The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Amnesty - Episode 6

Episode Date: April 12, 2018

A new menace encroaches on Kepler, West Virginia. Have our heroes kept up with their training in the months since their last monstrous encounter? Or has this latest abomination caught them unawares? Aubrey takes a dip. Duck shows off some new moves. Ned gets airtime. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Moonlight pours through the broad skylights above the Kepler High School pool and on to the back of Calvin Owens, Captain of the Kepler High Swim Team. He cuts quiet laps through the water training vigorously for the Pocahontas County Swim Meet just four days away. A window over the stacked up bleachers is propped open by a duffel bag containing a change of clothes, evidence of Calvin's trespassing in pursuit of a few dozen more practice laps. He breaches the surface and clings to the edge of the edge of the edge of the airs. of the pool panting. He reaches up with trembling, tired fingers, and peels off his goggles and cap, then lays his head down on crossed arms, attempting to catch his breath before pushing his luck for one last set. And for a moment, he is surrounded with silence, floating in the waters

that would be his proving grounds in just a few short days. He pushes his nerves aside, and granting himself a moment of weightless serenity, Calvin Owens exhales a long, contented sigh. And then he is pulled violently below the surface of the water. And now the silence of the gym is nearly absolute. There's just the soft rustling of the pine trees outside and the small ripples that remain on the surface of the pool, which lap lazily against its edges. And then a splash as Calvin resurfaces, gulping air into his burning lungs as he lunges toward the ladder out of the pool. He leaps onto the edge and scrambles up the side of the bleachers, his body aching with exhaustion, and yanks his bag out of the propped open window, swinging his leg over its sill.

But before he makes his escape, his curiosity consumes him. He pauses and surveys the waters below. His mind cannot comprehend what it sees. The surface of the water grows convex, lurching upward from the center of the pool and pulling away. from its perimeter. It grows slowly like this until it forms a mound that reaches 10 feet above its former surface, and then, without warning, this shape begins moving in Calvin's direction. The window slams shut as Calvin springs outside. He hits the ground running and vanishes into the trees that surround his school. The nearly full moon over Kepler, West Virginia,

illuminates this scene from its ambivalent place in the twilight sky. I'm being sucked into a portal. I'm going all the way from West Virginia to... Oh, West Virginia. Oh, man, I'm being sucked too. I'm going to West Virginia too. We're both being sucked. We're being sucked.

Are you being sucked? No, and I wouldn't admit it if I was. And I'm the portal, the portal master who made me suck. Griffin, why did you transport me The state I'm already yet? Well, technically you're 45 minutes east or so of where you are, so that's exotic. There's all those warrants too, Jee.

You can't really cross state lines. Yeah, and now you're in pepperoni roll country, baby. Ooh. This is pepperoni roll country right here. Sure. The official snack. I'm living it. So it's a max fun drive,

and it's our first episode kind of back in Amnesty. What will be official? know now is season two. And, hey, who here remembers what Amnesty was all about? Because it's been three months? I think it was all about a young woman named

Aubrey Little. And her journey and two sort of side characters, sort of ancillary characters supporting her and her to make her look good. Sure. And also, here's a really fun thing. Because you often see this, like, when you go from pilot to season,

I can't remember what Aubrey's voice sounds. it's going to be like completely different now probably um also because you're sick it's gonna now travis has the episode one sickness um would you all like a quick refresher on what this is all about and then we can talk about what the max fun drive is and then start doing the episode yes i agree you all are in kepler west virginia it's the setting for this story uh where uh all of you have kind of been collected ned you lived in town already you run a a sort of local cryptid museum called the Cryptonomica and Duck, you've lived here for, has Duck lived here his whole life?

Yeah, I think so far. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, and so Ned works, Ned works at the Cryptonamika. Duck works at the Monongahela National Forest as a park ranger. And we're buddies. We're friends. And your buddies?

Well, you're all friends now, I think, or at least casual acquaintances. No, apparently I'm a sidekick to Aubrey. That's correct. I was goofing. Come on. You're all important in God's. And Aubrey, you are a traveling sort of sort of magician starting her career

who was brought to Kepler when she developed actual magic powers. That's the twist, right? Because before now she was doing stage magic, but then what's that? Actual magic? No one's ever done that before in a story. You all welcome. Actual practical magic. Yeah. So you all were, you all sort of came to know Mama, who is the proprietor of the Amnesty Lodge.

It's actually just Amnesty Lodge. I need to stop saying V Amnesty Lodge. That's like calling it like V Motel 6. That's weird, right? Is Amnesty Lodge a chain? Are there other Amnesty Lodges around? No, there's just this one and it is, it plays home to a number of,

well, monsters who hail from a world called Sylvain, which is accessible. We still need to come up with a better word than like abominations and monsters. Alternative beings? Alternative. I thought we had bomb bomb. Bombs.

No, bomb-bos. It's all terrible. Which Sylvain is accessible through a stone archway, which is in the middle of the woods. And every two months or so when the full moon, around the time of the full moon, these big nasty monsters called abominations come out. And it's up to the pine guard to defeat them quietly because nobody else can know about Sylvan's existence. Because what would happen if you found out there was a world full of monsters that was connected to our own. There would be chaos. I would feel very satisfied, very vindicated.

Sure. There would certainly be people like that. But the reason for the secrecy that the Pine Guard operates under is because they are worried about, you know, war. And so y'all slayed a monster, a slated abomination and won the day. And Mama sort of disappeared on some sort of secret mission. Duck sort of had a conversation with Minerva, who is his invisible friend. it's visible to him. She's visible to him, but to nobody else.

And we learned that she's somewhere. She exists somewhere. And in the last scene, Ned, you found out that Kirby posted the video of the real Bigfoot Barclay fighting a bobcat, which is a small cat. And I'm very sorry. I didn't know. I confused Bobcat and Mountain Lion. Oh, shit.

I knew that the whole time. And I thought you're doing that on purpose. It was a monster version of the bobcat. I thought it was an oversized. There we go. There we go. Matter of fact, I think you would even call it a Robert cat because it was so much big. A Robert cat.

The monster fluid got in the bobcat turning into a monster. Okay. Any questions before we hop in? How long has it been since the... It's been two months. We're kind of getting to the next sort of monster cycle, which comes every two months or so. So we're going to do like a quick catch-up scene with all of you and then not go five episodes before you. getting you all together. I'm going to do that

after we do like a little catch-up because I want to know what your characters have been doing in this place for the last two months. So what time of year is it? It's October. Oh, spooky. Yeah, the spookiest month historically. Let's talk about the max fun drive though, before we

do the story. Well, so there are monsters in the world, and we need your support to stop those monsters. How do you do it? You got a maximum fun.org for us to donate, and then you become a member, and with your monthly pledges, we take that money and we turn it into dead monsters. Yeah, we use, we have monster sword, not the cool monsters, the cool monsters can hang.

If they're chill. If they're chill. And like, some of them are, I saw a vampire other day. He was listening to train on his car radio and just enjoying the air conditioner. I was like, yeah, you can hang. Fine. Yeah. Heavily tinted windows, obviously.

I have like 10 windows and I put my glave away. We're going to talk more about the Max Fund Drive, but let's get into it. Yeah, maximum fund. Just go to maximum fund.org for us to donate right this second. Let's start with Aubrey. Aubrey, when last we saw you, you were kind of banged up from the monster encounter. It's been two months. I imagine you have recovered since then.

And it's October now. And in the last two months, Mama has not returned yet from whatever mission she embarked on. But with her sort of last letter, she implored you to stay at Amnesty Lodge and help them in their plight while you sort of discover the truth of your magic powers. So I am curious to hear what Aubrey's been doing for the last two months. And then in there, maybe we can find, like, a scene that we can do. She's been binging Netflix, just really taking some her time, not doing much. Watching Stranger Things for, like, strategic tips and stuff. No, mostly just like cooking shows and documentaries.

manor. No, she has been practicing. Zumbos just desserts. I'm pretty sure Zumbo is encrypted because no human can make cakes like that. I picture like with Barclay's help, like setting up, you know, kind of straw men, you know, and doing some like target practice, you know, flinging spells and trying to really control it and being able to do it without having like the spreading danger and really trying to find like where the line is of the power and like how much she can rely on it. Okay. So just practicing your magic ability. Is it going well? I would say it is passably well. Here's another thing. I don't know. Just like last time,

I want the characters to use the restroom. I also don't want this to be like in Dr. Strange, where it's like, oh, now I get it. And now I'm super awesome at magic. No, yeah. I think that's very, I think that's probably how it would work, right? Like, it's not something you just like, oh, now I'm a master, master magician. I would also say that maybe in there she's been learning about Sylvain and she's been learning about the alternative people, the alternative beings in the lodge. And so she's been maybe cozy and up to Danny a little bit as a bit of like, now tell me about them. Now what's going on here? All right.

We can do that scene. Like I think that would be good. I think you doing target practice would be cool too. but I think that you just like having a conversation about Sylvain and stuff might be good. So how about this? You and Danny are in the woods. Just not too far from the lodge. I think it's probably in sight.

There's a creek that runs along behind the Amnesty Lodge. Behind Amnesty Lodge, damn it. And the two of you are out there just sort of hiking around. I think Ganey's sort of been helping you get acclimated to Kepler first and foremost. Like this is a town that you have not lived in, and so you're sort of still trying to wrap your head around the landscape and sort of what the town's all about. And the two of you are looking for ramps. Do ramps exist in October? I think it's a springtime food.

But because of the magic from the gateway. Oh, I thought you meant like sick, like bicycle ramps. We're going to skateboard off some ramps. No, like the tasty onions. I don't know what that is. Oh, it's like an Appalachian delicacy. Okay. Okay, anyway.

There's a ramp festival every year. There's a ramp festival, but I think it's in spring movie. Because of the magic of the Stone Gate, they also grow in October. Could we also be looking for six skateboarding ramps? Yeah, I think you're looking for both. Do you know... Only if you have Jake Coolice with you. I think Jake Coolice heard you were going out for looking for ramps,

and he showed up with his shorts and his cool board. Oh, Jake. And his knee pads and helmet because he's safe. And then he, Danny was like, no, they're onions. Sparklay wanted him for cooking. And he's like, oh, well, I can't grind on those. And he went back inside. And he cried in his room.

Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no. You hate to hear that. So the two of you are out in the woods looking for these stinky onions. And you are talking to her about Sylvain. Also, just a picture. I've been imagining this kind of like training exercise that's also become

like a nervous fidget for her where it's like a little flame on the tip of her index finger that she passes back and forth between index fingers. All right, I dig that. Yeah, so kind of controlling it. So are you doing that right now? Yeah. Okay. So what do you want to know from, from Danny about Sylvan?

Okay, so one more time. Tell me again, you are a... Well, I'm, I guess I'm Sylvan, like 100%. There's sort of different types of beings over there. Yeah, yeah. But like a werewolf, vampire. See, those are your terms, and it's weird because you kind of have those terms because we came over and you made them up. But I guess, I mean, I guess a lot of us would be vampires.

Not in the way that, not like the, you know, Dracula type. I can't turn into bats. I can do some cool stuff. But like, yeah, vampire. sharp teeth when I need them and she uh what she have I think she has a ring and she takes that off and you you see her like her sylvan form where she has those sharp teeth and kind of orange orange eyes not exactly like the two-fangmed vamp that we've we kind of know about but um she she transforms in front of your eyes she's like yeah so uh vampire yeah it's uh it's pretty cool um okay

Okay, so this is a weird question, but is there any way to recognize, like, without someone taking off their accessory, say like, oh, yeah, that's a Bigfoot, that's a vampire, that's a... No, I mean, that's why they exist. They help us sort of live here. I mean, don't, yeah, you don't need, like, avoid comp test on this. It's pretty much just the folks live in Amnesty Lodge. I feel like a lot of people saw men in black and then just assumed that there were, like, aliens and monsters walking. No, it's pretty much just us. It's, it's pretty much just us. It would be tough to sort of, it's tough to survive in this world without a little bit of help. And Amnesty Lodge sort of provides that to us. So specifically, so I think the most important thing you need to know, and I know you're curious about how the Sylvan's work, but we can't really live without some sort of sustaining life force and over in, like food? Well, it could be food. There's traces of that stuff in there. but in Sylvain we all sort of subsist on, well, Sylvain itself on the planet.

You eat the dirt? No, we don't eat the dirt. We just sort of absorb its energy. Like photosynthesis. Yeah, I guess if you want to frame it like that, it's a little bit like photosynthesis. And obviously over here we don't get that. And so I think that's why you get a lot of the, you know, vampire biting, feeding that stuff that has happened sometimes and has been kind of unfortunate

and it was painted a pretty bad picture of, of me and how I sort of live. So do you have to bounce over from time to time and recharge and come back? She looks a little sad when you say that. She's like, I can't go back. Aubrey, I'm in exile. We're forbidden, yeah.

I'm sorry, yeah. Once you leave, Sylvan, you're not really allowed to cross back over. But anyway, no, you know the springs behind Amnesty Lodge, the hot springs? Yeah, those have enough juice, I think, for a lot of us to keep going. So quick soak in there and I'm good to go. Do you, would you want to go take a soak in the springs? I mean, we don't, if you don't, I know we have to get the ramps.

So if you don't, you know what, never mind, forget it. Um, she reaches down and grabs like, uh, like there's two really close together, which is, uh, I don't know how ramps work, but I'm going to say it's an uncommon occurrence and she pulls them up. I think y'all have like a healthy bounty. She's like, no, that sounds great. Let's get these over to Barclay. Get him working on that. Whatever he's going to make. These things stink like hell, but I'm sure he's going to make him taste very good.

And, yeah, let's go for a dip. Sick. Duck. Yep. Duck, it's been two months since the events, since the last hunt. What have you been up to? I think Minerva's still showing up on a fairly regular basis. I thought it might be interesting if,

through like, I don't know, through the two of you just like figuring it out, if she managed to find a way to show up at like a regular time, like, you know, 6.14 p.m., sometime in the evening, and I can leave it to you to decide, but just like that's that now it's consistent. Now Minerva shows up and you know what time she's going to show up. It is not this like random visit thing. She now has a schedule time. She shows up just in time to watch wheel with you. Yeah, she's dialed it in. She catches the back half a wheel. And it's probably not for like a super long time, but like what, how do you feel about that? Yeah, that makes sense to me. Probably in the evening, I feel like, you said 614 kind of randomly, but I think that that feels right. 614, 614 every night. All right. I think Minerva shows up at 614 every night, checks in.

I think you, I mean, you still got Beacon, and that's what it is. And I think Duck has been like in, he's still doing his day to day. I think he probably jogs places more often than he used to stroll, like trying to sort of casually get a little bit more physically fit. I think maybe in the woods, once in a great while, he'll sort of like practice with Beacon, you know, when he's sure no one is around to look to sort of, you know, get, you know, get, knocked the dust off a little bit, but it's not like his prime focus. Hey, he's got a fucking job. He's got a nine to five, yeah. Has that been complicated by the fact that you also kind of have started to embrace your destiny

a little bit? I think that he maybe has a sense of wanting to have things in order, you know, just in case. like in case he would have to abandon his post for some reason or god forbid something that or it would happen to him i think that he um maybe appreciates it more because it is also like a sort of bedrock of normalcy um in in a world kind of gone crazy how is your training how is your training going i think it would be cool if like you i minerva i think would be eager to train you. I think obviously, I think she only shows up for like

three minutes. It is very, it is a short window that she appears to you, but it's every, every day, 614 to 617, she shows up and I think wants to, wants to sort of show you the ropes a little bit. Yeah, and I think, I see Minerva kind of as like,

like his personal trainer and who he's kind of like blowing off. Like the reason he does the stuff is so he can tell Minerva like, oh yeah, I've been practicing like running and the swords and stuff you know okay it's not you know it's it's sort of like you know have you been training he's like oh yeah yeah totally totally totally training really yeah yeah for sure like really grinding grinding it out all right turning in all kinds of crush bone

belts you know yeah god how often can we reference crush bone belts from as often as i want dude okay um i i think i'd like the scene if you're cool with it to be at some point during this two month span, she kind of stops taking the excuse of like, yep, training, great, and actually wants to, like, spar with you somewhere for her three-minute window. Yeah, and I feel like she probably kicks his ass, like, every time. And probably through that, towards the end of this period that we're talking about, like, he gets tired of getting his ass kicked, which is sort of the prompting for him doing the other stuff, like for actually trying to get himself in slightly better shape and practice the beacon or whatever. He's tired of getting knocked around.

Well, she's a speck. She's like a vision. I don't think she has any physical form. Yeah, but he knows when he's beat. Yeah, okay. I think, all right, let's do one of these scenes. It's probably close to the end of this two-month window, because you've been, you've been training for a while. Where are you at? I also don't forget, I need to do my, um, Destiny's Plaything role at some point. Oh, yeah. Go ahead and do that. That's a good setup too. Because we're especially... Sure, because if we're flashing back, yeah, I think,

yeah, go ahead and do it and then we... Okay. For those of you, Destiny is, at the beginning of every sort of like thing, I have to roll to see sort of like what destiny is going to tell me about. It is a super cool mechanic. So we're using Roll 20,

not for sort of visual things. We're not going to put up like things that you won't be able to see. We're mainly just doing it so we can see each other's rolls. And I can see that Justin has rolled a seven plus, what is it, weird? Yeah, plus weird, which is actually negative one. Oh. So for ducks.

So it's a six. What do you get on a failure for? Something bad is going to happen to you. Oh, no. We just started. Here you go. Here's a little present for you, Griffin. I've wrapped it and everything.

Okay. That's extremely good. Well, Mark experience. Okay. Every time you fail a role in Monster of the Week, which is the game we are playing, you get Mark experience. Out of curiosity, did anybody rack up 5 XP? No, I just got one last time.

All right. Yeah, that's my second. Dad, where are you at, XP-wise? You know, you know, I got a couple. This is a much simpler system. This is such a simpler system. You've got to just do the shit, though. I'm looking at all my notes.

I'm looking at all my notes. I think I look at your character sheet two two thank you well I'll do your vision after this scene we'll do the flashback and then we'll do your vision um okay so it's where where are you at when you're doing this training uh out back the outback steakhouse like the parking lot or like the kitchen there's a parking lot behind the outback no I go out back my house okay uh your apartment yes my yes my apartment uh there's a sort of common area um the uh but There's only like three other apartments in the building. And I know when Mrs. Pearson usually packs it in about earlier in the evening.

Now, what's your relationship with Mrs. Pearson? Yeah, let's dial into that. She is a sweet, older lady, former police officer, actually. So she's got a lot of great stories. Kepler's first female police officer, actually. and so she's got a lot of great stories about her time on the Force which Duck likes to hear

and he likes to she likes to think that she's checking up on him to make sure that he's doing okay because she still hasn't lost the sort of protective nature that she developed over 40 years in the Force but I think they kind of look out for each other

damn dude we were just goofing that's good shit that is real good shit okay so you're behind wait hold on slow so who else is in the building I can tell you if you want. There's Mr. Furley. Mr. Furley's there. No, Mr. Tarkeesian who runs the general store in town. Uh, and he... I have a fucking character list here in Scrivener and I'm having to update it.

Mr. Turkeesian? Yeah, Mr. Tarkeesian. All right. Runs the grocery store. General store. Yeah, I mean, it's a grocery store, general store, whatever. It says Kepler General Store, but that's sort of like a nod to nostalgia. You know, it's a... It's like a grocery store. A small one. You find those in small West Virginia towns where the big chains have not come in still. Like if you go to a place like MacDow County, you'll find these like gas stations that are kind of like markets. And bag station.

Combination bait shop. A lot of the farm. Yeah, at a bait shop for sure. There is a pizza hut in town. That is, I think, one of the few chains. That's canon. Yeah. Pizza hut is not necessarily a grocery store, but I can see how if your only groceries were pizza.

Can you give me all the ingredients but not cooked, please? All right. Is there anybody else in your apartment building? No, the other two, the other, the fourth apartment is unoccupied. Okay. Currently. You know, that's a problem with an area like this. Somebody moves out.

It's not like we have an influx of people, you know. Okay. All right. So it's somewhere close to the end of the two months span, like very, very close. I think like a week before the events of this arc. and you are behind the apartment building. It's 613. Sure enough, nobody's out there.

And Mr. Gersen still work. Yeah, Mr. Hercise and still work. Mrs. Pearson's hold up for the evening. Watson, Leo. She watches the news. She's six to 6.30. She's watching the news so you know that you're clear. And your watch rolls over to 614.

And then, like, without a sound, there's no, like, Like there's Minerva and she is standing in front of you and she says Duck Newton let's be swift eh only a few moments are you ready to begin your training all right here's the first thing I wanted to show you check this out and he jumps up in the air and kicks and he's a says I is that anything because I I did it and it felt like I did it and I felt like it was something, but I don't know if that's anything. Well, why don't you try to do...

It's kind of like a half kick. Yes. I kind of jump up and do like a half kick. It looked rad, and it might scare your opponent into maybe wavering for a moment, giving you an opportunity to strike them with your blade. But you've just taken up, like,

one of our three minutes with it. So I think keep practicing, and let's see how it goes. All right. Let's why don't you roll to kick some ass I think that'd be a cool way to like See how well you do with this training session It is really hard

I have my dice like in my hand It's very hard to break the habit But I will use your digital Your rigged game That all you were saying 11 points To kick this ghost ass Actually you add your

What is it? Body what's looking Tough Uh, bu, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yeah, add tough, which he is one. So that's a 12. All right. I think, I think this is great because I think after like a few weeks of her. And I think the training is like, you take turns her, you swinging your blade at her, uh, just trying to hit her while she kind of dodges out of the way. And then she has like, she has a blade of her own, uh, wherever she is that you can sort of see in the projection that she swings at you. And she. And I feel like because of the net magical nature of my blade, like, like, we could like fight that way. Like I feel like I could have like a real, even though she's spectral right.

So here's the thing. You are right. You have, your blade is magic, but like you have hit her before, it just passes right through her. Because, and, and-

I meant the sword herself. Like, I don't think it hurts her, but like, I feel like her sword maybe we could like bounce off or she, she like completely, just like light.

I think it's, okay. You feel something when it hits her, but you, it's not like in your hand, right it's like you're it's like your it's like your brain telling you like that's a hit but you don't it's not like it's not like the blade is stopped in the air um but that has been sort of rare for you to actually get a hit off on her and i think this time you uh you you stab at her and she dodges out of the way and you quickly like swing the blade upwards and you you get a hit on her and even though again like she's not tangible uh i think she falls down um and this is like quick this happens in like the span of a second And she's laughing as she goes. And she says, oh, Duck Newton, you have been practicing.

I see you're really giving in to the instincts. Yeah, I've been feeling like I've been getting a little bit better. I'm trying to put in my time and polish up a little bit. She says, your skills are impressive, Duck Newton. More impressive than I expected them to get. There is a certain amount of, let's call it, help that you receive just for being the chosen one. But it seems like you've supplemented that yourself with doing a little, what did you, what did you call it CrossFit? Yeah, I'm still doing CrossFit.

It was, I went back and, you know, I'm not getting there every week, but I feel like because of magic, that's probably fine. And Destiny, you know. She says, no, you're, again, the instinct that you received upon becoming the chosen one. one will do you well. There's no need to over-exert yourself. Duck, we only have a few moments. How is it going with Beacon? Are you two getting along? It's fine. It's fine. You don't, just so I'm clear, you don't have any other, like, magical weapons stashed somewhere or anything. I mean, it's going fine, but you don't, that I'm pretty locked in, I assume. She laughs and says, duck, there's no way for me to get you another weapon. That's

the only one of its kind on, and then she's gone. And then I think that night you're in bed and you're probably feeling pretty good about yourself, got some good hits off. Why don't you mark experience? That's not typically how this works, but I think you did a great job training, your bod and your skills. And so I think this would reflect that. We have to assume, we could say that that's probably an assumption of like, since we

have a lapse of time, there's probably a lot of failures in that time period. Exactly. Remark 84 experience. So we're not playing complete Calvin Ball. Yeah, sure. We're making up for lost fails. I think, also because y'all just didn't get very much experience at first arc. I mean, you probably failed a lot and didn't tell me, but...

Didn't roll a lot either. We're going to roll more, I feel like. Definitely. I think that night, you're in bed and you are asleep and you, you... And this has happened to you before, like, you feel it coming on, even though you're unconscious. and what does it look like? What do your visions look like? Do you know, this is going to sound like a weird touchstone, but you ever see like

rotoscoping? It's where they animate over real people. It's like that, but like a little more monochromatic, like a lot of hues of like sapphire and green. I like that a lot. But that's what they look like. I think you just see water. And I think you see, you don't really see any.

shapes in the water. I think your vision is a little bit too primitive for that. But you see this water and it's dark wherever this water is. And then you see your body. It's sort of like superimposed in this scene in that style. And you are face up and you are sort of, you look unconscious and you are falling in this water. Ned? Hmm. Now, what you've been up to? I think just to set it up because of the events of the the end of the first arc,

and I'm not sure if it was clear what happened there, but the video that Kirby posted was not your wookie costume, you like wandering through the woods. It was the camera still rolling, recording actually Barclay, actually Bigfoot, actually fighting, a big monster bobcat that was infected with the monster fluid that made it real big. But because of Ned's crummy camera work, there's still some doubt. Yeah, it is still like one of the most convincing pieces of Bigfoot footage that exists out there.

And that is why the Cryptonomica has been doing pretty well lately. You have not straight. You paid back the missing payments for your lease or mortgage or whatever. And you are, you're doing all right. not like rich, rich, rich, but like you are finally like making enough money to get by, which is, it's probably been a long time since the cryptonomica's been like that. So what have the last two months looked like for you? They've been pretty good for Ned.

He took all that extra money and bought some drones. Sure. What? Yeah, he bought some drones. And he's been cooking up a moth man. scam with Kirby. They had so much success with the Bigfoot video that he bought a couple of drones. So that's kind of been percolating on the back.

Is the mothman scam you're doing? Just to figure it out, like you have some sort of paper cut out of a moth man that you attach to the drone and just fly it around the town? So much, so much more elaborate than that. It's using a series of lights and phosphorescence and lasers. There's some lasers involved. We haven't really put that in effect. That's been kind of pushing the back burner.

Ned was super behind on his rent about to lose the shot. And he gets all this money. He's like, cool, finally. Drones. Yeah. Bought drones. Yeah. Well, paid off the rent, you know, but, you know, money means nothing to Ned.

He has no concept of it. How's it different now doing the Cryptonomica stuff while you actually have like, like a pretty frequent stream of visitors. I think it's mostly like hikers who are like maybe doing the trail or... A lot of folks doing the trail. A lot of folks have been coming into town. It's actually the success of the video has been kind of decent for the town in general. Okay.

You know, because people have been staying at local hotels and eating in the pizza hut. So, you know, it's been kind of a boon for cap. All right. It's still not up there with places like Canang Valley and stuff. Sure. But it's, you know, it's helped out.

Has there been any friction with you and the, specifically Barclay, I guess at Amnesty Lodge for, the fact that you put them, put him on blast. Kind of. Yeah. And not only that,

but I, it's, I don't think they're too happy. I'm, I'm going to say maybe, maybe Aubrey has done a little bit of damage control for Ned to be like, he's all, he didn't know.

He didn't know. Is it an accident? I don't think it was like a huge blow up, but I think Barclay was like, what the fuck, dude? This is like specifically not what we're going for here. So I want to do a scene with you, Ned, and I want it to be like now. I would like your catch-up scene to be like kind of now, right as we're getting into the start of the arc. But what could we do?

Well, I have an idea. One of the projects that Kirby and I've been working on is trying to get a, the local TV station. See, you know, because we're in the National Radio Quiet Zone, you know, there's like no satellite TV and no cable, but we do have a local TV station that basically is all you have in Kepler, WKWV, and they have agreed to let me do a late-night monster movie show, like the old Chiller Theater's. Right there at the Cryptonomica. We're going to shoot it right there.

And Kirby's gone out and gotten these cameras. And so we're putting it on Saturday nights. We're going to call it Saturday Night Dead up against Saturday Night Live. And we're just going to show scary monster movies like Roger Corman and, you know, all those old great drive-in movies every Saturday night. And we're getting ready for the first broadcast. We're getting ready for the first one. Okay. Let's do this at the Cryptonomica.

It's the day, it's like the morning before your first broadcast and you're talking with Kirby about what you are going to do that night. Okay. Can we, just to get a little bit more interplay, can we also say like, because I think that this would be an idea that Aubrey would be the showmanship and the thing. She's not in the scene, but maybe she's like in the background setting stuff up. You know, she's also there. Yeah, I mean, this is at the cryptic.

Is it shot at the Cryptonomica or is it shot at the TV station? No, no, shot at the Cryptonomica. All right. I think there's probably some production people there then, setting up some stuff, setting up some lights. I think they're sort of having to move around. There's probably like four or five people there at the Cryptonomica. Just like checking out the exhibits.

They want to see the Bigfoot video. You have like a display with the extended cut of the Bigfoot video going, which I think Berkeley was kind of uncomfortable about, but it's bringing in the big bucks. And you're getting set up. up. And Kirby, Kirby looks really nervous. He's like, I don't, Ned, I know this thing's happening tonight. I don't know. I'm not much for like public speaking or being in front of the camera. So like, oh, no, no, no. Do worry not, friend Kirby, because you're not going to be on camera. This is Ned's time.

This is all about me. Ned. I am the host. Well, what? Maybe you want the candelabras. The magic candelabras or the regular candleabras? I don't know what you mean. They're all regular candelabras. Well, yeah, but I mean, I thought we talked about the gag where you're going to shoot fire out of your fingers. Okay, I'll just put them somewhere. Shoot fire out of her fingers.

What are you talking about? Stage magician. She's a stage magician. Oh, yeah, that's right. I thought it would add to the pizzazz of the show. Yeah, for sure. That was what you just saw there was some really dope, like, hey, dad fucked up because And now I'm going to burn him.

That's Griffin. And then Griffin was like, here's a burn. And then dad was like, actually, twist, I got an answer ready for you. And Griffin's like, oh, shit. I've been reversed burner. Become the Bernie. Kirby says, so what flick you got on the docket for tonight? Ah, great one to start with.

It's called Beast with a Million Eyes. It's Roger Corman directed it, 1955. starring the brilliant Paul Birch and of course the second Darren from Bewitched Dick Sargent so it's got an all-star cast

it's about this family and they're on a date farm and aliens show up it's really a piece of shit people are going to love it people are absolutely going to love it he says yeah it sounds like I think it's a good idea I think it's going to bring in business but I got to tell you Ned I'm a little bit worried

because we've been doing pretty well here for a bit but the thing about Bigfoot, folks get kind of tired of these, you know, sidings after a little bit. You got to keep it fresh. So I don't know if we need to move forward with Operation Mothman or something, but I'm telling you, because I see this at the lamplighter all the time, you get a big scoop on a cryptid in town and people pay attention, but just for a little bit. So we need to do something if we're going to keep this momentum going. Oh, listen, the Mothman plan, we definitely do this.

This is just publicity, friend Kirby. This is just getting our brand, getting our name out there. I figured whatever we do with the Mothman, we kind of start unveiling it on the show. I like that. Oh, we have exclusive. Yes, Aubrey dear. You have more cobwebs? Yes.

Look over there behind the vat that has the giant floating brain in it, the fake brain. Got it. Thank you. I think in the middle of this sort of chaotic scene, The bell above the door rings, and in walks a young man. You've lived here for a while. You probably, it's not a huge town. You recognize him as Calvin Owens, the captain of the local high school swim team.

And he looks actually pretty shaken up. He sort of stops when he sees sort of the lights being put up and the decorations being put up. But he kind of shakes his head and he walks towards you and he says, hey, are you? you run this place, right? This, like, this monster museum? Absolutely. Welcome to the cryptonomica. When you stepped through that door,

you stepped through the arch of doom. Here, there be monsters, my friend. And what's your name? I think whenever you deliver this spiel to people, they usually look kind of delighted. He looks, like, scared. Do you know Calvin or not? I don't know, like, how deep Ned's roots in this town.

Not by name. I mean, he's a pretty big, pretty big jock. Yeah, sure. Around town. My name's Calvin. I've been in town for a while. I've never been in here, though. But I know that y'all know stuff about monsters and what do you call them cryptids here in town?

Cryptids, yes, yes. So, like, what do you do? What do you do? Well, we investigate. There are a lot of monsters, a lot of cryptos. We call them bomb bombs. We have a lot of bomb bombs running to the woods here in Kepler. Yes, Aubrey.

Is bomb bombs catching on? Only with me. Okay. I'm the only one, apparently. Calvin kind of puts his, he does the Adventure Zone NPC symbol, where he like, pinches the bridge of his nose and kind of closes his eyes. looks up at you and he says this is the only place I could think to come to

because you all know about monsters and stuff and so well I got a new one for you so hey if you're not familiar which you should be if you listened last week but maybe you didn't because that wasn't like a canonical Adventure Zone episode everything we said in there was bullshit

no it was all bullshit I just mean it wasn't like like a narrative episode. I don't give a shit. Anyway, Max Fun Drive is here. It only happens once a year, Vern. And we come to you sort of hat in hand and say, hey, did you like the show? And then you say, yeah, I did.

And we're like, well, could we have some money for it for doing that, the show, good for you? And you say, well, yeah, absolutely. Let me do that right this second. So you go to the max fund, maximum fund.org for it slash donate and you pick a donation level that works for you. And again, this is a precursor. We say this all the time. But if it's uncomfortable for you or, you know, you can't make it happen, we understand, you know, it's a decision you got to make for yourself. And we don't want anybody to be put out.

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Walk us through the gifts, dad. Well, you get exclusive bonus content. That's, do the voice. And for $10 a month. We'll tell him about the $10 a month. You don't know what you get for $5 a month? Do $5 a month first, Daddy. You get exclusive bonus content.

How much? Yeah. I don't have that on the sheet in front of me. It's like over 120 hours. Over 120 hours. That's right. 120 hours all for you. $10 a month, you got it.

The 120 hours is for all the shows throughout the network. All the shows throughout the network. They're all there at your very fingertips. What do we do? Can you talk about what we did this year for the Max Fund Drive? Because it's very good. This year, we did the Adventure Zone Elementary. And holy cow did we have a great time pretending to be detectives and vampires.

What if I can spare a little bit more cashed at and I can kick in 10 bucks a month? Ten bucks a month. Wow. Well, I tell you what, if you're a Taz Amnesty fan, you're really going to dig that because we've got those beautiful enameled pins. That's right, enameled pins. And the Adventure Zone's enamel pin is Dr. Harris Bonkers. Check it out.

Dr. Harris Bonkers. You love him. You know him. It's a little flame on him. It's really cute. Now, $20 a month, you get everything from five. You get everything from 10, but you get the max fun family cookbook. telling you, this thing has recipes, everything from cocktails to desserts, everything in

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Not lava. Don't put lava in it. Daddy, what's the thing? the difference between a Karef and a Keraf. Don't dunk on our dad. He's doing his best. Long A short A, my young friend. It's got a MaxFun Rocket logo on it.

Now get this. We don't have to deal on the levels up there. Oh, I love this one. I never get to do 50. I know, but we don't ask you. Just whatever you. It's a surprise. You got to go to maximum fund.org for first.

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forward slash donate. So the three of you have reconvened at Amnesty Lodge with Calvin in tow. The lobby here is fairly quiet. There's just a few guests loitering about, not guests, but residents, I guess, loitering about. They're all in their human disguise, sort of given their uncertainty about the outsider that has come in with you. And Calvin still seems pretty shaky as Barclay enters from the kitchen. and hands the four of you, each a cup of some strong smelling cinnamon tea. And after taking a sip of his tea, Calvin says,

So, I don't really know what y'all's story is, but... Look, I'm not a big believer in all the monster stuff that some folks in this town are always talking about. Sorry, Ned. But I know what I saw last night. What did you see? I saw the pool that I've swum in every day. Swam?

Swam. Swam. Swim. Swim. Have swamming. I mean, I'm the captain of the pool team. You'd think I would know the past tense version. Say did lapse.

Yeah. The pool I did laps in last night, it came alive. I don't know how to describe it because it's water and I've never seen water do that. But I got to. know, was that real? Do monsters really exist here? And when he says that, I think

Barclay, like, kind of locks eyes with, with, uh, probably with Ned, because he knows that Ned is the biggest sort of loudmouth in this department, uh, and is making a face at you like, dude, do, do, do, do it? You know,

um, like, Calvin was it? Yeah. No, listen, power suggestion is very strong, but, There's no such things as monsters. You don't have to worry about it. Why don't you roll to investigate a mystery? That is plus sharp.

So it's a seven. Okay. On a seven to nine, hold one. You get to ask one of the following questions. What happened here? What sort of creature is it? What can it do? What can hurt it?

Where did it go? What was it going to do? And what is being concealed here? Did he see where it went? Probably not. I think, so here's how this is going to work because you're just having a conversation. And this is for like hard details. I think he's going to tell you like what he saw.

Okay. But if you want actual, again, remember, and if you, if this is maybe the first episode of Amnesty you're listening to, the big thing for this game is gathering like hard intel on the monster that you are hunting, that you are going to have to use in battle because the, the odds are usually stacked pretty heavily in the favor of the monsters. The only way to get an upper hand is to sort of gather intel and act on it. So I think he's going to tell you what he saw. Okay.

But if you want something useful here, it's going to be the result of one of these questions. Okay, so I'll hold on to the question and ask you when I need it. Also, because I'm a spell slinger, I have the, I have forensic divination. So when I successfully investigate a mystery, I also get to ask the question, what magic was done here as a free extra question? That might be something that's better directed towards like Barclay. Yeah, I mean, so the other thing about this is that the information can only come in the context of like what you're getting it, from or who you're asking. And so, like, Calvin's not a fucking wizard.

Or is he? No, he's not. So I don't know how much. So, yeah, I think that's a good impulse. He'll sort of tell you what happened. And then you can ask one of these questions for some hard intel, keeping in mind that, like, he only knows what he saw. So he says, all right, last night I snuck in in the Kepler high pool and I was doing

some laps. We got the big meat coming up pretty soon. I was trying to get. Big meat. All right. I was trying to get, you know, tore ripped, all tore up in my, you know, the swimming muscles and, I don't know, it was late, it was real dark, and I don't want to brag, but I'm a pretty fucking good swimmer, but I, something grabbed me, pulled me under, and I was under for a while.

I was struggling under there for a bit, and I managed to break free whatever had me, and, you know, I had my eyes open down there. I didn't see nothing grabbing me, but I managed to get away. I swam, ran, got up towards the window. I snuck in through, and I was just about to hop out when I looked behind me. And, y'all, I swear to God, the water of the pool started to lift up, like make a hill in the middle of the pool. And when I sort of locked eyes with it, it didn't have eyes. When I looked over at it, it started to move over towards me.

And then I made my flight. and got out of water. You're saying the mound of water rose up and actually moved. That's what I saw. And Calvin, what did it seem like it was going to do? I mean, it pulled you under the water, but it seemed like it was intent on hurting you, yeah? Is this your question? What was it going to do? He says, I don't know, but it was moving towards me there at the end and it tried to drown me. I think it was going to try and kill me. I didn't, you know, talk to it. Calvin, would you excuse me for just one second?

And I, yeah, cross over to Barclay. Hey, I don't know how this usually works, but does this sound like anything you recognize? Any kind of, I don't know, creature or spell? Is that the thing? he kind of walks you over to like away from the place a little bit I think he's a little nervous about having this conversation anywhere near Calvin and he says I'm gonna I we can wait till afterwards but upon seeing this like I start talking to Calvin as well I have some stuff I want I say to Calvin so okay well that is happening concurrently to alleviate any uh concern of Calvin overhearing overhearing what they're talking about okay uh Barclay says I mean, some sort of like unnatural thing trying to kill somebody. It's definitely an abomination. It's just like it's like a couple of days early.

It shouldn't be here yet. We still have a couple days before it was supposed to show up. They've been acting a little more erratic and unpredictable over the last year or so. They've abided by certain rules for decades, but now they're starting to bend them. But yeah, I'm pretty sure if this is, that's our mark. Calvin, let me bend your ear for a second. Yeah. You know me.

You know, we've known each other a long time. I went to school with your dad, actually. So we, you know that we're not sort of crime fighters or police officers or anything. I know the uniform can be a bit misleading. But what we do do is, you know, you asked about us. We're kind of enthusiasts into this sort of cryptozoological world. You know, weird stuff happens here in Kepler, because Ned's got his sort of interests, and Audrey's got hers,

and I, you know, I'm interested in, like, creatures and stuff, and Audrey's interested in magic, and Ned likes to keep track of, like, how people make up monsters and stuff. They call them cryptos. I'm not making this up. Oh, no, I know. I know. No, no, no. I understand. What I'm telling you is we have weird stuff happens in Kepler, right? Like, that won't come as a surprise to you. We all know it. But sometimes people who have ill intentions like to use that to try to cover up whatever, you know, dark stuff they want to get up to. So, because we know about the sort of crypto's, logical stuff. We're interested in it.

Sometimes we like to just help out and poke around, poke a few holes, and make it a little bit easier for the real heroes, you know, to kind of do their job. And because usually, you know, you start to see it unravel pretty quickly. Once we start poking around, you know, it's somebody's using a shop vac, you know, to make stuff move or whatever. You know, people got all kinds of tricks. So I think, but I think it would be cool here is if we did a role, there's to manipulate someone. and I think we can do this,

once you have given them a reason, tell them what you want them to do in Roll Plus Charm. I think what you're doing is trying to assuage his fears, so he's not going to, like, poke into, like, what you all are doing. Yes, exactly. And the reason you're giving them is that, you know, it's all good here.

There's no, there's no monsters. We're a team that's sort of investigating. I'm also trying to, like, lay down a cover. Yeah, for sure. He can tell other people in case, you know. So it needs to. I think Roll Plus Charm and I think the stakes here are Calvin's sort of, continued interference into this thing.

Okay. Roll plus charm. Ah, ha. Nine plus one. That's a ten. Okay, then they do it. Consider yourself manipulate. They do it for the reason you give them.

I think he just looks relieved and he's like, all right. Yeah, I was starting to think that it was a little silly. I don't know, maybe the Jets kicked on too hard and there were, it would make me feel a lot better if y'all would go go you know look look around but i i don't know you seem like you're not full of shit on this so i'll i guess i'll drop it and he looks i think he looks for the first time since like you all i've been talking to him he looks like he's calmed down and and listen you don't need to go don't we'll pass this all along to the the zeke and the boys over the uh the sheriff's office let us poke around into it and we'll uh and and we'll just we'll poke some holes in this whole you know water

thing and find out what really going on here. And you know, those guys don't like to lift a finger. So we'll kind of wrap it up in a nice little bow for them and drop it off at their office. My metaphor's got away from me. Yeah, a little bit. You know what I'm saying. Mr. Keeper, are any of the accumulated residents of Sylvain there have a medical background? No, I don't think so.

I think, I mean, there's, there's werewolves and vampires and a ghost. And so they have, like, magical backgrounds, but no, like, mental. one. Well, I just wondered if it would behoove us to take a look at Calvin's ankle where he was grabbed. Interesting. Well, I mean, it was the only physical contact that. Yeah, and obviously, none of us are going to have the expertise to, like, have any, derive anything from it, but Barkley, Barclay. Barclay, not, it's not Charles Barkley. He shows up in Arc 4. Oh, I was thinking it was, I was thinking Barclay from the, from Sesame Street. Why don't we, why don't you roll two invest eight minutes like you could just do it right and and that way we all sort of get a hand on the

on the ball in this scene okay um eight plus what uh sharp yeah then that's a 10 is it you a plus two sharp wow yep uh okay on a 10 uh hold two so you get to ask two questions and i think we sort of resolve this this thing here uh with maybe um what can it do or what happened here what happened here or something like Listen, Calvin, I know it sounds a little weird, but I am quite an aquatic fan myself. Like a swim fan, a swim fan, you might say. I'm a swim fan. Wait, no. I'm going to murder you.

I have a Michael Phelps poster in the Cryptonomica in the back, back, back, back, backpack room. But could I maybe take a peek at your ankles? You know, a lot of power derives from the kid. Dad, I just want to say thank you for making this as creepy as you possibly could in like 30 seconds. I really appreciate it. I think you've seen him sort of walk favoring one of his legs and sort of put it together like that. And he says, yes. And he rolls up his pant leg and props it up on the table.

And you look at his ankle and there is like a mark there. It's not like a hand print or anything like that. it's just kind of, it's just kind of, uh, just sort of a red, uh, area, I guess is the only way to describe it, uh, that wraps around his, his whole ankle. And I think what you sort of gleaned from that is like he was not necessarily grabbed by a, by a, a hand necessarily. Um, my second question, you, you, you said you opened your eyes and you looked when you were under the water. Now, I realize you probably didn't see much, but did you see anything at all? I know, chlorine. I know, kills me too, but did you see anything in the water at all?

Is this what sort of creature is it? Okay, I guess it's what happened here. I want to know what he saw. If he saw anything. Yeah, I think it's one of those two. This is the second question, so I guess it's six and one and a half dozen the other. He says, I didn't have my goggles on, unfortunately. I was taking a little breather when it grabbed me, but I don't know, Ned, it was pretty

dark and it was underwater. I didn't have my goggles on, and I'll tell you what, though. Here's some moonlight coming in. Moon was real bright that night, and so, like, that was sort of what I was swimming by. But when I was under there, I feel like I saw, like, a different light. Like, not moonlight, it was kind of, I saw it for, like, a millisecond, so this ain't gospel, but it was, like, yellow light under there?

Like, I thought, like, biolumines. In essence? Phosphorescent? No. No, just like a, not like a, you know, there wasn't no, I wasn't grabbed by an electric heel or anything like that. It was just, I thought somebody had changed the pool lights out and put in some different bulbs or something, but the bulbs, the lights were out. But there was some sort of yellow light under there. I don't know. That's what, that's what I saw. Damn you, Sinestro! That's such a dorky joke. I love it. And I think with that, I think Calvin, says, so y'all are going to look into this, right? I feel a lot better just knowing that, like, the meat's coming up in four days. I don't want folks, you know, getting pulled under or killed by some sort of living pool or something

while the competition's taking place. So if y'all would look into it, it would really help me sleep a bit better tonight. Right, yeah, absolutely. The chicaners will be on the case. And now I'm still not sure about that one. The chicaners. Nah, it's just us three people going to go check it out. Yeah, we're the chicaners.

We don't even really have a team name, Calvin. Well, but chicaners, it would be cool. The chicaners. Get them on a jacket. Well, I already have. The three chicaners. I already have a jacket. We may add other people or one of us might beef it,

so we don't want to hang our hand on the number of people. And also, we are just three regular people. Yeah, but for spring, you know, something lighter, like a windbreaker kind of thing. I got that, too. The forestry department issues that to me, so I'm kind of covered on the jacket front, pretty much any thickness or lining. I'm pretty well covered. I'm not a fan of because of the hat, you see.

Ah, right. Yeah. So maybe for right now, we're just going to go with three people who are looking into it. Calvin, thanks so much. I'm assuming you've left. The room at this point. Real quick, you mentioned jackets, and I think you all have received a pine guard patch. Not make the jackets.

No, I know, but the jackets. So you all have a pine guard patch at this point that you're supposed to sort of fasten to the inside of your jacket. Does it have to be inside? Yes, it's like a secret thing. You don't want to go around saying I'm a part of a team of monster hunters. I think maybe if you put it on the outside the first time like Barclay saw, you he was like what do you know inside goes inside for secrets ducks ducks is in his wallet because he doesn't know how to sew okay and i will say obry's just like safety pin hers into the

inside of her vest love it i've got mine in a i'm gonna get a tattoo of it that's okay do you have it on your person also in addition to your tattoo and also you don't have it yet but you're gonna get around to it yeah i've got it but it's been really busy yeah sure Okay, yeah, I think Calvin, after this great dialogue, stands up and he says, all right, I got to head out, actually, it's my brother's birthday, and I actually snuck out of the house to come here as is, but maybe we can circle back. Tell us about your brother. He's a doofus, but maybe we can circle back before the swim meet, and I can find out what y'all found out. Tell me Calvin's last name is Hobbs. It's Owens.

Crap. named after listener Calvin Owens. Thank you for tweeting about the show. He asks if you can circle back up before the meet. Yes. It's a problem when any one of the three of us can answer. He's just kind of, it's weird like, well, I know if I say it now, it's like this math you do where like with each second that passes, the likelihood of someone else answering becomes

higher, so you don't want to, like, step on anybody. So we just fall into a circle of not being able to answer. Yes, we will. No problem. And Calvin stands up and leaves the Leaves Amnesty Lodge. And with that, I think Barclay walks over to the seat he was sitting in and sits down and he says, All right, I guess it's a work day. We should probably start our investigation.

If this thing showed up, we can assume the clock starts then. We got, you know, we got about a week before it's able to leave Canada. Deppler, and so we need to find out what it is and take it down before it does. So I got to stay here. Could you make us some lunches? Yeah, of course I make you some lunches. That's my jam. But, you know, mom ain't back yet. And so I got to, you know, hold down the fort here. Are you three good to, I know, I don't know how well you've been keeping up with your practice and stuff. Fabri, I know you've been going out back and we've been shooting some fire at some shit, but y'all, y'all feel all right about tackling this one on your own? Sure. Go to a swimming pool? Yeah. I just,

got one question. One of my partners has a real heavy stick that he clobbered stuff with. I got a sword, and my other partner shoots fire out of her hands. How the hell do we fight water? Doc, I don't know. That's the job. One of the tricky things about this gig is we don't get repeats. There's not a lot of sort of institutional knowledge that comes into play here.

I've never seen a water monster come through. So you're going to have to figure that out on your own. But I think a good place to start is maybe heading to the scene of the attack last night and seeing what you can find out there. Obviously be careful. You don't want to fight it until we know how to kill it. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't get in the water. But I think if you head to the pool and see what you can see,

it might be a sort of good place to good launch pad. All right. and he he stands up and I think he picks up the empty cups of of tea and puts them on a tray and he says and listen I appreciate you not telling Calvin the truth of the matter and you got to keep this stuff secret Ned you got it's it is so important I mean it's to all of you but I'm talking to Ned specifically here because he can't seem to you know, shut up about it. It's humans have a long history of freaking the hell out when they find out about Sylvain. And that usually ends with them coming over and causing a ruckus. The night that you three found out, that was an anomaly. It is of the utmost importance that nobody else gets clued in, okay?

My friend, discretion is my middle name. I thought your middle name was fucking. Ned fucking discretion chicanne. That's me, Jr. And I think with that, the door to Amnesty Lodge opens and shuts and a a man walks in, a tall, sort of handsome, very neatly dressed

man walks in, he's wearing a suit and kind of eyes the place over and sort of nods at one of the guests with a kind of friendly demeanor. And he walks over to the four of you, and he introduces himself. He says, I'm looking for Ned Chican, proprietor of the Cryptonomica.

I was told by his associate Kirby, I could find him here. Hmm. What do you need, jolly old Ned for? Uh, he, I think he sees you, Ned, and just like deduces, oh, that's Ned. Damn. Mr. Chacon, my name is Agent Stern, FBI. At your earliest convenience, sir. I would just love to see your Bigfoot video.

So that's going to do it for us this week. Travis went to go throw up. Travis is very sick. You recorded this episode very sick, and we're all very proud of him. He's an inspiration. He was able to fight through it for you, the listener. And what are you going to do for Travis? Well, luckily, you can do something.

You can go to maximum fun.org slash donate and really thank Travis for Travis. Yeah, so we really appreciate all the support that you all have. have given us, especially during the experimental arts, we're trying out some new stuff and trying to find our footing for season two. And we hope that you enjoy it. And this is a really great time of year to show your support of our show, try to help us meet our goal of 25,000 new and upgrading members. You can help us get there by going to maximum fund.org slash donate.

And again, you're going to get those cool gifts. You're going to get the feeling of satisfaction, knowing that you have helped keep this show afloat by, by supporting it in a very, very direct way. Yeah, it means the world to us. If you have the means, please consider going to donate at maximum fund.org slash donate. And there are a lot of different levels for you to choose from. You know, just pick the one that fits for you.

And it's a really easy process too. It doesn't take much time, doesn't take a lot of effort. It really is very simple. So that's it for this week. We will be back next week with another episode that will be. April, what day is that going to be? April 19th will be another episode and then that'll get us back on schedule and then we are going to get back to biweekly so that I can stop being so anxious all the time.

So new episode next week, April 19th, live show this weekend, Friday, Dallas. We'll see you real soon. And also, this is a mim-bam, but Houston, can you please come to our show, Houston? Yeah, Macroyoshos.com slash tours. Houston, hey, Houston, can you come see you? show. But yeah, we'll see you soon and talk to you next week. And bye. Bye.