The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Amnesty - Episode 2
Episode Date: January 18, 2018Our heroes take one step closer toward their joined destinies, and learn the truth about the woods outside Kepler in their own ways. Aubrey visits the Lodge. Ned shoots a fan film. Duck gets a visit f...rom an old friend. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz
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Previously on the Adventure Zone.
Duck, you see a vision.
You see a stone archway.
I ran into something out in the woods.
My buddy, Pete, we ran out into something in the woods, and he's still out there.
About the biggest animal we get in these parts is a good old black bear.
You got something way bigger in these woods.
You touch your finger to the back of the card.
It actually kind of explodes.
Just, come on now, I know real magic when I see it, fess up.
You thought you'd just go around blowing up skiing.
He lodge is all willy-nilly like that?
I'd be happy to talk to you more in the truck away from here, please.
All right, Aubrey, it's nice to meet you.
I'm Mama.
No, you tear it open, and it's an eviction notice.
Desperate times, call for desperate measures, get out in the woods, take some blurry fucking pictures.
I don't know, whatever people usually do to make Bigfoot stuff happen.
Ned, you start planning your next grift.
You are going to bring Bigfoot to Kepler.
So we have more scenes this.
week and I promise you guys are going to meet up and things are going to start. The mystery is going to
start to unravel itself. But before we get to that, just a couple more sort of set up scenes.
And our first one is with Duck again. Hi, Duck. I'm now talking to a fictional character,
so I'm not really sure how that works. That's actually weird. I'll just address you as Justin
Hello, Griffin. So, Duck, you have been following the trail of this thing, whatever it is, for an hour and a half now.
You've mostly been pursuing sort of the drops of black ooze that as they reach deeper into the forest, they glint off of your flashlight's light, making it surprisingly easy to follow.
And it's at this point in the forest.
We've been walking about an hour and a half.
You're well away from the trails and the lights of the town that you actually see another light shining in your direction from deeper within.
and it's low to the ground, it's beaming in your direction, cutting through the trees.
And this light is not moving.
What do you do?
I guess I approach it.
Okay.
You approach the light, and as you do so, your eyes kind of adjust to it, and this scene reveals itself to you.
The light you spotted earlier is actually a flashlight that is laying on the forest floor.
It's like half submerged in a little muddy patch.
and it was left on and dropped.
But what's more notable in this area is the forest floor itself.
There's large patches of the ground where the grass is just blackened in this strange pattern,
almost like it was burnt.
There's big splotches here and there of burnt, you think, grass.
And each of those splotches have a few smaller lengths of,
burnt grass extending off of them.
And there's another sort of strange thing here, too, and that's, there's just like no sound.
The sort of ambient sound of crickets and frogs and the occasional hoot from an owl,
there's none of that there.
The night has become just completely still in this place, which is why it freaks you out
all the more when you hear a voice.
that you haven't heard in many, many years, say,
Duck Newton!
The moment of your destiny has arrived!
And there, standing before you, is a presence.
And it's a presence you first saw some number of years ago,
and that's something that we're going to have to figure out together.
She, like you saw so many years ago,
She has no real features that you can make out.
She's just sort of this outline of a person made of this faint blue light.
She's roughly about six feet tall with a long neck ending in a large, seemingly bald head,
and that's all that you're really able to make out looking at her.
And I guess it's time that we talk about sort of Ducks visions that he gets as part of The Chosen,
which you and I had kind of briefly talked about.
and you gave the okay on sort of being represented by this person that would visit Duck from time to time.
Let's take this moment actually to talk about sort of Duck's destiny, which sounds a lot like Duck Dynasty.
Yeah.
Yikes.
When did Duck sort of first become aware of his role as the chosen?
When was like the last time you saw this vision?
Because it's been a while.
on his 18th birthday.
Okay.
And it happened for a while after that, I mean, a few weeks.
And then maybe occasionally after, you know, once or twice a month, but I think, I feel like they kind of became.
The way I'm seeing it is they were, it was like very clear at the beginning.
And then the longer it sort of went on, the more sort of ephemeral and maybe almost dreamlike.
Were they dreamed?
Were they coming to him in dreams or just actively?
No, no.
I think maybe that is what he has convinced himself.
But I think it's closer what your friend describes.
It was a presence that visited him and said these things.
And then, you know, I think that eventually, you know, over time, you can convince yourself of a lot of stuff.
And I think he sort of convinced himself that they became.
that it was just that it was just that just dreams.
I love that idea of it being dreamlike and that like this happened so long ago.
Because we should also talk about, you talked about Duck being like not like a kid, like older than 20s.
Yeah, like he's mid-40s now.
Mid-40s.
And so like it's probably been long enough now that you've kind of convinced yourself it was just a dream or something.
But that probably makes it even all the more alarming that here she is again.
and she says,
There is no more time to delay, Duck Newton.
Events have been put into motion that require your immediate action.
All right.
And I'd turn heel and start walking away.
Duck Newton, wait.
I must know if you've been training your body to achieve and maintain peak physical capabilities, Duck Newton.
Well, you know what?
I did try that crossfit.
Darren opened up one of the cross-fit places.
They do bait during the day and then during the evenings.
They got cross-fit.
Bait and cross-fit.
And I tried it.
I'll be honest.
And did you master this martial art of crossed-fit, Duck Newton?
Well, the first class was free.
But honestly, the way my schedule is sometimes,
I didn't think I'd be able to dedicate as much time as it required
to really make the membership pay off.
You know how it goes.
This vision sort of disappears and reappears like right next to you.
And now she's like looking you over.
And she says,
Where is your chosen weapon, Duck Newton?
Where is the instrument of your destiny?
I, uh, you know what?
Honestly, it kind of creeped me out.
So I, uh, I had a friend hold on to it.
It was kind of just, I'll be honest, it kind of wigged me out.
You know, I mean, my, I don't know, I'm not even going to say I have a design aesthetic, but, uh, weird, bendy sword doesn't exactly fit whatever it is that I'm, uh, trying to, trying to achieve. You know how it goes.
She says, Duck Newton, I know well of your hesitance, but you must know that I have waited long enough. It is now the time, and you hear a sound in the woods, just like several dozen feet away, you hear the snapping of a,
a big branch, and then you hear this deep, monstrous sigh.
And then another and another, like, steady breathing now, and it's moving closer to you.
And this vision says, Duck Newton, are you in danger?
And then the vision disappears.
What do you do?
I feel like there's a lot of this stuff that is, I would, I feel like whatever, unquote,
abilities Duck had have become rather rusty.
But I still feel like his maybe stuff is better than it would be for a regular person.
So I feel like he has an ability to sort of like sense, yeah, danger, since enemies coming that go beyond what regular people could do.
So I think he kind of is able to train in on.
whatever is coming after him and try to read the situation.
You think this is a read a bad situation then?
I do. It seems like a bad situation to me.
Yeah, I would definitely say it's a bad situation.
One in dire need of being read.
Yeah, go ahead and do it.
Five three plus sharp.
It's nine.
Okay.
Mixed result. Hold one. You get to ask me one question.
What's my best way in?
What's the best way out?
Are there any dangers you haven't noticed?
What's the biggest threat?
What's most vulnerable to me?
And what's the best way to protect the victims?
I would probably ask, what's the biggest threat?
It is, I will give you two things with that.
The first thing you notice as you kind of turn your light towards the sound is you get a clear picture of this pattern of burnt grass on the ground,
which you couldn't really see until, like, you're being at your current position, shining your light over the whole of it.
and it's not just like random splotches of burnt grass.
It almost looks like the shadows of animals.
You can see kind of clearly like, they're all kind of jumbled up,
but you can kind of see like a deer, like a shape of a deer on the ground,
a couple of them actually.
And you see the shape of either a dog or a wolf kind of like sticking out of the mass of the pile.
And the other thing you notice,
that is sort of more relevant to you is that you faintly see the shape that pigeon described to you.
You see a hulking eight-foot shape that is moving towards you.
And as you shine the light in its direction, you catch eyes with the light.
I think actually you get two eyes, sort of where you expect eyes on this thing to be.
and very, very faintly, you also catch a couple of other eyes in places that maybe eyes shouldn't be.
And as you flash it, you hear this shape roar, and now it's moving towards you very quickly.
All right.
I raised the hunting rifle in my hands, and I chuck it at its head as hard as I can before I sprint away.
Yeah, so there is a fight thing.
This is absolutely not that.
No, this is not acting some ass.
Yeah, go ahead and roll plus cool.
Five.
Oh, it's duck.
Mark Experience.
You guys try fucking acting under pressure when a multi-eye demon is coming at you.
I don't blame him.
So I get to make a hard move because you fucked up.
Mark Experience, which is good.
Every time you fail, you mark experience.
Hey, experience.
Papa can you hear me an orange pencil out of that Highlander mug there.
Thank you. Learn from failure we do.
One big experience.
Goes down smooth, boys.
Let me tell you.
All right, here's what I'm going to do to you.
You throw the hunting rifle, so that's gone now.
You just lose that.
And you try to turn tail and run.
And you are just not fast enough.
You, this thing that is marching out of the woods.
collides with you, with, I think, just a big old paw, just swipes you and knocks you to the ground.
And you roll about 10 feet away.
As you roll a couple of your things also come off.
This is a price that you are paying for fucking up this bad.
First off, take two harm as you are swatted by this big, big monster.
Okay, so no harm.
I'm invincible.
What?
I'm invincible.
I always count as having two armor.
Oh.
That's a chosen thing?
Yeah, it's my, it's my big chosen ability.
I think, so like in fiction, like what is, what is that?
Do you just have like a magic sort of warding presence?
Or is this just representative of duck being like, I'm just, I'm just tough.
Like Buffy, you know, Buffy can take a lot of.
It's nothing like Buffy.
This is a new IP.
I'm not going to write any fucking checks.
All right.
You just is, it's not, why he's that very buffy?
Lots of people are difficult to damage.
Yeah.
He could just be buff.
No, he's no, there's no buff sounds.
There's not even a B.
It's just Doug Newton, guy who's hard to kill.
All right.
Yeah, you're hard to kill.
You get swatted away and you don't take any damage, but there is still a cost, and that
is, uh, as you roll, you lose your flashlight and your radio.
Man, I already lost a gun.
That seems excessive, but all right.
It's a hard move.
I can base, you are at my whims at that point.
All right.
I'm a fan.
Hey, who am I?
I'm a fan of your character.
Yeah, all right.
But this big monster is kind of a little unsteady as it charges into you and does this attack.
You like keeps going for a little bit.
And I'll say this, your flashlight as it lands kind of close to the other flashlight that was already on the ground, it is shining into this big sort of bramble patch.
And inside you see a scared face.
of a young man wearing some Coke bottle glasses and a blue sweater, and he's hiding out in this
bramble patch as the monster sort of charges. And the monster has its back to you for just a
brief moment. What do you do? I have nothing, right? You are essentially now unequipped.
What I love about this game is that it gives me so many more options of putting you guys in
legitimate danger.
And this is definitely one of those situations.
I'm going to...
I'm trying to think what he would do in the situation.
And the answer is he would not kick some ass, but kick its ass.
Kick its literal ass.
Kick its ass.
I'm going to kick it in the ass.
Okay, you kick it in its ass.
Normally this is not what Duck would be doing, by the way, but this is somebody who's visiting the park and they are in danger and he's not going to just leave him.
So he's going to kick this thing in the ass.
You kick it and it's ass and it very, I mean, you just do it.
And I don't think this is a kick some ass roll because it sort of has its back to you.
And it very, it like doesn't even register it really as hurting.
But it turns around quickly and now is facing you.
you have its attention with this sort of scared guest at the park hiding nearby, what do you do?
Are any of the items that I have misplaced?
Are any of them like within arm's reach, like where I could get to them before this thing
could get to me theoretically?
I think if you were about to like turn tail and run this thing away from this victim,
I think you could take a beat to pick up one of them.
rifle or the radio or the flashlight, but I would need you to roll, cool, I would need you to
roll to act under pressure.
All right.
You don't have to.
No, I'm just, no, I'm thinking.
I'm just trying to think what would be.
Let me also give you this.
The monster doesn't seem to see this other person as they are, as they are hidden right now.
Right now.
That could change, but this person's hiding.
Okay.
I'll grab the radio.
Okay, I need you act under pressure.
Hey, there we go.
Finally, a decent one.
I got an eight.
I'm going to offer you a hard choice.
Okay.
On a mix, which is something I can do on a mix success.
You can get it.
This thing's going to hit you again.
Yeah, I'll do that.
Sure.
Okay.
He's tough.
You sort of roll out of the way of one of this thing swipes, and as you roll, you grab the radio,
and then you feel something at your back as the monster hits you with another swipe,
this time for two damage.
And this time you go flying about 20 feet.
So you're not damaged, but you are now in the woods as this thing knocks you away.
And you scramble to your feet.
And now this thing is starting to pursue you away from this scene.
What do you do?
I turn up the volume on the receiver as loud as it'll go.
Okay.
As I'm running away, I start yelling.
Come in.
We got an emergent situation.
I have a...
God, all right.
Unknown assailant.
Are you saying this while you're sprinting away from the...
Yes.
I'm just north of the Cranberry River.
And I need immediate...
I guess air support.
I know it's going to be too long for y'all get out here,
but I'm sort of making an immediate egress away to the south.
Yeah, south.
I'm headed towards the river, so just follow the river and you'll see me.
Please confirm very loudly that you heard.
You are getting some static on the radio.
All right, I adjust the squelch knob, so I can try to limit that and get the signal unclear.
You're doing a lot of this in, I'm trying to figure out a way to make this fair,
because you're doing a lot of this in the dark while running away from a big bear monster.
Yeah.
So I think this is just another act under pressure as you are trying to like tune in on this, on this thing as you are running through the woods.
Seven.
Seven.
Make success.
Okay.
You hear a voice say,
uh, come here.
Uh, dark, come in?
And now that's, yeah, I'm here.
That static is, is getting kind of louder now.
And it's not like, this is another like national quiet zone thing where you do have trouble sometimes picking up signals.
This ain't that.
Like something weird is almost jamming the signal.
And you hear someone say, all right, we're going to sit out someone to try and find you, Duck.
I can't hear you, Doc.
And the price to pay for your mixed success is after getting confirmation on this, you trip over.
a branch and now the radio's just gone. You have no idea where it went. And this thing is still
pursuing you. And I think you're just running now in the dark for a while and running away
from this monster in the dark and there's, you can hear it close behind you and some branches are
whipping up against your invincible face as you are running and running. And eventually the sound
that monster gets quieter and quieter, and now it's just gone. And you are sort of safe. You feel
safe, and you don't have a flashlight anymore, but you're in a clearing, and the moonlight
overhead is brilliant and shining straight down like a spotlight on the center of this
clearing where you see that big stone gate. And we're going to move on to Aubrey.
Hell yeah.
Aubrey Mama is driving you down a scenic stretch of highway on the road out of snowshoe,
and dusk is falling.
And the leaves in the woods sort of lining the road that you're on have just begun to fall.
It's the end of summer, and they've sort of begun their natural patterns.
And you are relieved to hear that no police sirens are following you down this road.
And Mama notices you nervously looking behind you.
And she says, now you don't worry too much about the fuzz, okay?
I've got some pull with the owners of that hotel, that gaudy shithole.
So they ain't going to, great.
They ain't going to bother you none.
Well, that leads me to my next question then, I guess.
So are you going to kill me or what?
Is this like you're driving me somewhere and you're going to murder me kind of thing?
What?
Who the fuck are you, I guess, is now my immediate concern.
She says, I'm not planning on murdering you.
That's sort of not my.
That would be exactly what someone who was planning to murder me would say.
She kind of smiles as you say that, and she actually reaches one of her huge hands into her
duster's breast pocket.
And I think you get nervous just because of the context of this situation.
But what she pulls out is actually a small Ziploc bag that she sort of rips open with her teeth.
Weed!
And she reaches inside and uncurls her fist towards you to reveal a baby carrot.
And she says,
Doc says, I got to eat these for my ticker.
I figured your little buddy might be hungry.
I'm sorry, my little buddy?
Your magic rabbit, Dr. Bonkers.
Thank you.
Thank you for using his name and title.
He worked hard to get that Ph.D.
I think Dr. Bonkers, like, I don't know where he is, where you've got him,
but he kind of springs forward and is kind of resting on your arm
and takes this baby carrot and starts nibbling on it.
And she says, this is going to be kind of a strange question.
maybe, but you really are human, aren't you?
Yes.
She says, I did warn you.
It was going to be a strange question.
Fair.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Human.
Yeah, human on my mother and father's side.
Is that an option?
She laughs and she says,
yeah, you're going to learn a lot of stuff tonight, I think.
and one of them is that it is definitely, definitely an option.
What I don't understand is how you're able to use magic
if you don't know the truth of the matter.
Oh, well, it's a lot of flashpaper,
and these gloves have strikers in them.
Yeah, that's all great, but you...
We can't keep doing this.
It's going to make sense here in a little bit,
and you've really never been to Kepler before.
Not that I know of.
She says,
well, that's a shame because it's the best town on earth.
And as she says that, your truck passes through one last stretch of woods, and then the trees
disappear, and there's Kepler.
And you're on the riverside of town now, named for the lower part of the town's proximity
of the Greenbrier River that cuts across its southern border.
And the highway you're on turns into the town's main road, and suddenly you're passing
through this quaint little town's center.
You pass a building called the Cryptonomica.
You pass a local grocer, an arcade, a winter sports supply store, a pizza hut, a much smaller neighboring independent pizza restaurant, a library, city hall, and a bunch of other buildings that you can't really identify.
Is it fair to assume that the smaller restaurants are Giovanni's or?
Yeah, we can say it's a Gino's or a Giavani's.
Thank you.
And then you're driving through a few residential.
By the way, that's some hyper-local Huntington, West Virginia.
callbacks, but then you're driving through a few residential blocks before the road turns back
into the highway at the town's edge, but Mama takes a hairpin left turn, and now you're driving up
this winding road that climbs the face of the mountain, sort of to the town's north. You drive
under an overpass, and you see the town's finicular train with a couple passengers riding from
riverside up to top side, which the road that you're on turns into as you reach sort of the
end of the winding road's end. And now you're passing by the bottom.
some other buildings. There's the Kepler Ski Trails Landing, there's a few ritsy-looking
chalets in the cliff's edge and some alpine-inspired resorts. And then Mama reaches the end of the road,
and she turns one last time onto a small dirt path leading into a forest of pine trees.
And you drive through this secluded stretch for a half minute or so.
Okay, just real quick, I want to circle back on the not going to murder me thing, right?
Like, we could have stopped the Giovanni's back there.
That would have been fine.
She says, are you hungry?
You want some carrots?
No.
I can get you a hot meal here in a little bit, but, oh, not in a little bit.
And she rolls the truck to a stop and turns off the engine, and she says, we're here.
And where here is, where this truck is parked is in front of a large building.
At the end of this dirt road with a wooden sign hanging over the engine.
that reads, Amnesty Lodge.
There's a wooden plank path cutting through a charming, well-tended garden, and up to this geodesic
wooden dome that serves as the lodge's central lobby.
And branching off either side of that, that central hub, are the lodge's two guest wings,
which have sort of a natural log cabin aesthetic with these lamplit verandas peeking out of each room.
and Mama leads you into that lobby where a few guests are seated in handcrafted wooden chairs.
One is reading a newspaper, a couple are laughing over a game of chess.
One is dusting the surface of a piano.
In the rear of this lobby is a large open space with windows looking outward into the woods,
with dining tables scattered about with chairs sort of stacked upside down on top of them,
as dinner service isn't really running right now.
There's a cutout window in this dining space into a small kitchen.
There's this kind of faint smell of sulfur in the air, and you notice that there's a small sign hanging in the entrance to one of those guest wings directing guests to a hot spring behind the building.
And there's a large hearth in the middle of this room, and it's unlit, but just being in this building, just being in the Amnesty Lodge, you feel warm.
And a young blonde man dressed in snowboarders gear comes running out of the wings towards the entrance.
And Mama intercepts him and says, well, don't go out tonight, Jake.
I need you to make up a room for our new guest.
Jake Coolice or whatever his name is?
Yeah, it is Jake Coolice.
And he flashes a hang ten.
And he says, no problem, Mama.
And he retreats back into that guest wing.
Oh, I hate him.
Who is that?
You hate...
Nobody hates...
Jake Coolice.
I hate...
When you say that,
every but all the guests
look to you with a start.
Did she just say she hates
Jake Coolice?
I was just kidding.
It's...
Whoa.
Hey, this is Dr. Harris Bonkers.
Who can diffuse
any situation.
Dr. Harris Bongos is kind of
always, like, go-to,
like, did you see this rabbit?
Yeah.
Uh, mama says,
so, uh, are you, uh,
are you hungry?
I can see if Barclays around
to whip you up some food.
Um,
You know, let's talk about my hierarchy of needs.
Uh, right now, I just kind of want to know what's going on.
Um, then burger.
She, uh, she says, yeah, that's probably a good, uh, order operations there.
All right, well, first things first.
Oh, actually, I need a bathroom first. You know, long car trip.
First thing I do when I get to hotel.
She says, uh, yeah, all right, you can use the one in the lobby.
She gestures over to a bathroom door with a toilet sign hanging on it.
She says, go for it.
But then I promise, I'm going to explain everything that's going on.
Aubrey goes to the bathroom and comes back.
Just no one ever goes to the bathroom and stuff.
And so I just...
I thought you were setting up some sort of...
No.
Aubrey makes a bomb out of bathroom supplies.
Just in case.
Aubrey goes to the bathroom and comes back.
It's a natural human function.
Mama says, how to go in there?
It was great. Thank you for asking. Now, what the fuck?
She says, all right. Well, first things first. Hey, Danny, I need you to see something.
And the guests reading the newspaper puts it down and you see sort of a young, earthy-looking woman, kind of crunchy, looking woman with long, blonde hair.
And she's looking up from the newspaper and she's staring at you, Aubrey.
And Mama walks over to the hearth in the center of the room and she pulls.
pulls away this great surrounding it.
She says,
All right, Aubrey, show us what you can do.
And I mean, the real stuff, not the flashpaper stuff.
This is very important.
And I know you're going to try to dismiss it at first.
Is Danny cute?
Yeah?
Yeah, I think, I mean, does Aubrey find her cute?
I feel like that would be, I don't know what.
She does.
That's why I asked, because I want to know if Aubrey's nervous or not performing in front of Danny.
Okay.
Then yes, absolutely.
Okay. Because I kind of think, like, in a very traditional, so basing this off of, I'm very inspired by Harry Dresden for this, a lot of like the Dresden kind of magic and magic in general is like inspired by like emotion and channeling will and emotion, that kind of thing. And so one of the reasons I think it sparks for Aubrey while she's performing is, you know, that rush of endorphins of like in front of a crowd and the nervous.
I think that's really rad. I also think if we make that canon that your emotional state sort of affects your magic, I'm going to, you can use that in some cool ways, and I'm going to also use that in some cool, maybe bad for you guys. That's why I picked fire and blast and all of that, because I think Aubrey is very emotional, very reactive, and I want that to be part of it. You know what I mean? Because I also think, as you said, it can be both beneficial and detrimental. The term very emotional feels kind of weighted. Not very emotional. That's not very emotional. That's that.
what I mean. She is
hard on her sleeve, open.
You know what I mean? Like, whereas
I think Nottie Eye plate is
like very introspective,
you know, that ain't Aubrey.
So if you're using your, you're just your basic
fire magic, I think this would just be your
move, right? Your spell slinger
thing. We should make it clear
just for the future that the
spell slinger has essentially instead of
like a main attack, they have a magical
attack, but that is different from
use magic, which is a sort of
contextual, there's a bunch of different effects. But if you're like trying to set something on fire,
I feel like it would be the spell slinger's like fire attack, which is what you've got.
Am I doing my plus weird role then? It's definitely going to be a plus weird role. I guess the
question is, is this an attack on the fireplace or is this a magical effect? Well, okay, I think
first time out, Aubrey would cheat and use her like magician shit. All right. Well,
then you don't roll plus weird you just do it oh it's a six no i'm saying you don't have to if you're
not using your actual magic if you are using flashback and this this is something we should also set in
stone if you're just using your if you're doing a trick i don't think it's a magic roll i think it's just
you do i think it's just you do it um so you produce a a bit of flash paper with your with your spark gloves
which is like the way that you are accustomed to doing this and just a little flash of a flame
appears and hits the logs in the center of the hearth and it doesn't really ignite.
And Mama kind of sighs and she says, no, Aubrey.
Yes.
Not the David Copperfield shit.
I'm talking about...
Ew, gross.
Okay, not the...
You go to Copperfield?
No, it's just that was the first thing in pop up in mind.
I'm talking about, Aubrey, the real stuff.
Okay.
Um, real...
magic, okay?
So I guess Aubrey like
stares at the fire and like starts, you know,
doing the deep breathing stuff.
But it gets interrupted because Danny is cute.
Yeah.
Um, oh, okay, that's fairly good.
That's, uh, nine plus two, 11.
Uh, okay, then I, I think,
I love this picture of Aubrey just like with her hands extended.
This is not,
she's not doing sleight of hand right now.
So she doesn't know how to cast actual magic spells.
So she doesn't really know how to produce it.
It's like that scene in Spider-Man where he's like, go, Eb, go.
It's like that where you don't really exactly know what to do.
But I will say following her moves, just from habit, she's still moving her hands the same way she would conjure fake.
Okay.
Because she has to use gestures, foci and consumables to use spells.
Well, what I think the great resolution to this is you catch Danny out of the corner of your eye and you get a little nervous for a second and then a big blast of fire appears in your hands.
Yes, very much now.
And with that, I think the fire is perfectly contained, almost like a, it's a blast of fire that sort of occupies just the space of this hearth.
And suddenly the hearth is a blaze.
And Danny kind of sits up in her chair when she sees this.
And Mama says, so, uh, so.
Danny, what do you, what do you think?
Holy shit.
Yeah.
She says, Danny, is this what I think it is?
Did you do that?
No, Aubrey, you did that.
Holy shit.
She says, so Danny, what do you think?
Is this what I think it is?
Did you see that?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Danny says, yeah, it sure seems that way.
And Mama nods, and she swiftly walks to the front door of the Amnesty Lodge, and she
bolts it.
and she turns back toward you.
And now everybody in the lobby has sort of stopped doing what they're doing
and they're looking at you.
And Mama says, all right, Aubrey Little, what do you want to know?
Hey, everybody.
This is Griffin McRoy, your temporary dungeon master, your best friend,
and your guy who's almost got his voice back, which I'm very excited about.
Thank you so much for listening to The Adventure Zone.
It is the second episode of our Amnesty Mini arc.
Thank you all so much for all of the
excellent feedback that we've gotten so far about amnesty. I worked really hard on preparing it,
and it makes me so excited that so many of you are enjoying it. Just as much as we are,
we are all, like, kind of in love with this one and in love with all the characters that the
boys made. And it has so much promise, and this is kind of exactly why we are doing these
experimental arcs. So it makes me really happy that it's working. I want to thank everybody who
has been tweeting about the show using the Zonecast hashtag. I've got a couple characters in this
arc that I am naming after people whose tweets I saw using that hashtag like Danny, named after
Danny Mezaya on Twitter. Thank you, Danny, for sharing about the show. I don't know how many more
characters we're going to get in this arc with custom names, but please keep sharing the show,
especially if you have friends who have never listened before and you think might be into this
setting. I sure do appreciate you. Spreading the word because we don't pay to advertise the show at all.
We only have this big, awesome community and audience that we have because of you all, because you
have been so excellent at sharing the show and telling your friends about it. And we really,
really appreciate it. Thank you to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. You can go to maximum
fun.org and check out all the great podcasts there. They have awesome, free shows that you're just
going to love, stuff like Lady to the Lady and George.
and Jesse go and stop podcasting yourself and the Beef and Dairy Network and so many more.
And if you want to check out more stuff that we do, you can go to mackleroyshows.com where you can
find not only all our podcasts, but all the, for instance, video stuff that me and Justin do
over at Polygon, like Awful Squad and all kinds of stuff, all there just waiting for you
to explore.
Haven't mentioned this in a while, but we're working on a graphic novel adaptation with Carrie Peach to be published by first second of the first arc of the Adventure Zone.
Here, there will be Gerblins that's coming out this year in July.
You can find out details about it and get a pre-ordered going.
If you go to theadventurezonecom, it's shaping up, and we're really excited for you all to be able to read it.
And I think that that is it.
We will be back with another new episode in the Adventure Zone Amnesty next Thursday, January 25th.
So if I don't see you before then, I will talk to you then.
Bye.
Ned, it is nearing dusk, and you're out in the Monongahela National Forest, and you brought your big boat of a car.
What is it?
A Lincoln Continental Mark 3?
Is that what it is?
It is a Lincoln Continental Mark 3, 1958, biggest trunk space of any American.
You bring that big car to a halt in these woods, and you kind of survey the scene.
There's nobody around.
You're probably driven off the trail a little bit to get somewhere where you will not be really interrupted while you do your work.
And speaking of that big trunk, what's in it?
Because I want to know, what are you doing to stage this Bigfoot thing?
What kind of junk do you have in your trunk?
Well, I want to know specifically, like, what are you doing to create this Bigfoot exhibit?
because I don't want to paint you into a corner if you want to like cast some big footprints or you want to take a fake picture.
I love the wookie costume idea and we did set that set that up in episode one.
But now that you've had a little bit more time to think about it, what do you, what are you doing to get this big foot exhibit?
Well, obviously I'm going to try to fake a little bit of footage.
I've got these very, very heavy boots.
And it's an old.
They were originally just great big snow shoes.
Yeah.
You know, but he has attached to them this kind of mold.
So it would look like a great big paw print, but it's going to be huge.
So you're wearing that and the wookie costume?
I've got those on.
I've got the wookie costume on.
I'm sorry, purists, but I did not bring the bandelier.
I thought that might throw some people off.
All right.
I love this.
I've strapped these great big.
boots, like snow shoes with the handles cut off, and these big latex things to look like giant
footprints. But I mean, they're like, you know, they're like 20 inches. So I'm not going to be
able to move real fast. And I'm, I've got a, I've got a camera. Yeah, I think it's, I think it's
probably Kirby's camera that he used this for the paper that he loaned out to you. Right. And I've got it on
a tripod and and uh and i've also uh brought along um i had don't ask me how but i had a this big
that has you know that i i went and got right directly out of the uh out of the cesspool in the
back uh in the backyard and it's just filled with this nasty sewage smegg of stuff why
well just bear with me and i've got it in this great big big
like gallon. He's making big foot, dooky.
Jug. I'm making
Bigfoot scent. The spore.
The spore is going to be on the
wind tonight. Jesus. Christ.
So I'm spliced.
Yeah, let's see the marketers create
something out of that. Yeah.
Anything else in the trunk?
Well, my walking stick, but I don't
think that would be a very good idea for me to
carry my walking stick.
All right. Well, let's say you're setting up the
camera and you get it sort of
angled towards like a
a thick patch of these pine trees.
They're just everywhere.
It is sort of the defining arboreal characteristic of Kepler are these tall pines.
And you get a good sort of angle where, like, you could be hidden a little bit because you still want that air of mystery.
If the footage is like Bigfoot right up against you, then it's pretty easy to be like, oh, that's bullshit.
So you set up that camera.
And I don't even think we have to roll for it.
I do just want to play it out, though.
So like, what do you do?
So I set up the camera and I can't make the buttons work while I got the gloves on.
So I take the gloves off.
It's really hard because it's a very complicated cameras.
So there's a lot of, damn it!
So finally, I get the camera.
I've got it on a video setting.
All right?
And I pull the gloves back on and I walk a – and I set at a stationary point.
I've already, you know, sprinkled probably half of the cesspool, the bigfoot spore,
musk, whatever I'm going to pretend it is in various locations around there.
And so I step out of frame and I'm getting myself psyched up.
I'm thinking back on my dramatic training, you know, and I'm kind of singing to myself to get my,
you know, the way is clear.
The light is good.
I'm getting all pumped up.
and then I roll my shoulders up and I kind of hunch up and I start to lumber.
You know, I lumber into the shot and I walk around and I'm making an effort to keep my face kind of away from.
Are you wearing a mask?
Are you wearing a wookie?
Oh, yeah, I got my wookie head.
My wookie heads on.
I got the wookie head on.
I've used a little bit of makeup to like put weird markings on it.
And I've streaked the wookie for, I mean, you know,
It's not going to be so obvious as being like Peter Mayhew.
And I'm lumbering.
And I'm making a...
Do you get this?
I feel like we got the scene.
Do you get it in one take or what's the...
You get it in one?
Well, I took a one, but then I didn't like my motivation.
And I really didn't like the voice.
So I'm setting up and I'm blur it up a little bit.
bit. It was a little bit too in focus, you know.
So I take a little bit out of focus and, and I'm lumbering.
Here I go again. And I'm set, ready, and go.
And I lumber a little bit more threatening. Now I look a little bit more, you know,
bestial.
Got it. And I'm making a different noise. I'm trying out.
Let's say that's the magic take. You get the lightest, the lightest.
The lights, it's the golden hour.
The light is perfect.
I step out of the frame and I say, and scene.
And, and that's where we are.
I think you, you pop your mask off and you're looking at the footage on the, the LCD display on the back of the camera.
And you're looking at the footage and you're feeling pretty good about it.
It looks like, you did a great job of sort of making it visible, but not like too clear.
And you got your mask off and you're looking at this footage.
And it is while you were looking at this footage that,
you see a figure emerge from the woods.
You see a guy pop out from behind it, not pop out to like surprise you.
He's just walking, but you see him in, in front of you.
Could I notice him in the, could I notice him in the playback first?
No, I don't think he, I don't think he was that close to you.
I think he got good, clean, fake big foot footage.
But you see this, this man walk out of the woods.
And he's, he's tall and kind of burly.
He's wearing a flannel shirt.
He's got a scruffy.
beard. He's walking kind of slowly with intent, and he's got his arms stuck out. And you can see
dangling from his close fist, there's this chain with a faintly glowing orange crystal at the
end of it. And he's paying rapt attention to this pendant that he's holding until he spots you.
And he clumsily tries to sort of nonchalantly pull it back up into his hand to hide it. And this man
says, oh, hey, hi. Hi. Hello. Other other other person.
You're here, and that's great.
Hi.
Ah, hail friend.
What?
What are you doing?
What are you?
What, uh, why are you dressed up like Chewbacca?
It looks like maybe a little bit.
Um, I'm getting in on this fan film thing.
You know how fans make, uh, films, uh, to try to get noticed.
How, like, film studios.
Cool.
I love Star Wars.
Yeah, yeah, and so I thought, hey, make a Chewbacca, you know, fan film and maybe...
By yourself out here in the woods in the middle of the night?
Yes, well, you know, keep it streamlined, you know, keep it small, cut out the middleman, make yourself a ton of money.
At the very least, they may pay you a bunch of money, you know, to not put out the product.
So just a little YouTube folder roll.
This man looks kind of nervous.
just as you kind of didn't anticipate
seeing anybody out in the woods tonight,
you get the sense that he also did not anticipate
seeing anybody else out in the woods tonight.
And he says,
so are you planning on sticking around
for much longer?
No, no, no, no.
Deadlines and commitments, you know,
I've got to get back on my computer
and look at Variety.com,
and, of course, we've got editing
and post-production and everything else.
So, no,
I'm just going to put this equipment right here in my big old trunk and get the hell out of here.
He says, well, all right.
It was nice to meet you.
My name's Barclay, by the way.
What's yours?
Barclay, Barclay.
Hey, Barclay, Barclay.
Oh, the cook from the lodge, correct?
He flashes a smile and he was like, I don't remember seeing you at the lodge.
I don't know.
Yeah, I mean, that's my.
That's my job. What's your name?
You fixed me a Monte Cristo there once. Absolutely delicious.
Ned. Ned. Ned. Shican. I own the cryptonomica.
Oh, yeah. That's why I recognize you. All right. Well, it's nice to, I guess, formally meet you.
Now, you're going to leave, you are, you were just leaving, you were saying?
And as he says that from out in the woods, almost actually directly behind where you were filming your footage, you see a figure kind of skulking toward you.
And as it does, you actually see that crystal that Barclay is trying to hide in his fist.
You see it kind of shining through the cracks in his fingers.
And there's something wrong with this figure that's skulking out of the wood.
woods. It's moving kind of unnaturally. Its neck is like cocked to the side. It has this trail of
black ooze kind of streaming out of its mouth. And though it's moving, its face looks kind of
lifeless. But all that aside, you recognize this figure because you've lived in the
mountains of West Virginia long enough. It's a bobcat. Duck, you have walked these woods more
days than nearly every other living human being. You've been doing this long enough that you've
traversed all over. But for reasons beyond your understanding, you've never stood at this spot
and seen this stone archway. It's a humble thing. It's just two slabs of solid stone with a third
perched on top between them, kind of like the gates of stonehenge. And the moonlight is
shining down on it as the moon sort of reaches its zenith overhead, nearly full.
And the air is still, again, save for the sounds of that enormous being that just attacked you in the distance that's still sort of rooting through the woods.
But it's pretty far, pretty far off that noise.
And as you're looking at this stone gateway shining in the moonlight, that vision appears to you once again.
and she's several feet away from you
and she's investigating this archway kind of
curiously and she says
So this is your connection. Fascinating.
Sorry, I don't understand.
I think when you say that, you hear that monster
and now it's just a little bit louder,
just a little bit closer to you.
And this vision in front of you says
you are not ready to face your destiny, Duck Newton,
and yet you must.
The people in the world beyond this gate
will be your friends,
regardless of what the people of your world try to tell you.
See, right now I'm in a bit of a pickle.
I got a,
it appears to be some sort of monster, believe it or not,
kind of bearing down.
Bering down.
If you will.
So I should just head on.
Will the monster follow me through the gate?
It just looks, I mean, I don't.
No, it wouldn't.
I mean, and you just know that just because it's not big enough.
All right.
Well, that seems a good option is ending.
Do you have a permit for this, by the way?
I think she just disregards your question.
She takes a moment, almost like she's trying to process what you just asked,
but doesn't even understand how to begin answering that?
And she says,
Into the gateway, Duck Newton.
You will be brave, Duck Newton.
That is why you...
And then she's gone again,
and it's just you and the gate
and the monster in the woods behind you.
All right.
I mean, I guess I run through the gate.
You hear the sound of the monster getting louder and louder,
and you run towards.
this empty gate. As you do, the moon overhead reaches its absolute zenith. And where you could once
see sort of the forest beyond the archway, now you just see this solid plane of dazzling white light.
And it rattles you for just a moment, as do the sharp winds that are blowing away from the gate
in every direction. But you continue your approach with your hand nervously outstretched and
your fingers graze the light. And then we see the woods from above and we see this circle of
light retreat inward almost as quickly as it appeared until it is no more. And then we see that
clearing again and the air is still and the evening is quiet and the archway is empty.
Aubrey, what kind of questions do you have for Mama?
Um, so I, I, I can magic magic, magic, magic is real.
She says, yeah, Aubrey, what she did up there tonight was real actual magic.
So I guess that's the first big thing.
Magic is real because there's a place that magic comes from.
There's, I'm going to try to take this slow so your mind doesn't literally dissolve, but
there's another world, one that is connected to our own. And that connection, it's popped up in so many
places around the world throughout time. And right now, it's here in Kepler. And this other world,
Aubrey, it's an incredible place and a dangerous place. And us humans have been crossing over into it
for, well, as long as we've been around, I guess, and we've been bringing back stories.
and folk tales, which surprise, they're mostly true.
But that connection, Aubrey, it ain't a one-way thing.
They've been crossing over, too.
And Mama looks at the guests in this lobby, and she nods,
and they look kind of nervous for a second,
but then one by one, they stand up,
and they start undoing different accessories,
some bracelets, necklaces, a couple of them slip off rings that they're wearing, and one by one,
they transform.
And the two guests seated at the chessboard grow in stature and grow these thick layers of fur surrounding them,
and suddenly they're just werewolves.
And the guests that was dusting the piano turns transparent and spectral, and Danny's skin
starts glowing slightly, and her eyes turn this dark orange.
and her teeth become long and pointed, and you are suddenly standing in this lobby with a bunch of monsters.
Okay.
Mama says, you okay?
You're all right?
I know this is a lot.
No, I've watched movies and TV shows before, so this actually isn't as surprising as you might think.
She kind of laughs and says, most people don't take this as well, so I'm glad that you are.
Listen.
Well, it's one of those things where, you know, I...
I've always, you know, no matter how skeptical you are about like sci-fi and fantasy stuff,
there's also always like a part of your mind that's like, but maybe.
And so this is one of those things where it's like, yeah, okay.
Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure.
She says, so that's the truth of the matter.
Monsters are real.
But as is the case with so many of life's most profound curiosities, well,
there's a lot more to it than just that.
Barclay kind of has his arm at his side and his hand,
the one that wasn't holding the crystal.
His fingers are kind of stretched out,
almost like he's sort of giving you a stay back.
And he says out of the side of his mouth, he says,
walk slowly to the car and go.
Um, I ordinarily would...
Shh.
Right?
But you need to come with me.
me and get in the car.
The trunk is already open.
All right?
Just jump in the trunk.
And I'll get behind the steering wheel.
And we'll get out of here.
He says, okay, I'm going to start walking backwards slowly, and you do that also.
And the two of you start walking backwards slowly and...
Barclay steps on a twig that snaps.
And as that happens, the bobcat starts charging toward you.
And it's coming at you fast.
And Barclay looks at you and he says,
God, I hope you can keep a secret.
And he starts running towards the bobcat and he pulls up his shirt sleeve
and you see him untie a hempen bracelet.
And in the blink of an eye, this gentle, bearded man you were just talking to disappears.
And in his place is Bigfoot.
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