The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Tim Dillon - Episode 56

Episode Date: May 31, 2024

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Tim Dillon - Episode 56 Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tafs Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/tafs/ -- LIVE SHOWS: NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows Jun 7 — Jun 8: Spokane, WA @ Spokane Comedy Club Jul 26 — Jul 27: Ft. Worth, TX @ Hyena's Comedy Nightclub ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour Jun 14 & Jun 15: Vancouver, BC @ House of Comedy Jul 26 - Jul 27: Spokane, WA @ Spokane Comedy Club Sep 12 — Sep 14: San Diego, CA @ American Comedy Co. #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #timdillon #comedy 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Welcome to the Adam Friedland show. Today is May 31st, 2024. Let's create these 20s. The crazy 20s. is May 31st, 2024. It's for these 20s, the crazy 20s. The 2020s. Yeah, the 2020s. Time really just flies by. We're almost at the end of it. Of time?

Well. Yeah. Well, at the end of our time. I guess, it's funny because it's like, if the world collapsed, because it feels like it might, if it's funny because it's like if the world collapsed, because it feels like it might, but it always feels that way. It always feels like something. But if this time it does happen, because there's a lot of things.

And normally I wouldn't engage in this, but, you know, we got you on here. So we'll talk. We'll just we'll declare things about the world. Well, you must. We're losing. So Russia is going to win. We are losing. Russia is going to win Ukraine. We're pretending now that, Russia's gonna win Ukraine. We are losing. Russia's gonna win Ukraine. We're pretending now that he's offering the ceasefire because he's weak. It's like, no, he's just gonna take it. He's gonna cause it.

Yeah, they've kind of already won. They've already won. This is a favor to us, and now he's allowing us to save face by saying, like, oh, well, Putin's weak. That's why he's offering a ceasefire where we freeze the lines where they are. He's weak because we took McDonald's away. Yeah, right We carved out, you know, it's like a Burger King out. He's bitten off a lot of Ukraine I'll probably invade Poland at some point he wins. But then the big thing is like

Assad is now Bashar al-assad is now like he's he's he's like People see him at the same level that they have disdained for Walter White from breaking back. You know, he's not like, the media, everybody in the western world failed to sell Assad as, and that's just Russia's guy. And the regime change failed, and you never hear anybody talk about that, but like, that's the biggest thing in the Middle East, is Russia won that one. They won.

They won the Middle East. Yeah. Is Russia won that one? They won. They won the Middle East. They've been racking up wins, but we've been getting better at the marketing of losses. Right. So that's what we've been doing. We've kind of been like, no, it's actually, it's a stalemate. We call things a stalemate all the time. And it's a stalemate. It's really not a stalemate.

The other secret war, also probably Russia Russia behind it is they've used gay African people to take over international law. So now that's all They control it. They yeah, like and by the way smart. Mm-hmm. Yeah, this was the smartest thing they could have done, right? So there's a cannon filled with bananas pointed at Netanyahu right now. It just Was designed by Putin secretly 12 years ago. And, but no, here's I think that they only, Trump got convicted just so we can save face when Netanyahu is arrested by the ICC.

But you can say, well, he's kind of like, you know, we put Trump in jail, he's there, Trump, everybody gets arrested. They get arrested, that is not indicative. We get arrested. That is not indicative. It doesn't mean anything. Just fine, yeah, exactly.

It doesn't mean anything. People have strong feelings about people, so they have to arrest them. I guess that's all to say, it's like, because it feels like, because you've had, in the last five years, you've had a lot of success. You're doing, you know, you're on- Doing okay, sure.

And a lot of people in our social circle are. Yes. And when things collapse, are you guys just going to turn into like glorious Swanson, basically just like kind of these no silent film? Here's what I will say is our podcast. Outside of me. Yeah. No one in our social circle knows who that is. I just ask that question. I imagine Shane in a mansion

with just like heavy makeup. And you know, a beauty mark, and the little like breast cancer set. Yeah, I mean that's the hope. And he's like, I'm still big, it's the pictures that got small. And nobody's listening to podcasts anymore. But he still has all of his blood, light millions.

I hope at that point I'm bright I made I invested in beer. I Made all my money in beer Back in the day. I was the biggest in the world of yeah sand up comedy and podcasting and the entertainment Then is just is reading the Quran. I would imagine. Yeah, is when we we have no choice But to be like living is you know kind of like an exiled oligarch in Brighton Beach at that point Yeah, just kind of eating, you know fried fish sitting down by the pier Yeah

And then just like being that guy that when you get near him, he just starts going what I might my career track What I want is I kind of want to take the Jerry Lewis route. Yeah, so here I'm just laughing stock racist buffoon sure and makes garbage pretends to be a mentally disabled person sure laughs. Yeah, and Then I saw I don't know what for but after this I want to go be revered by the French And I don't know if that's maybe just being Chuck E Cheese Yeah, by the way, it would be incredibly easy for you Oh, yeah, I could just go over there and be an anti-semitic version of Chuck E Cheese You know very much similar what you do now with a little style, like a little

more stylistic. The anti-Semitic mime, I guess, is what I'll be. And then they'll be like, oh, this is the greatest out we have ever seen. Here's an artist. Yeah, no, you just, you have to be like kind of like an anti-Semitic, like Harlequin clown. And just sneak it in. Yeah, it's funny because people don't realize't realize like JFL had this reputation of being like the premier comedy festival Yeah, but a good 50 to 60 percent of JFL was just that it was like mimes and and

Clowns it was francophone clowns. It was like Cirque du Soleil Yeah, right, yeah tightrope stuff And they blew all this money all this French bullshit and then 10% of it was like us right is is somehow they would trick Comedians American comedians and are coming there for no pay. Yeah, you know Well, they never mix those two sides of JFL never mixed it was always very segregated, right? Like there was never like a clown bringing up Bobby Kelly. They should have done it. They should have that would have been great Yeah, just a high wire act Bobby trying to talk that guy back. Yeah, what's your fucking problem?

Just smell you can see stink lines coming off of them. Yeah Just smell you can see stink lines coming off of them. Yeah. Mm-hmm. No shoes on he's got hobbit feet How do they live do they live as circus as like what the French Canadian peasants? Yeah, like how do they live do they live as a troop? Yeah, I saw a lady in Montreal walking a pig right I was there because you'll see them on the streets walking around You go do you all live in it communally? Yeah, I imagine they must yeah I think so they don't have like in that like there's no there's no version of that guy Who's like touring a house and going right now? It's like they have like hostels. Yeah, I feel like it's kind of yeah, cuz I think it would be the it's the way circus

It's just it's expensive there right. It's very expensive Sorry, I'm trying to find the the timer here that tells me when we have to do our ad reads, but I'm... We have the app as well. Oh, okay. You can just shout it out then. What's the ad? Just shout it. Just shout at me because I switched to the Snoopy watch face and it makes it very difficult to use the Apple watch for anything other than looking at Snoopy doing stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's the Apple watch? This is the last expensive thing I'll be able to purchase before the fall. Yeah. I want one because it now tells you when you're dying, it gives you an update. They've always had that. They keep adding.

They have that feature that tells you when it's over. Yeah, they keep adding more stuff. Yeah, there's more health. I go, who needs? It can diagnose AFib, which seems like too severe of a medical issue. But maybe we start off with, tell me if I have a cold. Like I don't know if you want me to be, hey.

The arterial fibula. I don't know if I want Snoopy telling me I'm dying of congestive heart failure. Well, it's also a lot of us are almost dying, not a lot of us, but I'll say a lot of people in our group are probably almost dying a lot. So why would we need to know all the time? It's so funny because comedians embrace being unhealthy. You spend your entire 20s being like, I'm killing myself. And then if you manage to find success in your 30s or 40s, then you want to live. And then they're like, I want to live. And then they're like, should I

go to the dentist? And it's like, you have $800 million. Get a robot body. Well, that's the next step, is to get a robot body. That's the real, when you talk about the fall, where are we gonna end up? It's not so much we'll be locked alone in mansions. We'll all just have robot bodies. And we'll just come out on a tour.

I still think it's gonna be a Gloria Swanson thing. Yeah. Just locked up. I see, yeah, just in a mansion. I hope. Dead monkey in a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Just locked up. I see. Yeah. Just in a mansion. I hope dead monkey in a cradle. Yeah. Yeah. Screaming at the people that have come out. Uh huh. Yeah. Who's got what? Who? Who? What's going to be the next? Who's going to be in 10 years? What's going to be the thing? Because something's got to replace all this. It's got to be the economy. Now that like the the podcast guys the podcast kind of the guys that operated on the fringe and then you know

They built up fan bases. They're now being ingested into the mainstream, right? Yeah It's like once that ends. What's the next route up? Funny answers only. Yeah, yeah. The natural violence. Well, yeah, violence. I was going to say French Canadian Street before. Yeah, there's always that.

Yeah. But I mean, violence. I don't know. Like, it's going to be guys sitting around the cellar being like, yeah, I got my doo doo juggling act going. Yeah, I know. I'm out on the street juggling doo-doo I smell like shit. Yeah, and it's like, you know, I think this might be the move Isn't everything a circle this French go back to what it was and I don't know what it was silent films something like that

Yeah, maybe it'll be silent film. Yeah That would be brilliant. That'd be cool. Yeah, I made a silent film. Did you really? Yeah, it was a ballet It was silence. Okay, it was scored. There was there was no dialogue in it. Yeah, okay. Mm-hmm. It might go back to Or might just go to something so crazy you know, I Think it goes to like where we maybe we're all just like we work for like well like we pick a corporation and that's we're just their entertainer I think we have we become the entertainer the only thing left is some sort of like

neo feudal we're gonna have to have a king and it'll probably be some sort of religious king I don't know if it was a caliphate that doesn't really they don't really seem like they're winning I guess I don't think cal it was even a caliphate that doesn't really they don't really seem like they're winning. I guess I don't think Caliphate yeah will happen in our time But I could certainly see a probably a Mormon King is where we're at the Mormon King like a clean-cut kind of in shape He's like a Mitt Romney Mitt Romney King, but it would be like Mitt Romney's boyfriend. Yeah, Romney would be the queen. It'll be a gay Mormon. Yeah boyfriend yeah Romney would be the queen. It would be a gay Mormon king. Gay Mormon king. If I had the bet on the future of the country. Looking at everything the way it's moving

kind of a gay Mormon king Apple watch yeah right tech savvy yeah right you know smart yeah proficient at several different sports yeah we watch him play them right an MMA style. Yeah. He fought an MMA. He's gay. And anyone can be the king if you can beat him at tickle fighting.

Yes. And good luck. Yeah. Good luck. This guy's the master. He knows what he's doing. Yeah. Rogan will never die.

I know that. I know no matter what happens, Rogan will be the constant. Wouldn't it be crazy if he just dropped dead tomorrow? What kind of shock that would do? It would be it would be shocking to a lot of people It might usher in like a level of debauchery like all these guys We're like going to the gym and like eating, you know, whatever they're eating. I mean you might just see Like all of these guys just eating cake becoming fat fat, becoming like feminine and fat. Like imagine all these UFC guys kind of running the other way, all these bro guys.

The guys that go out for stupid New York Times called it bro macassi. Like the suit. Wait, what is this? They're just trying to say now that like Rogan's made sushi a masculine meal, which it's always been. It's always been. Yeah. It's never been like, no one's ever been like, I'm going to have sushi and somebody goes, what are you's never been like no one's ever been like I'm gonna have sushi

And so what do you know what's ever a Rogan thing is sushi well? He loves this sushi place that he's made really popular, but everybody likes sushi I know but they keep this is what the New York Times has written this article now where they're like men are eating sushi together It's retarded. He's he's probably worn shirts more sure no of course. It's like what yeah No, it's not trying everything they try to do is to try to make it like a problem There's only like ten types of food. No, no, no Did you have and go out and have and sushi is one of the yeah, but it's like the it's the new articles called Bro, Makasi and they're like manner and bracing sushi. Is that a Japanese word? Is that a pun? Yeah, it's a pun

They're like it used to oh Makasi obviously sushi pun. They're like it used to oh Macassi obviously sushi But they're like it used to be steak houses now if you want to close deals or go out with your bros. It's sushi So I think if he died tomorrow, you might see a lot of people Just become like fat and gay. Yeah, I feel like people would react to it like more like You know like a building and collapsed rather than a person had died Yeah, well be 9-eleven again like it wouldn't it would be no explanation that would suffice No, there would be no culprit. There'd be no but there were on the internet Yeah, there would be a discussion you ever think about you ever think about how?

Like there has to be an alternate universe where 9-11 was just an accident. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was just like those two pilots got drunk together at fucking Applebee's in LaGuardia. And then fucking they're like, "'Dude, I'll see you next week, dude.'"

And then both of them happened to just fucking cause the biggest accident of all time. That is the best explanation for what I've heard. Yeah. Is it's just drunk guys that got fucked up at Chili's? It would be even worse if it's just first. It's like at United Airlines announces the hiring of the first two black female pilots. And that's just, you know, imagine that you. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the beginning.

That's the beginning of the movie. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that would be. Of Mike Judge's wokeocracy. What if 9-11 was due to. Two black female pilots that got fucked up. That was kind of a thing online, like a year ago, wasn't it? It was black female pilots?

No, it was people saying if I go on a plane and there's a black pilot I've turned right around Oh and you're and then do what spend another $500 on a plane ticket by the way nobody It's a funny thing about air travel is that always a lot What are you gonna? What are you worried that's gonna happen is he's gonna land the plane back It's also like what are you gonna rent a car? Yeah, you're gonna rent a car. Yeah, the worst thing that you can ever do Yeah, there's nothing worse in our society than renting a car. It basically is like, you're the biggest loser

that's ever lived and then you're gonna drive eight hours. I'd rather die. I hate every time I, cause I rent cars. When I go on the road, I can, it saves money over the Uber. Of course, but it's terrible. Right. Every time I get the challenger upgrade and they treat me like I'm, I am Sam. Like they're letting me keep my daughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just fine like, do you want to drive the race car? Yeah. But just give me a car.

I'm fine with the Nissan Altima. I haven't had a physical license in years, and I have, you know, who's ever with me like the opener, we'll rent the car if we do. And then I have a car, don't we? I have two cars. You can buy cars without a license. I have a license, I just don't have it on me.

And it's, I think it's suspended, but you can just buy cars. They don't really care. You just show them, you go see it's a license. You know what I'm gonna buy is one of those things that lets you make your own guns at home. 3D printer. Yeah, but what they make so there's 3D printers that are just for guns. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it seems like

that would get you in trouble, but the kind where they just show up at your house all the time. Well, they just keep coming and you it's kind of nice. And that seems like you know, we talked about what's the path forward. Yeah. For me, I think it might be And it's kind of nice and that seems like you know we talk about what's the path forward yeah for me I think it might be recording a bunch of visits from the podcast might just become casual conversations with the DHS yeah a woman with a clipboard yeah, and they just come in and they kind of know they're like hello Yeah, yeah, I'm like checking on yes. What do you think? We're all right to record them. I think it is It actually is your right to record them. Yeah, that's not a bad podcast. We got to establish that at the beginning every time Yeah, that's not a bad podcast idea. There's funny. There's a guy. There's a guy on Twitter

I saw that that does that he's like, so now it's funny because because of what's what does he tweet? Like I'm gonna kill the president. No, he's War with the Jewish. What the president? No, he's at war with the Jewish... What's that? Oh, okay. Yeah, so maybe I'll just say this and then we'll go right back to it rather before I start talking about this guy. So today's episode is brought to you by Twilery. Have you heard of Twilery? I've not. Well, you're about to. It is Twilery wants to complete complete every man's wardrobe with comfortable, quality garments that are

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It's Kevin Spacey. I feel so cool in my twillery air suit. This is Kevin Spacey. Yeah, but I can't, yeah, Kevin Spacey. Excuse me, can you clean the boy off my Twitter air suit? I seem to have had a violent evening. I had a violent indulgence in my most, let's say, disgusting vices. Anyways, none of that.

They just launched a new airline, including air suits that are designed to keep you cool, comfortable, and breezy. Everybody hates being hot. And that's my thing is I hate it. I like, I don't like, I'm worried about skin cancer now all the time. I go to the, I went to the.

Well, that's a good worry. I walk to the, I walk through the park and I see everybody sunbathing and I'm just like, oh, cancer. They're all going to get skin cancer oh, they're all gonna get skin They're all gonna get skin cancer. That's what I say. It's good when you find really hot people Yeah with their shirts off. Yeah by the pool and you go it's all fun now and I'm there wearing the biggest hat you've ever seen I go my aunt married died of melanoma 33, which is true. I'm leaving. I've been my apartment all day long I leave to buy cigarettes. Yeah, I'm like you're all gonna get skin cancer

Yeah, it's covered. Well, you got to be careful because it is out there. Yeah, right And so that's why I like this is it keeps me covered but I'm not sweating right because that's the other thing that will give You skin cancer is sweating. I don't know. I would imagine it's probably good for you. I go to the sauna It's good. I know I go to the sauna all the time to detox now Okay, I say that it's me and other fucking disgusting people in there. Yeah talking about Russia. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I mean tell you I talk about about Russia. I had an interaction in the sauna where I don't know why I'm like I'm just no good at socializing. It's bizarre that I found a Career a failing career mind you a dying career talking for a living because I am like I have no social skills

I'm sitting in the sauna. There's other people talking about that Brooklyn Tower and what happened? I don't know the guys two guys are talking in the sauna about the Brooklyn Tower They say oh, it's a beautiful building or they it's an ugly building everyone hates it I go I think it looks kind of nice and then the guy says really because that's the first time I've ever heard that everybody Oh the one by the bridge by the bridge. It's disgusting. I say I think it looks kind of nice for a superstructure I mean, it's the best that's as good as it's gonna get and they go really everybody thinks it's ugly I go, okay, and then they continue their conversation Yeah, kind of sit there in silence and nude covered in sweat. Yes You should have fought like you should have fought for your point of view. Yeah, I should have stormed that you should have yelled

I should have burned. That was a very normal interaction I was just walk up and put my genitals in the sauna heater I was imagining that was gonna be much worse, but you looked fine there. Yeah, okay. Just offered an opinion they didn't like. I felt like such an asshole. I was like, why? Nobody cares what I think.

Like, I'm going to come in and be like, no, it's actually, I don't even care about the building. Right. But I think you look at the ones around Central Park, those are- They suck too. They're an abomination. They suck. Whereas they're at least trying something with the Brooklyn Tower.

The failure of the Brooklyn Tower is that they put it in Brooklyn Right if that had been in the financial district Maybe it makes a little more sense certainly more than the Jenga building or like well the Jenga building is Again an abomination, but one that people like what the thing in New York is every time something goes up Everyone hates it ten years later. They'll go. We love it Nobody's made nobody's done that though, and I think the Brooklyn Tower is gonna be the first one you give it a little bit of time Yeah, because there's all these financial problems with it Yeah, but everyone hates everything when it's built even a good one

These are these are not things you have to worry about if you're wearing twillery clothes No, and that's one of my favorite things about then host speaks about their favorite things about Twitter clothing That's one of my favorite things about it. Yes is you're you feel like you're in the penthouse at the Brooklyn Tower Yes, you're in a ting on whoever's going to junior who's ever been Anybody there yeah anybody going to the new Paramount Theatre in Brooklyn which beautiful is that what it's called no idea There's they had a new theatre in Brooklyn. You should do it the Paramount Theatre I think it's a pyramid they just reopened so we go do a show with like One of the bars we used to do a show out. I want to do a show like tandem and Bushwick

Yeah, I'd like to be able to sell tickets, which I will be in Spokane at this boy So yeah, everywhere you are sold out. That's not true. Well, I see a lot of them are sold out. Okay, Spokane Washington I'll be at Spokane at the Spokane comedy club next weekend. Friday Saturday. It is not well There's a lot of separatists. I don't even know how to get there. It's terrible. I don't know It's I'm looking at nine connecting flights. It's the only town where you're in the Pacific Northwest and you go Oh, this is like it's not even pretty. Yeah. Yeah, I guess it's it's next to Idaho Which my understanding is that's just a place where you like leave, you leave there to be gay somewhere.

Or if you're really smart, you stay there to be gay and to Nazi. Oh, okay. That's the move. What the hell is Idaho? Idaho's like an area that is kind of reserved for- Real quick too. Yeah. For my listeners exclusively, or Adam's listeners rather. Twilery is often a

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They've already been lured in because he's like an anti with all the Israel stuff going on There are guys that are like very far right that have just kind of like they've like they've elevated in their time They're well, yeah, cuz it's an easy in for them an easy in it's it's it's great I was saying you know like people say oh like you know you know, you can't conflate anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism, but it's like, let's not pretend like the guys that aren't just anti-Semites are... There's certainly a little Venn diagram. There's some of those guys are...

There's a little Venn diagram. There has never been a better time to be alive. This is their moment. Yeah, right. Yeah. And they're prepared and then there's one guy who's like He's like former military or something and then and then he's like, you know every some of the posts are like, you know, like Like this is a genocide. I can't believe what's happening in Rafa and the next ones like the Jews that live down the street

I've been looking at my car the Jews that live down the street have been looking at my car. Right. And stuff like that. And he posted a video of like DHS and like, I don't know, FBI or something coming to his house and the woman cuts him off. It's a long video. I only watched like the first five minutes of it. She's like, well, I just want to let you know I'm coming down from DHS.

I'm actually higher up and I want to let you know because they're telling me and she's mediating this dispute between him and literally the Jews right? Well, that's a nice thing Yeah the Jews in his neighborhood or like in the community that he lives in because they're saying oh this guy's threatening us and So she looks she's like but I looked online and there's a lot of threatening going back and forth and so this woman's job is to mediate this dispute between These like I don't know this this retarded group of rabbis

and then this guy who's like fucking just saying shit on Twitter. And it's like, this is a daycare counselor's job. I don't think- Well, it's like, there's this kid, a bunch of kids got captured in Africa because they went, their dad, one of the kid's dad's was this African guy who wanted to overthrow the Congolese government. So he got a bunch of his son's friends down there and he literally said, we're gonna do this.

They didn't know. And he got shot, they shot this guy in the head immediately. They just shot the dad in the head. And then his kid and the other kids just went through like a Congolese prison and then they were talking to these two lesbians who were the mothers of one of these kids. And they're like, it's terrible not hearing from him.

But they're like, we're in contact with the State Department. And it's like, it's their job to like look after Americans. I'm sure they're like doing everything they can. And it's like, that's not their job. It's like, that's absolutely not their job. And it's like the list of priorities, like your kid locked up in an African prison

is the lowest. It's the lowest. We can't get anybody back from anywhere. We have no ability to fucking do it. No, we have no leverage. We have nothing, but it was funny the way they go, yeah, well, you know, the State Department, this is their job.

This is what they do. You go over for a summer job and you try to overthrow a government, as you're confused, and you go to jail, the State Department gets you back. No, the State Department has to like, to trade. We have to have something to trade and we don't have any. We don't have any. We have nobody.

We have no prisons. We got guys that were in Al-Qaeda 35 years ago. Right, that we've tortured insane. Yeah, right. And then the ones we haven't tortured, like there's two types of those guys. They're still there in Gitmo. Some of them have bestselling books. We won't even let them out

They're like best-selling authors and we are still like torturing them. Yeah, we won't even let them out They've been at the top of the New York Times bestseller list. It's a strange phenomenon. Yeah. Yeah, one of them's Rami One of them is Rami the show Rami is about Rami's lives in Gidmore They let him out to do that to win Emmys. Yeah, and then he goes back Good I saw an episode it was good I Don't watch many things. I I don't why don't stick with a lot. I Feel like I just don't here's the other thing

It's like I don't I can't watch any of the comedian stuff because yeah It's like they all make the same show and then it's a lot of issues but like I'm a young Muslim figuring it out that's not a genre that appeals to me but he's a Muslim comedian I guess yeah yeah and that's not his fault it's a great show for a million people yeah yeah that love it I just did that's not a I don't like a lot of things. So yeah Yeah, I also can't watch stuff. I don't know if they shoot it here But I can't watch stuff that's like just all shot in New York, especially if it's shot in Brooklyn That's the other thing I don't cuz it's like this looks like it was done for free. No, I my friend's apartment

I don't yeah. No, I I I yeah people love it. It's you know, I just died that's you know, I like such Specific, you know. Yeah. I watch house flipping shows that are not even the good ones. These are not even the ones people know about. These have no budget. It's always like a fat Persian woman

and her gay husband or whatever. And they just walk around like Vegas and they find these disgusting homes that are never going to be worth anything. I don't even watch anything good. Nothing I watch is good. There hasn't been a show I've really been into in a while. I still just watch Beyond Belief, Fact or Fiction all the time. Yeah, there's so many iterations of all this crap. Like the flipping shows went so crazy

that they have shows where they're like triple digit flip. And it's like just, it's not even a show. It's like the lowest quality, the people suck, everything about it sucks. And I'm just fascinated by it. I'm fascinated by how bad it is. And I just stare at it. That's what I'm saying, man. I think the new form of entertainment is baiting

federal law enforcement agencies into having an hour long conversation. Absolutely not the worst idea. Every week, and then you try to get a different like I'm just gonna do a tweet like man There's nothing I love more than opening other people's mail, right? And then just get the fucking get the postal inspector out or just roll the tweets. How about they're outside? They got the clipboard the Patagonia vest on and I'm like, let's pod dude Well, it's like how about we do January January 6 and there's just three people sitting there He's like thanks for doing this. Yeah. Yeah, well just nodding three hours. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, they're all using the bed every hour and a half like DHS has to use the bathroom and come back I tell you the there's there's not a more satisfying sip in the world than a glass of raw milk You just transported across state lines and then just get the FDA guys out well well well gentlemen care to talk about the Jews yeah yeah let's put some time on the clock mm-hmm yeah what other what other departments ATF ATF but the ATF seems like the ATF seems like that's because the ATF they're the reason yeah that like fucking Vegas yeah paddock paddock the ATF is the reason ATF basically they kind of I and I'm completely shooting from the hip and I barely researched this

or looked into it but that's this is the way to do it it feels like they work more for the NRA than they do for like cuz they definitely Cuz it what the ATF does is they set definitions of stuff So the reason you can do all this you can print your own guns and all this shit is because what is classified As a firearm is like a very specific piece of the gun It's also interesting to regulate guns in a country where there is the belief that everyone needs one. Yeah, so it's a strange What are you even doing? Well, it's also, as soon as you can print something at home,

trying to regulate it is ridiculous. Silly. You know, I mean, it's like, we're on the honor system here. Yeah. Crypto kind of works the same way. That's right. It's like, to the same degree, you can't have a gun in the same way that you're supposed to pay

taxes on crypto trading trading sure you know Which it's like on your transaction maybe maybe you'll you'll get me when I finally use either Yeah, you're right. I can amass all this crypto wealth that is untaxable But the second I try to actually use it then you're done Then you can fuck me out same way I can build this entire arsenal of weapons Yeah, you can you have that's always how it's been That's how I shoot up. Yeah, I destroy until you go at people Yeah, then it's which that's that's illegal one way or the other. It's not like murder is gonna be legal at any point Not for the right not for the wrong reasons. Yeah

Yeah Maybe inventing some sort of like you see the woman I had on my Podcast Noah Tishby the Israeli lady who's out there You know speaking of the I had her on she was with RFK. Hopefully everyone hated her. Yeah, well, she's just like Cacophony of those two that accent and his voice, right? So she's um She had this new explanation for the, cause I knew she had to come out for the Rafa thing, which is there's nothing better than watching someone

who has to go, alright listen. She goes, listen, we gotta talk about this thing. Yes. It happened. We gotta, I'll address this, horrific massacre, and her whole point was that Hamas had a weapon stockpile Mmm, it just blew up. Yeah, it wasn't really an Israeli strike Yeah, just a weapon stockpile that blew up. She goes. Listen, we'll talk about this

You want to discuss this you want to talk about it? Sure. I'll tell you what it is Hamas had weapons and they blew up and that's what happened. Yeah, and you're like this is This is a fun thing to watch somebody Do yeah, right? No matter what a war is Everything like you got to do horrible shit. Yeah, there's nothing better than having someone come out with a straight face and go hey Right. I know you don't like this, but it's also like with the immediate follow-up is like, okay So let's say it wasn't that let's say They just bond the refugee camp and set 40 people on fire

Would that be wrong? They'll go yeah, no yeah Whichever way you want to believe this happen right whichever thing you like Whether it was just a weapons stockpile that exploded in the middle of the night Yeah, right or it was a midair cleansing the the thing to me the point I'm at is because I'll just say the clips that I will seek out and watch are the ones where you either get the Pentagon spokesperson who now seems to be doing What's her name? Kareem? Jareem? Janine? John jock?

White house press. I take Jean Pierre John Luke Picard. Yes Gerard de Purdue, yeah, right. Yeah Her stupid French Canadian name, yeah and Which probably that's the worst thing colonialism has ever done. Yeah, is that woman's name black people French names This is a Jean-Luc. Yeah, is that woman's name black people French names? This is a Jean Lou yeah, right anyways, so You know like it seems like John Kirby just does half her job now Yeah, but all of these things are I don't know who the other guy is that that kind of a fet kind of like porky

Indian man, yes, who's like they roll him out every now and then yeah him who he seems to be like the most on point He's bad good that guy's better at communicating than the rest of them. Yeah, but Watching like the press like I don't even know why we're even pretending anymore Why these reporters are sitting there being like so they're gathered they're putting people on trains and taking them to a place called Auschwitz 2 electric buglew. That's the name of the camp. It's on the sign.

And it says, make no mistake, this is a concentration camp where we're gassing people to death and we're gassing children here. Does that cross the red line? And then they go, that's a disingenuous question. It's like, first of all, the president never said the line was read, right? Okay, and we'll we got to figure out you know we've done. I mean now we're at the point because I It was like I think like you know we're funding this we're paying for the this we're sending those weapons it's because the military industrial complex controls everything and

Israel is the greatest money laundering operation they've ever been handed ever right so that's that's what drives this and we like we don't want gay people to be treated poorly oh right that's the main that's yeah that's the main yeah we're saving them that's the main yeah anyways you would think that like okay well that's why all of this is happening but then you have fucking John Kirby go on the TV and defend the RAFA thing by saying, like, we sure as hell did a hell of a lot worse in Iraq and Afghanistan. So now you're throwing the United States under the bus. Yeah.

To defend this. Now it's like, so you won't admit that this is bad, but you'll say, oh, well, America, if you got a problem with this, you'll see how shitty I am. Yeah. It's like, well, I am. Well, you know. You've seen the baby's heads from Fallujah, those birth defects. They're like footballs.

Yeah. And it's like, well, what is the point of this thing? Yeah. Because now it's not like, now you're not defending even this whole idea of Western-based, you know, rules-based order. Nothing. It's specifically just this thing here and we'll fucking will at the expense of everything else Yeah, the integrity of everything else. Yes is saying and it's like what the fuck is going on He's like we turned hoses

Yeah on people trying to get into schools, but then but then you know I don't understand why journalists are even participating in this you know it's like you can yeah You know They're making this is there how they get a chat and the flip side of it is you still like still to this day You'll have fucking what's his name? What's his name the fucking Fox News guy? Did what No, what's his fucking name? The guy's son, Deucey. The younger Deucey. I haven't seen the younger one.

They'll all sit there and they'll ask questions about Gaza and then he'll be like, is President Biden gay? Say no if he's, deny it. Say because he thinks it's gross. Just do his trick question thing about, he'll be talking about Hunter Biden still. And is that, maybe because I'm checked out, I live in a very tiny world, right? Google very specific things and look at them. Is he, do people still care about Hunter Biden? Because it seems like that went.

Not really, not really. Okay. I think I'm saying it's time for the next time. Yeah, I know, yeah, I know. Yeah, I appreciate that. I care about Hunter Biden because he lit. He's a fun, you know kind of a fun guy lives in Malibu Seems to be as an artist Probably had a tough life. Yeah

You know, but it didn't amount to anything. No, he's just kind of like everyone else in California. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's just flailing Well with higher stakes What's next for Rafa? They should just drive a monster truck through it. Let's see that I would if I was me I would see like yeah, I mean at this point just you know See how far you can go. Yeah.

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It's like, well, my dad's grandma was from Canada and he's just never been able to, we're taking him on the family trip to his ancestral homeland of Toronto Toronto He's going up you we hear there's some good Italian food. Yeah, you know he loves buildings Yeah, right he loves it. Yeah, he loves clean streets and new modern building he likes buildings built in 2012 he really tried to get into his Toronto roots. He's been playing the sims for yeah What an ugly city that thing is yeah, it really like I mean, I thought it was just to write audiences. But I mean, I've toured all of Canada and it's like this entire country is just like leftovers.

Yeah, it's leftovers. It's something off. It's a casserole type of like if America is the melting pot, you know, like it's an expensive overpriced fondue restaurant then it's that is a just a Casserole, it's just a generic. They put all and put everything left over into a food processor And you just get this disgusting kind of sludge. Yeah kind of just everything's mixed together But in a way where it remains discreet. Yeah, and incompatible only sense of nationalism is goofy Yeah, which was like ours sucks, too Where it remains discreet and incompatible. The only sense of nationalism is goofy. Yeah. Which is like ours sucks too, but it's like theirs is just silly.

Yeah. It's like mousse and syrup and shit. It's just like a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't think of one. The biggest thing out of Canada in the last 10 years is Jordan Peterson. That's right. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah. That's right. Who's done irreparable harm. It's just, who's just really, you know. Can we blame countries for stuff like that? Probably not. Here's the thing, we can blame countries that had nothing to do with 9-11 for 9-11.

We did a 14 year war with a country that didn't do 9-11 for 9-11ven for 9-eleven we did a 14 year war yeah country that didn't do 9-eleven for 9-eleven yeah, we should be able to bomb Canada Because of Jordan Peterson That might be extreme yeah But it could be it should be on the table okay Yeah, you know what I mean you should at least that's where the State Department would answer it. He goes of course Yeah, right on the table. Mm-hmm. Look at what we've done Yeah, it would be hilarious if there were videos of just Canadian children being melted. Well, I'm John Kirby being like That's that's tough business

Okay, that's that's the way in business. Things are tough. This is what happens. I you know, I don't like it I it's it's not it wouldn't be my first choice No, of course not Of course not. It wouldn't be my first choice and I take offense to the question. Yeah, I don't like that Yeah, you never love the question. Yeah, um, I have you ever sucked a cock. Yes or no No, I don't like I don't like the way you're asking that okay, that's tough Yes, that is the way we would characterize like that is the way he would perfect I'm trying to figure out what is something's wrong with John Kirby, and I don't know what he's like

Oh, he's like a reanimated doll. I don't know Remember the goosebumps book about the dumb. Yes. Yes. He's the guy that's him He's a real star. Yeah I don't know why I don't know what's going on over there that he's even up front for this Like I don't know who apparently there's drama behind the scenes between him and John Luke Picard She's like that's that's my job to go out there and do Obama mannerism. Yeah, that's what I do It's I love that too that some of the Democrats are still trying to do I don't know why I don't know what's going on over there that he's even up front for this like I don't know who She's like, that's my job to go out there and do Obama mannerisms. Yeah, that's what I do. I love that too, that some of the Democrats are still trying to do the Obama mannerisms. I always feel like John Kirby is finding out what's going on in real time.

I don't feel like anyone tells him. I feel like he's not- I feel like he's using his face to try and hold his eyeballs into his head. I feel like nobody gives him the talking points before he goes out He's just kind of like yeah Yeah, and she's gonna react in real time to the horrors. That's what is he's doing fucking W's mannerism Yeah, that's how long he's been around that. He's like he's like just that's just what that's just that's tough cookies 40 children beheaded that's fucking that's the way the cookie crumbles. It's a cost of doing business.

You sir you like cookies? Yeah. Now you're gonna say just because the cookie crumbles we're gonna say we're not gonna eat cookies anymore? I mean that's come on you know and I never forgotten what Hamas did on October 7th. That's the important thing. That's the that's the meaningful question. It's like sir you fucked my wife.

Yeah. Are we gonna talk about October 7th because it seems more important Yeah than anything I may have fucked or not fucked to your wife, which not saying we did they were kids at a music festival Yeah, how about that? Yeah? No, I I because he was an Obama administration guy. He wasn't like a W. No, he's just there. He's a guy that he lives in the pipes And they bring him out and he doesn't quite know why he's doing this Yeah, it's a very undignified job to deal with the press. Yeah, it's not a track like anyone really Well, it's just a launching pad to like get a job on Fox News or any of these places. Yeah, right

It's all it is right. Yes. Nobody wants it It's like half the time you're getting just roasted in front of everyone. Like they pick you out. All these guys shit on you. You look like an idiot all the time. So it's a tough gig unless you want to go right from that to like, and no one's hiring John Kirby. Like no one, there's never going to be like the John Kirby show. Yeah.

Late night tonight. It's like, you know, the news hour with John Kirby. No one's going to hire him. So he knows that he's just gonna die after this yeah He's just kind of being like he's like a fool, but he's not press secretary He's like the Pentagon spokesman. No we do which is worse Yeah, what the Pentagon spokesman's job is to come out and then like figure out like some reason like he's seems like yeah It's a losing proposition

Pentagon one is the worst cuz he's got he's got the whole national security all of them, but the Pentagon one is the worst. No, the Pentagon's the worst, because he's got the whole national security apparatus. That he has to answer for. That he has to answer for, what everybody's doing at all times. And he doesn't even know. Yeah.

And no one cares about letting him know. But he's particularly bad at it, because he'll feign pathos sometimes. Yes, yeah. And it's like, just don't do that. I don't understand why he does. No, you desperately need someone who's had their soul surgically taken out of their body. It makes you kind of miss those just evil

No, you need you need an evil guy like a pole wolf a witch or any of those guys who used to just go Listen fuck them fuck Listen Richard Pearl remember those guys. Yeah, they'd go. Yeah, it seems like you guys just burned everyone in Mosul Yeah, and you know what they died faster than they would have if they had star Yeah, so those are your off you want you want I just almost fell back. There would have been a great moment Yeah, how'd I said something about Richard? Down so we turn the cameras down Drags me to hell

And he just drags me to hell. He just grabs my face. Right. That's the end of the episode. It's Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Perl just grabbed me to hell. And I sucked them both off. Yeah. But the thing about these Jewish neocon, no. But it's weird now because feigning humanity is such a,

they're incapable of doing it. There's a mashup of John Kirby responding to the Rafa thing Oh, yeah, and then also him like pretending to get choked up over Ukraine. He's like yeah He's like when you see some of these images That's my favorite thing cuz it's like is this water I can drink yeah, okay It's hard for actors to even do that, but you're not an actor You're an EU you're an evil person part of an evil empire That's right, and we can see you're not crying. No, you're Darth Vader

We can see you were better you'd be there's no tears coming out of your face. There's no tears in his body This is a guy. Yeah, he's like he's covered in spiders under They've they've desiccated a he Spiders under a suit and they've they've desiccated a he John car Kirby's like big regret in his life is that he's not like in the genocide room Yeah, but he's like on the outside of it like having the chat about uh-huh Yeah, he wants people to not know who he is he wants to be the guy did the whole point of those guys is People figure out what a monster you are after you've died Yeah That's was the whole thing about the national security state is people figure out what a monster you are after you've died.

That was the whole thing about the national security state. The whole thing was like, we gotta deal with the media. When I'm on my deathbed, tell everyone I did it. The sad part is, all of those guys could have just been beloved author Tom Clancy. That's right. Nobody hates. Nobody hates Tom Clancy.

Because he was never in the military. That's right. Because he never held a government position. That's right. He was just some some pardon me for saying it but who liked military time? That's right. That's all he was that's the best case scenario And that's what I'll say for on his deathbed John Kirby will look at some nurse or someone He just grow up then he goes I could have been a who just like I could have just been a guy that like 24 hours on a clock But I got involved and I had that job with your auntie part do

We had to go out tell everybody why this rafa thing works. Yeah Mr. Kirby you you shit yourself earlier in the day. Hey, that's none of your business Okay No, I'd find it hard to believe that none of you have shit your pants either next look at these young men in the Ukraine They're never gonna get a chance to shit them. So yeah, right I saw I saw a video of a Ukrainian man who sharted and it Gosh, you know what's interesting? Because you create like we there's not one soldier that we will interview in the Ukraine. Is that interesting?

Yeah, we won't get one of those people to even what happened Why is that is it because they're all kind of Nazis like there's not what you would think there? We'd have like a microphone in front of one of them. Yeah, right. We don't really bring them out I do often I think because it's like it's always Zelensky's who is a president. It's truly a nightmare over there I think the things that are happening on those battlefields are like it's cuz you're all just fucking corpses The other thing to keep in mind is they're all Russians. That's yeah Oh, I mean like yeah, some of them are Ukrainians, but it's like this is all a race of people that love dying I mean, that's right basically they're into it. These are human pitbulls

Yes, that are just this is the biggest dog fight that's ever yeah so I don't they kind of like it I would imagine they all like me and Sam talent wanted to go to Russia yeah dinner even the weather's bad that's the other thing you know there's no reason to live you watch like you see the videos coming out of Gaza and you're like well at least the beaches right now. It's hot Say is that the weather's bill be like it's 80 degrees and sunny in Gaza. Yeah, we're meanwhile Russia. It's just March It's March. It's muddy. It feels like it's the Sun's gonna come out then it doesn't yeah, it goes up to the Just comes right back down. Yeah, it's like it kind of all looks like the the Halloween town from Nightmare Before Yeah

Before Christmas yeah, yeah, it's what there's one nice place, and it's where they send everybody to die Yeah, yeah, I'm one what happened to because there was like Western people that went over there to fight there was like one Rfks kid oh really that kid Connor who dated Taylor Swift went to the Ukraine to fight with the Ukrainians There was a trans woman That went and I can't bless her. I don't know if she died or not, but well, I by the way, I hope so and it's just because It's easier to die there than to live here. Yeah the thing she has to go through here. Uh It's easier to die there than to live here. Yeah, the thing she has to go through here Better died there. Yeah, there was a better dies here There was a Texas guy that went to fight for Russia and then in the Russians ended up killing him that I like

Yeah, I like there was a family that went to live in Russia some like MAGA family that went to live in Russia and Then immediately they started like putting out Videos about how bad it is. Yeah is and then like the Russian government's like no, no, no. I mean yeah, it's like what did you think was gonna happen? This is not, they're like no, no, no, we don't, this is not part of that.

This is not like America where you go on Facebook and like threaten to kill Nancy Pelosi. We take interest here. Yeah, no, it's very funny seeing Khomeini like tweet like I stand with the college kids And it's like you would think that they would be smarter to know that that doesn't help right to have him tweet that well It's just I think For sure yeah, but I think there is just a thing now of like you can imagine him saying that and smiling a little bit Uh-huh, There's gotta be some

Like I think he just is like it's just chaos. Mm-hmm. So he's like, yeah Cuz they know nothing matters guys like Khomeini know nothing really matters kids can bang pots and pans at UCLA they know and and why is he the Supreme leader of Iran just because his name kind of sounds like the other guy's name and they look similar It's predominantly that seems worse than like a fun. It's his son. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know why it's also kind of self-racist Yes, we're like fuck a Khomeini died. Who's gonna be the oh? Well, it's kind of this sort of Sort of the same thing you don't really have to change a lot of the iconography

and the government stuff. Yeah, we'll just say, kind of, we'll just do a glissando of whatever the word is in music. Yeah, I don't know why he's the head. You know who I miss is Ahmadinejad, you remember him? Yeah, of course. He was the best. He was the best.

And then what's he doing? Where is he? So where does a guy like that go? He's just chilling I don't think you know I ran yeah Can they go anywhere else like if I'm a dinner shot goes you know what I want to live in the south of France Can that happen? Well the right ayatollah did the ayatollah lived in in France in exile before the revolution right so Can't I'm a dinner shot go like I want a place in Mallorca, Spain or something?

Or maybe not. I don't know. Maybe not. Because he was Axis of Evil, but he's out. Yeah. Now he's out. So can he just go, I want to go, I like Portugal. I would hope so.

Because that would be amazing. I would hope so. The president of Iran, like a seaside town in Portugal. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, I'm retired. Yeah. It's like everyone else. Like the like the idea of that would be cool if you retire It would be cool if he moved to Williamsburg and we say and I'm talking on TV about like talking about Williamsburg like it's 1998 Like he's funny. He's like, yeah, he's just get really getting into the music scene in Williams

Yeah, all the new stuff is happening. Yeah. Yeah, he likes it. Yeah, I like the idea of him being retired I like the idea of these dictators finally like stepping away Mm-hmm and just saying you know what like I feel like Putin is never gonna get that mm-hmm He's never gonna retire. I don't think he has to I don't think he wants it. He's just built to keep going He's like Rogan. They will never they just keep going yeah, I love the idea of retiring Yeah, well now that things aren't going well for me I'm wishing bad things for the world in general Well, no one I think things are going well for you, but I also think you're gonna get the second part. Okay, good

So I do think it's all about perception yeah, I do think that yeah the second part's coming. Uh-huh. So Yeah, well, I just want to be like well, I would have gotten a netflix deal too But you know if it wasn't for the nuclear war while the nuclear war happened the nuclear war happened Yes, I honestly I swear to god. I swear to god if north korea if iran nuked la tomorrow i'd be like That gives me a lot of cover with the Reddit guys. Now no one's gonna think I'm a loser. Just eight million people died, whew. Yeah.

You know, cause now I look, you know, I mean, if it hadn't, I'd be, that was about, they were, HBO was about to call me. Right. And then they got nuked. And they got nuked. By Iran, who I like, by the way.

And then somebody would be like, what about, don't they have offices in New York? Go listen. Yeah. It was a destabilizing event. Yeah, it just. A whole event. They, I, they had, I had left a voicemail with them saying

I agree to the terms of deal. We did all of this over voicemail. Yeah. And unfortunately the machine was in L.A. It looked very, after the the nuke everything looked very different Yeah, the whole climate all right very and they said look we're only buying shows about nukes Yeah, they wanted heavy national security stuff. I didn't have it. Yeah, and I said I saw that coming So I said I'm not even gonna try. Yeah, I'm gonna focus on what is it whatever is different back

I think it's nothing better than telling your kids going I took a step back after the nuclear I took a step back and I decided to focus on antagonizing federal law enforcement. I figured that would be Sort of my angle kind of they understood it played along. Yeah. Yeah, I thought my own took off Ruby Ridge Style form of entertainment that might be next. It's like what is next is like Ruby Ridge. Hey Nick Hey guys, this is Nick. It's my new YouTube channel pointing laser pointers at aircraft Thank you for joining me We're just teaching everyone how to do it. Yeah We got a high guys want to come and have a word with me. We got a high powered laser here

This is actually I disassembled 15 microwaves and I've turned them into a focused energy device to destroy the navigation systems of news helicopters and we're gonna try it out we're gonna see what happens coming in without even talking you're putting on headphones they just know what's happening yeah podcast with me welcome. Yeah, this is a show Your special agent Harrison. Yeah, and you're with the you're with the New Jersey. Oh, you're with the Brooklyn. Oh, yeah You grow up there. Yeah That's cool. That's a prestigious spot to be in that all they're all like on the way to you they go Why do we keep doing? Yeah. Well, this is it is the letter of the law. We have to do it.

We have to interview it. And they're like, it's not bad. It builds awareness. The Bureau actually likes it. Yeah, right. They rotate people. In the beginning, the Bureau thought it was a big waste of time.

We had a few meetings. Now they're understanding about it. But then we have a whole set where there is a fake door. It's like Mr. Rogers' neighborhood where they have to knock on the door. And I'm like, come on in. Mr. Charlie please bring please bring the target letter from the US Attorney's

Office that I received this week little train comes by it's like today's potential charges are inciting domestic terrorism and the transmission of interstate threats yeah it's it's not a bad idea. It could catch. Yeah. Because there are people that have nothing to do. Yeah. And they're the ones that are putting in that van. Yeah.

Every week. Yeah. They're sending people to you. And then every now and then you'll get a big one. They get a Ford. You'll get a John Kirby. They get a Ford 500. It's not a van.

Every now and then like a John Kirby, they go, we're going to do a special one. And then John Kirby, it's an hour with John Kirby. They send John Kirby. And you go, what am I charged with this week? He goes, I don't even know. That's theoretically possible, right? In the military, you can get busted down to doing some shit.

You could get the, they could have John Kirby. And that is what John Kirby's doing now. He's done something heinous. Where they go, you're the spokesman. And he goes, no, come on. And they go, yeah, you gotta do this. We're not explaining it. He's like, hey, I hear ya, but you can't keep sending pictures of guns

To journalists you don't like okay, so now we do things here in the United States of America Yeah that guy sucks I just want to see his skin get sucked into an escalator You know what I mean like I feel like those guys he's at risk of that He'll be on an escalator his Christmas shopping with his family, just a piece of his ankle gets caught. And it's just, yeah, just no, just the muscles and kind of, he turns to his daughter, and he's like, you excited? And she's fucking just terrified. And he's like, oh right, my skin. I have to go get my skin put back on at the doctor's. Yeah. Yeah. There's absolutely a chance. Mm-hmm.

Well, you got anything you wanna plug? Where are we at, by the way? Oh yeah, we're good, we're good. I have nothing to, I mean, you know, I do podcasts. Yeah, podcasts, Spokane, check out my new project. Nashville, maybe, come on to that. Where you doing Nashville?

Ryman. Ryman, that's where they do the grand old pussy No, the grand old operas, you know, that's where the grand master Yeah, yeah, no the grand old operas that's more tickets and I'll sell the grand old opera, but that's at Ryman, right? That's what that is. No, that's another venue. I believe in Tennessee or Georgia That's another venue, I believe, in Tennessee or Georgia?

Oh, okay, no, Tennessee, yeah. Yeah, so that's another place. I thought the Ryman was where they did, I thought Grand Old Opry was a show. The Ryman is like where Johnny Cash did something. Man, I'm glad he's dead. Thank God. He might be one of the most overrated. He'd be having lunch with John Kirby

What's that he'd be with John Kirby right now? In the Pentagon cafeteria doing a song in support of my friend John Kirby here for his birthday Yeah, but that's it I have nothing okay, well yeah Spokane I guess that next weekend other than that Yeah, thanks guys. Thanks for joining us. Thank you Yeah, I'll see you enjoyed Adam not being Adam because it would have been such a we're splitting it up now He does the premiums on patreon all interesting. I do the regulars. Yeah, he does the premiums He does the premium podcast gosh, and I do the regulars. Yeah, okay. I like that. We needed a break I feel for sure these are things that happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I like that. We needed a break. I feel for sure. These are things that happen Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's beautiful. Mm-hmm

Mix it up a bit. You enjoyed him not being here. Well, it was just a nice He was in that I like him, but it was it was this was a nice surprise Yeah, it's a little bit of a different vibe Because I will have we will have to continue podcasting at least until the lease is up Right, you know 2028. It's not that bad. I got a two-year lease, but but that's so I got another full year I got 13 months. So I got a year on my place in New York, too Yeah, the studio over there Lewis came to yeah, they asked me like do you want to do a five-year lease? No, they're crazy with the leases. They never want it to end.

They never want anything. What do you think the land state? Because commercial real estate now is in such trouble, if they have you, they go, why not seven year? It's crazy now. They go, we don't want you to ever leave. Well, it's like, I think all of these types of buildings, too, what do they call the class C building?

No idea. Class three. There's all of this commercial real estate in Manhattan that's like Just useless because it's useless to get employees to come back to the office You need it to be a newer building with like amenities It's like there's these weird warehouses where it's like an Israeli guy cutting diamonds or it'll be like you go up It's just like a furrier is like hidden in a these odd businesses that Definitely die with the person who's doing them speaking of which and I know we're already done

But I want to talk about this too Did you see that Guardian report about the the former Mossad chief threatening the last ICC? Prosecutor the ICJ prosecutor no, but that seems so out of character. Well. I read the summary I mean it does seem because like the whole presentation of the Massad, really the most exposure we've had to the Massad really is like Munich, the movie Munich. Right, it's supposed to, they shouldn't be threatening verbally. Yeah, you don't hear how they operate.

Like that's the whole point. That's the reputation of the Massad is stuff like this helicopter crash where it's like, nobody's even gonna know. No one knows. It's gonna happen and you're not even gonna know and you're gonna say that's their reputation. But then you read this thing and this guy's like coming out from behind like a broom closet. He's like being like, oh, I guess you don't learn to make that report, do you?

You know? To the fucking, to the ICC prosecutor. And it's like he's just being like an annoying, like, you know, to the fucking, to the ICC prosecutor. And it's like, he's just being like an annoying, you know, he's like sideshow Bob, basically. Well, that's the future of all intelligence agencies, will be just people who annoy. But that's the history of intelligence, you forget about that, that like during World War II,

it's just like, World War II seems like this big dramatic thing. Really, it's kind of science's fault, because it seems very complicated the idea of making an atomic bomb they manage that and this the seriousness and the intellect they required to make the atomic bomb makes the rest of the war the whole other thing seemed like this very like serious adult thing that happened right but really it was just

no the science thing that advanced humanity and the rest of it is just a bunch of like And now we have the paraglider Yes, if you think about yeah, yeah, we've come uh-huh We've come from the atomic bomb to something that guys in Malibu do every Sunday. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah Um well, I guess the only point is that like all of the the what do they call it tradecraft or spying all this? OSS stuff right it was just lose It was just like dorks guys that weren't good at shooting guns Yeah, and they had gone to Yale

so they're like we're gonna invent spying and then what the spying amounted to is like We're just gonna help the Nazis get jobs after the war ends and it's natural conclusion They're just a headhunter for just to put Nazi scientists and good jobs, right? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and then the CIA spent like fucking another 30 years eating itself alive I think for guys who were the military, but are also closeted gay. Mm-hmm So they're like I will suck off people all over the world. It used to be that's like that's what's crazy is like that's like a Well, it used to be that's like that's what's crazy is like that's like a Argument against homophobia is like think about all the bad shit that happened just because you weren't allowed to be gay

Right, and that's what fucking Roy Cohn's job was was just be like, oh you're gay. Well, you better fucking Sign off on you know all of this evil shit and now they do the same thing with pedophiles which I don't I think they should we should Keep that we should keep that in the box and right. Yeah, if we had just let John Kirby be gay. Yeah. Yeah Yeah Thank you for having John Kirby could be gay with a clone of himself. Yes. I think is what he wants I would love that is another a guy man And they a guy's skinless man a guy named Kirby John and he's like the Luigi version of him and then they share a bed They should they have a sexless relation and they still have to deal with the Haitian

Press secretary. Yeah, right. I'm how they still have tried They produce still plays a role in their life like the landlord is like the resentment He has towards her the racial the two of them are two of them are like bananas in pajamas. They're fun. And she's the landlord that comes in. There's something good about it. And she's fucking throwing their utensils and banana stuff all over the place. They're like, get out of here. Something like that. Hopefully.

Well, I feel like I have brain damage. It's too late in the day to think. Yes. Thank you for joining. Thank you. Thanks for coming. Hopefully we do it again. I can't believe this is the first time you've even been here I know we're always doing other people's things together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but we've brought down a lot of podcast networks with our

Yeah, I gotta have a lot of our special shows have tanked a lot of that I've made plans with Lewis for him to come through multiple times and then just destroyed serious XM Yes, is what what serious doing? I don't know but they should still offer us that show. Yeah We should go back in now. Here's what would be great We all go back in now after we've all done good and they still say no I mean like this Howard Howard Stern still there, right? He's still there Yeah, and they still pay him eight hundred billion dollars a year or whatever

They pay him it's he gets a quarter of all the weapons that go to Israel. Yeah, he gets all that money Yeah, yeah, yeah, 25% of the weapons buys Israel go to him. That's their new deal that they've just made That's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I just don't know how they afford that because it's like what is they don't even have the stock scam It's all fake. It's all rental cars, but they don't have them in the rental cars anymore. That's Then I don't know because that was this fraud for the last 10 years that was it was the rental cars But you know, they're not well, then yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know then the trickery has reached another line Do they have their own central bank where they're just I mean, I guess that's yeah, I don't know. That's good question

Yeah, Siri the bank of serious except yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. All right. Well Thanks guys. Thanks Tim Spokane. You don't mind. Thanks. Good night