The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Dust Season 2 - Episode 1

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

The new ensemble of Graysons are sent to Crescent City to bring back a crucial community member, but it’s not that simple. Augustus manages his business. Indrid shakes some hands. Callan gets recognized. Lulu makes a dark deal. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Blood. Just one word, one syllable. But it means so many things to so many people. Your blood can run cold or it can boil. You can try to squeeze it from a stone or let it run in the streets. Others use blood as a way of saying guilt. Blood on your hands, that sort of thing. It doesn't even have to be about people. The railroad is the lifeblood of the West. Something is paid for with blood money. But most of the time, it's family. It's in the blood, flesh and blood. Blood is thicker than water. That one. Everyone always gets that one wrong. The real saying is, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Basically, the people you choose mean more than the folks you're born to. But the fact is that family, the one you had no choice on, has a way of working on you.

It pushes and pulls like the tide. Run as far as you please. but every time you stop to breathe, there it is. Pulsing just under the skin. A constant drumbeat in the background of every second of every day. Take a long look at yourself. Hard to tell how much is you and how much is them. Augustus, as the sun's visage dips below the mountainous horizon,

you find yourself somewhere no one wants to be in a flashback. The events of your previous investigation into the murder of Jerusalem, Jeremiah Blackwell are still fresh as you're finished preparing to leave Dry River and head to the Grayson Agency HQ to debrief. Errol has decided to stay and take on a leadership role in town. The word mayor is being thrown around a lot, but no one seems to be against it. Gandhi, well, you aren't quite sure where Gandhi is. You overheard her saying to Uncle O'Ne something about the chaos book you found, but you haven't seen her since. You are suddenly aware of someone staring at you.

A lone figure standing still as a statue catches your eye. She's only a stone's throw away, but you'd have sworn she wasn't there a second ago. You recognize her. She is Jeremiah's mother, though you can't remember if you ever caught her name. Once you have registered her presence, she approaches. I can see that you are prepared to leave, so I will not waste your time. I don't believe we have officially met. My name is Elizabeth Blackwell.

It's my pleasure, Miss Blackwell. My name is Augustus Parsons. I am the CEO in absentia of Cash Universe. Excellent. Well, my husband has, I believe, already spoken to you regarding our daughter. However, he wasn't nearly as emphatic as the situation requires. You see, though he would never admit it, my husband is very ill, dying, in fact.

I doubt he will make it another two months. I am, of course, sorry to hear of that. Oh, yes, of course. Jeremiah was in line to handle operations at the mine following his father's death. Now that he is dead, there is a void. There needs to be filled. I have no interest in running the mine myself. My time is filled with other pursuits.

However, our family depends on the income from that mine, so I think you understand the issue. We are people of business. Let us state it plainly. We need a successor so that the mine remains stable, so that our business interests remain stable. I am sorry, but my obligations as the CEO in absentia, the GEO of Cash Universe, do keep me very busy. Unfortunately, I'm unable to accept your very kind offer. No, I'm sorry, you have misunderstood. You will travel to Crescent City.

Once there, you will locate my daughter Pearl Blackwell. You will, by any means necessary, bring her back to Dry River so that she can succeed her father upon his death. Your expenses will be covered, as well as your standard fee. Is that clear? Pearl Blackwell is in Crescent City. Correct. And I need to bring her here. So she may serve as the successor to your husband once he sadly passes.

Yes, we are on the same page. Excellent. As to her whereabouts within the city, that I do not know. Pearl and I have had something of a falling out, and I have not heard from her in months. However, you can start by locating her friend, a human girl named, and she checks a piece of paper. Lorelei Horn. My contact says that she is often at a tavern of some sort called intravenous. She shouldn't be too hard to find. I expect results soon. Well, I do aim to please.

Will I be doing this on my own? I have, of course, capable, but a few extra hands never went awry. Well, I have already contacted the Grayson Agency. They said they will be sending along two other partners for you. People who are well-versed in the goings-on of Crescent City, they should be able to aid you. But I trust you as a fellow person of business. You will understand the expeditious nature of this job.

What do I do if young Miss Blackwell does not wish to return home? As I believe I have already stated, complete this task by any means necessary. Bring her home in irons, if you must. It's quite the relationship you have with your young girl, but then who am I to judge? Do you know who they sent, by the way? I can work with anybody, but, you know, there are some who I click with a little better of the agents I've met. I would say I apologize, but that would be an exaggeration when I say I couldn't care less.

as long as the job gets done, that is the only thing that matters to me. I suppose I can respect that. And with that, she departs with not another word. Usually vanishing without a trace is kind of my thing. Well, what do I do now? All Augustus left to your own devices. Well, let me look over here. Hmm.

Building? This is so strange. I guess I should start walking. No. Augustus. Don't be stupid, Augustus. You need a... Is there a carriage?

Oh, God, there's got to be someone to interact with her out of ear. Augustus goes invisible. Okay. All right, Augustus, don't panic. Don't panic. You just need to move forward towards your objective. No one knows you're here. It's quite all right.

You're talking to yourself. Be quiet. All right, now you're thinking to yourself. this is better. All right. Remember, where is the carriage place to get me to Crescent City? Someone has to know.

I'm searching my memory for where the horses and stuff. Damn it. All right, can I do a perception to look for horses? You absolutely can't. I was just going to jump you forward because you're in a flashback,

but yeah, man, you look for horses all you want to. Okay, I'll jump forward. Let's see my fellow. on the horses. Okay, but it wasn't easy. I'm not going to lie. You had a hard time.

That's no better than I deserve. Yeah. Now almost two weeks later, you stand in the middle of a busy street. They're still looking for a car. No, it should be noted. It's only a three days ride to Crescent City, and it's two weeks later. Now almost two weeks later, you are in the middle of a busy street. You were flanked on either side by the agents that Dallas Grayson thought would serve this mission best.

Who are those two agents? Can you remind us? Clint and Griffin. You first dad. It's your birthday. It is your birthday. Happy birthday, Clint. Happy birthday, dad.

Thank you. Is this a bitch? Is this a bit? No, it really is. Also, hi, Erica. Erica's here too, everyone. Erica is she'll come in and just a little bit.

We bring Eric on whatever is dad's birthday. Yeah. It hasn't matched up with any recording dates in the past. This is the first time. Yeah, I baked myself into this cake at everything, so just get to my intro soon, okay? She's suffocating for the love of God. Come on.

Now, you're the one who chose to get in the cake before you baked it, and that was your mistake. Okay, no one made you do that. I'm a podcaster, not a baker, Travis. That's fair. You got me. All right, Clinton, who do we see? You see a, uh, the gunfighter Callan. Callan is a bad dude, real bad dude.

Like he spray paint stuff or any like he throws recycling in the trash game? He's just bad at what he does. No, he's a badass. He's just a flat out killer who just, you know, he's not a lot of fun. He's not a fun character. He is tall and lean. And gruff and mean. A really bad attitude.

I think it's bold in the. intro episode of this mini arc for you to say that your character is just not going to be any fun. Yeah. You shut the hell up. Whoa. You just said it. No. Shut the hell up.

Oh no. When I want to hear your lip, I'll ask for it. This is like when that guy played the riddler and it made his brain hurt. It's exactly like that. Oh, no. Callin's in dad's brain. What about you, Griffin? I am playing a much younger, I suppose, mothman, injured cold, recently transplanted, or I guess I should say kicked out of Sylvain, unable to return to his magical home world, and now has found himself in Crescent City, sort of under the thumb via accident of one Dallas Grayson.

And so here I am trying to earn my wings, literally and figuratively. All around you, there is action and life. Crescent City, the most populated in modern city in the Crescent Territory. A fine veneer of prestige and opportunity is draped over everything the I sees. But one only needs to scratch the service to find the same layer of corruption and desperation as every other town on the map. The city will bleed you dry as the desert. The only difference is that Crescent City's victims ask for it. No, they beg for it.

Now, before we get any farther, Indrid, I need you to make a foretelling. Probably should have gotten my D-Sund pact, huh? Oh, yeah, that would have been so good. So cool. Yeah, I mean. Really cool. Okay, so what are we talking about? 2D6.

You are going, yeah, you're rolling with spirit. There's our first role of the game. This is powered by the apocalypse system for anyone who. who doesn't know, that means you roll 2D6. On a 6 or below total, it is a complete miss on a 7 to 9. It is a mixed success. And for a 10 and above, it is a success. And that means different things depending on what you roll.

But we'll talk about that when it comes to it. For now, Griffin, roll 2D6 against Spirit. Yes, so I have a 2 Spirit. I rolled a 7, so that is a 9. Okay, great. on a seventh and nine, I will tell you what your prophetic tools have revealed, but you must also choose one of these. A threat is closing in, an ally is plotting a betrayal,

or a death lurks in the shadows. I mean, definitely that last one for the bad question. And what about my good options here? Do I get to pick, or do you tell me what my prophetic tools have revealed? You pick one of the options below. How about a tragedy has made it possible for you to escape or alter your prophesized path? The MC will tell you what you must do. Excellent.

Okay, great. Here's what I will tell you. So you had already prophesized the death of Augustus Parsons, which you attempted to warn him about, but you were unsuccessful because you did not make him aware of the entire scope of the threat. Yes. You know that Flint Chittles is working here in Crescent City for a powerful person, and you have a very strong feeling that that will come into play in the near future. Is that the a death lurks in the shadows, the MC will tell you how you can avoid it,

or is that the how to escape or alter your prophesized path? That is how to escape or alter your prophesized path. Okay. So now you know that the addition of. flit and chittles in the mix and you knowing he's there as he owes a debt to augustus parson will be very beneficial to your party in the near future okay what about a death lurks in the shadows the emcee will tell you how you can avoid it um so you have i'm going to be very uh very specific in how you can avoid it okay um there will be a moment where uh a a threat will be imminent to you and your

friends and by simply staying at the back of the party, you will have the opportunity to avoid it. Now, when you say party, do you mean the kind with dips and chips? Or do you mean like an adventuring party? Oh, okay. Fantastic. Yeah, I mean, that was going to happen no matter what. So, excellent. Now you can be insistent. Yeah. After some time spent asking around, you find yourself standing across a bustling street from the object of your search. You have found intravenous. The air inside is thick and acrid. And let's see, I'm going to say Callan, from your experience, you are aware of it right away.

You know exactly what that smell is. It's the smell of blood smoke. Tobacco soaked in blood and burned in hookas. It's popular, if somewhat illicit. pleasure activity for the vampire community. Do they have it in a vape format? Not yet. Because I'll try anything.

I'll try anything once. Not yet. Only the hookah format. They haven't quite figured out the alms for blood. I guess that's, it will probably be on their technological people. It's tricky. Don't want to burn it too much.

It's just bitter. Right? You don't enjoy it. Right. In the back, through the smoke, you see something you were not prepared for. Humans sit with vampires. The humans are drinking dark ale and tan liquor.

It flows freely and none of them seem to be paying, at least not with money. As they drink, they are also being tapped. Fang bartenders move to these humans' side every so often to draw small amounts of alcohol-rich blood. Then they serve it in shot glasses to waiting vams. And it seems everyone is getting what they want. The bartender catches your eye and waves you up. over. Well, hello, some of you I recognize. Any points at you, Callan? Some of you, I have not had the pleasure. What can I get for you this evening? Would you like a seat at the bar?

My name is Augustus Parsons. Oh, of the Augustus Parsons Cashew Company. Oh, were that the case? What a relief that would be? No, I'm the CEO in absentia, the GEO, if you will, of Cash Universe. Excuse me? We've, the company recently rebranded to Cash Universe. Oh, that's a better name. I mean, no offense. Sorry, it's just catchy. The Augustus Parsons Cashew Company.

No, yes, it is the most veriating part for sure. No, we are here looking for Lorelei Horn. She was spotted here. I was hoping you might be able to point. us in her direction. I should mention I am not serving in my capacity currently as the CEO of Cash Universe, the GEO, pardon me, of Cash Universe. I'm here as a duly appointed representative.

Of whom? The Grayson's. Now, are you using the Grace that you're dropping the Grayson name? That would be flashing a badge. Is it? Yeah. Because I feel like that's just a regular. thing.

You should, okay, let me question this mechanic because I know you pulled it out of your butt. I don't think that you should be corrupted for telling people who you work for. That's fair, yeah, we'll do it as... If you're not trying to persuade someone to do something they wouldn't normally do,

I will grant you the flash and the badge makes a lot of sense, right? But like, I feel like it would be wild if Jeff Bezos came up to you as like, hey, it's me, Jeff Bezos. Have you seen Greg? I need to find him. He's a friend.

Right? Like you would want to see some ID. I think Jeff Bezos has probably marked a fair bit of corruption. Yeah. He's like a couple times. There is not an element to the thing that you have just said that would make it not wild. There's literally nothing I can think of that Jeff Bezos could do in that circumstance of him walking up and look. He could show me 18 forms of ID and I would still be like, what is happening now is wild.

As we have discussed in this world, Augustus Parsons is like an Orville Redenbacher figure. Yeah. Like, so imagine Orville Redenbocker was like, I'm on the hunt of a man. I'm trying to find a man. Like, he would want to know who he's doing it for. I guess. Okay. Yeah.

So that is not inherently corruption. Well, I would be happy to do that. But this is a business. And I am a business person like yourself. So I have to ask, what's in it for me? Well, question, the gracens are not like a law enforcement, right? Like, I can't like arrest her or anything like that, even a citizen's arrest. I mean, the thing is, is when you talk about arrest, right, that implies that there is some sort of enforcement to back it up, right?

You could, hypothetically, anybody can put anybody in handcuffs, right? What you're asking is, is there any kind of way to back it up? it up so that it's like I have some perceived enforcement abilities here? No. The answer is no. The only thing that allows you to be able to take someone into, for lack of a better word, custody is whatever strength, intimidation, persuasion, whatever you bring to the scenario that convinces people in that moment that you have the personal authority to do this thing, if that makes sense. Right. I'm going to try to persuade an incident. NPC.

Well, I am in the service of a very wealthy client who I am certain would be very appreciative of your assistance. Well, that is wonderful to hear, and I appreciate appreciation. But appreciation doesn't pay the bills. And so I'm more of a... let's say I'd rather have, you know, 20 today than 50 at some point. What about, um... Whoa, holy.

Where did you come from? I've been sitting here literally the whole time. Oh, okay, sorry. But what about 1,000 at some point? At what point? How about 1 million at some point? What do you mean? Let me, um...

May I see your hand for a second? Do you want to touch it? Because you see with your eyes. It's just you see with your eyes you touch with your hand. May I touch your hand for a moment? Thank you. Yes, words mean things. I usually don't have to do this, but I find myself in a somewhat weakened state.

Let me check out something real quick. And I want to sooth say with this. Sorry, did she tell us her name? His name is Kit. His name is Kit. Okay, Kit, I want to sooth say into Kit's future to see if I can see what the future of this blood-smoking business is. You mentioned it was illicit.

I want to see if somewhat illicit if this place is going to get busted or if there's some sort of whatever the hot new craze in blood-smoking, whatever the next blood-smoking trend is. I want to try and see into this person's future. Excellent. What faction is Kit? Kit is Mortales

I'm marking it Okay that is a 9 plus 2 and 11 Oh Okay So when you Sooth say The MC will tell you something new and interesting About their destiny

On a 10 plus you may ask a follow-up question The MC will answer honestly So tell me something new and interesting About Kit's destiny Um I think specifically as a business owner If I'm allowed to do Yes, so there is, you know what,

menthol blood smoke is about to hit in a big way. That's it. That would be great for teens, too. Yeah, it's really going to bring them in. Okay, and then follow-up question. Do they have like drinks stuff here also? Oh, yeah, the free booze for humans and then blood from those booze. soaked humans for the vampire.

Is there any mint here? Oh yeah. They make a... Yeah, for like jolips and what have you? Yeah, like a mohitos. Yeah, of course. All right, I want to grab one of those and say, hold on one second.

And I just sort of grind it up a little bit and then squish it into some blood's tobacco. And I'm like, how does this mess you up? Wait, so like, minty blood? Huh. Your kids are, your kids are gonna love it. I don't plan on having children. It's just not really.

Something I'm interested in. Someone's kids are going to love it. Okay, well, this being old times, yeah, it's great. Doctors talk about how great blood smoke is for... And this has plants in it. Yeah, it's like a vegetable. For extra health. Yeah.

That's wonderful. Excellent. Okay, yeah, you know what? I'm sold. Thank you, friend. What was your name? Indrid. Okay, well, listen.

Anytime you want to come by for some blood smoke, you let me know, friend. Oh, that's gross. That's super gross. and not my thing, but it's, you know, one man's blood smoke is another man's... Oh, I don't do it. I just assume since you were so comfortable touching the blood-soaked tobacco that you were a fang. Oh, no, no. I have a sort of proboscis on a good day.

Well, you know, to each their own. Sure. So if you're looking for Loreline and he starts kind of scanning and he goes, oh, yeah, she's right over there. And through the haze of smoke and den of noise, you spot your quarry. Pearl Blackwell sits at a small table to others. They are huddled close in what appears to be a clandestine communication. Pearl looks much like the photo her mother gave you, but there is a noticeable difference. She is less, for lack of a better word, adorned. She is dressed simply and wears no jewelry or makeup. Still, you are struck by her elegance, an elegance which has nothing to do with

anything on the surface level. She looks up and meets your eye. And when she does, her companions turn as well. One is dressed even simpler than pearl. She has her hair pulled back and a loose ponytail, and she seems skittish and doesn't meet your eye. The other, Erica, can you introduce us to Lulu, please? You see a lovely young girl, and you notice her cute little flat button nose and a little beauty mark to the left of it. Her left, not your left. She's a little moon face and hooded eyes with dark curls piled high atop of her head and light olive skin. She's wearing a fine Parisian fashion of a bustled dress, it's teal with black-beated fringe, and she sits primly and properly and seems to be huddled with the other two girls, almost

conspiratorially. After a moment and Pearl realizes that you are not looking away after eye contact is made, she motions you over with a nod. And when you get close to the table, she says, yes, hello, was there something you needed or could you simply not give your eyes to yourself? Well, and if you find gentlemen, want to give her an answer? Do you, sorry, do you, the three of you ever have that moment where you expect the other two to start talking, but then they just don't. And then you're in hell? You feel like you are in hell in that moment? Usually that's when I've talked a lot already, and I'm hoping other people will talk to establish who they are.

My good man, you have no idea what it's like to be in hell. And social awkwardness is actually quite close to that. Yes. A fine point. I was there for roughly 15 minutes right when I died. It was a clerical error. I've been assured. My people are still discussing the situation because I do demand recompense.

Allow me. I'm Augustus Parsons. We are looking for Lorelei Horn. And we're hoping you might be able to point us in the right direction. I'm Laura Lai? Well, look at that. What a fortune has favored us. today. My name is

Augustus Parsons. I'm a member of the Gracens and we are trying to locate Pearl Blackwell. We were hoping you might be able to point us in the proper direction. That is me, but

before we go any further who is this um... Wait, are you... Is this Lorelai and Pearl? Correct. Yeah. Laura is two birds, baby? Two birds. Easy. Laura, your excuse from the story. You're not necessary.

Who is this gentleman here with the piercing eyes who has yet to say anything but is just staring daggers through my face? Names Callan. He's spoken to you now more than he has to me, so you should consider yourself. Oh, shit. Callan. Yes. You know this man, Pearl? Callan the hunter.

Yes. Callan the law man. Not anymore. Callan the murderer. Is this going someplace? Well, no, it's just as a child. My father used to tell me stories about you to scare me into behaving. You had a very wise parent.

Agree to disagree. Was there something you needed or are you just a fan? We just need you. Well, I don't care for that. I'm going to go back to the little one. I think I enjoy talking to you most out of the three so far. What is it you need? Sure.

This has gone poorly. I am wise enough to realize one moment. I walk back to the bar and grab some mentholated blood smoke and bring it back to the table and set it down. Wait, it's not out yet. I mean, I grab my sample, my dim, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, Walter White nugget that I whipped up. His arts and crafts. Do any of you imbibe?

That's a pass from me. Gentlemen, generally introductions are in order before niceties are observed. I am Louise Lulu Kagayama and I run an establishment in this town that you may have heard of, the Maison Niho. And these, my compatriots, have already introduced themselves. It would be only gentlemanly if you would do the same. I saw a production of Oklahoma at the Maison Neon that really, I thought, made some bold, perhaps IP infringing choices that I adored. Oh, my goodness. You know, Curley is not quite the hero that he's always portrayed as.

No, kind of a dick, actually. And I feel like you highlighted that spectacularly. Now, Judd made some real good points. Well, I'm glad to hear. Of course. And Callan, when you hear Maison Nihon, you know this well. You used to visit that establishment when Lulu's parents were running it before she took over. So you know of that.

And Lulu, you, of course, have heard about Callan once Callan is introduced. And you have now made the connection that this is the man who used to be a lawman here in Crescent City and frequented your parents' establishments. That's right, but I never quite heard the Cal and the murderer stories because according to my folks, you always tried to do right by them and by the community. Yes, I did until the community decided it didn't want me to be a part of it anymore. God, can you feel that's struggling against playing a character that's not supposed to talk a lot? He's like, he's doing an amazing job. He's holding it back.

Holden it back. Yes. So I'm injured. I can see the future. I like to sort of cut out the BS because that's just how my mind works. And Pearl, you may find this hard to believe, but at some point you will be returning home to dry river. Excuse me? It is out.

Yeah, I don't, I'm not, the details of that are a little bit unclear to me, but I do know that that is going to happen. And so we were hoping that perhaps we could chart sort of a straight path from here to there so that we can complete our job. And you might be able to see off your, oh gosh, your ailing father, he is not well. Sure. That is news to me, but not surprising. I may be lying, by the way. I'm not exactly. I said that and then realized like, wait a minute. I don't know if that's a true statement or not. Well, how about this? How about you roll for mislead, distract, or trick?

And we will determine whether or not it is true. I was going to jump in and say that I'd like to do a figure someone out. Hey, listen, let's do both of it. Okay, let's do figure someone out first. And then we'll see what Intra is going to roll against. So this is two. And then... When you figure someone out, you roll with heart instead of...

mine because you have tons and silver. That was it. All right. So I'm rolling with heart. Nine. Okay. So on a nine, you can ask one question, those questions being, who's pulling your character's strings, what's your character's beef with, what's your character hoping to get from, what does your character worry is going to happen? How do I get your character to blink?

And how could I put your character in my debt? So what question do you have for Indrid? How can I put your character in my debt? This is just exploratory, hypothetical. Right, sure. I think Indrid's sole focus right now is getting these sort of restraints off of his power that were placed there by Dallas Grayson. And so he is taking this job as a means to an end to get that to happen.

But if someone else can figure that out, I don't think, I think he would probably be done with the Grayson's pretty much instantaneous. that is what you can do to put me in your dad. So let me see if I give this straight, gentlemen. You have come here at the behest of my father to convince me to return to dry river. Is that correct? Mm-hmm. Technically, your mother.

Oh, oh, sorry about that. I can't imagine that was fun. But I hate to explain. Charming woman. No, charming woman. Very direct. I liked her a great deal, actually. Reminded me of my mother. Elizabeth Blackwell? The one and only.

Who my? Okay. Well, you've just told me quite a bit about yourself. Here is the problem. That won't be happening. And I hate to disappoint you. But you see, I have a life here. And more than that, I have a purpose here. And I can't leave right now. It will happen though And you may not be able to understand Can I sorry it's very rude to meet someone Without shaking their hand and I hold out my hand And smile It's so weird when you wait 10 minutes

Yeah right I gotta get the having to do it like right away Because after 10 minutes and so he's like Oh one more thing Shake it Indrid wasn't Yeah It might have made a suggestion.

When you're trying to trick someone into touching you so you can read their fortune, don't start by telling people you can read the future and then go for the touch. Ask for the touch first and then reveal. No, that's not what they said. This is just a handshake. This is just a hand. I don't know why you're staring. Okay.

Do you want to, you can roll to mislead, trick, or distract with disadvantage. So I roll three. Yeah, roll three dice and take the two lowest. Take the lower two? Yeah, it's a four plus one of five. Yeah, so they are not fools. Yes, that's not going to happen. Now, if you'll excuse us, we are very busy.

We have something that demands our attention. I'm going to try to figure someone out on Pearl. I want to try to get how I can get Pearl into my debt. Okay. Roll against minds. Oh, no. I've got a negative one in mind. What if I did it?

I roll two die? Yes. Two dice, excuse me. Oh, I need to mark corruption, I think. My corruption triggers if I tell a false prophecy or lie about a true one. Yeah. Great. Seven?

That's cool. Okay, with a seven, you can ask one question. And on a seventh and nine, I'm going to ask you one as well. Okay. What is the matter you need to attend to? You have to ask one of the questions they are under figure it out. What are you hoping to get from this business? Hmm.

Hmm. That counts, right? That's one of the questions. Listen. Give me a second, Lulu. Here's, let me answer your question with a question. Oh, the greatest oratorical trick known to man. I'm ready.

I will answer yours if you are willing. Pearl, may I make a quick suggestion for a moment? So this Callan fellow, you know, he's known in the establishment. He's known in the community. The community may have decided they don't want them, but perhaps it could help us out. Yes, I also think that having... someone who can read the future would be very useful to our upcoming task. Absolutely.

And a ghost with great hearing. These seem like. Well, what can we do to get you in our debt? What will convince you to help us with our task? It's simple. We will help you complete this business. And in exchange, you agree to return with us to your mother.

Okay, here is the deal that we will make. This sounds good to me. Oh, no, well, let me put a different way. To your father's side before he passes on from this world. Sounds way. It sounds way. Sounds way, yes, yes, yes, fine, fine, yes, of course. For he croaks.

Oh, you are barking up the wrong tree. There are two or small addendums that I will make to that. One, I will return home. Though, and I hope that this does not affect your missive, I cannot guarantee how long I will stay there. Is that agreeable? I will return home. You all will get your papers and payment and all that.

And then what happens after that doesn't seem like your job anymore? All we have to do is get you there. Okay, E.or. I'm sorry. We have to take you home. I absentmindedly pick up the hook and I say, as long as you wait until the check's clear. Oh!

Why did I do that? It's an end of an acquired taste. I'll say. You know what would help is some mint, I think. Pearl, I will agree to these terms, but I would caution you to consider the thrilling world of business management before you're so brashly move on to the next town. It is a thrilling challenge. A lifelong adventure is how I would describe it. For me, literal, but an afterlife long adventure at this point.

Just think about it. Just probably you'll think of all. There is one more addendum. I will need you to sign this. And she holds out a document and... Your off bicep? No. Unorthodox, but...

My forehead. No. She holds out a document and you, Augustus, from your business dealings know what this is. And basically, it's a magical NDA that if you sign this, you're not committing yourself to the tasks that you will present,

but you will be unable to share the details of it once she has told you of them. I mean, it sounds like the only way we're going to get the information we need. Do you have a spectral pin? A regular pin that he can hold when he's not. Yes, it's fine.

I can manifest myself into a corporeal form. Please excuse me for just a moment. Hang on. Oh, don't watch. Look away. Yeah. Oh, boy.

You know, we could have just had somebody act as witness and sign on your behalf. Oh, you would like that, wouldn't you? For me, Augustus Parsons, to grant power of attorney to a third party. I'm sure that would delight everyone, Garretth Altizer included.

No, I don't believe I will be granting my power of attorney to a third party. Thank you very much. Stranger, I have just met. Now, hold on, based on the rules of manifest, we can hear you and you can pick up the pin, which means you're invisible right now. Yes. That's correct. Okay, cool.

The world of business management is perhaps not the path you want to consider, Pearl. No, not at all, but that's not the purpose. of these goings on. What about you, Callan, and Indrid? How about before I sign anything, you tell me who it is, you want me to kill? No, see, this is exactly the point. I'm not going to tell you any details. That's why the NDA. I'm not going to tell you. And plus, killing, there's not. There will be no killing. I can tell you that much. Though what methods you use to complete the task, I suppose will be up to you. So we're going to sign an agreement. to do a job with absolutely no damn clue as to what the job.

No, no, there is no obligation once he signed this paper. This is just to make sure that the details of this job remains safe. What the hell? Yes, very good. Kellen Scrawls an X at the bottom. Great. Indrid? I'll sign it.

Yeah, I sign it. Excellent. Can I try and hand the pin back to Pearl? Yeah. All right. Yeah, I want to try and discreetly as I hand the pin back to her, try to make contact and suet. Okay.

Another seven plus two, nine. I would like to unleash an attack, but only in terms of taking something from somebody. So I move forward to intercept the pen. Okay. Spicy. Blood. Seven.

Okay, wait. So, you have rolled what? What were you rolling? I rolled a seven, so that means I can unlace an attack, so I can take the pen from him, but then on a seven to nine, he also can either inflict harm on me or I find myself in a bad spot.

I want to just take a moment. Erica Ishii has interrupted someone's cool thing to do her own cool thing. Welcome to the Adventure Zone, Erica. Yay! That is our brand so happy to have you. Does anyone have a tertiary cool thing to interrupt? Can we interpret that as I sooth say Lulu instead?

Yeah. So you're going to soothe say Lulu. And when you sooth say Lulu, Oh, God, we've got to come up with a better word. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to tell you something new and interesting about her destiny. In the near future, she's going to have to come to terms with a wrong she committed in her past.

And if she hasn't able to do that, it will end very badly. Okay. I can't ask a follow-up question. But I will say the harm that is inflicted back to you at this, Lulu, is that whatever the wires crossing here of whatever his benefactor is and your benefactor is, it is a similar feeling you're going to feel a burning behind the eyes that you normally only feel in your benefactor. transition into demon form. And that burning is very clear to you, Indrid, that she is hiding that thing from you all, that there is an aspect of Lulu that she has not been incredibly forthcoming about as you have made some kind of deal with her. Okay.

Okay. Yeah, you're both now very aware of each other. Yeah, I'm just staring at Lulu now. The pen is suspended between us. We were both holding onto the pen, just staring at each other. I guess you need a pin for something else. This is my pen. It's your pen.

And now I'm going to let go of it, and you will have the pen. In my hand. In your hand, yes. From me. Thank you. And here it goes. Oh, all right. I take a big step backwards.

Great pin handoff. I think the term is pinmanship. Thank you. If you all are. Just can't help it, can he? Just can't help it. You need a parrot, dad. You need a parrot.

This is my parrot, Clint McElroy. I think it's called penmanship. My mouthy parrot, Clint McElroy, I call it. He sits on my shoulder and does singers. Now, that was Clint sitting at the next table. The spectral, the plane walking janitor, Clint McElroy. Now, if you all are quite done with whatever your weirdness just was, let's get down to planning a train heist.

This week, the greatest discovery becomes greatest trek. That's because greatest trek is for way more than just discovery. We're the hit show on Maximum Fun that covers all the new Star Trek shows. Lower decks, Strange New Worlds, Picard, Prodard, Discovery, and any other Star Trek show Paramount throws at us. Come check it out for our funny and formative recaps of all the new stuff this Star Trek Industrial Complex churns out. It's in your podcatcher every Tuesday.

Subscribe to Greatest Trek. It's a new Star Trek podcast from The Makers of the Greatest Generation. Hey there, it's Annabelle Gourwich. And I'm Laura House. We host Tiny Victories, the 15-minute podcast that's about the little things. Getting into the tiny victory frame of mine is about, recognizing minor accomplishments and fleeting joys. Isn't it a wonderful day when the first password you try actually works?

When it's freezing cold outside and toasty as I'll get out in my shower, my tiny victory is that I turn off the water and get on with my day. We can't change this big, dumb world, but we can celebrate the tiny wins. So join us on maximum fun or wherever you listen to podcasts. Let's get tiny. So here are the details. Jackson Blue is the owner of Crescent City Bank. I'm sure at least some of you recognize the name.

I'm familiar. Yes. He has used his wealth to purchase the textile factory and the surrounding town 50 miles outside of Crescent City. He then bought up the houses of the textile workers one by one. Now he owns most of the town and is squeezing them for every penny he can. The bank handles the factory's payroll and takes a cut on the way out. Then the town, aka Jackson Blue, takes its cut in taxes. And as if that weren't bad enough, Jackson has jacked up the workers' mortgages,

and they are barely holding on. And the city is dying. So we have this plan. There's a train that runs the payroll from Crescent City to Stitchton. We're going to rob that. train. So the bank insures the payroll. And so that's the first way that we're going to make Jackson pay. And then we're going to deliver the stolen payroll to the workers with that payroll and the money that they receive after the bank covers the losses, they are going to be able to

survive. And conceptually, I love that. A train heist famously don't work out well for the heisters. it's sort of in the history of literature. And so that gives me pause. Well, it's a good thing that we have someone who can possibly see the outcomes then, isn't it? To continue, if I may. So far, the bank will have to pay the payroll twice. That's one. Two, not only, as Lulu said, will the workers survive?

They will have enough money to buy the factory. to help cover the new costs of Jackson covering the payroll. But that's not the best part. The best part is that this particular payment includes a large off-the-book sum intended to pay bribes of every official in Stitchton and every goon Jackson has hired to keep the workers in line, and the bank won't cover that. So Jackson will have to pay that out of his own pocket.

So in the end, Jackson will be left either or, hurting because of the money he paid his goons, without his goons, and without the town. Is that clear so far? I suppose, would it not be easier to just, and maybe I should whisper this next part, off Mr. Jackson Blue? Well, first of all, good luck. He's in his bank and hardly ever leaves it unless he's on the train overseeing the shipment. and so it's hard to get to him.

That's right. And second of all, once he does, the workers still don't own their own means of production. That's an excellent point. Plus, it just won't cover as much. This isn't just about helping the workers. It's about hurting Jackson and hurting all of his investors, hurting the people who use their money to control the poor.

Now, what you're probably wondering is, what do we need from you? Why would we need your help? Well, the thing is, we weren't prepared to execute this plan yet. There are still some things that we need to figure out, but it seems like you are trying to expedite my departure and return to Dry River. And so the next payroll leaves in, and she checks a small watch, about 38 hours. So we will need to move quickly if we want to handle this before next month's payroll. And here's what we need from you.

You see, the train loads up the payroll directly from the bank. And when it does, the rest of the train is kept empty as a security measure. The entry on either side of the payroll card are sealed. Then the train loads up the rest of the cargo and passengers at Station Prime. getting on the train isn't a problem, not really. Along with payroll is a food shipment, specifically livestock. And that livestock comes from a Lorelei's farm. And for the first time since she first spoke, you remember that Lorelei is there.

Lorelei has been making herself as unobtrusive as possible. And now she kind of, yes, that's a triple horn ranch. they will be loading up both cattle as well as poultry. There will be some pigs in there as well, whatever stitched means. So that is, thank you, Loreline, a potential access point for the team. The thing is, the cars are searched before they're connected. But after that, they're left alone until arrival. So all we have to do is figure out a way to avoid detection during the search or

make our way in during the brief window of time after the search, but before departure. So I, as MC, will tell you, that's job number one, recon your access. Perhaps our incorporeal businessman friend can help us with that disappearing act? I would be happy to. Now, on the train, there will be a bank security detail. They're not bright, but each and every one of them is dedicated to Jackson as long as the money flows. There are three sets of guards on the train. There's Jackson's personal guard, which keep to the front.

Then there is a guarded car on either side of the payroll. If all goes, well, we should only have to deal with one set of guards. There's no reason to have to cross between. It should be fine. Now, each set of guards has a distinct armband color. and the leader of that set wears a matching sash. So that's job number two. Find security detail weak points.

Now, Stitchton, being a small factory town, doesn't have much of a stop. The platform is only large enough to unload one car at a time. They'll start at the front. First, they'll do Jackson Blue's personal cars. Then they'll move to the passengers, the cargo, the livestock, and finally once the platform is cleared, they will set to unloading the payroll. So job number three, how do you get out?

So to recap, job one is to recon access to what from the livestock cart to the rest of the train? Well, first of all, just finding a way onto the train, making sure that you will be on the train when it departs the station. Okay. Job number two, you will need to pass through. at least one set of guards to make it to the payroll car. So reconning

those security details and figure out a way that you can get past them. You're saying reconning. Are we actually going to go on this train and then come back and plan or do we need a plan like before we go on?

You will be able to move throughout the city and question people and like observe things, but you will not be able to get on the train beforehand. Got it. Okay, perfect. And then job number three is to have a plan for how you are going to get clear of the train before they figure out that the payroll

is gone. So the train leaves for Stichden in two days early morning. So we need to be ready by then, or we have to wait till next month. And I will not be leaving this city until this job is done. Do we know where Jackson will be before he boards this train? Well, he will be at Crescent. city bank in his office slash apartment, I assume, and then on the train he will be in his personal cars at the front of the train. Okay. I may find it prudent to pay him a visit before all of this goes down. It is helpful when one is robbing someone to look into their future to tell if they get robbed. I see. Well, so there are a couple of of hiccups here. One, I can't go out reconning with you. I have made some trouble for Mr.

of Lou in the past, and I am a bit of a persona non grata with him, which is why we're meeting here instead of at Lulu's establishment. And same with Lorelei. Lorelei can't be seen with you as Lorelei needs to have access to the train as the loader and unloader of the livestock. But Lulu can accompany you throughout the city to help you do these different jobs and to figure things out and be a contact point for you.

That's right. I know most of the town and I'm trusted by all of them. Time to put it into some good use. And if I'm just showing some strangers around our fair city, then no one's going to bat an eye. Now, do you have any questions for me before, oh, well, I guess I should ask. Now that you know the details of the plan,

are you, no pun intended, on board? You intended that pun a little bit. Well, I couldn't avoid it. How about that unavoidable pun? It seems like our only way forward, so yes. Yep. Yeah, I mean, we're going to do it. I'm just scared it's going to go badly.

Normally I would be able to just kind of tell you if it's going to go badly or not. Mr. Indrid? Yes. When you find out that things are going to go bad, you still take that plan of action anyway sometimes, yes? Oh, no. What? Did you hear what you just said? Really?

You live your life entirely in fear? It fears not that. Anytime you step out into the street, you might get run over by a carriage or, you know, the lightning might strike you, but you got to still live your life. Well, I've made a habit out of not jumping in front of carriages or being out in rainstorms. Just sort of, if you see a burner is on a stovetop, do you go and put your hand right on it? It's just if you know something is going to fail or hurt you or kill you, you typically go, away from that thing. That's sort of how I think about it. But I suppose your version also works. Well, we may be a cautious and risk of a sort, and I find that to be good for living and surviving.

But I find my way to be better for really living, not just surviving. Okay. That's fair. somehow I think that you are a little bit more capable than I am for reasons that I do not understand and may not be polite to talk about in mixed company. Why do you want to do this so bad? Is it just a sort of Robin Hood sort of fantasy that you're wanting to fulfill? Well, Pearl has her very altruistic reasons, and she is a kind sort. Perhaps mine is more mercenary.

Folks don't have the money to live. They don't have the money for an establishment such as mine. But yes, my folks put a lot into this community. They came here with nothing and helped build up a thriving center of commerce. And now Jackson's taking that all the way. He's earning his money and building himself up, but he don't give back to the community, not a bit. and I think that's wrong. Wrong.

And maybe even a little bit of absolution or redemption. Lulu is in the cards? I'm sure I don't know what you're driving at. Okay, okay, okay. Well, where to first? I would say head out into the town and Lulu can show you around the best of luck. If I have any information or anything to share with you,

I'll send Lorelai along and she'll meet you at Maison. Good luck. Now, just a moment. Pearl, what assurances do we have that you aren't going to turn tail and run? I've made a deal with you. Well, we signed a deal, of course, that said that we would not reveal the details of your plan, but as far as you not flee in Crescent City, all we have is your word. Yes.

I would be a very poor, well, bounty hunters. in this case, if you will, if I just took you a word that my quarry was going to stay within the city limits. Pearl is a woman of her word. But if you, as a businessman, would like something a little more concrete, we can come to a dark bargain. Perhaps. Sounds fucking sinister. Perhaps the name is a bit off-put and I do admit. Should have gone with something better.

We'll work on that rebranding if you have a rebranding expert at your company. You don't, Lulu, you don't have to dip into that, okay? I can handle this myself. I know you are completely capable, but we need to get this done and we need to get this done right. And I don't take kindly to you having to go back to your family. You're living your own life here. but if you're going to do it, then we've got to get these gentlemen on board right quick.

You know I don't like it when you do this sort of thing, Lulu. And I will never understand why you continue to try and save me from it. All right. Let's do a dark bargain or let's do a friendly bargain. Ah, good. Yes, it sounds very intriguing. A semi-opake bargain. Okay, great.

How about betwixt? Well, it's definitely between Lulu and it sounds like Parsons. That's right. I guess, yeah. Yeah, I mean, okay. I see a bargain with smoke and blood and I roll with heart. We have plenty of that around. Mm-hmm.

That's true. Oh, that'll be good. Yeah. Ooh, 12. That's a 12. So on a 10 plus pick two. We can do. So there are three choices.

and as a businessman, we can negotiate with these terms. Three options are all parties intuitively know if the deal is being honored. All parties take plus one ongoing to letting it out while fulfilling the deal, which could be useful for all of us, for both of us. And anyone violating the pact instantly suffers for harm. Jesus Christ. You can choose two of those options. I think we do the first two.

I need to know at any moment if Ms. Blackwells left town. And I think a little extra acumen would not be misplaced for this venture we've set out on. Excellent. So as the two of you, Augustus, you see Lulu hold out her hand. And you are still invisible, though you are able to make contact and speak. You grab her hand. And as you do, the blood-filled smoke swirling in the air, around you both, and what you see is Augustus. There is your form outlined in this smoke and blood.

And then the form of Lulu that surrounds her is not the form you see in front of you. What do we see in this blood and smoke that surrounds you, Lulu? In that moment of blood and smoke, you can see a red stain appearing on my chest. spreadin out as if shot with a bullet until my entire skin is red, slick, harder. A horn curves up on the right side of my head, a single long horn curling up towards the heavens. You see wings sprout from my back and my nails grow long like a cat's and my eyes are flaming. and as you look into them, you see a dark world,

the dark things that can come to pass for you and your family. Should you break this accord? And it's just for a second. It's just for a second as it all fails. And in that moment, Augustus, you're the only one that sees this as Lulu sees you outlined in blood smoke

and you see her this demonic form outlawed, lined in blood smoke. But to you, Indrid, to you, Callan, you just see Lulu shaking hands with the air, and then as quick as it coalesces, it's gone.

It's a pleasure doing business with you, sir. Sorry, I didn't, I didn't know. I'm sorry, I didn't know, I didn't know, sorry. I didn't know, I didn't know, sorry. I didn't know, I'm sorry, we need to go. We should go, I'm sorry. What the hell? I'm sorry for my casual nature. I, apologies.

to you. Sir, it's quite all right. I am possessed of certain ways of doing business that I hope that I never have to enforce. And I guess as you stumble

backwards, you know, nodding and making your apologies and you step outside to catch your breath. And as you do, a man that was standing by the doorway having a cigarette sees you, grinds it out, and says, ah, Mr. Parsons, what an absolute pleasure. Yeah.

I'm invisible, though. And he lowers his silver-rimmed spectacles to you, and they flash gold across the glass. And he says, ah, Mr. Parsons, an absolute pleasure to see you. I heard you were in town. Well, I should say, my boss. heard you were in town and would love to speak to you. Please come with me for a meeting with Mr. Blue. What's your name? My name. My name is Flint Chittles.

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