The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Amnesty - Episode 34

Episode Date: August 22, 2019

Storm and fury overtake Kepler, West Virginia. Pieces of an ancient puzzle move closer together. The survivors of Sylvain’s fall take shelter. The source of an unimaginable power is revealed. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously on the Adventure Zone. There are notes about the beast folk. According to the notes, just like used to be animals over on Earth, and then as they sort of spent time in Sylvain, in this alien world, quickly transformed into these new forms. Sylvain has become all those living on her surface would seek to shatter her body entirely in pursuit of their own survival. My name is Woodbridge, Minister of Preservation.

I ensure the survival of our kind in the wake of your world's countless ruthless assaults. And the interpreter turns back to face you and gives you a little bow and she says, yes, everything's okay. I just, God, she can't even pay attention for a moment, even in the presence of royalty. Your finger touches the cold, smooth stone

as Minerva's blade cuts through the air. For three quarters of one second, a veil is lifted. Minerva, the Sion, far from home, swings her blade through the air, and six gateways to another world are torn throughout the fabric of Kepler, West Virginia. The citizens manning the outposts around town prepare themselves for whatever lies beyond these rifts. But for three quarters of one second, Minerva finds herself uncharacteristically unprepared for what she sees through her portal. It is not Sylvain. What Minerva sees and the rest of Kepler sees, albeit with slower minds, is light.

And through the light shapes, lights at different depths. A chamber, antiseptic and cold, illuminated from below by a pulsating living dome of brilliant light, illuminated from above by a helix of beams of light, stretching endlessly up a cylindrical chamber. It is a world, it is a room that Minerva has seen before. just two short months ago, standing on top of the Green Bank telescope with her squire, and now, like then, pieces of a puzzle that she's been solving her entire life begin sliding slowly closer together. Literally and figuratively, the heroes of Kepler see the light. And through that portal, for three quarters of one second, they are seen in return.

Minerva's Svuyhander reaches the end of its arc and strikes the rocky ground below her feet. Like a television changing channels, the portal's destination shifts. And then the town is overtaken by storm and fury. Thacker, your ears adjust as if they've just popped due to a very sudden pressure change in this central chamber of the FBI compound. At least that's where you think you still are. You are surrounded by dark gray fog, which has seemingly consumed this room entirely. Your vision is restricted to just like a foot in front of your face. And you hear the sound of fighting and of yelling in the distance.

And it's almost just completely muffled. And you see no one. You can barely see your own hands. What do you do? I think he would call out and try to find the others. What do you call out? Hey, guys, gals, peoples. Hello?

Anybody there? It's me, Thacker. Thacker, Thacker. You hear your own voice muffled as if you're like trying to yell while you are underwater. and it's as you have that sensation of hearing your own voice being sort of drowned out by this cloud that you're standing in, that you remember that this is not the first time that this has happened to you before. And you start to feel yourself for whatever reason getting very angry, getting very, very upset.

What do you do? I think he's going to give in to it. I don't think he's, I think it's the quill, because it did happen before, the fog. Yeah. And he passed out. But then he started having all these visions and all those memories and all those emotions. And I think he might have fought it the first time. I think he's going to open himself up to it.

Now that he kind of has a little bit more of a handle on his psychic stuff. You're going to try to ride. You're going to try to ride the wave instead of swimming against him. extremely good. You're going to ride the wave. We'll see what, we'll see what comes of it. You feel how you felt just, you know, a few hours before when you were sitting by the river and you were trying to establish that psychic link to find out where this thing is. But now it's like, now it is more desperate. Now it's like, now it's here and you are here. And it's not just this intangible mental scanners thing. Like, it's in your lungs.

and you're trying to make the most of it. Why don't you, I would say this is act under pressure, but it almost feels like a weird, like it has to be a weird role of some sort, right? This is you trying to use your psychic stuff, which is like explicitly weird. So I think maybe it's like use magic or some, you know, amalgamation of that.

Or maybe it's one of your abilities. I don't know what all the seeker has. Well, there's one thing the searcher has called the things I've seen, When you encounter a creature or phenomenon, you may declare that you have seen it before. Yeah. The keeper may ask you some questions about that encounter and will then tell you one useful fact you learned and one danger you need to watch out for. Maybe right now. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, you've definitely, definitely had this happen to you before. A thing you remember, a fact that you will find useful. I think the thing that you will find useful is that you are susceptible to this stuff and you don't know if everybody else is. But this, this fog, this cloud is what makes people go berserk. But that's not all that it's in it. There are these visions that you saw just a few hours ago, these blood-red entities that seem to be hiding in the fog and are probably going to be the first troops. that come over during the invasion.

And that, I mean, that is also the danger. And I think thanks to that, you are able to see through this fog more clearly, and you can see some, you see one of these shapes. And it is walking towards a couple silhouettes. You can't make out who they are. But you see this blood red shape, almost like centipede-like, but like the size of a St. Bernard moving towards two of, the folks who were just in this room with you before Aubrey touched the archway.

Do you want to, you know, do you still want to try and tap into the power? Or is that the extent of like your psychic event here? I need to do something to help them. I need to warn them. I think Thacker would take off in a run. Okay. As fast as his old legs can carry him in the direction of the two silhouettes, waving his arms and yell on to the top of his lungs.

Centipede! Centipede! It's a great battle cry. Centipede! Duck and Aubrey, you both are in this fog and you are close enough to each other. Duck was probably flanking you fairly close when you went up to touch the archway. And so when this cloud arrived, you all were, you know, in. in arms reach to each other.

And like I said earlier, like it's so, it is so dense, this cloud that you can barely see anything beyond just a foot, but you can see the silhouette of the other person. You can see Duck's hat. And you know that he is there. But you cannot see too much else. You hear yelling, and it is so loud and so purposeful, and it is coming to your right. and it is seemingly a drowned out voice yelling centipede. I'm going to read a bad situation then.

Okay. Seems bad. Seems accurate. I don't know that it's ever seen more accurate than it does right now. Why don't you? And that's plus what? Plus sharp? Yes.

So that brings me up to eight? Okay, that is a mixed success. For a mixed success on readabout situation, you get to ask one question from the list. And we're in the finale now. I don't think we have to read the list every time. Man, it sure will be helpful, though, because I never remember what it is.

What's the best way in? What's the best way out? Are there dangers we haven't noticed? What's the biggest threat? What's most vulnerable to me? What's the best way to protect the victims? I'm going to go with, what's the biggest threat? That's a tricky question.

The biggest threat is... I didn't write it. You just read it out loud to me. That's fair. the biggest threat is this cloud. The biggest threat is this cloud because it is, you feel it trying to take hold of you, but you find for whatever reason your willpower is not even,

you know, weak enough to be tested like that. And like this is the thing. Is it Aubrey specific? Yeah, Aubrey specifically. Like you feel like this thing has no, you have no power over me, weird, cloud full of centipedes. And it is the transit system through which, like, the other horrors and nightmares that

the quell is capable of producing, you know, it's, it is how they travel. It is how they get to where they are going to go. Now, yeah. I want you to know, I actually read a bad situation with ulterior motive to open up my third eye. Okay, you open up your third eye. What's that mean again? So when I take in extra information, take plus one hold on any result of seven or more.

Plus, you can see invisible things. You can see invisible things. Okay. Yeah, you see this centipede. You can see it through the cloud. Aubrey, you just got like cloud vision. Like you can see, you don't even see this cloud anymore. You just see the archway and you see duck nearby kind of squinting his eyes and you see Thacker

charging at you yelling centipede. You see behind some crates near the door into this room. You see Barclay and Mama and Agent Stern. And, you know, they're trying to look around for what's happening too. And you see the centipede right in front of you. Can I tell that Aubrey is locked on? I mean, can I, do I... Yeah, let's get Duck in the...

Yeah, I think Aubrey says, like, Duck, look out. Giant Centipede, 2 o'clock. This is, by the way, this is... This is seconds after you just touched the archway. And you're not exactly sure if the plan has gone off without a hitch, but this is not like, you know, joining you in Meteores. This is you touch the archway and then boom, here we are. Oh, bada bing, bada bada bough.

Yeah. Can I make out where the thing is? Like, can I? Yeah, I would say, I would say with Aubrey's help and it is so close to you now. And maybe you just would have seen like a shadow and not known what to do with it. but Aubrey has like clearly outlined for you where it is and what it is and what it's, you know, what its intentions are. So, yeah, you can see it.

It's intention is to date my daughter. So I remove Beacon and try to strike at where the center of the thing probably is. It's thorax, I believe. Or is that the album? Yeah, thank you. Yes. Roll to kick some ass. Some thorax.

Roll to kick some thorax. Oh, that's a 10. Hey, natural 10. Plus. Oh. Uh, two. 12. You don't have that advanced move.

Did you take it? We never did those, really? I mean, you take them on, you take them on level up. It's one of the things you can take on level up. By the way, you guys missed a lot of roles last episode, and I have not been tracking your EXP for you, and we're not going to have another chance to level up. So it's just like, if you got one, holler, and we'll have to do it sort of midstream here. I'm about halfway to one.

Okay. You may need to go back and do an inventory between episodes. Why do that one? The beloved listening public will do it for me. Did your hero, Duck Newton, level up? Please. Text us now at 1-999. Tweet at me. But first see if other people already did, because you don't want to be a jack about it. Okay, what is it? As you approach this thing with beacon drawn, you can see its shape completely. How do you strike it? And then we'll choose your extra effect. I just say, I don't know, fuck it. And then I swing it right down to where I think the middle probably is.

Best of luck, partner. I don't know, bud. Just do the best in there, right? Okay, what is your extra effect? You gain the advantage, take plus one forward or give plus one forward to another hunter. You inflict terrible harm, you suffer less harm, you force them where you want them. I'm going to do plus one forward to Aubrey. I feel like a little extra oomph.

I feel we're going to need a little extra sauce to put this thing down. Okay. Yeah, all right. You bury Beacon into this thing's midsection and you hear it scream. And as it screams, like Thacker, you feel like

somebody just kicked you in the head. It is a voice that you know and it's a voice that, you know, for a time, like, came out of you. And just hearing that, having that like disassociation like like just it is it is it gives you a searing headache just for a second uh you see this thing rive in pain on the floor uh and where you cut it you start to see it like fold backward on itself and new sort of uh the new legs start appearing from the wound

trying to stand up uh you duck as it uh as it makes these new legs one of them is just like whipping around wildly and it catches you across the face and you take too harm. Okay. But you don't. Don't. But I don't. But you don't. Because you have a very strong.

It's so powerful and cool. It just glances off your iron-like face. Old hair face. Damn it. It still hurt. God damn it. Okay. Aubrey, you have plus one forward.

Thacker, though, you were kind of next in the order. Do you want to try and do something else? I'm going to try to pin it to the ground with the spike in the walking staff. Okay, you wipe off some of the dude blood from it as you draw your walking staff. You're just going to sort of, you know, dragoon this thing or what's up? Yeah, just kind of swing it over my head two-handedly and just wamp it right into the ground to hopefully pin it in place. Okay. Why don't you roll two kicks a ass?

That would be a nine. Plus tough. Zero. Oh, really? Duck, can you do anything to help him out? Yeah, I could, with my attack, I could, you know, try to, I could say I stunned it a little bit, you know, not made a little easier to hit. Yeah, I already have plus one forward from the third eye. Yeah, yeah.

So maybe take that move, you know, put it where you want it. Yeah, I didn't realize he was next to the order. I would have directed it at him. So can I just say I did that? Yeah, sure. You give plus one forward to, uh, well, Wurrette. on that. You give plus one forward to Thacker, which brings it up to a 10. On a 10 plus, I'm guessing you force them where you want them, right, if you want to pin into the ground?

Yeah, I would think so, down being the direction I want them to go. Okay, same thing. This thing, you jab hard into the ground. And again, like, you're standing on the grass surrounding the archway, so it is not difficult for you to get, it's tough for you to get through this thing's Kiten or whatever it has. And it's not hard for you to like pierce into the loam below. And sure enough, you get this thing stuck into the ground. And then like a half second after you, you pierce through this thing, these, these tendrils whip up out of its back where you stab through and just start like wrapping and tangling

around your arms. And as you pull away, you feel this like horrible stinging sensation and you take too harm. Except I really do. Except you really do. Okay, but did it succeed in pinning it to the ground? Oh, yes, for sure. Aubrey, what do you do next?

I'm going to blast it with fire, I think. Okay. What does this look like? Aubrey, two-hand, you know, like full-on blaster style. It's just like, going to shoot some fire at it. Just iron-manning it? Exactly. All right.

Roll and use magic. Well, that's a sick. and then I have minus one, right? Because I'm using magic. Makes it a five. No, no, no. It's just plus two is your magic. Well, sure.

I was doing my math differently. But basically, that brings it to an eight or to seven, but yes, eight. And then plus one forward a nine. And I will say that everything that, that your buddy Thacker just did, pinning this thing, this immobile centipede to the ground, I think that handily brings it up to a to a by the way i'm guessing this is an oversized centipede right we're not like all trying to hack up this no that's the weird thing it's like one inch it's so weird it's a little guy no it's it is uh st bernard sized uh yeah you you you have no problem just nuking this thing uh and as you do

it just turns into this bright red just sort of gelatinous not like it's not like um it's not like blood. It is way too bright and, uh, like, gooey for that. Uh, you see it just like splatter, uh, across the floor inert. And when it falls the, uh, the storm in like a pretty good radius around it. So like most of this room just kind of gets pushed away, just gets kind of repulsed, uh, away from where this thing fell. And when it does, it sort of reveals Agent Stern with the rifle out. And he like, you know, reacts with panic as suddenly you appear and there's this red, like splotch on the ground and he says, did you all

took care of it then? Instead, put the gun down. Stern, gun down please. He lowers it. Thank you. And just past them, you see Janelle, who is similarly like trying to get her bearings

as you all appear. And Mama stands up and walks towards you and says, was that, was that it? Yep, quail's dead. We did it. I don't think that was the quail. Damn.

That was Lil Quill. I loved his latest album. You see that red fluid now start scooting across the floor, just sort of, just sort of, you know, rolling over itself, trying to make its way back into the archway. And Mama looks down at it and says, yeah, I don't think you actually did it. I don't think it's done. But I burned it with fire. I put a box on top of it. Make it go into a jar.

Yeah, you can do that. There's a crate. We've established there are crates in this room. I put a crate on top of it. Yeah, you grab one of the crates not filled with plastic explosives and you just put it on top. And now the crate comically, like, is trying to scoot closer to the archway and... I sit on it. Yeah, Barclay sits on it. He's like, you have places to go.

I'll do the crate sitting. I'll fall on this grenade, everybody. I know, it's heroic. We could just put a second crate on top of it, Barclay. Like, you don't have to... No, no. This is my sacrifice to make. Don't you take this moment for...

from me. But there's like 100 crates in here. It's beautiful. Our own fucking palum and pourum right here. Touching. How dare you? How dare you conjure that image? You know.

That's our second Final Fantasy. The Final Fantasy tragedy reference in the finale arc, yes. Mama says, okay, well, I mean, we don't want to risk it. More stuff might be headed this way. And, you know, we gotta have just another point of control here. So I guess me and Agent St. and a very relaxed barclay are going to take this point. Are y'all going to be okay on the other side?

Well, I mean, we have no way of knowing that. I hope so. Oh, yeah. It's right up here. Tap an old noggin for you, for those of you listen on something else. It's all up here in the old noodle. I can get us there in one piece. Don't you worry about it, sport.

Yeah, we'll just all go with this guy we've known for three days. It's going to be great. Mama says, it's all right. He's with me. Okay. And Agent Stern walks over to the corner of the room and comes back over to the three of you. And I think to Aubrey, because you are the person that he knows the most. You all live together essentially for a year.

He holds out this black case. And it's open. And inside you see that same kind of orange brick that he warned you all about earlier, the explosive simtex. and it seems to be rigged up with some kind of like handheld remote and he closes it and hands it to you, Aubrey, and he says, just in case. Now, just in case, if you bring this back and you don't use it, I am going to have to take it back. But just in case you need. I feel weird holding it. This is terrifying.

This is terrifying. I mean, someone else can hold it if you need to. I mean, I'm pretty tough. I can hardly need me too. Hey, listen, Stern. She's highly flammable. Yes, I appreciate, but one of the three of us is known to spontaneously catch fire. So, it's not great.

I'm going to hand it to the adult duck and let him hold it. Thank you, though. Hey, thank you. This is going to prove very helpful, I bet. He says, yeah, you know, just in case. Oh, it is a case. It is a case. And we have a good 30-minute-long laugh.

You hear a, like, screaming... The world ends. You hear a screaming, like, roar. Several of them, actually, in the distance through the thick canvas of this facility, coming from far off in Kepler as other outposts sort of wage war against whatever's coming through. And Janelle says, we really should go, don't you think?

It seems like maybe your friends... are in danger. Hold the line, Mama. We'll be back in one piece, probably. Well, hopefully three pieces. Well, yeah, I meant individual. Okay, we go through the gate. The twice locked door of the Kepler Sheriff's station rattles and cracks against the weight of the bright red hordeaux outside. Sheriff Zeke Owens, alongside Detective Megan and Deputy Dewey, catch glimpses of the terrors through cracks in the boarded-up windows. They number too many to reliably count, let alone take on in open combat. Everyone in the sheriff's station knows this. Nevertheless, the resolve does not falter. Detective Megan fills the chambers of two service revolvers, counting her ammo with care.

Sheriff Zeke retrieves every box of shotgun shells from the station's safe and orders them in a neat pile. He pulls the ring of keys from his belt and slides open a cell door. He enters and kneels down beside its occupant. I'm sorry I haven't tried to be more here for you. I've been trying to just, you know, give you some space. I was, I was there. I know it was an accident, but I just assume that's probably not enough for you to let yourself off the hook. Am I right, pigeon? Pigeon is sitting on the floor, wrapped in a thick wool blanket. She nods. I can't pretend to know what that feels like, Pigeon.

That guilt is going to ride you like a dog for the rest of your life. And I can't imagine the weight of that. But I do know loss and I know what it can do to you. Make you feel like your life's not worth nothing. That all the joy and pleasure in the world is. been locked away, not just not an option for someone like you anymore. I know that feeling, Pigeon, I swear. Pigeon looks up from the floor, teary-eyed. Detective Megan enters her cell and hands her a cup of coffee. Now, normally you'd need to take yourself a bunch of time before you

can get yourself back up on your feet again. I get that, but we don't really got that kind of time. So he leans down close. One day, believe it or not, you're going to laugh at a joke. You're going to go swimming and you're going to smile in the sunlight. You're going to pet yourself a good dog and it's going to make you feel happy. You ain't always going to feel like this pigeon. Other people maybe, but not you. And how do you get there?

How do you get to that point? I don't know. But you are going to get there. And we're going to keep you safe, okay? Sheriff Zeeke cocks his shotgun and nods at Detective Macon, who says, Hit it, Dewey. Dewey smiles and hovers to the front door, manifesting with all of his power, he undoes the locks and throws the door open.

After y'all! Crimson beasts and clawed horrors clash through the open door, flooding into the station, charging the three humans at the rear of the room. Zeke leaps forward, grabs the bars of the jail cell door, and slams it shut, trapping himself, Megan and Pigeon inside, and the beasts outside. They press against the bars trying and failing to reach their prey. Pigeon climbs to her feet. Zeke aims his shotgun.

Megan cocks her revolvers and shouts, Welcome to Chicago, dipshits. Thacker and Aubrey and Duck with Janelle in tow emerged. through the archway and into the pavilion where this arch is kept under watch by the city guard only nobody's here and as you look around the town below you you realize that that nobody is here in sylvain at all and the town hasn't been destroyed the the homes and the businesses and the temples and the restaurants like they're all still standing in relatively decent condition uh the like crystalline lamp posts that line the main drag are still illuminated. And the only sign that

something is off is the absence of, you know, all of the sylvan's and the knee-high layer of that dark cloud that is just everywhere. It is all over the town within the walls borders, and it is just sort of like slowly shifting across the ground. And Janelle points in the distance and says, we're going to have to find a way over to the castle. And I don't know about getting back into that fog again. Anyone have any ideas? The main road is what gets us here. That's the direction we have to go in.

So are you suggesting we fly or what? Can we fly? I don't know if we can. I do not know if we can fly. It's pretty much a straight shot to the castle. Aubrey got any wind powers? Yeah, sure. Aubrey, like, claps her hands in front of her,

trying to make a big blast of wind to blow away the fog. See if that works. Yeah, I mean, I just cannot see any reason why you would need to roll for this. You can generate, you can do magic. This is not a particularly difficult thing. How, like, what's it look like? She definitely closes her eyes first. This is the first time back in Sylvain since she touched the stucer.

closes her eyes, he says, hi, magic, it's me again, it's Aubrey, we're trying to get past the fog so we can stop the quail, which I assume you want to happen to. So if you could help me, I'm going to blow away the fog. And then she, like, puts her hands out to her side and, like, makes a big clap in front of her. As your hands collide, you hear somebody respond to what you just said. You hear someone say, please, please, please, please, I know I've failed them. I know I'm a fraud. Please. If that's you, if you're there anywhere, please, please help me. Hello? Do I recognize the voice? Yeah, you recognize the voice because you've heard it before. You've heard it in your head before. It is Alexandra. It is the interpreter

who you have met several times now. You've had some, you know, weird connections with. You've heard her voice in the past. You've experienced one of her memories in the past. You hear her. You You do not see her anywhere, but as you cast this spell and dispel this wind all around you, you hear her desperate plea. Alexandra, can you hear me? There is no response to that. And honestly, it's probably kind of tough to think about maintaining a conversation because of what happens when you cast this spell. The wind displaces the fog in front of you and pushes it away.

effortlessly and like, you know, Moses parting the Red Sea, you descend the stairs and watch as, you know, for 50 feet in front of you, the fog parts revealing the road beneath. And it also reveals something else. It reveals, first you see like an arm coming out of the fog, and then you see like a pair of legs coming out of the fog and then you see just like, you realize there are bodies and they're not laying on the ground. They appear to be just sort of floating in the fog. You hate to see that. You recognize that some of them, some of them are like furry and some of them are not.

Some of them are just like sylvan bodies that are sort of starting to emerge and falling to the ground where the storm parts. and they start to move. And you start to see sylvan's and beastfolk alike beginning to move. You see shadows in the cloud starting to move towards you and move towards where you've sort of parted the storm here. Now, Griffin, this may be a silly question, but move in a normal cool way? No. Ah.

move in a animalistic, extremely like lethargic, like injured, but sort of unnatural way, certainly. Yeah, that's what, you know what, I could have assumed that, but I, okay. Yeah. Are they in, are they between us and the road? You have this, like, area of the road, this, like, split in, in the cloud that Aubrey has opened up where they are not. They seem to be like pushed into the cloud, but they are starting to close that gap right, right in front of it. It's time to run, folks. Let's fucking go.

And Aubrey takes off. I think act under pressure. Everybody act under pressure plus one for what Aubrey just did. But this, you know, making your way through this obstacle course of arms and legs that are trying to approach you and grab onto you, I think is, I want to see who is dexterously moving through this. I rolled a 7 plus 0 cool plus 1, so an 8. I rolled an 11 plus 2, 13. Hell yeah. Thacker rolled a 10, but he has a trait called Just Another Day.

When you have to act under pressure due to a monster phenomenon or mystical effect, you may roll plus weird instead of plus cool. He has 2 plus weird. That takes it up to a 12, adding the 1 takes it up to 13. I mean, you won with the 10. You just wanted to brag about how good and high your number was. He gets too so very rarely. Griffin, let him back this. Yeah.

Duck and Thacker, you all take off. Like, you all are, you know, effortlessly leaping over these arms that are swinging out trying to grab you. And you just cruise right on down Main Street towards the castle and the garden with the crystal in front of it. and yeah, you just have no problem doing that. Are you rolling for Janelle? Aubrey, you, no, I never roll. Aubrey, you are similarly like pretty easily making your way through.

And Janelle is like holding onto your hand. You realize that she's actually having a little bit of trouble moving as quickly as you're able to. And so you're trying to pull her along and you see her get grabbed by a couple of the hands and a couple more like grab onto her robes and try to start pulling her under the storm. That is the mixed success, is that you are, you know, no issue moving through, but Janelle appears to have been grabbed.

I'm going to roll to kick some hands. Okay. So that's a nine. Yep. But my top is minus one. So it's an eight. Oh, so you are, you are, not using magic, you were just using.

I'm kicking the hands that are grabbing her. Okay. Describe what this looks like. So still holding her hands, keeping on her feet. Aubrey's just hauling back with her, you know, with her strong right foot and just kicking the hand. You know, kicking the hand that's grabbing the robe, as they say. And I would say, I would say with the 13 Thacker can certainly pay a point forward because he went over 12. Is that how that works?

No, that's not how it works at all. Aubrey, you all look back and see Aubrey just start skanking it in the middle of this crowd. And you hear crunching and pummeling below your feet, Aubrey. But one of these hands grabs onto you and you feel like this sick, like right at your calf and you feel this like sickening kind of feeling just starting to course through you a little bit before you kick that shit away too. you take one harm, ignore armor. And with that, though, you managed to free Janelle, and the two of you catch up with Duck and Thacker, and you managed to clear this barricade

that somebody had built up in front of this garden here, and you managed to make your way out of the storm and into the crystal garden just below the steps of the palace. What do we see? And did we leave a slipper on the steps of the palace? You unfortunately did not. You see a few things. As you actually like approach the palace as you're like, you know, running down the main drag,

you see down some alleyways. And then once you like get clear of the city towards the palace, you see like parks in the distance and hillsides in the distance in different parts of the town. You see Minerva's rifts open all over the, all over Sylvain city here. And they are like too narrow for you to see what. is going on on the other side, but you see like frantic activity around each one as the quell sort of pushes its invasion through those different points. But as you make your way past the barricade and into the garden here, you see, obviously you see the crystal and it is just,

it is barely illuminated now. It is this like faint, dark, fading orange. And up the stairs in front of you, you see the castle. It's got these huge, massive doors. that are shut tight. And you can see some armor with some figures in the armor laying on the ground in front of those doors with their jagged spears and pieces of armaments scattered around the entryway. That is what you see.

Should I read a bad situation? Sure. Yeah, I feel like it's all bad situations from here to do the finish lines. It's a seven plus. Two. Or nine. Anybody want to help out?

Yeah. So then I guess I will also, would I also roll? You'd roll the help out and describe, like, what you're doing to help him read a bad situation. How would you invent? I hold my hands up in front of his eyes like two binoculars. I'm like, reek, or re? Does that help? What are you doing to look around the scene for dangers?

I'm going to attempt to open that their third eye. So obviously, like, closing her two eyes. The normal two eyes, you know, the ones... Okay. You're shooting sonar out, essentially. Roll two, help out? I rolled an eight. Okay, your help grants them plus one to their roll.

Seven plus one, eight, yes. Right. You grant them plus one to their role, but you expose yourself to trouble or danger. I mean, that happens, you know, anytime you open your third eye, you're opening yourself to some psychic danger. Sure, that bumps you up to a 10.

Duck, what are your three questions that you get to ask? What's my best way in? you see just to the right of those massive double doors there is a stone circle built into the into the wall and in the center of that stone circle is like a vertical slit and it looks like a sort of medieval you know padlock situation you figure that that is probably the mechanism to open the gate and I think that actually Janelle is up there investigating it also and like sort of checking her robes, and she turns to you and she says that, I don't, I don't have my key.

I didn't think that I would be gone this long and that they would shut anyone out. The only ones with the key are the head of the palace guard and maybe the interpreter. That is what you get from that question. Are there any dangers we haven't noticed? There are. End of question. I mean, that's, that's let it ask an answer to. Yeah.

Yeah, there is a danger that you have not noticed. You see some of that armor that is laying in front of the doorway into the palace. You see it start to move. And it is the biggest form that was laying on the ground here. And you see it start to shamble and pick itself up to its feet. That's a danger you didn't notice. Okay. Now, if I were to say what's the biggest threat to me, is that going to be the reanimated armor?

Yeah. I'm just going to burn that one. Okay. I want to take advantage of that, the fact that I'm noticing it kind of like already reforming. Is there a... There's someone inside of it. Oh, there's something inside. It's like getting back up, right?

Yes. And it starts to trudge towards Janelle as she's investigating the lock. I'm going to whip beacon around its leg to try to knock it off balance while it's sort of getting its bearings. Uh, okay, I think it is not in a position to attack you right now. It has one of these, uh, its spear is even bigger than the, uh, than the other ones that are laying around and it's got this like, uh, you know, jagged edge to it. It's almost more like a, like a, uh, like a, uh, like a pike or something like that. Um, did some dark soul shit.

I do not think that this is a kick some ass then. So I think it's, it is, uh, act under pressure. Probably act under pressure. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Nine plus two. These are those finale. rolls. You do the thing that you said.

That way cry. I pull Beacon out and whip it around its leg and Beacon says, have a nice trip. And then I pull and he falls over and Beacon says, eat my whole ass. And that would be like the pommel, right? Yeah. This thing starts to jab its huge spear in an unaware Janelle's direction. But you like without even thinking, beak it around his leg and knock it down and it misses and its spear clatters to the ground

and kind of slides past Janelle and it misses its assault and it starts to stand up again this time angrier than before and it turns to see who attacked it and now Duck you can see who it is. You see horns on its head poking through a large plate helmet and you see familiar eyes that have gone blackened and, you know, hollow. And he stands to his full height, just this massive imposing height wearing this bulky plate armor and glowers down at you. And it is Vincent, the minister of defense and a friendly goat man who you have encountered in San Diego.

God fucking, damn it. Can Thacker take a move? Yeah, Thacker, go ahead. You sound cosmic and I love it. I am. Cosmic Insight. Okay. Again, he has encompassed the soul of the universe.

Yes. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Psychic event. I'm looking at the wrong thing. Psychic event. He has not encompassed anything. To use his sensitive powers opening his brain to the psychic environment. And in this case, well, I'll just roll.

I'll just roll. Okay. Yeah. right plus weird which is two that's an 11 okay uh why were you oh crapping well because i wanted to get one through six because one through six a bad role you make contact with something dangerous and i was thinking maybe it would oh bud trust if you had gotten one through six the making contract with something dangerous would have fucked you right up that's not a good thing that's a bad that's the that's the not ideal result of this scenario okay well in this case

He gets a definite impression, a vision, a tangible aura, an overheard thought, something from Vincent. Okay. Time stands still. The scene around you is like you're seeing it through this bright red filter. And you look around and you can move a little bit. But everybody else is kind of in position. You see Duck with his sword drawn. and you see Janelle starting to like fall backwards away from from Vincent.

And you see Aubrey with her third eye open. But you can move a little bit. And right where Vincent is, you just see this like blinking red light that is in his form. And it is, you know, roughly humanoid occupying the space of his body. But this light turned towards you and speaks to you in a familiar voice. and it says, Are you coming to me? Yes, I'm coming and I'm bringing some friends.

What is it that you hope to accomplish? Peace. I'm looking for peace. The time for peace has wrong past. You should know that, Thacker. Both of our worlds are blind. It's time for us to begin anew. Then I, I guess I'm coming for war then. pose, that's the only option I got left.

So be it. That filter, that red filter is just gone. And now you, you see time catch up to you. And your head, Thacker, is just, you fall to your knees. Your head is just splitting. And you hear this loud clanging noise. And when you look up, you see that Vincent has fallen to the ground

and this time he is just breathing and you can actually tell that whatever influence he had on it, the quell's influence, the same thing that took you over, it's gone now. It has retreated away from Vincent who makes his way up to his knees and shakes his head off and you probably feel a sympathy for him

knowing like how shitty he probably feels right now this quell hangover. But he recovers. And the first thing he does is look up at you. He locks eyes with you, Thacker. And he says, Hello. What was that?

Well, my friend, that is, that was the quell. And it kind of gets in your head and makes you act all goofy. But I got to tell you, you know, As far as I can tell you, didn't do anything wrong. Of course, I've only been here about 90 seconds. Yeah, as he stands up and picks up his spear, he looks around at some of the felled guards. And he just shakes his head and just looks completely, just has this vacant, distant look on his face. Well, it wasn't you, though.

It wasn't you. Listen, it came on me and I was like crawling around on ceilings and I was wiping people out. and it ain't your fault. You didn't do it. Don't feel bad. Here, partner. I hand him the slim gem that Leo gave me. Why don't you try snapping into this?

It always helps me to clear my head. This whole time he has been like trying to process everything and it is taking him so much longer than it normally would. And he looks down at this bright yellow, long, shitty looking package. with a long, nasty-looking beef stick inside of it. And he looks at you curiously. This week was sponsored by Slim Jim. He looks at this big, shitty, awful snack. Idiot snack.

You are really kissing this endorsement goodbye. And for just like a second, you can tell that he's not thinking about what just happened. He's not thinking about, like, you have interrupted this downward spiral that he was going through. and reminding him of just sort of all of the little pleasures of earth that you all have have brought him all of these just sort of mindless fun distractions and he looks up at you and just seems to kind of shake it off and he tears the package open and takes just like an enormous goat bite out of it and he says are you all here hold on Use as directed. That is exactly. Yep. Absolutely right.

That's how we do it on earth. That is bracing. Yeah, man. It's the fucking, it's the fucking cumin. Kuman will get you every time, bud. He, now he looks around and like instantly puts together, okay, things have fallen apart. The gates are closed. You all are here.

There has to be a reason for it. He hobbles over to the lock. and jams his spear in it, which he twists, and the doors part open just narrow enough for all of you to slip inside. As we head inside, Aubrey closes her eyes again, you know, following you know, close their eyes again. Alexandra, if you can hear us, we're on our way to help. You don't hear any response, but you have that third eye open, right, to help him out.

Yes. Exposing you to danger. Yeah. Everybody else has gone inside. You're the last one to slip through the door. And as you do, just in your periphery, just for like a blip. Like if you did not have your third eye open, like you obviously would have missed it. It's like a single frame spliced into a film.

You see hovering in the air 20 feet away in the distance. you see five of those forearmed beings made out of light, just kind of hovering in the air and just kind of observing. And then in a blink, they're gone. And the doors creak shut behind you. Hey there, everybody. Thanks for listening to the Adventure Zone. This is Griffin.

I've already messed this up. But you know who I am and what I do. Thanks for listening. This is episode 34, and I hope you like it. and we're just a few episodes out from the end of Amnesty now, getting all sentimental. And thank you all so much for all your kind words, all your support throughout this whole season.

It has meant the world to us. Real excited for what's coming up next, and we'll be able to talk more about that really soon. But before that happens, I'm going to tell you about a couple of our sponsors. Thank you to everybody who's been tweeting about the show using the Zonecast hashtag. Probably, well, definitely no more new characters, I would say,

because we're just a couple episodes out from the true finale, but it still means a lot for you spreading the word. As we move into the ending here of Amnesty, people have been really singing the show's praises to their friends and getting them listening, and that is how we've been able to grow and have the audience and all the great opportunities that we have today, and we are so grateful.

Thank you also to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. Go to MaximumFund.org. Check out all the great shows there. If you like this show, I bet you're really going to like Mission to Zix. It's an improvised comedy like sci-fi space opera that is just a hoot join the network, I think just earlier this year. And yeah, that's the max fun wreck for today. And yeah, we got new merch.

If you go to Macroyd. Family, you can find out all of our news and garbage and stuff. But we got new merch including an Adventure Zone fanny pack that I can't believe we got to make. And I'm very, very excited. Yeah, I think that's probably going to do it. I just, I'm filled with gratitude today for everything, your support for the show, for the graphic novel, for all of it. It means the world.

You all have changed our lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. So next episode, delayed one week. It's going to be up September 12th. And then the final episode, I think, is going to be up September 19th. It's definitely going to be up September 19th. I think it's going to be the final episode. Anyway, that's it.

Get back to the episode and I'll talk to you later. The fluorescent overhead lighting of the St. Francis Medical Center Annex flicker as the monstrous entity gains entry. Slinking around cubicle corners and through emptied meeting rooms, this beast, an eight-foot-long, six-legged, bright red Komodo dragon stalks the living prey its senses in this building. A trash can topples over in an adjacent room and the lizard roars, exposing its crooked, razor-sharp teeth. It charges in the direction of the sound. It finds muffy, wounded and bleeding. Her back against the far wall of a meeting room, her eyes closed, pleading for help. The beast charges, smashing through the doorframe, into the room, toppling tables and chairs and its furious assault.

Its mouth opens wide as it makes contact with a wall. It slumps to the ground, dazed for a moment. It sees its own shadow on the wall and turns to find a projector, shining. down onto the screen it just ran. Muffy's voice comes from the shadows. Honestly, dear, that's Bush League hunting. She emerges into the light string drawn on an ornate long bow. Two other figures wearing robes flank her with crossbows in hand.

They fire a volley at the Komodo dragon as it charges in their direction, sticking bolts and arrows all around its face and body. The beast prepares to leap and finish its assault when something lands on its back, dropping it to the floor. A ceremonial dagger pierces its head. And then whatever was binding its form together loses its sway and the beast disintegrates into a gelatinous bright red puddle.

Winthrop lifts himself up and out of the creature's remains, looks down and recoils in horror. Blubitons! the castle doors shut behind you and you actually see a couple of guards that have their backs up against the door like pushing it shut. One of them is this fearsome-looking bulldog creature wearing this studded armor. The other one you've actually seen before, it's a squirrel that you've seen a few times that used to guard the archway. But it's here now and has this bandage over his left eye. and it is it's fairly ramshackle here in the in the foyer of the castle there is a small fire

in the center of the room and there are a handful of sylvan's sitting around it with just vacant expressions their energy is clearly flagging you you get the impression that they probably haven't siphoned anything off of the crystal for for quite some time now and there a few folks all around the room, uh, who are in a similar state, uh, there are a couple of specters too who are like have, they're almost invisible. They, they are only barely opaque. Uh, and one of them actually makes, makes his way over to you and you, you, you can't really make out who it is because his form is so blurred, um, but his voice says, uh, pine god, have you come to deliver us in our hour of need?

you're a little late and now you recognize this this person as Woodbridge who is the Minister of Preservation here whose form is just not really visible and you can't see that sort of smarmy shitty face that was so mean to you

the first time that you made your way here Hey, what happened to you? Ah, look around you. It was goose, right? Or was it? Duck, yeah, it's a nickname Quail Well, the same thing that's happening to everybody else

Duck, we're dying We're all dying or dead Isn't that? And then he looks and sees that Vincent is with you And that Janelle is with you And he stops and like shakes his head And says, you're back? You're back?

People can come back? Yeah, I mean, I don't know about Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I'm sorry about the holdup, by the way. Had a few other things to attend to, you know, Earthside. So I am sorry about that. Woodbridge then turns over to Janelle and says, and our wayward minister of the arcane has returned.

I take it your mission was not a success. And Janelle kind of looks down at the ground. She looks like she feels really guilty. Hey, my dude, I'm sorry that you're like fading away or whatever the fuck, but quit being a piece of shit. Like, we're here now and we're trying to help and she was doing her best. So get off her nuts, all right? Ah, yes, I understand. It was her idea, you know.

Oh, my God, I'm going to melt you into a puddle in the ground. Like, everybody's clearly going through some shit. Do you really think this is the time? I don't see that we have any. And Janelle just like holds her hand out and he goes like flying across the room and runs into a big crystal chandelier in the ceiling, which he kind of bounces off of. Thank you. And Janelle says, I've wanted to do that for a long time.

Yes, he is a piece of shit. And he sheepishly like sinks back down to the floor and makes a real shitty glare over at Janelle and wonders closer to the fire. And then you all hear footsteps rushing toward you from the royal chambers and you see the interpreter. Who, Aubrey, you've seen a few times during your lessons now. And Duck, you haven't seen since you were first introduced to Sylvain, you know, almost a year ago now. She looks like you saw her the first time. She's a young girl. Only now her cheeks are like fairly sunken.

And she has tears in her eyes. And she just leaps at Janelle and just clutches her legs. And Janelle is similarly, like, kind of teary-eyed. And she says, I'm so sorry, dear. I'm so sorry. I won't leave you again. As you all are kind of witnessing this reunion, Vincent turns to you, Doc, and he says, have you been beefing up?

You look, I know I haven't seen you in a while. You look great. That's cool as help you. Thank you. Yeah, I've been training with some more chosen ones. Back Earthside, been trying to work on my delts and my glutes and my pecks and everything. Thank you for noticing. A lot of people just let that pass by.

I appreciate it. I said, it's a uniform. Good, Duck. Okay? I said it. When we get through all this, we should do some sparring. What do you say? You're just, you know, just two bros working it out.

Yeah, I'm going to take a pass right now because you're all jacked up on Slim Jim energy. We call that meat meth. And I don't need to. battle somebody in that condition. All that fucking sodium goes right to your muscles. Aubrey, as this is, Aubrey's going to make her way over to Alexandra.

Okay. She needs to have words. Sure, sure. You walk over to her, and she is still holding on to Janelle, and her face is just, like, buried in Janelle's robes, and you hear the interpreter's voice

say, thank you, Aubrey, Thank you, Aubrey. Thank you. I hear her voice. I hear her say it. You hear her voice. Okay. Aubrey tries to think, you're welcome, Alexandra. Nothing happens. Damn it. Hey, Alexandra, can I talk to you for a minute?

She pulls her face away from Janelle's robes, and she says, Aubrey, what is it? Yeah, Janelle, you can, you can chat too. You're probably going to be a... Hey, um, so Janelle, um, so Janelle, And Alexandra, I can hear Alexandra's thoughts. And I can't really, so I was trying to talk to the lady who lives in the magic, you know? And instead, I heard Alexandra and Alexandra,

you said something about maybe having deceived some people and maybe having messed up a little bit. She goes, why does it ghost? Why does a she? Yeah, that's what I thought. So we need to have some words. the three of us. Janelle looks at her and looks at you and says,

you heard her thoughts, Aubrey? Yeah, I was trying to talk to the lady who lives in the magic. She looks back at both of you just with the rare look of puzzlement on her face. Thacker, what are you doing while all these conversations are happening?

Well, I mean, the only thing in here are the denizens of Sylvain, right? Yeah. Maybe he's really investigating them and checking out to see if, I mean, how many, have you given us account as to how many people are, I mean, how many creatures are in there with us? Maybe, you know, a little over a dozen or so. Not like, you know, not the entire city.

Actually, a very, very small number of people have made it in here into the castle. So I think, I think he's kind of walking through the crowd and kind of looking at them, kind of checking them out, you know, Just in case there's, you know, a quizzling in the brush, as they say. I don't even think you need to investigate a mystery. I think this is your, whatever it is, the thing where you know this, you know this shit. I would not make you roll for this because you are the Earth's preeminent Sylvain scholar. And you have seen Silvans before and you have read about Silvans when they start to go hollow like this,

when they start to lose their connection to Sylvain. So, like, you know what this looks like. And what you notice is that Woodbridge has started to, like, come back a little bit. Like, Woodbridge is now a little bit more tangible, a little bit more visible of a specter than he was just, you know, right when you came in. And this group that was sitting around the fire just kind of looking kind of vacant, they're actually, like having a, like a, you know, know, inspiring conversation with each other, a hang in there talk with each other. You notice that, like, everyone in this room actually seems to be, you know, gearing up for battle seems to be getting their gumption back.

Looking around the room, Janelle obviously notices that too. And you see her, Aubrey clasp her hands over her mouth. And she looks at Duck and she looks at Thacker and she looks at you. and she says, I know how to stop the quell. Okay. We need to go right now. I will explain on the way,

and she takes off running towards the royal chamber, towards an open door at the back of the room. Aubrey grabs Alexandra's hand and says, we're not done talking, come on, and pulls her along with her. Okay.

I'll just follow along. I mean, yeah, fuck it. Yes. And I think Thacker leaves, a little bit more slowly and really given the last scrutiny to the to the room left behind. As you leave the room behind, this thing that you notice, it's even more prominent. Now, like, the people around the fire are, like, standing up and starting to, like, pump each other up. Woodbridge is just, like, you know, still a specter, but, like, his form has come back.

And you see him actually, like, looking at his hands, realizing what has happened. Everybody seems to be, like, re-energized. And it continues even as we're leaving. As you leave, you notice that everybody is just sort of like, everybody's just kind of better, and you follow along behind. The ward around the cryptonomica is broken by the swarm of quell terrors. One of Janelle's retinue faints from exhaustion. Kirby leaps to catch her.

Indrid removes his glasses and begins clicking his mandibles and stretching his long, kitten covered arms and legs. Moira closes her eyes, and the more than, ballistically deadly objects in the room begin floating in an orbit around her. A window smashes upstairs. Danny turns, slipping off a ring as she sprints to the second floor. She kicks open the door to Billy's old room, fully transformed, and sees a bright red winged gargoyle finding its footing after smashing in from outside. She bears her fangs, rears back her claws, and leaps toward it. The front door into the building topples over.

Moira curls a salvo of staplers, stones, and books in the direction of the horde. With a flap of his wings, Indrid is on one of them, repeatedly smashing it into the wall and ceiling. Kirby stands his ground against a charging red bear, but is thrown like a rag doll across the room and over Ned's old desk. He climbs to his feet as the bear prepares another assault, and then Kirby hears a chorus of battle cries from outside. There are dozens of folks, young and old, all charging the horde.

They emerge into the moonlight, and Kirby notices their uniforms. No, not uniforms. Their merch, shirts, hats, jackets, pins, stickers, all read, Saturday night, dead. Kirby grins. He leans down, retrieves a brass tip. walking stick from below the desk and pounces. Upstairs, Danny lands the killing blow on her enemy, but her fury has given her tunnel vision.

A blood-red cobra slithers into the room cautiously approaching the unaware Sylvan. The cobra strikes and is intercepted, snatched out of the air by a small, furry white paw. The snake's head is twisted violently, its spasms, and two short, furry white arms slam its body into the ground with a decisive thunk. Danny hears the impact and turns. Dr. Harris Bonkers stands before her on two hind legs, three feet tall. The dying snake held, held in one of his anthropomorphized paws.

his face is a mask of amazement like dany's who says huh and you all go into this antechamber beyond the royal chambers and once all of you are standing on this symbol with uhlexandra and vincent and janelle uh she she places her hand on the ground and it lights up and this elevator starts to descend and it drops below the castle and it is suspended on these four thin rails. And you have an almost uninterrupted view of the chasm below the city. Aubrey, you've seen it before, but the scope of it, Thacker and Duck, is just breathtaking. It is just this enormous earthen void with a, it's got a viewing platform that the elevator,

the bottom of the elevator docks into that seems to stretch partway around this chamber's circumference. And at the center of all of it is the crystal, the rest of it, what's attached to the comparatively humble peak right in front of the castle. This is the iceberg below the water. And like what you saw above ground, the light is almost like completely extinguished. Right now, actually, the only light is coming from below. There is searing red light that is flashing from the endless void down below the viewing platform, and it is dramatically illuminating everyone and everything every several seconds, joined by a deep, labored breath. But Janelle doesn't seem to care about any of that. She is staring at you, Aubrey, and her mouth is hanging slightly

ajar. What, hey, what's up? Do I got a booger? She grins for like a second and then goes back to that, that slightly vacant expression. And she looks at all of you and she says, did you notice? Woodbridge and the others? They're getting stronger. She takes a beat and she looks back at you, Aubrey, and she says, do you know? Do I know what? She...

grins again and takes a step back, and she says, you can hear the interpreter's heartfelt, pure, unspoken pleas. You can nourish our people and sustain their vital energies just by being near them. Uh-huh. You have powers beyond anything I've ever seen, Aubrey. You can break the quell's corruption. You've restored life to the dead. Aubrey, you're not from Sylvei.

Or, Sylvain. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported. I'm Riley Smurl. I'm Sidney McElroy. And I'm Taylor Smurl.

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