The Adventure Zone - Ep. 64. The Stolen Century - Chapter Five

Episode Date: June 1, 2017

Our heroes find themselves in a strange world where artists compete for national pride, submitting their works to a mountain that can make them known throughout the land. Can the team create satisfactory masterpieces before their year is up? Merle gets academic. Taako borrows some pearls of widsom. Magnus meets a fateful friend. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously on the Adventure Zone. My background is that of a carpenter, who has become a folk hero. You built a tight chair once. You built a chair once, and the whole village came around. I built an army out of wood. Uh-huh. You are seeing a memory, and you know that you are seeing it from the perspective of the voidfish. You're inside a cave. It feels like home. And you know that because there's other voidfish here, too.

I don't want to be, I don't want to embarrass myself in front of, and like, for a example, just like, for example, like loop. We've lost a lot. There's a lot more we might lose, but the one thing we do have is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of. And it's time. So, Chancellor Marlowe takes you to the Legato Conservatory. And when the light clears, the sheet music's gone. And so is this song.

There's another flash from the cave. And we see everyone in all the kingdoms and conservatories in this whole world. even the beings living in the other planes of reality, they all hear this song too now. Well, that's the light of creation. Any questions? We're almost caught up. Do you understand yet? It's imperative you pay attention.

This isn't just some story. It's the adventure zone. So it's immediately after that musical presentation here at the stage in front of the cave. and the seven of you have talked a little bit with Chancellor Marlowe about what you just saw about this phenomenon that Chancellor Marlowe claimed to be the... Hold on, Griffin. Hold on. Don't jump ahead. We're at a reception, right? Recital. Yeah. Kind of like, are there apps? Is it like the... Are it beer and wine free?

So there are... Topas? I love tapas. There's tapas. There's a lot of finger sandwiches and a... There's probably lemonade. Nobody's really getting into it, though, because you get the impression that this type of ceremony happens a lot, and, like, if folks yummy down on these sandwiches and lemonade, like, every time they came here, probably be bad for the, probably bad for the, you know, digestion. But there's plenty of- That doesn't keep us from doing it, though, right? Yeah, you snack, down. I take a whole tray of finger sandwiches, and I'm listening intently. I don't, I don't, need my teeth to listen, you know what I mean? Sure. So, Chancellor Marlowe explains about this phenomenon

on that you heard her call the light of creation earlier. And so the first thing you learn about this cave is that nobody can go into it. It's not just like a hard and fast rule for all of the conservatories, all of which are sort of built around this mountain, sort of with their own caves leading into it. So it's not just the law of the land. Like when you try to walk in, there's a flash of light and suddenly you are walking out, just the way that you came. There are rumors, though, of a Forte Conservatory student who made their way into the

cave's entrance, their school's entrance, into the mountain after having their song selected by the light. So after conversing with Marlowe and with each other and sort of relating to her the dire importance of your mission, she offers a suggestion, you spend this year training at the Legato Conservatory and you submit a work to the mountain to what she and everyone else calls the light of creation. And if it's accepted, you might be able to gain access inside. So that is the setup for this cycle. And what do you work on this year? What craft do you work on? What work do you submit to the cave? Well, okay, so this is my question. Does it have to be music?

No, it doesn't have to be music. Marlowe explained. like the conservatory has specialties in like all of these different forms and all of these different like artistic mediums. There are sculptors and painters and dancers and there are wood carvers and there are singers and writers and yeah like so you know sculptors of all kinds of different mediums. So what, like, carving wood with, like, knives and, like, blades, weapons. Yeah. Well, I mean, they have special knives and they don't use, like, a big, they don't use, like, a big scimitar or whatever, but I guess there are sharp instruments used.

That immediately interests Magnus. Because it's a thing you could do with weapons? Yep. Okay. At first, at first, he has not learned the artistry of carving, Griffin, so it just seems violent to him, right? answer. That's interesting. You know? Okay. We'll do yours first. Well, Taco and Merle...

It was either going to be that or drumming. That would also be very good. We'll do yours first. We'll Taco and Murl sort of think of their mediums. So, yeah, I guess you get matched up with a woodcarver who is also, like, just a very gruff. And he has a very violent approach to art and just gives you, like, a big log every day to just... And I think when you start, you start out. The professor whose name is Professor Christoph, Christoph Kovacs on Twitter, thank you, Christoph,

is just like, yes, Magnus, attack the wood, show it your fury until beauty comes out of that big, sweet round log. And I want to be straight out, it's terrible at first. Oh, no, yeah, I mean, how do you get to Carnegie Hall? I don't know. Take a left at Fort Street. Magnus, make a, since I, the way you've set this up, it sounds like your art on this wood is sort of, and it starts off with just sort of attacking. So I guess make a body roll plus body. Body roll sounds like a sick dance move.

Well, Griffin, I'll be honest with you. It wasn't great. And here's why. Here's my justification. I think that attacking the wood does not prove to actually be Magnusus. Forte. So I wanted him. I'm glad he failed at it.

Because I would actually rather transition to working with a teacher who's like, no, no, no, no, no. Clearly attacking the wood is not your strength. It is finding within the wood the thing that it wants to be. Okay. Then you have a different professor, and I have to get another name from Twitter. Professor Bauer. Jonathan Bauer, thank you on Twitter, who's like, You know what you need to try.

You know what you need to try, Magnus? Magnus, you know it's time to try? A little bit of tenderness. Oh, okay. Well, I got an 11. Is that tender enough? That's extremely tender. What's the first thing you carve that you, like, really like?

Is it duck, baby? A big duck, a handheld duck? What's the... Listen, it's a slightly clumsy duck-sized duck. You know, a little... Listen, little knobbly. And there's, like, you know, a couple of... spots where you can see like a drop of blood that's soaked into the wood, you know, where like

I nicked myself doing it. But within it, it's like somebody took a lot of time and cared to do this thing that they were not inherently good at. And so in and of itself, its imperfection is what makes it beautiful. You get an A on your duck, very tender. And Professor Bauer asks, if this is what you want to submit to the cave. after your year of study. I will tell you right now,

Magnus has never been prouder of anything than he is of this duck. Okay. Take Plus 2 experience for learning this as sort of essential tradecraft to the Magnus backstory. Taco and Merle,

do either of you have a medium that you want to sort of develop some mastery in during the year? I want to become proficient in the dance. What style of dance? There's so much dance. Interpretive.

Interpretive jazz dancing where you tell the story with both body and hands. There's two, there's a professor for jazz dancing and there's a professor for interpretive dancing. They are two completely different art forms. It's two completely different art forms and they don't really, they don't really get along. And so after like a few sessions of, like, both of them trying to train you, I think, think they just kind of leave you to yourself. So after you've learned some of the basic steps of both crafts, I think it's just up to you

to sort of look within and find the interpretive jazz inside yourself and sort of bring that out into the world. The jazz in Merle. How do you... I think this would also be a body roll too because it's like dance. Like it's very physical. You do do body rolls in dance, Griffin. You do do a body roll.

All right, body roll 10. Holy shit, your body's not like your thing. That's very good. And, yeah. I think after a while, you are sort of brought on as an adjunct professor to this new type of dance at Legato, at the Legato Conservatory. And I think those two professors at the end of the movie of Merle Presents, Save the Last Dance, they get together and sort of realize the air. of their ways. And all of a sudden, like, people from the other conservatories start, like, flocking

to, to this one. They start transferring to this school just to learn this interpretive jazz dance that's just sweeping the nation that people are getting so excited about. Can you describe the dance? And I think you just would submit, like, a step chart. What does the dance look like that you submit to the cave? The first thing that happens is you have your feet completely right next to each other, and then you shift your feet so they're like a 90-degree angle. And then you do a lot of scissors steps. Okay. Now, here's the thing.

You do scissors steps with your feet front, back, front, back, front, back, front back. But with your arms, you go scissors in the air, up and down, up and down, up and down. Okay. What about the hands, man? What do you do with the hands? Well, the hands are alternating. And this is where the interpretive comes in. We are using the hands as almost like signals.

Like creatively, you're making shapes. Like if you were making shadows without light. So what are you interpreting? What sort of motif or idea or emotion? I'm watching you do this awesome scissor dance. What do I feel? A pity Well

No it's very moving And because you can see what I'm trying to get at is Is man's Injustices Against other man's Okay And that's this is because you can see this This poor figure

Trying to Well to touch God Oh So it's the Is perhaps the name of the dance god touch? It's actually called a pan-demonium. Pandemonium. Fuck, that's good.

Yeah. Take two experience, just for the name. Oh, cool. Taco, what are you working on? My art is the subtle art of aphorisms. I don't know what that means. Is that where you touch the bumps on people's heads to, like, read the future? No.

Like, little sayings, this phonology. I think. Little sayings that contain a lot of truth and sound very wise. And that's my art form. But what Taco is doing is really just recycling ones that exist in his reality and probably not this one and crediting them to himself. Because he figured that would be an easy thing to you for you. This is Hurley writing Empire Strikes Back on Lost. Like... Exactly. Right. You have a poor Richard's Almanac and you're like, don't mind if I do think you've been. Yeah. Yeah. So that's his jam. He lives like... like goes in day one and it's like how many cares one loses when one decides not to be something

but to be someone which he knows is a quote by cocoa chanelle but he just like spits it yeah no hesitation no well fantasy everyone's fantasy cocochannel if if if such a being could could ever truly exist okay okay um okay okay okay okay i i think there's probably like a philosophy class at at in this school um um um um um um okay um okay um okay um okay um okay um okay um okay uh i think there's probably like a philosophy class at at in this school that you sort of come into and just start dropping all these fucking bombs. And the philosophy professor is just really annoyed by it, I think, at first, until they realize, like, wow, Taco, this guy might be on to some shit, actually. Can you break me off another piece?

Because I think you probably have a website open. I don't. I just have these in my head. You have this dope-ass Coco Chanel quote? It's a dope quote. I have a lot of quotes about being yourself that I just remember. I just remember. I just remember.

I just remember. I just know, Coco Chanel. Here's another crocos. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. That's Dr. Seuss right there. Fuck. Now it's taco over here in this joint. That's a taco thing.

Wow. How about here I said all brokenhearted. Don't you dare. Okay. Don't you dare do this. Roll plus mind, I think. Okay. That is 11.

Wow, all good rolls. Everybody's kind of killing it. at the conservatory. I feel like I should be running this class. Yeah, I think you... He's just saying things other people say, and I'm coming up with my own dope shit. Well, kind of.

I think you lead sort of order of the Phoenix style like alt philosophy class that's all about just like being yourself and connecting with who you really are. And that definitely attracts a lot of the students here, because this conservatory

and all the conservatories are very competitive. And so there's people who come to see you and they're like, you know what? Maybe I don't want to do my art the way everybody else does it. Maybe I want to be myself. Maybe I want to explore the me that Taco says I can be. Yeah, don't look for society to give you permission to be yourself. Think about that.

Was that someone else? Or did you, was that off the dome? Mm-hmm. Yeah, Steve Mariboli. This doesn't matter. So, where's your, will to be weird. Jim Morrison, but now Taco.

Do you write these down in a book to submit to the mountain? Yeah. Okay. Oh, I think somebody writes him down for him. I probably don't. Yeah, thank you, Dad. Of course, I don't do the scribing myself. Is the book? It opens with

some people say you're going the wrong way when it's simply a way of your own. Now, that used to be Angelina Jolie, but now it's Taco from that one. That's my favorite taco quote. What's the book called? Taco's...

Taco Time. A book of inspirational aphorisms that... For the independent soul. Oh, shit, that's good. Okay. Take plus two experience. Everybody gets plus two experience points.

I would like to retroactively add something. Okay, yes. ...of people that I haven't forgotten about it. Okay. I carved that duck with my grandfather's knife that I claimed to have in the first episode of this podcast. Okay, yeah, sure. You still have that beautiful, that wonderful knife that you use for all your caravan. Let's get to, it's close to the end of the year. You have about, you have a couple

weeks left before you know the hunger is going to arrive. And so you all are scheduled for a submission, all seven of you, and the ceremony is more or less identical to the one you went to at the beginning of the year. And you've probably been to a few of these, as you sort of got to know the other students here at the conservatory. and go to like support them as they submit their their works. And this is like, this is a really, it's a terrifying thing to do because it's not, more often than not, the mountain does not sort of rebroadcast whatever it is that you submit to it. So every time that you work your ass off on this thing that you are proud of and submit

it to the mountain, there is no guarantee that it's going to be accepted and therefore it's going to be sort of eliminated completely. Eliminated even from your own mind. You won't remember what this thing is that you made. So you go to this ceremony and there's the same sandwiches and lemonade. And the seven of you take turns going up to the stage, presenting your work, which for the three of you must be a pretty fun site. And Magnus, what's yours look like? Because you made a duck in your... Yeah, I'll tell you, Griffin. Here's the thing. I've been sitting here. you're thinking about it. And I think that in the moment when he finished the duck, I think Magnus was insanely proud of it because it's something like he worked at and took his time at

that he didn't normally do. But I think that seeing people present these masterpieces, these beautiful songs or artworks that they've created, and I think that he actually gets a little embarrassed about it because, like, he's looking at this, like, knobbly, you know, stained duck. And I actually think he's a little embarrassed that he was so proud of it. of it. Oh, no. Professor Bauer comes, because your professor always goes up there with you when you do it when you submit a work. But he puts his hand on your shoulder and he's like, it's a real good duck. Show him the duck. It's a good duck. I think they'll like it. Actually making me feel a little bad for Magnus, but he presents it and whispers,

it's not perfect, but it's the best I can do. I think there's an uncomfortable smattering of applause just from people not really knowing how to respond to somebody being quite, quite this self self-effacing um there's a couple people though who are like hey great duck hey great a great little mallard buddy keep your chin up um and merle i guess your presentation is uh uh uh professor merle uh what is your presentation to the audience i'm going to actually recreate my dance okay uh and Is there music to the dance? I have actually the music in me,

but it's kind of a oomts, oomts, oomts, oomts, oomts, oomts. My favorite jazz rhythm. Yeah, oonts, and I have added one little wrinkle. I've got my arms akimbo, and my fingers are dangling down below. And with that, I am acting like tentacles. Okay. And there's a lot of head gyrations.

There's a lot of head rolls. Yeah. And just because I am, Professor Merle, a couple of pelvic thrusts. I don't see why that has to do with being a... Well, it's the sensuality because this is a very sensual dance. The interpretive jazz dancing is very sensual, very physical. It's like belly dancing. Yeah, the way you've described it sounds very sensual.

And I just am in a... At one point, I... I am so caught up in the dance, I completely lose myself. And I finish up whirling like a dervish and just going mad, becoming one with the universe and collapse in a sweaty, dwarfy heap. The audience applauds hornily. Davenport gets up on the stage and sings a beautiful tenor opera. a solo that goes on for like 18 minutes. But you are enraptured the entire time.

He's got a lovely, beautiful little voice that sort of echoes down the valley that these presentations take place in. And Lucretia gets up and presents a painting that she made. She does a painting of this, like, famous city market squirrel. like this public space that was a really sort of beautiful fixture of the town that the IPRE headquarters was in in your home. And it's been 50 years, but like you all remember this little space and it's just sort of like a still life scene of all of these people congregating in this public square. And it's a, it's a, she was a very talented painter before this year and she's only gotten better. Itaka, what is your presentation of your aphorism book look like?

I walk up to a pedestal. I drop my book on the pedestal and say, you're all very welcome. And then I walk off the stage. Yeah. All of the students who've like attended your outdoor sermons, I guess, are like very enthused. Like, yeah, that's how he does it. That's how he does it.

I'll leave you with these two thoughts that I just, I'm coming up with two for you right now. Hold on. Nothing makes one feel so strong as a call for help. Did they like that one? That's good. That's good. And that's one of the popes. One more.

One more. He's got another one. Hmm. At my final, folks, as you expressed your gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. JFK, now Taco.

You used to be JFK now. I was talking a dude in the audience, like, stands up and he's like, I've got to change some shit about me. And he immediately, like, walks off. You hear him, like, shouting down the valley, like, this is a new day for me, Reggie. It's time for a new Reggie. Bye, everybody.

Bye, old life. Don't forget to review me on good reads. You all go up and you do your presentations, and immediately you go and you submit. your works to the mountain. Taco, your book of aphorisms is quickly absorbed by the light, and then all of a sudden, like, all of your aphorisms are immediately implanted in everybody's minds, which may not be great, because I don't know that anybody's going to purchase this collection, now that they've

memorized all of it. The same happens for Lucretia and Barry. Merle, there's a flash in your dance, you don't remember the steps anymore. The step chart disappears and you don't remember anything about how you do the dance. And then like there's a real long pause as if the mountain is really thinking about it, having some sort of internal argument about whether or not they want to implant this vision of this very sensual dwarf dance. This is like that moment right before Tom Bergeron announces who won Dancing with the Stars, isn't it? And the winner is

Please please please please And it flashes and everybody does in fact see your form doing the dance Yeah Magnus you submit your duck up to the pedestal And there is a flash and it is taken And then very quickly there is like a very faint flash From the mountain But it seems to still get the job done

Because everybody immediately remembers this great duck that you made For whatever reason, the mountain really was enthusiastic about your duck and rebroadcast it. Magnus starts crying. Oh. The last two people to go up on stage. So is Taco, if that's all we have to do. Fine, yeah. Taco does too a lot. Merle cries.

More cries. More cry is even more. And Taco cries more as Morles' crook. This is profound. This is so heavy. The last two. people to present their work to the audience and to the mountain is Barry and Loop. And you haven't like seen them much this cycle. They've been spending like a lot of

time together, specifically working on this, this work that they are going to present to everybody. And it's not uncommon for them to like go off like this. Like they are at this point like very close collaborators on a lot of the things that they do. Most of the time, like studying different parts of the the worlds that you're in. But this time they got together to work on this very, very specific craft. And as they approach the stage and sit down, Taka, you can't remember the last time you saw Loop nervous, but she is. Barry's always nervous, and he's in rare form here.

But Loop also seems kind of anxious about this performance. And she walks up and she picks up a violin. and Barry sits down at a big grand piano, and they play a duet. And in watching them play this composition, you realize really for the first time just how profoundly Barry and Loeb's relationship has changed. Time is different for the seven of you than it has been for anyone else who ever lived. During your 100-year journey, you don't age, thanks to whatever forces keep putting you back together at the beginning of each year. Your minds stay sharp. You learn skills and languages and new proficiencies. You become remarkably capable adventurers during your voyage on the Star Blaster.

But it's not just your minds that develop. Across this ageless century, something less quantifiable develops too. Our capacity for love increases. with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives and with each moment we spend with those people. But too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favor of others. And by the time we realize just how important it is, we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with. But the seven of you have something that nobody else ever had. Time. All the time in the world. Time enough to grow indescribably close.

Time enough to learn how to care for each other, how to allow yourselves to be cared for. And in the case of Barry and Loop, time enough to fall deeply and truly in love. Barry felt it first during a particularly challenging year, Loop caught him crying. And she softly and sincerely consoled him. And just for a moment, the professional wall between them, came down and something shone through. Loop wasn't far behind. Her moment of realization was a bit more innocuous.

During that cycle with the robots, Barry helped repair the small frame of a vessel housing a particularly rambunctious spirit. And it kept shocking him and laughing. And Loop laughed too, and she knew. This new love, it wasn't their focus during the journey. Barry worked tirelessly to understand each world you traveled to, to understand the hunger and figure out a way to defeat it. Loop grew furiously in arcane power, studying the mystical secrets of the plains, hoping to master whatever spell would break your team out of their desperate retreat.

But there were moments between those studies. Meals shared in secret, just the two of them, under the guise of their work. Sightseeing trips for two across these doomed war. And that love grew, and it grew until it reached the point that all great loves grow toward. The point of inevitability. Looking back, this performance is where that love that Barry and Loop cultivated quietly and cautiously over the last half century truly bloomed. There was romance in every measure and longing in every note. And after the performance, they take each other's hands high in the air, and they swoop down for this over-the-top bow, just laughing at the drama of it all. And the audience cheers, and Barry and Loop laugh, and they don't let each other's hands go.

And then they stop laughing, and they don't let each other's hands go. And they keep not letting go. and Loop says, Barry, do you want to go talk somewhere for a while? And Barry says, Yeah. And Loop goes and puts their sheet music up on the pedestal, and there's a flash of light from the cave,

and the beautiful duet they just played is gone from your minds. And seconds later, there's a second flash, and the song returns, and there's a roar of applause from the audience. And Barry and Loop's professor is searching for, for them in the crowd, just hoping to congratulate them. But they're already gone, running back up the valley to the conservatory, hand in hand. Magnus leads down to Merle.

I'm really glad I didn't go last. It's Professor Merle. Hey, everybody, this is Griffin McElroy, your dungeon master, your best friend, and your local HVAC repair person. Looks like you got a skunk up here again. Damn it, Jeff. Thanks for listening to Episode 64, The Adventure Zone. It's the, I don't know, fourth or fifth episode in the Stolen Century Arc. I feel like this arc is going to be like much, much longer than I originally anticipated,

colon the Griffin McElroy story. But I hope you're enjoying it. I think there's probably about two episodes left in the tank for this arc before we get into the finale zone. so I have a lot of work to do. Got a bunch of sponsors and stuff to tell you about here in this ad break. Got a Jumbotron message for Josh, Ethan, Megan, and Jocelyn, and it's from David, who says, Josh, Ethan, and Megan. When Jocelyn started school, I had no idea that three of her classmates would become my best friends,

but I'm lucky you did. Happy graduation. Jocelyn. You handled grad school with poise and grace. that is stunning and have grown into a good, good counselor. I'm so proud of you. Now on to the next Adventure Zone. Please don't start another thing called Adventure Zone.

Please. There's apparently like 100 kids play places and go-car and mini-golf facilities that either we stole their IP or they said, I'm confused about what the order of order was, but we don't need any more competition. But thank you very much, David and Jocelyn and Megan and Ethan and Josh. Congratulations on graduating people who graduated. Here's a message for Keely and Mary, and it's from Mary and Keely, who say, remember that time at Homer's wedding when we realized we were listening to the same episode of Mbim-Bim,

even though Keely was listening to them chronologically and Mary was listening reverse chronologically, that's how we know we were fated to be besties, much love and many lulls. That's some serendipity-ass shit right there, and I feel it. It means something. I don't know what it means, but my astrological sign points to, good. I want to thank everybody who's been tweeting about the show using the Zonecast hashtag. There's only a few episodes left in this arc. Although I imagine we will continue our policy of naming characters after people who spread the word about our show, even once we move on to new stuff. What else? What else? Thanks to Maximum Fun for having us. You can go to MaxFund. MaximumFund.org and go check out all the great shows there.

Shows like Judge John Hodgman and throwing shade and lady to lady. And one bad, mother and the Beef and Dairy Network, a bunch of good shows all free at maximum fun.org. Or you can go to macaroyshows.com and go watch videos that we make or listen to other podcasts that we do, because we do a lot of stuff. Oh, and the song you just heard and are about to hear again is Salute Demore by Edward Algar, performed by Emmanuel Salvador. And it's very pretty, and it's about to play right now. I think that's it. Next. episode is going to be up on June 15th. So, oh, that's during E3. Oh, no. We'll figure something out. So I'll talk to you then. Bye. So after the submission ceremony, the crowd of students and patrons

has cleared out. It's a few hours later. I do want to just echo what I'm sure the audience is thinking right now. And that's, I'm really disappointed. I don't get to hear my brother do a romance scene with himself. I was, I was really hoping. Your skin is It would be the audio equivalent of wrapping your arms around yourself to make it look like you're making out with someone. So it's after the ceremony and it's just the seven of you with Chancellor Marlowe in front of the cave. And all of your works have been accepted. And so she gestures you toward the cave. And one by one, you all approach the entrance and walk inside.

and one by one, you are all rebuffed by the lights flashing. And after this, Davenport gets kind of frantic. And he says, well, well, great. Now what? The world's boned in like 10 days unless we can get in there. Loop, can you just blow it up? And Loop is like, can I blow up a mountain? I mean, yeah, but let's save that for last resort, okay?

And Marla is like, I'm going to have to firmly request. that you don't blow up our sacred mountain. And so the eight of you sort of retire and sort of strategize on how to get into this, this mountain, since this thing that you've been working towards this whole year just didn't work. And you have a nice meal. The food at the conservatory is like really, it's actually really good. It's like for dinner you have this like rich duck stew with roasted corn. And everybody gets a full belly.

And after sort of a fruitless meeting, everybody goes to sleep. Everybody except Magnus. Magnus, you can't sleep. What do you do when you can't sleep? You know, I imagine it's kind of a calisthenics thing, you know, like start moving around, start walking. I imagine he's probably a like can't sleep, workout, run, jog kind of person. All right, yeah, okay, that's great.

You do a, you're doing a jog around sort of the conservatory campus. You're the only one up. It's about 1 a.m. And you run and you run, and you run to the gate, and the gates are open, and there's a guard, the night shift guard kind of nods to you as you run through their gate. And down the valley, it's a nice sort of hiking path, down the valley, down to where the submission area is. When you get to the submission area, it's sort of a partially moonlit night. There's clouds in the sky so that you can't see especially well.

But when you get close to the cave, you see a, you see a, you see a, you. bright light in front of the cave, outside of the cave, and this light is moving around. And as you get closer and sort of approach cautiously, you see what looks like a, some sort of jellyfish. And it's, it is hovering in the air. And it is sort of using its, it's, its tentacles to sort of push itself around in the air, floating around. And you think it sees you because when you sort of come into the clearing, it, it hums like this high-pitched note and doesn't seem to like run away from you or be scared of you as you get closer. Magnus hesitates. Okay.

So does Travis. It starts to move into the cave kind of slowly, still kind of like swimming in the air. I would move towards it kind of hand up and like, oh, wait, wait, wait. kind of gesture, you know, hand out. Yeah, the light, the light disappears and goes into the cave. And you stand there for like a second and then it reemerges and kind of like hums at you again. And then starts to again slowly move back into the cave. Magnus rushes in.

Okay. You, um, you enter into the cave and you tried this earlier in the day and were like immediately turned, turned around by the mountain. But as you enter the cavern's mouth tonight, there's no flash of light. You walk deeper and deeper into the belly of this mountain. It's getting a little bit colder. You're probably wearing some short jogging gear. And so you move into the belly of this mountain for what feels like 10 minutes. And you're just squeezing through a few tight passageways.

And your path is illuminated by this creature, this glowing jellyfish-like creature as it moves deeper and deeper. and leads you into the central chamber of this cave system. And it's fucking massive. You see other sort of caverns leading out of it in all directions, and you assume, like, oh, this is what connects to all of these different conservatories all around this continent. This chamber is mostly dark, but there are these twinkling, multicolored crystals all over that casts these dancing lights all across the room. And you're still following this jellyfish that's sort of playfully leading you inside.

But as soon as you enter this chamber, there are a bunch of other creatures, like the one you've been following, that sort of float towards you. And they're larger. They're larger than the one you've been following. And you don't know much about them, but you sense sort of a defensiveness about them. But you see the smaller creature kind of hum at them almost as if it's saying like, no, he's cool. And after some communal humming between all of them, the larger creatures float off. And so you follow this little baby jellyfish into a nook in the side of the chamber, and it shows you this collection of odds and ends. There's a pile of those multicolored rocks that are glowing, and they are sort of casting a kaleidoscopic shower of light all around this little nook.

And there's a row of glass bottles that are neatly organized by size. There's a bed of moss that you assume is where this creature lays its head at, or I guess it's jelly cap at night. That's the technical term, jellycat. I think so. I'm not a jellyfishologist. Next to that bed is your carved wooden duck. And it hovers over to it and it kind of like wraps its tendrils around it, kind of gleefully and rolls around in this bed with your duck. And it sings a little song.

And then it floats back towards you and then floats back to the duck and hums at you. I made that duck. It hums at you and even high. pitched like happier little song. And sort of hands, it floats over and picks up the duck and hands it to you. And then it takes it away from you again and sets it down on the bed. Okay. I sit down on the bed with it, with the duck.

It makes, it takes some of the moss off the bed and it roughly shapes it into the shape of another duck next to the wooden duck and like points at it and then points to you. Do you want me to make another one? It's saying, like, yes, yes, yes, yes. It sings like this really, really, like, joyous refrain in this humming voice that you've heard. It wants more ducks. I don't have any wood with me. The light inside of it starts to dim a little bit, and it looks kind of sad. But I can make you more.

I can bring you more back. With that, the light sort of picks up again, and it does a little dance and sings its happy song. it's called a bell with jellyfish head oh i'm gonna stick with jelly cap it's better okay jelly cap sounds like a euphamas of riconda by the way but go on um so you have this sort of like as best you can conversation with this with this jellyfish this glowing jellyfish creature

um and you get the sense that it wants you to bring it more ducks and so you promise to make more and you spend a little bit more time in here um send more ducks And as you sort of walk around this central chamber magnus, you have sort of upsetting realization. The light of creation isn't in here. The light of creation isn't like it's, it maybe was never in this mountain at all. What you put together is just by a pretty unfortunate coincidence, this phenomenon that these, these fish seem to be able to create where they, delete these works of art from the world and then rebroadcast them to the world at their

pleasure is it just happens to be a phenomenon that the people of this world called the light of creation and when you make that realization it hits you like a sack of bricks because you've got now nine days um and that's probably not going to be enough time for you all to to find what you need to find to save this world. Do you come back with more ducks? Of course. I know we just jump from sort of a high-stakes thing to a much lower-stakes thing. I would, here's what I would say, Gervin.

I come back with more ducks, but I would definitely have a conversation with Barry about this. Yeah, I think you- Just one-on-one at first with Barry as like kind of our science officer of like, hey, so like, here's what happened. it's not there, Barry. Barry says, well, shit, that sucks. He's, like, in a great mood. He's, like, really, he's like, for the rest of this cycle, like, he's just really,

you tell him, like, we're not going to be able to save this world, and he's like, ah, shit. Okay, well, I'm really sorry to hear that. I mean, I'll go, I'll do a few laps around the world, see if I can't figure something else out, but, um, hey, Loop, you want to come, help me find the live creation. It wasn't in the mountain. And Luke's like, hell yeah. And the two of them, like, take off in the Star Blaster and try to do some last-minute reconnaissance to find the light.

Do you bring more ducks? I do bring more ducks. Of course I bring more ducks. How many ducks are you able to bring to it that first night back? Let's see. In 24 hours, I think I could carve three ducks. Okay. Did he tell us or just Barry?

Okay, fine. I told them. I was just being difficult. Oh, Magnus. Taco and Merle, what do you get? Do you all do anything when you find this out? Yeah, I call a meeting in the town. Okay.

Hi, everybody. I'm Taco, you know, from TV. And I... Sorry, go ahead. No, you just haven't been on TV yet. Is this just the thing you say about yourself? It's aspirational. It's aspirational.

Exactly. Hi, everybody. I'm Taco from TV. And you're wanged. You're all pretty much in a bad way. pretty badly and there's good news and bad news the bad news I've covered

pretty exhaustively with the fuckness that you are the good news is that you have a shot there's a thing called the light of creation that's not what you call it but there's another thing that it's like a big

bright white I describe it for them okay it's a big bright white thing and normally we don't enlist people but here's something I know about you all you currently

have the most inspirational shit mankind and by mankind, I mean me, has ever written in your heads held simultaneously. You motherfuckers believe in yourselves probably more than any group that has ever been assembled in all of human history. Correct? Yeah, that's us. Yeah, we feel great. I'm number one. I'm number one. We all sound like friend on Bob's burgers. So here's what we're going to do. If you got a whole get it, the faster, faster the better. If you can take people with you, go, we're all going to split up and find this fucking light, because you people have some real un-earned confidence that I'm going to capitalize on in a major, major way. So let's get out there, split up,

talk to everybody, see if anybody's seen it, and let's make it go to this together, huh? As a team. Roll plus heart, Taco. Ten. Um, okay, with it, so, uh, I think what happens here is a lot of the students here at the conservatory are like so, so like, um, it's like stressed about their work and their craft. Um, and also like the seven of you just rolled up from another reality and then like 100% of you got works submitted and accepted by the voidfish. And I think folks are feeling maybe

even more competitive than normal. Um, and so like, majority of the student body is like, okay, and then they go back to practicing the harpsichord or whatever, your students that you, like, met with under the tree, you're like die-hard devotees, they're like, whatever you say taco, we'll absolutely, we'll dedicate their, how long do we have? How long do we have? And you sort of share some of the information with them. And they immediately, they are tireless. They do not sleep the next nine days as they go around looking for the light of creation. I do a moving interpretive dance convincing my students to go with his students. Okay, all of your students come together.

And your two groups of students, the masters of dance and the masters of self, come together and form a search party looking for the light of creation. both of you take plus one bond just with like your students that have come together to try to help you out and I guess help themselves out and they don't find the light of creation. What they do find is one of the students, one of your students, brings back this glimmering singing diamond that they found in one of the professor's rooms. and the professor's like away and they went in their room and saw this bright shining light and they bring this to you more

and they're like, is this it? Is this the light of creation? And it's not, it's just this like singing diamond. What do you do? Um, well kids, uh, this is not the light of creation, but it certainly would go a long way to accompanying me when I dance.

So you take it? Yeah. All right, take plus one asset. And Taco, your students bring you a... An apple. Ever-burning lamp that one of Kilvin students made. Okay. One of them brings you a golden glowing apple that they brought from one of the, like, workshops.

And it's just like some students work that they made this like glowing, bright apple. But it looks like... It actually looks like incredibly valuable. made with like incredibly valuable materials and he handed to me. Is this it? Taco? Is this the light of creation? That's it.

You all got it in one. I'll take this with me for safekeeping. And as a reward, as your professor, I'm giving everyone the next eight days off. So get out of town and just try to kick it. For eight, the next eight days, I don't want you to think about anything important. get people you love around you get out there have the time of your fucking lives seriously

here drinks are on me and I give him whatever coin I've accumulated in this podunk reality and just have have a great time out there for eight days take plus one asset for this cool golden apple you all are really writing this down right I cannot stress how important these numbers are going to be

I have a chart in front of me along with the ducks dido I would like I would like to take Lucretia with me when I return to the cave. Yeah, she's really fucking curious about these fish. And I think this, every time you go to the cave and bring back more ducks, this baby fish, like, meets you at the mouth of the cave and leads you in. And when it sees Lucretia come in with you, it kind of recoils a little bit and tries to hide.

No, no, no. She's not only super nice. She also likes collecting. She collects, too, just like you. and she shows this fish some of the drawings in her book

in her books I guess and the void fish warms up and kind of brushes up against her and she kind of laughs and sure enough this baby fish leads you deeper back into the cave

and the first time Lucretia comes with you those other fish the bigger ones kind of come over to her one of them there's like a there's a pretty big like pond in the center of this chamber that these stalactites are just constantly dripping down into one of these fish just like splashes out

of the pond and like splashes lucretia in like a huge like sit too close at sea world wave um and she like turns her she turns quick and tries to get her books away but gets like doused by this water and she's like kind of horrified. She's like, oh, God. Oh, God. It doesn't smell very good, Magnus. It got in my mouth. This is awful.

Why do you keep coming in? That was a mistake. You got to keep your mouth close in situations. Like, once you get splashed, trust me. What do you want? Pink eye, got close your eyes, cover your mouth. Come on. Day one stuff.

And so you hang out with Lucretia and the voidfish. How many, over the next few days, How many ducks do you bring in? I mean, I think I can max do three ducks a day, but don't get you wrong. They're getting better. You know what I mean? There's definite duck improvement. Lucretia, like, spends her time in this cavern with you.

You spend it, like, sort of hanging out and playing ducks with the baby fish while Lucretia, like, illustrates some of these creatures, tries to, like, understand their anatomy. Also, I also, I don't want to miss an opportunity, you know. I'd also love to petition the fish, the jellyfish, and see if they know anything about the light of creation. I mean, as long as we're looking for help, they've collected all this information and they know all of these things. I would love to try to convey to them what I'm looking for. Yeah, I mean, this conversation is just going to be always sort of by nature of the thing,

like, one-sided. I don't think that they know how to, like, tell you whether or not they know what you're talking about. Um, but you spend a lot of time with this creature, this baby fish, the smallest one, the one that always leads you into the cave. And you feel this like, you feel a bond with it. Um, take, take plus two bond, um, for spending time here with Lucretia and spending time with this baby void fish. Um, and, can I just address the elephant in the room, Griffin? Yeah. I'm not leaving that fish behind. When the hunger comes to this world, for the first time in a long time, the seven of you are surprised. It's early by a couple of days. And unlike its other appearances where it kind of forms like a storm overhead and then touches down across the world erratically, it's just, boom. It's just immediately on top of you.

you're having breakfast in the conservatory lounge and then the sky turns black and the grass turns gray and it's just there. It's like it knew where you were. And immediately Davenport is like bug out, we're up in the air in two minutes and fucking runs out of the room

towards the Star Blaster and other folks follow suit. Magnus, what do you do? Loop, don't leave without me. And I go. Loop says, why?

We need to get, we need to, we need to bounce. Look up. Look up, bud. It's, it's the big H.

It's time to roll. Do you remember with the robots and you stopped us all from doing something terrible? Yeah. I'm stopping you all. Don't leave without me. And I go, full sprint, full sprint.

All right. She pulls out a wand and, Barry pulls out a wand and they turn to all of you and loops like, um, looks like we need to hold off the apocalypse for a few minutes and buy some time. Y'all down? Hell yeah. Yeah, we haven't fought shit in like a month.

Um, so the, the scene is you, Magnus rushing, uh, into the mouth of the cave while everyone else is just sort of standing on the star blaster, which is parked out on this lake,

um, sort of adjacent, to the valley there, just sort of firing shots at everything, approaching the ship, and firing shots at things sort of attacking the conservatory, which because of your efforts is partially evacuated, Magnus Roll plus body. Hell yeah. That would be an 11. You make it into the cave so fast.

And even though the fish isn't there to greet you at the mouth, you. still make it in okay and you reach the center of the of the chamber and all of the big jellyfish that you've seen in here are all sort of submerged under the water of the pond and the baby jellyfish is sort of floating above it sort of like singing singing to them but they are not they're not answering and it seems kind of panicked and there's the ground is starting to sort of shake beneath your feet and there are rocks sort of peeling off the walls you see one of the entrances that leads to to one of the other conservatories, just collapse, like, immediately adjacent to you. I pull out a duck that I have with me.

Okay. That I was going to give the fish later. Okay. It flies over to you, and it sings a song, but you can tell it seems kind of nervous about all of its, like, family members or whatever, not coming with. And you hear some, you hear Lucretia's voice shouting down the mouth of the cave. that you just came through, and she's saying, like, Magnus, we have to go. Get it or don't, but we've got to go. Come on. Can I see the other fishes around?

They're deep, deep underwater in this pond in the middle of this massive cavern chamber. I look down in the water and say, I'll protect it. I promise, and I grab it and run. Okay, I'll use that body roll that you used earlier because, like, this thing doesn't understand being grabbed. It doesn't know what you're doing. And it kind of fights you a little bit, but you're just sort of... I start humming. Okay, you're humming the song that you've heard it hum a few times, and it seems to calm it down. And you and Lucretia just sort of race, she's like firing off shots too at these like shadows

that are starting to like full force sprint at you as you make your way back to the ship. And she clears a path for you two to, for you three to run. back to the Star Blaster and get on board and take off. And Davenport like just throws this thing like a dart into the sky, just like the fastest acceleration that you've felt this thing give this whole time as it launches up into the sky. And as you're flying up and past the barrier, there's a moment of tension and anxiety where you don't know if this thing's going to be there after you pass through the barrier between realities. You've seen, you know, small animals or whatever stay,

and you've seen people disappear. But as you pass through that barrier, both you and Lucretia are just staring intently at the fish, just desperately hoping. And as your vision clears, you see it. And it's still floating in front of you. It's a little confused, obviously, but it's here and it's safe.

and it would stay safe for the rest of your journey across existence. The next year, you and Lucretia find a big glass tank, and she keeps it in her quarters. Her cabin was always bigger than yours, and you'd go to it from time to time, to sing it songs or give it carvings. Your repertoire expanded, but it still likes your ducks the best. It delighted in your company.

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