The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 25: Grate Expectations!

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

The heroes sneak through the ducts and grates of Dr. Killdeath’s lair in search of the missing Guardian, only to find out they’re not alone – it’s a radical reunion!Abnimals Theme by Justin McElroy, Eric Near (https://bit.ly/ericnearmusic) and Jonathan Coulton (https://www.jonathancoulton.com/).Additional Music in this Episode: "The Get Away", "Courage My Love", "Action", "The Heavy Three", "Discipline", "Blood in the Water", and "Questions" by Mr. Smith: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSk2j0fTMw9V94UGyfWrSuA?; "Rather Never Than Ashamed" by done with fish: https://soundcloud.com/donewithfish; "RF-Silly Saturday" by legacyAlli: https://legacyalli.com/; "Emerald Therapy" and "Sk8board" by Jason Shaw: https://audionautix.com/; "Hoist" by Andy G. Cohen: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Andy_G_Cohen/; "Task Man" by Gamesharkoff: https://gagmesharkoff.bandcamp.com/; "Darlin'" by Beat Mekanik: https://linktr.ee/beatmekanik; "Jingle Bells 3" by Kevin MacLeod:  https://incompetech.com/; "Metal Goat" by Midnight Commando: https://midnightcommando.com/; "Taffy Machine" by Kate Kody: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/kate-kody/; and "Sick of" and "Turn around" by Koi-discovery: https://koi-discovery.lescigales.org/.National Immigration Project: https://nipnlg.org/ Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

The start of a tunnel leading to what you hope is an entrance into the RCF headquarters. Before you can leave the elevator, a panel size open and the light pops up inside of it. And you hear Scud say, wait, hold on, dudes. Before you go, I know I wasn't wildly helpful before, apologies again, but I think this will really help you. When you get to Carver, give him this. and you see inside the panel sealed in a triangular Tupperware, a perfectly cooked, ready to go slice of Supreme Pizza, everything on it, all the works. So just so I'm clear on sort of the mechanics of what just happened, this elevator has sort of stored ready to go pizza in the panel at all times? No, it's a dumb waiter, man.

Doesn't seem that dumb to me, man Well, it's just called that It's not It's not dumb It's a... Hey, are you ingredients still like consumable? Oh yeah, this is fresh pizza man

It's ready to go So there's a dumb waiter in the elevator Next to that The construction of that's really weird Also, you drugged and kidnapped us I'm mad at you Yeah, I know

I said apologies Fair Do you mean a lift? Is that what you mean? Oh, here he goes again dude goes to London for one weekend, comes back, holds a sudden it's buggy's and lifts. The door starts to close.

Oh, shoot, let's go. Shoft when you say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And as you walk out of the elevator and the door start to close behind you, you hear us go say, oh, also, I made some calls. I hope that helps.

And then the door closes. That's ominous. Yeah. Call more of his kidnapping friends. Can I do a quick butcher's around this tunnel? Yeah, Chris. Griffin needs a butcher's. Just to make sure, I got the above eyes.

I would never deny you a butchers. It's dark. It's a little dark. It's a little dark. It's a little dark. Griffin, let me please have a butcher. Why don't we both have a butcher's? You take this, but no, it's a dark business.

Because I have super, like, extreme, you know what I mean? I'll, like, roll my butchers just to see, like, how it looks. No, let's do Justin's Butchers. I'm activating my nocturno since. It takes a minute. He has these heater cells in his eye stalks. There we go. Okay, yeah, with two successes, there's not really a lot of note to the tunnel.

It's not very long, but you can hear near the end of the tunnel. You see light coming in through a grate above you with a ladder leading up to it. And you can hear the sounds of like low levels of like keyboard clicking, some people kind of murmuring to each other, and some like quiet kind of musac playing. Okay. Tell me more about the grate up above. Does it look like it would support weight? What do you mean? Like hanging from it or walking on it?

Walking on it? Yeah, it's like a floor grate, you know? It's like... Hey, listen, if it's a floor grate and you can't walk on it, we've got a big problem. Yeah, is that title. That would be a structural issue. Yeah, we got a huge... Yeah, it's definitely like part of the floor above you.

It's also above us there, Lionel Richie, if you're planning on doing some dancing right on that ceiling. Walking on the ceiling? Yeah. Well, I'm just trying to think of using my covert abilities. I got you. I got you. Some advantage to me being up in that great covering you all. I get it.

Listen. Listen. Once we get up there, there's going to be bogies all around. Did you guys study the handbook I gave you about hand signals? I don't want to be pushy or bossy, but I really feel it would be super helpful if we were able to communicate nonverbly. I say, yeah, I said I got it. pretty good. I stick both of my thumbs to the side. All right. See, he's got it.

I'll be honest. I really couldn't get through the first chapter. It was nine pages, nine pages. I know. That first page was so loaded up with it was, I tried. I really did. I just had a lot of trouble following the narrative. It's such a great job of masking your accent. You're blending in soon incredibly well. I am a master of voices, you know. Okay. Let's, um, let's, let's, let's peek our head up. Yeah, with that Butchers, too, with two successes, you're able to kind of peek through the grate, lift it up just a little bit.

And what you see is the RC. That was so cool, Trave, because I was looking at it, and I felt like I was playing, like, a real game. Thanks, but. The map changed, and we saw something else like they do in video games. Yeah, man. I guess this can be fun. You see, oh, yeah, games can be fun. This is pod racing.

This is pod racing. You're able to get a peek out. You see the RCFE lobby of their HQ. You can see up in the northwest corner another grate in the ceiling this time. Or we're in the wall. Very reachable. That's not the problem. The problem is between you and there, there are six Sibot security guards.

There are two security guards at the entry desk and two flanking those. and two at the doorway to the south. Oh, boy. Now, that's not all you observe, though, because you can hear a scuffle going out outside of the two front doors. And in Wonk's, Dr. Travis Barker, and Stan Peoples,

which are the alter egos of Loveless and Newton. And they're shoving each other, making a real show of it as they approach the desk. Hey, why are your friends fighting out there? Do they have like some sort of secret beef that was not widely publicized? I mean, not that I know of, dude. It's been a while. And Lovell says, yes, hello.

I, Dr. Travis Barker would like to have this man arrested. He's, oh, he's a real near-do-well who's been causing all. kinds of trouble in my neighborhood. And Newton says, what? That is not true? I want to have this man arrested because he has been swimming in my pool without permission.

And they're shoving each other. I think that they're running a grift. And I think that they are doing extremely bad. I think we got to work fast. Whatever we're doing, guys, I do not think there's some interviews going well, man. Have they attracted? I was really admiring it.

I thought it was very convincing. You see how they're scoching in on them, man? Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay. They are most certainly drawing the attention of the guards. Okay. Who are moving forward. And the guards at the desk, you can hear them saying,

yeah, this is like the headquarters of the whole RCF. Like, you want to go to the RCFE? I hold two fingers up to my forehead and look at Roger. I say Roger. Mm-hmm. This is the symbol for Roger. Two fingers on the head. Two fingers on the head.

Do you, I point at him, want to sneak, and do a little sneaky motion up there and see if you can get a tactical and make like a cool gun position on the scenario. Hey, not to interrupt, man, but like using the hand motions in conjunction with speed. speech. Like, what is the utility? Well, it's teaching, teaching on the go, isn't it? If I was doing it with you, I wouldn't. Can we have this conversation nonverbly because it might be uncomfortable? Yeah, just start wiggling hands around. Yeah. Pointing at Roger, like, a lot and shaking my head like, no. All right, man. Hey, listen, that language isn't necessary, man. We're in a cloak and dagger sort of

environment, but I will respect the boundaries a little bit better. You're right. I got heated. It's our ultimate goal to get past that opening at the, uh, Northern end of the diagram. Well, there's another gray, it looks like, yeah. There's another great. Our goal is to go up and rescue Carter. Our ultimate goal is to win souls for Jesus Christ. To do that is our ultimate goal.

Yes. Our current, like, sub-goal. You guys are going to need to start yo-yoing real hard, ripping some phone books in half. We are chick tracks with shells. Okay. So if Roger were to sneak, is there cover for him to sneak, or should he try to continue in this lower level to see how far he can get? So you're as far as you can go on the lower level.

It is opened here. But you know that Dr. Kildath had talked about tunnels moving through the building, but not knowing, like, it used to move all the way through. You could have moved, you know, straight through. But since they have done a bunch of renovations, it seems like from what you can tell coming to an end grate here and a great there, that they may have repurposed this stuff for, like, HVAC ductwork. So now there is not a constant path, but these grates are exactly the same in their making design.

Yeah. So it would be safe to guess that that is your way to the next level unnoticed. We have sneaky shortcuts, but we're going to run into some resistance here and there. It seems like. Okay. I will continue to sneak to try to find the right path. Is there anything that he can see that he could plug the halicar hack into? that might give me an advantage and, you know.

Not from here, but I will also say that these columns all the way around the perimeter of the room. Yeah, and lots of shadows there. So if you wanted to move along the perimeter there, you would have like an extra, let's say 2D8 to your 2D8 roll in sneaking. Okay, I have an idea then. Do you fellows have your earbuds in or communicate? devices? I mean, yeah, man, you can see that. Talk back and forth.

Okay. I am going to, this is going to be tough because I usually do it in the dark, but I think I'm going to try to do the Night Fox Trot.

So you're going to... That means you guys are going to have give me a techno beat just in the... Okay, so I can do my fluid, acrobatic, common reference point. Yes.

To sneak. To sneak north. Well, I'm not getting any cell signal in here. So, I guess just like... Oots, Outs, Outs, Outs, Outs, Outs. That's good. Now, what are you going to? That's good.

Wow. Sorry, wait. I did just want to make it clear. I didn't get to repeat the pattern, but I did get to handle the ball. I do want the record to show that I did get a gotta get up in there. In there, I didn't get more than one, but I did get one in. I think you have total opportunity to add to that. I don't think I will. I think you should.

But I did. Okay. Gotta get up. I mean, that's all I was going to add is, is got to get up. Got to get up. That's it. That's all you need. Yeah, I need to hear it, though.

I mean, you can sample them. Go. Just sample them. Just sample it. Don't let me do it over and over again. Just do it once. Just do it once. Okay.

Got to get up. Okay. That should be enough. Please go. Okay. All right. Did you sample it down? Did you record be doing it?

You can do it, whatever? I sure do. Got to get up. Okay. Yeah, see, there it was. I played it back. Got to get up. Okay, that's, I got you, dad.

Thanks. All right, since you're using Amanda move, father, give me. Got to get up, dad. Stop pressing the sample button. Give me a 5D8 roll, D, man, dad. Wow. Cleans. Okay.

Wow. A 587. Yeah, so with a 5887, you are able to like, like a lot. liquid shadow, flow, bend, twist, jump, dance, curve. It's amazing. You're able to make it back behind the south column here. You've got, or north column, you've got an eye on the situation. You can see everybody is now kind of focused on Lovelace and Newton as they're kind of shoving is escalating. The guards are trying to explain to them like, this isn't the place for this. We're going to need to ask you to leave. Cool. I'm very,

pleased with that. Can we make eye contact with Roger and try to use his position to sneak, you know, regroup with him more effectively? Yeah, now that Roger is in position, he is going to be able to give you guys advantage on that sticking to tell you when people are fully focused. Survivor style on the list of Newton. Survivor channel. Like a survivor challenge. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Well, Hey, do you want to go next? I'm sort of the biggest boy left down here, so I don't want to blow it like right now. Yeah, that's fair, man.

I'll try to sneak over there. How sticky are you? Can you climb on walls and stuff? That's such a rude question, man. You're right. How sticky am I? Go pound sand, man. Super messed up.

Oh, I'm pretty sticky some of the time. I didn't even ask because I would never, right? You're right. You're right. Okay. I'm going to You said we have advantage We have an extra D This would normally be 3D8 for your abs dice

But with Roger in position and the timing It's going to give you 5D8 Well actually Trav I have extreme hiding Using camouflage to hide in the environment So I would normally have 5D8 but I have 7D8 Go for it Do you even have a button for that

You don't even have a button for you I've never anticipated someone being that skilled Wow I have a double eights. That's a mega cowabunga. You're able to, without stopping and just with perfect

blending into shadows, it's almost like as you... I want to walk in front of them. Okay, that's what I want. I want to walk in front of them. Just flexing. Just through. Like through in between. Yeah, you just make a straight line like moving a night almost or... I want to blow in his ear

like made Marion in the Kevin Koster Robin Hood. Yeah, for sure. You do that? One of the sidebots, you tap on his shoulders, he moves, and he turns to the sidebot next to him and kind of pushes them and says, I told you not to mess with me, Doug. And you are able to make it there with a plum. I turn to the side. I'm like, Lyle, I just want to say, I'm sorry about... Whoa, where did he go?

Oh, my God. You're already over there. You're so... I'm here, too. I whisper into his ear from across the room. Um, Lamar? How are you? vis-vis stealth mode.

You see that he is only half listening to you as he is mostly paying attention to what is going on with Loveless and Newton. And he is lighting, he's like engaging with that in a way that it's been a while. You haven't seen him in your time with him. Yeah. Be that kind of locked in and focused in a very serious way. Hey man, are you okay? Oh, yeah.

It's just, it's been, I'm, they're my guy, you know what I mean? Like, it's been a while since I've seen them and, you know, like, I have so many notes I could give them on what they're doing wrong. And I, hey, man, is that how your guy's relationship is always sort of gone? No, no, no, no. It's just, you know, like, as a leader, it's usually, like, the strategy is kind of my thing. and then the like executing and being just absolute wild and fun and everything is like their thing. And I'm just like missing that dynamic so much right now. You know what I mean?

Do you, I know we're in a rush here, but this feels like a great time for an intervention. Based on some of my own sort of learnings over the past year or so. Do you think they like that dynamic? Huh. Yeah. Well, I mean, everybody likes a strong leader, right? Not to the point where you don't listen and encourage them to follow their dreams and take on new skills and new challenges and grow as people. If you always tell them exactly what to do, then how are they supposed to get any better?

Oh, man. Also, you're not really leaving yourself any room to have fun and go crazy. And that's like the best part of being an abnormal. Huh. Why don't you get out there, man? Out there? Yeah, I mean, once the three of us go up and rescue Carver and sort of go, you know, beast mode, it's going to get pretty wild. And your friends might have a little trouble fending off these 12 dudes.

So it seems like the thing to do, I'm pretty sure the three of us can handle the ascent without you. Honestly, I'd love that, man. Also, I'm really bad at sneaking. And so any extra distraction that I can get would be like so great for me. Okay, good luck, man. I'll cover you. Okay. He steps out and just goes behind the column nearest the great.

Can I try and simultaneously, like, while he goes south to meet up with this boys, like try to go north to meet up with my boys? Yeah, 100%. And you get an extra 2D8 to your abs rolls. Okay. So that's going to be 48 total. Uh, here we go. Ooh, two successes, eight and a six.

Oh, yeah, it's, listen, it's not the liquid shadow of Roger. It's not like invisible clear wind like, uh, like Axelio. But you, you know, with a lot of stops and starts as the two of them are like, now, no, now. Okay, wait, wait, you're able to make it back there. Guys, I did it. I snuck. I snuck all the way over here and I didn't get caught. That's never happened before.

Now, at this point, you see that the guards at the desk are getting very agitated as Lovelace and Newton are kind of no longer listening to them and just trying to draw as much attention as they can. And one of the guard says, I'm going to have to call up about this and picks up the phone. and you see a boomerang slice through the phone cable. Yes. And stick into the desk. And now, to make it a little less talking to myself for once, I'm going to have you guys take over playing as the Greenback Guardians.

So, Newton says, what does Newton say, Dad? Newton says, I think we're, I think we're interrupting this little scene. to do our own, dude. And as the three of you, I assume, make your way to the vent. Yes. We can't be in the same space as other characters that we may or may not be controlled.

Because the universe would him play by Justin. That's me. That is not how Lamar sounds like you know. I know, but I needed to put my own spin on him, you know? You get the jump on these guards. What do you do? I, oh, what do I do? Well, that's interesting, Trave.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, um, I'm gonna use, I'm gonna use, uh, Lamar's battle awareness. I feel like this is a really good opportunity where we've got the element of surprise, but I don't want to take like an aggressive action, but I would like to prepare myself to defend from attacks. Should, should, uh, the opposition get frisky. Okay, great. 5D8 for me for battle awareness. All right. I was going to look and see if you had, for some reason, put time to shine dice on these extra characters.

These guys are real beautiful. We're always shining. Yeah. Eight and a five are my successes there. Yeah, with two successes, the first thing that's going to happen from the opponents, the two guards on either side of Lovelace and Newton are going to take a swing at them with their stun batons. Okay, I pants them both. Yeah.

Both? Okay, cool. They go to reach for their stun batons, and they both find that their pants are on the ground. Amazing. So you have a Mondo move called Like the Wind that I think applies here? Okay. Yeah, I think that that's fair. So that's 68 for that Mondo move.

If he can get behind cover into Shadow, he's able to move with lightning speed to a different location and potentially cause his opponent to lose track of him. I'm going to... Or their pants. Or their pants. Yeah, you got a cowbung in there. 755 as your successes. Nice. So you are able to, like the wind, move.

Pants Guard number one, pants guard number two, before they even realize what's going on. Loveless and Newton throw off their Barker and Stan disguises, and they are overjoyed to see you. Dude. Dude. Dude.

What are you doing here, Lamar? I'm just trying to keep you guys alive. I thought that you were... I thought we were doing pretty good, dude. I thought that you didn't do violent stuff anymore. That wasn't violent. It was just regular bullying. Normal?

I have a really great compass, guys. Woo! Yeah, those two guards embarrassed in. meaning a chance to pull their pants up. Well, is there something you wanted to do to these two confused guards? Are they the ones that, okay, those are the two who got pants? No, that's fine. You can go ahead and move them out of the way.

Yeah, they step off to the side to try to get their pants back up. Yeah. It was a pretty good pantsing, though, so it's going to take them a second. It was an excellent pants. Yeah. How about for old time's sake, we take out every single one of these haters. I said, I say we do it, man. Come on.

And I just want to say to you, fellas, thank you for being paid. while we had our reunion here. It's been a long time since the three of us, well, four, but you all have Carver under arrest. So the three of us have been able to really do team-up stuff. And, well, just thanks. Well, I mean, listen, this is the first time anyone has seen any of the Greenback Guardians outside of, like, immediate friends and family.

Okay. So there is definitely a moment of like, not only is one of them here, but three of the four are here. They were definitely not expecting that today. Okay. So, and one of them just pants two of them. So there's definitely.

What an honor. What an honor that must be. Can we do that camera swoop around us, you know, like in the Avengers movie? Sure, that. This is theater of the mind. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, dad.

Or should we say that for when. Treat yourself to two camera swoops. Yeah. You want to, wait, hold then. This is important, Justin. Clockwise, then counterclockwise or two in a row? No, counter. No, it's counter.

Yeah. And then we save the second one for when we're reunited. with Carver. Great. We'll save that one. So, dun, da-da-da-da-da-

We can't use that music. We can't. Oh, we can't. Camera swoops, you can't. In complete silence. Well, I tried to keep under 10 seconds.

I thought that was allowed. What about some, maybe like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. You can do jingled. It's better. It's better. It's like, yeah.

We're just like really. All right. Loveless, Newton, you have a free round here thanks to pantsing, bullying. Dend it again. All right. So, what are you guys going to do to these haters? I would like to do two actions. Okay. First, there's a skill I have called It's All Math to Me, where I'm able to utilize angles, trajectory, force momentum, and other physics concepts to pull off stunts. So I would like to flip over the desk To sort of land in the middle of this big group of robots

Amazing If I may do so Yeah give me a 5D8 roll That's three successes including a Calabunga Oh yeah Not only do you pull this stunt off beautifully But it does stun The two that are standing together

The one that got tapped on the shoulder And dug his tormentor Yeah Wow I just did a stunt so important that impressed a robot. Yeah, it's pretty well. The force of your landing. All possibilities, and this was not one.

So now that I have the attention of the robots, I'm going to reach over and grab the one closest to the desk here on the left side. And I'm going to use snapping turtles, powerful jaws that can cut through ropes, wire, and other objects that thick of the object, the less dice and roll. And I just want to sort of bite his neck. Clean off. Clean off. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, robots. They don't have souls. I mean, they have wires and stuff. Yeah, 100%. It's a bundle of wires, so instead of 5D8, roll 48, but otherwise, go for it. Okay. That's two successes.

Oh, yeah, man. You bite that robot's head off. Yeah, yeah. I think it activates a... You don't think of a turtle as being a particularly violent animal, but it does... I think you catch loveless in a state of, you know, primal... glee, primal satisfaction and primal pleasure.

I just want to look around at the other robots with this robot head kind of dangling out of my mouth. Like, the robot body without the guidance of the head moves around and is kind of like flailing around. Definitely not a threat

currently. You have a head of a robot dangling from your jaws. The others are definitely wary of you. Okay. And Newton, you are up. There's a guard right in front of him. Newton spins on him, turns on him

with a very, I think, aggressive expression in his face. And he's going to use distracting catch phrases where I come up with a radical phrase or word when attacking can

stun an opponent. There may as well, Travis, have been nothing else on the character. I know. That was That was a little wrapped present that I gave to that. Yeah. And so he charges to add him and yells out, Testidines are super fine. What's that even, what's that mean?

Well, kids back in the 80s would have known. Testadines. Yeah. Those are turtles. Yeah. Okay. That's a scientific name for turtles. And which guard is this the one over the desk or the one to the east?

One right next to it, to the east. Okay. The guy pulling up his fans Testudines are super five Every guard in the room is like What's up you? What's up? Tessudine is a turtle, man

Okay, give me An attack on him Are you attacking With your boomerang? I think in the spirit of things It would be like with my shell Okay great, yeah Give me a 48 roll

Okay It's a mixed success Seven and a one Well, so that's one damage, and he does have one damage reduction with, like, body armor, but he is also currently in the process of rebutcling his pants. So that one hit is enough to stun him with your powerful catchphrase. So he is currently out of the fight. Awesome.

Can one of the guards be like, oh, it's actually testudanis? Oh, is it really? Yeah, that's probably Studenis? Yeah, come on. No, it is. I'm, I actually majored in biology. I've been saying testidines for like, you know, months.

I mean, the good news is, like, not a lot of people major in biology. And so, like, people probably, I mean, their first reaction is probably confusion, but then, like, I don't think anyone's going to correct it. Just for the future. It doesn't work. It doesn't rhyme. No. All right. So two of the guards move up to Lamar to attack.

Well, not that one, because he's. still buckling his pants. So one of the guards moves up to attack Lamar. He gets four hits, but Lamar has the damage resistance of four. Okay. So it does not hurt Lamar. Bounces off of his shield and his shell,

leaving him untouched. And then one of the guards is going to attack Newton. Oh, my God. Well, it's just two hits that can't be blocked. So there's two, let's see. Yeah, that's two damage. You got two eights. So the damage reduction does not apply.

And Newton takes two damage. And then one of the robots steps up to attack Loveless. The others are still a little too wary or stunned or... Yeah, this is a brave little toaster here. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. So that would be five. hits. I have two damage resist. Two damage resist. So you would take three damage. Okay. This was just one

robot that did this? Yeah. Wow. Okay. Which one is it just so I know for my retribution? The one that just stepped up from the west. Okay, great. And now we're going to jump to the next four. I don't even want to play his Navy. He's not as strong as the other... Oh, wait, never mind. Yeah. I definitely want to play his Navy right now.

Yeah. You come up through the Great, and I'll give you a chance to peek around if you want, if anybody wants to roll to have a Butchers. It's too bright for me to use my incredible senses, guys. What is this Butchers thing? Have a look around.

The fact that you could... At some point, Griffin, and me and Travis, probably for the boys. I don't know why. Yeah, yeah. It became a vocal stem for all three of us at the same time. I don't know why. We have to say butchers eight times a day,

but we all have to say butchers all the time, okay? Okay. I'm going to butcher this. Well, it's not the context. Why? It said butcher. You're going to have a butcher's. Or take a butcher's. It's boucher, right?

No, okay. Our word we said right. Okay, Griffin has already rolled anyways. He got three success at, including in Cowbonga. So maybe... My bug eyes are so bug-bugged out that I can, like, poke it through the hole in the grate.

Yeah. You just... The two bug-eyes poke out through the grate. Uh-huh. And you can see, uh, this is a very fancy RCF boardroom. Um, and the only occupants are, one, a side bot, but you can tell, uh, from your butchers, in like full hospitality mode, not security mode. And only one person.

sitting at the table and it is in fact Golden Seal, your father. No. Can I, are they in the middle of a conversation? No, it seems like the Cybot is waiting on Golden Seal, like Golden Seal

is waiting for something. Or someone. Okay. I would like to, can I use my, there is some precedence for this. Can I try to siren song and make the internet noise to try to hack into this robot.

I would like to know why my dad is here, and I don't think I'm going to get a straight answer if me, his son pops out and starts interrogating him. You absolutely. So I would like a little bit of context. So how are we on time to shine? Oh, okay, I see. I won't use one on this because I don't know how effective this is going to be,

but here we go. Siren song 3D8, one success. So with one success, you are able to kind of tap in, you don't have control of the robot. Okay. But if you want to kind of make it answer a couple questions, sure, sure.

Communicated via your siren song, I think you get like two answers out of it. So I can ask questions for him? Yes. Okay. To optimize the scheduling of RCF staff, would you please remind me who it is that you are waiting on? Well, yes, of course.

I'm here to meet with Walter Russell to finalize the deal of installing a base in the ocean, an RCFE base in New Zealand. New Zealand. That's the capital of the Seal Kingdom, New Zealand. Yeah, everyone knows that. Follow up with one follow up quiz. One follow up quiz.

if I may. I know that I am just a humble robot and that I should not be interrogating guests of RCF, but I am very curious, do you ever regret the way that you treated your son, Navy SEAL, in how he was exiled from your team?

That's a very personal question, young robot. Hey, robot, will you ask my dad to? It's me, Justin Macquarie. But, since it's just you and me and you're just a robot, I'll be honest with I'm tough on him, but it's only because I'm disappointed in him.

He simply does not... He doesn't share the same zeal for rampant, you know, monarchy-led capitalism that I feel, I had assumed that he would one day be my heir, but he's just not, you know, kind of like bloodthirsty or money-hungry enough for me. I'm going to launch myself out of the grate and just storm into the room. Okay.

I don't want your life, Dad. Okay. I wasn't going to give it to you. What are you doing here? I guess I know that because I hacked into the robot. Is the robot alarmed by my presence? In full hospitality mode, it's actually making its way over with a tray of drinks and offers you an option of like, do you want, you know, kind of sparkling. water or bottled water or tap.

I'll take tap. Tap is fine with me. There's no charge. Okay. Is there fluoride? Yes. Okay, good. Do you wonder I could defluoride it? No, no, I love it. I love that. Okay.

Dad. Yes? I don't know how to break this to you, but you're on the bad guy team right now. What? God, wouldn't it be nice if somebody came to you in your actual life? and can make things that clear. Wouldn't you love that? Like, hey, actually, you're on the bad guy team. You should switch.

The RCF is the bad guy team, and Walter Russell is like the king of the bad guys. See, this is your problem. You think in morality turns. I think in morality. What are you thinking? Well, the RCF will establish an RCFVHQ in New Zealand. They'll take over kind of the day-to-day,

you know, running and criminal stuff, running, taking care of criminals, and then we can get back to what is important. Which is? Sailing off, oh, sailing off parts of the ocean to outside interests to make money and gain power. It's a foolproof plan, you gotta admit. Oh, my friends are here. Hey. Hello. Hi.

You remember, you remember them. Remember us? Yes, of course. The cowman? Uh, are you the sticky one? That's not. Hey, wow, man. Wow.

See, once that gets out. How's the apple, huh? It looks pretty close to the flipping tree, man. Ah, jeez. Hey, Lyle. These sales, man. Lyle, for real? I'm sorry about her.

I really, I really am. Hey, for real? I forgive you, man. Just remember, you've got to be carefully taught. I know. Yeah, man, you don't come by that earnest. You had that educated. Where are you going, robot?

Can I offer you? A sparkling water or bottled water or tap? Everything can be fixed by sparkling water. Why, but I would like a still. Okay, here is a bottle of water. Guys, while we have a second, guys, why does sparkling water have to taste so bad? Normally, I like fizzy things, right?

Yes. Mm-hmm. What is that? I think it's got like nickel in it or something. Hard pass. Do you have orbits? I do. The last one.

bottle in existence. It's a fine vintage. Yes, a fine 1998 orbit. Age to a trickly syrup. The sediment is the best part.

With the little ball still intact. They've gained sentience at this point. Oh no. They've started their own society. Well, then I'll hold on to this. Puts it in his

rinkets. Darn it! That was a joke, and now Dad's got it at his inventory. And you know he's going to use it. Yeah, and Glass of Orbitz with Scentia and Balls. Dad, Dad, listen. Yes? Oh, I'm sorry. What?

Listen. Yes, son. We're on a mission. At the very least, I hope you can respect that. Of course. Are you being paid? We never really get paid for the stuff we do. It's mostly we do it for the vine.

and we do it for what is right and what is good. And right now the RCF has unlawfully captured Carver of the Greenback Guardians. Okay. And we're going to go put a stop to that. I need to know now if that's going to put us at odds. Hmm. Roll? I'm going to give you the option of what you would like to roll with here.

Are you rolling to gauge against your relationship with your father or roll against what you know about your father? Hmm. I think it's a long shot. I think the obvious play would be to appeal to his, you know, his business acumen, his practicality. But I don't think that's the way that I want this to go. I am going to ask him as his son if this is going to be a confrontation or not. I want to put the ball in his court. This is not an aggressive move.

This may in fact be a baby doll eyes Mondo move. I think that is the thing I want to attack here. Yeah, use your baby doll eyes. Give me a 5D8 row to gay. where things stand with your father. 666, baby. Oh, man. Holy crap.

Sign of the beast. With that, your father sizes you up and says, hmm, so you're saying you'd scuttle a deal in order to reach your own ends. I mean, I guess so. That's a really wild way of thinking about it, but yeah. Hmm

I do respect that You know I may not respect you as my son In fact I'm gonna go so far as to say I don't But Perhaps as a competitor As a business rival Bold son Bold

Thanks so can we go Are you gonna raise an alarm or are you going to I don't see how that would benefit me at all. Can you imagine if they found out that I was here and my son or was trying to cause trouble? I'll tell

you what son. With all the love I have in me for you, I will allow you to go forth and fail on your own so that I can continue on with my deal unimpeded. Great, thanks, Dad. Will you be over Sunday for dinner or

will I be, have I been over for any recent Sunday dinners? No, but you were here and I thought it would save me a text. I don't want to, you know, I'm paying text by text because I haven't upgraded my plan in several years. And so I just wanted to check as long as you were here. Well, I wouldn't know because I was removed from the family plan, Dad.

Well, it was just cheaper that way. Let's go. Great on the other side of the room. I have to ask. Our relationship is better than that, right, Griffin? I mean, our real life. Sure. Okay, all right.

I mean, you never had the kind of like financial stability. to offer me any kind of family plan. I've been pretty self-sufficient in that regard. Now, if you were wealthy, would you have turned out that way? Only God knows. Hey, do you guys mind if I have a word with my pops while you guys make your way up? Sorry, did you guys want to fight my dad? I should have asked.

Okay, cool. I was, oh, okay. Fine. Okay. I just thought the symmetry of me fighting your dad would have been. A little too much. Yeah, sure. Hey, listen.

Not for nothing. Uh-huh. All the business deals in the world aren't going to matter if the royal seals fall apart. I am not saying this from any place of authority. You're my dad, and I get that. I haven't forgotten that, whether you believe it or not. But if you. if you keep leading that team, our family, in the way that you have been, I am not going to be the last one of the royal seals to leave.

I guess I do have you to thank for that realization. So, um, thanks, Dan. And I'm going to head to the great. Give me one more, give me one more, uh, baby doll eyes roll. Give me one more of those. Okay. Uh, two success, six eight. Yeah, with two success is, your words have an impact on him. Um, whether that is a familial impact or just the realization of like his position being threatened by his choices. That's unclear.

Hey, man. it all comes out the same way. Yeah, that kind of like stark and kind of harsh feedback definitely impacts him in some way as you head to the great and head on. I start glowing as I regroup the others. Guys, it's happening. I gained closure with my dad and realized I don't need his respect anymore. I'm leveling up. And I'll get stronger.

Okay. On my character sheet, for confronting my dad. It won't reflect in your character sheep. It says here all my time to shine dice are bat and my abs. It increased my abs and my animal dice. You got one extra ab. Whoa, it increased your abs. Hey, dad.

I'm sorry for everything. How are you feel? I'm, I am, me too. I'm so sorry. Okay, that's enough. Be quiet. I love you, son. Be quiet, be quiet.

I love you. It's not working. My abs are just like always. Guys, my one ab appeared in the middle, and now it's like aesthetically really, It's in my forehead. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows.

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