The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 19: Friendshrimp Along the Way!

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

The Abnimal heroes drive a hard bargain with Clamgela to meet the Walrus. But first they have to make another deal – with Dr. Killdeath!Abnimals Theme by Justin McElroy, Eric Near (https://bit.ly/ericnearmusic) and Jonathan Coulton (https://www.jonathancoulton.com/).Additional Music in this Episode: "Neptune" by Joseph R. Lilore: https://josephlilore.com'; "Darlin'" by Beat Mekanik: https://linktr.ee/beatmekanik; "Lurking Terror" and "Quickening" by malictusmusic: https://www.malictusmusic.com/; "Emerald Therapy" by Jason Shaw: https://audionautix.com/; "Task Man" by Gamesharkoff: https://gagmesharkoff.bandcamp.com/; "First Rays", "Catch and Release", "Bittersweet", "Nashville Lights", "Awkward Cafe", "Chill Down", "Mindsweep", and "Action" by Mr. Smith: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSk2j0fTMw9V94UGyfWrSuA?; "Air" by Jesse Spillane: http://www.jessespillane.com/; "Electric Birds" by Scott Holmes Music: https://scottholmesmusic.com/; "Taffy Machine" by Kate Kody: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/kate-kody/; and "Hoist" by Andy G. Cohen: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Andy_G_Cohen/.World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/ Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

What you've heard? We're at the height of our powers Atop the tallest of towers To stay You'll never stop us now And we'll do it with me much Until it's turning out just like to play And the way

I'll waste a row is long But our mojo is strong And unless I'm wrong And I'm not We're at the height of our power What? You, how can you be scuz Krummelot?

Oh my. I know you. You saved... You were at the awards gala for the... Hmm. Yeah, man. Yeah. You saw me too.

I wanted to be seen. So can I use your computer or how are we doing? Cut to the chase. I guess my question would be, what are you here to use the computer for? Let me ask, well, let me ask. This is so weird because I'm trying to imitate my friend Paul Foxcroft, who has done this voice in pre-recorded messages, and now I'm trying to do it. That's cute.

Does he ever do your voice, do you think? Oh, probably. I'm doing a terrible job at it. He's going to be deeply offended. Is he big on interrupting people when they're trying to do stuff? Okay. Sorry, Paul. I can't imagine you are.

Sorry that Travis thinks that's part of the Paul character. The interruptions. So what makes you so sure that I can't be Scuz Bucket? Scuss Crumelot. Percest? Well, I guess I'm just confused as to why an animal hero would be reaching out to be hired for Hinch work. So...

I don't know how much you know about the amphibble force, but they've been keeping me on the outside for too long, but I do have, you know, insight into their like whole thing, man. So maybe you can let me in and I got a little bit of extra insight and I could just show, you know, the boss. Wink, wink, wink. That I'm a pearl. Well, this is a very convincing argument, Justin. So roll 3DA for me. I want to show the clam that I'm a pearl.

Oh, yeah, you know, I, yes, I understand. Which starts as an irritant, so I think you're well on your way. Yes. Dad, I'm sorry you can't, you aren't in the room, and I didn't hear that because it was withering. But unfortunately, he said it to yourself on the toilet or something. I don't know. I don't forget where you're at. He's in the IT room that he's kind of turned into a toilet.

Oh, being sorry. I was so deep in character I didn't have Roll 20 up because I had merged with the game. Now tell me what that has to do with being in character. What does being in character mean you can't get on a website? Because I'm part of it. Like I'm not seen the roles anywhere. You know what to be? Like I've transcended it.

That's cool. Oh my God. Wow. three successes. His hand retreats from the security call button. Ah, yes, I see. You've been put down

too long, pushed to the back for too long. And now you're ready to turncoat, as it will, to change the lines. Precisely. And then Axelisle sits down in the chair and props his feet up on the desk. Let me give you a few my bonny fidoes.

I got this hatchet man It's an incredible tool I have Better than average strength Pretty moist All the time Can breathe in almost in an environment Super hiding super exfiltration

He's typing this all in Yeah Really comfortable in outdoor environments In the dark No problem And what level Don't have teeth Okay

I'll please be conscious around like Christmas gift-giving time. Okay. Hot to tear open packages. No hard, well, no hard candies. Okay. Or like. I suppose my follow-up question

is what level of crime? Are you comfortable committing? Green Hill Zone. Oh, my. A little bit of a joke. I'd rather not maim the innocent, you know?

I don't really feel like I ever start of fire, that would feel weird. Okay. But other than that, I could do pretty much any crime, no matter how nasty it is, really. I mean, I'm pretty morally, I don't have morals, really. I do any sort of nasty crimes. I will, anything you need.

Basically, I'm the worst person, I know, and I'm not even a person. And will you be operating as Axeliel or as Scots Crom a lot? So I've got a new thing that I've been trying to do. I've got a new identity that I'm trying out. Okay, hit me. Okay. Max O'Lyle. Ooh.

It's a new rebrand, kind of an all-leather, black. You know what I'm saying? Do you pick up what I'm sort of... Like a leather mask as well? Like a all-lather. Every inch. Leather, leather, leather, leather. You red, leather, yellow.

leather, red, leather, yellow, leather, red, leather, red, leather, yellow, all over. All right, covered. Hoof to snout, and I got neither, all right? Okay. Full on, full black leather, maxalotto. Maxaloddle. Can you imagine it? Yes, he sounds pretty cool. And in a way, I have more of a thing, listen.

Oh, okay. He's my brother. What? So when people are like, seems pretty suspicious, I'll say, indeed it does. He was supposed to be in. jail. That's my brother Oh, an evil brother, yes, excellent. Goodbye story. I don't know if you've got

any of those going around right now. I don't want to step on any hooves or webbinges or whatever. Well, we have an evil cousin and an evil sister. Yeah, but no evil brothers. This is actually, this will feel

a good slot. Okay, well, I've taken down your information and I'll put you into the Rolodex, so to speak, and you'll be hearing from us, Max O'Lotto. Well, that's not going to do it, right? So I've got cold feet. Again, I don't, but you, metaphorically speaking,

my feet are moist and maintain a pretty solid temperature. And I'm technically feet, I guess, anyway, listen, man, I need to do crimes right now. I'm going wild for it. I think if I don't do a crime soon, I'm just going to go wild. The evil's building up inside me. I've just started doing evil stuff for no reason. Yesterday, I went to my grandma and I knocked a sandwich.

She had worked really hard on right on their ground. Oh, I'm going to put that in your file, actually. Yeah, so you understand, man. I want to put this evil to good use. I just don't want to go around messing up people's day. I want to make something destructive, something with an impact. Hmm. Okay, well, I could get you started working. Let's see.

What's the holdup? You tell me, what can I do to knock some of these pylons out of my way? Let me plow into this church. Well, you do seem to be sort of like a water-based kind of villain. I could maybe add you in with E.O Patrick Harris and Hammondead and Squidmark. Do you know them? I don't know if I should say I do or not. Okay.

It's cool. Well. Hold on, I'm thinking. Yeah. A little bit. Off and on. Okay. One of them.

Well, I could add you to their lineup and see. They like me. Whichever one I know is a big fan. Don't ask. Okay. And then we could, you know, work your way up to maybe doing your own jobs. Well, I'm not. I tell you.

I'd love to get a little face time with the boss, if I could, just to sort of work out some of the lowercase jays and cross T's and what have you. Oh, well, I don't think that will be possible. The boss is very busy and... I could do a crime to you. Excuse me? I can do a crime to you. I feel one building up. Is that a threat?

It's not a threat. It's an entreaty. It's a cry for help. I'm going to do a crime. I can feel one. I can feel a crime. His hand starts moving back towards the... You're not going to need that to help you.

You won't help. Can I please just meet Clamptial in one time? I'm going to be a huge fan. No, I... I am... All right. Tell you what. Sorry.

My name is Crilliam. I use the suit. name Clangula to arrange these meetings. So you are clam. Okay, so you get it. I'm going to keep my voice down because I'm assuming the whole

clam thing is incognito. Yes, just as you're Maxillotto. Who? Exactly. My brother's name is Maxelotto. Wink. Are you okay? Yes. No, I have very large shrimp

eyes. All right. Yes. So I have to say wink. I don't have eyelids. And it's a podcast. Listen, do you think there's any chance that I might be able to meet the big guy? I'm certain I don't know what you meet. The big guy upstairs, you know. God? I'm sorry, but I believe that this first meeting is over. If you will please leave the premises.

Oh, come on. Give me what I need. Come on, just tell me. I mean, Justin, that's such a convincing argument. Yeah, come on, please. Come on now, I need it. I don't want to get you in trouble, but I will. And then I press the speaker button on the phone.

Oh, okay. So now we're silent because if we talk, it'll go all out over the whole bank. So now it's a show. He's not the principal of high school. It's a silent podcast showdown. Okay. Have we heard the walriss's voice?

I don't think so. Hmm. So, all right. What Axel Isle is saying with his eyebrows that he doesn't have is, hey, I'm going to tell everybody that you're clamula, unless you will introduce me to the walrus. Mm-hmm. Well, Crillium doesn't have eyebrows. What he's saying with his antenna is that's not possible. That's not going to happen.

But please also don't tell anyone I'm clammed to low. That's great. These are two really, really solid argumentative positions you guys are holding up right now. So mine boils, if I can recap kids, because in case your kids got lost in this sort of plotting. What Axel Lila is saying is, please tell you. me. Yeah. And what Clamchel is saying is, I don't want... Yeah. So he's...

Yes, and also, Axelial is... I want you. I want Clangela too, but Clamchola doesn't want me to. Right. Because mine would move mine forward. Right. Right. And that's not... And Axelial is saying I'm extorting you and Crillium is saying, I'm not giving you the thing you want, but also don't extort me. Please don't. Please don't. All right. I take my finger off the button. Well played.

Why can't you tell me about the walrus? Be... If I did have some connection to someone named Walrus, which I'm not saying I do, you already told me your clam tool. Why are you playing... Well, then I would get in an extreme amount of trouble, right? Just like if I told everybody your clamtola, right?

Okay, so you're asking, like, who I'm more afraid of getting in trouble with? Yeah, and I'll give you head. It should be the person in the room with you. All right. And then I just shut the lights off. Whoa. Because I have night vision. Do we know that tramps don't?

We don't think they have eyes. I think that's where we're at right now. When you shut off the lights with your night vision, you are able to see well enough to see that he is fumbling on the desk for the security call button. Sorry, Travis, can I just clarify? Is there a window to where, like, the light is streaming? No, this is a very private office. Okay, it's a very private office.

Okay. I got to grab Klandjula in a three-quarter Nelson. A three-quarter Nelson? Yeah, a lot of people think it's illegal still, but you're absolutely allowed to if the moment arrives or you have to. Okay. Roll 3D8 for me. Okay, so that's Cowbunga.

5-5, Calbonga. You get him fully in a three-quarter Nelson before he's able to push the button. he is panicking. Now listen, if I apply the last quarter, you're going to be in a heck of a lot of discomfort here. So why don't you come sit in this chair and tell me everything I need to know? I can't see the chair.

Oh, okay, so I'll lead. I'll lead. Krillium over to the chair. Sorry, sorry. That was rude. Oh, thank you. Are you going to put Krillium in the other chair? and I'm going to sit in Krilliam's change.

That's awesome. Power move. Yeah. Are you going to kill me? No. Oh, okay. No, you're fine. Listen, I just need to do some crime.

You see how wild I am. I've tried to do three or four crimes to you, and I don't know why. I'm feeling really, I'm hoping this is what I need, because I'm feeling really lost and freaked out right now. where I'm at in my life. And I'm just desperate to do some crime, and I'm desperate to meet walrus, because I think that the walrus,

they might see something. You know, me, that it's raw, and they can mold and shape. Okay, so I'm going to say, Krilyam is extremely panicked, sitting here in the dark, and he is fairly cowardly, all things can be it.

I'm also coming at Krilyum from every possible emotional anger. Yeah, you really are. I've not left anything. You've got him all spun around and all... He's like emotionally a wreck. Guys, I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I'm so torn.

I was listening to Natasha Pier and the Great Common at 1812 before I came on here. And I'm an emotional hurricane, okay? I don't know where I'm at. I don't know my head from my hind in right now. So, roll for me 4D8 to see how this plays out. I'm going to add a time to shine dice. Okay, so 5D.A. So 5D.8.

And let me mark it on my little... I have a sheet that I keep... Travis always marks mine for me. Will you mark mine for me, Traff? Yes, I will. Here he goes. It's 5D8. Wow, that was lucky that I did that because I got three failures and two successes, a six and a seven.

Okay, on two successes, he says, okay, you've proven you're capable of great crime, and you are quite unpredictable in a very scary way. I will set up a meeting for you with the walrus, and I'll let him. figure out how to handle this. The meeting will be at River City First headquarters. I'll let you know when I'll email back by end of day tomorrow. All right. I have one more stipulation. Oh, boy.

I'm going to slide a note across the desk to you. Okay. and if you do not read this note verbatim, I will be forced to reveal your identity. The lights are still off, so I can't. I will flip the lights off. Oh, thank you. Okay.

Is it keyboard operated? What's going on? Are you having to... I believe Justin's sending me the note. All right, here you go. Here's a note. Here's a note. I'm going to flip the light on,

and then I'm going to disappear the moment you start reading. Oh, my, it's so bright. I wish I had eyelids. Oh, give me a second to adjust the light. Okay. And do you want me to read this into the speaker? Verbatim into the speaker. Let me...

Oh, this is my phone number. Can you text me about wearing it... Oh, yes, yeah. I'll text you so you have my number, too. That's great. You put me in his maxel aisle, though, remember? Okay, yes. Can you put me in his plan?

Just... Oh, sure, yeah. No problem. Thanks. You prefer me to put your... Okay. All right. I don't want my real name.

Now, are you ready? Yes. Go. Hey, everybody. It's me, the big boss. Wow, crazy times, huh? Anywho, everything is totally normal. For the minute or so, I suppose the next minute.

Next minute or so, close your eyes and your ears. I love you. What do we see out in the line? All right. All right. I think you guys know your key. You got one minute exfurtry. I'm 10 feet from the front door as the crow flies with no suss on me whatsoever.

I'm fine. I made it even easier. Can you imagine? Yeah, you see everybody kind of shrug and be like, okay. And so like the sidebot that was with you, the teller closes their eyes, Todd Johnson is unconscious from the powerful fart that dad let out. And everybody's doing it? Yeah, he's the boss.

Okay, then I take a bunch of money. In fact, Travis, one million dollars. From the bank, they keep it. They keep it in the bank manager's office. They let me back there, remember? I'm behind the teller window. I'm in the bank manager's office. Yeah, but the vault is still sealed.

There's cash lying around in big piles everywhere. I've seen the bank. Yeah. Everybody has their eyes and ears closed. I'll say this. I steal a million dollars. You can steal without trying to break into the vault. you do see in the storage room

ready to grab just bags of free lollipops. Deal. Okay. Better than nothing. You drive a hard bargain. Everybody making their way out? Safety pops or regular?

Yeah, no, they have the loop. Yeah, they have the loop tangle. I say, uh, that's better for me because with the no teeth. Yeah. So good luck with the water. You guys got to get those pipes checked. Uh, and I'll scoot out the front door.

Um, and Roger and Artie. come bursting out of the stinky IT office make their way through the lobby. The only thing that slows Roger down is he tries to take a pin and does it pretty funny. Whoa! Oh, because of the chain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he makes his way out the door. When you exit the door. I take all the pins. I can grab two on the way out just to show him his boss. They are chain. Oh, okay. You see three pins on chains, but the chains aren't attached. I have huge muscles, though, so I'm just going to yank them off.

That's cool. Don't do this. Don't do this. By the way, kids, all this theft and stealing, don't do this because crime is wrong. I mean, banks are insured and not your friend. That's the message. Hey, kids. Hey, kids.

Banks are insured. Stealing's okay if the victim is insured. Right, okay. Yeah. I mean, if they take tons of money from people. Anyway, they would steal your money without a second thought. Okay, you reach the outside. and as you clear the door, Roger,

you begin to feel strange. Oh. You're smelling not farts, and you don't know what to do. Hey, look. Oh, look, look, look at that vacuum cleaner. Oh, that vacuum cleaner. It's dancing. It's doing a jig. Oh, my. And Roger, what? Roger collapses. Yes, he has lost his coordination. He is stumbling,

and he collapses before you. What? What? What? Roger? Are you conscious? Roger. Roger's not conscious?

You've just completed this exaltration, but Roger has collapsed before you. Speaking gibberish, uncoordinated. What do you do? I scoop them up. Scoop him up in my arms, my big burly arms, and take off for our, you know, our Honda Civic or whatever, Hyundai Allantra with a robot ball on it. to get out of here. Uncle Tenoos,

oh, I love you so much. When you reach your car, Navy, your phone starts to buzz. Yeah. I'll put it on speaker. Yep, you got Navy. Hello? Yes, hello.

It's Dr. Travis Barker. You know, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I've, yep. Have you completed? We're waiting for you here at JJ August's house. Okay, we're just, we're literally just walking away from the mission.

We have not even had a chance to debrief and we have a man down So can I call you back? What happened? Was someone injured? I don't... It's Roger. He just kind of like collapsed.

I don't know. It's weird. We got to get him to... I don't know. How long has it been since he had his Mucely X? I don't know. I don't keep track of that for it. Does he have any on him?

I've got to search his pockets. You find a bunch of like Lent and stuff he's picked up and things that he clearly thought would be important. Roger, where's your... Roger, listen, where's your Mucely X? In a white room with black curtains. He said the Musilie X is in a white room with black curtains. Do you know what that means, Doc?

Yes, it's Dr. Snarf's office. I'll have Dr. Snarf meet us here. Hurry. Hurry. All right, let me call the plane. The what? I just thought maybe we had a plane that I forgot. Where would it land?

We're in the middle of the city. Vitol. Vitol. Vitol. Vitol. I knew we didn't have a veto. No, I just want to... Well, we do have...

We have Neil. Is that our Vez transfer? Is that our Vez transfer? It's calling Neil to give us a ride. We have our car. We can drive our own car. Dean, sorry, not Neil, Dean. Where did we park? I guess it would be here, right? You're proving your key fob.

It's like three cars down from the doorway of the bank. Yeah, not discreet. Yeah, I want to get in the car and gun it for, JJ August's house. I assume they sent us a pen. Yes, they've given you the address. You make your way to JJ August's house. You arrive at the same time as Dr. Snarf,

who runs up with the bowl. You must eat. You need to eat, Roger. He's not responding. Hold his mouth open. All true. All true. He taught me about cud once.

All right, let me hold him up. I'm going to keep him elevated shortly. he doesn't get choked. I'll spray a little bit of water in his mouth to help with the digestive process. It's got to be saliva. It's got to be saliva. Okay, here comes the train into the station.

Help him chew. Help him, listen. Time out. Time out on everything ever. If I have to keep hearing that noise, I will leave. I don't want to hear dad as a cow being forced to eat cereal by six hands.

It's the worst sound I've ever heard in my whole life. If I have to hear it anymore, I will outside of continuity quit this show. Dad specifically requested this exact scene playout. It's really dramatic. Travis, listen,

I have these script pages that he sent over. Okay, I know. I have it, all right? I'm saying I'm not comfortable with the foley. And I shouldn't, I'm a professional, I shouldn't be forced,

I can't take the head phone, would you rather we add it in in post? Yeah, no, the kids shouldn't have to hear that either. Yeah, okay. It should be banned. Okay. How's this?

Mm, numby, numby, numbing, numbing. That's better. Way worse! It's better. Okay. Nomi, numby, numby, numby. My mistake. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh, hello. Everyone. Why are you looming? Roger, when you joined the team and filled out this sort of, like, medical, like, background paperwork, you did not include on there that if you don't eat this special cereal at regular intervals, you'll die. And I feel like, and that's, we can accommodate that for sure, but it's good for us your best pals and co-workers to know this kind of stuff.

Well, I must admit, I was so into the character of Wink Martin Whale. I just lost track of Roger. You blacked out in the booth, it happens, but you gotta let us know. No secrets, nothing to be ashamed of. I also like... I was going to say family, but that seems like an overreach. We are, though, co-workers and acquaintances. Yeah. Gentlemen, I...

Ooh, I have kind of a... Nightmare of a mouth, a nightmare mouse? Silly kind of taste. A nightmare sound hole. from which no joy could ever escape again. Well, yes, it's me. Dr. Starf, yes, in order for you to be able to chew the BC-E-E-Ex, a Navy SEAL spit in your mouth a lot.

Oh, dear God. That's so awful. That's so heinous, and I hate being a part of it. To save your life. On that one, it was me, because I said it had to be saliva. And I just decided that. I didn't have to. And now we zoom into the house.

It's five minutes later. Zoom into my bank account. It's empty. Everybody canceled everything. Nobody likes us anymore. When you reach the front door, Dr. Travis Barker, aka Lovelace, opens the door for you. Yes, come in, come in, come in.

Do you have any, this dream, or... I have a Lawsoncheman's friend, if you want to switch that around. Yeah, let me have a Lawson. Hey, no, no, no worries. I got a lollipop. Oh, wow, holy crap. Where did you get all those?

Yeah, no biggie. I'd rather not say pretty sure. It was a federal car. These all have bank logo on them. Yeah, not for a long. Is that pineapple? Do you have a pineapple? Right, I slurp the logo off all of them.

They're clean. How dare you give Dad a hard time about his mouth fully? Yeah, right. Seconds later, slurp on a lollipop. And mine is brief enough that you know I'm in on the joke of how bad it sounds. In addition to that, giving dad taking $4,99, $4,99. And then you wanting to steal a million and it's cool? Free candy?

Free candy. That's what I'm told. Yes. Please, join me here in the first. Look. Well, I feel that we need to talk to somebody. Maybe bring another person in here. And JJ August is at the table.

Oh, hey, what's up, JJ? Oh, hi. Welcome to my home. I see you didn't take your shoes off at the door. That's fine. Have a seat. We actually came. straight from a job. Do you mind if I use

your seal toilet? It's just a regular toilet. Do you need a special toilet? Do you have an actual? Do you have special toilet? We need to use your seal toilet, your exilato toilet, and your cow toilet. Can we use those real quick? I hope it's

the same as regular toilets because that's all we have. But yeah, if you want to take a quick take a quick 10-1. Okay, because Travis is unwilling to engage with this, I will take over briefly as the Z-K. Cool. Okay, yeah, please.

It's amusing. If I could just have like one moment. Yeah, okay. All bathroom related, though, don't overstep. Yeah. Just as, this. Um, Griffin, you open a door to the turlet. And that is the what every toilet is in the animal's world.

It is an incredible, incredible, multi-prong, multi-armed toilet solution. Cool. It is, has at least 16 holes. Yeah. For the really, really nice models. Sprayers galore. fragrances, it will put out, like spread out bedding and then scoop up the bedding, like hay.

It has several aperture settings. There are aperture settings, yeah. Cool. And that's the turlet, and that's what everybody in the animal world is able to put something in here. Sweet. That's what it says on the gold embossed logo. Awesome.

Outside, it says everybody in this world can put something in here. I'm glad you seized control for that. Okay, it's five minutes later. All right. Now we're, I think, now I think we're ready for the big, the big, the big reveal. I don't actually know what you all called us here for. And Lovelace takes off the Dr. Barker Mask. Well, here's the thing.

I think it's, it's important. I look over at JJ, just out of curiosity. Oh, she knows. Just like, okay, yeah, I thought so. She's freaking out. No, she's. And I think we might need a little help. And you hear the front door open.

and a man comes in and he has a big bushy beard and shark glasses and he's got a cabby hat on. And he's like, oh, hi, I'm, hello. And JJ says, this is my stepdad, um, Stan. And he says, oh, yeah, Stan people. It's nice to meet you. Stan, you're among friends. Which member of the Green Bank Guardians are you? Oh, I don't, uh, and he looks at everything, sees loveless, unmasked.

And he's like, oh, okay. It's cool? Okay. And he takes off his big bushy beard. Wow. And he is sunglasses. What? And his cabby hat.

Wow. And seeing before you is Newton, the party boy of the Greenback Guardians. Hey, what's up, dudes? I grab the nearest bag and start breathing into it in and out very quickly. All right. You think that's good. Check this out. And Axelot grabs the bottom of his face.

It just like tugs for like five seconds No, I'm just kidding I was so in it, dude Can you imagine though? I was so ready It would have been so mute Hey, so sweetie, why am I Is he if you hear anything about Max O'Lyle

He's talking to JJ August Sweetie why I'm glad you got friends over Do you want some pizza rolls or something You want me to make some What's going, what is What's all this about fellas? I would slam some pizza rolls Oh sure, let me put some pizza rolls in the oven

I just want you to know Are you asking Remember the Greenback Guardians to make you peatules? He offered, and it's rude to say no, I'm... Fair play. Every personality quiz I take, I always, I do get caught, I'm always sort of more of a carver,

but I think of myself as a Newton Rising. And it is honoring me, your carefree attitude is a light in the darkness for me in a lot of my worst moments. Oh, well, yeah, any friends of my little June, July over there, or friends of mine? And you see JJ say, oh, stand, don't. There's no, hold on, there's no way that's what JJ stands for.

Yeah, my mom, May, August, named me. These names are so good, trap. I'm so, I'm so into it. Okay, all right, so, okay, how much does everyone know? At this point, when you ask that question, Newton says, like about making piece rolls, dude, or like how much? I just got here. Okay.

I'll start. Crillium is Clambula. Oh. And Clamjula is part of it. Clamjula is sort of a go-between for the walrus. And we've got a face-to-face. I managed to line up the details of what should be coming through any moment. Okay.

Cool. And what's the... And Lovelace interrupts this is. I hadn't gone to tell my friends yet. I just wanted to pass that along. And you could know, too. I thought I'd be very excited for it. Hey.

Incredible work. I heard it all. You really leaned on Crillium in a way that was threatening, but not over the top. And that is a really tricky needle to thread. And I think you did it superbly. And Lovelace, Transton, and says, Newton, The walrus has carver. and Newton drops the tray of frozen pizza rolls he was about to put in the oven.

Oh, I'll get that. Let me help you with that. Oh, yeah, sorry, dudes. He's a car for okay. I mean, he's a big strong turtle, man, so I mean, he's probably holding up better than the average bear. My apologies. Tortoise man, and so he's probably hanging in there stronger than the average bear, but time is of the essence.

We've been trying to get a move on with this thing. Okay, yeah, let's go get him, dudes. What are we doing, Santer-A? Where is he? We don't know. He's with the walrus, and we're trying to make contact with the walrus. That was what we just did. And so it sounds like we're going to get an email here just any second. Okay, well, you said you had scheduled a face-to-face with him, right? So where?

That's where Carver is? Let's go. Where did you schedule? Where's the meeting? I'm waiting. The details would be coming through. But he told you that it would be at River City First, HQ. Okay, it'll be, when it finally happens, it'll be at River City First HQ.

Ah, Shell no. What's wrong with that? Well, it's... When they did River City First HQ, they repurposed Dr. Kildas' like, you know, secret headquarter base. That plays the fortress, dude. You obviously have not been following our exploits. There's no such thing as a fortress.

to us. I do want to, I want to boost us and say that we can do whatever we put our minds to. Absolutely. I do think that this particular one is going to be difficult to fart our way into. So if you guys have any advice on how to get in there, I mean, it sounds like we'll have an invitation. So walking in is not going to be a problem.

Getting Carver and getting out, that will be, I imagine, considerably trickier. Well, if farts are off the table, yes, let's hear their input. Whoa, dude. Farts are never off the table. I would never tie your hands behind your back like that. You have a set of skills that make you unique, and that's powerful. Thank you. And Nudon turns to Lovins and says, well, dude, why don't we just go straight to the source, man? And Lovins says, I, that I think might be a little trickier than we want, Newt.

What are you talking about? Well, just go get, like, the layout and the blueprints from Dr. Kildeth. But that's... Why would Dr. Kildeth be willing to volunteer those shows? Oh, he's an old friend of ours at this point, man. Dr. Kildeth is a friend of yours. Well, once he retired, dude, he really chilled out. You fought him a lot, though.

Yeah, but at this point, he's totally chill. I mean, Lamar lives with him. Oh, wait, am I supposed to... Am I allowed to say that? You're... Lamar's alive too? Yeah, dude. Well, you know, he's pretty messed up, like, after the team broke up and everything.

So he's been, you know, living in Dr. Kildas' poolhouse. You got to understand. The rest of us sort of went within the span of, oh, how long's it been a few weeks' time, thinking that you all had beefed it to now knowing all of you all are alive and living secret lives. Oh, sorry, man. Do you need something like lemonade or like a ginger ale or something? I just want to, I mean, I mourned you, dude. Oh, bummer.

I went to the big... The world mourned you. We went to the wake that they threw for all four of you when they came out. We didn't say we were dead, dude. We just disappeared. Why? Why did you guys go dark? Well, that's a long story, dude.

And it starts like this. Wait. long because we do need to get to this place. All right, I'm like 10 to 15 minutes. Perfect. All right. Okay. And I'm going to tell it right now.

After this episode break. Oh, wait. There's a bit more here. Okay, everybody. Thanks for indulging me. You can go back to doing whatever you were doing. Banks are so wild if you think about it, huh? Why are we keeping all the money here when there are people out there who really need it out

there? Gosh, really makes you think, huh? Anyhow, everybody gets a 10% raise. Great note, Justin. I really loved reading it. I'm actually sad. There's no more of it to read. There's such an inspiration to me every day.

Wow, what a hero. XOXO Gossip Girl. Maximum Fun, a worker-old network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.