The Adventure Zone - Ep. 43. The Eleventh Hour - Chapter Three

Episode Date: June 30, 2016

Our heroes start to get a hang of the difficult business of repetition as they learn more about Refuge and the events that led the town to such a sorry state. How much catastrophe can they undo in 60 minutes? Certainly they can't make things worse -- can they? Taako burns some spell slots. Magnus goes Over the Top. Merle's evangelism is met with the usual reception. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously on the Adventure Zone. The fifth grand relic, the temporal chalice, or chalice, depending on just sort of what region you're from. We discovered this anomaly several weeks ago. It is a force field. This town, just to kind of give you an idea of the aesthetic, is very old western. And it says on this gate, by their sacrifice, our home is made safe. And this statue depicts three figures.

A small human girl. She is holding hands with a large, broad, bearded human man. This figure standing behind them is wearing a robe, a bright crimson red. Oh. I'm called Roswell. Ooh, great. Is Roswell the name of you, the bird, or the big fella that you're riding on? I don't see why it's important that you distinguish between the two.

Have you heard the word of pan today? No, what's a pan? It is an explosion. You see smoke coming through the windows of the bank. As the clock strikes noon and you're being crushed by the shattered earth as it compresses down into the ground. And all three of you have died. And you see that old woman again. You'll have to do much better than that, loves.

Okay, campers, rise and shine. And don't forget your booties because it's cold out there today. It's the adventure zone. You wake up and you're not dead anymore. Great. Yay, we did it. If you were dead, you were dead for just a bit, just a second. But you've woken up from that white space and you are laying on the ground. And when you look up, there's refuge.

And it's undistroyed. We did it. You did in a very circuitous way, I guess, save the town. But you're... Another victory for the... For the, we don't have a cool nickname, do we? We really need a cool nickname. I also don't think another works.

What about the thrifty three? That doesn't make any sense. Trace Horny Boys. Yeah. Trace Horny Boys. No one say that aloud ever again, please. Trace Horny Boys, you don't want to say that aloud again? It's unfortunate, Justin.

Everything you say on this show becomes canon. Trace Horny Boys, you've woken up and there's refuge. It's not destroyed. You're in front of the intrigate, where you woke up. yesterday, I guess, and standing under that gate is a big red clay animated earth elemental onion night with a bird on its shoulder who says... Do we still remember everything that happened? You absolutely remember everything that happened.

And this, uh, Roswell says, Hello, visitors, please identify yourselves. Hello, Roswell, uh, not much time to talk. We're here for an appointment. with Sheriff Isaac. How did you know... How did you know... Sorry? How did you know my name and Sheriff Isaac's name?

Sheriff Isaac, we spoke with him beforehand, and he imported us to come here. He helped open the way, and he would like us to meet with him at the sheriff's office, if you could take us there. We did it on LinkedIn. I would like everyone to know, while this is happening, Magnus is just, like, slowly turning and staring at Taco. This is the most competent thing Taco has done. Why don't you make a...

This would be a charisma check. Let me consult the list of skills. Oh, no. Not that. You need skill with that. Griffin, is there a metric like there was in fourth edition where we can, like, assist in a check? Can we be charismatic with Taco with lots of smiles and winking? I...

You can... I mean, if you can come up with a way narratively to do so, I might give Taco advantage. If you have something, for instance, Taco's going to make this role because he's, like, led the charge. But if you can think of some other little juicy nug to, like, aid in this,

then, yeah, I'll let you do it. Okay. We can always overwhelm them with numbers. Yeah. You know, so, like, if the story starts to fly, one of us can jump in. This would be, let's do persuasion, juice. Okay, wait.

Magnus says, uh, yeah, Sheriff Isaac mentioned you were having some problems with some renegades, some, uh, bandanaed fellows and was wondering if we might be able to help out. Okay. Okay, I thought I had that situation under control, but, um, okay, Tago, go ahead and make that roll and take advantage on it.

Okay, that is a 14 or 20. Whoa! Nat 20? No, Nat 20. Okay, yeah, you, uh... I love you. It's, please have my babies. Um, it's unconventional that Sheriff Isaac would reach out like that to, I mean, it's so rare that we

We have visitors for under any circumstances, but especially for, you know, security purposes. Let me ask you this. Is there anything conventional about this situation? That's a great point. Okay. I guess come with me. I haven't actually seen Sheriff Isaac today, but I'm sure he'll turn up. You can just wait at the office for now. Excellent. Thank you so much. Lead the way. So here is how this arc is going to work. And I want to lay it out straight with you, fellas, because I, what the last thing that I want to do is have you guys just do the same shit over and over and over again. What you have just done, now that you have bluffed your way past Roswell, now that you've, like, figured out a way to do that and executed it, you can just do that now in any future loop.

Okay. And that makes sense. I'm not going to make you guys do the same roles over and over and over and over again. in the same sense, if you can sort of build an hour of good loops, like I will let you also kind of fast forward to whatever point you need to, assuming that you have a way to get there based on the things that you've accomplished in the past, which is going to be like, it's going to be a bit abstract to keep track of, but I think it's the only way to do this.

Otherwise, we're going to hear the same thing over and over again. Over and over again. And that's just going to be really, really bad radio. Yeah, yeah. I am going to try. Dad, you know something about bad radio, right? Right? Do you have any advice for Griffin? Let me tell you about bad radio, everybody.

Hi. Oh, boy. Hi, it's time for some bad radio. As the DM of this arc, I'm going to do my best to keep everything, to keep everything sort of straight and make sure that everybody's doing the same shit every time. If I slip up, it's not me like dropping hints or whatever. It's an honest to God screw up. Because this hour is this arc. Got it.

I also kind of, this is also a bit unconventional, but in order to give you a bit of direction, I don't want you guys just kind of flailing in the wind. I wanted to lay out some objectives for the arc, just so they're a bit clear. I think I know one of them. One of them is to recover the temporal chalice and get it out, get it out of town and take it back to it. We also, are we going to make Andy McDowell fall in love with us? That is a subquest, and I'll give you an extra. Are we going to ruin Chris Elliott's life?

Ruin Chris Elliott's life, you'll get extra experience with that. Um, no, you also, I already did. Just ask him about it. It's all he'll fucking talk about anymore. Um, you also need to figure out, uh, in addition to getting the grand relic. You need to figure out what caused this bubble to pop up around town, um, and sort of discover the, the mystery of the bubble. Um, the other thing you need to do is figure out what is destroying the town and try to stop it. And we have an hour of time in game.

to do that? Is in game, does an hour pass? Or is it that we have an hour of recording? Oh, God, no, we can't do an hour of recording time. I saw some people asking about that in the Reddit. We can't do it like that, or else this thing would go on forever. I want you guys, like, going through mad loops. Those two objectives are I laid out of figuring out what the bubble is and figuring out what's stopping the, figuring out what's destroying the town.

Not as important as the third one, but they will, I will tell you, they will help get you there. Got it. That being said, you are walking into town with Roswell, and you know the layout now. You guys can consult the map at any point. I'll just assume you all three have photographic memories. Roswell, can I ask you a question? Yeah, go ahead. Sheriff Isaac mentioned in his communication us that he was worried about some of the more vulnerable targets in town, specifically the bank.

What kind of security are we looking at around the bank? Is there any way we could go see the layout and make sure that everything's secure? That's really suspicious. You know that, right? Hey, let me see the blueprints to the bank. That's what you just asked, basically. No, no, no.

Just instead of heading straight to the office, you said yourself that you didn't think Sheriff Isaac was there. Would you mind if we just kind of like walked around town and looked for him? I pull out a gun and I shoot the two of them and shoot myself. Starting again. He says, no, I don't, I believe. of you that Sheriff Isaac reached out to you, but I don't know you guys. You haven't told me your names yet, which is a bit rude. Magnus Burnside's. He can call me the hammer.

Pleasure. I think it would be best if you just kind of waited at the office for now, okay? Okay. He watched you to the office. It's about 1105. Right now, you can see as you walk into town, you can see the clock tower from above and turns you towards the sheriff's office, which when you walk in, it's just as you remember it, it's there's the destroyed chance. chairs. It's Roswell's desk. There's Cassidy in the jail cell at the end. Map hanging on the wall, just as you left it. Well, is Roswell about to leave? It doesn't seem like it. Roswell walks in and sits down on their chair, which kind of creaks and moans under their weight. I'm trying to stick with the they pronoun for Roswell. I keep fucking that up. I want to see what dad plays a lot of like open world RPGs. I'm curious what dad thinks we should do first. We obviously are stuck in this

location for a while, right? Well, I mean, I got magic and shit. If you want to leave, just say the word. I think we, I think we, I think we need to get some more information out of Roswell. And, and then I think we need to get some more information out of, uh, jailbird Betty. Cassidy?

Yeah, Cassidy. Uh, and I also keep in my, you're asking me, I may, you don't, I mean, I'm thinking about casting zone of truth, but I don't know. It's been a while. I would think, and I'm not sure, I don't know if zone of truth, and you may have to refer to your cards, I don't know if zone of truth.

Truth would work on Roswell. Does Zona Truth compel truth, or does it just stop people from lying? I don't know. I think those two are similar enough that it wouldn't really matter mechanically. Roswell's going to actually ask you first. They say, so why did Sheriff Isaac reach out to you? Are you guys like fixers or something? Why are you?

What do you? Let me lay it out. There's only like five of those guys of the bandits. And they're dicks, but they're not especially dangerous. Can I ask you a five that you know of, Roswell? I mean, there's only like a little over 100 people living in a refuge. I'm pretty sure if given enough time, I could kind of list them all out by name. And how long have you been looking for these five and how many of them have you arrested?

That's a good point. That's a good point. Asked and asked and answered. Look, let me tell you a little something. No. You don't want that to be the new voice? Okay, let me ask you this. Isn't it possible that maybe you don't have the sheriff's confidence totally?

I mean, he brought us in. Shit, we're just going to dismantle this. And you haven't arrested anybody. You know, Roswell, maybe you just ain't getting the job done. Yeah, I guess I've, you know, I'm not the fastest in the world. So, I mean, it's hard to catch him sometimes. Certainly you can relate to that. Think about this.

You're what, one-year-old, Max? There's no way that you'd be, have the cunning to arrest these kinds of. I kind of feel like I'm getting dunked on a little bit here. Think of us as consultants. Sure. We're here to help you. We want to make you look good. It's your lead.

It's your show, baby. You hear from down the street, boom, boom. And the sound of some furniture getting tossed around. It sounds like a scuffle is happening down the street. And Russell says, oh, let's see if I'm competent enough to handle this. Yeah, let's go check it out.

Yeah, I guess we can, I guess y'all can come along. We'll go with. Just stay behind me and let me lead the charge because you guys don't really technically have any authority here yet. Sure. Yeah, you go. Let the slowest guy lead the charge. Go for it. You go outside with Roswell.

You can see up on the clock, it's 1110. And just like the last loop, you see some dudes in purple kerchiefs that have been blasted out into the street, out of the front door of the Davey. lamp the local saloon. And when they see you all coming, they turn tail and just hoof it. Start huffing it down the street, back towards the intrigate, and then they turn a sharp right into some buildings. Do I have a chance to bow and arrow somebody? Yeah, sure if you want.

Yeah, I'm going to bow and arrow and aim for a calf. It's Grizzly. Debilitating. That's his name? And that's a 17 plus 8, so 25. Okay. Yeah. you hit one of them in the calf, and they don't like taking that damage.

And you get them just as they're like turning the corner around the building, and you hear him yell, like, oh, dang it. That was 1d6, that's a 6 plus 2, so it's 8 damage in case it matter. So it's more like, oh, dang it. Eight damage is pretty good. Yeah. They don't fall, you know, to the ground, crying, yelling, okay, arrest me now. And they've sort of run out of sight.

Oswald was going to keep on chasing them down the street, though. Stay on the hunt. I'm feeling kind of thirsty. Okay. Yeah? Let's, uh, head into the... We haven't worried about food or drink so far in the game, but I guess now we will. Let's head into the, uh, I wouldn't be opposed to a, uh, uh, a refreshment.

Okay. Um, I was trying to think of like a fancy. Yeah, but it sounded like we're skiffing. Yeah. A Pilsner. A Pilsner. That's great. Let's go into the Davey lamp.

Oh, maybe they have the, the honey. Mead. What was it for that Noelle made? Red cheek, uh, that, that good, good red cheek sauce. I forget what it was. I'm going to have a Harvey Wallbanger. It would actually be called, uh, their brand was apple sauce. It was like a fun play on words, but it was like really strong booze. Okay. Just made of apples. Okay. Yeah, you, uh, you walk in through those old timey saloon doors into the Davey lamp. Um, and despite the fact that it seems like a, like kind of a, uh, uh, kerfuffle just happened in here. it doesn't seem like anybody was really paying it any mind, because this kerfuffle happened like 30 seconds ago, and there are no signs of fight happened. So it kind of seems like those

two ruffians kind of just got their asses handed to them very efficiently. I want to step in here, just so anyone listening is like, why did Magnus shoot that person with the arrow and then knew nothing about it? I've got a thing called lens of straight creeping that lets me follow people, follow tracks. So like, I would be following the scuffling one in case. I need to. No, that works. Okay. And it's so Magnus, just shooting somebody. Yeah. It's also,

maybe you just wanted to hurt someone. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't gotten to hurt anyone so far in the episode and 1.10th, we've recorded. Sure. Okay. But you make your way into the Davy lamp. There's maybe about a dozen people in here. Are you saying baby lamp? You got a map right there.

Okay, but Davy lamp. Okay. That was like an old-timey lamp. that was less flammable that miners would use. You just blew it out away. Now the sun has become the dad. I blew dad away with the... Congratulations on your dad promotion.

Look at me. Look at me. I'm the dad now. Take it. This shit sucks. Just wait. Let me describe the scene a little bit. There's a piano.

There's a guy playing the piano. There's about a dozen people here. Most of whom are just kind of sitting around. on tables drinking. There is an elf wearing a really slick-looking poncho who is playing poker. They're not playing poker. They're playing like some card game that you've never really seen before one-on-one. It is a one-on-one game that they're playing against some other non-essential NPC.

And then there's the bartender who is polishing. Oh shit, this is going to be... She is a dark elf woman who is holding a a magic rod which is like halfway between a wand and a staff that seems like... Imagine like gun smoke is coming off of it.

You can tell Taco that this rod was just used to kick the asses of those two guys. This rod was just used to kick the asses of those two guys. How did you know that? I don't know. Arcane of my friends. Hey, can there be a shuffleboard game? Please, please, please, please, please.

One of those shuffleboard games with the sawdust, please. There's one of those shuffleboard games with the sawdust, but it's one of them that, like, one of the legs is a little short, and so the game is just absolutely not fun to play. Oh. Fire an ice, baby, that's me. That's how I do it, come in to hot and cold. But anyway, it is a lively scene that as soon as you walk in becomes a not lively scene.

And despite the fact that a apparent, an apparent, bar fight did not interrupt the flow, the party flow in this spot. But the three of you walking in definitely does. Wait, are you telling me that they're not being rustically hospitable to me? In this, in this exact moment, no, they're not being mean to you. They just look at you with shock. Um, bearing in mind that this is a town that like a hundred people live in and hey, here's three new people. Hail and well met. Yeah. No. I go to the bartender. Saunter. Sunter. I saunter. That's good, dad. I saunter. to the bar.

Listen, I just wanted to say that was a heck of a shot. I love magic too. Oh, my God. It's actually taco. You're taco. Yeah, I'm taco. You're the taco. Oh, well, it's always nice to meet a fan.

The magical, the magical chef. I saw your show in the under dark. Yeah, magic chef, that was me. When you play the underdark, you, oh my God, you, you like, You're my inspiration. That was the Keish Lorraine, wasn't it? That was the Keish Lorraine, I'll never forget. That was the first thing I ever cooked.

You, like, inspired me to start cooking. You helped me get out of the underdark. That's, what are you doing here? Well, I'm bringing the show to you. I'm on tour, I guess. And with me and my friends here, we're, we're, I'm sort of doing, I guess you could call it some undercover work. You know, we're fixers. the sheriff brought us in to sort of investigate how things are going here at the town.

It sounds like there's a little bit of trouble. We're just trying to figure out the lay of the land. Madam, we did not catch your name. What was your name? I'm W. You look familiar too. Have we met? No.

All right. R-E-N or W-R-E-N? Just R-E-N. How about R-E-N-N? Then there could be a foot-lose connection. No. Nope. No.

No. No. Okay. Brandon, if you ever had any carpentry work done? What a ridiculous? That's kind of a ridiculous question. I know, but I can't think of where else we would have met. I don't know.

Is it about the three of us fucking playing Dungeons and Dragons? We're just the basic keystones of human conversation just like instantly. Go right out the window. No, I'm playing Magnus. He's not charismatic. Do you need anything fixed? Like, that's not care. There's nothing less charismatic to that.

I tell you what, I have an idea. What's your name? What is your name, though? Magnus Burnside's. Let's go play some shuffleboard and let Taco talk to the lady. Uh, Rin, can I just talk to Taco real quick, just one second? Yeah, sure. Hey, Magnus, I feel like being hospitable to you for some reason.

Hey, thanks. I get that a lot. It's the sideburns. Um, hey, Taco. Yeah. How long ago was your show in the under dark? Um, let's see. see it was it was about uh your show in the under dark was about six years ago six years ago

the the horrific event that caused you to stop doing the show the big poisoning that was like five years ago got it okay um taco ask her how long ago she saw that show in the under dark okay i'll uh i'll give it a shot um do you want to just uh i'll just talk to her and get the lady i'm gonna i'm gonna head to the piano Who wants to arm wrestle my buddy? He can whip every ass in here. Oh, that's good. That's rustically hospitable.

I thought that'd be good. I'll pay big money anybody who can outarm wrestle my pal magnet. Let's do two quick scenes because I do want to follow up on that. Okay. Taco, let's do this conversation between you and Ren first. Great. When did you remind me? How long ago was that?

Do you remember me? There weren't that, I mean, it was the underdarks. There weren't that many people interested in watching a cooking show. Right, but how long, I mean, was that, it was about, I don't know, not that, about a couple of years ago, it was shortly before I came here. A couple years ago, right, yeah, that sounds right. Can I get you anything to drink or anything? Oh, here, I know what I can do.

She reaches down under the table and gets a key for you and hands it to you and says, please, you guys are new in town, it seems like, and you could probably use a place to stay. So why don't you use the room upstairs for a while? Check-in is at noon. so just wait around until then and just go ahead and drop off your stuff. It's our best room. And God, I wish that we had something nicer. I'm sorry, I'm kind of geeking out right now. Check-ins at noon?

Yeah. Okay, well, why don't you go ahead and hold on to the key for me for a little bit? I'll come back and get it. See you at No-1. I'll be here at 1201 prom. Is your early check-in? So can I ask a weird question? And this is going to sound like a complete outsider.

But I think you get me enough to know that I'm sort of on the level with this. Yeah. What is with the bubble, right? Yeah. It popped up a little over a year ago. And I don't know. I'm sort of ambivalent about it. Like, obviously it keeps us safe from the dangers of outside and all that.

But I feel a little cooped up from time to time. Right. Yeah. But I don't know. Things were not actually going. How long has it been since you've been outside the bubble? Nobody goes outside the bubble. Right.

Okay. Good. Has anybody ever left? Not that I know of. Yeah. No, I don't think so. Yeah, I popped up a little over a year ago. I mean, things weren't so great in refuge before it went up.

We were, it was a, you know, it was a little quiet mining town for a while. Well, it was a loud mining town for a while. Sure, with the mining. We did diamonds at a big mother load underneath refuge that dried up pretty quickly. And when it dried up, the town kind of dried up. And things weren't going so great. And honestly, things have gotten a bit better when the bubble went up. We're all, like, pretty nice to each other.

It's a pretty safe, chill place to live. So it went up a year ago. But before that, everybody just sort of came and went as they pleased, huh? Yeah, sure. I mean, it was a town. Sure, a town. I mean, don't get up any. you live in a bubble.

That is fair. Like, I don't think, I don't think there's any such thing as a stupid question. You live in a bubble. No, it's,

it's an, it's an unconventional way to live, definitely. So, what do you think about Sheriff Isaac? What's the story there? He seems like a good dude to me. Yeah,

he's pretty good. Um, a lot of people preferred the, the last elder, um, Jack, but, you know,

him, him and June, um, they, but they, they, they died and by, by their sacrifice.

down is made safe um and all that but i like sheriff isaac all right he's it he's not uh you know i'm a bartender i run a bar and it's important for me to keep like kind of a fun kind of a fun flirty atmosphere going in here um and like kind of a sourpuss like him doesn't exactly lend itself to that but uh yeah i you know he does he's doing his best yeah you don't want everybody to head into that other bar that's a okay no that's fair i think i'm just like you're trying too hard i think you could take it easy and you'll be fine. Jack and Jane

are the ones in the statue. Jack and June. Jack and June. Jack and June are the ones on the statue? Yeah. That's them. I want to do the arm wrestling scene. That elf in the poncho

motions you Merle and Magnus over. And the big, big, big guy that this elf in the poncho is playing cards with, the elf motions and says, I would love to watch you arm wrestle this guy here. And the guy he motions too is, it's a Goliath, which is a race in D&D 5E. That is, as the name might denote, a big race. I enjoy wagers.

So how much you willing to bet on your horse there, dwarf guy? I don't know. I mean, you're sure you want to take that on. the guy, your guy looks pretty much like a wimp compared to my boy Magnus. Isn't that right, big fella? Yeah. I mean, that's just factually inaccurate.

You can look at it. I mean, he's pretty big there, Merle. No. It is not nearly as good as that when you whip that Clark guy arm wrestling. Remember that, buddy? Show him, show him the pecks. Show him.

Do you show him the pecs? Do you show him the pecs summer boy? Yeah. what? I do. Fuck it. Manas, rushes and show him the pecks I sit down at the table. Okay. Yeah. I'll make you a deal. The Goliath also flexes, and he has four pecks. I'll make you a deal. How about we play for information?

That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard, and I have to be honest, it's not especially interesting to me. Oh, okay. Sorry, I thought that you were a gambler, but you're a coward. That's fine. Okay. Well, that also works as well. But if we gamble gold and you gamble information I'm not really interested in gold We have a strictly diamond-based economy here Well, I meant diamonds, of course Okay

Yeah, I would do Let's do, why don't I do both? I'll put up ten diamonds on my boy here What do you say? Yeah, I'll match even odds I'll put ten diamonds up I mean, I lean in tomorrow We don't have diamonds

I know, and you're also not going to be able to beat him. Yeah, and everything ends in 45 minutes anyway, so fuck it. So why are we talking out of the sides of our mouths like this? All right. Yeah, sounds good. Ten diamonds and information. Okay, the elf and the, uh, this Goliath accepts your bet.

And, uh... I put up the hand with phantom fist on it. Okay. I don't know. Come on. That's come on. There could be some kind of power glove. There could be a Nintendo power glove.

Hey, I'm not doing that. And the elf says, would you remove the glove, please? It smells really bad under there. The classic, my glove smells bad play. Sunshine's the best disinfectant. Let's, come on. All right, I remove the glove. Okay.

Are you, so we're arm wrestling then? Yeah, I guess so. Do you have any awareness of this? This is happening simultaneously with my- Yeah, this is happening behind your back. Good. I'm good at here. Oh, God.

Is there any way I can cast? something without everybody knowing it? You can cast something whether or not nobody knows it is... It actually would be... I think it would be dependent on the... The type of... Yeah, some of it is verbal. Some of it is material-based. If it can put it as a V on it, then it's verbal, which I guess you can do a...

I don't know. I have an idea. Under your breath, be like, super strength. No. Fellow says you may know, I am a man of the cloth. the cloth. I don't know anything. I don't know fuck all about you. I know. That's why I'm here. I'm here to spread the word of pan. So before we indulge in this athletic competition, may I say a quick blessing, please? No, no. I put my hand on, that's not. I put my hand on Magnus's

shoulder. Okay. Just charging straight ahead and start mumbling some mumbo-jumbo, but as I do that, I cast Bull's strength on him from enhanceability. Okay. Amen. I think it's only fair that I am allowed to pray to my God as well, the elf says, and they put their hand on this big Goliath. Okay, are we ready to wrestle or what? Yeah, you know what? Amen. Bull strength. It's, it, um, you gain this effect until the spell ends.

Great. Hold on. Hold on. It is a spell. And when you have it, you got it. When you get the spell When you get the spell It does that thing to you

While the spell is All along You have advantage on strength checks Okay Okay So he has advantage on strength Am I gonna roll first Or is Glythe's gonna go first

I already rolled You go ahead Okay Well I thank God for advantage Because that was an 11 That was a 19 8 so 27 This Goliath rolled a 29

Tits Slammed your arm down Horde on 29 to 27 You think that slams it down, Griffin? I think a 29 can do whatever the hell it pleases So there was no way

I was going to beat this Goliath Not the way that this situation went down, no Slams you down We'll get him again next time It was It's not bad, but I've had better And the elf says

diamonds please double or nothing they hold out their hand yeah let's double or nothing before let's just cash out what do you say diamonds please oh okay well do you guys want to run away

is that why you want to cash out do you not have 20 diamonds if so then that's fine do you not have 10 diamonds yeah we got 10 diamonds pal yeah we're willing to keep playing you guys are the ones who want to walk away so we're sportsmen

the sportsman the Goliath with a single hand like picks up the table in between you and like lifts it in the air and sort of sets it down at his side so there's nothing between you and says uh i think i'd like those ten diamonds now my hand goes to my sword you don't have uh your rapier mm-hmm okay all right if we're doing this thing let's fucking do this thing no no i didn't draw it my hand just goes to it no that was the goliath if we're gonna do this thing let's fucking do this thing he says and stands up so you'd rather fight than arm wrestle.

I'm going to hop back into that other scene because I think at this point Wren sees what's going on and says, hey, hey, cut that shit out, give them their diamonds and get out of here. If you're going to cause Taka, are these guys with you? No. Give them their diamonds. Okay, sounds great.

Magnus runs out of the building. Okay. Okay, Dwarfman, you better have those diamonds or else we're going to have problems. Magnus yells back. I've got to go to bank and get them. They're in my other pants. Hi everybody. This is Griffith Macroix. Your dungeon master, your best friend,

your personal chef. Have some asparagus. I cook the asparagus for you to eat. Thanks for listening to episode 43 of the Adventure Zone and the third episode of the 11th hour arc. I really hope that we can sort of fulfill the promise that we made in the last episode trying to do some Groundhog's Day shit. It's been very difficult to plan and even more difficult to execute, but I'm hoping we can turn a dumb, fun story out of it. I want to thank everybody who's been tweeting about the show using the Zonecast hashtag. It's pretty amazing how many people came out after last week's episode. I didn't know how people were going to receive it, and the reception was astonishing. Thank you all so much. If you tweet about

the show using the Zonecast hashtag, you might end up as a character in the show. You might end up like Rin. That's Ren Frey on Twitter. You might end up as Paloma, who you're about to meet. That's Paloma Church of Fear on Twitter. You might end up as Brogden. That's Megan Brogden, who you're also about to meet, or you've already met, because time travel shit is going to get pretty whack, pretty fast. Anyway, just tweet about the show. You can end up like one of those characters as a character. I have a few messages here to read out on the show. If you want to get a message on the adventure your zone just go to maximum fun.org slash jumbo-tron. You can find out how to do it there.

This message is from John Helgerson and Emily Bennett, and it's to Daniel and Jordan Kinniston. John and Emily say to Daniel and Jordan, yo, guys, we are so happy that you were involved in our wedding from helping John propose in Japan to officiating in Reno. We hope we can get together soon to play more games and beat Hans at more trivia. You guys are the best and we love you. That is a cool little intercontinental love. thing you got going on there. Congratulations on your recent wedding and congratulations on having two good

friends like John and Emily to help you out and put your name up on the big marquee atop the Adventure Zone Theater. I have a call to action here. I want you to go to who is monkeier. Now that's M-O-N-K-I-E-R. I thought it was moniker for a long time, but that's just how my brain is wired. Anyway, go to Who Is Monkeyer.com to listen to the band Monkey Year's new album, Hys Lows. Monkeier, you see, is an eight-piece hip-hop band from Atlanta with a four-piece horn section, a guitarist slash rapper, and dope beats. They use jazz fusion and electronic influences. I don't know why I said that word that way, to make something fresh. Here's a little clip from one of their songs.

I agree. That's pretty fucking fresh. Again, Who Is Monkeyer.com? check out the album highs slash lows. There's a slash in there. I don't know if you're supposed to verbalize it, but I tried both ways to just kind of hedge my bets. One last message here. This one is for The Horrible Shrike, and it's from Harris Bear, who says, since you somehow convinced Emily to marry you at a Mbim Bam Live show, it seems fitting to offer congratulations on your impending nuptials via another McElroy product. You're a spike monster, the king of the hill people,

hater of the year every year, and after 10 years of friendship, I'm proud to be your best man. P.S. for the podcast. I don't know which proposal that was. I don't know if it was the Milwaukee Proposal Fest or one of the other live show proposals that our listeners have been kind enough to let us share with them over the years. But in any regards, congratulations on your upcoming wedding. And I hope it all goes real well. If you get a chance and you're looking for more podcasts to go listen to, go check out maximum fun.org. There's a ton of shows on this network that we belong to. They're all amazing.

The network's been really great to us, and there's so much good stuff on there, stuff like Jordan Jesse Go and getting curious and stop podcasting yourself and throwing shade and can I pet your dog? Like so many good shows, all at maximum fun.org. If you want to hear other podcasts that we do, just go to macroyshows.com,

and you can find out all the podcasts we do, all the video stuff we do, and how to get in touch with us. Oh, speaking of, I'm going to mention here on this podcast because I've done it on the other podcasts, I just opened a PO box here in Austin, I know some people send Justin and Travis stuff from time to time and have asked me how to get stuff to me, postcards, wedding invites, whatever.

I got a P.O. Box 66639, Austin, Texas, 78766. Again, P.O. Box 66639, Austin, Texas, 78766. Hit me up. Let's chat. Well, it's not a chat. It's a one-way male discourse. But anyway, I'm going to let you get back to the episode now. Thank you all so much for listening. The next episode is going to be up on July 14th. And then we are going to be doing our live show in Boston the day after that, July 15th. The plan for that, I think, is to hold on to it and tell, I don't know if you talked about this on this podcast. Travis and I are both with our respective wives expecting. We're both having babies.

And so come this holiday season, we're going to need to fill up the old podcast feed with some extra stuff while we're are on paternity leave. But yeah, we're going to be live in Boston on the 15th. Super excited. I can't wait to see some of the faces of people who've been tweeting about the show for so long. Yeah, it's going to be great. Anyway, here comes the rest of the episode. Bye.

Suddenly, an earthquake. I am running towards the bank. That is what I was doing. Okay. It is 1130, which is earthquake o'clock. There is a short but powerful tremor that rattles the whole town. Merlin Taco, or what are you guys, what are you doing? Are you just hanging out in the bar? I'm like, chilling. I'm asking Ren, like, does that happen a lot?

No, that was weird. She's scooping up some broken glass that's on the floor. Some bottles have fallen down. Some glasses have been knocked over. There's some broken glass on the floor. She says, no, I don't, I'm sorry, I need to take care of this. So, Is there anything else I can help you figure out? What's the... Real quick. The bubble we talked about. Do you have any idea what's making it?

Like, did somebody cast a spell at some point? Or does it seem to emanate from anywhere? Is there any place you're not allowed to go? Any ideas? I mean, I don't know. It's... I don't know. What caused it was Jack and June, their sacrifice, you know, making...

What was the sacrifice? Well, I don't like... about it's pretty sad. I like them both a lot. Um, but June, June liked to play in the mines and she got lost and, um, Jack went to find her and then they fell and died. And right when that happened, that's, that's when the bubble popped up. So, so they were, I mean, they were in the quarry, I guess. I mean, I guess if we're trying to figure out like where it originates, like, that's, that would be it, I guess. I, you know, where three figures in the statue? Yeah, well, there was the, there was the visitor that brought them, um, that brought them to, to, to

refuge. So wait, the visitor brought them to refuge and then Jack was made the elder? Yeah, he was really great. He was a really great guy. The elder before ran the mines. And so when that dried up, they, you know, there wasn't a lot for, for them to do. You know, you, you should talk to. By the way, this is only, this conversation is only happening with Taco, because Merle, you are, unless you run away or do something, you are still in the, on the hook for those diamonds. You should talk to Paloma. Who's Paloma? She's great.

She lives out in the woods. A lot of people don't love that she's just kind of out there doing her own thing. But she's really good at helping people kind of figure out, you know, get their bearings, so to speak. She's a witch. She's a witch. Okay. Yeah, that's the witch's thing. She's a witch.

Okay. Yeah. Hey, can I have that key? We'll come back a little later and get our stuff all checked in. Uh, yeah, sure, here you go. Janzy the key. Merle, what are you doing? Diamonds, diamonds, diamonds.

I have to agree with my accomplice here, diamonds. You know, fellas, wealth is not important. It's more important to have spiritual diamonds. You know what I'm saying? Laying up those diamonds. Uh, the Goliath has grabbed you by the ankles and is now shaking you, uh, violently. Uh, uh, to try and make diamonds come out of you.

I poop a diamond. Wait, what? No, that is a dwarf racial feature. That's a dwarf racist feature. The people's racist grandpa saying about dwarfs. Put me down. Let me handle this. Go ahead.

Put me down. Okay. He puts you down. Okay. I hold up my tree hand. Okay. Do you see this? Yeah.

Now, you see me raise it in the air? Yep. You see me moving it back? and forth. Are you trying to hypnotize me or something? No, no. Do you see it waving back and forth? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

See ya, and I turn and run. Okay. All right. These guys, huh? You know what? I'll catch him. I got to run after him. All right.

It's a little bit after 1130. You see Roswell, who doesn't see you walking his way into Helpington's, where you saw him. By the way, I just point of order. I catch them up on the stuff that she told me. That's cool.

You see Roswell walking over to Helpington's to do some cleanup, help a cleanup, like you saw in the last loop. What are you doing? Oh, you also see, I should point out, coming down the street, coming out from around the jail from the sheriff's office, you see Cassidy, who kind of like pokes her head down Main Street and looks around and then turns and walks back out of sight. What do you want to do? Wow. Um, well, so... Why don't we go onto the bank? Yeah, so here's what I know. Magnus knows that there was a hit on the bank in the last loop. Right. And people died. Sure. So I feel like Magnus wants to hang around the bank to prevent that from happening again. That is totally fair. And that's your prerogative. Point of order. Uh, about 15 minutes after that,

everybody dies. Yeah, but like, we're trying to figure out the, the perfect loop. Right? Sure. Yeah, but I feel like the perfect loop involves us not everybody dying. You know what? You know what? If Tago's caught us up on that, I say we head for the witch. I say that this is not our last time doing this loop, and what we need now is information.

I agree, but Cassidy's right there. She's right there. Yeah, but do you remember the last time we tried to talk to her, and she was all garbled and didn't give us a straight answer to anything? Yes. I feel like the witch is our best bet. She's right there. I would let you guys split up if you wanted, if you wanted to split up and we could do like two quick scenes. That might, I mean, you got an hour, so that might, it might be the best way to get stuff done.

I'll go check out the witch. You go get Cassidy. I'll go check out Cassidy. Where are you going? I would probably be the most help with the witch because magic pals. Go for it. Okay. Okay.

All right. So we'll do witch first and then we'll do Cassidy. Okay. So Taco and Magnus, you two are going to. to the witch, going to visit Paloma. Okay, you make your way into the woods behind the Elder's Manor? Just to double check real quick. I'm going to pull out the lintestrade cubing and make sure that we're not about to be ambushed

or anything that this isn't the way that the people went. So, hmm, which way would the people have went? No, I don't think you necessarily see the footprints here. Great. Or the blood trail that you also would have lost. I'm going to, as we have heard, which I'm going to cast, uh, detect magic. Okay.

There's a lot of it. Okay, but what this does is I'm basically trying to watch out for, uh, traps. So this puts an aura around anything magical. So in case this witch, like, doesn't want visitors, I want to know. Sure, sure, sure. Are we dealing with a Baba Yaga situation, Griffin? If so, you have to tell us. No, I legally try.

Right. Uh, no, you don't, uh, you detect a lot. So you see the hut. I should say, actually, before you see the hut, you smell. the hut. And it smells amazing. You know how, you know,

the Heiners factory in the West End of Huntington, West Virginia? Once you, once you're within like a mile, Heiners makes amazing bread. And once you're within like a mile of that place,

you could literally, it produces visible stink lines that you could follow through the air like a cartoon cat. And you fly. You float. Yeah, you float on like, that's literally what we're talking about here.

You smell like sweet bread and pot. and sweets. Another stop to make next to candle nights, folks. Yeah, sure. I'm going to eat that house. Oh, no. It is not a gingerbread.

No, it's not a gingerbread house. Holy shit. No, it's not. That would be too much even for me. Using detect magic taco, you detect, I mean, some fucking magically delicious baked goods, but also, like, divination magic, like, out the ass. Just for simplicity sake, Griffin, let's assume that we have our stones of far speech open. So when

dad makes comments on stuff, it's not weird. Yeah, okay. So you make your way up to the hut. There's no traps you can see. It is a small, very small cottage. I knock on the door. Okay.

Oh, okay. You hear, come in. Okay. I do. Okay, you open the door and you enter into a very strange room. There, hanging from the ceiling are a bunch of crystals of some sort, and they're all in the shape of like tear drops and their various sizes, just kind of hanging from the ceiling on these very thin threads. Floating around this room, it's a small room, it's cozy and kind of cramped. There's a lot of stuff in here, including a lot of cakes and pies and cupcakes that are kind of floating freely around the room and these little glass covered serving dishes. And then sitting behind a table and in front of a large round oven is a woman, a human with a kind of rosy complexion,

wearing some, she's wearing an apron, a cooking apron. She's wearing some white sort of frilly robes. She says, let me figure out the fucking accent's going to be before I just kind of run into it. I wanted to do like Bjork. You need help. Don't you? Well, yes, we do. You already know my name, yes?

Introductions are not in order. Magnus Taco. Paloma, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sure it is. What can I help you with? We come from outside the bubble. I know this. And we're here to solve the problems of refuse.

I know. Is this the old woman? Uh, nope. Okay. I know these two. So what do we do? Hmm. We could consult a prophecy.

Sounds good. Your friend doesn't talk much. He's a bit of a magical observer. You do seem very magical, Taco. I don't know. I just don't have anything to add right now. I talked a lot to Rinn, so he was trying to let him take the lead. He's being a good partner, Griffin.

I mean, if you want everybody to shout simultaneously on our podcast, we can definitely get that route to. We're playing good cop, hungry cop. Paloma says, um, okay, well, I offer a small prophecy. and I offer big prophecy. Which one do you think you would need? To give you an idea, the small prophecy, Paloma's kind of here is a guide to help keep you guys on track whenever you need

sort of advice, sort of like the fortune teller in the Zelda games. If you need sort of immediate direction, small prophecy is your jam. If you need something, or you not need, but maybe want to know something a bit more big picture, a bit more long term, that would be a big prophecy.

She says, it's easy. One diamond for small and ten for big. Okay. Polova. We do not have any diamonds. Oh, that is unfortunate. But we are looping through this world in such a way that when we come back, we will have diamonds for you. I know there was something strange about you.

Yeah. So this is not our last time or, I would guess, our first time here. Hmm. That is an interesting proposition. You're saying in the few. future, you will have diamonds for me. No, not exactly like that. No.

We'll have them now, later. We're getting some Bill and Ted shit, and I love it. We will remember to have some diamonds for you. Do you have anything magical? You can leave with me. I like to collect a trinket, something I can maybe cook with. something Do you ever cook with alcohol?

Sometimes rum cake, buttered rum. I have this magic tankard that increases the potency of alcohol. Yeah, she accepts that as payment. I've never used it. I will do small prophecy for you for this. That's not worth a big prologa. The big prophecy is 10 diamond.

No, no, no, no. Not for a little cup. No, no, Magnus. So, Griffin, I have a question before we move forward with this. It's a cup. It's a magic. cup. When this loop resets, is the cup gone? You don't know. Oh, no. She invites you to sit down at this

table. There's a little bench with a rug over it. As you sit down, the room kind of like goes dark, and it's not like any lights went out. It's just kind of like darkness kind of filled the room up. And you can see Paloma. Her oven is still on, and there's something fucking intoxicatingly delicious being baked in there, but it's also providing some backlighting for this scene. And from the ceiling, a small one of those crystal teardrops falls on the table and shatters, and the dust kind of hangs in the air. And you see, in this cloud of dust, you see what looks like the entrance to a cave or something. it looks like the, not a cave, because it looks more man-made.

And it is, whatever has happened there, there's been like a cave-in. And this entrance is completely surrounded by rocks. And she says, and her voice sounds a bit different now. As she's like in prophecy mode, and she's no longer like looking you in the eyes. And she says, imminent destruction comes from below. Before you can learn how to stop it, You must figure out what it is.

You must stop. Turn your eyes to the quarry. You're not ready to face what awaits you there, but you must know its face. And then the light comes back in the way. What a rip off. She says, is that all? Is there anything else?

If you give me something very valuable, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I will consider a big prophecy. But you better come back with those current future diamonds. You got it. I'm going to say, Trave, I think we should go ahead and bowl. We'll come across some diamonds at some point when we'll actually need this. I think we have some good leads to go on.

Yeah, I think we need to, I think maybe we'll have some diamonds at the quarry. Well, I don't know, maybe. Let's jump on over to Merle. Merle, you see the boys run off into the woods. And as you walk past the jail and sort of turn the corner, you see, you see Cassidy. And she is working her, she's walking towards the quarry. Again, there's a very tall wooden wall. And you see her actually, when you first lay eyes on her, she is scurrying up and over that wall and then out of sight into the quarry.

Well, shit. Well, I mean, it's not a bit of a hurry after. I'm just not a good wall climber. Okay, that's fair. There's a gate that you can see. It's not like walls all the way around. In fact, the road out of town actually dead ends at this gate. It's as tall as.

the rest of the wall and as thick as the rest of the wall, but it has a large metal padlock on it. Okay. I walk up to that padlock and pull out the nitpicker. Okay. Yeah, you drop the nitpicker. What do we name the nitpicker? Anybody remember? Probably not. You put the nitpicker down and it animates and comes to life and says, where's you dumb friends? Bud. Bud, that's right. But the picker insists that his name is Ernest. Ernest, yes, that's better.

Ernest says, where's your dumb friends? Huh? I don't have any dumb friends. Oh, good comeback. Good comeback guy. Oh, man, it's a regular night at the Apollo here. And he starts working on the lock and says, you always bring me to the nicest places, haunted crystal torture chambers and towns that explode every fucking hour.

This is great stuff, Merle. I really enjoy living in your bag. Hey, by the way, you've had an old sandwich in there for like a month. So do something about it. Hey, let me ask you a question. You're going to return to that half-eaten box of luncheables in there? Or what's the situation vis-a-vis the luncheables? I feel like I'm doing a scene with Gilbert Godfrey.

You have. You got stinky meat in your bag, son. Fix it. Well, you've got... stinky meat in your pants. Hey, nitpicker. Ask him why he sounds like my dad and not his cat. Hey, you've got stinky meat in your pants. Jesus, it's

like you've aged 40 years since the last time we talked. It's a lot of responsibility. This is just horrible. You hear a click as the padlock unlocks and the gate starts to give. Okay, back into the stink bag, I go. I grab him by the feet, I shove him back into the pack, and I say,

enjoy your stink meat. Enjoy your stink meat. Enjoy your stink meat. Dumbass. And from inside your bag. From inside your bag. You hear, well, maybe I will. Okay, yeah, the gate is unlocked. I run through and I chase down Cassidy.

Okay, you're just going to fucking barrel on through? Or what's your M.O.? Like, how are you? I'm going to approach her. I have an idea about an opening. Then do it. Okay, let me lay this out first. You make your way into the gate and you see Cassidy, who is,

she looks kind of suspicious. She's like creeping. There's a kind of a ramp that like folds in on itself that goes back and forth as it lowers you down into the quarry. Because the quarry is a good, a good like 80 feet down from the level of the town. So she's making her way down this ramp and you are above her. And from above her, she does not see you yet, but you can see her kind of creeping into this quarry. I call out to her. Okay.

Excuse me, miss? Miss? She looks up at you and she runs. She's just bolting. She's running down this ramp. I'll chase after her. Okay. She's actually yelling behind you.

What do you want? Leave me alone. I'm here to help. I know you're in trouble. Is this yelling conversation happening while the two of you are like running back and forth? Yeah. Let me on this stairwell, basically. I'm here to help.

I don't want your help. Just leave me alone. No, you don't want me to. Leave you alone. You're in a shit load of trouble, Cassidy. No, you're not so short a gurgling. Pan sent me. I don't know. Oh, like a pan where you go pan in for silver and golden diamonds? Oh, I like those.

It's a God. It's a God. And you need God's help. You, uh, she, she stopped yelling at you. And like, as you turn a corner down this ramp, you don't, you don't, uh, you kind of lost track of her. And you don't see her and you're like a few kind of ramps down from reaching the bottom of the quarry. Wait, we have the sounds of far speech, right? Yeah. Merle, can you hear me? Yeah.

So the witch told us apparently there's something like super scary and dangerous that we're not ready to fight in the quarry. So you should probably like stay out of the quarry just a heads up. Okay. Are you going to heed his instructions or keep following Cassidy down into the quarry? I'm going to keep following her. Okay. Okay. You make your way down to the bottom of the ramp and you don't see her anymore.

What's your passive perception? What is that under? Your skills. Plus three. Okay, I rolled a stealth roll for her and it was not good. You hear the sound of like soft sand crunching behind you from like underneath the ramp that you just ran down. It sounds like someone's about to get the track. drop on you. I'm going to make a bold move and turn around. Okay. You see Cassidy, she's got a big

shovel and she's like, has it up in the air and sees you and says, uh, oh, dang it. Okay. Listen, I don't know who you are. I don't know what you're doing here. I don't know why he thought was okay. Just follow me down in the quarry. I'm a little bit jumpy. Yeah, and I, you know what? I don't know you. Who are you, mister? I lift the extreme teen Bible. I smile at her gently. and I sing Hello My name is Elder Merle And I would like to share with you this most amazing book

She brings the shovel down directly on the top of your head Extreme Team Bible It will solve your problems, do you want to take a look? You just got clocked by a shovel 24 versus your AC Visual My AC is 18 She hits you for 19 points of damage

And you are Stunned You kind of topple over backwards And she runs off deeper into the quarry And you hear an explosion Coming from the town above you Pan loves you anyway She has gone into the quarry

Magnus and Taco What are you guys doing? Taco, I just had an idea Piggyback ride Yes, I'm on to it That's step one. And I start running towards the town all the while I'm yelling my plan to Tago. Okay.

A lot of running while yelling. It's like a fucking like high octane Aaron Sorkin piece in this motherfucker. We need diamonds, right? Right. And the bank just got blown wide open, right? Hell yeah. All right. So we're running for the bank.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We need to get there fast, right? Yeah. And Tom's about to reset, right? I can just start fucking burning spills. Yeah. Let's get a ride.

Okay. I'm getting... Yo, what's up? Man, I'm assuming Geryl's going to be in basically every episode of this art. You're going to the bank or what? Yeah. Hell yeah. Punch it.

Okay, you mount up. Who's in front? That would be me. I'm the only one that can control, Gerole. Okay. All right, yeah. Wild stallion. You mount up and run to the bank.

There is... You get there quick. Is that a bubble shit? This place is crazy. You get there in like 45 seconds. There's a guy laying on the ground who's just been terribly burned, and you hear the sound of fighting coming from inside. Okay. We run in.

Or at least I do. Okay. I'm good out here, but Garrell and I are going to keep watch to see what happens. Okay, you run in and you see Roswell handily beating the shit out of the other guys in there, and you see the guards dead. you see some ruffians dead and you see the dwarf woman in the back of the room who is is really bad off and yeah there's some diamonds like scattered across the floor not like a lot not like the vault was blown open again the vault is like still secure a little bit scorched but the whatever was in the bankers till or whatever it's called got scattered across the room okay I scoop up as many of the as I can. Okay. While the fight is happening?

Yep. Okay. Roswell sees you doing that. It's like, it sounds more like a taco thing. Rosalil looks at you and says, well, I sure am glad that Sheriff Isaac

brought you guys in here to help out. You're doing the Lord's work. Don't worry. I'll do better on the next time. What are you talking about? Don't worry about it. Fight those dudes. Fight those dudes.

You say that as you walk backwards out of the burning bag? Hold on. How many diamonds do I have? You picked up all the diamonds that are around the room. I'm about, you have about 20. Uh, no, you know what?

You have a lot. You got about, uh, you got about 50 diamonds. Great. While I've got those scooped up, put him in my bag, I assume. Okay. And I'm going to run and go grab the dwarf woman. Okay. Wait, this is really important.

While he's doing that, Tako having figured out the time is about to reset, it just fucking blasting spells into the air for no reason. Okay. Just like wall of force, wall of stone. Okay. Everything. Just like blowing out spells of his one. All right.

You're doing that. Uh, Merle, uh, you kind of, have come to. And from your position on the ground, you see Cassidy, who is now, she walked to the right after she knocked you out away from, if you consult the map, away from the entrance, deeper into the mines. Now she's walking towards that entrance, which you can see is a, looks like a man-made entrance. There's some wood framing that looks like it's been caved in. Cassidy is holding what looks like a giant cluster of green grapes, but they're not grapes. They just kind of have that shape that is attached to a long wire with a plunger.

And she is walking over to those rocks and starts fiddling around with that. But you are still pretty much incapacitated. You could actually do a constitution saving throw. Great. It's a three. And with my modifier, it's a six. Yeah, you're still stunned. Okay, Magnus, you pretty easily get through the fight and you grab the Dwarven woman.

and bring her outside. And she says, Who the hell are you? More importantly, what is your name? My name is Brogden. Great, great. I set her down. Okay, you set her down,

and she just kind of passes out on the ground. It is, you hear the fighting inside kind of stop, and pretty much as soon as you get her outside, the bank collapses again with Roswell and everybody else who is inside of it. I will definitely get Roswell next time. Okay, but now you have 50 diamonds. All three of you from your relative positions.

Actually, Merle, your position's a little bit further away. All three of you go through essentially the thing that just happened. Again, you hear the clock chime starting its countdown to noon. And right as it hits that 12th chime, the clock tower, which is on fire from the bank snaps in half and falls over into the elders' manner. destroying it. And the ground kind of swells up as cracks form and heat starts to push out from the, from those cracks. And then just like that, the ground compresses and it pulls you down in with it,

killing you, Magnus, and killing you Taco pretty quickly. Merle, you are also subject to this catastrophe, although right before it happens, Those rocks before Cassidy can do whatever she was doing to them, they get, like, blasted out by a wave of force, like buckshot from a shotgun. As the ground pulls you under, you are burned, and you are crushed, and you are dead. The end. We only actually got two chances.

And you wake up in that white space again, and the old woman says, somehow you did worse that time. You gotta move back to get forward. Where's your name before you send us back? You don't get the chance to get an answer from that question as she kind of fades out. And you wake up again on the ground in front of refuge. Oh boy.

First thing I do is check my bag. The good news is you've got your cup. The bad news is you do not have 50 diamonds. Okay. Well, that answers that. I'm going to delete the YouTube video about how to do an infinite diamond glitch in the adventures.

Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Listener supported. Hi, I'm Sidney McElroy. And I'm Riley Smurl. And we co-host a podcast called Still Buffering, a sister's guide to teens through the 80s. On our show, we tackle all of the hot teen topics

that kids have on their minds today. Hot teen topics? Well, you know, The questions that are plaguing teenagers through their tumultuous growing years. Questions like, how do I party? Or what do I do with all this hair everywhere? The same questions that people like Sydney had during their years as teenagers. Many, many, many, many.

Okay, not that many. So, so long ago. Yeah, okay, I think they get the idea. So search for still buffering on iTunes or maximum fun.org for new episodes every Tuesday. still buffering. I am a teenager and I was too.