The Adventure Zone - Ep. 61. The Stolen Century - Chapter Two

Episode Date: April 27, 2017

Our heroes find themselves crossing between strange, deadly, beautiful worlds, pursued by a foe they cannot comprehend. Can they grow strong enough to defeat their cosmic enemy? Or will their journey ...take them down a road from which they can never return? Magnus leads an expedition. Taako is tempted. Merle leads his congregation. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Previously, on the Adventure Zone, you see the hunger. You don't call it that yet. Reaching down and into your world, sort of reaching around your ship to the world that you're flying away from, Davenport takes the Star Blaster back down and into the prime material plane. This is not the reality that you left. This is a different reality altogether, the first of many that you're going to encounter during this mission. I'm checking on like bear cubs and telling people to get to cover and you're left behind and you only sort of outlast the hunger for so long before you are killed and you pass through the threshold between realities and as you pass through that barrier time stops once more you see these white threads of light begin to encircle the ship and they
Starting point is 00:00:46 stitch back together magnus the hunger is stronger now because that's what happens when the hunger feasts. And so our heroes find themselves leaping from world to world, hoping each time that their next leap will be the leap home. Or something like that. It's the adventure zone.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Okay, but first, Griffin, I have a very important question that I should have asked at the end of last week. Is it about your fucking hard candies? Like what flavors did you bring or? It was. It was, wasn't it? Well, I mean, not with flavors, but what did you want to ask about your,
Starting point is 00:02:12 Your hard candies. When when everything resets, do I have my supply of hard candy back? Um, no. What? No. So let's actually go over. We're going to start things out on psych. This is bullshit.
Starting point is 00:02:26 I'm so sorry. We're going to start things out on cycle number eight. We're going to, like I said, we're going to kind of skip ahead. The last one, the animal kingdom was cycle number one. Um, this is cycle number eight. And in the past few cycles, um, the seven of you have worked out some of the rules of this journey. to Travis's point, for some reason, whenever you crossed out of the boundaries of your own reality,
Starting point is 00:02:49 your existence, like, your very being, was stitched into the fabric of all realities. And it takes Loop and Barry, like, a whole cycle of working together to figure this out. They spend countless nights hypothesizing and testing theories to this effect. And basically what you realize is, whenever you cross into a new reality, your physical forms are brought back to what Lupin-Berry call your recorded state, just literally like how and where you were when
Starting point is 00:03:24 you first left your home world. Some other things you realize just by like going through these cycles a few times is you don't choose what realities you come to and you're not exactly sure what does choose it. And also you've seen this now, I guess seven times up to this point. Whenever you enter a new reality, a few days later, the light of creation descends at a random point in the sky and falls,
Starting point is 00:03:52 and then a few days after that, that dark force, which Lucretia actually comes up with the name for The Hunger, just locates the plane that has the light of creation in it, and then about a year later, the hunger arrives in proper.
Starting point is 00:04:08 And once it arrives, one of two things happen. either it assaults the plane as it scours it looking for the light of creation or once it has a pepper's it oh geez uh or it if it collects that was not me that was not me well it was kind of you i would say it was your influence after 33 years yeah i'd say it's uh by proxy um if it finds the light of creation though it uses it to absorb the entire plane um adding it to its its mass um graven have we have we Yeah, in any of these cycles, been able to save a plane or protect a plane or do anything to change a plane being destroyed? A couple times now.
Starting point is 00:04:50 You didn't do it in that first time. The hunger, you'll remember, descended on the animal kingdom. Didn't go great. Collected the light and absorbed the animal kingdom plane, which, I guess, mechanically speaking, but also narratively speaking, means the hunger, like, has that plane now. everything in it. But a couple times now you have recovered the light and you've managed to leave the reality you're in with the light and then the hunger goes and attacks the plane looking for it but doesn't find it. And so eventually it gives up and kind of chases you down. And it doesn't absorb that plane. It fuchs it up a little bit, but it ultimately, you know, leaves it be and
Starting point is 00:05:33 chases you down. However, whenever you leave a reality with the light, whenever you escape with the light of creation. Once you cross over into that new reality, you don't have it anymore. And a few days later, it follows you down and you have to find it all over again. So I've been using the term cycles because that's kind of what it is. You have a year here to find the light, to learn about the hunger, to empower yourselves to maybe one day take down the hunger. And if you don't find the light in one year and escape with it, the hunger uses it to consume that world, which means it's basically the end of that world and also the hunger just got stronger. So, also, like, this mission is, it's tough, right?
Starting point is 00:06:14 But you are emboldened by one important fact. And that is that if you die while carrying out this mission, it doesn't matter as long as someone escapes on the Star Blaster, you'll all be revived before the next cycle. So with that in mind. But we're dead for that year, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Which isn't ideal, I imagine. I know that was a lot, but again, 100 years. Here we go. This is cycle number eight. So each reality up to this point has been as diverse and kind of fantastic as that animal kingdom you encountered first up. And here in the eighth cycle, you encounter possibly the strangest world yet. Your flyover reveals a world where 80% of the land is covered in these gigantic bioluminescent mushrooms that glow in bright neon hues at night. Important question.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Yes, please. Is it a lot of little mushrooms or just a couple giant ones? I mean, it's millions of very big ones covering like 80% of the land on this planet. Okay. It's almost always raining in this world, which kind of gives the lights cast by these mushrooms a sort of hazy effect. Lucretia is particularly taken by these mushrooms. She's always sketching these vivid illustrations of them in her journals, which, again, she always keeps... With dancing teddy bears?
Starting point is 00:07:35 around them. Yeah, and again, the little Ziggy cartoons. And these towering mushrooms are also emitting this thick cloud of spores that Davenport is hesitant to kind of bring the ship down into, but you swear you can occasionally see through the smog, you can see the world below and you see these figures moving through the spores. The rest of the land, the land not occupied by mushrooms, there are a few settlements. in that land and they are entirely occupied by the smaller races like havelings and dwarves and gnomes
Starting point is 00:08:14 who eke out like kind of a harrowing existence in this world they have these staggered fences of these bonfires that surround their tightly packed villages um most of them wear these makeshift masks to keep from breathing in the spores which you learn are without exception fatal when inhaled um they have these scorch teams that go out every night just hoping to burn back the forests to stave off being overrun, but it's an uphill battle because the forest is always producing more spores, and you learn that this fungus is being cultivated by living human-sized mushroom beings that wonder the forests during the day. So you've kind of been accepted into one of these small settlements and all seven of you are outfitted with these masks. And after a few days,
Starting point is 00:09:03 after arriving, the light of creation falls so far away. You just barely see its trail over the southern horizon. And wherever it landed, it is far, far beyond the border of the mushrooms. And then a few days after that, the Hungers Scout finds you. So you have a year. What do you do? So I was thinking about it. And I think Magnus, as far as like process of elimination and kind of having experiences,
Starting point is 00:09:30 I would be waiting on the ship. for the light of creation, and as soon as I saw it go. Okay. I mean, yes, the problem with that, the only problem with that, you tried it probably a couple times at this point, because of like the curvature of the earth, there's no guarantee that you'll see it, right? Like, if it falls on the other hemisphere, you just might not see it. And that's kind of what happened this time.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Like, you know kind of it's to the south, but it fell like so fast that, like, that's basically all you know. also the like the spore like thickness is so thick that it's not like one of those things where you can just like fly around and and eyeball it you get the impression that like if you want to find this thing you're going to have to like get in there but that expedition is going to be kind of kind of difficult I see if you want to go looking for it I absolutely do it I'm just telling you like flying flying and like trying to catch it out of midair is like not no no no not catch it but I figure ahead that direction at least to save some time you know what I mean yeah I think Merle is going to stay this time in the settlement if these these poor creatures have such a harrowing awful life he's going to stay there and try to bring them some some spiritual enlightenment not really specific but just kind of like to be a beacon of hope and to you know kind of teach him some life lessons and and give them some confidence and, you know, more like vacation Bible school than like.
Starting point is 00:11:04 They don't, so they, church. They, uh, this settlement doesn't have, give me a name for this city. Fungiston. Fungiston. Fungsten. Fungsten. How about just Fungsten? I don't know that they would like celebrate the fungus, but I, I think that they
Starting point is 00:11:19 definitely don't have like church. So like you would have to, this would be you building a church, I think, and like starting a congregation, which like, I'm curious, like, why. my Merle would do that in a world that he knows in a year he will not be in anymore. Not that I'm saying, like, don't do it, but, like, I'm curious, like, what Merle's thinking. Well, if he starts something, you know, these people don't know they're going to be obliterated in a year, right? Why not give them some hope for the time they're here?
Starting point is 00:11:45 That's nice. All right, let's say, like, you start this, this church by, like, growing a congregation. And I think this is just you, like, in the town square, like, fucking doing your thing, right? like proselytizing, standing on a soapbox and like doing your stuff. So maybe roll plus heart and we'll see like generally how well you do at that. Okay. So that's rolling the two. Correct?
Starting point is 00:12:08 Yeah. 2d6 plus 2. Okay. Five and three. That's eight plus two is 10. So remember six or below is a failure. Seven and nine is a mixed success and a 10 plus is a complete success. So like, yeah, I think everybody kind of gets on board.
Starting point is 00:12:25 like they actually build like a church building that is uh i i think that they haven't been so interested in expanding their their town as much as they have been like just man we just got to fucking survive but you kind of give them a bit of hope um in in the form of this church so they actually build this big grand um wooden cathedral um that i think probably repurposes some of the the less spores mushroom meat so there's like a little bioluminescence thing going on there. And sure enough, like, you get this, this, this, this settlement of Fungston, uh, real, real in Japan. Um, and so this is the first church of Fungston. This is the first church of Funnston. I mean, maybe they had church before, like, this fungus took
Starting point is 00:13:11 over the world. Um, so I'm gonna say take plus two bond just to like represent your, like, you're probably an unofficial leader of this town now. Um, and I will also say, like, if anybody does anything about like going into the forest or whatever or anything that you might need these townsfolks like help with they will they will go with you because they are like they are feeling the seven of you now i think i'm sticking i think for magnus if finding the light of creation protects the plane that's what i'm doing plus it gives me something to do that feels yeah sure adventure questy that feels actionable. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:52 How do you want to go about that? And Taco, if you have something you want to do to this effect, like, there's no reason y'all can't, like, work together. Yeah, but let him, let you have to go ahead to start his own. I think that taking the ship in that general direction, at least to cut down the time is good. I would need someone with me to stay with the ship, because that seems like making sure the ship is available for when the hunger shows up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Like, it needs to clear the plane for any of this to continue. So if I die on the quest, the ship still has to get back there. Yeah, I mean, that's a strategy you guys are probably employed, like taking turns just being like, all right, for a year, you live in the fucking ship. And if the hunger shows up, you have to keep us alive, basically. Have also, Griffin, have we in these cycles been able to, like, figure out any way to, like, magically or scientifically track the light in any kind of effective way other than just, like, wandering around? I mean, that's up to, it hasn't happened yet. But like if one of y'all want to spend your turn, I don't think that you would be the best candidate for that. But if you want to spend your turn on one of these things working on that, then yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Like you said, I don't think that's really Magnus's deal. I mean, I might ask Barry to work on it later. But I think I'm going to see who wants to pilot the ship with me. And I'm going looking for the light. Okay. I'm going to ask Taco what if he wants to do, because that feels like, like kind of like maybe one of the later things that should happen. I kind of envision this round being like folks working together to like prop up the
Starting point is 00:15:27 expedition before it sets off and it sounds like you want to go on this expedition. So Taco, can I ask what you want to do this year? Yeah, I've got a fucking genius plan and I'm going to fix everything. Okay. Yeah. Come close, Griffin. I'm, because I'm about to blow your game wide up.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Oh, no. I'm going to make a fake light of creation. Okay. I'm going to spend this year, like a survivor contestant on their last legs, crafting a false hidden immunity idol. I'm going to craft, to the best of my ability, a fake light of creation, a decoy, if you will. All right. Now that I know what you want to do, I actually think Magnus's thing should go first,
Starting point is 00:16:10 because the way I think we rectified this is you can do that if you have, like, the light of creation on hand right now, which you don't. But if Magnus can get it back, then yeah, go for it. Otherwise, I think you'll be at kind of a disadvantage working on this. I can start work on getting the paper mache and some of the chicken wire in place. Maybe not get all the details right away. But like, I think I could definitely get that far. Do you enlist anybody's help on this? Or is this a solo project?
Starting point is 00:16:42 This doesn't seem like it would be Loops Jam, but I feel like she would probably hang around. Yeah, she'll hang out. She'll hang out and, like, just sort of keep you company. I feel like I would love Cabinport and Barry's help on this. I think science and, like, pilot is going to help me track this thing. Yeah, Lucretia wants to come, too, just because, like, this expedition seems like it could be worth telling a story about. Like, she wants to, like, come into the forest with you and not be the one that stays behind on the ship. Would I ask Griffin, would loop, would loop want to go with them? Um, it seems like, I mean, I don't know, like, it's up to, it's up to you. Do you want, do you want to ask Luke to stay with you or no? Like, that's the way. I will say, okay, as Magnus will say, I would ask Loop to come with me if Taco is staying behind. Because if, if, if, I think, here's the thing. If it doesn't sound like Taco needs help on this thing. And we know that getting the light is kind of the end all be all important mish. So it feels like all hands defend the ship, all hands flying.
Starting point is 00:17:47 light unless otherwise I would ask oh you're gonna say that she also has shown the tendency to be able to track things well and also she's an evocation specialist so like burning shit is her whole jam like she's the best of burning shit ever I would ask her to go mainly because if they're if they're not able to get it back if I want to try this again I would rather her somebody who I know and trust go and get like a really good look at the thing and get a sense of the magical energies and stuff like that. Okay. So, Magnus, you are basically taking everybody with you except for Taco and Merle.
Starting point is 00:18:22 And the town folk want to help out, too. There's, like, a scorch team that's, like, particularly badass. They have, like, sort of these lo-fi medieval flamethrower situations. Do they have an extra one? Yeah, sure. They can definitely whip one of those up for you. So, yeah, you do you want to take them with you? I want two.
Starting point is 00:18:43 One on each arm. They say no to that. They say it's too heavy. It's too heavy. Oh, is it? And then I pick up two of them. Okay, they are blown away. It's not too heavy.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Wow. How are you going to pee? They say, how are you going to pee, sir? Just watch. And then, wait, hold on. I rolled at 11. All right. You pee while shooting two flamethrowers in the air.
Starting point is 00:19:12 It's absolutely amazing. Okay, so I think this expedition's ready to start. And Magnus, you say you just, like, want to fly south and then, like, once you... How are you feeling this out? Like, I think this may be a couple of roles. So, like, the first one is, like, how do you... I think role plus mind just as, like, a stage setter of, like, how close you... Can I count out 11, or was that struck with just being?
Starting point is 00:19:33 No, that was definitely the plus piss roll. Ah, man. Okay. Well, it's not bad... Well, it was an eight. I got four plus five minus one. Okay, yeah, so a mixed, a mixed success. I think you, I think you land like kind of, kind of far away from it.
Starting point is 00:19:50 And you know it's, you know, it's still south. Are you just, like, walking on foot, or do you think that this trip is going to take, like, it's a pretty big planet that you're on? It would probably take, like, the rest of the year to get there and get back. Are you, like, what's this trip through this deadly mushroom forest look like? Well, okay, so here's what would make the most sense to me. What would it make the most sense to me is having Barry and Loop work together, Barry Loop and Davenport, worked together as far as tracking and triangulation goes, because we may not be able to pinpoint it, but if we make short hops, it seems like what we would want to do is land, clear spot, triangulate what we know about the light to see if we can kind of get a bead on it and then head in that direction, short hop. check, short hop check, rather than just going on foot. So I guess the first thing would be to see if we can get any kind of read on the light.
Starting point is 00:20:57 So with that mixed success you got earlier, I'm going to use that. And also, I got kind of a hard time from folks listening who said that I wasn't hard enough on you guys on mixed successes. What? Yeah. I mean, it's a good point, and it's a fair criticism. like this is supposed to be like you give something up in exchange for accomplishing the thing that you want to do, as opposed to a complete success being just you get to do the thing you want to do,
Starting point is 00:21:21 which I kind of was doing for you last time. And a failure being you give something up and you don't get to do the thing you want to do. So I think that either everybody that you brought with you from the town dies or one of the teammates that you brought with you, dies. And you're not like, you're not killing them. I'm asking you to make like a narrative decision here. Oh, then it's going to be everybody I brought from town. I don't know their names. Why do I care?
Starting point is 00:21:44 Okay. Oh, no, but now I feel bad because there's going to be people who say, but you guys regenerate, and the people from town won't. Oh, no, Griffin. You've really put me in a bind. Yeah. Or, or, or, or, or I'll give you this third option. You, um, by accident, you inhale some of the spores and it'll put you at a disadvantage for whatever the resolution is.
Starting point is 00:22:08 But I'm going to take that. Yeah, I'll take that. Yeah. Yeah, you just like, it's like one of those survivor challenges where it's just like, hold up a paint can for until you die. And it's like easy to do until you lose your concentration for a second. And I think like one day you're just like getting ready for bed and you lay down for bed and you take your mask off. And you're like, what the, what the fuck? And you breathe in some spores.
Starting point is 00:22:30 And from that point on, I took it off to eat some hard candy. What was I thinking? Yeah, it's a very boyland way to go. Hard candy. How could you do this to me? I'll never eat hard candy again. For the rest of your trip, though, like, you are feeling shittier and shittier and shittier and shittier and shittier. And everybody else is like, the townsfolk actually like knows some ways to like keep you going, but you are definitely much weaker.
Starting point is 00:22:54 So you're not going to have your plus two body thing, which is a shame because I'm going to make you for your final thing, like to actually represent your traipsing through this forest role plus body to see if you make it to the light. I think that would use the triangulation method you're using, like, works. Like, they notice that the mushrooms are getting bigger. And so they just think, like, well, that's probably the right direction to go. Like, the light would probably make these mushrooms grow more and more. So let's just follow the path of the bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger mushrooms. But let's see how you do. Come on, baby.
Starting point is 00:23:28 And I don't have the plus two? You do not. Oh, it's a six. Oh. Okay. And nobody else came with you, right? No, this is going to be tricky for me because I don't know how to... Hmm.
Starting point is 00:23:44 I mean, I brought help. You did bring help. So it's one thing if I fail, but I don't know why everybody else would automatically fail. Okay, here's how we'll do it. Either you recover the light, but you, Magnus, die, and you don't get any, like, score improvements this round at all. or you don't get the light and you do get score improvements. Oh, I'll die then. That's fine. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:14 So, yeah, you don't get any EXP this round, anything like that. That's the only way that I could think to punish you because you got really close. And I don't see any way that the rest of your team doesn't get there. So you, Magnus, like, one morning, they're, like, really close to the light and they go to wake you up and you're just, you're gone. And you were, like, up and about the previous night and seemed to be actually. actually like kind of on the mend, but they come and get you one morning and you are just gone. And so I guess from the point of view of the rest of your party, who like takes some time, like this has happened a few times now and it's tough every time.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Like you're dead. Like they know you're coming back hopefully, but like it's still really tough. But the rest of your party and the remaining townsfolk make it to basically the center of the forest. and there they see the light. And while the light itself is beautiful, the scene that your party finds it in is like kind of grotesque. The mushrooms around this spot have grown huge and nearly blinding with all of their like neon tones.
Starting point is 00:25:19 It's like lighting this place up like Tokyo. And laying prostrate in a circle around this light are hundreds of those mushroom beings. who you've seen like here and there in the forest, but usually they just kind of run away from you whenever they see you. Here they're all just like lying like they died while worshipping this thing. They just like laid down and gave up and they're all kind of withered. And it's almost like they fell before the light, but we're unable to figure out like how to wield it.
Starting point is 00:25:47 So they just kind of bathed in its splendor, completely malnourishing themselves in the process. So there's no struggle as the rest of your party does collect the light of creation. and gets back to the ship and brings it back to this town that you were in. And Taco, I think this is like, there's not much time left, but you do have the light. So if you want to, I guess, roll plus mind and tell me, like, how this works, you like trying to recreate. You goofed about paper mache.
Starting point is 00:26:15 I imagine it's more sophisticated than that. With what I have access to, I would be thrilled to have paper mache and chicken wire. That would be amazing. I mean, it's basically, I mean, I was used. I was using chunks of, well, yeah, let's do this. I was using carving chunks of mushroom into the shapes that I needed. Okay. And then using transmutation.
Starting point is 00:26:38 What is the, what's the light look like? It looks like like a ball of the most beautiful light you've ever seen, and it doesn't hurt to look at it. Like, it actually feels really good to look at it, but it's not like, it is, it is tangible in that it's light you can touch, but it's not like an orb. It's not like a crystal orb illuminated from within or whatever. And you aren't talking about bioluminescent. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:27:03 That was my thinking. So they're bioluminescent. And I'm using my magics to make them more impressive. Okay. Yeah. Roll out plus mine. So that is a eight. Okay. So that's a mixed success.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Take, let me think. Take plus one asset, right? Like you made a thing. And so you have plus one asset. But again, like, remember, assets are abstract, so, like, you can spend it later to be anything. Here's how I think this resolves with the mixed success. You make it, and it's... You can tell, because you spent some time with both of these things, and also you know that it's a fake, that it's kind of clearly a forgery, if you know what you're looking for.
Starting point is 00:27:50 But working with the light in this way, made you appreciate something about the light that's kind of unique and stands out in your mind. and that is that this light, it really, it really wants to be wanted, if that makes sense. Like, this light is giving off this, like, this light is giving off this energy that, like, you can tell, like,
Starting point is 00:28:15 it wants to be used, and it wants to be. It's needy. It's needy, yeah, but this, it's, imagine that, like, projecting out, like, a, like, a beacon of sorts. it's why like everybody is kind of entranced by it it's not just because it's like beautiful and powerful it's because it is putting up this these waves of just like desire
Starting point is 00:28:36 it wants to be desired and so like you made this this mushroom ball it look a lot like it right and you use your magic to create like a pretty good forgery but like you can't you can't you can't even know how the fuck to make that happen so when the hunger comes let's do we'll get to the resolution when the hunger comes you all have the light and you escape. What do you do with your forgery?
Starting point is 00:29:00 So I, um, it's not a guarantee that we escape, right? Like if we have the light, do we always escape? Um, yeah, you're never going to have to, Davenport's like a, uh, a dope-ass pilot. So like, he gets you, if you're on the ship and the ear is up, you get, you get away. I feel like the best, highest use of my decoy, uh, is there a way that I could use the decoy in such a way that I can limit the amount of damage that is done to this plane. Like, like, as it, because, because I left it where they, I mean, I could send it to where somewhere near where they found it initially. And hopefully by, by doing that, I, like, bought this plane some time.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Okay. So, so it couldn't ravage it as badly because it was, you know, tripped up. Here's where your mixed success comes in. This is how I'll resolve that. While you're flying away, you go over that mushroom forest and, um, you're, you go over that mushroom forest and um one of the survivors points out like one of the i should say one of the surviving like loop and uh lucretia and barry and capymport um they point out like about where they they found it in the forest and you just like drop your forgery off the side of the ship oh great yeah and when you do
Starting point is 00:30:12 you see the hunger kind of shift its position and drop one of those big like inky columns down like basically literally exactly where it lands. It drops a ton of columns, right? This thing's the size of a billion planets. So it definitely has like, it can do more than one attack, so to speak. So I think this planet does get hit a lot, right? But you specifically see the hunger go for the light. And from that, you intuit two things.
Starting point is 00:30:45 One, it's like chasing this light down. The hunger is like pursuing the light in a way. and the other thing is that pretty quickly, like, it retracts that column, and you also sort of figure, like, this trick is not going to work again. It didn't really, it fell for it temporarily, but it's not going to, this dog won't hunt twice. So that's sort of the- Are you sure? Because it would have been pretty fun to listen to me do that every time. So that was a cycle. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Wait a minute. Can I, I think Merle would stay. with the congregation. I really do. I think that there's no way that he could justify leaving them with the darkness descending. Okay. After spending a year trying to build up their fate that there was life, you know, there was an afterlife and everything else.
Starting point is 00:31:38 So I think he would gather them as many as he could in the big wood cathedral, the big shroom cathedral. Yeah. Sing nearer my pan to thee. I mean, you're goofing that this is a pretty incredible scene. No, I'm serious. I'm serious. You built this church, right, and you knew that the hunger was going to attack.
Starting point is 00:31:56 And if you got the light, then they'll survive it. But, like, the hunger's still going to attack. So as long as they survive that attack. So you probably built it pretty fucking sturdy. So I think the whole town is in this church when the light comes, and you decide to stay to stay behind. So you're standing in front of this congregation, knowing, like, in a minute, you're going to be taken away. You're going to be, like, pulled away and back onto the shit. as it leaves this reality.
Starting point is 00:32:22 So, like, do you want to break me off a piece of, like, what you say? Yeah. I think I would say brothers and sisters. Hold on one second. You want to try a character voice. Just, you know, we don't have to have many episodes left. I'm moving dad's Christopher Lloyd Toy in front of him so he can visualize the fact that he has to do a character voice for our podcast.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Dearly beloveds, we are gathered here as we are gathered here as we're one, facing the future as one, whether that future be darkness or light, we do not know. Just like we do not know in our lives if we are going to head into darkness or light. There's a loud, there's a loud boom from somewhere outside and overhead. But that's what faith is all about, is even though we don't know what we're headed into, we believe we are headed into something. And so we share that today, and this is the only place I would like to be, is here with you. Pan bless you.
Starting point is 00:33:28 And I think they sing like a hymn, a pan hymn that you taught them. And in this like really nice harmony, they probably didn't sing much before you came here. But they are now. And they watch sort of, and I think they survive. Most of them survive. Most of the folks in this town survive. And they survive the hunger. I don't know what's going to happen with the mushrooms.
Starting point is 00:33:52 But I think they talk about you for a long time after this, because as they sing this hymn, they watch you kind of get pulled away as you are sort of turned into these strings of light that are pulled up through the ceiling and out of sight. Hey, everybody. This is Griffin McElroy, your dungeon master, your best friend. And your secret, Santa. and I got that thing you wanted, but I can't tell you it's me because it's a secret. Thanks for listening to The Adventure Zone episode 61. It's the second episode of our Stolen Century arc.
Starting point is 00:34:41 I want to thank everybody who sent in some feedback that they had about how this arc is going and how it works. It's kind of a clumsy solution. I'll be the first to admit that. But we had a lot of backstory that I wanted to get through without taking 100 literal years to do so. So again, we'll be moving through. this in the next few episodes or so, and then the next thing that comes after this will be the finale to what we're calling the balance arc. So please stick with us, and I'm going to read some things that people paid us money to say. I have some Jumbotron messages here. This one is for Jill, Supreme Ruler of Pugs, and it's from Edo, Professional Loser. Oh, Edo tells Jill, hey, buttface.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Wow. I wanted to give you the gift of a Maceroy Blugs. Oh, and I guess some lame, sappy words from me too. I can't believe it's been like four years since we became friends. You're already graduating. I am so incredibly proud of you and I love you so much, you talented asshole. Wow, just really. You're going to do amazing artsy things in this world. And then it says lean kaya forever. And I don't know what that means, but I hope it wasn't some sort of secret coded hateful message. This one was also supposed to go up before. April, so with that in mind, congratulations on your graduation, Jill. I hope you're making your way downtown. Walking fast, face is past, and I'm homebound. Here's another message for Tiffany and
Starting point is 00:36:16 Neil, and it's from Eric and Lacey who say, congratulations, Neil and Tiffany, you're married. Now roll initiative. No, really, we'll wait. Done? Good. A Griffin steps out from this message and attacks. Ouch, roll to 20. That's got to hurt. I mean, you faith that role, but we've all done. that from time to time here on the Adventure Zone. Anyways, from your proud judge and McMiller Killer and his wife, future McMillor Killer, we wanted to say happy wedding and wish you many happy years. And I think their wedding popped off in March, so congratulations on your nuptials, and I hope you're just making your way downtown, walking fast faces past, and I'm homebound. I want to thank everybody who's been tweeting about the show using the Zonecast hashtag. I don't know how many more characters we're going to have
Starting point is 00:37:03 to name after folks, but we sure do appreciate you spreading the word about the show and telling people about it. Again, we don't pay to advertise the show in any way, so word of mouth is really the only way that we get new listeners. Thanks again, it's been a little bit now, but to everybody who donated to the Max Fund Drive, I just recently purchased, I threw out my old mic and soundboard. I didn't throw them out. I still have them, but I bought a new setup to get that high fidelity crisp audio that the people crave. And that's all thanks to the folks who have donated to the show and given back and a lot of us to sort of like invest more stuff into it. So thank you all very much. What else? I think that might be it. Thanks again for
Starting point is 00:37:43 sticking with us during this kind of weird way that we're handling this way of covering all this territory leading up to the finale. I hope some of you like it. I know it's kind of weird and a little bit bumpy. And the next episode, oh, I should mention this, we are going to try really, really, really hard to get this ship back on schedule and get right Thursday back into being right Thursday, which means I'm like 90% sure there's going to be another episode next week on Thursday, May 4th. I'm pretty sure, and I will let you know on Twitter if we can't get it together, but that is the plan for right now.
Starting point is 00:38:17 So two weeks in a row of content to make up for that one week we missed. I will again let you know if that doesn't happen. But for now, I'm pretty sure the next time I talk to you is going to be on May 4th. So I will talk to you then. Oh, that's Star Wars Day, too, isn't it? Oh, that's fun. I love those fun Jedi. And they're crazy lightsaber tricks.
Starting point is 00:38:35 See you then. Bye. Next cycle? Boys in the house. Yeah. This is cycle 17. So it's been a while. Again, you've had some hits and some misses.
Starting point is 00:39:03 For like, narratively speaking, I'm not going to like have any kind of big ramifications for the cycles we didn't play, obviously, because that would be kind of bogus. Again, a hundred years, abstractions, a lot of telling and no showing. and that's where we're at. But cycle 17. So after several days of flyover reconnaissance of this new reality, this new planar system, this new world, you're about to, like, write this whole world off as uninhabited, which is not, it's happened before. You've just showed up to a world, and there's just nobody there.
Starting point is 00:39:37 And in this world, there's just these ruins of this once somewhat advanced civilization. but all of these like massive cities have long since fallen into decay. You don't see another living person for weeks. The light falls and the hunger comes. And what's worse, when the light of creation falls, like you don't even see it streak down from the sky. Like Luke tries to triangulate it, but she like says it just fell on the wrong side of the planet.
Starting point is 00:40:07 So it leaves you like a haystack nearly the size of a hemisphere to find this needle in if you wanted to. and without any people to talk to you, you don't really have any leads to help find it either. But after several months of sort of searching and camping out in these like derelict cities, you do find something. You find faint signs of life from a peculiar set of ruins that must have once been a truly spectacular city. Some centuries or maybe even millennia ago, grass and moss have long since overrun it, but you can still sort of appreciate it. the complexity of its design. It's got these tiered districts that raise up into the sky and lower down into this
Starting point is 00:40:51 gulch below. And this gulch has been like completely overrun. There's a small river that just like falls into it now and it forms a waterfall that drops near the city's edge and it's completely flooded the lowest tier of this city. It's like a spectacular site and it's made more unbelievable by its inhabitants, which are all robots. All of them are walking. bipedal machines. They don't seem to be like specialized workers in the way that like the home world you came from probably had like some powered golems. As far as you can tell, the several hundred robotic inhabitants of the city are just like
Starting point is 00:41:27 conducting their lives, like people, they have homes, they converse. You do reconnaissance and you see them like mime eating meals, but they're not actually like eating foods. Some of them are married. They go on dates and they are congenial toward you. And they're so, like, emotive. And so after about, about, like, another month of Lupin Berry working together to try to triangulate the location of the light, they declare it just a futile effort. There's just too much ground to cover.
Starting point is 00:41:56 So instead, you decide to spend your time seeing what else you can glean from this fascinating city. So how do you spend your name? One, awesome. Thank you, Griffin. Yeah, you're welcome. Have we been able to. I don't know if this is clicked with that and Justin yet, but Travis may have a distinct advantage in this cycle. You can rip their arms off.
Starting point is 00:42:16 No, not that. We're in, we're in Taz Knights territory, the tiered capital city. Ah. Griffin, have we been able to take anything, like, if we get stuff onto the ship with us? Yeah. Does it travel with us to the next plane, or does everything reset? So if you bring stuff inanimate objects, it comes with you, right? That's like assets are exactly that.
Starting point is 00:42:46 But, hmm, have you tried to bring a person on board? Any of you? That's what I was wondering. I mean, I'm asking you. I would say that like second time out, the first time we once again weren't able to find the light, I feel like we would, at the very least, tried to bring some people with us knowing that plane would be destroyed. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:08 You've brought some people with you just to like say, like, let's bring as many survivors. And I think Cap'nport was against this. Just like, his whole thing is sort of a cold arithmetic of he wants, as far as you know, you're the only people from your home world still alive. And so, like, he doesn't want to bring other people on the ship who are going to complicate the mission in any way. He's not, like, cruel about it, but that's sort of just how his mind works. So he kind of doesn't want that to happen, but you all manage to get some people on board. I think the deal we would work out, Ditto would be that it would be like, they're not,
Starting point is 00:43:39 this is not a permanent crew change that like we are just taxying them to the next plane doing something like trying something you know what I mean to make sure somebody survives but and you had this argument and you got them on board but that that that time when you left the reality and you all sort of went through this reshuffling those people were gone when you broke through to the new reality so you can't you can't bring um you cannot bring people with you but at the same time um at a later cycle, one of the ones I guess we didn't cover, one of you realized that there's a rat on board, and if there wasn't a rat, I mean, this is a fucking spaceship.
Starting point is 00:44:17 There's not rats on board this spaceship, but you figure, like, it must have gotten on board while you're on one of these cycles. And so, like, lower life forms can come with you, but not, like, folks, if that is a, that's a very convoluted answer to your question, but... I understand. I have another question.
Starting point is 00:44:34 If we don't find a light, does that mean that Griffin is going to destroy his brother's, brother's reality? This is, this is, this is, uh, maybe not exactly Taz Nights. That's the way I kind of thought about it. And also it's thousands and thousands and thousands of years and future. Griffin's gonna, Griffin got to do his show for so long and how he's going to destroy your reality.
Starting point is 00:44:55 That's okay. He's going to break your whole at dad. It's okay. Boys, it's all right. I'm going to make it so that in the next Taz Nights somebody wakes up from a dream and all of the balance arc is just a dream. Don't even worry about it. Um,
Starting point is 00:45:08 and can we name the, Rat Templeton, please. It's been like over a decade. This rat is dead. Sorry. I think that's how rats work. Griffin, I think if, so like we are all to assume that
Starting point is 00:45:25 the light just didn't happen in this time around. But advanced technology, even if it is laying fallow, if it is, you know, there has to be something that would help develop some kind of weaponry for the ship or shielding for the ship. I would like to spend this round researching ways to fight, whether it's hand-to-hand weaponry or ship weaponry or what. I want to be able to, I'm fucking sick of running is, I think, where Magnus is at at this point
Starting point is 00:45:59 in the arc. Okay, what's this look like? Because you mentioned a few things. Are you trying to, because again, I think it's important that we try to dial down to like one abstract thing that you can spend a whole year doing. So you mentioned like training or building weapons or what? You know what? Here's what I want. Here's what I want, Griffin. Here's what I want. I am inspired by robots and arms. And I want to figure out a way to have some kind of grabbing arm attached to the ship. So that if we find the light of creation, we don't always have to descend to the for, to the floor to get it. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Help me think of, like, what this looks like, because, like, it sounds like you're going to make a mind roll. Like, if you want to, like, build onto the ship. Well, here's the way I look at it. I figure these robots already know how to do it. Like, they must understand the technology. They must, like, be able to help me. So I don't need to figure out how to build it.
Starting point is 00:47:03 I just have to build it. Okay. That's a fair way of doing it. Then I think this is a case of you working with the robots and like these robots um you i i can't even tell you what you don't know about the robots uh until i think you make a uh heart roll um to like get get to know them a little bit better before and i'll count this also towards your like convincing them to help you build the ship thing okay heart roll hell yeah um it's a nine nine okay um so mixed result they um they tell you a little
Starting point is 00:47:38 bit about themselves and they will help you do this thing, but it's going to take a whole year, right? Because you didn't get like, I don't think you get everybody from the town to help you out with this, to help you out with this project. The way I think this works is, it takes a really long time. Imagine that you've lived in this world of robots for centuries. These robots are centuries old. And then you see like a flesh person again. And it's like, what the fuck? So that is, I use the word again, because there did use to. to be people here. They lived in this city and this whole world was very vibrant and this capital city was vibrant and alive too and there was a lot of, there's just like a lot of culture and a lot
Starting point is 00:48:20 of people living in this capital city. But a plague swept through the planet and it just eradicated the world's population. And there were these two organizations that tried to like fight it off, but they really only were trying to help out, like, the best and brightest and richest and most royal people in this city. But their efforts were in vain. And ultimately, like, I think they built like a shelter, but the shelter was unsuccessful because this plague was just so powerful that it took out everyone. But there was a sort of underground organization, the name of which they've forgotten. It's just been so long. Oh, it's the Beast of the Ring. Yes. I'm just, it's the Beast of the Ring. It's the Beast of the
Starting point is 00:49:05 ring. Is the beast? Okay. They managed to save people the only way that they could. The only way that, because no physical, like, organic matter was going to survive this thing. So they sort of captured the spirits of hundreds of people in, like, a massive control gym, which folks can leave at will to inhabit these robot bodies in this city. And so they, like, kind of, you meet a of them that tell you, that sort of give you the score. And there's more that they don't tell you, but that's, that is sort of what they clue you into, and then they help you build this, this robot arm. What's it look like and where's it
Starting point is 00:49:50 go on the ship? I'm going to, it looks like Tom's, it looks like a Crotty Robot's arm. Okay. You know, like a desk lamp arm. You know what I mean? Does it retract or is it always sticking out? Oh yeah, it retracts. It folds up on the the belly of the ship. Okay. And then think like a, like a claw arm, you know, like a, like a claw game. Sure. I think the best way for me to handle this is to give you plus one asset, just like you have
Starting point is 00:50:19 this dope fucking thing now. Okay. Works for me. So you tell the other folks on the crew, like, what's up with this civilization? And Merlin Taco, what do you want to do? I think I'm going to go Fahrenheit 451 on you. If this civilization is going to be wiped out and all of this society, all this culture, all these, this history, all these wonderful things, it's just going to be wiped out for good.
Starting point is 00:50:50 I'm going to ask Lucretia to go with me and I'm going to use my persuasive skills to try to get as many of these robots to tell the stories of the, the souls that inhabit them. And so we can record it for posterity. And while we may not be able to actually save the civilization, at least we'll have the memories of it and at least we'll have the story of it to pass along to other people. Okay. Yeah, that's dope. And as part of that, we discover this thrilling story of these three adventurers.
Starting point is 00:51:27 One, a tavern keeper. Well, let Griffin do it. Hold on. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, this is my turn. Yeah, fuck yeah. One a monk and won an extremely handsome bard.
Starting point is 00:51:39 And through their efforts, a magistrate is empowered and goes on to rule with incredible skill and compassion. And it makes it a great civilization. And it all starts with that magistrate who had an awakening, a moment where he realized, you know, this is not the way to go. I need to make this a better world. Okay. And so as they go through this, they find all these paintings of this handsome bard and his flunkies. This is all non-canonical. That basically, while they cannot save the actual physical civilization, they can save the record.
Starting point is 00:52:20 I'm into it. Yeah. So tell me if this is plus mind, like you going around and doing this, or plus heart, which I guess would be you working really close with Lucretia this this whole time, which I'm I'm into doing more stuff there. I'm thinking, well, I'm thinking heart. Okay. And does that reflect you working with Lucretia? Are you, like, getting these stories out of these robots? I'm getting the stories and she's taking them down. Okay, so I think it's both.
Starting point is 00:52:47 But we are working, we're working hand in hand. We're working very closely. Okay. E. Three. Oh, wait a minute, plus five. Do you have any assets down? Yeah, do you want to spend an asset?
Starting point is 00:53:04 I got four bonds. You don't have any assets at all? No, I have not been awarded any asset. Unless it happened in one of those other 16 cycles. I'm trying to decide if I... Can I spend my assets? Yeah, I'm trying to decide if I want to let y'all do that. I think it makes sense, right?
Starting point is 00:53:20 Like, I don't want you to be able to do this with your other stuff, but for assets, yeah. I mean, one of you is losing an asset to give it to somebody else. So if you want to spend it that way, then yes, Magnus, you can. Whatever you guys think best. The reason that this is a hard decision, dad, is I don't know how this directly benefits the mission, but, and so there may be a time later where we need that asset to, like, get the light. I will find, I will find a way to make it benefit the mission in some way. A minor score improvement from one of you benefits the mission.
Starting point is 00:53:51 So, okay, I'm going to say that having worked with the robots, you know, maybe they're a little distrustful, and I, uh, maybe I vouch for them and do the robot's secret handshake with the big robot arm. What is the asset that you spend, though? And it's abstract. It can be literally anything, but what do you give a bunch of robots or give to Merle to make him, you know?
Starting point is 00:54:12 I need a narrative thing you can give somebody to get the thing you want. Oh, I've got it. Having used the knowledge that I've gained from the robots about the before time, the long, long ago, I'm able to find an eye piece, an earpiece of robotic.
Starting point is 00:54:32 origins with technomancy. Okay. Embude within them and impart those to Merle so that he's able to have a technomantic connection. That's great. That's great. That fucking rules. And Merle, I assume you said that. Thank you, Travis.
Starting point is 00:54:48 You're welcome. You're welcome. And we upgrade this to a mixed success. So with the mixed success, you get this, you get all this stuff. You get these great stories of high adventure. And because, like, they are the ones who ultimately saved. Not the world, but 150 people at the last remaining inhabitants of the world. Like, these stories are pretty beast of the ring-centric.
Starting point is 00:55:12 They are, they are, like, telling these stories. And so, like, when these robots see these artifacts on you, these are holy artifacts, Merle, that you have on. And so they tell you their stories. You can still tell they're being a little bit reserved, though. There is still something that they're not telling you. but you get these great stories. And I think when you are working with Lucretia to write them down,
Starting point is 00:55:39 I think she really, really appreciates this. And in this conversation, she's like, I've lived my whole life writing down other people's stories. And I've been doing this for almost two decades now. And there's still part of me that thinks one of these years, Merle, we're just, we're not going to make it out. And if that happens, all of these stories are just, going to die with us. And I really appreciate you thinking of this world in that same way. I think
Starting point is 00:56:10 we've done really important work now. Now we just need to make sure that somebody else, other than myself, reads these one day. That's very well put. You know what? For somebody who doesn't talk much, you have a lot of good leadership instincts. She says, I don't know about that. I'm I'm keen to just sort of sit back and watch and record, but I appreciate you saying that. You can't always do that. Take plus two bonds, because you're, yeah, you're working on some good stuff. It's not just that. It's like setting up that good shit.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Taco. I would also, I, Juice, I feel like, okay, I'll just say as Magnus, something's up. There's something we don't know. Well, well, anyway, that's all well and good. Loop and I are going fucking scrapping. This is the most civilized, this is the most technologically advanced place that we've been to yet. And I want to load the ship with all the valuable mechanical components I can find.
Starting point is 00:57:12 So I'm going to fucking looting. I'm going to destroy as many robots as it takes. I want to take these motherfuckers apart piecemeal. Okay. So I can take whatever cool magic is powering them. I'm going to loot this motherfucker to the, to the, to the, to, to Brathe's, to brass tacks. I'm going to just loot and pillage.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Bird earth. I'm going to... Yes. Yes, exactly. All right. Roll Roll plus mind. Oh, that's a 12. A 12. Fuck. Okay. That's some good pillaging, Lupin our doing. Yeah, with a 12, you realize, like, I don't need to murder everybody in this town.
Starting point is 00:57:47 If I just go down, like, if I just go down one tier, like nobody lives down here, and it's just nothing but artifacts. So you go down to, like, the next, uh, lowest tier. And there, you, sure enough, like, you find tons of shit. What do you find? Like, what are you looking for?
Starting point is 00:58:06 Fucking, fucking loop finds, like, a gun. Like, a big, like, old school, like, Tommy gun. And she just, like, when she finds it, she's like, Taco, look. And she just points it up at the sky and just, like, unloads it. Just screaming, like, count the shells. Just, like, fucking, like, scarface kind of a little bit. Yeah, you are hysterical.
Starting point is 00:58:26 That is hysterical. do it again. She does. She literally finds another gun and like, does it. Count the shows. I'm dying. I think we're looking for, here's what I'm thinking. Things that can repair the ship. That is one thing we're looking for because we do not have a plan for that. Okay. Like, we know there's a base day of the ship, but if it's damaged at some point, I want to know that we have material components on hand to repair it. I'm also looking for just anything that looks powerful and anything that could be a source of power. Ooh. I want to try to like loot as much crap as I can.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Okay, here's what we'll do. You find easily enough. Like this was a city of steel and arcane energy. So like you find metal plating that you think like, well, you check with Caput, who's sort of the ship health liaison, like kind of the engineer pilot in one. And he's like, yeah, that, yeah, that's a, that's, that's, that's, That's a great idea. I don't know why we didn't think of that before.
Starting point is 00:59:25 It's been almost two decades. And you load some of this back up onto the ship. And with the 12, I think, take two assets. Nice. But with the other thing you mentioned, I do want to circle back to is you search for magical energy. I think this is like equivalent to an arcana check, right? So while you're down in that second tier, which is the only like, it's the lowest
Starting point is 00:59:47 non-flooded tier, the bottom one is completely flooded by this waterfall. Roll plus mind. Uh, six. Um, okay. You don't find anything. Well, you have plenty of assets. Tain. 16? Wow.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Okay. Um, do you want to spend one of your assets? Upgrading that? I thought six was a, was a failure. Was a, six or was a failure? Six is a failure? Six or does a fail. Yeah, this seems like a good time to do that.
Starting point is 01:00:17 All right. What do you use? I found a, uh, fucking metal detector down there, but it's for magic. So it's just like, I'm just like, I'm just waiting. waving it around. Maybe Loops do it. Loops probably just fucking around with it. I'm like, stop, you'll drink the battery. Um, and it doesn't have much battery left because I think it breaks after you use it or else you just get another asset again. Um, but you, yeah, you use it. And with it makes success, you know that there's energy below you, um, in the, in the bottom tier of this
Starting point is 01:00:46 world, which you know, talking to some of the robots. There's like one, one robot remembers. Oh, uh, well, that's underton. Um, so, uh, you figure out that, that, there is some fan artist draw that please okay so that's that's your all's year um and again abstracting it like it's probably tough scavenging for shit like it's exhausting going through a whole city and looting it so like that's your year and um uh so i think just before the hunger comes you know you have maybe about a week left um you know you're not going to get the light right And I'm not giving you, like, kind of an extra turn, but whenever you, like, go back to Davenport and tell him about this energy that you detected down there, he says, like, well, if we can't get the light, we may as well try and find out what that is, right? Before we go down and before we leave this world, like, if it's a powerful form of energy, we don't want the hunger to get that when it consumes this world.
Starting point is 01:01:50 So I think we should try to head down there, don't you think? Agreed. Yeah, sounds good. Uh-huh. Um, who you leave him behind? Barry volunteers. Barry volunteers to stay behind. Um, because like, he's, he's still very nervous.
Starting point is 01:02:05 He's, you know what it is? He can't swim. Barry can't swim. I can't swim. No, because they went, his jeans would get wet and that's incredibly uncomfortable. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He just can't swim and never learned how.
Starting point is 01:02:15 He has bad ears, you know? He has like those, yeah, he gets ear infections, like, every time he gets in a pool. And so he just, like, kind of gave up at a certain point. Um, but the rest of you can. So, um, You need to get into this flooded part of the city. How do you all go about doing that? We're going to have to make a couple rolls to get through this resolution.
Starting point is 01:02:36 May I make a suggestion? Sure. Davenport stay with the ship as well. Davenport really wants to come with, actually. Davenport says, we don't know what we're going to find me on there. We should have all hands that we can possibly go. I'm coming. Barry's fine.
Starting point is 01:02:48 I've been showing Barry how to fly the ship. He'll be able to get us out. I know we have a couple days, so Barry could actually just leave as soon as the hunger gets there. Like we can be ready. Taco Loop, you guys got any kind of like bubble spells or air things or... If wizards have like a breathing spell in D&D, like I'm happy to let you just do it. Yeah, yeah, we got one probably, right? Yeah, we have a...
Starting point is 01:03:11 We can make gills, I think. That sounds right, doesn't it? Definitely can in Harry Potter, so like, why not in D&D? I might be thinking of Harry Potter, but yeah, I'd definitely have a spell for breath and stuff. There's a spell called water breathing. Perfect. There you go. It sounds like what we're looking.
Starting point is 01:03:25 It's a level three transmutation spell. So, Taka, you fucking Deffo know this. Perfection. Transmutation is your shit. Okay. So, yeah, don't worry about rolling. You all can just breathe water. Magnus, you have to, like, move some stuff out of the way.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Some big heavy pieces of, like, machinery that are, like, covering up some tunnels and some, some aqueducts that allow you to sort of swim into Underton. But once you get down there, you eventually end up in one, large open, uh, chamber that the air is so stale down here, um, but it's breathable.
Starting point is 01:04:01 It's just like a little, uh, like self-contained bubble of air in this massive, uh, room in what are essentially the sewers of this city. And you sort of follow this light and this sound through the tunnels to reach this chamber. What's the symbol of the beast of the ring look like, Trap?
Starting point is 01:04:20 Oh, it's a great question. Um, I think it's, uh, it's a, it's a, it's a howling wolf. with a gear as the moon. Okay. It's just a dog yelling at some technology.
Starting point is 01:04:35 I like it. The howling wolf on a gear, all right? It's a dog who saw a gear, got really scared and yelled at it. You follow those symbols and you follow this light and sound. And for a second, you think, like, wait a minute, did we find the fucking light of creation? But as you enter in this chamber, you realize that's not what it is. what you see is a massive blue crystal that is shining and there's this swirling light inside of it and inside of the swirling light you can swear you see like people a little bit and standing
Starting point is 01:05:09 in front of this crystal is a robot and it is big and burly it's it's far larger and more imposing and like battle ready than any of the robots you saw top side and as you enter you hear a voice say, hello, I see you've found our secret here. We've discussed among ourselves what we do if this day ever came, though, to be honest, I doubted it ever would. What are you all looking for? We want to help. She says, I'm not sure exactly what that means. You want to give us some oil? or something? I'm, I've got a... There's a force coming that is going to destroy
Starting point is 01:06:00 everything. And I don't mean like the plague, I don't mean like a monster, or destroy where you just go back and find a new body. I mean unmake, everything. And it's going to be here in a couple days. Roll plus heart. All of us? No, just Magnus.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Seven. Well, the seven, she says, I'm not entirely sure why I should believe you, but if what you say is true, is there anything we can even do to fight it off? Yeah, lady, I'm afraid you're up, shit creek. I don't really know what to tell you on this one. How big is that crystal? It's huge. It's like 10 feet tall by like 8 feet wide. And Davenport is sort of in the back of your party and says, and I guess Taco and Loop, and everybody with like magical abilities is, it just like feels this immense power radiating from that crystal. And Davenport says, guys, I'm so, I'm so sorry, but we, we can't let this technology get consumed by the hunger. We can't give the hunger an army of robots and a way of transferring people into even more powerful robot bodies.
Starting point is 01:07:25 We can't – I'm sorry, we just can't do it. We have to – we have to destroy this thing. Okay. Are you doing it, Tago? Yeah, Lupa and I'll both do it. As it – this thing detects some hostile intent from you, Taco. She walks over to this pile of junk in the corner. and picks up this long, long piece of rebar from the ground,
Starting point is 01:07:51 which she, like, twirls effortlessly and then holds at the ready in front of the crystal. Loop is not, like, you step forward and did you, you said, like, loop, right? You, like, tried to get her. Yeah. She doesn't. Like, she says, she's not down with. Taco, this doesn't, this doesn't feel right. We shouldn't, we shouldn't be interfering like this.
Starting point is 01:08:14 This would be, we would be eradicated. everybody else on the planet. I don't, I don't think that's right, Taco. But, okay, but listen, that's happening. Why am I always the only pragmatist with you people? That's happening anyway. Loop gets like, she gets a little bit more defensive now. And she says, are we just going to burn every world that we can't save just to keep the hunger from getting its hands on it? How does that make us any better than them? If we don't, if we let the hunger get stronger, doesn't it make it harder to save the next world? I mean, we're still figuring this out. We're still figuring this out, but Magnus, you're telling, you, Magnus, are telling me that it makes
Starting point is 01:09:05 sense to kill this entire world just so that our enemy doesn't get stronger. That's what you, Magnus, are telling me. If we don't, we're not protecting future world. This is. This is. is hard, Lou. I'm not saying it's an easy choice. Loop goes and kind of stands between the rest of you and the, and this robot and says, like, we don't know what happens to the world's consumed by the hunger. They could still be alive in there. We could save them. This is the point where we get to decide who we are. I refuse to let us be the type of people who could destroy an entire world for any reason. This, this isn't us.
Starting point is 01:09:49 This can't be how we do this. Lulu, I really want to destroy it, though. Listen, I understand where you're coming from, for sure. But I don't, it's called the hunger, not the pocket where things are cool. Like, it's definitely a bad place, right? It's a big black thing in this. Did you see, remember when we saw Neverending Story? Wait, what?
Starting point is 01:10:20 Remember the nothing? It was a... That was two Vs. Any B, B, B, B, R. It was a scroll that we looked at. A moving scroll. It was a really good scroll. It was a great scroll.
Starting point is 01:10:29 And there was that thing than nothing, remember, with two T's? Traymark, Traymark, Traymark. And it was eating everything. Like, this is just like that. Like, we don't want it to get more powerful. This is the best understanding that we have, right? Like, unless you have more insight into it than I do. I have.
Starting point is 01:10:47 a suggestion. Why don't we leave it up to them? That's a, that's a fair point. A robot friend, um, this thing's coming and we don't know exactly what it does, but it's going to eat this whole world. Um, do you want to sort of destroy your whole civilization or are you good? Well, there's maybe a better way to phrase it than that, loop. Yeah, not a great sales job, Lulu. Uh, don't, hey, Taco. Mm-mm. Yeah. Mm-mm. She gets right up, like, face to face. I get it.
Starting point is 01:11:22 Well, let me take a shot at it. Here we go. Do you guys? That'll be good. Listen. Get comfy. I'll just start shooting it. We can't do anything to help you.
Starting point is 01:11:33 Can't do a damn thing to help you. Maybe you got another week and you're going to be gone. Okay? You're already disembodied spirits. But they're going to take your energy. They're going to take your energy. You're going to take your spirits and do horrible, horrible things. Is that why you want to hang around to help evil and help other people get destroyed?
Starting point is 01:11:57 Is that the big deal? That's why you wanted to hang out in this crystal? The robot says, we've been through a lot here. And this force that you're describing, it sounds pretty tough, but I feel like we've been through worse. I haven't met a force yet that can make me go against my will. So if the other option is the absolute destruction of myself and my people, I refuse destruction and I refuse to be consumed. And this robot, like, kind of jabs this rebar pole into the ground,
Starting point is 01:12:38 um, sort of defiantly. Okay. All right. here's the plan. This crystal is used to power your people. The souls are somehow connected to this crystal, correct? Correct. Okay.
Starting point is 01:12:57 There is a chance, as Loop pointed out, that the hunger isn't destroying everything, that there's something we can do to bring your people back from the hunger. here is what I would like to suggest. Let us take the crystal with us. I can shrink it to a small enough size that I can keep it on my person. And I will do so. And the moment that we, if we have the chance, if we have the ability to bring your people back, I will restore the crystal to its original size and location.
Starting point is 01:13:41 And it will be as though you just have. a power nap. That is the best shot. But if this force gets stronger and eats this crystal, we may not be able to stop it. This may be a moot point. But it's a chance. You have a chance. She says, how long do we have to make this decision?
Starting point is 01:14:05 I got an itchy spellfinger, so I wouldn't linger. You know how on Shark Tank that, you know the one scroll Shark Tank, where if you wait too long? Was with 2K, Shark tank, and then K. Are you wait too long to take the offer and maybe it gets worse? Like, I think this is your, my first offer is my best offer. Like Marcus Lomonas. I think we could maybe do like 12 hours. How long until your friends wake up?
Starting point is 01:14:28 You probably want to like talk it over? She says, yeah, I can't make this decision unilaterally. I'll need to, we'll need to reach a consensus. But, okay, can I ask my sister? If they don't get on board, can we destroy this crystal? We're giving them a chance. Fair? She kind of sighs, and it's like, you do what you want, Taco. I don't, I'm not going to burn a whole world.
Starting point is 01:14:53 I'm not going to destroy a whole world, Taco. I don't care if our enemy gets a hundred times stronger as a result of it. I'm not going to be the one that pulls the trigger on an entire civilization. I won't do it, Taco. I won't do it. That's fine. I won't do it if you don't do it, but these jokesters are going to either way. So here's how this resolves.
Starting point is 01:15:14 this spirit goes back into the crystal. And I think when you all get back topside, all of the robots are kind of powered down as they have this sort of like group meeting. I draw on them with Sharpie. Okay, what do you do? I draw like, just like mustaches mostly. Okay, no, okay.
Starting point is 01:15:33 No, no dirty words or anything. I'm not that. I'm just like, maybe I draw like smiley faces on the robots. Because mostly I picture them as kind of like, you know, kind of blank neutral faces. and I just kind of like draw some like raised eyebrows so they look really surprised. Or like, you know, yeah, right?
Starting point is 01:15:49 So it's like some oil, huh? What? Free oil. The hunger is coming. Huh? Huh? So here's how this resolves then. Some of, but not all of them go with it.
Starting point is 01:16:05 I think that a lot of them just stay behind and they just inhabit these robot bodies permanently at this point. they don't have this like, this like crystal. They are kind of separated from the source to live in these robot bodies, which is like not ideal for them. It's not as like safe, I guess, and not as liberating. Because if they go down in these robot bodies, they just like go down. But a lot of them do decide to like take you up on this journey and this robot is arguing this case for you, the robot that you met down in the Underton. And so that robot comes and works with you, Taco and Loop, to shrink this crystal down to go along with you.
Starting point is 01:16:50 And there's probably about 100 souls in this crystal. And hands it over. And you're taking it, Taco? Yeah. The ones that stay, I picture Magnus coaching them on like, okay, when the hunger comes, here's what we've seen so far. Be ready for this. Get somewhere. Get to the under 10.
Starting point is 01:17:10 be ready for this, buy yourself some time, by doing that kind of thing, you know, like giving them any kind of tactical insight that we've gained over the last, like, 20 cycles or whatever. And Merle's given last rights. Okay, so you take most of these people with you in this crystal, taco, that you now have, and the rest of them stay behind, and Magnus, you train them. And that robot that you met in the sewers is, she tells you all that she's staying behind also. and she brought up that rebar pole with her. And she's also helping with the training, Magnus,
Starting point is 01:17:46 because she's very, very accomplished with this thing. And I think, do you have any parting words for this robot friend before you all get in the ship and go? I think you know, like, the hunger is coming in, like, a few minutes. You hear this loud, like, boom in the sky that lets you know, like, it's time. If we can undo this, we will. At the very least, we're going to try. I wish we could promise anything else, but are you sure you don't want to come with us?
Starting point is 01:18:17 This is my home, and my neighbors, many of them have elected to stay, and I can't just leave them unprotected. Merle, do you have anything you want to see? I look in her eyes and I say, see ya, wouldn't want to be you. And I run for the ship. She chuckles. Okay. Yeah, for sure. Keep it sleazy.
Starting point is 01:18:40 All right. we're out by rum rum that's right it's a diesel engine this bad boy we don't know
Starting point is 01:18:47 why we didn't think through that I think loop also walks over to this this robot that you all have sort of
Starting point is 01:18:53 gotten to know the best out of all these folks and she says listen and then hands this robot one of the
Starting point is 01:19:00 guns that she found and says light them the fuck up and then turns and walks
Starting point is 01:19:05 onto the ship um and so the seven of you fly away in the Star Blaster. All seven of you intact, having saved, well, kind of saved the sleeping forms of a hundred of the last sort of known survivors of this world.
Starting point is 01:19:29 And the robots, their perspective on the ground, they watch you fly away as this storm starts to materialize overhead. And this main robot looks and she turns and looks at all of the other robots and just kind of nods and holds her staff defiantly. And as this storm intensifies, she is unshaken because this isn't the first storm that she has lived through. And so she does what she's done countless times before. She thinks of her friends and she prays for sunrise. and onboard the ship, I think Loop turns to the rest of you as you're flying away
Starting point is 01:20:14 before you sort of cross over, and she says, listen, that stuff I was saying down there, that wasn't just talk. I believe that one of these times we're going to get it right, and we're going to find a way to defeat the hunger and save. everybody inside of it. I I have to believe that
Starting point is 01:20:42 to keep doing what we do because I have to believe that I'm going to get those $15 back from Greg fucking Grimaldus. And she walks over to the rest of you and says, seriously though, it got
Starting point is 01:21:04 we got dark down there. I, I know this journey's been hard and it's only going to get harder, but we can't allow ourselves to get to that place again, to even think about destroying an entire world. We need to promise each other right now. We won't let one another get to that place. Never again.
Starting point is 01:21:31 Deal. Yes. Yes. Yes. I put my hand in. All right. As a rough guideline, okay. She smiles and everybody else makes their way to the center
Starting point is 01:21:42 And I think that's the last thing we see the seven of you Well the six of you Who's driving? Davenport's like I'm putting my hand in too And like he like veers the ship left And so the rest of you are just have your hands in the middle Making this promise not to
Starting point is 01:22:00 Not to destroy a world or even think about it It's funny You never see the Justice League have to make that promise You never see the team titans like, hey, from now on, no more destroying entire civilizations. No more threats of murder. Can we all agree? No more? I think the last thing we see are just like the six of you and Davenport, who is close by,
Starting point is 01:22:24 sharing this moment of determination as you all sort of share this moment. Everybody take plus one bond. Nice. As you sort of share this moment of just like, realization of how bad it just could have gotten. And as you share this promise to never get back to that place again, and I think that's what we see as all seven of you are sort of pulled apart into these beautiful white threads and into the positions that you always return to, ready now to take on whatever the next
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