I'm really high. I'm smoking weed all day. I've shit myself completely I'm covered in shit particles guys one last plug

I'll be in Spokane at Spokane comedy club this weekend come out I am sure there are a lot of tickets still available and and then that's it for me until I think On tour right now. I'm touring everywhere. I got point pleasant coming up. I got Dallas Fort Worth, Los Angeles Go to Atlanta for the first time, Cleveland, going everywhere, just go to lewisofskanks.com and grab tickets. It's a brand new hour, I'm filming a new special in January, it looks like in England. So yeah, come out and support and check out my other pods. That sounds fun.

Thanks guys, good night. Dude, awesome.