The Adventure Zone - Ep. 67. Story and Song - Finale, Part One

Episode Date: July 13, 2017

Our heroes' memories have returned. At the end of everything, will they stand together against the encroaching darkness? Or will their past sins leave them irrevocably driven apart? Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously, on the Adventure Zone, you also do not remember the hunger. You are being assailed by some invisible force. You can't cast magic. Like, your magic comes from Pan, and Pan's gone. Pan's not with you. Pan's not connected to you anymore. So the source for your magic that you tap, it's gone. Merle is completely disconnected from his divine source.

But who will heal us? Where Loop went? she didn't intend to end up there, and she certainly didn't intend to spend as much time away as she did. And all you had to go on was a note that she left behind on that kitchen table back soon. We came from another world, another reality. We were pursued by a destructive force beyond measure or comprehension. When we came to this world, the seven of us, we made the relics to try to hide the light that they contained from the hunger that would consume us. But it was a mistake.

I fed a record of our mission to the voidfish. And I made you all forget. I made the world forget. You see massive, half-mile-wide tendrils of living darkness warming out of the sky above and colliding with the ground below to form thick, swirling pillars. And from those pillars, the heart, Hungar's armies have begun to manifest, marching outward to raise the world below.

It's the end of the world again. You're ready. Ready for the final piece of our story. Ready for the end to begin. It's the adventure zone. When people talk about that day, they call it, well, some of them call it lots of different things. The apocalypse. The cataclysm.

Some simply call it the attack. Religious types, the ones who felt abandoned by their absent gods in those moments. They call it Judgment Day, a sort of punishment for the world's wicked ways. One particularly poetic title, some use, is the Day of the Unseen Invasion. Though I take umbrage with that one. After all, there were those who knew something was coming. The Reaper known as Cravets in his kingdom of death, he knew because he could see it all around, choking the astral plane, cutting it off from the rest of the system. He was safe, but only just safe. He needed out. He needed to fulfill his sacred duty back in the living world.

And so in that place, filled with those who'd profaned the laws of life and death that he swore to uphold, The reaper known as Cravitz struck a deal. The medium Paloma saw it, too, in a manner of speaking. In the morning, her crystalline prophecies, which hung for decades from the ceiling of her humble hut in the town of refuge, fell and shattered in unison. Her home was flooded with visions of the two catastrophes this day could bring, a world of darkness or a world of ash. When the visions cleared, Paloma surveyed her ruined home.

her livelihood was gone, save for one prophecy that stayed suspended. Carefully, she cut it down and gathered the citizens of this once-time-sick village. They would travel east to the time and place where they were required. The scientist Lucas Miller couldn't see the hunger, but in his gemstone windows to the world's outside, he could see the chaos it inflicted, the troubled currents of the elemental planes, the explosive disruptions of the plane of magic, the outright panic in the bustling cities of the plane of thought. And here, in his world, the damage was indescribable. Months ago, he had made a promise to atone for his past sins by doing some measure of good with his life. Today he would

see that promise fulfilled. And Istis, the goddess of fate, well, she sees everything. the other deities toiled and conspired to find a way out of the celestial plane in which they were trapped, Istis continued her divine and meticulous work. The tapestry she wove would tell the story of this day, but the tapestry was incomplete. She didn't know the shape of it, not yet. That simply wasn't how it worked. In time, the full arc of her efforts would be revealed to her, but for now, all she could see was its origins. A dome-shaped room where a family that once wondered through existence for a century were reunited, truly reunited at last.

In the 60 seconds that passed since your memories returned, a lot of stuff happened. So here's the scene. In the center of this main dome of the Bureau Balance headquarters are you, Taco and Merle, and you're struggling to stay standing after the weight of the revelations that were just sort of bestowed to you. In front of you, near the dais at the back of the room, are Lucretia, who is still inside of her semi-transparent bubble, channeling the final portion of the light of creation out of the animus bell and into her staff, and Davenport, who is kneeling just with his face in his hands. Magnus, you're on your knees near the entrance to this dome, and Barry is

helping to keep you upright. When you entered, he scrambled to you and helped you get inoculated and sort of sent you down the same centuries' worth of memories that your teammates just explored moments ago. Near the relic disposal chamber, that great white spherical room where all the relics were seemingly destroyed, is Killian and Carrie. And Carrie is helping to bandage up Killian's wounded arm, and she just keeps nervously kissing her forehead over and over. And Barry throws them the flask of Icar after inoculating U. Magnus and tells them to drink, and after reading the room a little bit, they oblige. Noel has her robotic arms outstretched, and she's barring the door into this dome, while Angus is magically levitating some furniture

to build a wall in front of the entrance to the room. And outside, through the glass walls of the dome, you can see bureau members running for cover and a horde of shadows just pounding at the entrance to this dome. And above, you see the hunger. And for the first time in a long time, you truly appreciate the fact that the apocalypse is happening here and now. What do you do? I pull out the umbra staff and I point it at Lucretia. Um, she's just kind of staring you down. 10. Nine. She's, she's, at Taco, I know you're upset. I draw the flaming, raging, poisoning sort of doom and pointed at her. She said, listen.

Seven. Please listen to me. Please. Six. I look at the other two and say, what the hell are you doing? Five. The chance to explain yourself was about a dozen memories ago. And honestly, seven seconds ago, I'm doing this cool countdown.

You fucking took everything from me. I know that things went wrong. I know I shouldn't have kept you all in the dark for as long as I did. I swear, I had no idea how arduous attention. task this was going to be. I know I have a lot to atone for, but please, just, I'm begging you. Let me finish this. And then we can talk about it. Fine. What are you finishing? She says, I'm going to cast my barrier around this world and stop the hunger once and for all. Aren't they already here? She says, it's not, it's not too late. I can still, I can still keep them out.

And Barry turns towards Lucretia and he says, Lucretia, you can't do this. You can't do this. We told you why the barrier is not going to work. It's going to sever every bond this world's ever had. Please, I know why you did what you did, but you just can't do this. You know, honestly, do whatever you want. I don't care anymore. Lucretia says, Taco, please just trust me. It's what we did to this world, you know it wasn't right.

We made a promise almost a hundred years ago. Lucretia, do you realize that you remember the, Taco just realized he lost his sister. This isn't the time for you to explain yourself. Taco, listen, I know this is tough, but you found her. Maybe not how you expected to, but when you weren't looking, you found her. That's the connection. That's how strong your connection is to loop.

She's still helping you. You're still working together. And she wouldn't want you to give up. I appreciate what you're trying to do, and I'm on board for whatever the plan is. But understand this, I have nothing, and I don't give a shit. The world is ending, and I don't care. Lucretia says, this is going to be hard to hear, but remember, almost a century ago, Luke made us promise that we would never again put a world in danger,

just to thwart the hunger's plans, and that is exactly, exactly what we did to this world. And that's why I took steps to fix it. What makes you think she wasn't out there trying to do this exact same thing when she disappeared? And Davenport turns towards Lucretia, kind of looks up from his kneeling position, and he says, Where's the ship, Lucretia? We need to leave before it's too late. This plan, it didn't work, so we leave here, and we, we, we, We try again.

We leave here and he turns to you, Taco. And he says, Barry, Taco, we leave here and Loop comes back. What? Oh. We leave here. We start a new cycle and we're all back together again. That's how it works, remember? Okay.

You know, we can't run away this time, dude. I mean, Taco's life has gone to shit. Okay, that's fine. But I got kids. And, you know, Magnus, we got all these people relying on us. And you hear Angus speak up from the door. He says, sirs, please don't, don't go. Don't leave us to this.

Please. And Davenport says, I'm sorry, kid, but it's, this is the end of everything. If we get caught up here, we just, Lucretia, where's the Star Blaster? And Lucretia doesn't answer. She just keeps channeling this spell. Yeah, I'm sorry. You guys can do what you want, but I'm not running this time. Can't do it. I'm too old for this shit. I'm going to hang around. You do guys do what you think best. Well, here's the good news as far as that plan goes. Only one of us needs to take the ship. The rest of us can stay and fight.

Carrie says, actually Killian speaks up first. She says, hey, Merle, I could really, I could use a heel over here, bud, if you can break me one off. Yeah, that would be awesome, wouldn't that? Wouldn't that be great if I could do a heel? Sorry, kiddo. I've been cut off from the source. Pan eight answer in my calls. Carrie stands up after fully bandaging up Killian's arm, and she says,

listen, running away? That's not how we do things here in the fucking B-O-B. Now, everybody just stop and just explain what the, fuck is going on so we know how to um taco and merle make a dexterity saving throw hell yeah dundas and dragons is back we're back and we're rolling dice and this dice have 20 sides yeah we're rolling dice i got 20 sides and 20 numbers it's great oh that one okay two wow good whoa whoa i got a two as well it can never start the ceiling above you explodes in a shower of glass and you hear something that sounds like a deafening roar,

like a train speeding by you. And Taco and Merle, you sort of dive backwards, but you are a little bit too slow. Both of you take, wow, 16 points of damage as these big shards of glass fall and cut you as they smash down to the floor. and you hear this noise and you are cut by this glass as the ceiling explodes as a thick black opal tindril smashes down through the dome and fastens itself to the floor with a splat of inky slime. Let's roll initiative. Of course, now I have my natural 20. 16 plus 2, 18.

19 No I have a 19 And Give me a second Because I have a lot of shit to roll for you Oh cool Great

Oh yeah I guess you got a lot of MPCs in this battle Don't you Sure do How's your Raylar Griffin Really good I need to cut it into fucking nine parts

For this one Five figures step out of the column In the center of this room All of which are comprised of the same black opal material that comprises the rest of the hunger. The first is a massive four-armed skeleton that leaps out of the column towards Carrie and Killian, the latter of which rolls out of the way and readies her crossbow. And she yells dibs.

And the second figure is a centaur, which I promise I had prep before we recorded this last episode of Mbim-Bam. And he's holding a massive battle axe. And the centaur springs out of the column towards Lucre. but he bounces awkwardly off of her barrier and crashes on top of Davenport. And Barry, seeing this, he runs to the aid of his captain. And finally, three figures step out of the column and towards the three of you. The first is an enormous floating hand that is facing you with an open palm and its fingers are waving maliciously in the air.

The second is a tall, slender humanoid figure with an odd cylindrical shaped head. and it's holding two deadly looking scimitars. And the third figure is a fucking rhinoceros. Dibs. And as you grab your weapons and prepare for battle, Taco, you feel something brush up beside you. It's Angus, who's taken position next to you with his wand held in the dueling position you taught him.

And he looks up at you, and without speaking, just nods. Taco, you're up first. Wait, Griffin, I need you to edit this, because I said the wrong word and I don't want to hear about it on Twitter. It's Ailer, not Raylar. And I'm going to say it now so you can edit it later.

Well, no, I'm going to leave all this in and people are just going to sort of dump on. No, you're going to get dunked on. No. The way I have this broken down is those first two enemies I described are not going to be your sort of purview. The three of you and Angus

are going to be taking on these other three enemies. Taco. You're first in the order. You have hand. You have swordsmen. and you have rhinoceros. I spin towards the hand. Okay.

Hey, give me five. I cast... Starting off with one of these, huh? Immolation. Okay. You got to make a dexterity saving throw. 15.

Well, no, sir, it's not going to beat 18, which is the new shit you got to beat. Oh, yeah, let's talk about this real quick. Sorry, I should have started this fight by talking about this. So, sorry for the interruption. Folks at home, this fight, it's going to be rad. But I had you all before we recorded this episode, spend the experience points that you earned in the stolen century. And I sent you a table of how you could spend them to either level up or unlock stat points or unlock feats, which is like a D&D 5th edition thing that we have never ever touched on.

They're like special abilities and special properties that you can add on to your character when you level up instead of taking on stat points. And so I sent you a table on how to spend these. I think Taco, you had a shit ton of experience at the end of it. And Merle and Magnus had a little bit less. So how did you all level up? And if you could give me just like a little bit of flavor on how your characters have changed, that would be awesome. I went up three levels. I had six experience points.

So I went up three levels. So I went to... 15. Did you get any new shit? Get back to me. Let the other guys go first. Cool. I'm hugging all the mic time.

I'll go. So remembering my training on the animal planet, my strength, the cunning I learned, training with the bear, I have gone up two levels to become a level 12 fighter and a level two rogue. You were watching a bunch of Jackson Galaxy, my cat from hell on animal planet, and you unlock these hot memories. That's right. So now my strength is max at 20. and my Constitution went up, so that's good. Also, so let's see, that gives me another extra attack.

So now I attack three times per turn. Let's see, what else did I do? And then I used my remaining experience to pick up another ability point in Constitution. And I used my last two experience points. to pick up the feet, dual wielder. So now I can hold the weapon in both hands and gain plus one bonus to a C when wielding separate melee

weapons at each hand. Shit. You can use two weapon fighting even when the one-handed melee weapons your wielding aren't light. And you can draw or stow two one-handed weapons when you would normally be able to draw or stow only one. I

mainly through remembering the bond I had with Loop and all the times that we had practiced together, I went up four wizard levels. Jesus. Basically, the dopest fucking wizard on earth. I have 20 intelligence. I'm just the best at casting spells,

and I know all of them, basically, pretty much, except for level 9, which I could learn, but I'm just not going to. Should I talk slower so everybody that's been complaining about us not playing D&D has time to nut? How's everyone enjoyed this great, compelling audio.

All right. And cool. I think at level 14, you unlock something called an arcane tradition feature. Yes, that is, yeah, got that for sure. And my transmutation stone got way doper too. Oh, that's right. I forgot you had that. Yeah.

That's what that was, by the arcane tradition feature was the transmutation shit that I learned. Transmutation stone, it can do a lot of crazy stuff now. All right. Well, if I'm at level 15, I now can destroy undead at a higher level. Okay. Up to level, up to three. Okay. Well, you will when God starts answering your calls.

If and when God starts answering me. Uh, cool. All right. So, immolation, I failed my role. What's it due? Uh, you're going to take 20 points of damage. Yipes. Of burning damage.

Uh, and then you are. going to, you're on fire, the hand's on fire. So, like, don't even. And at the end of each of its turns, it's going to repeat the saving throw. Okay, what happens if he doesn't? It takes three D6 fire damage. Jesus Christ, that's a good fire you made on this hand.

Yeah, I think it's a pretty good fire on that hand. Next up is the hand, which doesn't look great after that hit. Well, this hand is going to attack you, Taco, because you just set it on fire. And it is going to try to grab you, just, like, float over and just fucking, like, grab you in a clinched fist. Make a dexterity save. 19. Wow, Jesus. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. You very nimbly flip wizard your way out of its grasp, right, as it tries to crush you. And then it rolls a D20 to save. That is a 21, which is sufficient. That'll do it. The hand is doused. Next in the order is Merle.

Now, Merle, you can't cast spells, but you can still attack and do other things to sort of make yourself valuable here. All right. I forget which weapon you have, though, because you gave up, did you give up the wrench in Wonderland? Yeah, but I still have a little smusher, my warhammer. All right. So I guess with these limited options, I'm just going to whack the swordsman with my hammer. Okay. Go ahead and roll and attack roll.

15 plus that's a 20 then. Yeah, because you add five. Your proficiency minutes is five now. Okay. Yeah, that is a hit on the swordsman and roll a D8 plus, I think, five. Isn't it 2D8?

No. It shouldn't be. Okay. So you'd be a more powerful fire than me. Four and five, so that's nine. Okay. You, the swordsman tries to dodge out of the way, tries to like parry your attack as you swing this hammer in, but the weight of your hammer is a little bit too much for its scimitars to cushion. So it takes the hit in the side. Next in the order is Carrie and Killian. So this forearm skeleton grabs onto Killian and Carrie just like runs up its back and starts just sort of like bashing it in the skull with.

with the flat side of one of her daggers. Next in the order is Magnus. I am going to jump onto the back of the rhinoceros. Of course you are. Go ahead and roll, I guess, acrobatics. Sure, it's on athletics. I think it could be athletics. Yeah, sure.

Athletics describes sort of non-flip-based jumping. Then that's an 18. Nine plus nine. All right, you are up on top of the rhinoceros' back. I think if you want to actually try to, like, do something up here, I'm going to roll a strength contest. As this thing tries to fuck you off. Well, Griffin, I'm going to use my animal handling proficiency, which I've never actually used. Okay.

So it's a wisdom check to control the mount when you attempt a risky maneuver, which I would say that this is. Cheating it in the head. Okay. Yeah. So paint me a picture of, like, do you have, like, some sort of, like, belt, something you're fucking like throwing across this thing's neck to try to get some sort of steerability or are you like grabbing the horn or like tell me how i'm not grabbing the horn i'm not dumb okay i i maybe i'm like throwing my rope uh you know like under its belly to to hog tie myself to

you know to tie myself down all right you know it's all about knee pressure griffin sure really like a a great writer like myself like magnus doesn't need all that fancy tack and saddle stuff. Sure. All right. So is that it for your turn? Well, no. I'm, I've got to roll the wisdom check.

I've got to do a bunch of stuff. Do you not remember me saying I now have like 19 attacks on each turn? Sure, but I mean, jumping up there and getting control of this thing is technically in action. Correct. I'm tempted to just kind of like have that be your thing. And if you are successful in doing it, you're in charge of the rhino, but that's your turn. Okay. So we'll go ahead and roll animal handling.

So I also went back and did a lot of inventory management, and I have something called the Champions Belt. Okay. And the Champions Belt lets me substitute, once a day, substitute my strength modifier for wisdom or charisma modifier. So I'm going to do that here. All right. That's a 14 plus 5.19. Yeah, I think it's more interesting if this works. So, yeah, you managed to get a hold of this rhinoceros.

On its turn, I think it's going to have to spin an action to buck you off. And if it can do that, it'll knock you off, but that will be its action. Otherwise, I don't know, I guess we're going to do some mounted combat. Next to the swordsman who is going to keep fighting you, Merle. It takes one of its cimitars and swings it down at your neck. And he rolls a 17 versus AC. 18 17

Now my armor class is 18 right Okay You manage to Take that hit And it just sort of bounces off Of your armor And then it takes its other scimitar And swings that down at you

That is a 21 versus AC And one is going to hit And he hits you For 17 damage As he sort of Catches you across the stomach with its scimitar.

Next in the order is Davenport and Barry. I think Barry helps Davenport up off the ground, and right as this centaur is about to attack, Davenport uses his illusion magic and just flashes this bright flash right in his eyes and sort of dazes this centaur. Next up is the rhino. I think let's just do a strength contest.

I think that's the best way to see whether or not you stay on board. That's a 16. Okay, I got a 19 Okay, you are still on top of this rhinoceros I think it charges Um, it kind of rears up and sort of runs Uh, kind of close to where Noel is as she's like blocking the door still.

Um, but you sort of yank it back at the last second and now it's still just kind of running around the room. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Uh, next of the order is Angus, who, uh, points his wand at the hand, and Angus casts lightning bolt. And the hand just barely dodges out of the way as this crackling bolt of electricity shoots out of his wand. Oh, but he still takes half damage. He takes 12 points of damage as he gets caught by one of the forks of lightning coming off this bolt.

And the bolt keeps going and a corner of the room catches this bolt and some of the furniture back there is caught up in flames. We're back up to the top of the order. It's a nice fast fight, Taco. How close are they together? The hand and swordsmen are fairly close together. You and Merle are kind of side by side fighting these two things out. And Angus is by you too. Are they in a...

Okay. I'm going to cast wall of fire. Okay. In a straight line, I'm going to make a wall that's up to 60 feet long, but just enough to get all three of them in it is fine. And it's 20 feet high and one foot thick. Okay. So you're not going to make it 60 feet long, right? No, I'm going to make it as long as it needs to to get all of them.

That's why I was asking about the positioning. When the wall appears, each creature within its area must make a dexterity saving throw. Okay. I'll go ahead and do that. The sword's been crits and dashes forward out of the way of the spell. The hand got a three. The hand got a three. That's not good.

They had down low. Okay. Going to take 5D8 fire damage, huh? Yep. Hold on one second. I'm going to cook that up for you real quick. 16. Jesus.

All right. This hand's like. looking pretty bad. Too slow. Nice. Next in the order is the hand. Wait, did I get the other idiot? Oh, I guess

this on the rhino. I did not make it hit the rhino. Okay, good. Although I will make this rhino run. How long does the wall last? I guess it's concentration up to a minute so you can dispel it whenever you want. Actually, the next time you cast a spell, it'll go away.

So the hand, is going to take a long swipe at the three of you, Merle and Taco and Angus. So make a dexterity saving throw. Oof. Me too?

Yep. 18. 14. Merle and Taco, both of you just kind of like drop down really quick and get out of the way of this thing. Angus is not as fast.

Angus is just sort of slapped by this hand. and he goes flying backwards sort of into the pile of furniture that he bundled up in front of the door. And Angus takes, yikes, 19 points of damage. And you just kind of watch his little form just kind of go bouncing backwards into this pile of chairs and tables and stuff. Next in the order is Merle. Okay. I jump on the Vroom, broom.

Okay. I yell out hang tan I grab the swordsman by the hair And drop him on the rhino's horn Yeah So the rhinos like run around the room So I think you could just like drag him into the path of the rhino As you fly around

But this is going to be Yeah I think this is just an attack roll That you do to try to like grab him as you fly past So roll a D20 And add your strength 17 plus two. Jesus, these fucking rolls, guys. 19. Am I lying?

No, I mean, you got it. And now make a... You have it, right? You've got this swordsman, not by the hair, but just sort of by this weird cylindrical head thing that it's got at the top of its head, kind of in a headlock as you fly off with it. And then make a...

Let's say... dexterity? I guess dexterity, yeah, to try to like fly this fucking thing like into the path of this rhino without you getting hit yourself. All right. Yeah.

Two. It's a very good idea though. Here's what I'll give you. Isn't all I got to do is drop him? Yeah, but I mean you do have, this is a fuck, you got to think about this. Like you're trying to fly and release this thing into the way of a rhino without getting clobbered by yourself.

Here's what I'll do for you. I'll let this happen, but you're going to get hit by the rhino, too. I think you should have advantage because I'm steering the rhino. No, no, no, no, no. I'm giving that a tough choice right now. You can either do this and just miss completely or you can take the damage also. Oh, give me the damage. All right.

You just fucking fly this thing right into the path of a rhinoceros as it charges into you. Yowsers, Bowser's. Both of you take 22 points of damage. Should we exchange insurance information? or what's the... I never know. Wait, wait, wait, what, wait. Magnus isn't taking damage, is he?

No, no, this is mostly you flying into a fucking charging rhinoceros. So I think it's going to be you two. And you are knocked off of the Vroom, broom when this happens, and you are prone. Okay. Next in the order is... How's the swordsman looking? What's that? How's the swordsman looking?

Not great. The swordsman's also prone on the ground, kind of close to Lucretia's bubble. next in the order is Carrie and Killian and I think Killian grabs one of the skeletons four arms and just kind of like puts a shoulder into it and just snaps it clean off I yell across the room nice you yell that as it is your turn

you are now mounted on the back of a rhinoceros what do you want to do? That just ran over your buddy now Griffin I just want to clarify one thing the rhinoceros is evil right this isn't just like a regular rhinoceros who's really scared This is like an evil rhinoceros, right? No rhinoceroses were harmed in the making of this podcast.

This is a rhinoceros that is bent on destruction, and that is its only sort of motivation. What do you call it evil? In this moment, yes. That's good enough for me. I want to blind the rhino. Oh, boy. Oh! All right?

How are we doing this? Well, that seems safe. I don't know. I got lots of ways. weapons. Just pick one. Yeah, I'm going to poke it with the rabier, I guess. Boing, boink.

Oh, no, you know what? I'm going to poke it with my grandfather's knife. Poked its eyes. Oh, shit. All right. Make a, uh, just make an attack roll. That is 12. I don't know what to give grandpa's knife.

I don't know what the fucking stats on grandpa's old, shitty, not knife is. Unless this Ryan and Osir has very, very good eyes, I would assume any level of stuff. If it was anything like regular eyes, I was through any level of stabbing is incompatible with sight. And don't forget Tetanus. I mean, it's a long play. I roll the 12, and then I think it would be plus 9. Am I proficient with grandfather's pocket knife? I think you're proficient with grandpa's knife.

All right, so yeah, you managed to do this. Roll 1D6 damage, just straight up. It's a 1. All right. It takes 1. It'll say 2. One for each eye. But it is also blinded.

Okay, cool. Having seen the hand hurt my dear Ango, I steer the rhino towards it. Okay. The rhinoceros is just sort of enraged and charging right now. Here's how I think I want rhino-based combat to have. I think instead of rolling for the rhino to hit, I want you to contest it every time you make it do an action. then if you succeed in that, you will be successful in the attack. I got a 14 total.

I got an 8. Yeah. All right. Roll. Jesus. 2D10. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 9, 2, 11.

Taco, you were facing the hand when this happens. Before you figure it out, I'm going to action surge. And once I get it headed towards the hand, I'm going to jump off. All right. This is an acrobat. check and there's nothing you can say to convince me otherwise that jumping off of the back of a flaming of a rhino before you run through a wall of fire. There's literally something acrobats do. Well, Griffin, that's, uh, 18 plus 5, 23. These fucking rolls. Everybody's got these hot 18 dice.

And listen, before anybody says shit, all of my rolls have been 1,000% legitimate. All right. Everybody's got that fucking finale here. I'm using a, I'm using a new set of steampunk dice and they are rolling hot. Do you have a plus five to acrobatics? I do because of, He's got that rogue shit. No, I've got an item. I just can't remember which one it is. I think it's the rae. Oh, it's the feathered cuirass.

Yeah. Yeah, these great rolls are like my two, which has left me with nine points of health. Yeah. It's been great. Oh, I forgot you didn't really have a chance to heal up. Fuck. All right. Magnus, you like tuck and roll off the side of this rhinoceros that you've just blinded and aimed at the hand,

and you sort of roll to a stop like a foot away from the wall of fire. Taco, you were facing the hand, and all you see is through the wall of flame, this barreling rhinoceros who take... What's the damage on the firewall? That's 5D8. Jesus, roll that real quick. Oh, man, 25. Jesus, God. And Magnus says, hey, hand, you're too slow.

Well, he already did. I already did. Oh, you already did. Oh, sorry, Taco. I love it. That's good. You don't get another one. Oh, no.

I was going to say something about L if I know. Okay. Taco, you see a rhinoceros charging through the fire and flames. And I think what you see, since the hand was like right next to you, I think it was like about to rear back and just like open palm push right into you. But instead what you see is a huge horn just pierce right through the back of it as the rhino sort of charges right between you and Merle. And this hand, as it is sort of impaled on the rhino's horn, it sort of crows.

it sort of crumples up and wrinkles into a tight fist and then sort of disintegrates into black ash. Except for the middle finger, which is sticking straight up. Hey, Magnus, yeah? That was the coolest thing I've ever seen. Hands down. Ah! Nice, nice. Next in the order is the swordsman who is going to come after Taco.

He's prone. Oh, good point. Hmm. Thank you, Travis. All right, well, the swordsman is going to stand up, and since he's near you, Magnus, and you are prone, he is going to attack you with advantage. Okay. It's a crit fail, and 21 versus AC. What's a tie?

Oh, no, wait, here's an important question. The attacker wins the tie. How big is the swordsman? I mean, like, human size, whatever your... Then I get attacked. Yeah, that's just its first attack. Its second one, crits on the second one. Okay.

So for that first, I guess I'll just roll damage three times. I'm going to parry. Okay. Minus seven damage, whatever you end up doing. Okay. And it's 26 damage between the two attacks. Well, I'll tell you, here's the thing. Yeah.

My hit points are off to 131. So, like, ow, I guess, a solid bruise. But we're going to keep track of them. Gotta stress this. This is going to be sort of an endurance test. Is that bad day you're having? Is that 26 minus the 7? I subtracted the 7 and got 26.

Next in the order is Davenport and Barry. And I think by this point the Centaur has recovered from being gazed and tries to swing down in retribution on Davenport. And Barry's just a little bit too slow to do anything about the attack. But right before the battle axe is about to hit him, another bubble appears just for a moment. just for a moment around Davenport and deflects the attack. And then you see Lucretia inside of her bubble with her hand outstretched. She was distracted just for a moment from her work.

But after saving her friend and her captain, she gets right back into channeling that spell. Next up is the rhinoceros who heard you shout, that's the coolest thing I've ever seen hands down, Taco, and charges in your direction and tries to gore you. Worth it. That is another critical hit. That is two crits in a row. How's your health, Taco?

Tell me how many damage it is, I'll tell you. That is 19 points of damage. Okay. When it does that, Taco, you are also knocked back, 10 feet, and the Umbra staff goes flying out of your hand. Shit. Okay. You are disarred. armed. Next in the order is Angus, who stands up from the pile of rubble in the back of the room

and goes forward, and he pulls out his wand to cast a spell at the rhinoceros, but his wand has snapped in half. And so he looks down and sees the Umbra staff near his feet and grabs it. And he says, is this okay, sir? Fuck, fine. Go for it. And, and he casts a spell at the rhinoceros. He casts fireball. I think you... 20-foot radius. Yeah, yeah. You and the rhinoceros make a dexterity saving throw. The Vragno got a four. 16. Okay. You just say, yeah, go for it and dodge out of the way as Angus casts a fireball. And this is a spell taco that... I don't even know if you know that Angus, like, knows how to do.

but even if you did, it shouldn't be like this, because this fireball taco is fucking gigantic. And it hits the rhinoceros. Jesus. It hits the rhinoceros for 51 points of damage. Holy shit. And the rhinoceros is like charging at Angus as he yells like, is this okay, sir?

He started charging at Angus. and as this fireball hits it, it's like outer carapace is just like blackened. And it falls, it kind of like loses its footing as it's running and just kind of slides into the pile of furniture towards the door. And Noel kind of like rolls out of the way as this rhinoceros is downed. And Taco, Angus looks up at you and he's trembling. And he says, sir, I, that wasn't me.

I didn't I didn't cast that sir I'm not powerful enough to cast that I know He says no you don't you don't understand It's it I'm I'm That wasn't me that just cast that spell And he throws you the umbra staff back

Next in the order is Taco I snapped the umber staff over me That boy Yep Yep Yep It's like a bomb goes off in your hands.

There's a sonic boom, a wave of force that tears through the room. And Taco, you are just knocked horizontal through the air, flying backwards. And as you are thrown, we see time freeze. And then we see Loop. And she's lying down on the side of a grassy hill, watching the clouds pass slowly overhead. And in the distance, in the valley below, a furious battle is raging. And Loop knows it's just a matter of time before it's brought to an immediate end. And so she sits up and she just anxiously watches that conclusion.

As a pillar of flame from the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet consumes the final few living combatants of this battle, leaving a perfect circle of black glass burned into the ground. And she sighs and she starts trekking down the hillside to reclaim her creation, swearing that this would be the last time that it would ever be used. And then several days later, she's walking through the twisting corridors of Wave Echo Cave, and she's accompanied by a dwarf named Cyrus Rock Seeker, the chief of security for this mine, which has laid dormant due to constant attacks from neighboring marauders. Loop heard of a vault deep within this cave and contacted Cyrus to help hide the gauntlet away

in a place where it could be pursued but never obtained. But she underestimated the thrall of her. relic and what Cyrus would do to obtain it. And so as the vault door is swinging slowly open, loop feels the cold steel of a dagger slash across her back and feels two deft hands snatch the gauntlet from her possession. And she recovers and knocks Cyrus and the gauntlet into the vault with a powerful thunder wave and slams the door behind him. The deed was done, but immediately she understood the gravity of her wound. Cyrus's blade was coated in silver point poison. So she collapses, her back up against the wall, her umbra staff at her side. And it was

regrettable. If this truly was the last cycle, she had already burned her corporeal form. But that was the cost of undoing the damage she had done to this world. But as her litch form leaves her body, the true cost of what she'd done was revealed. See, her umbra staff, it consumes the power of defeated magic users. And Loup's lich form was pure arcane power. And so, So the Umbra staff immediately responds to her ghostly presence and inverts and swallows her whole. And when her senses returned to her, she found herself in a small chamber lined with rich black curtains. She wasn't afraid because she didn't know how to be. For years inside that place, she just fought for consciousness.

Her faculties returned to her one by one. She could see and then feel and then hear and eventually even extend those senses to the world outside, but she could find no escape from the umbrella. And so she waited with a patience she had no choice but to learn. And then, a decade later, she heard her brother and her dearest friends. She felt Merle's grasp on the handle of the umbrella, and no, that wouldn't do. Sorry, Merle, but she needed taco. And she screamed.

She tried desperately to signal you, but it took everything within her just to feel your presence outside. But now she had a goal. She would meditate for months, channeling energy into a single spell, something she could cast at the most opportune time to let you know she was okay, or taco just to save your hide. She felt your panic in the trial of initiation and leapt to your aid, and when your staff consumed the arcane core from Hurley's battlewagon, she felt awakened. She put on a fiery show of force just to remind herself how powerful she could be. She stored up energy for months to signal you, clear as day, burning her name in the wall, though she felt, guilty about the collateral damage of Angus's obliterated macarons. When she heard a voice outside discussing hunting down a litch, she perhaps overreacted,

though fortunately your quick reaction kept her from ruining your date with cravets. And she felt your pain in Wonderland. And she's seethed in that black-curtained place. And we can see her there now. She's just anxiously pacing, tearing at the walls, trying to find some way to break out to save you from this torment. But still, she can't find any relief. and then she hears a fight outside, and moments later, she has company.

The lich Edward drops into the chamber and scrambles to his knees, and he says, Who, who are you? What is this place? And Loup says, are you the one who's been hurting my brother out there? And Edward says, am I? Where are we? And Lube grits her teeth, and she says, I'm going to fucking kill you now. And from where Taco was thrown, we see a cloud of red smoke start to gather and encircle the tindrel in the center of the room. And you see fireworks, wild orange and yellow and pink flares combusting within that fiery mass, filling the tindrel with white-hot light.

And an explosion tears through the room, climbing that tindril up and up and up into the heavens. but you feel the heat and power of that explosion we've masterfully around you, leaving your party, and not the remaining enemies in the room, completely unharmed. And when the light fades, the column and the shadowy beings who climbed out of it are gone. And hovering where it once stood is loop, phantasmal and resplendent. Her outstretched palms still coated in flame. And as this litch turns towards you, Tako, you hear your sister's voice say, You're dating the grim reaper?

Hey everybody, this is Griffin McElroy, your dungeon master, your best friend, and your finale boy. That's a boy who did a finale. Thanks for listening to episode 67 of the Adventure Zone. It is the first part of the finale, a arc that I'm calling story and song. And this is the last one of this campaign. And then I'm going to say this probably 100 times throughout this arc, but when this is done, it's not the end of the podcast. It's just the end of this campaign as we tie it up and send it on its way. I'm very, very excited to finally be here.

I've been planning out some of these finale beats for a real, real long time. And, yeah, I hope you all like it. I hope it turns out well. I hope everybody's very fulfilled by it. Some other programming notes, I'm pretty sure we're going to end up doing another VVy Adventure Zone zone. After all, this is done with. and then we'll probably have a couple live shows that will go up to kind of like honestly give the rest of us a little break from the Adventure Zone and give us some I think well-earned rest.

And then we're just going to try some stuff out. Explore the space. Throw some spaghetti directly at you. And you're going to get the spaghetti just all over you. And it's going to be real fun. And yeah. So first I want to tell you about some sponsors before we get back to the rest of the episode. I have some Jumbotron messages here for you.

The first one is about a novel. It's called The Bone Grove. It's a fantasy novel by Monday Tiger, and it's available now on Amazon Kindles Marketplace. You can go to The Bonegrove.com for more information. Don't go to the Bone Groove. That's my special website of a new genre, sort of exploratory genre,

that I like to call sex jazz. But anyway, the Bone Grove, Here's a quick description. When a series of gruesome murders found to be the work of a vampire terrorized the small town of Tolena, an adventure named Nadi offers to stop the creature. The gleeful promise of a large reward is threatened by the realities of the dangerous investigation, but Nadia is offered assistance from Rinald, a professional but untested monster hunter. Tallina and the ancient forest that surrounds it have many mysteries,

but the secrets the two hunters keep from each other may prove the most dangerous. That sounds really cool. Again, it is the bone grove.com. Not the bone groove, but do check that out. I'm a very passionate musician. Here's another message. This one is for Sophie, and it's from Eileen, Forrest, Hannah, Holly, and Ruby, who all shout in a just deafening chorus.

Happy birthday! Thank you for being such a wonderful friend, sister, an incredibly thoughtful human being, for baking the tastiest of snacks, and for introducing us to so many awesome shows and podcasts over the years, including this one. We love you lots. So much so that our love is now immortalized in the voice of Griffin McElroy.

Yes. Etch it into the mountain side. Feel the power of my thume. God, this is a fucking nerdy show. Thank you for tweeting about the show using the Zonecast hashtag. That's actually kind of weird. Like, hey, this show's ending. Go listen to it now.

But I don't know. Maybe it's a really good time to tell your friends to go and start over. and then race to catch up before we can finish wrapping up this campaign. There's not going to be any more characters probably, and so I'm just asking you to do this out of the kindness of your heart and help us spread the word, because we do not pay to advertise the show really at all. Why did I say, really?

We don't pay to advertise the show at all, and so your word of mouth is the only way that we get new listeners, and y'all have been really, really amazing in that regard, and we just love y'all so much, and we're so appreciative of y'all, and, yeah. I think that's it. Yeah. I really hope you all enjoy the finale, and I really hope it turns out well. This is a really kind of genuinely scary thing, if I'm being honest, like we have been working towards these episodes for almost three years now, and we really, really want to make sure that we stick the landing, and I hope that you all enjoy it. The next episode, the second part of our story and song finale, is going to go up. up on July 27th. And so we will talk to you again.

Bye. Loops back. Yay. That was sick. It was really cool, though. I was going to say, the fireworks, the smoke, I was on board the whole time. Who! Well, I knew.

You could probably tell, but I knew the whole time. Yeah. I just didn't want to break your cool stuff because I knew you'd be mad. You can't see much like definition in this, in this litch form, because that's kind of how it works, but you can kind of tell that Loop is smiling at you, Taco, in there. And she says, yeah, I knew you'd figure it out eventually. Oh, no, I knew. I mean, I knew.

For sure, I knew. Like, from the very beginning? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right away. You always had that little glint in your eye. She said, well, why didn't you let me out sooner, Dingus? Well, I didn't remember you existed, goofus.

Barry walks over to her, and he's shaking. And he says, I, I knew I'd see you again. I want to, I'm going to, I'm going to blow myself up just so I can be a litch and hold you again. Hold on. And Loup says, don't, don't blow yourself up, babe. I'm sure your beautiful body's going to get killed by the hunger soon enough. And Barry says, Luke, when I was a litch, I knew, I knew you were gone. And it was more than I could bear.

alive. I didn't know you'd ever existed, which was more than I can bear. I didn't. I didn't. And Loub says, babe, I, I love you more than life and undeth itself. But let's get somewhere safe first so we can really savor this Tinder reunion. Yeah, I mean, that is an excellent point. The hunger still, still an ish. Lucretia says, Luke, I, I looked for so long. I'm so sorry. And Luke says, oh no no sweat i was inside an umbrella i can't fall to for not looking in there now lucretia i need you to please stop conjuring up that barrier all right because it's going to be the end of the world if you put that thing up and lucretia says loop i'm i'm so happy you're back but i can't there's nothing you can say that's going to make me stop this i'm going to save us all i promise

and with that, Lucretia's bubble goes completely opaque, and then it flashes, and then suddenly Lucretia's gone. And Davenport says, okay, gang, listen up. I know I've been running at sort of a limited capacity for a while, but I'm... You've been basically a human steady rock spin, but go on. He says, listen, I'm still your captain, and if you listen to me, I swear to you, I can get us out of this. Yeah, go for it. I'm all ears. We're listening. Davenport says, he starts issuing commands to just everybody in the room.

He says, Noel, Carrie, Killian, you're in charge of securing the Bureau headquarters. We lose this base, and we lose it all. Can you do that? And Team Sweet flips all look at each other, and they grin, and Killian says, leave it to us. and he says Angus, you're with me. You're going to help me sleuth out where Lucretia's hiding out. Maybe I can still talk her out of this. Take the Void Fish Baby with you.

He says, well, hold on on that. He says, Luke, Barry, you two have got to find the Star Blaster. If we can find that ship, at least we'll have some options, okay? And Luke says, you got it. And Luke floats over to Angus as she's like moving out to follow out these commands. And she says, sorry about the cookies, little dude. I'm sure they were delicious. And Angus is just kind of like awestruck and doesn't really know what to say.

And Davenport calls the three of you over and he says, Magnus Taco Merle, come with me for a minute. Okay. Sure, Dav. And Davenport walks you briskly back down the hallway to Lucretia's private quarter. where the baby Floydfish still floats in its little tank. And Davenport kind of clumsily picks up that little tank and hands it to you, Magnus. And he says, boys, there's no easy way to say this.

You got to find some way to disable this little guy and Fisher's memory altering field. And if you can't, you have to terminate them. He says, listen, Magnus, please, let me finish. No, no. Then find a way to do it. The world's under attack, and right now, nobody out there can see what's attacking them. Every second that these two are alive and making the world forget is a second where people, thousands of people are dying at the hands of an enemy they can't see.

Totally, 100%. But I made a promise to Fisher that I was going to get this baby back to him, and I'm going to do that, and nothing you can say is going to change that. He's just kind of looking sternly now at you, Taco and Merle. What if we put it somewhere else? Would that cancel it? He says its field reaches all across reality. I don't think there's any way to hide it.

Listen, tear, take the voidfish, go to Fisher, and maybe you can talk to him. I don't know, but it's not, there's so much devastation happening right now, and it's only fair that we give this world a fighting chance, okay? Got it. Hocky-dok. And with that, Angus and Davenport peel off to start turning over Lucretia's office looking for clues to her whereabouts, while the rest of you clear away the barricade in front of the door to move back outside of this main dome. Before you make your way outside, Barry says, oh, that reminds me. I think if we're going to do this thing, we may as well make sure we've got every advantage that we could possibly get.

And he pulls out a wand and draws a horizontal line through the air. and then that line folds up to a square, and then that square unfolds into a cube and takes the form of a chest. And that chest falls to the ground with a clunk, and he kicks the side of it, and it pops open. And inside you see some familiar instruments. You see the weapons and armor that you made at the arcaneum. Taka, you see the Krebs star inside, and Merle, you see Gilly, your magic stick. And Magnus, you see the fucking tooth necklace, the fucking... And bareface.

And all of the other instruments that you all made while you were there, which you pull out of the chest and equip yourself with. And it's relatively quiet outside. It actually looks like Loops' explosion wiped out most of the shadows from out here. But immediately, Killian and Carrie and Noel flip into action to clear out the rest of of the few wounded stragglers. And now that you're outside and you're fully inoculated, you can see the devastation that the hunger has visited upon this world.

Dozens of those tendrils are stabbed down from the heavens into the landscape, miles off in every direction. And from each you see hordes of shadowy beings marching out towards the larger cities and settlements of this world. And in the distance you see never winter, and the financial district is just a blaze. and across a mountain range, you see the mechanical guts of Rockport have come to a standstill, and there's a plume of black smoke pouring from the heart of the city.

And as you're surveying these horrible scenes, you hear Barry say, Oh, my God. And he points out into the distance and looks over his shoulder towards the rest of you, and he says, Courts in session. And miles away to the north, the south, the east and the west you see them, the four judges, towering 20 stories tall, emerging from the hunger's tendrils. And their already featureless forms are now comprised of that black

shimmering material, and they're marching ever so slowly towards your location. Oh, shit. But Loop is the only one not staring at the judges. She's looking straight down, right off the edge of the bureau, at the ground far below, and she's smiling. Loop. What? Loop. She beckons you over, Taco. Okay, I go over to her.

When you look downward off the bureau to see what she's smiling at, you see a perfect circle of black glass, the remains of the town of Fandolin. And she says, I've got a cutting plan. She says, Barry, Taco, I think I know how we can get some reinforcement. and turn this whole thing around. Do you trust me? Of course. Barry nods. She says,

Merle, Magnus, keep going after Fisher. Barry, Taco, you're with me. And she floats backwards and plummets off the side of the bureau, diving towards Fandelion below. And Barry says, you heard the lady, and takes a running jump off the side of the bureau, catching himself with a levitation spell as he descends. Uh, hey guys, I don't know what's fucking going on, honestly, but we've got a plan, I guess.

So, hold it down. Cool. Magnus, keep hitting stuff, Merle, don't beef it, I guess. Yeah, well, the best I got for you. I'll just die. If I see Pan, I'll tell him to hit you up. Shit, yeah, you'll probably see him before I do. You are jumping off the side of a base.

No, it's fine. I've got magic powers. And then I jump off and gas levitate on myself. I turned to Merle Was that supposed to be a big reveal? Like we No, I think he was slamming me. Oh, okay.

I thought like he was just telling us he's a wizard for the first time. It works both ways. Shut up! Taco and Barry and Loop descend out of sight. And Merle and Magnus, you finished trekking across the campus of the bureau and make your way to the elevator don't leading down to the void fish's chambers.

And you're relieved to find that the elevator's still working. The cars, you see the doors slide open and the elevator car's fluorescent lighting is flickering a bit, but the elevator seems fully operational. From inside, you hear that soothing music being pushed out of the elevator's tinny speakers beckoning you to climb aboard. D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D. I get on board. Let's go.

Yeah, I'll bleed my way over there. You get on the elevator and the doors close and you begin your long descent. And about halfway down the span of the trip downward, those flickering... You fart. And right as you do that, as if Destiny has been waiting for this one perfect suit, the flickering of those lights starts to grow more erratic. And then that soft jazz music is growing more and more distorted. And finally, that music cuts out completely.

And the lights black out for two seconds. And you, both of you feel like a presence in this elevator with you. And then when the lights come back on, Magnus, you don't see Merle anymore. He's just gone. And Merle, you don't see Magnus. either, and you also don't see the elevator. What you see is a small round table made of smooth black marble and two high-backed chairs positioned on either side of it. And you don't seem to be standing in any kind of discernible room. Rather, in every direction there are just rippling walls

of the same black opal material that makes up the hunger. And sitting on that marble table is a chess set. And suddenly, there's just... John. And he's different. When you had Parley with him in the past, he was essentially a regular human man, but now he's torn and cracked with rifts of black opal tearing down his face and body, and you can feel a faint heat coming off of him. And he pulls out the chair on his side of the table, and he says, hi, Merle, you got a minute? Magnus, the elevator has reached. the floor that the void fish's layer is on, and the long hallway leading down to its chamber is quiet and unoccupied. The lights are flickering in here, too. The door at the end of the hallway

is half open, nearly smashed down, and through the crack in the door, you can see the faint glow of fissure and the bodies of a few of those shadowy creatures lying motionless on the ground. And there's a pool of standing water kind of pouring out into the hallway from the tank that you smashed and it's it's just trickling slowly through the door i i i well i go in and as i do i'm drawing the flaming raging poisoning sort of doom okay you prepare for battle uh holding i'm assuming the baby void fish in your other um arm dual wielding oh picture i'm like peeking over my shoulder like he's sitting on my shoulder like a like a cute parrot okay this is like lone wolf and cub it's uh you've taken it out of the tank then it's just like chilling on you yeah okay

You've got a jellyfish on you. As you make your way into that room, you realize that you took out a bunch of the shadows in this room when you were still in your mannequin form. And you actually, I guess you see your mannequin form lying on the ground sort of in this pile of like half ash downed enemies. And while you took down a lot of them, Fisher managed to take out the rest after you went down. but fissures injured and it it doesn't look good several of his tindrals are severed on the ground some of them are coiled around the throats of those down shadows there are a few large cuts going up its body and it's breathing um if that is actually like what it's doing um its breathing seems labored um and it has one of its tendrils on johan's body which is motionless and face down in the water. And as you enter the room, it hums weakly. And the baby void fish responds with a brighter, far more energetic hum from your shoulder

and starts to float towards it, but then it looks kind of scared and like kind of hangs back a little bit. No, it's okay. I walk over there with it, holding one tendril, holding its hand, I walk over to Fisher with it. You walk the baby void fish over to Fisher and, I think Fisher, it doesn't have this, like, it doesn't have the energy to have this, like, exuberant response to seeing its child again, but it lifts one of its tendrils up and wraps it around the baby void fish and sort of nestles it up against its body. And when it does that, the baby void fish, it seems like it's not scared anymore. It's, it's humming its song. Um, yeah, what do you do?

Fisher, buddy, I told you I'd bring it back. It hums at you. I'm so sorry I forgot you, buddy. I'm so sorry. It lifts up one of its tendrils and puts it on your shoulder. I lean my head in so that my forehead's pushing against it and I start humming. The colors inside of it float a little bit, as if, just like hearing a little song is sort of improving its mood a little bit. But it's, I mean, it's, it looks bad still.

What do you, what do you do? Fisher, you tell me what you need, okay? And I'll do anything. Anything and I'll do it, okay? Fisher takes the tendril that it has on Johann's body and, like, nudges it. And in that moment, you don't know, like, you don't know if Fisher knows that Johann is gone. but it's like it's like fisher's trying to signal to you like what it what it needs is is is what joan did for it for so so many years um and i think the baby void fish like sees this

response and uncoils itself from its its parents grasp and you see it sort of frantically start like darting around the room um like it senses something in the room and it's moving over towards a back corner of the room where you see Johan's desk. Like go over to Johan's desk. There's a parchment of sheet music. And I think like from your time at the conservatory, like you you understand like sheet music and you kind of glance it over and kind of recognize it as this seven-note song is like the running melody of this. of this composition, this EG-G-B-A-B-E, this egg-babe music that, like, helped you realize that

there was a second void fish, and you recognize this melody on this sheet music. And the ink is still wet. It looks like Johan finished this today before he perished. And the title of this song is March of the Forgotten. And the baby Void Fish is just like motioning towards this sheet music, just pointing it at it, pointing at it, pointing at it, and like grabbing, I think it coils a few of its tindrals around your wrist and like pulls you towards this sheet music. Junior, I get it, all right? I pick up the sheet music and I start walking towards Fisher. I think Fisher response to this composition just coming close to it and you see some of those lights inside start to ignite as you're walking towards him. Hold on one second, Fish, one second.

And I kneel beside Johan and I say, I will remember this. And I will make sure everyone else does what you have done and what you have given will not be forgotten. And I feed the music to the fish. Fisher weakly grasps the scroll and raises it up into its body. And for a moment, time stands still. And then you see something start to happen, something that hasn't happened in decades. And thinking back, you only ever saw this happen from afar, back at the conservatory, when a work was accepted and broadcasted to everyone across reality by the fish inside that cave.

The lights inside of Fisher's bell begin swirling again, and then it spreads throughout his entire form. This bright blue light surrounds his tendrils and starts coursing out of his body entirely. Not like a light flashing from a beacon, but like ink through water. And he's floating off the ground now, and his tendrils are slowly swirling around him.

And he looks vital. And the baby voidfish, seeing this, it starts to change too. Its entire body is surrounded in bright green light, which starts to disperse off its body and fill the room to the point where you can no longer see these two fish or anything. And then we see the blue stream of light followed by the green emerging from the bureau's headquarters, spreading ever outwards to the world and worlds outside. When people talk about that day, they call it different things.

But for this moment, when every living person across the whole of reality, simultaneously received the Void Fish's gifts. For this moment, and the moments that followed, moments of heroism and sacrifice and luck, these moments are why we call this day the day of story and song. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

Listener supported. Hello, Amita Patel. Hello, Sean David Johnson. What's going on? I think a friend of mine may have chronic pop culture deficiency syndrome. Oh no, PCDS. What are the symptoms? Well, she doesn't know Wakanda from Westeros.

Shameful. And she keeps confusing Aziz Ansari and Riz Ahmed. Oh my gosh, so sad. Kind of racist, too. But what did you tell her to do? I told her to listen to our podcast, Inside Pop, of course. Fantastic idea. A weekly dose of Inside Pop will help

anyone discover the best in TV, film, and music. Suffer from PCDS, no more. Inside Pop has you covered every Wednesday on Max Fun. How many times has this happened to you? Oh man, if only I knew whether it was better to be too hot or too cold or who the best James Bond was, that girl would have gone out with me. Now you can with We Got This with Mark and Howl, the podcast from Maximumfund.org every Tuesday. Hey, Lois, it's Joey.

The best James Bond was Daniel Craig, and it's better to be too cold than too hot. Thanks, we got this with Mark and Howl. Only on Maximum Fun.org. or wherever you get fine podcasts.