The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Amnesty - Episode 18

Episode Date: November 19, 2018

The Pine Guard are dialing into the identity of the abomination that's been terrorizing Kepler with accidental mayhem. But will prying eyes and woodland brawls prevent them from finally cracking the case? Duck reminisces with an old friend. Ned goes on a walk with a new friend. Aubrey threatens a rival. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously on the Adventure Zone. You melt the snow in front of Keith, and he eats shit. And then he stands up, looks back at you, Aubrey, and it's just kind of staring at you dumbfounded. We got to get this thing back to the lodge. I know, I know, I know, but look at it, man. It's going to die if we don't do something. Hell, we got veterinary equipment down there. You were targeted.

That means that there is a motive behind these attacks. Well, if Billy and the other two, they're just like the foot. soldiers. Why was the finicular attacked? Your friend was there and she's an employee of the park service, but what does that have to deal with the general store? I'll take it out of his mouth and I slip it onto his wrist. He transforms. Do you want to decide what he looks like? Yeah, he looks exactly like Ryan Gosling. Duck Duck Gosling is what we'll call this art. Yowsers. Baha, bah, land. Hey, everybody at home listening, So Griffin did a shit ton of work in Roll 20.

I did. It's going to change the literal game. But one of the things that he done did was compile all of the things that we should have known and written down that we didn't. Maybe Dad did. I don't know. He's a nerd. But it's not all of these clues in there. And I've done figured this whole thing out.

I can see it. No. It made it too easy. I can see it all now. Wheels within wheels. I know exactly what's going on. Also, another behind the thing. the scenes, what really helped.

Went back and listened to the last episode. How novel. I know. And I'm ready to solve the puzzle, Alex. Hey, listener, can I, can I suggest that you do that, too, if you haven't been doing that? Go back and listen to last, especially when we take a live show. A calendar month. A calendar month between releases.

Go back and make sure you download it separately and please up your donation to reflect the fact that you're listening multiple times. Otherwise, it's thievery and theft. It's stealing. I also want to say I just said, I'm ready to solve the puzzle Alex, and I should have said Pat, and I'm really mad at myself. No one says that. They don't say that? I don't think I'm ready to solve the puzzle Pat.

I don't think you may address his Pat Sejack by his name anymore. I think he would think that's threatening. Do they just say Mr. Sejack? Mr. Sejack, yeah. No, they just go a whole episode without even acknowledging that he's fucking there. They care about the bull. They care about their letters and their precious fucking wheel. But Pat Sejack doesn't get the time of day.

They say, pardon me, wheel, Lord. I'm ready to solve your riddle and save my family from the dungeon who imprison them in. Is Pat Sechak the wheel lord, or is he just like the mouthpiece for the wheel lord? So Pat Sejac is the lord of the wheel. He imprisons all the contestants' families before every episode and then makes them play to free them. But only one person wins, Justin. The one thing about it is that the right there's two answers two correct answers to every puzzle It's what the letters spell and also his true name right so if you ever answer his true name

But you have to get him to say it It's tough it's a tough game wheel of fortune People have only found so far three of the letters And they're more roons than anything And that's why he's aged over the time because, you know, he's immortal. Once you find those letters, takes about, I don't know, three years. Did you say immortal?

No. He's immortal. That's a portable immortal. That's somebody who can go somewhere and live forever. All right. That's good because we actually got all of our sort of diversions and, like, drifting from the story out of the way, like at the top of the show, which is super convenient. Now we can just like plot, plot, plot, plot, bullshit, bullshit. So here's the thing that I figured out that I want to, because I know that this is something that we,

were trying to figure out last episode, Griffin, tell me if I am right, because you have to. The reason that the general store was attacked was to steal fertilizer. That's correct. Whoa, Nelly! I don't know why I'm just like telling you that, but like it seems like such a...

Well, because we've been in this arc for like 27 episodes. Well, the bigger thing is it would have been a big clue back then when you like first saw it, if you had like investigated that. There, there have been lots of times where, like, you all investigated one thing instead of another thing,

and so there's, like, information you didn't have. But at this point, like, I think that that is largely, you know, you could probably, I think you probably just figured that out through context clues. I didn't, I didn't write down,

he stole fertilizer. Travis just sort of sussed that out. Who stole fertilizer? Uh, the goat man. Why? Yeah. Because they're trying to grow something, Justin. So let's...

I know, and I solve that one. This is turning into a, the adventure zone zone. So let's play the game. Monster of the Week. So let's pick up right after the great events of the last episode. You have now a Ryan Gosling on your team in the form of Billy, and you are still in Indrid's Winnebago.

Hey, I think that they were stealing fertilizer from the general store. Indrid looks shocked because you just sort of said this, like out of nowhere. It was almost like you were having a conversation with nobody. Well, you know, here's the thing. At this point, I think this will surprise no one, but Aubrey has ADD, much like myself. And so oftentimes I will have whole conversations in my head that I don't share with anybody and then just say the conclusion out loud. So I'm going to say that that is what has happened here. All right, for sure.

Indrid says, well, that would explain why Leo's store was targeted. We still don't really know why Juno was. targeted. But anyways, now that you can sort of take your turncoat friend here about town without fear of looky-lose, I mean, he does look like Ryan Gosling, which is going to attract quite a few looky-loos, but anyway, I'd recommend you get out there. Why would Ryan Gosling be, I think people see it and be like, no, there's no way. I mean, maybe he's doing sort of method research for the land beyond the pines too, I think it was called or whatever. And remember, you did agree, Indrid to let us borrow your special glasses as kind of a disguise for young Billy. I don't know if you

remember a month ago, but you agreed to do that. He kind of smirks and he says, so you, you want to borrow my glasses? Can I be straight? Here's the deal, Indrid. There's this big old cat in Sylvain that said he will make special stuff for us if we bring him certain things, and one of them was Sears' spectacles or whatever, that's you, give us some glasses. I'm done dancing around. We got a whole town to save. Give us your fucking specs. He says, please, please. He says, well, because you ask so nicely, and he slips off his spectacles, and instantly he transforms, and you all behold the moth man. And he is terrifying to look at. I think there is a reason why. sort of local mythos around the mothman sort of depicted him as something to be feared.

It is because his form is sort of traditionally terrifying. He has these huge eyes, these huge wings, a just sort of exposed to thorax and mandibles. And he is pretty upsetting to look at. Give him the damn glasses back. Put him back on that. You can wear the glasses. Take the glass. Do you have like a pair of reading glasses or sunglasses or stuff that you're not using?

Yeah. Any cool ray bands that we could just have? It might count. He slips the glasses back on and he says, I'll see what I can find. And from out. Hey, wait. Hold on. Let me look in your, let me look at your cupboards.

Hey, look. Found two glasses. Perfect. From outside as he slips his spectacles back on, you all hear the sound of, you all hear the sound of, of just like clanging and clattering, it sounds like trash cans are being knocked down outside. And you hear something fall to the ground. And like as he sort of slips his glasses back on,

Indrid looks to the windows and towards the door. And Indrid, like to this point, has been a sort of like ethereal stone cold sort of figure, like Stone Cold Steve Austin, just like not super emotional, but now like he looks kind of worried because he was just the moth man and something was there outside. Aubrey's on the move. Okay.

You bound outside. Ned and Duck, are you heading out there too? Ned doesn't really bound, but yeah, he'll kind of trail along behind. Yeah. Okay, as you all make it outside, you catch a figure, a, uh, a person riding a dirt bike. They are wearing a sort of puffy winter jacket, and they have on a helmet that is covering their whole head, and they are on this dirt bike riding into the woods sort of just beyond

the Eastwood RV park that you all are at. You all can sort of just see them starting to take off. Griffin, is there anything on the back of the jacket? There is. You can just sort of make out a sort of homemade, I think it's a homemade patch that, sure enough, looks like a Hornet flying in mid-sting. My old nemesis, that person from a bunch of episodes ago. That would be Keith, of course. Keith, the lieutenant of the...

Keith. I'd say we go where the action is, man. Yeah, absolutely. And that's Keith. Is Keith where the action is? Keith is the action. Keith, it's where the action is. Yeah, I mean, sure.

I'm Keith. Keith is the only action that appears to be present here. I mean, as you all are heading outside, you hear the moth man just kind of grumbling. And he immediately, he like instantly starts just like, it looks like he's passing. backing things up inside of his. Oh, no. Did we get the spare glasses? Yes, he managed to hand you a pair of spare reading glasses.

Congratulations, you got those. Was it worth it? Yes. We don't know yet. Fair enough. Okay, so you all are trying to pursue Keith. I think, Aubrey, you were sort of the first one to call this. Go ahead and, yeah, act under pressure as you are.

I mean, you're trying to catch up with a dirt bike, which is probably going to be a tough put. But let's see how you do. Oh my God. How'd I do? Not great. Aubrey got a three, all told. That's quite bad. Okay.

But, you know, Griffin, I learned something from my mistakes, and I'm going to pick up an experience point. You do pick up an experience point. Congratulations. Okay, you all run into the woods. I'm going to take a hard move here. I'm trying to figure out what that looks like. Okay. You all hear the sound of the dirt bike sort of like cruising deeper into the woods as you run out of the Eastwood RV Park chasing Keith.

And then you hear the sort of telltale sound of a crash in the distance. And you hear like a scream shortly after this crash. And it seems to be like it is a long, pained howl. And then you hear another sound. You hear a clang, like the sound of metal hitting something, and then the scream stops. I say we ought to run in the direction of the screaming that stopped. Yes, I agree. Okay.

You all... To action! You all find the dirt bike. It is sort of like crumpled into a fallen tree, and it's still sort of like faintly sputtering and dying. And then you see a clearing just be on that log and see Keith. And he is on the ground. His helmet is off. You can clearly see his face.

You see this lieutenant of the Hornets, which if you remember during the Lunar Interlude, was very antagonistic towards you. And then Aubrey used magic. And he kind of noticed that because of a bad role. And he is in a... he's in a bad way. One of his legs is, like, very clearly pretty fucked up. And he is unconscious and is just, like, bleeding from the head.

And the reason for that, you realize very quickly is the goat man standing over him. The goat man that is wielding... A goat man, Griffin. A goat man that is holding a shovel. and you put together that this goat man just knocked Keith, write the fuck out. Problem solved. You thank the goat man and head back into the city where you complete your quest and receive 50 gold coins. Now, is Billy with us?

Yes. Okay. Yeah, you guys have to like tell me stuff like that. Why assume wherever we go, he go? I mean, if you bring him with you. Yeah. Well, I think we brought him with us. We're in charge of him.

We need to keep an eye on it. Okay, if you brought Billy with you, the goat man turns and looks towards you, holding this sort of grizzly shovel as he stands over this human being that he just sort of destroyed and looks at this, like, new person that is with you and kind of cocks his head sort of curious. And Billy starts to like take slow steps toward the. goat man kind of like with his hands up trying to keep him calm. I say Ned takes the watch off of Billy's wrist. You just like pull it off?

Yeah, just stop him and just kind of pulls the watch off. Okay, as you do so, he transforms back into his goat man form. And now that like you all have sort of gotten to know Billy, you can kind of recognize some of the physiological differences between these two. like Billy is a smaller form than this goat man with the shovel is. And as you take off the watch and Billy turns back into a goat man, the other goat man looks confused at first, and then he looks angry and he starts charging at Billy with the shovel up. All right.

Well, I'm going to have to tackle the angry goat. Okay. Roll two, kick some ass. I wasn't trying to kick this poor goat's ass. Is it an angry goat an herbal thing? That's right, I'm gonna kick this poor goat's ass. I just don't know what else it could be. There is a thing and kick some ass about like put them where you want them, which I think

for a tackle would be like on the ground. Yeah, but I guess I'm still risking the getting hurt. Anyway, um, here it come. There it is. Hmm. That's a 10. Uh, on a 10, you and the goat man deal harm to one another. other. I think, I mean, with your tackle, you probably are just like dealing one harm, right? Because you're coming at him

unequipped. And as you do so, I think he just head butts you as you collide and he's got, you know, he's got some horns and that feels pretty awful. You take two harm, which I'm pretty sure is just negated by your natural armor. And you get to choose one. You gain the advantage, take plus one forward. You inflict terrible harm. You suffer less. harm or you force them where you want them. I want to force them where I want them onto the ground. Okay. You do so. Aubrey then takes that opportunity to move over to Keith and kind of holds her hands over him and says that loud. I would like the bleeding to stop.

Can you do that? There is healing in use magic. He'll one harm from an injury or cure a disease or neutralize a person, a poison. Yes. A poison. A poison. I want to heal a poison. Hey, your mox.

Look at this schmach. I want to neutralize him. Okay, so go ahead and roll your ball. A seven. Okay. Yeah, that is just barely a mixed success on a mixed success. Your spell works imperfectly. Choose your effect and a glitch.

Your effect is you are healing one harm from an injury. the keeper will decide what effect the glitch has. So the glitches are the effect is weakened, the effect is of short duration. You take one harm, ignore armor, the magic draws immediate unwelcome attention, it has a problematic side effect. I'm going to say...

Some of these are not like applicable, right? Like, why would you take one harm from this? How could this be a short duration? Let's go with draw unwanted attention. I love you, Travis. You're such a good, You're such a kind and giving brother. Okay.

You do this and the, I mean, the broken leg is like broken and there's, that magic is not just going to, this isn't Harry Potter with fucking a potion that makes bones like fix. But the head wound, it just kind of, it doesn't like seal up as much as it sort of instantly kind of like coagulates and stops, stops bleeding. The side effect of this is while you, while you're in the middle of. of doing this, Keith opens his eyes and just like, sees you point blank doing magic on him. And I think he's too sort of like stupefied to like do anything about it, but he, he sees you doing magic. Yeah, dude, I'm doing magic, saving your life, stay the fuck down. He just closes his eyes and he goes back out. You've stabilized Keith.

You have a goat man pin to the ground. Let me do something actually because we sort of have something established. about these creatures in an earlier episode that like it wouldn't make sense for them not to do here. The goat man that you have pinned to the ground does that like loud, shrieking bleat. And you heard that once before, Duck, when you sort of fought the one goat man in the woods

that made the other two appear. And as he does this, Billy for a second, like kind of turns towards you all, almost like he is losing whatever sort of peaceful part of himself. He realized when you showed him kindness, Duck, But then he like shakes his head and turns back towards the goat man. And he looks very worried as this thing sort of screams. And sure enough, the third goat man, the one holding the shears, comes charging out of the woods towards your party.

Now, Ned, I believe it's your turn in the action. What do you want to do? Did we, how far, and I know I'm not, Ned, I recognize that. I know that about myself. How far are we from Barclay's truck, which we used to get to the trailer park? I mean, you're, you know, you're maybe a couple hundred feet or so. I mean, you ran out of, you ran away from the trailer park and, you know, chased a dirt bike down. So, like, you got pretty far from the trailer park.

Ned. I think Ned is going to try to scare off the goat man with the. Sithe? Do you say it was Sithe or? Sithe. Shears. Shears. Yeah. I thought you were saying that Ned now had a side.

He reaches into his pocket and gets a collapsible sithe. I stole this from the Grim Reaper. Okay. How are you doing that? Just kind of running at him and just waving my arms and trying to make yourself big. It's a scaren ear. It's a goat. I'm making myself big.

He's a goat, for God's sake. He's not going to be that sophisticated, a combat. and he's going to be confused because he sees one buddy down on the ground. He sees another buddy who seems to be with these other people. He's going to be in a vulnerable spot. Sure. He's, yeah, you can tell there's definitely a sort of vulnerability there in this charging monster goat's eyes.

Would that be act under pressure or manipulate someone? I think it's definitely manipulate someone, right? You're giving them a reason which is like, hey, this is a confusing time for you. And I'm a big man who's like waving his arms around. We're going through a lot of changes right now. Don't you want to run away? Yeah. So Ned just does just that.

He just happens to be having, he has a big coat on. And he just goes running and making this, wow, woo, wow, who noise. Let's roll plus charm. It's an eight. All right. Success. So this is great. On mixed success, they'll do it, but only if you do something for them right.

now to show that you mean it. If you asked too much, they'll tell you what, if anything, it would take for them to do it. Hmm. All right, I stop. Roll play this conversation. I want earth. I think the problem with this breakdown is that we said someone and it's like a goat person. So I don't know how they can sign or signal to dad with body language. You know what? That's fair. There's actually a rule in the book that you explicitly can't do this with monsters unless you have like a special monster skill that lets you talk with monsters. Justin is right. I fucked that up because it says for a normal person, these are, these are, you know,

these are monsters. I think it would be act under pressure. So we'll keep that role. On a 7 and 9, the keeper is going to give you a worse outcome, hard choice, or price to pay. The price to pay is he's going to run into you, right? He's like charging at you at speed. You're going to take some harm.

but the bigger thing that's going to happen is you're standing right next to Duck. He is going to sort of get knocked over and they will go away, but both of them will go away. You will sort of lose your captivity on the one goat. So you can either let both goats go away or this isn't going to work. All right. It doesn't work. Oh, okay. It's going to be quite bad for you then. Okay.

Okay, he just charges you with the shears. And I really and truly doesn't, doesn't phase him at all. Okay. I mean, you didn't really think that one. I mean, no, I didn't think that one true. You can admit that's not your best plan that you've ever sort of done. Well, no, no, that wasn't. Can I, you know what, maybe maybe the sight of blood will scare him off.

Mine. Yeah, sure. Can I help out not like, I'm still, after all this time, not 100% sure. how help out works. Right, so basically if somebody's on the cusp, right? If somebody rolls a six or a nine, and you wanna get them up to the seven mixed success range or the 10 full success range,

then you can roll and give them a plus one on their roll. But that wouldn't really help if you guys an eight. That is correct. Well, then could I use magic to at least try to like divert the shears? No, I'm, no. This is the way the game works. Dad, you know, made the role he made

And I gave him a choice and he chose not to do it. This thing just sort of, it doesn't impale you with these shears. I think he just, actually, he doesn't. He wants to get you the hell out of the way because you can tell that this thing is charging at Billy. And the one that is on the ground duck that you were holding down, like you kind of did a similar thing to Billy. This thing is acting way different. It is like screaming and wrestling against you and like its eyes are rolling back. It is furious at sort of Billy's sort of existence right now, and the other one's doing the same thing.

So as it's charging you, it doesn't impale you. It just sort of like holds the shears by one handle and slashes at you. And the force of the slash like knocks you out of the way and you are also hit for too harm as it sort of just slashes you across the chest. And I think there's like a puff of down that comes out of your coat as this thing sort of cuts it open. Okay, so do I add that to the other two harm I already had? You should have been back at zero, I think. Good, right? Okay, too hard.

Yeah, we had some time. Yeah. Okay. Aubrey, now I think it's... Oh, gosh. Oh, shit. Damn. That did not work.

This thing Bushido blades ned to the ground. So the situation as I understand it is right now, I'm over Keith. Keith is at least... Unconscious. A little stabilized and unconscious. Yeah. Keith is fine. I'll give you.

Like, you used your action to get Keith to be fine. I'm not going to, like, cheat you out of that. He's, he's injured and he's in a bad place, but he's not going to die. Okay. I'm going to use magic. Okay. And I'm going to use force or wind. To at the goat man's legs.

So this is your, this is your magical attack, right? Correct. Then you just roll the kicks of ass. So you roll plus weird and then we'll resolve it from there. Wow, damn. The good rolls. Aubrey got a 10 on that roll. I got a 10.

Okay. You blast this thing. How much harm do you do? With the... Give me your tags. Like you got blast. You have not used to magical attack in a while. Plus one harm forceful to a base.

and my base is two harm. Okay. So. All right. So this is three harm, right? Yep. Okay. You get an extra effect, right?

Because you rolled, you got a 10. So you can gain the advantage. Take plus one forward. Give one to another hunter. You inflict terrible harm, plus one harm. You suffer less harm. Or you force them where you want them.

I'm going to say force them where I want them because I want to knock him down. Yeah. I mean, you're going to do that. You step in the way of this goat man and, he tries to do the same thing to you that he did with Ned, but like write as the shears sort of slash against you for too harm, which I think you block some of, right, because of your magic vest. Yes, correct.

So I take it out your hands. And like just as he comes in contact with you, I actually like the image of you, like, holding out your hands. And as he's, like, charging you, he, like, finds himself slowed by the wind that is, like, coming out of your hands. and just as you like lay hands on him, he goes flying. Is that kind of what you're wanting to do,

just like knock him away? Yeah. You knock him away and he just, he fucking goes, dude. He goes, he goes flying into the distance and you actually, he is like flying horizontal. He collides with a tree sort of backwards and bins kind of around the tree a bit.

And you hear sort of, a crack as he does so, and then he falls to the ground. Oh, goodness. For three harm? Yep. Oh, golly. This thing is a, this thing is a minion, so they are not going to be the heartiest of, of fighters. Okay.

Billy, I hope that's okay. Can you help me with Keith, please? Billy looks kind of stunned for a second and starts to like walk towards his feld former companion. And then he like, again, is kind of like shaken out of like whatever primal instinct he seems to have. And he starts to walk over to where Keith is lying on the ground. Duck, we got to like resolve this because you are still on top of this thing. And now like that it just saw one of its its companions go down, it is like, it is freaking out. It is starting to, it is starting to fight against you for real, for real.

I want to try to punch it in the head so it goes unconscious. Okay. No sword yet. I mean, I'm not, Beacon Singh Sheath. He would love to get up in this, I'm sure, but I am just going to, I'm just trying to knock this thing out. I mean, this has to be kick some ass, right? And I think if you do like enough unarmed harm to it, it's, you can, you know, elect to

make it unconscious rather than just kill it. I feel like I should have some sort of advantage. I feel like if you're laying on top of something. Yeah, I'll give you plus one forward. I think you set that up with your, well, no, because you didn't really choose that with your former, right? If you had chosen, you gained the advantage and take plus one forward, I'd give it to you, but you didn't.

That's fair. So fuck off. This thing's bigger and stronger than you. So it is not unreasonable that I could just like kick you off and run away. Okay. Well, holy shit, it's not going to do that. So these fucking rolls, that's a 12. That's a 12 on that one.

All right. I like how you say these rolls, but I'm looking at this line, Griffin. Yeah, there's a 10 and a 10 and 12. There's also a 7 and 8 and a 3. Yeah, three is the three was rough. Okay. Yeah, you two deal harm to each other. I think...

I picture them headbutting each other. No, I think what it is is this thing does get the upper hand for a second and kind of like rolls on top of you and punches you and you take some harm that is just negated by your armor because you're awesome. And then you roll back on top of it and clobberate. What's your extra effect here? I'm going to take one forward. Or give plus one forward to another hunter?

Sure. That's the one. All right. This thing is looking pretty like pretty beat up at this point, but it is not, it is not quite unconscious yet. I'm really struggling because I feel like interactions with Billy, I've humanized these things a lot more, and I'm really struggling with this fight because I feel like if they were just monstrosities, I would already gotten, you know, a little bit of the snack of snack, you know. I mean, I don't hate that, right? Like, these things have been sort of vilified since the, you know, the 80s when they first started showing up in Kepler and they have been. sort of dealt with with extreme prejudice. And for the first time, you all kind of, like, turned one.

So, like, uh, this, this being doesn't seem to be as amenable to, uh, peaceful talks as Billy was, but, but, this one can't chill probably has zero chill on this one. Yeah, we should have a chill rating for these monsters. Okay, this one is zero. Billy is chill as hell. Um, chill A-F, this one is, is not. Now, Griffin, are you sure you want to use zero chill? Yeah.

All right. See, like, we're getting... Like, this is as low as the chill-gettrip. Yeah. Okay. The beast monster that absorbed forest animals and tried to murder you as, like, in the form of an eight-foot bear, that one had no fucking chill whatsoever. Okay. So this is like a four? It's like a four.

It's like a two-chill. Okay. This is a two. Okay. Wow. It's a big scale. Ned, I think it's you. Uh, because all you've done so far is get stabbed.

So... So... Dragon. So, other than bleeding in somebody's face, Okay, so is duck still holding down the goat man? Yes. Okay, then Ned, he's going to use the chicane cane and whack the goat man in the head. Golf swing?

Okay. Yeah, it's going to be, it looks like it's about a par three. Sure. Okay. So he's just going to rear back. I mean, for one thing, Ned's a little mad because he's wounded. And besides... And it's not like it's, you know, a really brave move because he's being held down.

Yeah, okay. He's basically attacking, you know, a helpless creature. Roll to kick some ass plus tough. Kick some ass plus tough, which is zero. And that would be... Shit. Oh, seven's a mixed success. You're fine.

Oh, great. Oh, great. More mixed success. Uh, on a seven plus, uh, you all inflict harm on each other. Um, I don't, I don't, this is not applicable. Duck is holding him down. You do a golf swing with your club before he can inflict any harm on you. I mean, he could pull a hamming or something.

Or the cane could break. Uh, no, this isn't like a, I can do something bad. This is just like how this normally works. You guys deal harm to each other. Um, he, uh, yeah, he, he, he, you, you swing this club down and knock him out. Okay. And what happens to Ned? He slips as he's, he's,

doing it. Yeah, you... My back! You twist your shoulder good. No, I don't think... I'm not going to deal any harm to you here. Okay, that's it. I mean, like, you have one goat man unconscious, one seemingly dead, and Aubrey and Billy are

dragging Keith back to the truck. I'm guessing to get him to St. Francis Medical Center. I know. We're taking him to the infirmary in the... I almost said Great Wolf Lodge, but he knows far too. too much. Okay. Isn't that more of a pet hospital though?

It is. So you'll have to deal with that. What else? What are the other two of you doing? Just taking off, going with? Yeah, well, so we should stick together, I think. Okay. What about the unconscious go man?

Bring him. Yeah, we'll just keep building our menagerie. Goodness gracious. Seems unnecessary. Yeah, come on. We're going to have to build a second basement. We should, uh, Oh, man, I hate this.

I don't know. Are there any, like, chains in the truck from, like, snow tires or whatever? We can chain him to a tree and come back? That's a good idea. Yeah, yeah, I'll use the chains. That's nice and humane. We could kill him, man. I mean, we could bury him alive somewhere.

What are we doing? Like, I, this is fine. You put him in jail. He's in jail. What? He's in Woods jail. He was in Woods' jail. We, like, chain him up.

We're not going to leave him here. We'll come back, but, like, I don't want him to wake up in the back of the truck. All right. Yeah, you chain him up. I have a great idea. I have a great idea. I want to put him in the truck, and I'm going to take him to Indrid. Let the two of them kick it.

See if he can get anything out of him. So, like, chain him up, but be like, hey, here's the goat. You're going to stay at my friend Indra's house. You chain him up, and I'm assuming you and Ned, like, this is a big thing. Probably need help. dragging his weight back to the RV park. You drag him back and as you all are sort of like getting loaded up, when you look inside the Winnebago, it is actually, it has been all cleaned up.

And Indrid is like unplugging the RV from the utilities hookup at the RV and he says, well, it's unfortunately, my time here has come to an end. Wait, where? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I've, I, I, you all don't understand how people in this world feel about me. And I, I, I, I, you all seem, uh, more reasonable than, than most folk when it comes to, uh, the, the beings from Sylvain. But that is unfortunately not true for the vast majority of you. Uh, I have been discovered before and only narrowly escaped my, my fate. So, do you mean this dude? Have this dude saw? And I point to like, broken leg.

unconscious guy. I can appreciate that you have apprehended him. Are you going to kill him? Well, let me put it this way, Indrid. He also knows that I do magic and that there are goatmen running around. So like, we're kind of all in the same shitty boat, you and I and all of us. So, like, I don't see us like just letting him go, Scott Free go tell everybody. know what I mean? So I don't think you need to move just yet. Are you talking about Keith? Are you saying

we're going to kill Keith? I'm not saying we're going to kill Keith? This is the conversation, right? Like, Indrid says, I, Aubrey, you're new at this. I have been in this game for a long time. And unless you're willing to put an end to this human's life, eventually the word is going to get out. And I am not going to be here when it does. No, that's fair. That's fair. Hey, listen, I got a question for you, though. Are you done with your bago, or are you going to leave that there?

What's the story with that? I'm going to take it with me on the road. It's my vehicle. Okay, well, listen, can we ask one thing of you then? Can you take this goat man with you and then just like take him far away from here and leave him somewhere where he's not going to do any more harm? I mean, like you all have adventures out there on the road. Maybe we could separate him from whatever it is that's running. in the show for a little while.

Might just give us a little room to breathe. I don't want to kill the thing, but maybe separating it is a solution. I'm not saying you gotta do like planes, trains and automobiles with the thing. Just taking 100 of fucking miles out of town and then let it go, bud. It's not a big ask.

I think you would realize that that wouldn't work just because these abominations can't be outside of the one mile perimeter of the archway. So like if he did this, I don't even know it would happen as he passed through the archway. Like, would the goat man just, like, turn to ash in his car? That might be an upsetting experience for Endron.

I want to actually back up because it felt like Aubrey was trying to convince him to stay, which would probably be a manipulate someone role. I don't want to just, like, you know, force him out of the story if you can make a case for why he should stick around. And it sounds like that's what you're trying to do. So I want to, like, give you the... I'm not going to back Audrey's play, though, if her action, her to be verb is Will Kill Keith. to keep Moth friend. I'm not saying I'll kill Keith.

Listen, I'm telling you right now, like, there's a lot on the line here. And frankly, we've already got, like, we've got Billy that we're covering for and gonna have to take care of. We've got, what's his face in the basement? Like, we're covering up a lot of shit here at this point. I don't think to murder has to be the only solution we've got.

Yeah. You're good. I think role to manipulate someone, the sort of stakes being like, I will take care of this. I will keep this. Holy shit! All right.

On a 10 plus, they'll do it for the reason you gave him. He nervously, like, tosses his keys up in the air, like, and catches them over and over again, and he says, okay, fine. I don't see any futures where I'm being drawn and quartered quite yet, so I suppose I can take your word for it, Aubrey. Absolutely. And I'll make you a deal, even, like, 48 hours. You know what I mean?

And if you haven't, if we haven't figured it out in 48 hours and you want to skedaddle, absolutely. I totally get it. Okay. I'll leave you all to it. And he heads back inside the Winnebago. Now that you are staying, though. He folks his head back out.

Yes? To Ducks point, could you, maybe, babysit. You're a goat man? Well, one of them. Just one, not the chill one. Not the chill one. He says, sure, I get bored. Great.

Let's have him. We're going to call this one Jonathan. Jonathan Gruff. That's fun. Yeah. So you take care of Jonathan Gruff. You've thought about that for a month, haven't you? No, it just occurred to me.

Oh, Jonathan Gras. Okay. Very good. And then the scene suddenly ends. Hey, everybody. This is Griffith from McElroy, your dungeon master, your best friend, and your personal helicopter pilot, hop aboard and mind the blades. Thanks for listening to episode 18 of the Adventure Zone Amnesty. I just want to say, sorry that it is late. While I'm recording this,

I don't even know how late it is going to be. We spent a lot of the last couple weeks working on projects. And then the sort of few days that I had set aside to finish the episode, Henry got pretty sick, and so I was hanging out with him. So that is why the episode's late. Sorry about that. And as we move into the holidays and we have some live shows coming up, I'll try to get the post-production shit back on schedule. But hey, for now, I'm going to stop apologizing and tell you about some of our sponsors.

Got some jumbotrons here. This one's for Pumpkin, and it's from Puppie, who says, Hello, My Love. I wanted to wish you a happy anniversary or happy month of depending on when you hear this. You're the most important human in my life and I am so thankful every day I get to spend it being geeky with you. You are the sweetest, kindest boy and you love me better than I could ever ask for. Love you puppy. You're the best. This one's an interesting sort of Schrodinger's cat because it does say the suggested time frame is our anniversary is at the end of next month.

And we're kind of close to the end of a month. So I'm going to say circle gets the square. Oh, no, we're not, are we? It's right in the middle of the month. Well, fuck. Here's a message for Derek, Christian, and Ripley. It's from David, who says, shout out to the dog pound. I love you guys. Hope you had a bomb birthday Christian. Derek, you're the best DM and most wholesome fellow.

Ripley, you wear the best peep suits and love your babies like a boss. To good times had and great times to come. My best to Greg and Rebecca on your child Porter. This may be the single most efficient use of a jumbo tron I've ever seen. Everyone got a fucking hand on this ball. David, this is, this is, you really got your money's worth. Congratulations. Thank you for tweeting about the show using the, the Zonecast hashtag.

If you do that, you might end up as a character on the show. We are entering like the last episode and a half or so of, of this, this monster hunt. We'll move on to a new one after that. And there'll be room for some new characters in there. So we also just appreciate a spread in the word. That is how we have garnered most of our audience. And we are so appreciative for everybody who has helped. helped get our show out there in front of more people.

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dot lye slash mackleroy mail all one word and get get the buzz and get the scoop all right that is it for this episode the next episode is going to go up on Thursday November 29th uh which we have a live show in Denver that day so it'll be up around Thursday November 29th so we'll talk to you then bye uh you three four five yeah if Keith count And I think Barclay's probably there too at this point. He's been six and... Thacker's there too, but I don't know if you count him. Seven, yeah.

All of you are back in the Pine Guard headquarters under Amnesty Lodge, and you have brought Keith to the infirmary. I'm just going to like, I want to support you, Travis, as a player and as my brother. I don't know. Stitching up like a stab wound, I think is within the realm of possibility. Setting a broken leg is maybe. not, but... Well, I assume we've got some, like, painkillers or something, right? Some kind of... Okay.

I actually... I don't think my goal right now is to fix him. Like... Jesus Christ, okay. You've got to let me play it out. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Okay, I think that I wanted to give you all sort of investigation time during this part, so if you want to, like, set that up, then I think this is the time to do it, but you all are sort of here and the, the The situation is fairly calm. I mean, Thacker's still in the panic room, and you all are eventually going to need to feed him

or whatever the fuck, but I guess you cross that bridge when you come to it. So Keith is still unconscious, so I'll just kind of standing around looking at him, I guess. You're all sort of praying. You're praying over Keith in this moment. All right. Amen.

Listen, guys, first off, great prayer. Yeah. I could really feel... Another good one. I could really feel a lore working in this converted veterinarian's office tonight. Secondly, here's what we got. I think things that are still lingering.

One, we know that Juno is involved somehow. I got to figure out what Juno's up to or how Juno's tied in to this whole thing. Billy, I need you, and I'm pointing at him. I need you to take Ned into the forest and show him what you're growing. and I'll give you you know some oats or whatever

Scooby snacks Scooby snacks yeah that I love that Pizza This is my this is my Pizza Gritty Scooby-Doo reboot 2018 Ned is Shaggy

Billy is Scooby This is I gosh Come on Billy Let's get that Let's get that art Twitter get that art into my box Post Hase Julia I need fan art of my dad is Shaggy

And this goat man is Scooby. And then we, and then. Aubrey needs to murder this boy. I think Aubrey, you're going to kill this boy named Keith. I'm not, I'm not going to kill anybody. So you're going to kill Keith. I'm not going to kill Keith. I'll take, I'll, uh, I'll go talk to Juno.

And then Ned, do you and Billy want to look, uh, check out the plant or whatever it is or growing up? Yeah. My mode is beanstock, by the way, if we're, if we're, if we're, put. Oh, that would be awesome. They're going to be cool. Or a great big Audrey. Feed me, Seymour.

Wait, that doesn't make any sense what you just said. I know it doesn't. Audrey was the plant. Yeah, but Audrey too was the plant. We already have an Audrey on our team. I'm Aubrey. Audrey. Oh, that would be confusing.

I'm saying it would be confusing. Okay. Yeah, I'll take, I will take Billy into the woods because it seems like the safest thing to do to go into the night's dark woods. and it'll give me some, you know, some opportunities and sing some songs from Into the Woods, you know, because that's kind of my thing. I would suggest, Aubrey, that as you deal with Keith, you bring in Jake Kulice, because it seems like they have beef and it might make the murdering go a little easier. I'm not going to murder him. You know, well, just, you know, at least be open to the idea.

Just think about it. All right. I believe that's, and then the scene suddenly ends. That's such a powerful card. Why have I never played that one before? It could have got me out of so many scrapes these past few years. No, I mean, I think what happens is Ned and Duck leave to go, and Billy leave to go do their respective things.

And why don't we just like stick with the scene of Aubrey now over Keith, who is starting to sort of be, be, what's the word I'm looking for? Rousing. Be rousing back to consciousness. I'm going to say that, too, in the meantime, I have, somehow like strapped down Keith's legs so that in his like waking up he won't like thrash around and you want it to be quick and painless. I'm not going to kill safe. Okay.

All right, Dexter. He wakes up. Put plastic down. Yeah. Go make a mess. He, uh, he looks kind of groggy. Hello, Keith. He says, uh, hey, what the hell did you do to me?

What's going on? Now, I, I didn't do anything. How are you doing? Bad? Yeah, you were attacked by a goat man, right? Is that? Was that real? Yeah, unfortunately that was.

Where's my bike? Your bike was trashed, Keith, I'm sorry. Goatman tore it up pretty good. He tries to get up and... I wouldn't. I mean, he immediately like wincees and says, Where are we? Is this a hospital?

Well, we're somewhere safe, Keith, but before... Before we get y'all fixed up, I need to talk to you. And I don't know why I'm falling into a West Virginia accent, except that you're doing it, now I'm mirror in it. It's intoxicating. It really is. I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing. You need to get me to a hospital.

You need to... Hell! Well, Keith, I would say at this point, I don't need to... do anything. At this point, you are the one who needs to listen. Do you understand? I think you need to do something here because he has started to, for sure, yell for help. He realizes he's been kidnapped. And of course, that's like the first thing. I'm going to do something I've always wanted to do in real life. Okay. Aubrey snaps her fingers and her right hand ignites in flame. Uh, okay. You're trying to like intimidate him. I don't think this is a

role. This would be intimidating for anyone. Yep. He stops his shouting and looks at your hand and he says, I fucking knew it. I fucking knew that you were doing something weird back up with the ski slopes. Okay. What is this? Well, that is a big question, Keith. And what it is is none of your goddamn business.

He, like, smiles and, like, immediately winces again and, like, reaches for his leg. And he says, listen, there. Harry Potter, like I... Aubrey starts lowering her hand towards his face. Okay. Okay. You're going to stop talking and you're going to listen. Now I'm here to do good.

I'm helping. Because imagine that if I weren't helping, you wouldn't have woken up. Do you understand me, Keith? He nods. And now, if you agree, I'm going to get a doctor and we're going to say, that you were in an accident, riding your bike down a hill, you broke your leg and hit your head on a tree in the fall

and we can get you all fixed up, right? But I want you to understand something, Keith. If you breathe a word of anything that you've seen, I will burn you from the inside out. Do you understand me? This is a manipulate someone. And it's a, I think this is like a, a pretty big one, right?

The damn good one. This is, this is, this is, uh, determining whether or not he's going to keep this secret or not. Uh, and so, and the thing you're giving him is not being burned alive from the inside out. Correct. Nope. Yeah. Oh. How much luck do I have left?

I mean, you still have luck. Yeah, I'm going to use a luck. This is very important. I would say this is, if not now. Right. If not now, then when? Because I could burn my luck. Yeah.

I could take a hard move here. could be pretty fucking hard. Okay, go ahead and mark it in the character sheet. I did. All right, you're over halfway through your luck. Does that also give me experience if you use luck, or is it like you use luck and it's an automatic success? It doesn't.

It doesn't. You don't get experience. It's a success. He takes a beat and he, I think his pride is like more than his pain, like keeping him from making this decision. He does not like sort of somebody Lord. power over him, but he says, all right, all right. You got to tell me, you got to tell me one thing. I won't

tell anybody. I don't want to get killed. I just, I just want to get back home and go to bed. Well, I probably should get to the hospital and get my leg fixed up first, but you got to tell me one thing, Aubrey. Was that the fucking Mothman? Don't be ridiculous, Keith. He, I think, slums back down to the table. And, um, and when he slumps back down, like the fire immediately goes out of Aubrey's hand and she just starts shaking. Like, you know, that like brave face. Cause like, I, I picture myself in this scenario of like, she was bluffing. I mean, I, I, I think that using her magic to hurt someone. Yeah, for sure. And so I think like this adrenaline then of like, thank God it fucking worked, you know, like, shaking and she slumps too

and like yeah pretty exhausted I just want to establish like for sure like like that it and it definitely does work like you you uh I think the next things that happen and they don't have to like happen on screen or you you get him to the hospital and he does as you say and does not put everybody on blast um let's do duck next

duck you uh when you go like looking for juno you realize she's on service uh on in the monongahela forest tonight uh and when you get to the Ranger Station that you all sort of operate out of one of the walkie-talkies has is like, she's not there. And one of the walkie-talkies has been pulled out of like the charging cradle where all the walkie-talkies are. And so you, you call out to her in order to find her, unless you all share some sort of

telepathic link. I think this is like the most narratively logical way for you to find her. and she tells you where she is. She is. She's in this like grove of trees just off one of the main paths through the forest. It's actually fairly close to the ranger station where you're at. It's sort of late evening as you get into the grove where she is. And there's, you know, bright moonlight overhead and you both are, she's carrying a lantern.

and you've got a flashlight and you see her as you walk into this grove. She's down kind of upset on the radio, and as you arrive, you see why all around this grove are signs of just petty vandalism. There's graffiti that's gone up on some of the trees surrounding you. There are chunks that have been crudely chopped out of a handful of pine trees all around this grove and you find Juno bent over a stump and she's laboring with something. She's using a claw hammer to try and pry these long copper nails, almost like these long copper spikes that someone has pounded into a stump. And she looks up at you as you enter the grove and she says,

Seems like we We miss quite the party here, Duck Yeah Yeah I hate to see this sort of thing It always bums me out She wipes her nose Like on her jacket sleeve

And gets to work Trying to like pry these These copper nails out of the stump again She says Probably those hornets getting up to no good Yeah Yeah You know about that

Here let me help you with those, let me give it a shot. Okay. And I want to try to pull one out, I guess. I'm not saying that like she can't, just that there's probably other things. Yeah, I mean, there's lots to do around here, yeah. Fine. Yeah, you, I mean, you very, I mean, it takes a bit, right?

There's, there's like a dozen of these, like, long, thick copper nails. Not like railroad spikes, more like sort of like crochet needles that have been pounded into this stump and you are able to sort of pull them out with this claw hammer fairly easily and she starts walking around picking up trash and throwing it into a bag she says I just I don't I don't I don't get it duck a bunch of kids going around coming into our forest and try to try to kill a bunch of trees what's older than they are and for what to now do you know as I I keep telling everybody it's it's not our forest It's their force.

We just keep it, you know, safe so it'll still be there when they're grown up and not a bunch of little idiots. But if they keep doing shit like this, duck, it ain't going to be here. I just, it boggles the mind. I don't, I don't remember getting into anything like this back in my, you know, teen years. Do you? Yeah, no, but, I mean, not in the forest. There's plenty of closed down places. We used to go into, uh, I remember we used to go into, uh, I remember we used to go into, uh,

altisers and remember that old department was like a furniture store we used to go in there because they kept saying they were going to reopen but it had been like 10 years we used to go in there

and get high and play a roller derby we would like with the uh uh or like roller hockey remember we put on skate you know how kids always get high

and play roller hockey teenager what do you want she laughs and she says I haven't thought about that and damn duck i can't remember how long i'm just saying we had a different we had a different setting but we're still pretty stupid i know but this this ain't just stupid duck this is this is mean and it just feels like folks are getting meaner generally speaking when i i moved down here from morgan town i thought i'd get you know a cushion from all that i didn't think stuff like that

happened at a town like this, I guess I was wrong. Uh, and she like walks around and, uh, uh, sort of surveys the damage to one tree that's kind of had some, some bark, uh, stripped off of it. Um, she says, I'm probably just, I'm sorry for being so, you know, nihilistic. It's just, I'm probably still shaking up from what happened back at the train. I, I woulda, duck, Doug, what's been going on with you? Gosh, do you know, I, think this is going to be hard for you to hear but other than just vandalism and and what all I think the the hornets are growing pot I think they've gotten a legal grow operation going and I've been trying to keep it quiet because if they knew we were on to them they would burn the whole thing to the

ground and other than getting some sparrows pretty heinously baked, it would also lose us a big lead and give us a chance to put some of them in jail for a real long time. So I've been trying to keep it quiet. She, this is when a duck's better lies. Yeah, I'm impressed. She says, well, I mean, I guess my next question is, are you sort of revisiting your stoner days? Because I got to tell you, duck and I I've hesitated to tell you this but I saw you walked into the ranger station one night and I don't think you saw me but you were having an animated conversation with somebody who I don't think was there and was that you did you just stumble across some of their stash and maybe dip into it or honestly uh if I got to tell you the truth do you know I'm I was trying to

get into character I've been you're going undercover with you're going on I got an undercover teenage identity It's It's Frick Richems I'm When I assume the identity of Frick Richems I'm trying to get under cover

With the Hornets So I can find their illegal Grow thing She reaches into her jacket And like just like staring at you Like takes out like a piece of gum pops it into her mouth and she says you are a truly miserable liar

Doug Newy God damn it! She laughs She laughs like such a good damn it She laughs and like finishes like picking up the The detritus all around and she says Hey when you're finished with With those nails

Would you mind taking them back to the station I need to sort of keep going around the perimeter See if I can't find something to You know maybe help with your investigation to take down those drug kingpins, the hornets. Yeah, do you know about that? I was kidding about that, of course. I was just having some fun.

But I did hear some of them talking on Facebook about you and how they were going to target you. like they needed to get you out of the way and it kind of freaked me out a little bit can you think of any reason anybody would want to get you out of the way or be targeting you like

for this I almost think this is investigative mystery right? It is in the club in this way possible yeah go ahead and roll investigative mystery sorry what skill does that go up against sharp

good god a 13 these 13 10, 10, 12, 11, 13. Yes, you do the like universe mind meme and know everything. Well, you get to ask questions, right? So let's see. You on a 10 plus hold two. So what happened here?

What kind of creature is it? What can it do? What can hurt it? Where did it go? What's being concealed here? What was it going to do? What's being concealed here, I think, is the way I want to go. Okay.

Hmm. The, I can tell you. And this is, I think this is you acting on like what you know, uh, about sort of protecting the forest. Um, the copper spikes that you're holding and the hammer that you're holding. It's like, it is like, uh, it's almost apocryphal. It's almost like a myth. Uh, but, but there is, you know, mythos about, you know,

know, pounding a copper nail into a tree is enough to kill it. And so, like, the thing that you're like a tree. Okay. Oh, right. And so the thing that you are holding in your hand, like, you remember that. Like, that just sort of jumps to mind from your memory as a ranger. I think the other thing that, like, you know is not being concealed is anything about Juno. She's not a secret crime fighter.

She's not a, you know, weapon of destiny. She's just your, like, friend and co-worker at the range of service. Oh, so that's like the weakness is the copper because we're finding a big plant thing probably. So... Just put it up on the table there. So why are they targeting Juno? To keep me from figuring this out? Okay.

Okay. It has future seeing powers, too. Got it. Okay. Okay. You do still have one more question, but I also, I mean, I almost think like one of these questions is also, was also kind of just answered. I'm going to use one more question. Okay.

Can I have all these nails? I mean, sure. You like, you got a project, you build in a deck on, oh, you live in an apartment. Are you even allowed to build a deck? I can't ask you another question. It's the rules. Yeah, you can have the nails duck, I guess. is, I mean, I guess it's sort of

pilfering from the, from the evidence. Can I be honest? I kind of thought the virtual camera would pan away after I said, can I have all these names? Okay, yes. I didn't think we need to continue to talk about the context and which. Yeah, sure. Okay. Let's jump to

Ned to wrap things up. You are wandering through the woods at night with Billy, your trusty goat friend and companion. What's what's this look like? Um, I was thinking that maybe we were driving. Um.

In what? In Ned Snowcat. Okay. I like that. It's the Snowcat Tucker Terra 1643 RE, 173 horsepower. Got a 7, 67 inch insulated eight-person cab. That seems like a lot. Heated exterior rearview mirror.

This is like the fucking truck from the thing, Matt. That's right. but it exists and it's mine. Okay, but I'm saying like, I don't know that you could drive one of these through the woods. Okay. Sure. You don't have to follow roads with a snow cat.

All right, that's fine. All right, you're driving. So we're driving, you know, and Billy periodically will point in some direction and say pizza. And that's how Ned knows where to go. Pizza means east. Duck means north I feel you All right

Yeah I think that You all kind of like Already did the convincing I'm not gonna make you keep doing that You already kind of convinced Billy to To reveal a little bit About what it is that they are growing

And I gave him back his watch So he looks like Ryan Gosling again Okay cool Ryan Gosling like grabs your arm As you are driving And says I love you, Clint, and I've always loved you. I've always loved you.

He says, he says, Doc, Doc, Doc. And, like, holds out of hand, like, stop. Okay. So I bring that big behemoth to a stop. Okay. The lights are still, like, on and shining down on the ground. And Billy hops out of the cab.

And, like, what is Billy, like, what is Billy wearing? Like, did somebody give Billy clothes? Yes, I've got him wearing the Chewbacca outfit. We maybe haven't answered this yet. And Ned doesn't necessarily have to be the answer of it. Like, this is more a group question, but where does... Where's Billy going to live?

You know what? No, I like that scene too much. We're not going to just, like, do it out of character. We'll answer that eventually. I want the, like, who gets to put up Billy scene. He hops out and... And he is wearing, I guess, the Wookie costume, which is nice and warm and also probably a little bit wet. And he is just kind of trudging through the snow that's still on the ground.

And every few feet or so, you see him stop and, like, brush snow away, like, looking for the forest floor. And he, like, beckons you to hop out and look with him. So Ned hops out a little gingerly because he's still recovering from the horrible stab wound that he suffered. It was more of a slash wound And go ahead and heal one harm from that Because time has passed And I think like it was not a very like serious wound And I think that you probably got fixed up

Maybe not to you You probably got fixed up in the infirmary also So go ahead and like get rid of one of those harms Okay And you know Is kind of following along in the snow behind Behind Billy Kind of looking around is this

I know I know Ned would be investigating a mystery. I know that's got to be what he's here to do. And because you have like a guide, I would definitely give you plus one for it on that role. Okay. But does he want to use it now or just continue to follow? We can use it to inform, we can use it to inform this entire scene. Like that's how this game works is like that you do this role and it sort of figures out what the scene's going to look like. So I definitely think that rolling it now is the way to go. Okay. So we're going to investigate a mystery. Okay. And And please, let me have a decent roll.

You can do it, Dad. 13. Good Lord. Okay. Now, that is with my sharp and with the one point advantage you gave me. Yes. I don't think that everything. I don't know if we've talked about this.

I fixed Roll 20, and now it's working for us in amazing, incredible ways. So that's a dope roll. So now you get to ask two questions. What happened here? What sort of creature is it? What can it do? What can do? What can hurt it? Where did it go? What was it going to do? What is being concealed here?

I will tell you, like, pretty much all these are on the table because you're, you are in an important investigation right now. I think, well, we have to have something to investigate, right? Yeah, I mean, you will, the investigation is you going around the woods with Billy and him showing you around. Then I think the first question would be what is being concealed here. Okay. Yeah, I have an answer to that. You and Billy sort of go around this clearing that you've stopped in and you're just sort of trying to follow his lead and just like brushing dirt or brushing snow out of the way and looking for something. And after a few minutes you do find something, your hand like hits something solid as you are brushing and it is thick. And as you sort of excavate it from the snow, what you see. is a root that is just kind of just barely sort of sticking out of the ground. Almost like it sort of reached up from underground and then poked back back down below.

It is, I mean, it's super thick. Like you can't, you can not wrap your hand around it. It just looks like sort of a tree root at the base of a tree, but it's like in the middle of nowhere. Um, this, this tree, like the bark on it is, uh, is like bright white. Not like a, uh, not like a white, uh, what is it? Like a cedar tree. What's, what there's, there's types of trees like a birch?

Yes. I don't know shit about trees. I don't know why I did this fucking art. No, no way. Um, uh, yeah, it is, but it's not like that. It is like bright white. And, uh, you find one of those. And Billy, like, Billy bleats and calls you over.

and he found another one. And then you all look around more and you find another one still. And what is peculiar is all three of them seem to be like pointing in the same direction, almost like you can triangulate if you like follow where they are pointing. You can kind of like follow the trail of roots that these things have. That is what is being literally concealed here by the snow. Can Ned save his next question? can he follow the

can they follow the roots and then ask a question when they arrive at wherever they're going to arrive? Yes, for sure. Billy starts walking on foot. I think the thicket here is getting like a lot thicker

so much so that your snow cat could not necessarily roar over it. Not only that, like it would be tough to follow this path of roots. I think it's no trick. The trick is to pick it apart

with a stick. Okay. See? I knew somebody would do into the woods. Yes, for sure. You're welcome. You're welcome. Okay, so Ned activates the security system on the snow cat.

Good night, Ned. Would you like a fresh cup of tea when you return? No, no, Michael. No, I guess Kit was money. Powering down. So Ned's whackin through the thicket with his sticket. And following Billy, who I guess isn't having quite as much trouble getting through. the brush, right?

No, Billy. Billy knows the way now. He is taking you through the thicket and you two are just kind of like, with some effort, like working your way through it and pushing past bushes and brush and squeezing between pine trees. And it's becoming like so thick that you can't, like, you can barely see the sky through the canopy above. And after a few minutes of working your way through like this, Billy like holds out an arm and stops you and puts a finger up to his mouth and then points just forward, just past the

thicket. You are sort of hidden from it, but you can see through the brush into the other side. And what you see is another clearing. Right away, you see one of the goatmen holding the shears, the one that you originally had assumed to be dead. He is, he looks awful. He is sort of slumped over this massive tree in the center of this clearing. And sure enough, you see like all of these white roots leading up to the tree. And they are sort of twisted and gnarled and form this like dome at its base, reaching up. And this thing is like redwood huge.

And it's not a pine tree, which is bizarre. You can tell this is a cottonwood tree. It is bright white all over. Its bark is bright white. Its leaves are dark black. Another thing that is sort of strange about this tree is its sort of like composition of its branches. There is something sort of symmetrical about the way that they split off. It looks more like a map of a.

nervous system more than it looks like a cottonwood tree. And this injured goat man is there and is pouring some bags of fertilizer on its roots and trying to tend to it as much as it can, but it looks like it is sort of like having a rough time. That is what you see. You still have one question. What can it do? Yep. The tree shutters.

And as it does so, the goat man and Billy, both kind of like snap to attention, and you start to hear this sickening, cracking sound. And as you look up towards the bowels of the tree, you see one still like particularly large bowel that hasn't like split off into this like very, very intricate pattern of symmetrical branches. This bow starts to split in half long wise. It is. It is. like it is tearing itself in half. And as it does so, it releases these spores, what appear to be spores. And as they start falling down on you, you actually realize that they are cottonwood seeds. And you also realize that this entire time, whenever these things have happened, it hasn't been

snow that's been falling on you. It has been the seeds of this massive tree. and as this bow splits and forms another sort of intricate pattern of these symmetrical branches, you hear a cracking sound immediately over your head, you see that an old dead pine tree has snapped and is falling right towards you. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artists owned. Listener supported.