The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 2: Museum Showdown!

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

An unexpected figure appears from the shadows to fight Navy Seal, Ax-o-Lyle, and Roger Moore. With no real chance of defeating him, will they at least impress him? Krilliam performed by Paul Foxcroft: https://www.twitch.tv/questingtime Abminals Theme by Justin McElroy, Eric Near (https://bit.ly/ericnearmusic) and Jonathan Coulton (https://www.jonathancoulton.com/). Additional Music in this Episode: "Instrumental Sontagsfaherer" by Patrick Steel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqee4AUSj6Jocrsr-uDEAmA; "Metal Goat" by Midnight Commando: https://midnightcommando.com/; "Flipping In" by Wax Lyricist: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/wax-lyricist/; "Heartache" by Beat Mekanik: https://linktr.ee/beatmekanik; "Neo Soul", "Mindsweep," "Chi Town Funk," and "Gearing Up" by Mr. Smith: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSk2j0fTMw9V94UGyfWrSuA?; and "The Drama" by Rafael Krux: https://www.rafaelkrux.com/#/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

As spite of what you have heard, we're at the height of our powers In top of the Tulleson Towers, We'll never stop us now. We're at the future, and we will do it with me much, until it's turning out just like to play. The final way sell wrong. It's long, but our mojo is strong, and unless I'm wrong, and I'm not, we're at the height of our power.

As the commercials for toys and serial fade, we're back in, to Abnambomals. And we see Axel Lyle and Roger Moore a Navy SEAL preparing to square off against one of the four greatest Abnamal Heroes River City has ever known. He was attempting to steal back his own signature weapon, Slugger, when y'all decided that that would not fly with you. Crime is crime, I guess, as far as you're concerned. And so Lyle grabbing, I believe, Lovelace's chain three. through it to hook said baseball bout. And now you guys are prepared to engage in some good old-fashioned fisticuffs. But before doing so, Carver did remove his jacket, feeling that he is heavily armored

and not just in a tortoise kind of way with shell and plating on his chest, but with a hexagonal mesh armored down his arms and down his legs. and he is pumped and ready to go. I'm going to say because you instigated Axel aisle, you are up. I'm also going to say just for fair play, so no one's like, wait a minute. He is, you know, there's not really levels in animals, but this would be like a level one squaring off against like a level 18 person. It's such a bad idea.

I do not remember signing off on the Let's Fight the Legendary Hero Play. So he has four armor. So unless I'm mistaken, the only way you guys are going to be able to get hits on him is with eights, which cannot be blocked. Got you. Got it. So you are up,

Wyle. Yeah, man. I've been waiting for this moment all week long. I have exactly the move that's going to bring his downfall. I can't wait. So, are there any guns near me? No. Okay.

Nowhere. Was the move? Have a guns far away. Shoot him? Shoot the turtle with a gun? I didn't remember asking if there were guns nearby that I could shoot him with. Do you mean like in the world, like in like a global sense, are there guns nearby? I mean, I know there's like a gun store that he tried to.

Yeah, it's probably somewhere. But no, ask him to wait. River City hasn't sunk so low that there's just like guns. Lugged in with like old like rappers I couldn't get one like Instacarded No you don't see like a tumbleweed

made of pistols rolling down the aisle You know like no I remember the last thing I was going to do Was push the Light Paul over Did that what happened? No that happened right now You're holding the end of a chain

And the other end of that chain is attached to a hook Which is on the baseball bat slugger So he's holding slugger at the base in the end so he's kind of holding it horizontally and I wrap it yeah I'm just gonna jerk the bat out of his hand and pull it into

my other hand okay give me we're gonna do like a contested kind of I imagine this will be a challenging rule for myself yeah he's gonna roll 48 because this is his signature weapon and he's quite strong he might beef it

oh no that's four successes yeah he rolled four successes So now it's your turn. So what do I roll, Trev? I'm going to say that because you have anything's a drum, you can roll 3B8s with your improvised chain. Okay. So the best you can do is kind of mess up.

Yeah. Okay. So it's going to be tough to pull this off. Yeah, but not impossible. You could always cowabunga. No. Okay, so I got a one and an eight, good, and a four. Bad.

Tell me, is the actual allow I wearing gloves? Is Axelial wearing gloves? Well, hold on, then we refer to the carrier documents. Check your gloves. Stap block. Check my gloves. See, I was just kind of opening that up to you for flavor. Yeah, but he either does or doesn't.

I'm looking at him. He's a man, and he has gloves. He's not a man. He's an Ex-A-Law. But yeah, he's got gloves. Okay, excellent. Just roll me a D-20, just like kind of as a luck check. and if it's below 10, that's bad luck.

10 or below. 17. Okay, excellent. So with 17, in pulling that, it activates within the chain, the copper wire that's woven around the chain as it goes. So an electrical charge goes through it like a taser. But luckily, your gloves are insulated enough. I mean, you're out there working in fires and swinging your axe around and stuff.

So luckily, there's enough insulation that it doesn't. not tase you. Great. Sounds like a win to me. Now he knows who he's messing with, though. You can't say, can't say that's not true. And Carver says, oh, excellent use of the charge in the taser chain. Didn't think you knew about that.

Okay, who's next? I just, man, I just had to make sure you were the real guy. Oh, no, we're in it now. Who's up next? No, you've proved, you've, I'm convinced, man. You've proven it to me. You're the dude. Okay, now you convince me

Okay So who's up next He's kind of like looking around waiting for the next The next attack, who's going next? Is this like a test? Are you testing us? Are you reforming the crew? I chop my left arm off.

Holy shoot. What? Yeah, you heard me, Trave. He said, now you convinced me. So what I did there was I chopped my left arm off with my axe. Okay Um

It's like not It's like not a big deal for him What are you doing? Hey man You said you wanted us to convince you Well here we go Here's my skill set What are you trying to defense me of

Hook chains Now watch this HUR Are you okay It takes him a minute It's worth it though Oh no It's like a little baby hand coming

What the Oh, no. Oh, Boise. I'm not wild about that. I mean, I kind of am. I'm not going to lie. That's wildly impressive. Look at it, wiggling around. Look at that. That's going to be full strength.

Give it 12 hours. I'll be back ready to use both these babies. How often can you do that? Is that like a great trick, but I can only do it once kind of thing? Well, here's the thing. I'm in pretty good shape if I only lose one at a time. That's an easy fix. I'll lose more than that.

I can come back from it, but the noise it makes... It's tough to come back from, honestly. Let me ask you something. If you were to be split perfectly down the center, like to the atom, which half regrows? So, right. So this is interesting, right? It's my brain.

And my brain controls all of it. This is the whole centerpiece. You'll hop that by the point and half. We got a roll-up shop. There's no. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's the last show. Are you sure we wouldn't get two Axeliles,

one of which would be good at math and one of which would be good at spelling? Let's just, let's just, hey, let's just say there used to be an axo-grig. So in you chopping off this thing, the chain has gone. My arm. This thing. It's my arm. Your arm. Justin, can I tell you?

I think my brain rebelled against the visual. It's now just an item on the ground, Justin. When you chop an arm off, can we just say like it immediately withers to dust? Nope. That's yours, by the way. You keep that. I'm good. I'd love for you to have this garbage.

He's going to then step to take a swing at Roger. Roger, what did you do? That didn't work to diffuse at all? He stepped away from you. I'll pick my arm off the ground. Because I'm not an Ethan. You know what I mean? I'm going to find a trash can in your book.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is important. Maybe you see, like, they have a trash can, a recycling can, and, like, body debris from fights. Yeah, I think people don't pick up their dog do, dude. This seems worse than that. Yeah, man, I agree. Compost. Plus, if I leave it lying around, it increases the chances that I'll be cloned.

Yeah, which you've got to be careful of with Barker innovations. So he's telegraphing this swing at you, Roger. So what do you do? He's giving you, like, reaction time to see what you can do. Maybe. Yeah. Could you possibly give me a techno beat of some kind? Absolutely not.

Hold on. I reach into my, I pull out my phone, and I put on, I like, hold on, Spotify's being weird today. No butt. Griffin's pulled a no butt. No butt. have Spotify. Okay. Here we go. I turn on Sandstorm by Darrood. Roger does

Knight Fox Trot. When he hears a techno beat, he can do a fluid, acrobatic, tumbling dance like the French dude in Oceans 12. Oh yeah, exactly. The best, like, description of any sort of action. It's immediately evocative to anybody who remembers the M. Ocean's 12th. The French dude, yeah. But I need to hear some more. of that beat.

Dad, did you know this song actually has a name, and there's an artist that did it? I learned this recently. It's Derrude, and the song is called Sandstorm, and it's by Derrude. Derrude's a sandstorm it's called. Yes, it's a classic. We recently learned this. You might know Derrude's other works. Mailstrom. Yeah. Cyclone.

Cyclode. Mailstrom, Frozen Ever After, pretty much anything that's ever been in the Norway Pavilion is by the Vikings Fury. Vikings Fury is Derrude. Roger's very inspired then. Very inspired. Roll 4D8 for me. Okay, great. You rolled, you got two successes there. He got three successes. So he steps in your acrobatics are amazing. He gently like taps your tummy with the bat.

as he steps past and he's like, oh, that was good. That was close, man. That was nice. Okay, what about you? And he just comes charging at you, Navy, with his shoulder down, and he's about to gut-check you. Carver is the Raphael sort of. I'm sorry, I'm not familiar.

He's a hot-headed, abnimal loose cannon. I mean, that's what. And he wears kind of a burgundy mask, I would say. Yes. When Navy was on the Royal Seals, I think he. He fancied himself that role. He's a big burly dude. I think he's just going to try and stand firm and try to go toe to toe and just try to

hold him, sort of sumo style against this guy. I'm going to use bulky boy to use my enormous frame, which makes me hard to knock down. So I believe that's 3D8. That is 3D8. Two successes, 648. He got two successes. says this as well. So this is unstoppable force, immovable object

kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? So he hit, this is the rock and van Diesel both punching each other. Yeah, a shockwave comes out. Yeah, so you take one step back and he is stuck in his, like you're, you know, you're like maybe left foot shifts back like six inches.

Right? I try, I like grab his bicep as this happens, like, oh my gosh, yes, bro. Okay This is what I'm talking about What sorry, what are you talking about? Dreams Coming true

Okay You have a dream to grab my arm While I slam my shoulder in your gut I want to be you Oh boy Okay That's actually kind of nice man It is nice

Nobody's ever said that to me Okay and we're back up to the top And he's gonna step up to you Axelio but before he starts trying again, you forgot we were cool. You hear a him,

Carver, and he turns, and they're standing in one of the streetlights that is still operating is a renowned River City reporter JJ August. Oh, nice.

Are you getting, I pointed me holding the bicep and standing firm. Are you getting this? No, I'm not getting this. Carver, you're supposed to be, like, retired, right? Disappeared? What are you doing out here?

Oh, I, uh, hey, JJ, um, my bat was here. So I, um, you came to steal your bat. It's mine. I'm, and JJ turns to you three. Um, I'm, I'm, listen, I'm sorry about him. You guys can't tell anybody that Carver is, still like operating. You know that, right? It's lucky for you. He's lucky for him. You showed up

when you did, man. He was on the ropes. I believe we did have the upper hand. Except for Lyle, who only has one now. Oh, look, right here, man. That little nubbin. Oh, you go. Oh, yes. Check the nubbin. Right. Forgot. Oh, yes.

Wait, why are we This is a, this is the most exciting day in animal hero recent history. Why would we not want everyone to know that Carver, the legendary beefcake, is back? Because I

promised the other ones that I wouldn't keep doing it. They're here? They're still alive? Well, I've already got, okay. I promised them I wouldn't. Okay, so let's leave it at that. But this was a good training

session, guys. Like, I like mixing it up You know what I mean? That was my whole goal, man I knew you could use a little freshen up Okay, let's go with that That sounds good

I do need to go before like cops Show up for but here And he hands you a card With an address written on it Why don't we keep like You know keep like sparring That felt good warm up You know it was nice

I'm gonna go Before word gets out Mom's the word Uh, bye. And he takes his back and he drops down into manhole west and disappears. So you're standing there with JJ. See you, bye, Dad. I mean, Carver.

He paused back up. What did you say? Said, buy Carver in a normal way. Ah, cool, dude. I gotta say, man, I feel like that guy really enjoyed violence in a way that I didn't love. He seemed to be getting really worked up. It's kind of an anathema, wouldn't you say? I don't know what that big word is.

J.J. Speak American, brother. Whoa, hold on. Is that what you want to own that? Like versus British. Oh, I can say. I think that's still okay. Yeah, as long as you're saying it to a British person, speak American, then it's fine.

Remember all the, they stole all this time? That's true. Sorry, JJ. Yeah? So you, you know about the Greenback Guardians? Um, yes, but I, um, okay, listen, um, we're going to say like journalist, interviewee confidentiality. So I can't really go into it. And neither should you guys, if you want, um, I could do like an exclusive thing about you guys.

that's like, this is the museum, you know? In exchange for keeping your mouth shut about Carver being here, I mean, that sounds like a totally fair and ethical trade. I would just as soon not be included in that. I do a lot of undercover stuff, so maybe if you want to make it look like these two were the big heroes, that's fine.

I'm in it for King and... Country. Nice. She says nice. Do you know how happy I am to be playing a character where he's supposed to make bad puns? It's great. Dad, I thought that was excellent. Yeah, it was a good one.

What about you? What was your name? Yeah, Axelio. Oh, from amphibophores. Yeah, I didn't, I've been talking a little bit, but I didn't realize I was muted because I had to do a big burp. I thought you were kind of giving me the cold shoulder, man. I wasn't loving it. No, just couldn't hear you because you're,

you muted yourself in real life, which this is. So, just a suggestion. Wait, I got to ask, man. My question is, it, it seems like a cover-up. I didn't think you journalists were, I didn't think that was your faith. Oh, so you're like a child or, uh, Like, sorry, I just, I don't know.

I'm just saying that profession has been unfairly sort of harangued for quite some time about ethics. You know what I mean? It didn't seem like you guys were the bad guys. This isn't a bad, what are you talking? Like, Carver is an absolute hero. Yeah. Well, why the cover up, man? Well, you know how your friend over here just asked me not to mention that he was here because he's, like, undercover?

Yeah. Maybe you could like extrapolate out that to Carver's situation, don't you think? Like Carver's supposed to be undercover in that no one's supposed to know he's still operating in River City. And if he was, maybe like there would be a big like, we've got to find him. He's a hero kind of deal. And that might make it, you know, a lot of pressure on the other three. Yeah? So just a suggestion.

On the headline, something like new exciting hero team saves day at museum. Heaps mouth shut about, you know. No, not that part. Heroes, right, like, heroes, strong. Heroes keep great secret. Strong. Strong seal doing just fine on his new team does not need or miss former colleagues. Even though there's only two of them.

Hero Axelotel loses arm, normal noises ensue. Wait, sorry, is this all still the headline? Yeah, well, this would probably be a deck or a subhead. Okay. So this is going to, the headline's going to take up about half the page, and then you get a subheading. Right. Okay. I'm not a cork user myself.

You're going to have to figure out the layout on your own. Oh, hey, thank you for acknowledging that I'm a professional journalist who's been working for 25 years, and I might be able to do it on my own. I appreciate that immensely. Thank you very much. It's just a suggestion. A lot of attitude there. A lot of attitude.

Sorry, that's kind of my thing. I'm, you know, a sassy, kind of, yeah, hardworking reporter type. You know what I mean? And what is the name of your team here? I don't recognize you guys. The Titanic 2. Oh, you're undercover.

Yeah. we're just friend we're just uh so do we not tell her we're do you want us to hide how deep does this go man i believe he's asking you dad yeah i am i am man i would i would suggest that all three of us should stay away from publicity what are you talking about i don't think she's going to put her name in the papes, man. Like, she, she seems to be not wanting to talk about any of this, I wouldn't think. I don't think this

is going to make the front page. Hmm. All right. Fine. We are the thrilling three. Nope. We're working on it. We don't have a name yet. We'll get back

to you. Do you have a business card? Yeah. And she hands you her business card. Do you not want to give us a business? this card? No, it's just, uh, you know, here in River City, there's so many abnormal teams kind of competing for the headlines. I try to be, limit the access, right? So that it's a little more organic or else I'm getting calls like,

hey, we're thinking about trying to do like a charity bike ride, front page news, right? That kind of thing. And how, how boring. I quickly, sort of mentally shelved the charity bike ride idea that I had to get some publicity going for our new outfit. Yeah, who would do a charity bike ride? Stupid. I've been thinking about a name. I want to run past you and you're in the media. So maybe you can help me out.

What do you think of the Beatles, but we spell it with an A because we beat people up. That's pretty good. Thanks, man. I've been working on it for a while. I've actually been sitting on it since the 80s. And what, how does that apply? Are you guys, oh, wait.

is an axolotl a bug? Are you a bug? Is that the thing? No one's quite sure. No, a beetle. We beat people up, man. What's not registering? I'm just, sorry, I'm not getting the, like, underlying, right?

Because there's, like, Monkey Mayhem and the Simian Six. Right. Right? And then there's the Royal Seals, right? And the dragon riders. So all of these are, like, they're animals. So it's like a play, you know. But we're a bunch of different types of animals.

Oh, that's wild We're like The other ones Oh, what about the zoo crew? The zoo crew is so good I kind of like the other ones Maybe et cetera Okay, well, do you want to join the team

And then you can have a vote on the name? Oh, no. I'm sorry, I have a full-time job Already and no Animal skills whatsoever But thank you very much. I appreciate the office I'm going to go back to the office and get this all typed up. Get this front page. Should I do a fold?

Do you? I see the cowman is inching away. Okay, but if we could get one, just one to have, just a pro shot, you know, for marketing stuff would be huge for us. If you could send a copy our way. Okay, cool. So you guys get in the light and cowman, you can kind of stand in the shadow, I guess? if you want. Does that make you more comfortable? Oh, you can still see me?

I am a master of disguise. Wait, hold on. Dad, roll your master of disguise. Depending on how it goes, tell me what your disguise does. Okay. Now, I'm looking here. I don't see Master of Disguise as a skill. So give me two, you're going to be rolling abs. Give me a 2D8 roll.

An eight and a four. A mixed success. What is Roger disguised as? Roger places, he has a white domino mask that when he puts over his eyes, he can blend in with anything white. And there just happens to be the truck, which is white. Amazing. Just next to them. This picture is going to look so cool.

So he's just kind of just kind of, just kind of. presses himself up against the white truck and blends into the background, never to be seen until he reappears. Okay, so since it is a mix excess, I'm going to say it's a white truck, but very dirty, right? And you are very clean. So what you get is, yes, you definitely blend into the trunk, but, like, there's going to be conspiracy theorists who are looking at this for years. Like, there's a ghost. I swear to God, you guys, there's a ghost in this photo. If you look really close as it goes.

She snaps that picture. She's like, wait, I want to get wet. I get in the phone. I get a little bit wet because it looks better. And I can't all wet. Lyle, can you make that arm grow out just a little bit? I'm going to turn myself. Oh, good.

So I have a good one, you know, downstage. Are you ready now or? Are we smile? Hold on. Are we smiling or like, like, looking tough? I don't have much of a choice, man. look at my face. All right.

I just got the one setting. I'll do a big smile. Okay. Oh, no, I can't tell if you're smiling or not. Okay. And she snaps the picture. Should I, like, email it to, text it to you? We'll catch it on the front page of the Sunday edition.

Tremendous Trio at gmail.com. Get out of the front page. You hear some sirens in the background. There's been a lot of noise in this kerfufo, and it seems like it's time for you guys and JJ to part. I'm going to use manhole East. Yeah, I don't want to go down the same manhole as Carver. What if we run into him?

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Yeah, I don't know. I keep forgetting to order something. Probably just dinner. Anyway, subscribe to TV Chef Fantasy League and play along with us at home. Or just listen in as we cry over our baker's soggy bombs. On maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcast. So now where do you guys reconvene?

Like, where do the three of you? Like, what's your base of operations? It's a great question I've been thinking about because our bios... It also does occur to me that you guys took the manhole and left your... left your sensible car there. Oh, yeah. We'll pick it up tomorrow.

I don't want to mess with the cops. So I'll come around and grab it tomorrow. That job is hard enough, you know? Yeah. We respect the badge too much to make them mess around with us as beasts. There actually is no police presence here in River City. When Mayor Kildeth took over his first term, he just completely defunded it.

And that was when the River City First security forces, all part of the River City First business family, was brought in. And then, surprisingly, Killedath also invested a lot into community programs and spent a lot in community upkeep and things like that. Wow. We should have let him take control a long time ago. The times he used to try to take control, we should just been like, go for it. Go nuts. You know what I mean? Or go through the process.

Well, he's retired now. He was like the main foil to the Greenback Guardians. But this was not like the conclusion of a long-term plan that finally came to fruition, right? This is not like the lifelong, his like a supervillain goal the whole time was to take control of the city. Well, I'm going to say that you, Navy, since you were so closely following Carver's career and a big fan, you know that basically he started. as a city councilman and worked his way up to mayor and eventually even became governor for a short term and basically once he entered faced a lot of like bureaucracy and saw the corruption and he was like this is real villainy and ended up just like working really hard to

undo a lot of like the red tape and bureaucracy and whatnot in the government yeah cool Small government. Full day. I love it, man. What is our headquarters? Because we all are animals that live in pretty wildly different spots. Well, you said you had an idea. Do you have an idea, grow?

You know, I like a sunken situation as a coastal city, you know, a bodega or a, you know, some sort of restaurant that just sort of sank into the, sea that has some sort of tunnel access, a sunken subway station, maybe I like a sunken thing. That's as far as I've gotten. It can have wet stuff for the wet boys, but it can also have dry stuff for the dry boy. How about an abandoned sea lab just off the coast? So we're not going to go that deep. Here's what we're looking at. So basically there was a pier, I think like the Santa Monica pier, that had a pretty popular diner.

at one end of the pier. So popular, in fact, that it did eventually crack the supports. So now that end, that diner, is about half in and half out of the water. So if you're walking around eating at this diner, the water comes up to about your waist. It's still a business that's in operation, even though it's half submerged. It's so popular. They make the best melts. And for any wet boys, you can get that melt sloppy.

You know what I like, guys? I like if we aspire to having our own headquarters at some point. Right. But right now, we just have a diner that we like to. You have a favorite booth? There's definitely other people there. Oh, a booth is good. What about Jander's closet, like in the jerk?

Yes, fantastic. A little mattress on the ground. Yes. Whether or not it is our booth at the diner is up for debate. I got wet. Now, hold on. When we were doing, when we were doing, doing steeplechase. I feel like we had

like a back room and a functioning business. Maybe a booth is even better because it's like not ours and we have to order something. You do have to, we cannot just get water. We have to constantly order stuff. Yeah. So you're at your booth

here in the well sub-mariners diner. It originally was the Mariners diner. And now you can see that they've added the sub to it. And they sell subsaminer. sandwiches. Gotcha. Yeah, but they were doing that before. Now it's just a fun, it's just a fun tie-in.

And all the food is sub-quality. That's like one of their jokes that they use, but it's also kind of true. Yeah, because it's disgusting in here. Yeah, but it's so wet and salty and not hygienic. You're not supposed to have just a bunch of seawater. Your server, Amanda T. comes over, and she says, Yeah, what are you guys gonna have? I would like the Submariner Marinera sub, please.

Okay. What am I? I don't know you guys go out of order something. You know, you gotta order something. I'd like a mutiny, shaken nut stir. Is that just milk? Yes. Okay.

And you, Lyle? And you see, she gotta like, that's her long man. I'd see eyelashes at you. Nice. I love that. Hey, you had any worms back there. Frustations, balls.

You want some work? I'll find you for you a while. Anything. I'll find you some word. Great. If you can dig them up, I'd be happy to suck them up here. Okay.

Oh, one other little favor, if you don't mind. If you wouldn't mind bringing out some gravel, I do have to eat that with the food to help me digested. Yeah, of course. So just your regular?

Yeah, that's my classic. Yeah. Okay. If we... I order all my food on the rocks. If we do any action or adventure after eating, it's like working with a little Maraca.

And you guys are going to pay this time, right? No, no, put it on my cab stuff, right? Well, I'm sure in the future there will be some need for our services here. I thought we had kind of an agreement,

a special agreements that we would provide you protection. I mean, you are in kind of a serious situation. What are the dad, you cannot just decide we're in the mafia. Yeah, or create your own mafia.

Well, I wasn't meaning that. We would hate for something to happen. I'm a big guy in a suit. telling you, this is a real nice place you got here and I don't want to pay for my food. It's also hard to be like, it's a shame if something happened when it's half sunk in the ocean. Yeah, it's terrible.

Like, something did happen. Things break. Hey, listen. Diner's burned. There's a whole other half that could sink. That's all I'm saying. No, we've already got an arrangement with our fit before us because we're half in and half out. You know, so.

Well, we just finished a big job today. And I don't know how money is going to get to us for that. I was not the money guy on the Royal Seals. But I assume at some point we will receive money for the heroic museum defense we executed. Here, here, here. I have something that I think will set us square. And I hand her my arm that I have signed. Oh, man. Anything for a few. friend. Yeah, this is going to sell really well. Okay, thank you. Okay. What else it's going to do is smell really bad. So you're going to want to get that into a vase. Okay. You're going to want to get that into a vase, a sappy, you know what I'm saying? Okay. I sure will. Your fear will be out soon. Sorry,

did you guys want the food sloppy or where are you wondering? I mean, I think I just ordered a submarine sandwich with only marinera sauce on it. So I don't know what other mode. that could possibly take. Is this happy how you say that? I've never said it out loud and sounded off. Okay, she heads back into the kitchen. Yeah. Okay, so let's, I always enjoyed in my previous group,

doing a sort of debrief at the end of the mission just to give notes. One, the hand signals, I do, it is important that you all learn that stuff. when you execute those properly, I tell you, it feels good. You feel like a cool guy working with a super special team of good friends who don't, it's like beyond words, more than words, as extreme might say. Axel Lyle, you chopped off your body part once and sort of allowed other chops to happen. And I'm just curious sort of what the reasoning behind those. Right.

I was trying to show off my special skills. that. I thought Carver might be impressed. Of course, there's a great deal of pain that I was also didn't react at all. So I thought that might kind of wow him too, man, but I could see in hindsight, it was a little impetuous. And Roger, just in the future, maybe you carry your own music playing device on it so that in the middle of combat, you don't have to stop to ask someone else. It doesn't really work that way. I have to have the techno beat. It has to come from another. Theosaurus. I have, I don't have, I'm not really good with technology.

Okay. And I have an old Walkman. Can we have it, can we, next time, not this time, but next time I want to make Dad play a character that's actually very good with technology. Yeah, a hacker, now that you bring it up, I'm actually very good at this. This is actually my thing. That's kind of my area of expertise. Yeah, it's my big thing.

Amanda T. has returned with your meals. As she sets it down, she opts for, like, actual table level. So all of them are slightly submerged in water. No special race plates here. So that doesn't really affect the mutiny or the worms. But damn, that's a mariner, marinara is soaked. Can we make it? canon that anytime we eat, it is offensive to God at every...

Just like literally just face smash into table. I know my thing is rough. Yeah. But as you're all eating some pretty radical food, you can heal up. Some, I'm going to say, let's see, what is each of you having? I have no damage. Lio, you're going to pick up two, and Roger, you can pick up two as well. It's not the most radical food, but you like it.

Okay. Which one of you is most observant? I have bug eyes that allow me to be observant. Okay, yeah, give me a 3D8 roll. One success. Okay, with a mixed success, while you guys are committing these culinary atrocities as you consume your food, you catch out of the corner of your eye somebody very quickly like

get up from a table and leave. You didn't quite clock it but it very much gives you the feeling of waiting for you to start eating and then they slipped out while you weren't looking. Okay, so someone just got up from their table at this restaurant

and left. Correct. And he noticed that and I noticed that someone just left guys. Wait, come again? The way that they left though was not in a Chill manner. Someone left in a deeply unchill manner. Let's go get them. Get them.

Go bring them in for questioning. Can I look and see if they have like a plate with food? Like did they just leave their, did they just pay the check? Did they order? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did they, what's like remaining? What did they, what's left on the table? As you go over there, let's see what you can put together.

So some like investigation, right? So rather than perception, think of this is like you're trying to piece. together what has happened here. Okay. Okay. Are we all rolling? I got two successes. Yeah, we'll go with that.

With two successes, you can see that the table that they were sitting at as well-positioned to observe you guys. They were very close to hear conversation. There's no food on the plates that doesn't seem like anything is ordered, but what you do see is a lot of like twisted up straws kind of thing and like a lot of, a lot of lot of fitching occurred at this table. Wait. Plastic straws? Whoa. What? These are all biodegradable.

All right. Let's get this. Let's get this, dude. I, I, I, everybody all around as they're using the straws, they're all coughing and choking a bunch. Like, sorry, too far. Slot it. Slotted the straw. It's bad for me. Gotta remember. It's stuck in my nose again. Why? Why do we keep using these things? Um, hey, I'm gonna, we should, I think this is a weird night we're having, and we saw something we weren't supposed to see.

Someone's, my, my, my seal senses are tingling. We need to, we need to figure out who that was. Really? All right. Well, um, hmm, let me duck my head out. See what I see? Take a big roosty. Is it, wait, is it, dark outside. So this is the early morning. Like, the crime was happening around

like 3 o'clock in the morning. So at this point it's like 5.30 a.m., right? This is like breakfast at the diner kind of deal. So it is not full... It's not full... I would say it's, you know, early morning. You're on the seaside, right?

So the sunrise is going to start a little bit earlier. There's no buildings blocking the way. So there's some light. But also, where are you looking when you go out the door? Well, did he see what direction they went? No, I mean, he just clocked enough to know that they were like heading out, like, delining out all around?

Well, so if you remember, half of the restaurant is underwater and half is above. Okay. Well, were they sitting in water or were they sitting in dryness? Oh, they were sitting in water. Okay, well, I will swim into the water. to follow them. Okay, so this is going to be a pretty difficult kind of check. So what skills do you have that are going to help you hear?

Well, if I'm going into the water, that's a darkened environment. So I'll be able to utilize my nocturno sense. Okay, excellent. When not an active peril, I can use sound and chemical detection to understand more about my environment, enemies, etc. So hopefully in there, once in the darkened environment, I'll be able to pick up some clues. Okay, great. Yeah, give me...

It's not completely dark, so I'm going to say 3D8 on this one. 537. We rolled exactly the same. That's crazy. So with that, you detect heightened adrenaline, you know, excreted chemicals from someone that you would associate with, like, fear and nervousness. You can see, like, disturbed, like, seaweed, you know, that kind of thing, the mud in this. area with your like tracking and senses you get the feeling that this was like a smaller person but

the water is kind of obscuring any kind of sense that would let you on to a particular like animal or if it was fully human or anything like that but this was like a little nervous person is there a trail I can follow so I have that level of clarity since we matched on our role like I think you get the sense that they got some distance away from the diner and then turned back to land trying to cover their tracks, but past there, you lose them. Well, that was weird. Could you tell what kind of animal it was or anything? Little.

I think Roger wants to look down at the table that had been left by the person and see if they signed their check. Okay, yeah, give me, we're just going to do a D20 luck check to see if they left something behind, because they didn't order, but we're going to see if they left a clue to their identity behind. They spelled their name and twisted straws. So roll a D20, and if it's 10 or below, that's about another 17. About 17. Excellent. Okay, so, they did not order, but maybe from nervousness or just extreme deference, they did leave a lot.

a tip. Maybe they felt bad for holding the table. So you see, um, like a couple five dollar bills left in a river city first banking, um, withdrawal envelope. I will also say as far as leads go, I'm going to say Navy, that the address that Carver gave you is kind of burning a hole in your pocket. Yeah. Listen, that was weird. I think we're not going to catch up with whoever that was. I will be honest with y'all. I am trembling with excitement to get another pre-Mohang sash going with Carver and maybe even the other ones. And I know we could all probably use a little bit of rest before another night of crime busted.

But do you mind if we swing by? I hold up the card. The address? Man, is this just... for you to have like another fan moment? Are you really hoping to work with this, dude? Oh, I mean, I don't think I'm even remotely on the same level. But I, you know, it would be, you're not a fan, you aren't a fan?

Yeah, you seem like, you know, I liked him when I was a kid growing up, same as everybody. But like, I don't know, man, you seem like kind of a, seem like kind of a bully, man. Not like a great teammate. I mean, when you're sort of the brink. of the team, sometimes you get a bad rap. You think you're the brute? That's for sure.

Wait. Yeah, it's tough being the strong one. I agree. Yes, it is. I struggled with that a long time. Ah, so have I. Ah, yes. And another life, perhaps.

You all were the brutes of your teeth, of the amphibophores? I'm the barns. No, but I'm the broof. I'm the broved. Oh. Huh. I thought I would.

At two brutes? I have the muscles. I could make more. Okay. At will. So you thought, huh. Yeah, so I, but, I mean, we've only done the one. Hey, I gotta tell you, man, I'm not the brains.

Hmm. I thought the cat, I thought that Roger was the brains, and I was sort of the brute, and you were kind of the... I could be the face, but I don't have a nose. Well, I thought you were sort of the party dude. Wait a way I would. Is that a designation? It's the problem with it. Every team has a leader, a brute, a party dude, and the sort of,

smart one. And obviously we're down. Who's the leader? I like to think of myself as a sort of rolled up leader brute type. That's fine, because I hate making schedules.

Okay. That's actually good. As the leader brute, I think we should go to this address and check it out. You know what? Let's take bagels. Let's take bagels. For sure, you don't want to show up empty

handed. You guys wave down Amanda T to order some bagels. She brings you out a sloppy bag. dripping wet of bacon. Extra wet. Just how they like it. Put it on our tap.

Yeah. You always do. I put it on a tab. So how you all want to get there? Because we left our car back at the fountain. Oh, that was so foolish. Let's go get the car. We go take a bus to the museum.

Yeah. Let's take a bus to the museum and then we'll get our car. We'll pick up our car there. Yeah. Nothing to look at. Are there other animal heroes on the bus? people are getting ready to go to work. I mean, yeah, listen, there's plenty of, you know,

abnormal people, not every abnable is on a team, right? So there's plenty of, like, you know, a koala wearing a business too. And, you know, like, there's a man, you know, headed into his job at a restaurant, you know, early morning kind of stuff. But you guys are the only ones, like, sitting there, like, kidded out in, like, weaponry and, like, costumes. Can we talk on the way?

Oh, yeah. So I've been thinking, man. This walk, it's hot, it's really hot out here and we haven't slept. I really think we need to hire up. We need to hire somebody to help us out. That's a great idea. Like personal assistance? Yeah, don't you think we need to start building the organization?

Yes. I think if we had one other member that just sort of did this kind of stuff for us, you know? like a junior member? They wouldn't have to know. I love it. Business Kuala. What could I, yeah?

How could I help you? We have an exciting business opportunity for you, Business Kuala. We are in need of a smart one. Hold on. Wait, let me video. Sorry, I don't... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me sit back.

I don't consent to being videoed. Is this a prank? Am I, are you... No, it's the best. friggin moment of your life, man. Okay, did I win something, or is it? What's your name, partner? My name? My name? Yes. Dean. Strong. Yeah, it has three E's in it. Powerful. I'm Navy SEAL.

Oh, thank you for your service. Oh, so actually, funny story. I was never actually in the military. I was never enacted. It's sort of just my name, my hero name. He's real particular about that, man. Yes, it's a, you know, but don't feel embarrassed, Dean, I'm sure. Oh. No, I did serve. So I'm not embarrassed.

I'm, in fact, very angry. Oh. That's a completely fair reaction, man. And, you know, that sense of right and wrong is going to serve you super well as the newest member of our team. Um, so, uh, ask. Excuse me. Are you offering me... I'm an accountant. Dane walk with you.

We're on a bus. Walk with me to the front of the bus, dude. Okay. Where are you headed, partner? I'm headed to my job. I tried... What's your job? I'm an accountant.

Sorry, I got so bored. Listen. I love it. What if I said... Every number tells the story of the spreadsheet is kind of the story of the business. What if the story you were telling could be, oof, those guys really kicked a lot of heinie today?

Sorry, would I be telling a story about you guys kicking heinie? You'd be managing our books and our budgets and stuff and kind of figuring out the whole money part. Uh-huh. And then some other stuff like if we, I don't know, were to ever forget our car, you would kind of be our guy, dude. It sounds like an intern, kind of, like a combination bookkeeper intern. Actually, Dean, I'm going to have to stop you there.

I'm really against unpaid internships. Nobody said unpaid. This would be a volunteer position. Oh, I see. Well, we do have an inn at a restaurant where we can get very wet sandwiches, essentially gratis. You want to sniff? Here, check this out. Are those sloppy submariner bagels?

They are. I love it. Sloppy some mariner bagels. They're the best. Well, Dean, here's the deal. If you stay on this bus until it goes all the way back around to the restaurant where we got on it. And then you go into our booth, our special booth, they're going to set you up there permanently all the bagels you can eat. It's on our tab, no problem.

Now, is there a chance? Because I have a wife and five kids. So is there a chance for advancement? Because right now I make about $400,000 a year. year and my current job. Good God. Wow. Wow, Zardine!

Do they have any openings? I'm going to need a second. All for you? Well, for me and my wife and five kids. Dean. Fellows, quick discussion? Could we have a quick, just a real quick con-fab? Hey, Dean, is there a Mr. Dean?

No, there's a Mrs. Dean. I'm married and I have five kids. Yeah, it's not really my gym anyway, Dean, but I'd love to get a slice of that pie. But there's pie too? Because I love sloppy submariner pie. They got pie. There is a huge chance for advancement, Dean. We are currently at ground.

We are currently at rock bottom. We have a table at a restaurant. So there's a huge opportunity for us to go. Okay. Well, then how about... Together. I'll make you a deal because you seem like good fellows. I'm going to keep my full-time job.

but I'll be like a part-timer with you guys. He hands you another business guy. This is your third business part of the guy. I put it in my deck. We're going to need a roll of deck. You are networking your behinds off.

You guys are doing an amazing job. Now listen, Dean, you've got to promise me, if we need you, man, you've got a promise to drop everything. Okay, I'm not going to help us out. I don't know if I can. If you're with your kids or something, I don't want to hear about it.

I want to hear. Yeah. I'll all I'm on it, pal. Okay, once you're paying me $400,0001, you got it. Wow, just hearing the number again, man, I wasn't ready. Well, I mean, listen. I'm 57 years old and I've really put the work in to get to where I am. I got to be honest with you, man.

These streets would never see me again. 400 G's, I'm gone. I would never take this job. Cost of living being what it is, and I've got my five kids to support three of them in college. And, yeah, you know... Are any of them good at fighting? No, they're all nerds like me.

But they're nice. They're nice nerds. You'd like them. Well, Dean, this has been real. But if you would hop off at the next stop and grab our car, we actually are getting off here to talk to Carford. Oh. Huh.

Thank you so much. If you could just drop it at the house so it's waiting outside for us, that would be primo, man. Thank you so much. He's hopped off And like you were kind of guiding out of the other What, how? I grab the emergency, I grab the emergency break.

Yeah, no, yeah, sorry, what, I need the keys. We're getting off here, brother, you have a good one. I throw him the keys out the window. Keep it hot. Keep it hot for us. Do you have a cell number? Here, take my burner. It's on the card.

Yeah, he gave you his business. He's got a beeper number on his car. He does not. Dean is way cooler than that. he doesn't have a beeper he has a cool cell phone in a holster on his hip okay so you head on to the address that carver has given you um you find like a like set of warehouses this is like a warehouse district um and the the directions he's given you leads you to a specific row of warehouses and then to a specific warehouse door um and you see like a kind of like hastily written note

taped up there that just says, you know, if you're the three guys that I fought with earlier, come on in. Cool. I splash myself in some sea water real quick just to get it, just to get it glistening. All right. This could be a big moment for us. Now, let's work really hard to not embarrass Navy in there, all right? This is a big, just because we think guys kind of a jerk, let's try and make a good impression.

I know I got off on the wrong foot trying to impress them with my moves and my chain and my arm but let's try to start fresh, all right? Excellent. I appreciate that. Should we reconnoiter before we go in? What on earth could that mean?

It's, to check out the situation. Get a sit wrap. Yeah, I love that actually. Yeah, let's do a little bit of recon on this facility before we head in. That's what reconnoiter is going to. Recon. What?

I don't think so. Reconnoiter's recon. No kidding. Yeah. Because that had a little wrinkle for the old noggin. Yeah. Hey, that's one for the kids, man. That's good.

Kids? Hey. That was free kids. The more you know. Bradys. Parents, feel good. Feel good, parents. Feel good, parents.

You all learned something. You finally did it. Okay. What skills do you guys have that's going to assist you in your recon gathering? Is it nighttime? No. Not yet. Still no. Nothing for me. I'm just going to take a poke around, you know? Yes, I think that's the same thing for Roger. I mean, he has counterfeit where he can speak most animal languages and imitate them, but that doesn't really apply.

We're just kind of looking around. Okay, so you two roll 2D8s, and with your bug eyes, their Navy, you're going to roll 3D8s. Okay. Two success. Seven and seven. Two success. I think that's actually a Cowabunga. Yeah. A double success. Seven and eight. Yeah, a lot of success is going around today.

Yeah, a lot of successes and a Cowabunga. So I'm going to say with all those successes and do make sure from the fight with Carver, you marked on any failures. I'm going through his trash. You're going through his trash? Yeah, I'm going through the trash in the building. Um, my, uh, there's a lot of Calzone boxes, like a lot of Calzone boxes, um, and a lot of like paper airplanes and like he's made paper footballs. He's folded up paper to turn him into like claws he can put on his fingers.

Then it's like, seems like he moved on to like some origami stuff. Wow, you could really chart his whole artistic journey in the paper craft. Wow. He's really grown a lot. Roger's looking for a back entrance. You are able to locate a back entrance, but it is locked and chained from the inside. But there is a window in the door, fairly small, but you are able to see inside. It seems like a big warehouse, but all the lights are kind of turned off,

except like you see him sitting at a desk. And he's sitting there, like, munched on some, like, sunflower seeds or peanuts or something. You can't see from there. And he's, like, kicking. little paper footballs aiming for a trash can about six feet from the desk. And he lands when you just see him like make a tiny like yeah like touchdown kind of arms. Mostly he just seems bored. Okay.

I'm gonna go on in. Yeah? You boys too? Yep. I'm in. I think Roger would try to sneak through the window. Sure. Well, the window what I talk about is imagine like one of those small rectangular windows with like the wire.

is running through it. Perfect. Okay, so you, Lyle and Navy, you guys are just going to walk in and you're kind of slicing around trying to get into the shadows there. As you guys enter, you can see, like, across, you know, this fairly large warehouse carver sitting at a desk. It's like one of those old style, like, metal kind of teachers as thing for the lamp. And he clocks you and he's like, oh, yeah, I knew you guys would take my invitation. This rules.

Okay, man, are you guys ready? I knew it. I'm ready to train you. Are you ready to get trained? And he flips on a switch and you see lights come up and there's all kinds of like fairly dangerous looking training equipment. And he's like, welcome my students to the carvery. We enter what would seem to be a lavish office except for one thing. The windows, rather than looking out onto a beautiful city sky.

line, look into what appears to be a giant saltwater fish tank, or perhaps a view into the ocean itself. In the center of the room, we see a large desk, the scale of which would be twice that of a normal person. Sitting behind it is an incredibly large man. Well, half man, half walrus. As he stares out of these aquarium-facing windows, a snick. A sniffering. Knaveling half-shrim, half-man enters the office. Do pardon me, Mr. the walrus, sir? Um... Yes, Grilliam.

Yes, hello. I have, um, well, news in a way. Were those bunny brats able to secure the package? Well, uh, things started quite promisingly, actually. but that was until a team arrived and somewhat inconvenienced us. That's not possible, Krilliam. I had it arranged so that all the admirable teams would be busy tonight. Well, excellent. Strategic move that was, sir, but this would appear to be a new team.

Well, plan B then. Have the package retrieves. from storage at the Enforcement HQ before everything is returned to the museum. Yes, well, I already thought of that, sir. Excellent work, Quilliam. I'm afraid the tape was gone, sir. Gone? I need that tape, Quilliam.

Find these animals. Oh, well, I have found them, sir. I was able to follow them to the submariner, sir. They are working with Carver. Carver? Carver is alive? Yes, it would appear so... That is very interesting, William. Very interesting indeed.

I'm just going to head off. If we cool, we cool? We cool. Maximum Fun. A work-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.