The Adventure Zone - Ep. 68. Story and Song - Finale, Part Two

Episode Date: August 1, 2017

Two lights shine down from the sky. Their story passes through reality. His song fills their hearts. The world fights back. Music: "Voidfish (Plural) by Rachel Rose Mitchell - https://rachelrosemitchell.bandcamp.com/ Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously on the Adventure Zone. So yeah, Magnus, actually, the Royal Bear does want to spend some time with you. He is, like, taking a particular fondness with you, and I think you spend a few months training with it. The moment you eat this meal, a bond is created. Imagine a long thread with one end tied around you and another tied around a person or a moment. And you feel it now because there's so much power in it, Taco.

Your magic comes from Pan, and Pan's gone. Pan's not with you. Pan's not connected to you. anymore so the source for your magic that you tap is now gone and until further notice Merle is completely disconnected from his divine source. Now Lucretia, I need you to please stop conjuring up that barrier, all right, because it's going to be the end of the world. I can't, there's nothing you can say that's going to make me stop this. I'm going to save us all. I promise. Lucretia's bubble goes completely opaque and then suddenly Lucretia's gone and miles away to the north,

The south, the east, and the west you see them. The four judges, towering 20 stories tall. I think I know how we can get some reinforcements and turn this whole thing around. And she floats backwards and plummets off the side of the bureau, diving towards Fandelion below. I've got magic powers. And then I jump off and gas levitate on myself. Was that supposed to be a big reveal?

And you don't seem to be standing in any kind of discernible room. Rather, in every direction there are just, rippling walls of the same black opal material that makes up the hunger. And suddenly, there's John. But now he's torn and cracked. He pulls out the chair on his side of the table and he says, Hi, Merle. Got a minute?

The lights inside of Fisher's bell begin swirling. This bright blue light surrounds his tendrils and starts coursing out of his body entirely. And the baby voidfish seeing this, it starts to change too. its entire body is surrounded in bright green light. And then we see the blue stream of light followed by the green, emerging from the bureau's headquarters, spreading ever outwards to the world and worlds outside. Did you see them?

Did you see the lights above? It's time to play your part in the Adventure Zone. We see Neverwinter besieged and burning. The citizens of this, the largest city in the world, take shelter in homes, shops, and taverns as an enemy they cannot see tears their town apart. Flames roar unchecked through the financial district. We see Lord Artemis Sterling still exhausted from his trip through Wonderland in his estate overlooking the hole of Neverwinter. Several advisors are barking panicked commands to their young leader. Sterling grits his teeth in his own.

disbelief of the day he's having. We see Neverwinter's Blue Lake District, home to Chaos Stadium, where Battlefest competitors come to spar for fame and riches. But today, Chaos Stadium is a makeshift fortress against the apocalypse. A match had just ended when the hunger arrived, and now fighter and spectator alike are trapped inside the stadium lobby, where they work frantically to board up the doors and windows inside. Clark is there, still in his moonbeam outfit, and he's with his entire bugbear family who he reconnected with after your last encounter. This was their first time in Neverwinter.

Clark was nervous about their first visit. None of them expected this. Graham, the juicy wizard, is there. He's wearing a recently purchased t-shirt promoting his friend and favorite fighter, Jess the beheader. And Jess is there, too, leading the civilians and barricading the front door, which is rattling furiously as the shadows outside pound against it. And though it's loud outside, it's quiet in here. Nobody's yelling or crying. It's almost as if everyone thinks they could simply hide from the apocalypse. But the silence is broken with a chorus of gasps as a stream of green light and then a stream of blue passes through the room. As the green light passes through them, their minds are instantly filled with an impossible story. It's a story about seven travelers who leave their home

and fight bravely for a century against the darkness, against the same menace that is attacking them now. It's a story about the hardships those seven faced those 100 years, about the deaths they bravely endured as they worked to understand their foe. They know everything that Lucretia wrote in her journal, the journal the younger Voidfish consumed and is now broadcasted. to the world. Those words, her words, are passing through them now. And through the cracks in the walls, they realize they can finally see the forces assaulting their city. And for a moment, they're afraid. And then the blue light touches them. And they all hear a song. And the fear is gone. The people in the room look at one another wordlessly, as if to ask, did you hear, did we all just

here, and then there's a pound and another pound at the door, and their eyes turn as one to the battle waiting for them outside. And they look at one another again. No words, just an acknowledgement. It's time to stop hiding. They move with purpose now and courage and conviction, as every single person in this room gathers chairs, torches, broken bottles, and any other makeshift weapons they can get their hands on. In seconds, they arrange themselves into fighting units with tactical precision. The bug bears step to the front of the pack. Just nods at Graham.

Graham smiles and grips his staff. And the doors smash apart. And the world starts fighting back. Magnus, you're in the voidfish's chambers. Only the voidfish are both gone. They filled this chamber with that light that passed through the walls and dispersed through reality.

And though you never saw that phenomenon firsthand back at the conservatory, this feeling is familiar. You know that the world knows now, knows everything that was in Lucretia's journals. And you're shaken from that realization by a loud rumble back up on the surface of the moon base. Wait, are Fisher and Jr. okay? They're just gone. After sort of spreading their messages throughout the world, they are not here anymore. Are they okay? Maybe we'll find out later in the finale.

There's a loud rumble back on the surface of the base, and you hear, even though you are sort of deep inside the base, you can hear the sound of a battle happening back upstairs. Okay, I use my teleportation magic to get back up there. You use the elevator, did you say? because the Skype call broke up. Yes. All right, you hop back up in the elevator. And as this battle is raging, like the walls of the elevator car are shaking a bit,

making that light and music flicker a little bit, but it reaches back up to the top of the base, and you come out of this dome. And you see Carrie, Killian, and Noel putting the finishing touches on a handful of shadows. And they're making short work of them. They're just executing these practiced trio attacks flawlessly. And after finishing them off, Carrie runs up to you, Magnus, and says, What's up, Space Man?

Nothing much, Lizard. I'm still working out the details of what I just sort of experienced, but I can't believe I've been buddies with an alien this whole time. Maybe you're the alien and I'm the regular person. No, that's not how it went. It's hard to say. Did you see the void fish, one big, one little come by here? No, I didn't see anything. I just sort of hurt him.

Okay. Well, keep an eye out. You see them. Let me know. I think they're going to pop back up in the finale. Magnus, something falls from the sky. I catch it. You don't.

Oh. Because it's pretty big. I'm very strong. No. It lands in the center of the grassy quad up here. on the surface and just sort of smack dab in the middle of all these domes in the bureau headquarters. It's a sphere, and it's made of the same shimmering black material that the rest of the hunger's made out of. It's about 10 feet in diameter, which is why you couldn't catch it.

And it's now floating in the air. And three figures spring forth from the sphere, and you recognize them quickly. there's the shape of an enormous owl, a wolf, and a bear. It's the royal beasts from all the way back in the animal planet. Only they're different now. Their forms are entirely comprised of that black material, but they're still twice your size, and they are moving towards you with ferocity. And the owl spreads its wings and dives towards Team Sweet Flips,

who narrowly avoid being torn apart by the owl's sharp talons. and then the owl rears back and soars upwards and Carrie Killian and Noel prepare themselves to engage this airborne foe. The wolf, the wolf looks at you, Magnus, and then grins and then turns invisible. And that leaves just the power bear who is staring you down, Magnus,

and just panting and raking its razor-sharp claws against the ground. What do you do? Is this one of those circumstances where there's a really clever answer? Or is it like, Fight that bear. I don't think there's a clever answer here.

I think you're going to end up fighting the bear. Fight the bear. I think I'm going to fight that bear. Roll and attack, roll. Well, okay. It's weird because normally you would make me do initiative, and so now I'm scared. I don't think I'm going to make you guys do initiative this episode. Well, that's not great.

What did you get? 14 total. Okay, what we see is, and what were you attacking with? Uh, chance lance. All right, you charge forward with the lance held out in front of you as the bear sort of drops to all fours and charges at you. And both of you sort of jump up in the air to strike the other one. And as your attacks hit, the scene changes. And we see a wooden open air pavilion where you are training, Magnus, as a quiet rainstorm drizzles outside.

and standing across from you is the royal bear who despite the fact that it's your first day of training with him, he looks exasperated already. Also sitting in this space just barely under the roof's coverage from the storm is a chimpanzee who is leaning lazily up against one of these four tall logs that are sort of holding the roof up in this pavilion. And you are back in a flashback in the animal kingdom. the first cycle you came to after leaving your home world on the Star Blaster. And this bear growls at you in a language that you only just learned and says, Before we get started, I'm going to warn you. I have no intention of easing up on you. Right back at you, big guy.

He sighs. And he says, if at any point you require aid, just shout for chimpanzee. Got it? Like a safe word? Or? The chimpanzee laughs at that from the corner And the bear size again Our safe word is chimpanzee

And the chimpanzee kind of winks at you I wink back The bear says All right, let's start here You said you wanted to get stronger, right? Yes What do you think strength is, Magnus? I stare at him for a second

And I just flex They both laugh at that They both laugh at your flexing. And he says, you think that being physically more powerful is his strength. Is that what you think, man? No, literally, I think flexing is strength. He shakes his head and he looks even more exasperated than before. And then he charges at you.

And like, in an instant, you are just like, your ass is on the ground. And you also got the, you got the sensation that, like, he was still. holding back in a way. And he says, physical power is nothing, Magnus. I'm more powerful than you. The rhino is more powerful than me. The whale's more powerful than the rhino. The ocean's more powerful than the whale.

There's always something more powerful than you, Magnus. That is incorrect. And then back in the present, we see you try to run your spear through the bear. and it just dodges completely out of the way and rakes both claws against your back and sort of slams you to the ground and you take 16 points of damage. Oh, boisey.

Let's move over to Taco. Yeah. Taco, as you hover slowly to the ground, you see Loop and Barry already down there and loops at the edge of the circle of black glass where Fandolin once stood. And she's gingerly inspecting the surface. of the glass with her spectral hands.

She's actually laying down with her head, like laying sideways on the circle, inspecting it close up. And as you land, she floats over to you, and she says, okay, here's my idea. You ready for this? It's a banger.

It's a banger. Drop it. She leans down and tries to grab a clump of grass up out of the ground, but her hand phases right through it. And she sighs and says, Okay, I forgot. Listen.

If you focus enough, Patrick Swayze could flip a pop can you try focusing harder? She says that movie is just full of a lot of misinformation about sort of ghastly activity. Anyway, do you see how everything sort of starts to lose its color a bit when the hunger shows up? And you have seen this like a hundred times. Like the hunger shows up and the grass gets less green and the sky gets less blue and things start to fade a little bit. She says, do you know why? that is?

Dramatic effect? No, well, yes, but it's because the hunger cuts us off from the rest of the planer system. That's how it always wins. It divides the planes up and it weakens its prey and then

overpowers the prime material plane just gobbles it up. Yum. Delicious. Yeah, I got that. She says, so my idea is and she motions over to the circle of black glass and she says,

you're going to open a door, Taco. Okay. To what from where? She says, remember, remember what that nerd lord said? Back, the one whose lab we were in last year, he was using the Philosopher's Stone to transmute circles of matter into different gemstones which resonated with the other planes. And if we can do that to a circle this big, we can poke a hole in the barrier the hunger put up

and get some fucking otherworldly reinforcements. So turn the black and glass into a portal sort of? Yes, exactly. Now, sure, we don't have the philosopher's stone, but luckily for us, we do have the most talented transmutation wizard who ever lived. Oh, please, you're too kind. She says, I'm talking about me, Taco. Okay, I thought you were more...

No, I'm Josh. I'm talking about you. That's fine. It was nice. It was half a nice moment. I half appreciate your efforts. She says, so do your thing. Do your stuff. Transmute that shit. Okay. If you have any questions, I know it's been over like a year and a half since we did the Crystal Kingdom. But it basically what what Lucas was doing was transmuting like circles of stuff into gemstones. Specific gemstones would correspond with the different planes. And so Loop is asking you to do that.

And so I can run you through the planes or you can tell me which one you want to like open up a door to. Loop chimes in and says, really, it doesn't matter where you open up the portal to. I'm pretty sure that once you break the seal, the whole barrier between all the planes is going to come down. But, you know, wherever it opens up to, we'll get some immediate help from. So you should choose carefully. Um, no, I'm, I'm pretty sure where I want to open the, the portal to. Just out of curiosity, where you open it up to. Oh, the astral plane.

Uh, and Loub says, hell yeah, get down on some dead men of Dunhero shit. Sounds good, bro. Rip it. Do I have to transmute the glass itself? Yeah, that's how it works. Shit, into like a gemstone, right? Um, yeah. You actually remember the window that Lucas opened up, the one that, like, Legion climbed out of at the end, was a sapphire window. You remember that taco because of how good your memory is. So I'm trying to look for a specific spell that...

I don't think you need to do that. I think, like, I think you can just roll arcana and we'll call it that. Yeah, because I don't think there is a spell that is transmute. And this is, when you transmute things, Taco, it's like a block of wood or a table that you turn into meat. Like, you've never, this is a, I'm pretty sure like a half mile wide circle of glass. This is a big fucking ask. And so I'm not sure your traditional magic will cover it. So I think just an arcana role would be sufficient.

Okay. Everybody step back. And I don't mean that in like the cool way people mean that. I mean like literally step back because. I don't fucking know. They do. They, well, loop floats backwards, but they both give you some space. 24.

All right. Taco, you placed your palms on the cool, smooth surface of the glass where Fandolin once stood, and you start to transmute it. And as you do, a wave of energy travels across the circle, like ripples on water. And the glass starts to change. And it feels like it's draining every ounce of. magical energy out of you as it goes, and it extends 30, 40, 50, 100 feet. And then the ripple slows, and it stops spreading, and you feel yourself just empty.

And the transmutation reverts, and you're left kneeling in front of the same black circle of glass, which is left unaltered. Should a roll at 25. With a roll that good, I'm not going to... I had a system for taking spell slots, but I'm not going to do that with a roll that dope. And Barry and Loop look over at the circle, and Barry looks kind of disappointed,

and Luke says, I... I don't know what to tell you, Taco. You've got a... And she's cut off as a tindral, and then another, and then a third come crashing down from the heavens, landing several hundred feet away, and immediately hordes of shadows start pouring out of them, racing toward the three of you.

And Barry draws his wand, and Loop starts preparing a spell. And Barry says, Luke, that's a lot of dudes. And Loop says, Taco, Barry and I got this. You've got to keep trying, babe. I know you can do this. I'll give it my best shot. And then she and Barry turn back towards the encroaching horde and start firing volleys of fireballs and arcane bolts in their direction.

And Loop yells, you can do it, Taco, do it! I try again. Okay. 17. The same thing happens. You put your hands down on the glass. And this time actually, and this is probably like, this is probably really frustrating. Like the circle of Sapphire doesn't even extend out as far as it did last time.

It makes it about half as far, about 50 feet away from you. And then it reverts and it's pulled back into you. And you feel like you just ran a marathon. You feel so drained. And from behind you, you hear Barry's shout as one of the shadows gets the better of him, raking a claw across his chest. And he stumbles backwards, still firing missiles into the crowd. And Loop drops back from her position to give him coverage, but they're quickly overrun.

And suddenly, there's a shape overhead. And it's blotting out what little light the sky above is still emitting. and all you can see is just this enormous circular silhouette. And then there's a small flash of light from the center of that circle and a whistling that sounds like a bomb falling, and then a crash, and then you see it where it landed and where it crushed several shadows beneath its mass. It's upsy, your lifting, friend.

And the battle is still for a moment as these shadows turn to face this strange and demeanor. minted monster and suddenly large menacing arms and legs sprout out from Upsi who grabs a shadow and just tears it in half directly in front of its elevator doors. And those doors part revealing Lucas, who's riding inside of Upsi in a makeshift mech cockpit. My dude! And it's only been half a year since you last saw Lucas, but he looks older. He's got a surprisingly impressive beard now.

And he smiles and he waves. And as he does, Upsi waves. and then Upsi just starts ferociously tearing into these shadows. And Lupin-Berry take that moment of distraction to free themselves and start fighting. And suddenly the three of them are just fighting back to back-to-back, providing you with another chance to try and transmute the circle once again. And when you turn to the circle, you feel something small drop and bounce off your foot. I checked the pouch, the pouch that was locked.

You reach into your bag and retreat. the bag of necessity that Istis gave you so long ago. And when you look down at the ground, you see, indeed, there is a golden, a small golden padlock, the shackle of which has popped open on the ground. And you retrieve the bag of necessity, and it is open. Well, I put my hand in it, I guess. You're killed. No.

And that's going to do it for the adventure zone. We hope you've enjoyed this rich tapestry. we've woven. Sorry, I boned it there at the end. You reach in. Any guesses? I could guess, but I just look like an idiot. You reach in and retrieve the only item inside.

It is a small, old, compact mirror with an ornate silver design on the outside. And as you pop it open, you see an emerald mirror within. It's the same compact. I don't even know if you ever saw this. that I think Magnus retrieved from Lucas's lab that showed him another world, our world. And sure enough, as you look into that emerald mirror, you also see a scene from another world. And you're inside of a small metal compartment that upon further inspection doesn't look too dissimilar from the stagecoach that you used to use when you are a traveling chef. There's a small refrigerator and a stove and a sink and a shelf lined with various cooking

implements and serving trays. And there's a long service counter with a cash register. And there's also a laptop open on that counter, not that you've ever seen a laptop, a taco. And there's a colorful looking game open on that laptop that you don't really understand, but that we, the audience, would recognize is just Overwatch. And there's a metal door at the far end of this truck that's padlocked shut, and you can hear something behind it just pounding away, rocking the truck with each attack.

And there's a large window in front of that counter that is, covered with a heavy metal shutter. And there's a young man who is looking out of that shutter. It's a human that you'd estimate to be like maybe 18. He's got braces and he's wearing an apron. And he is panicked as he surveys the scene outside. Through the gaps in that shutter, you can see a city street that's just swarmed with shadows.

There's fire coming off an overturned car several dozen feet away. And behind that, you can make out what this kid is staring at. There's a horde of shadows that are just pounding away at the large double doors of a nearby high school. What do you do? Can he hear me? You don't know. Hey, hey, hey, kid. The young man falls down from where he's looking at the shutter.

His knees just buckle as he's startled, and he shuffles backwards away from where you're looking into this scene, and he's just screaming. I know, I know. Listen, um, uh, okay. Um, he says, what are you, what are you doing in my frying pan? Uh, okay. Um, I'm in your frying pan. Okay. That's where, okay. Wow. Genji Maine, huh? Wow. Oof. Okay. Um, as, as he says that, you realize that sure enough, your perspective in the scene is from a rack of pots and pans that is hanging on the wall of this truck. Um, he says, how are you doing? What, what's going on? I don't know why you can help me. But I'm trying to. to fix what's happening. My name, my name is Taco and I'm a wizard. God, I know that sounds stupid to you, huh? I'm a wizard. My name is Taco and I am pretty well fucked right now. I am trying

to do something that honestly I can't do and I don't know how you can help me, but there is some way in which I am fairly certain you can because a goddess told me so. I know. It's a lot to take in. He stands up and he says, wait a minute, I know who you are. He says, you're, you're Taco from TV? I heard your story. He says, I'm Joaquin. I'm, I'm not even supposed to be here today, Taco. I'm filling in for my shithead brother. I don't know what I can

do to help you, but I'll, I'll try anything. And This young man stands up, and as he does, you can finally sort of see the front of the apron he's wearing. It's emblazoned with a logo that says South Beach tacos. And the print on this apron is unique. The whole apron is covered in a design that looks like flames. Merle, you are in this black space standing in front of a black marble table with two high-backed chairs, and on that table is a chess set. The walls and floors and ceiling of this space,

it's just all hunger. And sitting in a chair on his side of the table is John, who, again, looks not great. His body is sort of covered in these colorful rifts, kind of like the stuff you see all over. And John says, what happened to your eye, Merle? God, God, what happened to your arm?

Well, I was just going to say what happened to your complexion. He says, I guess we both look a little worse for wear right now, huh? Well, I don't know. I kind of like how I look. You look like, oh, God, like puke. He laughs, and he motions to the chair on the other side of the table from him and says, will you sit? Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure.

If I can reach it. You sit down. It's actually surprisingly comfortable for a black marble chair. and he says, I want to apologize in advance for being out of conversational practice. The last conversation that we had was the last conversation that I had all together. So it's good to see you again. Well, thanks, John. How long ago was that conversation?

He says, you know, I don't actually know they answer that question. You had that last conversation, and we had it on the podcast where John kind of laid out how he got to be the way he is, and then you said, fuck this and stopped, like, going to meet him. I don't know if that was close to the end of the century, or if it wasn't. I leave that up to you. Was that closer to, like, the end of your 100 years, or was it, or was there, like, a break between when you stopped? I kind of thought it was, like, three quarters of the way in. Okay, yeah, I sort of figured that that was the case. So, yeah, it's probably been like about 30 years then, including the like decade where you were in this world.

And he explains that to you. And he says, I've got to know, Merle. How'd you pull it off? How did you hide it from me for so long? Hide what, Johnny Boy? The light. Merle, please don't do that. The light of creation.

I couldn't find it for over a decade moral. It was a bad situation. How did you manage to hide it for that long? We were just really tricky, really cunning. And I... Hell, John, I don't know. I don't know what the hell we did. I barely remember where I went to the bathroom last.

I don't know what we did with the light. He kind of senses that you're being... a little coy and his smile fades a little bit and he says, Murrell, you should know, I'm not really in charge here anymore. When the hunger stopped being fed, its priorities changed. It's not a sentient being looking for ascension anymore, looking to surpass existence in the rules that government. It's just hungry. The purpose that brought my world together and turned it into this, it doesn't care about that purpose anymore, Merle. It just wants to consume. And it's not going to keep me around for much longer, Merle. I failed it for over a decade. It's not just going to let that pass. I don't want you

to keep any secrets from me, Merle. I just, I didn't bring you here to pump you for information. I genuinely just brought you here because I needed to say goodbye. to someone. I just, I genuinely just want to chat. Is that, is that what's going on with these riffs in your face? This, this boss of yours is messing you up like that? Um, he says indirectly, I suppose, yes. Um, well, let me help you.

Well, wait, I, when I had magic, I could have helped you, but, you know, I don't, I don't have magic anymore. He smiles and he says, that's very, very, you know, he says, that's very, Very kind of you, old friend. I'm glad to hear you say that, actually. I didn't know how this meeting was going to go. You know the rules of parley. I brought you here. And so I suppose you could have killed me if you wanted to. And as he says that, bright white eyes appear all over the walls and floor and ceiling. And they're all like staring furiously down at John. And he clams up. for a second and he says, I guess that they would prefer that you didn't kill me. Can we just talk? Can you tell me a story about your life, Murrell? Tell me anything. Maybe we can play another game. And the chess pieces move into the starting position. He says, just tell me anything about the last decade, Murrell. We have so much to catch up on. Well, okay. I'll do that. Who goes first? He takes a white piece and a black piece in his hand and offers them to you. you. Okay. I'll take the white piece. And he says you go first. Tell me, tell me something about your life, Murrow. All right, John, I'll tell you something. I got a couple of kids. He laughs and he says,

you, Murrell, have kids. I got kids. I know. I got kids. He's, he's like laughing about that as as you sort of take your first couple of moves and he takes a couple of moves. And really quickly, like he is adopting like a really strange strategy. He's just like trying to get his king out of the back line as quickly as possible and moving it into the fray. And you've played chess with him a couple dozen times and like this is a, this is not great chess strategy and you've never like seen him fuck up this bad before. And he says, how old are they?

That sounds wonderful. Mavis and Mookiee, girl and boy. Mavis is, you know, teenageish and Mookiee is younger than that. I'm not real good yet at the, you know, dad thing. But, you know, I'm learning. I'm getting better about it. He says, I'm not worried about you, Marl. You'll get there.

And as he says that, maybe not. As he says that, he moves the king to capture one of your pawns. And as he does, you see these faint threads of light come off of the king and like ensnare the pawn and it, it pulls it into its mass. It pulls this pawn into the king piece. And as the pawns form disappears into the king, those threads remain now just bound around the king piece. And as this peculiar scene unfolds, John is just staring at you intensely, Merle. Magnus, you see, you see the royal act. Owl swoop down and right as Killian is about to intercept it with a crossbow bolt, the owl's

eyes flash, and suddenly she's under its control. And she turns her bow towards you, Magnus. And just as she's about to fire, Noel wraps her metallic arms around her from behind and restrains her. And Carrie just leaps onto the owl's back, just stabbing it as it starts to take flight again. And then the bear is in front of you again, Magnus, and it looks like it's about to charge you. Okay. Okay. 29. Jesus Christ. Okay. I roll the 17 plus 10 and with the bear mask plus two.

Yeah, that's a good roll. Okay. You, chance lance again? Uh, no. I am going to grapple. Oh, shit. All right. Uh, all right.

I'm going to attempt, uh, judo style to use its momentum against it and throw it. Okay. You, uh, I think the bear sees you doing this. And although this bear is in like furious, nonsensical monster mode, you see just faintly, you see it retract its claws as if to say like, all right, motherfucker, let's wrestle. And it charges towards you. And I think your shoulders just slam together. And as you collide, we see another flashback. And it's the same scene that the bear is picking you up off the ground of the pavilion.

And you dust yourself off. And the chimpanzees just kind of laughing in the corner. and the bear says, let's try again, Magnus. What do you think strength is? Strength is being stronger than your opponent. Strength is being strong enough. Strong enough to do what? Win, survive.

I don't know. He picks you up, Magnus, and just kind of throws you to the ground. And he says, you're telling me what it is to be. strong. That's not what strength is. Why do you want to be strong, Magnus? So I don't have to lose anyone. He says, you want to protect your friends? Is that right? They're not strong enough. I have to be. You see the bear smirk and he starts to walk toward the chimpanzee with his claws drawn. What do you do? I jump on its back. You jump on its back and he just effortlessly like reaches up and digs its claws,

digs his claws like into you and just tosses you away. And then you see the bear start to swat down at the chimpanzee and just stops like an inch away from hitting it. And he says, you need strength to protect someone. That's right, Magnus. But the desire to protect is not strength itself.

You're incorrect again. And then we're back in the real world and you, just hoist this bear up. You definitely get the better of it. What do you do with it? I just want to pin it. I want to pin it and hold it. Okay, yeah, you definitely have it pinned down to the ground and you are holding it,

and it's snapping at you with its jaws, but you have it in a position where you can easily finish it off. And if you don't, it is going to keep coming at you. I scream at it to your chimpanzee, chimpanzee. nothing it doesn't work and actually as you lower your head down it gets a it's it's uh that wasn't very bad like it takes six damage uh as it sort of bites the the side of your face and leaves you with a nasty scratch i don't want to hurt it i don't want to kill it it's my mentor it's my teacher um whatever that was whatever your mentor and teacher was is nowhere to be found inside

of this bear this thing is it's it's it's gone completely feral and is just hell-bent on destruction. I'm sorry, and I stab it. Okay. You stab it, and you know how to stab it pretty good because of the life that you've lived, and the bear starts to fade, and as it does, as it does, its face relaxes just for a moment, and you see gratitude in the fading light of his eyes and then he blows away turned to ash and for just a moment there is quiet and then you're back on the ground with this horrible pain in your shoulder take 21 points of damage as you feel the royal wolf pounce on top of you invisible no

longer and he's got his full weight on your back. It's like a car is parked on you, Magnus, and he's just tearing into you. And then you flash back to one of your final training sequences with the bear. Um, and you, you run at him and he throws you to the ground with a force that lets you know that despite his warning, he's been holding back until now, and he's leaning his full weight into your back, just pinning you to the ground in a similar manner that the wolf is doing now. and you hear a pop in this flashback as your shoulder dislocates. And he's yelling now. He says,

Magnus, what is strength? What is the first thing I told you when you came in here? Ask for help. He leans in again, and you hear another pop, and you don't even know where that came from, but it hurt like hell. Chimpanzee. There's a blur overhead and the sound of an anguished grunt,

and from your perspective, you can see that corner and the chimpanzee is no longer there. He's standing over you and he's helping you up and he holds your arm and pops it back into joint. And you see the bear lift himself up several feet away. And the chimpanzee is laughing because the bear seems to be stretching out a sore arm also. And the bear speaks and says, strength is a tool, Magnus. It's a commodity. you can spend it and spend it, but everyone's got some, and lots of folks are going to have

more than you. But if you ask for it, Magnus, other folks' strength can become your own. That is what strength is, Magnus. Who gives you strength? How willing are you to ask for it? Pride and glory are the enemies of true strength, Magnus. And he puts a paw on your shoulder, and he says, in every warrior's life there comes a moment where they are overpowered by a superior fighter.

And then he lets you go and he wraps an arm around the chimpanzee and he says, But you keep friends nearby and you ask for help when you need it, Magnus, and you won't just be strong. You'll be unbeatable. And you're back in real time and this wolf is on you just biting away. What do you do? Help! You hear a sound like the shattering of all the glass in the world as the wall of the hangar

dome in front of you explodes. And through that enormous hole in the wall, you see a Bureau of Balance transportation sphere fly through the air and collide with the wolf who flies with a surprised yelp up and off the side of the moon base. And you see Avi peek out. from behind the cannon inside of the hangar, and it quickly runs down the stairs and jumps through the hole in the wall

and helps you to your feet. He says, are you, are you okay, Magnus? Avi, that was sick. That was amazing. The two of you walk over to the edge of the moon base where the wolf just flew off, and Avi's kind of like seeing to your shoulder, but he takes a beat and he looks over the edge, and he says,

do you want to say it or should I? No, you take it. He says, no dogs on the moon. Um, Taco, Joaquin is standing in front of you inside of the South Beach Tacos food truck and just asked what you want him to do to help. Okay, Joaquin, what's, uh, what's your last name, Joaquin? Uh, uh, Terrero. Okay, Joaquin Terrero. That, that is what name you.

will be known by, but for the rest of time and memorial, the world, our world, maybe your world, who knows, will know you as the man wreathed in flames. I know it sounds cool, and it is. One time the oldest lady I've ever seen in real life told me that you were going to save my proverbial bacon, I tap on the thing to see if it's just a, if I can get anything through it or if it's just a communication thing. No, you can't, you can't seem to pass through it or pass anything through it. It's just a communication device.

And he says, Taco, I don't know what I can do from here. I could cook you up a meal if I could send it back through. I don't know if I could, you know, cook something that would give you, you know, fucking magic power or whatever. Okay. I got a hunch. My whole life has been really long. And throughout it, I've been led to some.

And I used to think it was to create something. And now I think it's to find you. This is going to sound weird considering my name, but I don't know what a taco is. I've gotten hints. I mean, basically, if you want to call them taco prophecies, that's a crazy thing to say out loud, but I just said it. So here we are, I guess. I'm talking through a frying pan. Try to keep up walking.

but I I think it's been leading me to you to this He says You want me to show you how to cook a taco taco Joaquin I'll take one taco With extra destiny

He laughs and he Says Yeah fuck it I'm gonna teach taco how to make a taco And he races to action And he starts pulling in ingredients out of the fridge and igniting the stove and heating up a pan. And for a second, he actually reaches for the pan you're speaking to him from and then thinks better of it and grabs one from next

to you. Thank you very much for that. He says, it's a shame that you're not near your kitchen right now. I could, you could sort of do it alongside me like a like a demonstration or something. Yeah, I'm going to let myself be seeing being taught how to cook anything. Nice try. Taka, you hear a sound like fabric tearing and on the ground the bag of necessity swells up and tears apart as your stagecoach emerges from within it

and it looks beautiful just like the day you started your tour with a freshly painted sign hanging over the window proudly proclaiming sizzle it up with Taco all right well Mogan I climb in there

and look for the I start getting my cooking shit together. Whatever Joaquin's got out, I'm following his lead. Yeah, as you race inside, you find the interior of your coach spotless with all of the cutlery and cookware you brought with you on the road. And on the counter, in front of the stage, you see bowls containing ingredients, some of which are familiar to you. There's a tray of fresh ground beef and some tomatoes and some small ramekins with various spices,

and some you've never seen before. And the stovetop is on, and there's a pan already heating. And Joaquin says from the mirror, you ready? Let's do it. So we're going to make some Piccadillo tacos. First off, you want to dice up the potatoes and toss them in a pan with a generous splash of olive oil. Just get them nice and crispy. Okay. Got it. Cooking.

You work through these various steps. And as you're working, you can see through the large window, like sort of your present, presentation area outside, and you can see Lucas, Loop, and Barry still blasting away at the crowd, only they're moving in, like, super slow motion. Time is passing much slower outside of your stagecoach than it is inside, giving you time to prepare this meal. And you finish that step, and Joaquin says, okay, so set those aside, and now you're going to want to start your sauce. Well, I guess first off, actually, let's get the ground beef going. And do you have cumin?

Yeah, I got cumin. What do you think I am? He's like, all right, toss that and some salt and pepper in there and just brown it and drain some of the fat when you're done. Not all of it. You still want a tablespoon or so in there, all right? Yeah, got it. And together, you and Joaquin, a world apart, cook this meal together. And the smell is just remarkable.

You dice up the freshest garlic and onion you've ever smelled. and toss it in the pan, and you follow Watkins' instructions as he sort of walks you through blending some tomatoes and peppers into this delicious, spicy sauce that you reincorporate back into the meat and potatoes. And it's simmering for a while, and there's not much else to do for a bit, and so Joaquin takes a beat and then asks, Taco, I know how this next part goes. We all do from the stories. This is the end of the world, isn't it?

you know maybe it's it's hard to say it's unclear i'm he says i don't take a lot of comfort in that if i'm being honest well i mean i'm a magical elf in a frying pan what do you want from me i i i'm trying man i'm kind of doing my best over here it's untread ground for me too but i'll say this if anybody has a shot at stopping it it's us as hard as that may be to believe um a time timer goes off and uh, Joaquin takes out a couple of tortillas and starts heating them in another pan and you do the same and then, uh, you both add the piccadillo to the tortillas and there it is. Your inexplicable, delicious namesake on a plate in front of you and Joaquin picks up one of

his tacos and he says, I feel like we should toast or something. So a toast. No, it's a taco. It's a little food joke. Very little. So I don't know how you found tacos. This is my first. And I'm going to try real hard to make it not my last. So no matter what happens, you just know that you did your part, okay, Joaquin?

He says, well, I hope it helps. And he sort of raises up his taco to you and, like, a cheers motion. And then we see the two of you in unison, raising your tacos up to your open mouths. And then the scene changes. And inside the celestial plane, we see Istis. And she's working tirelessly, still weaving this massive, colorful tapestry hanging on the wall. And she's clutching a needle tied to one final bright red thread.

And as she pushes it through her work, she takes. a step back and she pauses and finally beholds the shape of her divine artistry. And she smiles and she says, huh, didn't see that one coming. And she rears backwards and pulls the thread taut. And at the same time, across two universes, two food trucks explode. Joaquin stands unharmed among the wreckage of the South Beach tacos food truck, his body surrounded with crackling red electricity, his hair standing slightly on end,

and for a moment the shadows nearby are stunned, and then pounce as one toward him. And he's so calm, and he says, No. And at his command, the shadows are torn apart by the power surrounding him, and he points a finger towards another nearby crows. crowd of shadows who are working to topple a city bus and it rips through them, sending a storm of ash flying as it arcs. And Joaquin starts walking confidently away from the wreckage.

A massive shadow 10 times Joaquin's size swipes a fist toward him and Waukeen catches it in the air and the enormous figure is filled with red light and it screams as it disintegrates. And Wachene smiles and he makes a finger gun and closes one eye and he aims it at six nearby shadows one at a time, and then he pulls the trigger and six individual bolts fire from his hand destroying his targets. And then we see a dark hallway suddenly illuminated as the doors to that high school are blasted open, revealing a quiet city street outside. And Joaquin is there, still filled with this power, and he sees the terrified faces of the students and teachers inside, and he says, everything's going to be okay. I've got magic power. I've got magic power.

Tacco, you're standing over the rubble of your own stagecoe right in front of the circle of black glass and you're filled with that same power. And you hear your sister behind you shout, holy shit, are you okay? Yeah, I'm pretty fucking great. I'm going to turn this glass into the blue one. That is a... Oh, you don't need to roll for that, son. Oh, hell yeah. As you touch the black glass, you feel that power.

just discharge out of you. It shoots out of your hand, and there's no ripple. There's no slow conversion of the glass. It's just sapphire. And as it changes, it's almost like you threw open the doors of a wind tunnel. Your hat is knocked off and thrown several dozen feet backwards, landing in grass that has already started regaining its color, and shades of blue peek out of the sky above. And all across this world, heat becomes hotter and water becomes wetter and light becomes lighter and shadows become darker. In the sky above, streaks of divine light race through the sky as the planes are reconnected at last. And from the sapphire window, something starts to take shape. Large figures are rising up and out of the ground, and after a moment they take their place and in front of you

is Fandolin. The buildings that rose up from the ground are made of this, white spectral light. And actually on the outskirts of the circle, the fragments of buildings connect with their year-old ruined counterparts that survived at the very edge of the gauntlets fire. And kneeling at the center of town is Kravitz. Merle, you're still playing this chess game, and it's still weird. And John says, So, uh, what's it like being a dad? And he takes another piece. with his king as he says that, and that scene replays, it consumes the bishop he takes and another thread of light appears and is tied around the king piece.

Oh, it's pretty great, John, there's something that is so indescribable about being part of bringing a new life into the world. It really is something you can't describe to anybody else. but to be responsible for a new consciousness, a new soul, and then, you know, to help that consciousness and that soul become what it's supposed to become, ah, it's the best. I didn't realize it for a real long time. Wasn't really good at it. But once I realized that this was like this tremendous gift. And I got twice.

Ah, loved it. He says, you know, I thought for a while about having some kids of my own, but... Oh, why didn't you? Well, the whole... And he looks down and he says, I had other priorities. And he takes another piece with the king and he takes another pawn and it's pulled inside the king and another thread of light is tied around the king. And every time he does this, Merle, like, he is just like, you can see him just like barely, like, nodding his head and like looking down at the piece and then back at you and then back at the piece as he does it. He says, I guess I've got like a billion kids if you want to think about the hunger that way.

And he takes another piece. And as he takes a piece this time and actually mentions the hunger by name, those eyes appear again. and they are now just watching the two of you and your game very, very, very closely. Well, John, you want to share a little bit about yourself with me? Tell me a little story about yourself. I mean, that's what friends do. We exchange stories. I exchange a story about kids.

You know, you haven't really told me much about what you did before. You were, you know, a world-crushing avatar for a gigantic evil. force? You know, what did you do for a living? Well, I was a motivational speaker, Merle. And he, he, he is fucking staring at you. And he says, I told people what they needed to hear. And as he says that, one of your pieces moves of its own volition and approaches John's king. It's a knight. And as the knight moves towards the king, the piece actually animates. And there's a mounted rider on a horse,

and this rider raises a sword and rakes it across the king and cuts all of those glowing threads that are surrounding the king. And suddenly John's king explodes, and all of the pieces that it had consumed come flying out of it and go scattering across the table. And when that happens, the room around you screams. and those eyes start burning and they're squinting with rage and suddenly hands attached to these long arms appear from the walls and the floor

and John stands up from his chair with a start but he's too late. These hands are just tearing at him and those rifts all over his body start to expand. And a group of arms reach up and grab his legs and start to pull him down into the floor. And he's screaming and he's really, reaching for you, Merle. What do you do? I wrap my arms around him. I grab my run to him. I grab him. Throw my arms around his chest. Lock my hands behind his back.

And try to pull him out. All right. You wrap your arms around John and unintentional or no are giving him this embrace as you try to pull him up and out of the ground as these hands keep pulling him, but the hands just have him. There's so many, they're so strong. And his waist is in the ground, and his stomach and chest,

and he's trying to keep himself out with his arms, but there are arms grabbing his arms and pulling those down into the ground. And just before he disappears, his eyes meet yours, and he's inches from you, Merle, and you hear him whisper, break the bonds Merle

Break. And then he's gone. And the eyes all around the room turned towards you. And the table and chairs are gone. Hey, hey guys. And now the hands are grabbing at you, Merle. And as they grasp you,

you feel them burning your skin through your clothes. And they're pulling you down, slowly and painfully into the floor. And then you feel something you haven't felt all day, Merle. You feel the presence of your God. What do you do? Okay. I say, it's about freaking time.

And I cast zone of truth. To what end? No, this is amazing. You cast zone of truth and you've, You've cast this spell before, and it's like a spotlight appears above you and like shines down and then sort of expands out several feet and encompasses some folks, and then they don't lie. That's what usually happens when you cast zone of truth.

When you cast it this time, that light shines down, and as it bursts through the ceiling of this room, you can see the hunger burned away. And it is surrounding you in this column of perfect holy light. and as it hits you, the hunger that is grabbing at you from the floor burns away, and the circle expands and expands, and as it does, it is the most powerful holy spell you have ever cast, and it just, it peels this darkness off the walls and floor, and you see it disintegrating into ash, and the walls are just screaming, and these eyes wink closed and disappear.

year. And then the room is just light. And you see in front of you from the ground as you sort of start to pick yourself up from where you're being pulled down, you see two hooved, furry legs and a round hairy pot belly and a warm horned face with kind eyes and a bushy beard and wild hair. And you are standing in front of a deity you have worshipped your entire life, Merle. And he's smiling and he's helping you to your feet. And for all of his divine glory, Pan in this moment, looks meek and apologetic. And he says, hi, Merle. Hey, boss. What's, uh, where you been? What's, uh, I mean, I'm not pissed or anything, but where, what's been going on? Why haven't you been helping me out? Why, I,

haven't you been there for me? He says, Merle, I tell the trees when to shed their leaves and I make every piece of fruit taste the way that it tastes and I taught every blade of grass

in the ground where to grow. Did you really think I had forgotten about you? Yeah. He laughs and he says, I was trapped in the celestial plane, Merle, along with every other God, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I wasn't strong enough to find a way out on my own. Oh, well, yeah, make me feel guilty now. He smiles.

I'm sorry. He says, that's not my intention either. I just, I want you to understand where I was because I don't want you to think I had forsaken you, Merle. Hey, I can live with that. Like I said, I'm still. alive. My buddies are, I think, still alive. So I got my magic back. I mean, is this a temporary thing? I mean, is this for real? He places a hand on your shoulder. And as he does so, you see this scene starting to like fade this, this parlay space that was created is like fading

out. And even Pan himself is starting to sort of fade out as you leave this space. And he says, Merle, I'm back and with you for good. And I, Merle, I heard your story. And I need you to know something. And he fades a little bit more. But you can still feel his warm hand on your shoulder. And he says, you're not from this world. And so. Technically speaking, that means I'm not your pan. And he's almost gone now, and he says, but you will always be my Merle. Hey, everybody, this is Griffith McElroy, your dungeon master, your best friend,

and your tardy boy, because the episode's like, sorry, everybody, it's been, it's been a week. It's, this is like, I think it's probably going to end up being the longest episode we've ever done, and one of the more ambitious episodes we've ever done, and I really didn't want to rush it. None of us did. And so, yeah, sorry for it being a couple days late. We will try to get the next part of the finale up in a more timely manner. I want to thank everybody who's been tweeting about the show using the Zonecast hashtag.

There's no more characters to give out, unfortunately, because we're real close to finishing this one up. And so we just really appreciate you tweeting about the show and telling your friends out of the kindness of your hearts. It really means a lot. And I don't know. I might stress if you tweet about the show. like don't start listening to the most current episodes because it'll ruin everything. But regardless of where you tell people to hop in, we just appreciate you spreading the word

because we have never paid to advertise this show and it has grown to be something very, very big and very, very special. And that is 100% on you all for like telling your friends and coworkers and whoever the hell to listen. And that means more to me than I will ever be able to put into words in a commercial break. So thank you all so much. I also super want to thank Rachel Rose Mitchell, who composed the version of the voidfish music that you heard it at the beginning of this episode. And we'll continue to hear.

This version of the song is incredible. I've been listening to it for months and wanted a place to put it in the show. It's called Voidfish plural. And it fucking rules. Like I wanted a song like this in the finale. And when I heard this version, I was like, oh, that's it. and Rachel was kind enough to let me use it. You can find more of Rachel's music at her bandcamp page,

which is Rachelrosmitchell.bantam.com. Or you can find her music on YouTube. It's YouTube.com slash Rachel Rose Mitchell Music. Got a few personal messages here. This one is for Christian and Ari, and it's from Jonathan and Heather, who say, congrats on the current state of your relationship.

Since we don't know when this message will run, and you don't know exactly when you'll be hearing even more bad jokes about the third ring, maybe you're married, maybe you're still engaged. Regardless, we wish you the very best, together and individually. I'm going to go ahead and say congratulations, Christian, and Ari, because we were so backed up on Jumbotron messages right now. There is a zero percent chance that whatever wedding was supposed to happen has not happened yet. So, congrats on your nuptials, and sorry for being such fuck-ups over here.

Here's another message for Carmen from the tapes and Cressida, and it's from Barrow. and Finra, who say, thanks so much for fixing slash building our fantasy cottage so we could move into Neverwinter. How you did it with only a skeleton arm and sacred flame will never know. Man, that's some fucking

rehab addicts shit. Like, we're going to take this skeleton arm and turn it into a complete house. That is some this old, decrepit skeletal house. I would watch that HGTV show for sure. I want to thank everybody who came out to our live show at San Diego

Comic-Con. It was a ton of fun. We are going to be putting that live show and the Austin live show up once we finish the campaign here in a little bit to frankly give us a little time off to recuperate from the emotional exhaustion we're all experiencing

right now. I also want to tell you all, we told a bunch of the folks in the audience this and we've been tweeting about this sort of here and there, but pre-orders are now available for the Adventure Zone graphic novel, the first graphic novel, which is an adaptation of the first arc of the podcast. Here, there'd be Gerblins that we all work to adapt with art by Carrie Peach.

The cover is now public. You can go and look at what it looks like, and you can also pre-order it right now. The easiest way to do that is to just go to theadventurezonecom. We've been getting a ton of pre-orders, and it is very humbling, and we appreciate it so much. And if you want to get this book, it comes out next year. So there's a little bit of a wait, but if you want to pre-order it, now. It is theadventurezonecomic.com. The next episode is going to be up hopefully on time, although it will probably end up being another gargantuan episode on August 10th, which is my daddy's

birthday. And I'll say this because I'm not 100% sure, but I have a feeling that it might be the final episode of this campaign. What's up? I do not know that. And so I'm going to give myself a little bit of wiggle room in case we end up recording for like three hours and we still don't get through it and decide that it should be two episodes. But we are, I'm saying like 75% chance the next episode's the last one of this campaign. And I'm saying that because I did tell you that I would give you a heads up when the finale was actually coming. So stay tuned. I'll probably tweet about if that changes, but August 10th, Daddy's Birthday, Episode 69, the stars are aligning. And it may be the final of the campaign. And we will tell you what is coming up after that. I do have to stress again,

the podcast isn't ending. We have big, very, very cool plans for what we want to do next. I'm very excited for where this show is about to go. And I'm very excited to tie all this up. This is, this is like, I say this all the time, but this is like the biggest creative endeavor that I've ever been a part of. And I'm so proud of it. And like, connecting these pieces that we have been scooting closer and closer together for three years now. Finally seeing them come together is like, I've never, I've never, I've never experienced anything like it. And it's, and the reaction to it has been like, I just, I love you all so much.

This, this means so much to me. And let's get back to the episode because some stuff's about to happen. We see Goldcliff. And it's skyscrapers. and gold-capped roofs look muted without the desert sun's light. Goldcliff is a vacation destination, and so when the hunger arrived, it caught sunbaters and loungers and partiers completely unaware.

We see them all now scattering, running through their cramped city streets from their invisible foes. They're ushered like cattle deeper into the city where the local militia shepherd survivors into the sturdy, towering walls of the Goldcliff Trust. Last year, it survived being assaulted by supernatural vines. Surely it could stand up to this. And in the crowd, we see three familiar faces.

Vacationing in Goldcliffe, when the hunger attacked, were the Beechdorff Hecuba and her two children, Mavis and Mookie. They're caught in the stampede, just trying to keep up. Hecaba's holding Mookie's hand. He's so small. And they're so close to the doors of the trust. and someone runs full sprint into Mavis. Her glasses come flying off and are instantly destroyed by a hundred panicked footfalls.

And when Hecaba and Muki reach the trust, Hecuba realizes with horror that her daughter is gone. And she shouts and yells, but is pulled inside by the militia who begin to close the large metal doors of the trust as the city's last few survivors are pulled inside. Mavis is running through the streets now, but without her glasses, her vision is impaired. She turns through an alley and then another, and she knows she's just getting more and more lost. It shouldn't have taken this long to get to the bank, and she hears monsters all around, and she just keeps running, and she runs into one of these invisible beasts and is knocked to the ground, and she starts crawling backwards on all fours, and she's startled as she crawls into a shallow pool of water, and she keeps crawling, and they're all around her now.

And then her back is up against a tree in the middle of this pool, in the middle of this town, and she hears them everywhere preparing to attack. And then the green light, followed by the blue, passes through Goldcliff. And with blurry eyes, she sees a shadow holding a jagged, deadly blade aloft, and it swings down, and Mavis closes her eyes. and she hears kachunk. And when she looks up, she sees a pair of hands holding the blade. Hands made of gnarled branches and bark.

And the shadow tries to pull away, and a second pair of hands emerge from the tree and crush the shadow in a powerful bear hug. And Mavis still frightened, backs away from the tree, and she sees two figures. One small, one taller and lean, emerge from the tree. And the taller form springs to action. A long branch extends from her hand, and suddenly she's dueling with two shadows, beating them into submission.

And the smaller form wades through the water to Mavis, and as she approaches, she comes into view. Mavis had read about dryads, but she never expected to meet one in her lifetime. Now she could say she had met two. And Hurley leans down, her smiling face beaming beneath a canopy of cherry blossoms, and she says, You're safe now. And then she looks at Sloan, and she says, we're all safe now. Magnus. Yes.

Carrie Killian and Noel have dispatched the royal owl. How many licks did it take? Carrie looks over at you and goes three three stabs to the center of the owl and for a moment everything is quiet but soon everyone joins you and Avi where you are kind of at the edge of the moon base to

observe what's in the distance because one of the judges to the south is getting a little too close for comfort and it is clambering across the Stillwater Sea, which to scale, it looks like just a puddle that this judge is being merely inconvenienced by, and you behold its form with terror. Because if it reaches a city, like the nearby rock port,

it is going to just lay it flat. And Killian says, Fuck! Yeah. And you hear Noelle. say, holy crap. Yeah, that too. She says, no, no, no.

And she points just slightly west on the horizon. And you see another surprising shape. It's Lucas's laboratory, which you explored last candle nights during the Crystal Kingdom. And you see Noel move to action. You see this small satellite dish pop out of her shoulder. And she sort of waves it towards the lab. And she says, well, there's Lucas's lab, but he's not on board. empty.

Who's steering it? She says, it must be an autopilot. She says, oh. Oh? She steps towards the edge, and she turns towards everybody, and she says, I've got to go. Noel? I can stop that big bastard, but I, I got to go. And Killian and Carrie look, like, confused and worried as Noel says that.

And she laughs and turns to you, Magnus, and says, hey, that was the deal, right? Cravitz said I could stay till I did what needed to get done. And it looks like this needs to get done. And she lumberes over to Killian and Carrie, and Carrie's just fighting back tears. And Noel wraps her long metal arms around both of them. And she says, thank you, girls. Thanks for giving me a home. And she sees Carrie starting to tear up.

And she says, well, don't do that now. I died once before, and it's not so bad. I promise, I'm going to see you two again. And she comes over to you, Magnus, and she says, Magnus, thanks for not ripping my arms off, Magnus. And she gives you a big hug. And she says, and thanks for, thanks for helping me get a second chance. No one deserved it more than you.

Thank you. And she takes a step back from all of you, and she says, if any of you ever see Lucas again, apologize for this next part. And Noel Red Cheeks stirs one last time inside of the hug-sized robot that has served as her shell these past few months. And she looks at her friends through her borrowed eyes and grips her fist tight. And she turns back towards Lucas's lab. And she says, Hero time. and her robotic form collapses as her spirit's light fades from that shell,

and suddenly you see Lucas's lab illuminated in that same light, and it pitches slowly at first, but it rapidly gains momentum and arcs like a bullet into the judge. And as they collide, the horizon is immersed in a light too brilliant to look directly at, and seconds later the sound of the explosion, follows. And when the light clears, you see flaming streaks of debris plummeting into the stillwater sea below, and you see the judge's monolithic body lying motionless in the water. Its form slowly turning into ash that floats lazily over the sea's surface up and out of sight. Taco, Kravitz stands up in front of you. And he says, I guess in his non-affected accent,

He says, how did you do that? I run over. I'm already kissing him. This is ridiculous. We've been apart for too long. This is stupid. You approach him really quick, and as he sees you about to kiss him, he puts his hands up over his mouth. And he's blowing.

And he's like, hold on, I want to warm up my face. I don't want it to be cold and weird. And then he starts kissing you. I thought he was checking for bad breath. No. And then he starts kissing you. And it's so nice. I pull away. Okay, forget about how I, short story short, long story short, I was rad,

Natch. How do you still look this good? You've been locked in like mud or tar or something in the astral plane? He looked fantastic. He says, it's a lot of work to look this good. He's, he's, he is overjoyed. He says, I, Taco, I was trying to get out to get a message to you. I thought, I thought you were gone. I thought everything was gone. Well, You're not that far off, but you're right. There has been a terrible loss that you should know about. And I dropped the camouflage spell that I've been maintaining. Oh, God.

So I just wanted to be honest, I didn't want a catfishy or anything. This is Taco today. I had a bad run in while I was saving the world again. and this is what I really look like and I just wanted you to know that in case that changes anything for you personally I thought you should know now

he says Taco I was crazy about you before some weird light told me a story about your 100 year journey through existence where you were fighting for a century to save the world

he says I love you, Taco, and at this point, I think that everyone in reality is going to love you after hearing your story. And nothing's going to change that. That was actually a test. Your face is a skull half the time. So I just wanted to make sure we, yeah, no fucking kidding. Okay, anyway. He said, from behind you, you hear an explosion and you see a light in the distance.

and you hear Lucas say, my lab. No, let's be considered. He probably did a lot of good math on there. And Loup says, we've got a bigger problem here. And as you look over at what Lopes's looking at, there is a judge towering over you,

just a few footfalls away from cushing your party. And Loup looks back at you and she says, I don't know how to kill that. And Kravitz steps forward in front of you, Taco, and he says, well, I think I know some folks who can help. And he turns to you, Taco, and he says, you remember those wayward souls I've been imprisoning? Well, uh, I'm giving them some time off for good behavior.

And the judge raises an open hand in the air and starts to swat it down on top of you, Taco, and as it does so, a massive silvery spectral hand emerges from the sapphire window and intercepts it in midair. And that hand, you can see, is comprised of hundreds of swirling individual souls, as is the rest of the body of Legion, which pulls itself up and out of the mirror and roars with a thousand voices. And it pushes the judge, sending it several hundred feet backwards, and then it dives towards it, sending these two massive figures rolling and wrestling far away from your party. And Kravitz says, I need to keep an eye on them, Taco, and I need to shepherd this world's dead, but it's so fucking good to see your face again. When I was over there, I just, I thought about you constantly.

I mean, me too pretty much, except the world's ending, so kind of like half and half, but still, free thought time was. definitely devoted your way. We will hook up after this, no doubt. Let's go ahead and save everybody pretty much, and then we'll move on to that. Does that sound good to you? And he leans forward and kisses you on the forehead, and then

he pulls back. And as he pulls back, his... Wait, shit. One thing before you go. This is my sister. Loop walks over, and she says, What's up, Ghost Rider? and Barry walks over and kind of awkwardly waves to, and he was like mid-transformation into his like skeletal form.

His face turns into a skull and he's got this long black robe and his scythe appears in his hand. And he looks at Loop and also kind of awkwardly waves. And then he comes over to you and says, you know we're going to have to talk about the fact that your sister's a litch, right? Yeah, I assumed And he steps backwards and says Let's figure it out after we save the world

And deal He flies off Merle You are back Walking around lifting his eye patch So these beams are coming out of it And blast and stuff

And he's saying Truth beams Tooth beams No actually you're You're lying In some mud On the side of a straight dirt road and that is where you sort of awaken after being in the parley space.

And this dirt road, it's cutting through a forest of these sparse pine trees. And as you stand and sort of get your bearings, you see the Bureau headquarters still floating in the sky several miles down the road. And in the opposite direction, away from the Bureau, a horseless wagon, almost like the battle wagons you saw in Goldcliffe, is racing toward you. and it's leaving a horde of shadows completely in its dust. And it rolls to a stop directly in front of you, and the heavy wooden door on its side swings open,

and you hear a voice say, hop aboard, little Gerblen. And there's Cassidy, and she's wearing a poorly tailored suit, and she's reaching a hand out toward you. You're not going to hit me with a shovel, are you? I put that chapter of my life behind me. I'm the mayor now.

I'm clean and sober. Well, sister Sue, let's get rolling. She grabs your wrist and pulls you on board and slams the door of this wagon shut behind you, and you kind of reel as the wagon kicks back into high gear, tearing down the road towards the headquarters. And inside this wagon, you see so many familiar faces from the town of refuge. Wren is here, and she's clutching her magic rod and looking backward out a small window at the shadows chasing the wagon. And Paloma is sitting on a cushion on the floor, peering deeply into a small crystal. And through the front window, you can see Luca and Redmond driving the wagon.

And Luca sees you hop aboard and waves. And sitting opposite the door you just came in is June, and perched on her shoulder is a small red bird that you recognize as Roswell, who chirps happily as you enter the car. And as you enter in the door shuts, Roswell flitters over to your shoulder. shoulder and everyone greets you warmly and Cassidy says, What the heck are you doing lying on a dirt road in the middle of the apocalypse? I have back issues. No, I just, I don't know, I did, you know, hook, hook back up with my God. And, you know, it was kind of tiring.

But, well, we can talk about this later. Are you, are you here to help us save the world? June says Well Paloma brought us here Actually She said she had a feeling That she'd be seeing you today

She has something that she wanted you to see And Paloma motions you towards another cushion Next to hers on the floor And gestures for you to sit And she says God I got to conjure up my fucking Bjork voice again Hold up Merle I wanted you to see something

this and she holds the crystal up and she says this is my last prophecy merle all the other prophecies they showed me that the end of the world but this one and she takes your hand and sort of like stretches out your fingers and puts the crystal in your hand and she says this one hasn't shown me anything maybe it just doesn't work but maybe maybe there's another way that all this can end can you keep it safe for me please you got it consider it done and roswell says we heard about your story merle all of us it's unbelievable we we owe you such a huge debt for what you did in refuge but but we have to ask more of you now i i know you can stop this merle i i don't know how but and roswell's interrupted as the wagon screeches to a halt and you hear luka shout holy shi

shit. And Cassidy just reflexively like springs out of the door of the wagon and Wren follows. And you hear them exclaim also from outside. Holy shit. I take this crystal and I put it in my, you know, those those little watch pockets. Hold on. Travis did say, but. Okay. Not your butt.

It's challenge that real quick. there. So I put it in my butt and I walk awkwardly to the exit of the stage. All right. You really put it in your pocket. Please don't make that canonical. And you, uh, you hop out of the coach. And you see a few hundred feet in front of you straddling the road and staring

downward is one of the judges. And as it sees you, Merle, it starts walking in your direction. And Rinn looks panicked and Cassidy takes a step backward. And from your shoulder. You hear Roswell say, well, that's a big boy. And it flitters down to the ground and turns to face you, Merlin. It says, well, I may not be an elemental anymore, but I can still talk to the earth. And it turns to face this giant and says,

And we've got friends down there. And Roswell chirps out a song. And you feel the earth beneath your feet tremble and to the west. you hear a terrible crash and then another. And as you look in that direction, you see pine trees being ripped out of the ground and tossed effortlessly into the air. And you see the earth buckling and moving

as a fissure forms and races toward the road. And then you hear a deafening roar, and then the ground explodes. And there's the purple worm. And it's sailing through the air with surprising grace, and it rams the judge like a train, and both go rolling into the forest on the opposite side of the road. And the worm is just coiling around the judge,

just taking huge bites out of it and burning it with fire. And the judge is taking shots at the worm, too, but you can see that it's clearly overwhelmed as the two of them go wrestling deeper and deeper into the woods and out of sight. And in the distance, in the woods, you hear the purple worm roar. And Roswell says, it says thanks for reuniting it with its kids and then there's another roar and Roswell says

and it says you're even the three of you have regrouped on board the Bureau of Balance headquarters Magnus first you saw Taco Loop and Barry flying up over the edge magically so what did you guys do and quickly following them you see Lucas

in his upsie mech, and he slams down and sees you. And Luke says, oh, no big deal. Taco just summoned all the energy in our reality to come help us fight. I fought a bear. When I say it like that, it doesn't sound as good, does it? Barry says, was it a big bear? Oh, yeah, big and Yvon Abel. And there was a wolf, too.

So like, you know. And Avi says, I did the wolf. Shut up. And Lucas walks over in the mech and actually hops out of the cockpit and runs over because he sees Noel's robot body on the ground and Carrie and Killian are there. And the three of them take a moment to mourn their friend. And then moments later, there's Merle on the Zoom broom. and he flies up and over the edge of the moon base.

Hey, what did you guys do? I fought a bear. Big one? Yeah. Oh, cool. What'd you do, pointy hat? I saw my boyfriend. Oh, you're kidding.

Yeah, it was dope. I like that guy. What'd you do, Merle? I lay down in the road. Really? That's it? Watch the big worm. Oh, I got my magic powers back.

Bering the lead. Oh, nice. Yeah, Pan showed up. up. Nice. We're good again. No, we're good. I met God.

No big deal. So the three of you regrouped for a moment. And then Angus and Davenport comes sprinting out of the main dome. And Angus looks relieved to see everyone. And then he actually points at Lucas and says, I thought he died. Uh, no. That was a clever ruse. And Davenport is kind of winded.

And he says, okay, we looked all over. but there's just no sign of Lucretia. Loop, Barry, did you all find the Star Blaster? And Luke says, oh, I may have forgotten that we were supposed to be doing that. But Lucas pipes up and sort of stands up and says, are you all talking about Lucretia's spaceship? It's kind of all of ours. It's kind of, yeah, it's like a timeshare more. Yeah, we're all on.

We're all on the registration. Yeah. He says, well, I know where that is. Lucretia had me and my mom build a hangar for it right here in the Bureau HQ. And he walks over to a tree in a corner of the grassy quad in the middle of the bureau. And he puts his hand on the side of the tree as high as he up as he can reach. And he drags his palm downward. And nothing happens.

And he pulls his hand back and he frowns and he says, I just got a splinter. And then he shakes his head and he walks over to a different tree and repeat. the gesture, and suddenly a gap appears running down the length of the lawn, and this gap spreads further and further apart, and you hear the sound of pistons and servos stirring to life, and then there it is. It's a bit dusty, and it's still got some of the battle damage from your century abroad, but the Star Blaster is here, and the Bond engine in the back of the ship activates, and it starts humming and slowly rotate. almost like it senses your presence, the ship extends a metallic gangplank that lowers down to the ground ready to receive you.

And Davenport's looking off the edge of the headquarters, just sort of surveying the horizon. And he walks over to where you're all standing, and he says, it looks like you all have done some good work out there, but the facts haven't changed. The hunger is going to keep attacking this world until it's destroyed. We've got to go. not yet when you when you said not yet magnus somebody else said it at the same time um and there's a flash of light and there's lucretia and she's standing in front of the gangplank and she's still surrounded by her barrier um and she's still channeling the light of of creation into her staff and she says

not yet please please please i'm begging you all we've been through so much we've given up so much to make this work. I am begging you, please let me do this. Please let me put up the barrier. There has to be, Lucretia, there has to be another way. Barry says, Lucretia, if that spell goes off, you're going to sever every bond this world's got. This plane would be doomed. And he turns towards everyone else, and he says, we got two choices, gang. We stay and Lucretia's barrier cuts this world off from the rest of existence, or we run. And we try. Try again next cycle. That's it.

Two choices. It's time to decide. There's a third option. As you say that, Taco, the crystal in Merle's pocket actually floats up out of his pocket and it's glowing and it shatters. And suddenly the area you're all standing in is filled with a thick white fog. And inside that fog, you all see visions of a bright future. Taco, you see yourself cooking up a feast in a fancy kitchen and Loop is sitting there back in her body. And the two of you are laughing about a joke that you can't quite hear.

And Magnus, you're sitting under a tree at a park and you're watching Angus throw a frisbee to a big golden retriever. And Merle, you see the ocean and you see yourself splash up out of it and you're holding mooky under one of your arms. And Mavis is like watching and laughing from the beach. just pick Mookie up and launch him into the water as he cackles the whole way. And Carrie and Killian are in this big cabin on a mountainside, curled up on a couch both reading the same book. And Lucretia's there, and she's overseeing a crew of workers who are building this massive library

in the heart of a thriving rebuilt Neverwinter. And Lucretia's on the verge of tears as she sees this, and she says, what is this? What does this mean? I would like that one. Yes, that one. This one that we just saw, I would like this, please. It means there is a happy ending if we get to it.

We could close ourselves off and we could run. There's a third option, though. Lucretia, your spell. Could it keep the hunger bound? Could it cut the hunger off? When you say that, Lucretia's like whole posture changes. She kind of leans back. And for a second, you see the spell stop being channeled into her staff.

And she says, huh. And Barry says, huh. And Louvre says, huh. Listen, all that thing wants on earth. the thing it wants more than anything else, we have been basically trolling it for a hundred years. The only thing it wants is to pick us up and absorb us into itself. And I don't know about you all, but tacos good out here.

Lucretia says, that would work. She said, but I would have to be on the plane that I'm casting the spell over in order to do it, we would have to get up there into the hunger. We had a ship that moved from plane to plane. And Davenport... What he said.

Davenport smiles and walks over to the Star Blaster and he says, I can get us up there. I know I can. And he puts his hand on the side of the star blaster up against the hall and he says, you up for one last flight, old buddy? And he boards the ship.

Yes, I am, Davenport. Oh, shit. It's incendiate at the hall. whole time. Fuck. Yes, Wilbur. We never thought to talk to it in a hundred years. And Lucretia brings down her barrier and she says, I'm so sorry.

I was so myopic. I worked so hard on this plan. I gave up. I had blinders on. And I don't expect you to all to forgive me, but some... I run over and hug her. she is just she just starts

weeping and she says she says to you man she says I'll find a way to make it up I promise it's okay if Merle goes over to hugger but realizes he would

his face would be like right at butt level and that would not be good I pick Merle up so we can all hug her oh that's good yeah let me know how that works out

I look at Taco and I'm like a come on absolutely don't try to manufacture my character growth No way. Absolutely not.

Loop starts to, she floats over and kind of puts her spectral forehead up against loops for a second. And she pulls back and she says, Lucretia, dear, I've already forgotten about the whole thing. Oh, oh, sorry, bad choice of words. And she laughs. And Lucretia just like bursts out laughing. And the two of them like embrace even though like loop is intangible. and Lucretia boards the ship

and then a wind picks up and you hear the sound of roaring coming from all around you and those pillars, those tindrals of darkness that are reaching down from the sky in unison all around the world they start to move dragging themselves through the sky

like pitch black tornadoes and they narrowly miss the moon base as they all move and come to a halt dozens of them, just behind the last remaining judge. And shadows start pouring out of them, thousands, tens of thousands. And the judge is now leading this massive army of shadows in one final furious assault on Neverwinter. And Loop stops halfway up the gangplank,

and she sees this scene, and she turns backward facing Barry, and they both nod. and Loop says, I think Barry and I are going to stay behind. She says, I know that sounds shitty, but listen, the five of you are about to go save the world, and we need to make sure there's still a world for you to come back to, okay? Do you need any help?

She looks at Barry, and you can kind of see like a smile inside of her spectral form, and Barry says, now I think we got this handled Am I I'm not going to lose you again She says Never Never again bud

And floats over and hugs you And says Please don't die I'd say the same to you But that ship doesn't sail they And she laughs And floats down to the rest of the team here on the base

and she says, Barry, Killian, Carrie, Angus, Nerd Lord, you're all with me. And Lucas says, am I nerd lord? And Angus says, yeah, I think she was talking about you, sir. And their party all run. Hold on, wait. I walk over to Angus. I reach in my pocket. I pull out my grandfather's knife.

I hand it to him and say, this has always brought me good luck. Be safe. bring it back to me, okay? He takes it and he just jumps up and gives you a big hug. All right, okay. Be cool. Come on. And he says, I won't let you down, sir.

And then Merle walks over to Barry and said, I'm sorry I thought you were a douchebag. He shrugs and he says, we were all in a pretty dark place. Yeah, but I'm, I wasn't. Wasn't that douchebag. I thought you were and I apologize for that. I'm really sorry. He gives you a thumbs up and he says, can I go fight evil now? Okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, that's good. And then Taco walks over to Angus.

Hey, cool knife. You know he has a sword that's on fire, right? So just before you get too excited, he did just give you a knife. I just want you to remember who's your dude? Who's your dude? He runs over and just grabs on to you And also gives you a big weepy hug And then Magnus goes over to Carrie Hey BFF I got you this necklace And it's one of those hearts And half of it says best friends forever

But split with B-E And then ST almost like FRI or you know that thing And I give her half when I say You stay safe out there and then we'll have you know, sandwiches after the celebratory sandwiches. And then I walk back over to Angus and I flip in my plastic sheriff's badge and I say,

You're the sheriff of magic now, Angus. Anybody else got one? And then Merle walks over to Angus and said, I always loved that badge. Can I have it, kid? Then Angus walks over to Merle and he says, here, sir, I think you wanted this. Sure, Merle, anything you need to save the world? And he hands you the badge. Thanks.

And you were Zavron Hort say, we got to fucking go. Almost done. Magnus walks over to Loop and says, we never hung out enough, I felt. Like, don't be wrong. I like you. I think we get along fine. But we, I just felt like we could have. She says, no, totally.

Let's spend a more time hanging out. Let's save the world. Let's save the world. Then 420 blaze it. Can we go? Hell yeah. And then Merle. Oh, the end.

Gets on the ship. And everyone else does too, and you see the rest of your party as they walk away, walk into the hangar and start mounting up. And the five of you head onto the ship, and Lucretia and Davenport go into the helm that's sort of up on that main deck, and they seal the doors. And you see Lucretia start channeling her spell again. And from inside, you, Taco Merlin Magnus, you hear Davenport say, everyone ready? Wait, I want to tell Killian one last thing. Go! We see three empty spheres from the Bureau of Balance's transit cannons laying in a field outside Neverwinter.

And then the camera pans up, and we see this world's final protectors amassed at the city's gates. Loop, Barry, Carrie, Killian, Angus, and Lucas stand at the forefront of this army, and they're surveying this fighting force's unconventional makeup. The survivors of Neverwinter stand armed and at the ready with Clark and his family and the whole Battlefest crew preparing for the attack. At the center of the crowd is the wagon housing the citizens of refuge. Rinn and Cassidy are perched on top of the wagon, the former armed with her rod, the latter with a crate of industrial strength blasting caps. A dust storm rages in from the west and emerging from it is a fleet of battle wagon racers with her. Hurley and Sloan's car leading the pack.

They brake slide in perfect unison to the flanks of the army and start revving their engines. Near the back of the crowd, a squad of Tom Bodets from Rockport are in the rear battalion, carrying chains and hammers and wrenches and any number of other industrial tools. Weaving through that crowd are the Hogsbottom three, Tanzer, Lucian, and Scales who are carousing

and leading the Tom's in a battle him, getting the whole unit psyched up for the battle at hand. And Lube takes a hard look at this army and then walks toward them pacing over to the right side of the crowd. And she goes up to a young woman holding a broomstick handle that she's crafted into a spear. And she borrows it. And she jabs it into the ground and begins walking across the front line of this army. And she starts to speak. And as she does, the crowd falls silent.

You all know the story now, right? you know what this thing is capable of? I know you're scared. This... And she motions to the army of shadows approaching them. This is scary. But we can do this. And you're going to come away from this fight with some kick-ass stories about this day.

Those things over there for a century. We have watched them take what? they want to take, consume the worlds that they want to consume. And she finishes drawing her line in the ground in front of the gates of Neverwinter, and she tosses the spear back to the young woman, and she points downward and says, That stops here. And immediately the crowd is cheering, and there are murmurs of people talking about their story, about what Loop and Barry and the rest of you did during your century-long journey.

loop steps back to the front of the crowd and faces the hunger as it descends upon them. And she turns to Barry and she says, Hear that, babe? And her hands catch fire and she says, We're legends. And high above, we see the star blaster streaking through the sky, up and away from the moon base, flying for the first time into, not away from the storm. And as its occupants brace themselves for the final battle ahead, they are surrounded by the voidfish's light, and their hearts are stirred by the familiar music they suddenly hear.

See, there's magic in a bard song. They call it inspiration, and it tells the listener what they need to hear right when they need to hear it. And right now, you hear it too. The message in the music heard around the world, you hear Johann's voice. telling you. You're going to have to fight, and... You're gonna win! The story has owed, with this final piece,

your understanding of these impossible events is complete. Like I said before, you're ready now. Darkness surrounds you, but be not afraid. After all, you're going to win. We know that much. But that is the limit of my knowledge. You're all caught up now. Whatever happens next, well, we'll just have to find out together.

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