The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 4: Theft at the Gala!

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

The Abnimals take on their first mission from Carver, tracking down a silver thief at a Gala. But first, they have to figure out how to get into a party – without invitations! Special Agent Crane is performed by Aabriya Iyengar: https://www.instagram.com/quiddieAbnimals Theme by Justin McElroy, Eric Near (https://bit.ly/ericnearmusic) and Jonathan Coulton (https://www.jonathancoulton.com/). Additional Music in this Episode: "Escape", "Surveillance", and "Chi Town Funk" by Mr. Smith: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSk2j0fTMw9V94UGyfWrSuA?; "Task Man" by Gamesharkoff: https://gagmesharkoff.bandcamp.com/; "Funky Energy Loop" by Kevin MacLeod: https://incompetech.com/; "Razor Rock" by Wax Lyricist: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/wax-lyricist/; "Emerald Therapy" by Jason Shaw: https://audionautix.com/; and "Neptune" by Joseph R. Lilore: https://josephlilore.com. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

We're at the height of our powers Atop the tallest in towers to stay You never stop us now We're at the height of our power Until it's turning out just like to play We find a way so wrong But our mojo is strong And unless I'm wrong

And I'm not We're at the height of our power We find ourselves It's another perfect weather River City night. Well, more evening, if you will. The three of you, along with your quote-unquote teammate, I guess, I don't know, assistant, intern. However, that shakes out, Dean, the koala man. He has driven you. I like to think of it as a sort of co-op situation. Like, we all bring something to the outfit, and Dean is just as big-co-op with a K, of course. K-O.

Wait, why? He's a ko-a-a-a-a. Let's use a koala. Oh, that's really good, Dad. I'm sorry I didn't understand it. It is good. Sorry, you had to explain it to us. It was better than that.

I got it right away, Dad. You're older than me and smarter than me. You couldn't have got it right away, Traff, because I didn't hear you busting up. Oh, I busted up so hard that it peaked and my audio cut out. Okay. I tap on the window of the reasonable sedan and do the roll-down motion to Dean, who I assume is waiting at the wheel.

Yeah, he... Uh, yes. I just want to say that. It was a smooth ride, dude. Smooth ride. I mean, thank you so much, but you can really, it's the handling on this sensible sedan. This is... Yeah.

Yeah. They don't make them like this anymore. I thought this was like a 22. Yeah, no, it's a 22. It's a 22 Kia Sorrento, but they don't make them like this, the Kia Sorrento like this anymore. Oh, yeah, because it would be the 24, 25 at this point. Yeah, I hear it's got screens and internet. Anyway, keep it hot.

Keep it running. Keep it hot. We might need rapid X-Fil on this mission. And if it seems like the whole stadium's going to blow up, back up down a level in the garage. I'm sorry. I got to ask, man, is the Kia Sorrento's EV? Or you're running on gasoline?

No, it's gasoline. So I think maybe I'll keep the keys in the ignition, but I don't think I should let it idle for... I don't... Yeah, man, I don't love let it idle. We gotta shut it down, man. It's not good for the planet and everything. That's a great point.

Yeah, but I'll be ready. I won't sleep or anything. I won't nap. I'll be honest, a lot of the air pollution stuff doesn't bother me so much because I'm a seal and I'm mostly a subaquatic kind of... Oh, it's all connected. Yeah.

Wow. So, wait a minute, man. I just want to like zero in Navy. Yeah, go ahead. Are you saying... Go right ahead. Are you saying that you're unconcerned about climate change and it's ramifications on iron... No, no, no, no.

You're not going to... You're not going to sew me up like that. I'm mostly concerned with the water stuff. I was an ocean guardian for a while. And it keeps you busy because there's a lot down there. And so I'm just saying that the land and air stuff, it's a bit lower on the priority list for me. I was at a Chamber of Commerce Mixer. with Captain Planet,

and I don't think he'd be completely copacetic with that. No. All right, man, you insisted to me for an hour that it was a mooser, and I told you that was impossible. So you just said it was a mixer. So you admit it's not a mookser, right? You finally admit mookser's not a thing. It's not a thing.

Should the four of us get some rings that we can put together to turn into one guy? I don't think it's just the rings that do that. that I think you need to have like some power within the rings. Okay. Yeah, but the power, but once you give the power to the guy, you don't have any power. We missed the whole event.

The whole event happened here while we were talking about Captain Planet. Oh, well, we'll get them next time. No, let's, let's begin. Oh, speaking of, I did bring some snacks for you guys. Oh, gosh. To take with you, just, you know, some Doritos, some things like that, you know, just some snacks. Oh man,

The taste, It's really Cool, you don't have any hazelnuts to you Uh, no No No I've never eaten doughitoh Nutella crackers

Get them away from me, man I've got a pretty extreme allergy To hazelnuts? Yeah Let me, Travis Knackard I just write that down I have Check this out

I have no allergies Not even to bullets So I'm going to say I've given you guys basically some snacks. Think of it like a healing. I'm writing Doritos in my inventory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can deploy your snacks once in this encounter

as a healing item, basically. And on your way here, you guys stopped. I got some food. So you're back up to full health. Great. Ready to go. There's not an inventory sort of section in this character sheet that was built in Google Docs.

So I've just written Doritos. in cell E62 on this Google Doc. It looks, God intended. It looks really, really good. All right. You're here at the River City First Arena, home of the River City Runner Ups. Tonight is the night of the celebration gala for their 50th consecutive second place finish. You are currently in the parking garage unit to the side of the entrance of the stadium.

So what sport do they even play? Do we know that? Gosh. I think it's Highline. I was not... Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Yeah.

I've never been a big sports guy. I've got a big sports brothers, but nope. I'm a little run to the litter, and the sports was never really my deal. So your brothers are like sportos, right? They're big sportos and heroes, and my heroes. Sportos, oh. What's the matter? I have a bad taste in my mouth for...

Sportos. Well, hold on. My former group. the barnyard all-stars were a bunch of meathead jocks and it just it just it wasn't a matchmate in heaven let me just say that when you said of foul taste in my mouth I pulled out a little checklist and I start running down it like do you feel dizzy or often feel incapable standing up I'm sorry I have to track the mad cow disease I have to I keep an eye. As a team leader, I do, or, you know, sort of whatever.

I don't want anything bad to have it, so I've got this sort of list of, of bad cow disease symptoms I can run down if you ever feel like you're... I'm all up on my vaccinations. Fantastic. That's great. I turn towards the camera. Get your vaccinations, kids, like your heroes. I want to look for some security personnel. Okay.

Give me a roll with your big old bug eyes. Okay, that's 3 to 8. Two successes, 736. Okay. Nice. Yeah, so you can see this gala, the entryway, everybody's lining up. And, you know, the barriers that they set up, there is at sporting events. There is an active metal detection station where everyone's filing through and showing their invites to the gala.

And there is a River City First enforcement specialist, which is the second level within the enforcement team. Of course. There is a specialist checking people's IDs, checking their invitations, and passing them through the metal detector. Do we have invitations? This is me asking you, Travis. No, you do not. Obviously, that question is directed at you, Travis. Are you asking me?

Let me answer. Yes. We do. You do not have invitations. Okay. How heroic is this? I go and stand patiently in the back of the line. That's really good.

Can I stand with you? Of course. It would be absolutely wild to decide to do anything else in this situation. There's a line of people. They're going through a security checkpoint. We have nothing to hide. Let's begin waiting patiently. So do we have to roll to wait patiently in line?

No, so luckily for you, this is an invite-only gala. So it's not like there's thousands and thousands of people coming in. And plus, you're now near that like you're getting close to the actual event start. so most of the people are already inside. Only like, you know, five or six couples and groups and stuff go ahead of you. And now you're up to the front. You see, let's say maybe in his 30s guy there and his name tag says, Specialist Darnet.

And he waves you forward and says, yeah, I just need to see your invite and your IDs. Wait, can I talk to the guys real quick before we do this? Just before we go up. Oh, okay, yeah. Sorry. No, I was talking to Travis. Not the specialist. Hey, hey, so I was thinking, Navy, when we get up there, maybe you let me do the talking.

You know, I have a chance that this cat was in the service before. Oh, I had the same thought, friend. Yes. It's striking a weird note, man. Lately, I feel like the solar and valor energy has gotten pretty bad with you, right? So I think if you just let me talk to him, it shouldn't even be like a big deal. Yeah. Okay, that's great.

And I can, I should work on a pseudonym, huh? like something I can use. Yeah, I'll just sort of like kick it to you and let you introduce yourself however you want. Okay. Yeah, that's great. You never too late to start a new first opinion, man. Absolutely, and I love you taking charge

on sort of the social front like that. That's huge. I know how to talk to. How can I support you in that endeavor? Yeah, I would think trying to stand in a fashion where you're largely sort of visually obscured, you know, man, like sort of behind me. sure and my frame um i kind of figured roger was about to go strike out on this own nasty business

i wasn't even going to inj it i was going to say hi my name is lyell and you probably only see me and this other person behind me and no one else i cannot imagine roger is still with us so we we knew going in that about what the mission was right okay so i think uh roger is wearing his formal wear his tucks and he is looking for catering trucks to see if there is an entrance for the catering staff. Okay. Give me like a looking for stuff check. You know what I mean?

Yeah. And that would be how many looking for? 2D8s. Okay. Looking for stuff. One success, six and four. Okay, yeah. So on a mixed success, you see a couple all from the same.

company, wolf gangs catering. And you see that it is a gang of all wolves who are going in, carrying various, you know, containers and stuff setting up still. Now, I will say it's very limited. So what you see is they're coming out and grabbing like refills of things and replacements of things from the truck because they were here, you know, an hour before the event starts setting everything up. So it's not like there's a ton of them coming and going. but about every like five minutes somebody runs out to grab something from the trucks and back in. Well, Roger's going to make his way over there and wait until one of them is not looking and pick up one of the containers and try to get in with it. I see no flaws with this plan at all.

Okay. Give me like an infiltration check. And I'm going to say, since you stayed at all, like you were dressed like a caterer might. I'm going to have you do it with 3B8s, and let me know how that goes. Three successes. Incredible.

Well, that was, the 6-5-7. Well, that was the 6th was part of the last one. It's 5-5-7. Oh, right. 5-5-7. Still, Jesus. Three successes. Yeah, so three successes and a cowabunga with the double fives.

So you grabbed that, they walk in. You actually pass a couple of them, but these are like the low-level people, you know, and they could not be less interested in the comings and goings of other employees. Like, these are the people who set things up and then wait to break them down. So, like, they see you walk by and they're just like, oh, hey. They don't notice he's not a wolf. They could not care any less if they tried, Griffin.

Cool. And at this point, he carries himself. Here's what pops into their mind, Griffin, is, that cow must have been adopted by wolves at a young age. I love that. Basically a wolf, I'm not even worried about it. I would watch that Facebook video. This cow got dodged by the wolves.

So yeah, you're in there. Walk through the back corridors. Yeah, okay. Do they only serve like corn? Yeah, what do you serve at an all-animal's function? No, there's just a lot of... If the wolves are transporting it, they have to have a different van that the chicken drives.

Right. And the chicken's got to bring the corn to the thing. Yeah. And then the wolf goes back and picks up the corn. These are people wolves, Justin. The chicken can't drive the corn. These aren't just wolf-wolves, Justin. You know that, right?

These are people-wolves. Also, I think the whole game falls apart when it's a farmer and a bag of grain and a chicken and like 40 wolves. You guys are jumping ahead to the big bad. Oh, sorry, sorry. That was going to be a big combination of the whole show. You've got to be able to think on your feet, Trabby. Yeah, I'll think of a different big solution, yeah. The answer was just to kill the fox.

Oh, yeah. Why would a farmer care about getting a fox across the river? Yeah. That's not the farmer's job. It's a chill farmer. So is it back to us, or? Yeah, so you're in the back hallways there, Roger. Navy and Lyle, you've made your way up to specialist darnet.

Cool. And I'm doing exactly as I was told. I'm hanging back, letting Lyle be the face. So, yeah, sort of, um, official business that we gotta go on, man. Do you understand? Well, sorry, official business in what?

Wait, wait, wait, were you cutting to his mid-conversation? Yeah. Okay. Thanks for seeing it my way, man. We really appreciate the help. No, you can't just walk up and say, we need to get in there, and then I'm like, Oh, you cut to us mid-converset.

So while dad was doing his thing. We succeeded. We succeeded, and now she's like catching up with us. What an incredibly interesting strategy. I knew you'd come around, man. Editing to solve this problem. Awesome. I guess I'm not allowed to do that.

Well, not allowed. Yeah, you know what? I'm going to try a lot more in this season or not to put my foot down and be a rule stickler. But I am going to say, in this circumstance, just deciding it worked while I wasn't looking. Humanity's been doing that for thousands of years. How do you think we made the polio vaccine? That's true. Everything has to be a defiance of God.

That's true. He says, yeah, I'm just, if I can see your invites and your IDs, please. And if you have any metal on your body, just send it through on the conveyor belt here. And then you can step through. Might need to do the wand. They didn't tell you we were coming? Dang, this is classic. Classic RCF-E, you know.

My name is Axel-Lyle. I'm doing fire safety. And I didn't know I'd need Discrete Creditioning. I have my I have my official My Fire Inspector Badge, but I don't have any other

Like an invite or anything, but this is a fire hazard, man. And I'm Jeremy Blubbins. Oh, shoot. Okay, Jeremy, if I could just see your ID and your invite And then, yeah, I'd love to see that Fire Inspection badge if you've got that on you. Hey, Jeremy wasn't?

I don't appreciate Fakers trying to intercede When I'm trying to do official fire business Okay, you're holding me up Is it okay if I go on through and do my thing Why you check this guy out? Yeah, I just need to see that inspector license You mentioned.

Yeah, absolutely, here you go. Okay, and I show it to him. Okay, now, Justin, I would like you to roll 3DA And that is going to determine How official looking and how believable. I'm not saying it's fair. sake. That seems weird, but okay.

I mean, fine. 3D8, huh? Yeah. All right. Here we go. 362. That's a mixed success. That is a mixed success.

Yeah, he looks at it and it definitely has like some kind of seal on it, but like it's not laminated. The edges are a little. And he's like, I don't know. It's set to expire this month. And there's only like two or three days left in the month. Hold on, man. I got a little, that's funyon crumbs. Let me get those.

off there. Look, they misspelled inspector. Take another look now. This is real stuff. No, I believe that it's real. I just don't know how much power is granted by it and it's like basically expired. Well, basically, man, why are you being such

a stickler, you know? I got to get in there. This is a fire. You know what? Who's your direct boss? I'm going to call him on the phone. Who's my direct boss? Your direct supervisor. You should know their name if you really were. for them. Wait, are you questioning

now by validity? Isn't that interesting? Huh. I do, it does feel like the tables are turning a little bit, doesn't it? It does feel. Who is on trial here? I asked you, especially Cernet. Huh. Maybe I need to see your badge.

Well, okay, it's right. Can I see your badge? Yeah, it's right here. It's like on his, you know, on his right chest. Okay, it looks pretty good. Let me just grab, let me just grab this and write the numbers down here. Okay.

Okay. Do you want me to get Executive Lewis on the phone? He's my direct... I bolt. I bolt. I bolt. I bolt with his badge. Oh, no.

Oh, no. I bolt with his badge. Oh, no. Okay. Interesting. Give me... You will... I will tell you this.

You will not find Axelyle again. Ever? You not... Not this guy won't. Never. I'm going to say, now you do have extreme exfiltreation. Absolutely.

And this environment is in danger. Yeah, man. Not quite of destruction, but we're going to see how it goes. It is in danger because of what, because of your choices in action. Yes, I'm going to say, so you can roll a 3D8 to try to get away with this badge. Can I assist in some way? Jeremy Blubbins, tell me how you assist. I mean, as the guy turns to chase him, I just trip him.

Try to trip him. Try to trip him. Try to trip the specialist so that he can't chase my guy. Okay, here's what I'll say. You can roll 2D8 to try to trip him. Yeah. Mathematically, it seems like a good, that's two failures. Three one.

Not even good failures. Not even like 4.4. You try to trip him, Griffin, with those two failures. And he just gets you with his taser right away. And now he is on high alert for you, Justin. He's already like ready for Taze. Taze is there. So this is going to be tougher for you to do

because Griffin failed on both. So. Possible. That doesn't see right. He tried to help, Justin. And sometimes when you try to help, you get into making a situation worse. True.

Then shoot his butt with the teaser. He's been tased. Like punish him. I'm tased. What I'm saying is. Okay. So the punishment has been meted. Okay. Give me that role, Justin.

The scales are in balance. Roll 3D8, Justin. Yeah, it's a mixed success. On that mixed success, he doesn't tase you. You take a step back. You have gotten some distance between you and him as you're like backing up. And he's like, hey, okay, hold on, hold on. Things are getting a little dicey here.

Okay. Do you want to, are you going to run? Or can we talk? well you're being very cool about this I have my job to de-escalate

situations like this I'm not here can I stand up anybody can I stand up yeah okay you're good at it

you did a pretty good job there I would say neutralizing the threat I think you here's what I'm here to tell you specialist Arnett as much as we appreciate your time we're already inside.

What? Thanks for the distraction. These are holograms. No, see, this is all a distraction for Dad. Oh, okay. That's so it worked perfect. Yeah. Okay, cool.

By the way. So, Dad, what were you doing during all that? You know, walking around, uh, casing the joint. He has carte blanche, I feel like it, this way, right? That was so wild. Everybody's got to be faced into it. I'll tell you what I was doing.

I was doing. And this brings to mind a question I had. Are we, are the three of us in communication? I mean, do we have ear? I believe that is established, right? That we are using hand signs. Well, hands signs and you have like basic. I always like it better when the players can communicate.

Yeah, I feel like a radio. Yeah, unless you've been specifically separated from one another, you rolled up to this ready to do a mission. I guess we're more because we had to stay quiet. Yeah, okay. All right. In that case, Roger has been walking around looking for another security officer, looking for somebody else in security with an eye towards, because he's been listening all this, all this time, with an eye towards finding somebody insecurity and lifting their walkie-talk,

their radio. Oh, okay. Give me, you're pretty good at this guy. I think give me 3D8 as you are looking around scoping this out. encasing the joint. 625. Yeah, with two successes, you see a more kind of like highly dressed, fancy uniform RCFE member with a name tag that says executive Lewis. This is the direct supervisor to specialist darnet.

And he is very much watching the people come in, keeping an eye on. You can see that he seems pretty focused on some of the. the fanciest people there. Specifically, he is close to the elbow of a fairly large walrus man who everyone seems to want to talk to. I approach Lewis with a tray of canopays. It's weaners wrapped in bacon with brown sugar. A grisly snack for this party.

A grizzly snack for this party. A grizzly snack. I know. I'm leaning into it. But it's all faux. Oh, okay. Thank you for clarifying that. It's the faux bacon and the faux sausage. Oh, it's bacon. Yeah, it's faken and sausage.

And sausage. And walks up and asks Mr. Lewis, Sir, would you care for a faux kind of pay? I can't. I'm working. Oh, very well. And I think while he is peering around the room, he's going to, Roger's going to try to lift his walkie-talkie. Okay.

Give me now, I'm not telling you you have to use these now, but there is a mission-based mechanic I do want to cover here that is called Time to Shine Dice. This seems like a good time for it, man. Yeah, basically time to shine dice. Each one of you has a pool of six bonus D-AIDS. Oh, wait. I thought it was a shared pool between all three of them. You each have them.

It's your own time to shine. Oh, great. And you can choose to deploy those whenever you're taking an action that you feel your character either because of their training or because of their species, this is their time to shine. Once you use the dice, they are gone for the mission. Right. So you can choose it. Is there a max to the number we can spend on a single action? Nope.

You can use as many as you want. Once you use them, they're gone. And you have to declare before you. roll that you're going to use them and how many you're going to use. And then do you roll them in addition to? Correct. You roll them at the same time as the other ones. Yes, exactly. Okay. I'm going to do that and I'm going to roll. I'm going to roll five of them. Whoa. Wait, five of your six dice. I'm rolling five of my six. It replenishes after each mission, did you say? Yeah, so this entire thing is the mission. Right. I'm going to use five of them.

Okay. It's aggressive. I like it. How much? I can lift the radio. So you're rolling seven D8s total. Okay, well, that's what I asked you. Does it roll in addition to your regular...

Yes, yes, yes. Okay, well, then I'm going to roll... I'm just going to have to do three of them then. Oh, okay. I mean, so I'll do five altogether. Perfect. Roll me five D8s. Wow.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Tisk. Tisk. You did. So you got two, five, five, three, five, I'm going to say on a mixed success, you get the walk in. Okay. And then he turns and he says, what are you still doing here?

What's your name? This is unprofessional what you're doing. I'm going to talk to your supervisor. My name, sir, is Larry Purdy. I am Larry Purdy, and I'm so sorry that I have inconvenienced to you. I'm, I really, you know, I think these faux sausages have turned. Will you please, excuse me. Just, I'll be right back.

Okay, I'm keeping my eye on you, Larry. Thank you. Thank you, sir. I need that. I need that kind of supervision to function properly. So you were able to snag the walkie, but now he is wary of you, and it seems like he's kind of set on talking to whoever the supervisor. of the caterers are, but you have obtained the walkie and you are able to move away from him

without him realizing you have that. Okay, then I am going to, as I walk away in a hushed voice, I'm going to get on the radio and say, oh, I'm going to use one of my abilities. Oh. Counterfeit. Where he can imitate people perfectly. Okay. I imitate characters perfectly.

and I guess I got a roll, don't I? 3D8. So say what you're going to say first. I'm going to contact Darnet and ask Darnet if the two specialists, the seal and the axolotle. Oh, God, please let this work. Have made it in. Okay. Okay.

So have that conversation and we're going to roll to see how effective it is after. Okay. Darnet, Darnet, can you hear me? Yes, Executive Lewis, yes. I have been looking for a couple of specialists that we have brought in to kind of be plainclose security. One of them is an axolotle and the other one is a maybe seal. And they are trained in undercover activities. so they're probably playing characters.

And I just want to make sure they got in all right. Because I couldn't, like, give them credentials because, you know, if somebody patted them down and find out who they were. And, sorry, did you say their names? Would they happen to be Axel Lyle and Jeremy Blubbins? Yes. Yes.

Yes. So you have encountered them. Yes, sir. I have them right here. Good. Great. Awesome. Awesome. Tell them to take their positions that I informed them to.

And good, good work. This is, I'm going to remember this. Come the next, the next function, the next, the next in-house party we have, if you know what I mean. Okay, roll 3D8 for me, Dad. I'm going to use another two of my dye to roll five. Okay, go for it. All right. This one, for sure.

There we go. Okay. An eight? You got an eight and a six. Now we're talking. Full success out of five. You got two. That's great.

Oh, brilliant. As always, Executive Lewis, and I look forward to our next in-house party, I guess. I'll let them right in, sir. Okay. Good, good man, Darden. Good, good man. I will remember this. Dornette, sir, just...

Darnet, yes, that I don't remember. Okay. I wish you would. I'll try. I'll try. Okay. There is going to be a quiet hostility between these two actual people that one of them is not going to understand why it exists. Because it's been sewn in falsehoods here.

Okay, so Lyell and Navy, you are able to... enter. Yeah. No, no hard feelings. You're just doing your job, I understand. Um, did I, did I pass? Not a test, son, but, uh, if it were, yes. And also, thank you for your service.

Oh, okay. I, I hope you'll understand, man. I'll get your badge back to your boss. We gotta relieve you of duty, obviously. Wait, what? Clear protocol following here is that if, someone makes a mess up as bad as you. They are leaving you to do to do.

But I stopped you. Yeah, we don't know what you would do with this, man. Okay. I'll hold on to it. We'll get it back to your boss. No problem. And hey, listen, Arnett, I want to tell you something. Arnett, sir.

Absolutely. That was the test and you passed. Oh, okay. Can I have my badge back? Sorry? My badge? All right, you failed again. Oh, man. That test was not over.

I said the test was over, but it was still part of the test. man. No, that's my next book. You're right, sir. Darnet. Don't it. Can you still hear me? Yeah.

Whatever the... You better get that, man. It sounds exactly like your boss. Whatever the guys say goes, okay? Whatever they tell you, it goes. But, sir, there... Lewis out. Lewis out.

Okay, while he's talking on the phone, I use extreme hiding. Okay. I'm gone. I'm gone. I got a five in there. Yeah, I will say that's able... He knows you walked past, but you got past the year and you have the badge. He's so demoralized at this point.

I have to imagine. He's confused more than anything. Yeah, sure. Everything that has just happened to him in the last three minutes is broken every bit of protocol. He has been taught. Yeah. Ego some John Hodgman. At Ego some Janet Varney.

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The podcast, that's not just a bunch of straight white guys. Ooh, we've learned something over the years. Some people out there really do not like that slogan. Listen, we love straight white guys. Well, some of them. But if there's one thing we can't change, it's who we are. I'm Ify, a comedian who was on strike last year in two different unions. I'm Dreia.

I've been a producer and film festival programmer for decades. And I'm Alonzo, a film critic who literally wrote the book on Queer Holley. You can listen to us talk movies and the movie biz every week on Maximum Film. We may not be straight white guys, but we love movies. And we know what we're talking about. Listen to Maximum Film on Maximum Fun or wherever you listen to podcasts. I go inside then? Yeah, so the three of you are you reconnecting inside?

Yeah, we've reconnoitered. It's too annoying to be separate. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's, if it's, if, can we regroup in the back hallways with, uh, with Roger? Is that, can we get him to like, oh? open a, like, employees-only door

for us and let us get back where he is, too. I will say that without rolling, you guys can reconnoiter there. If you are looking to

move through it altogether. Yeah. Okay. Then that is going to be a little more challenging. Sorry,

reconnoiter is recon. That's not it. I misspoke. I apologize. If you guys want to use the, if you guys want to use those back hallways to get

around, that's going to be more of a challenge. Okay, let's regroup in the back hallways. Can we do and just talk about where we go from there.

Okay. Do you want to lay out of what you see when you come in? Yeah, please. Okay. So now you should be in the River City Runner Ups Gala. Yeah. On stage, you see a band performing, the bass drum of which reads The Scaws the Limit.

Oh, fuck. And they are performing. Are you sure, Traveling you? Yeah. This is River City's number one cover band. Do kids know what Scott is? Is Skah's not still... Is Skah...

This feels like, guys, sometimes... Do you guys ever feel yourself saying a sentence and you can tell that you are winding up the mechanisms of a bare trap that is going to snap shut on your own leg mid-sent? By asking if the kids know about Skaw, I'm walking into some sort of diabolical trap. Only I am the trap maker and the prey.

That's true. So you can see the lead singer of Skada, The Limit is Agent Mingo, who is famous as a performer was Caused the Limit, but also as an agent of codenamee bird. Awesome. He is a flamingo, a well-dressed flamingo man. On the other side of the room at the entrance, there's a receiving line where there is a large, incredibly well-dressed walrus man, who you guys know.

This is a billionaire philanthropist, industrialist, Walter Russell. Yeah. And beside him is a little kind of half-shrimp. man. You know, he's maybe 5-2, 5-3, but next to Walter Russell, he is but a slip of a thing. Yeah. And he's behaving in a very, I would say, lackey slash toadyish manner. Cool. And and otherwise just gala decorations, there's tables set up for people to sit and eat at. About how many people are in here, roughly, would you say? I would say about 200, 250, you would guess. Okay.

We are here presumably to try to find the cup, the silver cup, because we've been pursuing some silver thefts in town. Correct. Do I see the cup? Do I see the trophy? Well, give me each of you roll 2D8. And I'll see if any of you know about the arena. Nope, nope.

Not me. What is arena? I already told you I'm not a sports guy. Double success, five and seven. Wow. Okay, yeah. So, dad, I own this arena. Well, maybe if it was a mega-cabunga.

I'm going to say, Dustin got one success. Dad with two successes, when you were with the Barna, all-stars, you had spent some time here at the River City Arena. And you know that there's a couple different locations within the kind of event center of the arena.

This is the Gallo Hall, but then there is also the trophy kind of awards, Hall of Fame that is located separate from here. you can see the door off to like the left side of the room and it is currently sealed. So this is, you get the impression that this is going to be a gala first, blah, blah, and then we present, right? Because not only is this a presentation, it is also going to be a chance for them to try to, you know, get some money from donors and that kind of thing. So they want to make a night of it. Can I do something?

Can I, is the guy on stage right now is he like giving a speech or singing or what's he? What's his deal? Right now, Agent Mingo and the band, they're just playing some really great ska hits. The trombone is like. Like what? Like, never had to knock on wood by Mighty Mighty Bostones. They're doing a cover. Impression that I get.

Impression I get. Impression I get? Yeah, but I don't know that because I'm a cool dude. Oh, no, we fell into your scott test. Trap. Can I look and see if there's like a countdown clock somewhere, like telling this guy when he needs to get off stage. So I have sort of a rough idea of when the trophy will be presented

and what our window of operation time might be. Using our knowledge of live touring. Yeah, right? Yeah, give me a roll with your big old bugger. I look for dog Paul Saborn to run out and put a timer on the stage. What am I rolling? Yeah, with your big old bug eyes. Okay.

Two successes, five, six. Yeah, with two successes, you see. There's an iPad going on stage, and you got about an hour and 15 counting down from there. Dang, it's quite the set that this Flamingo man is putting on tonight. That's not necessarily his entire set. Oh, okay. It's an hour of 15. You know, there will be speeches and comings and goings and that kind of thing.

Okay. I relay that. All right, we've got a little over five quarters of an hour to get this job done. I feel like we don't have enough for me. Paul Sabretooth. Dad is just. height into chat. Thank you so much, Dad.

That's very good. As if you were... Why would you say it on our comedy show, man? I didn't want to forget it. I didn't want to forget it. But you could just say it out loud in the comedy show. You've never actually held back from saying literally anything before their entire life.

I'm trying to be a better... Like, as far as I know, it's stream of consciousness with you, Clint. Like, I don't... The idea that you would be like, I'm going to put that one in my back pocket. If you only knew, if you only knew the ones that I don't say. Open up the firehouse. Jazz, baby. Yeah, jazz, man.

Any time you're talking is the time I don't have to, baby. All right, we've got a little over five quarters of an hour to get this job done. We don't have enough information from security footage from the previous heist to get an idea of what kind of perp we're dealing with. But if we can locate the trophy and either keep it safe or exfiltrated ourselves, probably not that because then we would be arrested. Then we are the criminals. Anyway, we need to find that trophy. then look for sort of vulnerabilities that the thief might be trying to exploit.

Travis, I'd like to have a poke around to see if I find the trophy. Just a poke around. Just a poke around. Yeah, I'm just going to have a butcher's to see if I can find the trophy. Just kind of a look around. Okay.

Where are you looking around? I don't know. It's your room. I assume I'm going to head backstage behind the drapery. to head back there to just have a little butcher's around. To the Hall of Fame room? Yeah.

I'm going to head into the, no, yeah, is there, what's behind the curtains? I just want to go directly behind the curtains where the stage is. So you want to go backstage? Because I thought I was saying that, but yeah, backstage. I did already tell Dad that the trophy was most likely in the Hall of Fame room, which is off to the left in guard hood and sealed. Most likely. Okay.

But you didn't say definitely. So there is a chance. I feel like you would know. you made it up. I feel like you would know. Okay. No, you know what? I'll do, you know what? I'll have it your way. I'll try the Hall of Fame Room. Okay, so you approach the doors of the Hall of Fame Room. Give me a roll to make it through

just like see how easily you can make it through this crowd. Okay. So give me 2D8 just to see, you know, how crowded your pathway is. Oh boy. It seems pretty crowded tref. I rolled a three and a two. Yeah, you roll up three and a two. So I'm going to say as you are walking,

you're going to get jostled a couple of times. You're trying to make your way over there, trying to make your way through the crowd. And as you're trying to maneuver through, you end up turning, and now you're face-to-face with Walter Russell. And he reaches out his hand like, oh, yes, welcome.

Thank you so much for coming. Sorry. Uh, I don't... I can't place the face with a name. What was your name, son? Your Walter Russell. Yes.

Oh, man, it's so cool to meet you. Okay, it's cool to meet you as well. It's nice to meet a young man, uh, such as a self with a good head on the show. What was your name, son? Oh, I'm Axel Isle, man. I wanted to give this to you. Then I hand in the badge. One of your employees outside was really not doing a good job, man.

And I told him that I would hand this to you. This is a different guy, I think. This is a different guy, I think. RCF, CEO, and owner Walter Russell. Oh, okay, cool. The RCF, he's the boss. He's his boss. I thought you were giving it to, uh...

This guy's the boss of the whole thing, man. Why wouldn't I give in the back? Good point. Good point. Thank you. Oh. And I don't know if I'll ever meet that guy, that'd kill him. He didn't kill him. He took his walkie-talkie.

He gave it up alive. He's not very good at his job. John was it like connected to his pacemaker? I'll say this. If you took my, if you took my walkie-talkie, you would have to leave me dead. I would never stop. Oh, thank you so much, son. I don't make son I ever talking to with specialist darnet. You said your name was Axel Ile. Yeah, we've had some disturbing attacks on those silver-related events likely.

And obviously, you got a big, big old cup of your own to pass out tonight. And we were a little worried that there might be some trouble. Someone to lay eyes on the thing, you know? Oh, well, I could see that you have a good heart with a lot of concern in it, but I wouldn't worry about that. I have some of my best specialists and executives here tonight from the RCF. Thank you so much. I want you to just enjoy your evening.

Can I just ask so? It's a big organization, man. Are you sure you can really trust everybody inside of it? Obviously, you're beyond reproach, but the whole team? Well, let's just say if there is any trouble, I've got some special guests up my sleeve. Any winks of you? What are you talking about, man? Well, I'm clearly not good to tell you.

That's why I winked. But why hint at it? I'm not a child. I mean, if you don't want to tell me, it's obviously you're. You're right, you're the boss of the whole thing, but don't, like, dangling in front of me like a cat with a little chunk of salmon. Well, it's been such a pleasure talking with you. And now, you're not even listening, man.

I hope that you enjoy yourself and please consider. I'm a fire inspector, all right? And I just want to check for fire problems. That was a joke. That's how I got in past Darnell, if you can believe it. Darnett? Hey, listen. So you do pay attention to your employees.

Dale Carnegie says that's so important. Listen. I gotta see the cup, man, and then I'll leave. Okay, well, it will be revealed in about an hour. Nah, it'll be gone by then. All these steps have happened at crowded places, just like this one. What else do you know? Well, it's happened at a lot of museum unveilings, auctions, awards ceremonies.

I think this person doesn't just want the silver. I think they're making a statement. And I think that there couldn't be a much. juicier target than the most secure party hosted by the most secure company. See. Give me a roll, Justin. This is all very good. And give me 3D8s to see what kind of sway you have.

Shine. Don't forget to shine. Shine bright like a diamond. I got two successes. You got two successes. Did you spend some shine points there? I click roll 3D8s. No, the two and the three.

Yeah. The two and the three was from him trying to get across the floor. Okay, so two successes, five, three, six. Okay. With two successes, Walter Russell looks you up and down, and you see him non-safe. Hmm, you see him like a trustworthy fellow. Okay, you go over there and you tell the specials of the door that Walter said you could take a peek for just a couple minutes and you come right back out of here. You hear me, son? Absolutely. This would go easier if. I had the badge, though, could I get that back for just a moment? I am going to hold on to the badge.

Fair enough. Okay. Now I walk up to Walter Russell. Oh, good. And I do the same thing. And it goes exactly the same way. My current working theory is that the culprit is silver man. The man who eats silver to live.

Are you with the axel? Wait, was that? Sorry, was that after the entire conversation? And then he tacks on at the end, he gets a little greedy. So keep an eye on He does everything I do and then a pins I think it is Silverman Keep an eye out for Silver Man

The man who needs to eat silver If he doesn't eat silver He won't be alive I see All right Hey I don't know what to call you man But you should probably come with me Yep

I start Just before you go Do you have a third friend Who might come over And have the exact same conversation I only know one dude in the world And he's in this room with me right now I guess two of I'm counting you, I have to go.

Wait, we do want to get, uh, we do want to get Roger in there, though, right? There's no way Roger needs our help to get in there, Griffin, you know that. Now, Justin, you know that spies and secret agents aren't magical, right? He can't walk through walls. I know, but he seems to be the man with the magic touch so far. The cowman, I guess, you know? I, okay, we'll see. It feels like we as a party solved this in equal amounts of, uh, effort.

for your team to go and peek in there. Cool. Let's peek. As you make your way over there, you get to the door and you are ready to engage with the guards at the door. And Agent Mingo finishes up his set and he says, hey, everybody, thanks for being here. I'm Agent Mingo and this has been The Sky's the Limit. We'll be back out for another set here in just a little bit. But before we go, oh, we're so excited,

we got a very special set of guests here to bring up to the stage. Wouldn't be much of a sporting event without them. Please welcome to the stage. The Barnyard All-Stars. And you hear. And all four of them jump out. Charge! And Gridiron, the football playing bowl leader of the Barnyard All-Stars,

sees you in the crowd, Roger. right away and whence on goes tiny dancer my name is special agent crane i'm a member of a classified organization called bird expiration dates on food are suggestions yes you could follow these and say hey maybe i should stop eating this when it starts to wilt a little bit but that's actually where the nutrients come from that banana you just called rank it holds so many health benefits that apple you just insulted, he's not the bad one. He's just a late bloomer. It's time to start taking expiration dates

for exactly what they are. Suggestions. This ad paid for by the Bird Coalition to protect aged out fruit. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.