The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Abnimals Ep. 7: Gearing Up!

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

The heroes make a trip to Dr. Snarf's laboratory to gain some new skills, brush up on combat, and look even sharper! Laser Webber is performed by Laser Webber: https://www.lasertheboy.com/ Abnimals Theme by Justin McElroy, Eric Near (https://bit.ly/ericnearmusic) and Jonathan Coulton (https://www.jonathancoulton.com/). Additional Music in this Episode: "RF-Silly Saturday" by legacyAlli: https://legacyalli.com/; "11 MPH" by Beat Mekanik: https://linktr.ee/beatmekanik; "Chi Town Funk" and "Blood in the Water" by Mr. Smith: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSk2j0fTMw9V94UGyfWrSuA?; "Ruffling Feathers" and "Air" by Jesse Spillane: http://www.jessespillane.com/; "Espérides" by Koi-discovery: https://koi-discovery.lescigales.org/; "Electric Birds" by Scott Holmes Music: https://scottholmesmusic.com/; and "Flamenco Rhythm" by Sunsearcher: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Sunsearcher/. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Welcome to what you have heard, we're at the height of our powers In top the Tulles in towers to stay You'll never stop us now And we'll do it with me much Until it's turning out just like to play When we sell wrong It's long, but our mojo is strong And unless I'm wrong

And I'm not, we're at the height of our power Welcome to Barker Innovations, home of the future Here, we take your needs and we make them reality. Why are you doing that with your mouth? Sorry, I'm the greeter here at Barker Innovations. I get bored and we don't have a lot of drop-ins. But like they don't have a speaker set up to play futuristic music. They make you do it sort of acapella.

We couldn't figure out how to get the ox cable connected. But this is a high-tech research. facility. Yes, but not an AV equipment. Sorry, is this the scientist dog or snarf? No, this is just a guy at the front at the front. Is this a person or an AI? Are you a person or an AI? You started with a disembodied voice with no context. Well, it was just going to be narration, but then Navy started talking to the narration, right? Then Navy interacted with it and I rolled with it. Oh, God, you said Haley Joel Osmond. Is it? No, I couldn't get on our budget that, or you can't. Oh, good point. Yeah. Don't tell Dad we get paid for the show. Oh, right. Don't tell Dad we'd be a bit.

Don't mention budget. Don't tell anything. Don't blow this for me, Travis. You got it. This is not a pro bono gig? Don't worry about it. It's pro bono. We're helping Bono out with this one.

Or anti the edge. Yeah. Well, that's going to do it for this East episode. Oh, God. You're listening, everybody. Oh, Celsius up the nose is really bad. It is, Dad. Your old blood can't handle.

be extreme hydration. 10.47 in the morning, my man. Oh, man. Celsius. That millennials, Gen Z, they shouldn't be drinking it. I don't think old people should be drinking Celsius. I agree.

You find yourself at Barker Innovations, basically the birthplace of every technological advance in River City in the last like 20 years. They've cornered the market on just about every different technology you can think of. They hold the patents on hundreds and hundreds of things, but primarily their focus is on abnimal research and assisting abnormal heroes in whatever way they can.

Each of you has collected several practice makes perfect points at this point. Oh, yeah, maybe. And due to the successful mission and everything up to this point, I'm also going to grant you an additional five practice makes perfect points. Are you sure, man? That's a lot. Yeah, just to start off with YAR, I'm going to give you. it's not going to be that every time, mind you. But here I want to make sure that you have access.

You want to understand. I'm about to run wild. Justin and Dad failed a lot. I failed a lot. Do you understand? Part of this is also because I'm looking at Dad's practice made perfect thing, and he's only marked five boxes, and there's no way that's all.

No, no way. It was supposed to be. I had six, and there's no way that I goofed up less than Dad. I have, once you, with the five you gave me, I have 15. Let's go. Wow. Okay. We're about to... Okay, so I can give myself a couple more? Five more.

Specifically. Specifically. This isn't just like grab back. Well, I hadn't gone back and counted all mine up. You should be doing it as you go, Clinton. Yeah. I don't know what it is. When you fail, which happens, then you click a point.

You get a point for it. You all go first. I'm going to go back and look at how many times I failed. You're going to go back and look? Oh, he's going to go back and look. Oh, he's going to go back. go through the dice roll log in roll 20. I'm going to go through the dice roll line. That's great. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I don't know that you will. History has taught us he won't be fine. But I do think that we should move forward without him and then see what kind of broken

down number he drops on our doorstep. Okay, side bet, side pot. Justin Travis. Justin Travis, I think he's going to come back with, I think he's going to come back with 14 before the five. I think Griffin, I'm not surprised if he comes back with like purple. Well, no, he wouldn't do that. If dad is tried to catalog all his failures, I'm worried we're getting into some meta-like eons. Shoot. Okay. Is that you counting down?

I think dad's going to end up having failed less than we think. Okay, we'll see. I want to find snarf. I want to find snarf and get the, get the late. the land, find out, like, where the good product is. You know what I mean? Excellent.

Let me ring Dr. Snarf for you. Hey, uh, Dr. Snarf, there's some people here in the waiting room for you. Excellent. I'll come meet them. So Snarf comes through big, circular, like sliding doors that separate. Excellent. Welcome to Barker Innovations, the home of the future. Did you do this part already?

Yeah. Yeah. We did it. Is he a hologram or an AI or what's this guy's deal? No, that's Bill. He works here. He just, that he does that as part of his job. He gets bored.

Okay. We don't let him use his phone during work hours. Wouldn't, would a sign suffice, though, for the kind of thing he does, which is just sort of say your company's slow? You want us to fire Bill? I want you to. He has six children and his partner was recently. He's actually injured and needs a hospital care. Is Bill a human?

Yeah. Oh. Bill's a human. I mean, that doesn't really change the equation for me much. I don't know why I asked the clarifying question. If you'd been like, no, he's a dog, I would have been like, then forget about his family. Okay. So we were hoping we could get our hands on some upgrades.

Oh, yes, of course. Follow me. Let me show you around. And he's going to lead you first into the whole. all of Barker history. This is where we've cataloged some of our greatest creations and everything we've been able to research and learn about abnables since the convergence. Feel free to look around, play with any of the, you know, we got touch screens for the kids.

Anything you want to know, just feel free to ask. Yeah, I like to understand your economy a little bit. The value that we're getting is clear. Why do you want to pay us or compensate us for our failures? Field testing. Sorry, go on? Sorry, we like to test our equipment, of course, here on site, our innovations and stuff, but really, when it comes to anything that's action, anything that's defense-based,

anything that's, you know, attack-based, really. The best testing you can do is of the... there in the field. Plus, we want to do what's best for River City. So we figure it's win-win. You get advancements and we get data and the city gets protected. So here's what I'm going to suggest. Wouldn't research points make more sense? I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just thinking if you call them research points, that might make you a little bit more clear what the exchange of value is. Oh no, Justin. He started to realize that he's just a character in a game. And there's blood dripping from his nose down.

Don't do it anymore, juice. That's a skitter root. What? Oh, okay. That was close. That's a skit i root. My brain started to feel fuzzy for a moment. It's called Silly Guy Spins another one.

Okay, cool. For a skit. Don't let it bother you. We do a sort of variety show every Friday night. I love it. We're in the Lions Club. We have this. guy who we just recruited

to the team who comes to it but yeah man killer I'd like to exchange some of my practice points I don't think he knows what those are juice you can just

you can talk to me I'll talk to you Travis if there is a currency we got to have a name for what these things are I got to call them something because I can't go to the counter and say five five I think you're

You need to think of Travis as a sort of middleman in this transaction. Okay. You don't take your experience points to the cat and put him in his mouth. Yeah. And then you get stronger. Yes. You're fighting. This is a good call.

You're more of a go-between. Yeah. Yeah. Can I trust you? When you give me the experience points, Justin, I transfer them onto a swipe card that you can then use in the cat's mouth. Thank you. That makes, thank you, Travis.

Yeah. I understand it. This is much more of a ticket counter kind of deal. Now, I can see, Mr. Sorry, what was your name one more time? Axel Lyle. Axelile. You seem like there's something you would like to ask, something we can do for you here. What would you like? Well, I've realized that I'm having, uh, I'd like to be able to work with people a little better than I am right now.

I have a lot of expertise, but I'm having trouble communicating that. And I'd like to get a little bit better about communicating. So I'd like to improve my abs score. Oh, excellent. Here, if you watch this informational video, we have a bit of a training video here that Jeremy the badger man put together about his skills as far as dealing with the public and speaking interpersonally with one-on-one. I could set you up here at this station and put you through some interpersonal training,

if that's what you'd like. That sounds thrilling. Now, don't let the camera leave me. You promised all of that will be depicted in detail. Well, it's going to be picture and picture, and it's a headphone experience. So you're going to sit and you watch a video of a very rock and roll-looking badger with like a long beard and a cowboy hat. Yeah. And he is going to lay out for you kind of how he works a crowd, some of his like performance skills, ways that he has.

of like winning people over. But we all see this in mute as the sound is going into headphones for you. Sorry, and that's part of, that's some scientific thing you developed? Yes, it's a training program for abnormal heroes

that want to learn from abnormal heroes who have been there. There's really only so much a book or something can teach. This is sort of a class of the masters, you know? I kind of figured this was like an iron clam scenario. He's the armored clam with the power armor that lets him shoot beams out and stuff.

Of course, yes. But it seems like more of a kind of like a self-help kind of seminar sort of a, you know, one of those deals. Oh, only here in this room. There's many rooms at bunk renovations. Can I roll bug-eyed to see if I see any kind of Scientology sort of? I feel like the hairs on the back of my blubbery neck stand up on it. Yeah, give me a 3D8 bug eye to detect Scientology. Two successes there.

I'm looking for phaetons. I'm looking for auditors. I'm looking for Elron Hubbard books or pictures. So here's what I'll give you. So no, there's no abnormal Scientology happening here. You thought about it for a second, didn't you? I did. Griffin, I wanted to answer you honestly.

I didn't want to jump. I didn't want to assume there wasn't Scientology. building this world together. Yeah, okay. But the vibe you get is very much like when you were at the Carverie, right? And Carver was like, this is how I see like abnimal training and the way abnals are supposed to like kind of get better at this thing. You're seeing like another facet of that from a completely different thing, right?

Where this is like it's not about training through like this kind of visceral like boot camp kind of deal, but rather technological, we can train by study, by that kind of thing. So it's not just like a workshop. Well, I guess it is a workshop in both definitions of the term. Yes, correct. Okay, fantastic.

Now, Navy? Navy, was it? Yeah, that's me. Is there anything you are, sorry, I don't mean to pry, so feel free. Are you otherworthy, or have you mutated from a human being? Are you evolved? I like to think of it more of an evolution than a... Okay, an evolved seal. Excellent.

Excellent. How are you enjoying? It feels more natural that way, you know? Yes, I understand. I, too, am an evolved kitty cat. Oh, all right. Well, so this is sort of my whole deal, and I take off the splash pack. and sort of set it down on a nearby table.

My sister, Teal Seal, made it for me. She's sort of the tech one. Oh, excellent. But it's just kind of got the two packs on it and the two nozzles. And I was hoping to add, like, more packs and nozzles and thrusters and that kind of stuff. I hand him a piece of paper where I've crudely sketched out. It looks like the splash pack, but with, like, 50 more rockets coming off of it.

It looks like a mecca backpack situation. So Griffin. Yeah. What are you hoping is like the new skill, the new thing? Yes. What is actually improving in the damage. What I would like to boost here is I have 11 practice makes perfect points. I would love to improve my signature item, bumping it up from a 3D8 score to a

48 score. And then I would also love to increase one of my skills for six points and boost hydro propulsion which would, which is the skill I used to kind of blast myself off in different directions, which would

bring that now to a 5D8, I believe. Okay, great. So by improving your splashback, right, we're increasing the pressure and the capacity, right? So it also improves your hydro propulsion. That will be here. Okay, great.

Excellent. Well, it looks like, let's see. So, Alex Lyle here is working on this. Why don't you two come with me into the next room? And we can make some improvements on your splashback. And he taps you on the shoulder, Lyle. Lyle? Yeah, man.

Whenever you're done, join us in the next room. I'll be sure to take that under advisement. Oh, he's getting really good already. Excellent. Okay, cool. You move into the next room and you find like a full-blown workshop, much more of like kind of the tinkering and tools and layouts that you're expecting. And Dr. Snarf says, okay, give me a minute to work here on your pack.

You too, feel free to look around anything you want to do. Go for it. Can you just give me an idea of how many thrusters and nozzles you're thinking about sort of slapping in there? How many were you thinking about? Why don't you say the number first? because I'm worried my number is going to be, like, silly and not realistic. Maybe same time? Okay.

Okay. One, two, three. Sixty-six. Oh. Oh, see, I heard you say the six at the beginning, and I was like, oh, yeah, we're right on. You kept going. Yeah. Yeah, you said, like, T4 after that, and I was like, oh, my.

Let's, let's, we could start with six, I guess, and then see if there's room for a few dozen more. Okay. Yes, yes, yes. he starts working is there anything you would like to look around do you want to explore or just stand over his shoulder and watch him work? I mean I already did a

check for Scientology and everything sort of seemed to come out clear there well get it interesting if I gotten three successes there I don't know I'm curious to hear if dad has completed his back because I can't think of anything else

I don't do I've gone over it twice There's no way I have had 14 failed roles, is there? Is this being real right now? I'm being real. Why didn't I get money on that freaking bet, guys?

I Why is Roger not dead? Well, I think Roger tries to do a lot of stuff. All right. He tries to do a lot of stuff. All right. I think you're good, You're good at looking at the game, looking at this world through the lens of the game.

And that's why you have the most points. You're winning, you're winning abnamos at the moment. All right. Gee, many Christmas. Okay. At 14 is what I've come up with. Twice. All right.

What would you like to work on? Well, and he adds five to that, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. I got it, too. They call him the mess up, man. He walks between realities

The legend of mess up man His danger is infinite His power is unending He just keeps messing up So many times all the time And now his power Should he ever stop messing up It would mean all reality

It's torn asunder God help us if he ever fails downwards God weeps in the face of mess up man I'm gonna add Can I add a Mondo move The game bends around him. Les Mando is effortlessly grafted. On his mind, he immediately poops his pants, becoming even more powerful.

We are going to enter the training room in just a moment. Right now, is there any equipment upgrades? Now, listen, you also have the ability to increase your armor, anything like that. Yeah. And that was on our offer. Okay. That doesn't need armor if you whip back in. time and uninvented guns.

That's how powerful the mess up means. But on accent, he went back in time he stepped on a lizard and guns stopped existing. Yeah. Yeah, I'd like to, well, for one thing, I'd like to improve my armor. Would that be defense upgrade? That would be a defense upgrade.

I would like a Kevlar tuxedo. Oh, that's good. Oh, nice. Oh, while I work on this, then, Roger, why don't you go ahead and step into that machine there. That right there is a 4D printer. Oh. So I will be able to go back in time.

Well, the fourth D is for dude. I didn't name it. I don't think the first three Ds stand for different things. For diligence, dignity. Diversity, dude. Diversity and dude. Do you step into the machine? Yes, but let's watch the inseam measuring.

All right? Gross. But not an adult. You step into the machine. And basically it's kind of in the shape, the rough shape of a person standing, you know, with the arm slightly out to the side and the feet slightly spread. Like a TSA scanner? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that kind of idea. And you hear scanning. Scanning. Scanning, choose style.

Um, let's see. I would like wide lapels. Excellent. I'd like a really nice bow tie, the kind you can tie with hooves. Ah, do you want a Cumberbting would be nice? Clip on tie or tie it? Clip on. Clip-on would be good. Yeah.

I thought so. And I think, oh, a black tucks, standard black tucks, French cuffs. Do you want your lapels to be matte or shiny? Shiny. No, no, no, no. Oh, what? Matt. It must be Matt.

Okay. And suspended rules. Do you want single breast or double breast? Double. Double. And what would you like the lining to be designed as? Kevlar. No, I meant like the pattern of the line.

It will be Kevlar. We got that. Actually, I'd like it to be reversible. So if the lining could be white with white lapel. Brilliant. Do the pants reverse to... Do the pants reverse... I knock on the glass.

Do the pants reverse... You don't wear white pants with a white jacket, Griffin. We're not in Monaco. Processing. And you see the scanners go up and down. And then there is what at first appears to be like a swirl of dust around you. But as it coalesces, you realize that these are like nanobots, right? That begin the process of stitching this jacket directly onto you as it forms.

ensuring a perfect fit. It's not stabbing you. It's just 3D printing with nanot. All. Okay, gotcha. And you are now the proud owner of a reversible cavalier-lined tuxedo, which is going to give you one point of damage reduction within your armor.

So I'm going to add that for you. Awesome. Thank you so much for using the 4D. printer. Be sure to tell your friends. And the scanner shut off. Hey, why does it say that last part? He didn't clear the chamber. We wanted to make it clear. It was done. I have a question. Yes.

Why did it cost so many of my points? Oh, it's 10. 10 to upgrade your armor. Oh, gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. So the armor trapped, does that mean every time he takes damage? he takes one less damage. Correct. Wow. Okay.

Dang, that's good. That's why it's 10. Yeah, I guess so. Gotcha. Juice, did you have other points you were going to spend? I have five left. Is there a... I mean, you could improve your signature item.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess that could be... That could be fun. I didn't know if there's any point in, like, sitting on them and saving them. Oh, yeah. I mean, absolutely, if you want to save them up and on the next like downtime session, spin them that way, you can do that as well. Yeah, I do, you know what, though?

I would like a little more, I didn't really feel like I had enough juice to get it done last time. So I'm going to take the, I'm going to sharpen. No, I'm going to improve Hatchet Man by drilling holes into the handle to make it a little more ergonomic. Okay, you walk in, having finished your. your master class, excuse me, your class of masters with Jeremy the Badger Man. How to go, Axelyle?

Well, it's interesting that you asked that. I got chills just then. Well, friends, that's, yeah. Okay. What do you think? Hmm. Yeah, it's great.

We needed a face guy, since Rogers, usually the sneaky guy. It's tough for the sneaky guy to be the face guy. Um, it seems like we got, so from now on, I'll be the one who's listening. Huh. Wow. Interesting. Just a little feedback about the thing feels pretty condescending.

Well, I guess you and I are on the same page. Huh. I guess there's not such a difference between us. After all. Does it, I turn to snarf, does this level out eventually? Does it kind of. Yes, there's always a process of like overcorrection in the beginning. Okay. Good. Yeah, no, it's genuinely pretty troubling.

Ask him about his favorite kind of wine. That's always funny right away. It's your favorite wine, man. Oh. Ah. The noble grape. I'm more interested in what you're thinking about the noble grape. Maybe he shouldn't operate any kind of power tools right now. Yeah, yeah. His eyes might be highlighted as. Well, that could happen. I can't help but operate my most powerful tool.

It pumps the blood through my body. Huh. Yeah, that's a real power tool, isn't it? If he's about to upgrade his heart, I don't even want to be... There's two power tools that I'm so deeply into. Look at these two power tools here. I'm pointing at their ears because I don't have ears. My ears?

I don't think I have ears either. Does he mean we have ears? Roger definitely has ears. I've seen... Are you as... You're a seal? I believe the difference between seal and sea lion is which one of them has ears. Let me see. Do Ross seals have ears? Yes, seals have ears, but they lack external ear flaps. Okay. So I don't think he would know where to point. Wait, hold on. Does that mean our ears or just the external ear flaps? Yeah, man. So the holes are the ears? Yeah, man, we don't really keep any important stuff in the flaps. Most of the goodies are in there. Hair. There's hair in mind. Yeah, I guess that's good.

Yeah. Okay, so you walk in, Lyle, and you just start, you grab a drill press, and you just start putting some holes in the handle of your eyes. Hey, what are you doing? I hear about, while he's doing this, I think like a dozen times, he reaches for Hatchet Man and then realizes that he is working on Hatchet Man. So it takes longer than it should, because he keeps trying to get Hatchet Man. to help with some part and it just doesn't it's like an extension of his body this is great because now

if you get like a mega cowbonga you can make the attack or whatever and then play it like a flute yeah yeah that's true i think he should be able to do that whenever he wants well not whenever he wants if he has a mouthful of food or whatever i don't want to see it yeah that's fair just a good point really good point actually thank you chos excellent so at this point the blaster pack has been finished okay great Was Snarf himself working on this? Yes. I finished your blaster pack upgrade here. Try it on.

Here, let me set up a target for you. What's your usual range? Well, on the old splash pack, it had to be fairly close, like about 50 feet or so. Okay, great. He sets the target up 75 feet away. Now, you're not going to get maximum pressure at this distance, but you do get increased distance. so why don't you give her a try? Cool.

I'll roll 48. One success. Let me work on that. Hold on. I'm telling you, man, more nozzles, 64. 32 on each side. I think what if it like popped out of the sides like wings, but they were in reverse and then each one had sort of 32 individual nozzles that would all.

Okay, I'm going to work on a design to see if I can incorporate that many nozzles. Let me work on that for a while. When you're ready, you come back, okay? Okay. Oh, come, come, come, come over here. This is very, have you ever seen the element in person? This is the element that came crashing to Earth during the convergence, which drew the attention of all the otherworldly abnambemals.

Okay. And brought them here. It is what is used to also recreate the sustenance from that abnambimals' home world. Okay. Have you seen? Have you seen the element? It's so beautiful. Yes, isn't it?

It's impossible to describe how beautiful it is. How convenient. It's like a crystal, but also an orb. Yes, and it kind of gooshes around when you, yes, in the corner of your eyes. Also, I see a face. Yes. And it's not my own face, but it is. You see a dragon.

Yes. It often manifests as different things or different people. What's it look like to you, doctor? To me? Oh, like a juicy ball of yarn. Wow. So maybe it's the thing you love most in the world. Maybe.

I guess it's like a orb crystal that's also a diamond. And maybe your face? I guess so. Wow, what's that said about me? I'm going to write that down in my journal. I feel myself getting more powerful near the... The crystal orb diamond heart. Well, as an evolved animal, the element is beautiful.

It's definitely like of interest and everything. But it's not fueling my powers as if I were an alien. Gotcha. No, you know, because you would have learned this, as an evolved animal, it is necessary for you to continuously access, like, whether it's drinking water or swimming or whatever. The waters surrounding River City have been imbued. with like a mixture of chemicals from a spill. I got you.

Yeah, 20 years ago. The splash pack also has a tube that feeds back into my body. Oh, like a Fremant tube. So I can just kind of juice, well, or a Camelbeck. I guess it's not your urine. No, Camelback just ripped off the Fremens. What the heck? But it did improve it because they were like,

you could just put new water in here. You don't have to pee into the Camelback. It is a tube. It is like a small tube that I have taped to the side of my face that kind of goes in my mouth if I turn my head to the side. I love that. But it is important to note that without like reupping the supply of water, it does lose its effectiveness, the half-life of the chemicals. Quit trying to give me weaknesses.

It's not weaknesses because as long as you're in River City, you have access to it and it's not a concern. Yeah, until the dry man comes and you're like, this is my new bad guy, the dry man. He puts you in a prison that dehumidifies you. And now all your powers are gone. What might be planned for the theater might not be. It's not important. Just stop recording so Trowice can get his notebook. Yeah?

About try, man. Listen, Griffin and I, as is often demonstrated on my brother, my brother, me, may I not already be on the same wavelength? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't freak out. All right. We'll move into our high tech training facility here. Excellent.

Give me just one moment to set everything up. So just step into the machine here. And we can begin. This is just for Roger, don't worry. Very well. Yeah, so when you step into the training room, what you see is sort of a spider-like, maybe octopus-like, multi-armed machine hanging from the ceiling.

And it looks like it's like part scanner, part... Yeah. It's hard to say exactly what the other part is. Part something. This is the season we're trying to make kids appropriate. So in the tenderest way I can possibly put this, it looks like the robot has eight genitals. Listen, what the robot does or does not have is the gene, him, and it's God.

Okay. I guess we don't have to get any more into it than that. I think that this is, I think they can say genitals on like ABC family. So we're probably a very scientific and medical. But I want the three of you to kind of not other me right now to accept like, acknowledge the fact that this robot is. Yeah, it's scientifically. It has optogenitals. Lieme on in, Roger.

Oh, right. So Roger climbs on in. Does this have to be programmed in any way? Yes, describe to me the kind of thing you want to be able to do, and we're going to do some rapid training, baby. Okay. I think I would like this to be an animal move. Because right now I only have one animal move that's active.

and I would like it to be the, I think this would help a lot in our efforts. The Flamingo Flamingo. If there is a light source shining on Roger, you know, he does a stomping, clapping, clapping, solo dance on one leg that nobody adversaries can ignore. So all attention will be drawn to him. It's like irresistible, it holds all attention. for 10 seconds. Oh, okay.

Of adversaries. Okay, excellent. The machine begins whirring up. Can it play Malagena, which is a great flamenco song? Of course it can't, done.

As long as we don't actually play it because of rights issues. Would you two like to help me out here? Us? Yeah. As long as they don't have to touch the genital things. Yeah.

They're not really genital things. Can't stress this enough. That's a robot. Okay. Lyle, Navy, grab those controllers there. And we're going to put them to the test. Let's see how this goes. And a bright light shines on you. And basically, you feel the machine, like the arms and everything come down. And eight of the arms kind of latch onto like your wrists and ankles. And they start to move you around training your body in rapid succession as the other arms controlled by Lyle and Navy are going to attempt to attack you while you do this dance.

Oh, cool. All right. Another chance to fail. I look at Axelialial, it kind of grimace. Okay, make it realistic and challenging, boys. It's a weird vibe. So each of you roll 2D8 and you dad are going to roll 5D8. Can I contest myself on this role?

Well, I guess I'm with the training to be good. This is training. You gotta have good training here, my phone. I hold myself in contempt. Hey, this is two failures. I got,

so one success between the two of us. 5'8. Here we go. Oh, my God. He rolled the double-eighths, Travis. That's a mega-calabunga. You dance so beautifully. You gotta stop with the folly, the Mac.

Everyone's folly sucks. Yeah. Are you clapping? What is that? It sounds like your... Slapping some beef together. Have you never? Slapping some beans together.

Exactly. Just two big beefy men. Slapping meat. By the end, Dr. Snarf is crying, watching this beautiful thing. He says, it's the greatest flamingo I've ever seen. Even better than Agent Mingo. Who is a flamingo? I know what I said about your robot.

But it has created something truly beautiful today. That was glorious. I thank you. All of you. Lyle, do you have any complimentary remarks to me? Hey, listen. I think that was something we all needed to see a little bit, you know? But not a lot. Gotcha.

Well, it's meant to distract our adversaries, since not meant to distract you guys. That's true. I found it very diverting. That's got to be a compliment. I certainly couldn't look at anything else. I didn't want to look away. I couldn't quite get there.

Well, now you've seen it. So you'll probably be immune to it from now. Oh, but just a one-time view. All right. Well, excellent work. Listen, my work here is done. I've got to go design a splash pack with at least 58 more nozzles. It will be my greatest scientific challenge.

But before you look, leave. Oh, uh, uh, Roger, make sure, uh, to stop by Dr. Barker's office, you add some, uh, your weak supply of Musley X. Oh, therefore you make sure you, your boys stop by there on the way out. Um, and I, I'll be here if you ever want to come by and, you know, we can work on innovations and stuff or just hang out. You guys like chess? Um, no. Roger? Lyle, you guys like chess? I'm more of a go guy. Okay. I might poke around back at the museum, if that's all right.

Sure. Lyle? Do you have anything for one point? Um, let's see I can give you this lollipop. Does it have magic power? No, but it's two flavors. I'll hang on to my point. Okay.

I've dabbled. Oh, excellent. I've been meaning to learn how to play. So if you want to teach me chess, I'd love it. Where to begin? We traveled to ancient Persia, where the game was originally called Shamop, which means I fall. It has to cut it.

It cuts away. Yeah, it cuts away, Navy. You've gone back to the... That was both just an impressive and the most boring five seconds of my entire life. Yeah. We're back in the little history of animals slash interpersonal training. room there. What are you looking for? Is there anything in here from

the Royal Seals? Is there anything in here? I have to imagine we were a fairly technologically advanced sort of older established team. I didn't know if they would have anything here at Barker Innovations. Are you looking for like a history of them or like documentation of their inventory and advances?

Like artifacts. Yeah, like, you know, items on display. Oh, excellent. Okay, yeah. Yeah, you don't got a role for this. There's like a, you see on the wall a kind of like prototype weapons and defensive stuff there. And you can see what would have been the first kind of iteration of Golden Seals signature trident. This was just like your basic.

lots of aerodynamic or I guess hydrodynamic sure that would allow it to cut through water easier as well as you can see there's kind of a guard across like where his hands would go to protect his knuckles but there wasn't a lot of other innovations to it at that point besides just basic like design okay and of course you can see the royal seal royal seal um decorating that and like a little blurb about when golden seal first made uh you know, first came to land and partnered with Barker Innovations to produce this Trident. Cool. I just, can I knock it over?

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, it's standing in a, like, kind of acrylic, you know, fairly thick, like security glass, but it's just a, like, not a lot of base to it. So if you want to give it, you know, like a push. Yeah, give it a 3D8 because you're a bulky boy. and you're kind of leaning your weight against it. Yeah, it knocks over. It doesn't like smash or anything.

You see the Trident like come loose and just kind of bounce around, maybe get a little scuffed up. All right, cool. I look around really quick and then realize that was probably stupid and I want to just take off. Great. Yeah. You head back and join up with the others. Are you guys heading to... I was in the bathroom.

I was in the bathroom. Bathrooms must be wild in this world. huh? Got to accommodate a lot of different types of stuff. Yeah, it's a good place to meet people with real wide variety of intentions. Yeah, man. It's always a little bit of a dance, you know, walking around. Like, I'm headed this way, but are you headed?

Oh, okay. That's, whoa, all right. Oh, I had no idea. It's so wild how every bathroom has to have a pasture in it. Yeah. And special of them for Cloakers. Yeah. So anyway, that's where I was.

Are you going to head to Dr. Barker's office to grab some UCX? Yes, please. The three of you make your way to Dr. Barker's office. As you approach, you can hear raised voices coming from within the office. You can't quite make it out. You're all standing about three or four feet away from the closed. door, but you can hear, it's definitely angry voices. We're not inside the room yet, though?

Not yet. You're approaching the office. Hey, Roger, do you have external ear flaps? Do you want to... Yes, let me... Try to listen in. Yeah, I kind of lean in, put my ear flap against what, the wall, the door. Is the door closed? Yes, the door is closed, but it's frosted glass, so that's probably your best.

option. Okay. I'm going to place my ear flap against it. You can just say ear. We don't have to get to in the woods. In the weeds? In the woods. In the woody weeds about this. Okay. And I'm going to do a listen check.

Okay, yeah. Give me 2D8. One in a one. Wow. Wow. That's a turbo loader, right? Do we have a term for what that strikes again? How many practice? How many practice points do I get for them that?

And you won't see Mr. Messup coming, but he'll sleep right into your dreams. He'll make a mess of everything. He'll poop by Lange fans. And then he'll get 20 points. All you're, all you're able to hear, Roger, is you hear what you're pretty sure is Dr. Barker's voice, say something like, so you're the one who took it

I knew that it what were you thinking and then the door falls open as you're leaning against that and there in his office you could see Dr. Barker and it appears that he has been arguing with who you're pretty sure is Carver

he's got like a trench coat on and his hat pulled down low and all that stuff but you're like 99% with his back to his dog he's not me it's Carver he's been yelling at Carver Oh, this is, Parker. Oh, sorry, yes. Don't worry about any of them.

There's just an old friend stopping by. Oh, you're Musley, yes, of course. Here you go. And it hands you like a large mason jar full of Musley X. I lick a fingers. Oh, I don't have fingers. Like a hooves? No, your hands are fingers.

Let's not overcomplicate. Your life. Yeah. And I swore it around. Mmm. Do you just, do you house it right there? Not all of it, just a little taste. I was feeling a little bit lightheaded.

Was there, was there anything else that you needed? Do you have any, like, good cereal? Like cinnamon toast crunch or? Yes, if you want to go to the break room, we have a mini-serial dismisses there to choose from. Do they give me power? No, I mean, sugar. You might get a bit of a sugar rush. Hey, do you have any of those fruit gummies that when you eat it, your head turns giant into the shape of the fruit?

We haven't been able to perfect that yet. The closest we've gotten some of the animals' heads have exploded. Oh, okay. If you wouldn't mind excusing us, me and my old. friend here, just have some more things to discuss. Is Carver eyeballing us at all? No, he is trying to hide

his eye. He's like pulling his hat down low, trying to hide himself from you guys. Pardon us for intruding, but it seems like there may be something going on here that perhaps

we could aid you? Is there a problem? Give me Every role is an opportunity for me. Yeah. That's beautiful, Don. Give me a 2D8 role

to see if this is going to win them over. Wow. Hmm. Seven and five. Two success. Okay. Okay. You three come in close the door.

I do so. Well, I pick the door up off the ground. He didn't fall over and knock it. It just like opened. Oh, okay. I lean against the door jam after I enter with the easy charm. Listen, before anything else, let me just say, Lyle, there's something very cool about you today. I think there's something cool about you taking the time.

Oh, my goodness. Okay. Again, the hmm thing is a little much. But it leaves me wanting to win you over. I guess that's a secret, huh? Oh, so mysterious, so hard to read. Now, listen, I was just discussing with Carver here, yes. I know, surprise, it's Carver.

Yeah, hi, guys, it's the, yeah, it's me. Sorry about the... I know I was... Wow, Carver! Sorry for the shock. Wow! I'm such a huge fan crazy to meet Carver. You already told me, I was telling Car...

Okay, I was discussing with Carver. He's recklessness. not just in revealing himself to you three, but also in his heist, his robbery of the museum. So it was just some angry words, exchange between friends, you don't need to worry. Beyond that, I didn't catch your first name. It wouldn't happen to be Judy, would it?

Because I am hearing a lot of judging coming from that end of the room. You know, we really can't sort of make those sorts of sweeping judgments on folks's actions, especially when we weren't in their shoes. All part of his easy charge. Also, there was also a heist happening before he showed up. So if anything, he kind of just piggybacked onto a pre-existing heist. Right.

It's sort of an assist. An assisted heist. An abet. Just a tiny abet. Just a little abet is all. on a little bit. And some aiding. Well, it's a little eating.

A betty boot. Double jeopardy. A betty boop. Just a betty poop of a serious crime. Just a quick a betty boop. In which he put, revealing his identity. And who knows what we'd all do to do that a little bit more, couldn't we, though, revealing, taking away some of those masks?

Hmm. I don't quite follow. Well, I wouldn't. hope you to follow. I would hope you to lead. Give me, um, with your abs skills. A duck check. You're not gonna leave this building.

You will be killed by someone in this building before you leave it. Just from talking to that. Give me a 3D8 roll for an abs check for, uh, like reading me. Oh my God. Successes. With three successes. With three successes. Wow.

When you talk about like revealing yourself and like not just, of being a leader. He gets, you would say, like, worried, maybe, like,

backs off a little, tenses up a little bit, and says, oh, yes, you've made quite a few points. If you would excuse the, I'm late for another appointment.

If you would, please excuse me, and he rushes out of the room. That was weird. And that is when Lyle, your phone pings, And you've received a text message from Sergeant Salamander, leader of the amphibaphores. Wow, guys, I've just received some sort of message here from the amphibophores.

Oh. Let me read it. Yeah, do that out loud. All right. To myself. It reads. First. Axelial.

I know it's been a while since we contacted you. But we need you now. more than ever. We need you to come to the amphibah fortress, ASAP. And listen, we've heard through the grapevine that you've been traveling with some new associates. Feel free to bring them with you if you feel like it. Can't wait to see you. Reminder, this one is an emergency.

Huh. Well? You kind of mumbled through most of that. Sorry, I wanted to read it to myself. let me read it again for you guys in sort of a more stately fashion. I didn't know if there were any sensitive data in there

and I do want to try to protect the amphibal force if they had some sort of trade secrets that was just intended for me. I didn't happen to notice any special mention to me or any sort of thing

to reveal that they knew who I was. But there does seem to be an emergency. And if you guys are interested in seeing my side of the pond, I think we'd love to have you out there. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm saltwater marine life, but, um... Oh, that's okay. I have a lotion for that. Great. Then there's no reason for me to say no to this. Hmm. Um, I'm, I can be quite buoyant with all the methane gas, so I'm with you. To, you. To, you. You. I'm, the amphibah fortress.

Bala la la la. Hey kids, Laser Weber here from the Arachnid Alliance. I'm here to remind you that when you're operating your J987 laser wave inverter, you gotta avoid overheating

by shifting the L switch into position 7 and adjusting your energy input output ratio using the included supplementary diagnostics tool. Just be sure to connect your controller using a cat 5

cable with the appropriate RJ5 connection. You can also refer to page 197 of the user's manual for more information. Lasers are fun, but safety always comes first. Stay cool and keep it tubular. Maximum Fun A Worker Own Network of Artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.