The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Dust Season 2 - Episode 3

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

On the night before the train leaves to Stitchton, the Graysons prepare themselves. Augustus starts a new business venture. Indrid has a premonition. Callan tries to stay on someone’s good side. Lulu makes a confession. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

Previously on the Adventure Zone Dust. Are you telling me that Flint Chittles sits on the board of Cash Universe? This is my brother, Matthias. I murdered him in cold blood. Well, howdy there? Names your house. We're looking to be on the train two days from now. How are we actually going to get in there?

The engine ain't warranted. Right? of the easiest ways to just try to walk in and make sure no one sees you. I need work. Be here, uh, what, uh, tomorrow morning? I got work for you. Maison could use, uh, some muscle, but with a brain behind it. You give me that, John, and I don't get in trouble?

I'll help you. So I'd like to talk to my, my buddy, Micah. I'm just saying I have to jump off a moving train is what it's looking like. And if I could unfurl two. big, beautiful, silky wings. Are we in agreement that you owe me one? I think I owe you too. So I can add a crate one big enough for one of you.

I think that would have to be you, Indrid. Somebody familiar with acupuncture. Is it possible that you still have someone that surfs in that capacity? Absolutely. Join us again for episode three. Spadae! Callan, you're stretched out on a comfortable spa bed at the Maison-Nihon. Your acupuncturist has already kind of started going through and, you know, making you comfortable and make sure that you felt safe, that you felt secure, all of these things.

And she says, yes, is there anything specific you'd like me to focus on? I have a lot of pain. And this is the only way I can actually function. If I go too long without this, I'm no good to anybody. So I just really need you to give me some relief. I understand it. Absolutely, Mr. Callen, it will be my pleasure. Any areas in particular?

Well, can you see the scars? Yes, quite a few. Yeah, that would be about it. That's the main thrust. The only place I have pain is from the base of my neck to the bottom of my feet. Got it. I never get headaches. Okay.

Well, you relax. breathe deep. You know, you're going to feel a couple of punctures, as is the nature of the beast. And pretty soon, I think you are going to fade away to sleep. And if you need anything, my name is Isabella. You can just say the word. And she is not wrong. She comes around the front of the bed, brushes her red hair behind her ear. You feel a, a couple of her. You feel a couple of punctures and that's all it takes and you are out like a light. As you all entered, Lorelei was waiting there for you, Lulu, and you two are talking now. And she says, yes. And Pearl, Pearl just wanted me to let you know that since we had the extra people here, she is riding

under cover of darkness tonight for Stitchton to try to get there for, you know, support when we arrived. to let the workers know that we've moved forward the plan, so she should be there. So I wanted to make sure you knew about that. What all do you have planned? What's going to happen tomorrow morning? Well, it seems that we have a man on the inside now in Callan, and that also, Adora Line will be, you know, keeping eyes and ears out for us. I believe that our

A fine flying friend Oh no he's no longer flying I guess We'll be handling the wards I think the only thing left is A means of escape But Lori What are you getting from this

Oh I'm you know I'm just happy to help And you know I of course love you and Pearl and you know, you ask for my help and I'm happy to and it's just the right thing to do. Always know the right thing to do, don't you?

Well, I learned it from you too. You know, you're good friends and good people and you've always been an inspiration to me. Oh, Lauren. Now, we don't need to get all teary and everything. I mean, it's not like we're going off to war or something.

Well, that's just the thing is things could get rough and just in case something should happen to me um i gotta come clean about something and i know this is not the best time but you know how a couple seasons back the family farm hit some hard times uh yeah that was um that was my doing what what do you mean I mean, I put a curse on your farm because you were supplying livestock to a rival of my patron, you know, the one that got me the maize on. And he said, if I didn't do it, that he, this would all go away. I just couldn't do that to my parents. and so that made you sacrifice yours and I'm so sorry.

Oh, um, yeah. Well, you know, no, no heart to feel. It's okay. No, it's not okay, Lori. Well, um, I really appreciate you saying something, but it doesn't change anything between us, you know, business is business. And I understand how much you love the, the Maison.

and your parents and such. Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry. I've got, there's so much going on. I just, I'm having a hard time processing. I think everything and I understand.

The exact wrong time to tell you. I'm so sorry. But when we're done with this job, I really like to make it up to you and mama and pop a horn. Please. You know, I'll do whatever it takes, you know,

and not, it's just business. was. I mean, really make amends. And... Well, I'd like that. Thank you. All right. Thanks, Lori. Ooh, all right. Well, I'm going to go check in around the bar. Um, and I sort of sweep away. I'll see you tomorrow on the...

Yeah. The passenger section until we get to Stitchton if you need me, okay? Yeah, yeah. Thank you. And when you head to the bar, Selena behind the bar says, oh, is there, is there an Augustus with you? Oh, yes.

Mr. Parsons is, I believe, in the vicinity. Who's asking? Yeah, somebody, a messenger came by early today said they heard he was staying here and left a note for him. Oh.

Well, um, sure, I'll take that. Who was this career? I don't know. Just, somebody, you know, from the express. All right. And I'll take, I hold my hand up for a letter. Yeah.

Hands it to you. It's addressed to Mr. Augustus Parsons. Hmm. All right. And I go to move to find our incorporeal friend. You find him. He's watching the show. It's an early version of how to succeed in business without really trying.

So he's, he's making notes. I was saying like, no, that wouldn't work. No, it's whatever you want. It's just to find. You have to try at least a little bit harder than that. What about long-term plans? Yeah, you find him watching the show. Mr. Parsons, it seems omissive has come for you.

I hate this part. God, it's chilling, isn't it? Or a show I've ever seen in my life. Well, sorry, I'll take any excuse to get out. Well. You want to join me outside? Yes. Begging your body.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, yeah, no, fine. Oh, watch my drink. Oh, sorry. I can't knock your drink over. I'm in a boy. Oh, okay.

Oh, don't she does it, though. It's fine. It's fine. Oh, my foot. Oh, sorry. Now I have to go to bathroom. Down in front. Down in front.

What a rich fucking tapestry. Oh, shit. My tablecloths on fire. I'm going to shoot into the ceiling like they do in all the movies. Ooh, bang, bang. What was it that you needed? Well. I might be of service.

It seemed clearly we needed an intermission in that show. But other than that, here is, there's a letter came for you. You opened the letter so that he can read it because he is currently visible. and audible. And it is from curve. I will read it. Dear Mr. Parsons, dear Mr. Parsons,

I heard that you were in town. So much is happening over the Augustus and then it's marked out and says, Cash Universe in quotation marks. I need direction. What do you want me to do? Please, if you have a moment free, I'll be at the church tonight. I'll see you there. I'll wait for you.

Signed, Kerf Ridge Rock. And then there's a PS scrawled across the bottom. A friend here heard you were traveling with Callan. If he's free, he'd love to see him.

Okay. Well, Lulu, I have to visit a compatriot of mine about a business matter, you understand. Well, I certainly do. You are, of course, welcome to join,

or you can enjoy the rest of this year program. It is, I will warn you, atrocious. Well, I'll make sure to give it to the director for the postmortem then. Right. I'm a little flustered trying to make sense. They thrive on feedback. One thing I always love when I was treading the boards in my college days is when audience members would find me after the show.

Two, tell me about parts of it they thought could be improved. Well, I will be certain to give you a dead businessman this man's opinion to all of the professional actors. And I thank you

very much for that. I'm sure they will appreciate it. Callan, you come somewhat stumbling from the spa area. You had a deep sleep. It was only, you know, about 20, 30 minutes, but you are

lightheaded, you feel no pain, you feel great, maybe one of the best acupuncture sessions you've ever had. And I come stumbling up to Augustus? You come outside to catch you know, some fresh air, maybe clear your head

a little bit, you're having a hard time, you know, when you, if you ever had that feeling when you wake up in a new place and you're like, wait, what, where's my, huh, what's going? It's that kind of feeling. you're still clearing your head. Okay. Hey, ghost.

Well, hello, my friend. Don't you look relaxed? What have you been up to? Um, just getting a little therapy. Ah, yes. Is working your magic? Isabella is extremely talented. Gross.

So I'll be heading on over to the church to meet with Mr. Ridgerock. an associate of mine to discuss a business matter. You may, if you wish, join me. They asked for your presence specifically. Who? Mr. Ridgrog. He was my close compatriot when I was at the helm of the Augustus Parsons

Cashew Company. I don't know anybody named Ridgrock. He asked for me. Travis, is there some kind of? connection that he would know about or that I would know about. It was that there was someone there who said, hey, if you talk to him, if you talk to a guy's there. I know nothing further. Apologies. They just, there's someone there asking for you. I know you're an obstinate man, but if it could help the cashew company at all, I would appreciate the help.

Oh, okay. Give me a like name to a face. Roll, Clinton. Four and a one. What do I add to it? You add, in this case, wild. That's a minus one. Oh, boy. Yeah, you don't know who would be asking for you.

But in his line of work, anybody that's asking about you, you're going to be curious about. So, yeah, I'll go with you. Yeah. I would say like normally you would be able to figure it out. This wouldn't be a hard one, but you're still got some wicked brain fuzzies. Yeah, let's go. Well, you gentlemen, ring me on the pocket telegraph if you need anything. I'm going to be checking up on this establishment and perhaps confer with your compatriot about the plans for tomorrow.

I'm just sitting there just like gulping down cashews like yeah and I'm here too well Andrew you went to bed early because you have to get to the warehouse by five o'clock oh that's so you're in bed a dreamin and we'll get to you in just a moment wait I want to end the scene yes okay Lulu yes promise me something and I mean this with all sincerity I'll do my best. When they begin happy to keep his dinner warm, you must promise me that you will look away. I'm not sure we can recover from that particular number,

from choreography to singing to staging to lighting to sound. It is a failure on every level that you may not be able to recover from. Promise me, you'll look away, perhaps a visit to the facilities. Well, sir, I give you my womanly word. I tell you the same about coffee break, but I assume everyone will be dead by then. And Juice, when your friend Matthew Broderick finds out about this, he's going to be so pissed.

I hate that fucking show so much. I didn't figure it at random. I was like, what's a show that I also think Augustus would hate? And so any show titled, How to Succeed a Business Without Really Trying, I was like, I think Agassos would hate that show. You nailed it because I fucking hate that show. Anyway, it's sucks ass. It's neither here nor there.

My feelings about it. Perhaps the revival will do better. You can hope. We can all hope, can't we? Maybe they'll rewrite all the songs and lyrics and music and go out with something better. The two of you approach the church. You have been here many, many, many times, Augustus. You have made quite a few deals with the church.

And this is also, you know, where your daughter, Anna, is being cared for by Leader Green, first name Janet. You make your way in. And as you enter, this is like the prime temple of the church in the Crescent territories. And so it's done, it's not overly designed, right? it's a pretty clean lines, not a lot of fancy accents, but it's just at scale and scope, that alone is enough to make it seem ostentatious in the West. As everything's still being developed in most buildings, you know, struggle to top two to three floors.

Just the size and the ability to welcome a large congregation makes this building impressive all on its own. As you enter, you see, sitting in one of the front benches kind of looking around anxiously and he sees you and you see him like relax visibly and he like waves to you over now callan you enter uh your head is cleared at this point the walk gave you a chance to do it and you're pretty sure by this point you know who you're looking for and sure enough they're leaning against one of the back walls uh is a uh built, beautiful man with long, curly blonde hair.

He's got a beard that you would say probably is about a month of growth. He wears it well. His eyes are so crystal blue as to almost be white. And he is staring directly at you. And you recognize Uriel. Hey, boss. I heard you were in town. Side mission.

You didn't come see me. Well, I don't really enjoy your company all that much, so I don't think that's that big a surprise. Well, I just want to let you know. I've been in touch with my wayward brother, and it seems it has been some time since you have followed through on any deliverables. And I got some names here whose time is running out. and we're going to need to make those swaps pretty soon, or that's going to be on your head. Do you understand?

And I want to make it clear, because we've had this conversation before, this isn't a threat, this isn't me like trying to bullet. I'm just stating facts. That's what I do. There is facts. There is things that I cannot change that have already been put in motion. You understand this, yes? Yeah.

How many? How many are getting close? Three in the next 18 months. Okay? Yeah, I understand. I can deliver on that. I may even have a chance on this little side mission. Okay. Once again, this is not meant to be a pressure thing, but simply a statement of fact. You're the one who sought this job once you knew what was at stake, yes? You made your point.

I don't think you need to keep. Keep repeating it. Excellent. Well, um, best of luck. And he turns, uh, and exits. Now you, I guess this, you sit down next to Kerf. Oh, uh, sir, uh, Mr. Parsons, um, I am glad you are here. Um, well, Kerf, it, it is nice to see you. How, how are you? I assume better than I. I am at a loss, Mr. Parsons. I don't know how much you know about the cash universe thing. That unfortunately no longer concerns me, for I have joined the incredible unemployed. I, Augustus Parsons, and without a career, I am, if you're part in the expression, a bum.

This is how I shall live out or perhaps not live out the rest of my days. I shall purchase a couch. I shall read little orphan Annie and I shall exist. But my working days are behind me. Mr. Parsons, if this is a joke, I'm not quite sure. Please call me Gus. I love to lay around and listen to the phonograph. Mr. Parsons, I am not alone in what I'm about to tell you.

I've been waiting for some kind of missive from you of how to handle this. Mr. Altizer is, he's giving more and more of the company away to people, and it's starting to worry many of us about our futures with the technology. company and we're kind of hoping you would know what to do. Unfortunately, that is typical for the cutthroat world of business

in which I have been bested for the last time. I no longer am concerned with the struggles of the working man for I myself am relaxing. And you hear a smaller voice behind you say,

well father if you don't mind me saying so i think that that is absolute bullshit an accordion you will watch your language when i am present or rather not present in the room oh i'm sorry it's just that i have spoken with mr riddrock many times as well as leader green and you turn and you see a twelve-year-old girl um you can see some elements of her mother in there but she is the spittance of augustus parsons it's just that i was told that my father, Augustus Parsons, was a Titan of industry, and now I could see that those were all exaggerations, of course. No, Augustus Parsons is a Titan of industry, or perhaps was. I am Gus P., local layabout. Oh, I see. So when you died, all of your drive and your ethics, which I heard made you tower among the common man, all those must have died with you. Is that it? No, Anacardium. They died when my company was rested from my cold dead hands to become the cash-universe. There is no Augustus Parsons cashew company, and soon there will be no Augustus Parsons. It's worth noting that, interestingly, the Augustus Parsons cashew company is one of my four anchors.

Correct. So I'm less connected at this point to... the world than I would have been beforehand. So I'm trying to reflect that because he's not all there because one of his anchors is gone. Absolutely.

Now, I have been studying my business as I have hoped to make proud the Parsons name. And I believe, if I'm not mistaken, what that means is if they have switched the title of the company, wouldn't that mean

the Augustus Parsons cashier company name is free and available for use? No, that's not how business works. They own the rights to that name. Oh, they own your name? Believe it or not. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wally Amos.

Wally Amos. You ever heard of famous Amos cookies? Of course they're famous. They took the company from Mr. Amos, and he started his own cookie company. Oh, okay. So you're going to start your own cash shoe company? Well, is there room in the market?

That's the question. Well, yes, everybody loves pizza blasted cashews. You will not, those are not cashews. That is a tiny, crunchy poison. So I guess what the question is, is do you think that there's room in the market for, you know, the perfect cashew lovingly chosen for the consumer versus, you know, whatever pizza blasted poison,

Garad Altizer is putting out into the universe. Are you talking about real, organically grown, unflavored cashews? The kind that old... Is dad eating pistachios in the background of this cashew? How fucking could you? You judith.

How could you, dad? You're eating pistachios while I'm trying to talk about cashews. I got hungry listening to you described a delicious cashews. Yeah, dad, they're a great nut. They're one of the top seven, easy. Okay. So precious, you don't even put them in the mix.

No one puts pistachios that's got to stand out. Cachews, almonds, hazelnuts. Is this a power ranking or a loosely ordered top five? Loosely ordered. Because you said top seven? Top seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to say cashews, almonds.

You haven't even said peanut yet. P almonds bad. Peanuts are not bad. You can't say peanuts are bad in a power ranking. Peanuts are in everything. They're the cranberry and nuts. They're allergic to peanuts. You cannot.

But even then you have to respect their reach. Caches. Coconut. That's like a given in so much cuisine. Cachews. Donuts. Dachios. This is stupid.

Okay. No. Okay. No. Yes. Anacardium. You're, you're, you're, right, I can't give up now.

The market needs an interruption. Shade grown, ethically sourced, delicious cashews. And that will be the name of my new company, my new venture.

Delicious cash shoes. It's pretty good. It's right there in the name. It lets you know what kind of cashews they are. And that they're cashews. And that they're cashews. It covers all the available information about the product contained there in. Now all we need, you're going to need to find, of course, a location and a workforce, you know, people looking for jobs, anything like that. Well, Kerf?

I think I know. Just the man for the job. An adult, you see, Kerf, an adult would want to run everything their way. But I can trust you to run delicious cashews. I'm 32. I can trust you, Kirtf. You have a fascinating, our father. I can trust you, Kirk, to run delicious cashews in the way it's always been run, the Augustus Parson's way.

Fine, ethically sourced, mechanically grown, cashews. Yes. And. Uh-huh. You know what else we'll be adding to our product line? What? Nothing. Oh, okay.

Just cashews. No flavors. One size of bag. That will make, you know, choosing which kind of delicious cashews it want very easy. Well, you have to limit your number of skews when you're beginning in business, you see. If that product does well, we'll expand the line, but you don't want to rush out too many products at once. That's just business. Well, shall we meet tomorrow to discuss?

us, you know, the finer points of this plan? Sounds perfect, Kerf. You take care of yourself and start working on a logo. Now, Father, I expect at least 30%. Anacardium, you can have 32. And Kerf, no. Curf, 10% for you.

Oh, wait. And I will have a poultry. 58%. Okay, we can figure it out tomorrow. Well, this is the final point. Are elephants right-handed? What's the middleest size in the universe? What is the history of fan fiction?

Let's find out together on our show. Let's learn everything, where we learn anything and everything interesting. My name's Caroline, and I studied biodiversity and conservation. My name's Tom, and I studied computer science and cognitive... Did you? And my name's Ella, and I studied stem cells and regenerative medicine. On our show, we do as much research as you would for a class, but we don't get in trouble for making each other laugh.

And we get to say, fuck. Maybe not in the trailer. Subscribe to Let's Learn Everything every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. Are you ready to binge watch something old? The Greatest Generation is a podcast about Star Trek by a couple of hosts a little bit embarrassed to even have a Star Trek podcast. hosted by me, Ben Harrison. And me, Adam Pranica, we get into the critical, the technical, the science fictional aspects of the show we love, while roasting it and each other at the same time.

We've completed an entire series about Star Trek The Next Generation, and another one about Star Trek Deep Space Nine, and we've just begun Star Trek Voyager. So now is a great time to start watching a new Star Trek series with us. So subscribe to The Greatest Generation on Maximumfund.org, or wherever you get your podcasts and become a friend of DeSoto today. Now, we see Indrid, awake into a dream.

In front of you, Indrid, you see a park bench and a tall, slender woman sits on the bench, and she is watching a, like, kind of garden of trees. It's not quite an orchard. There's about five or six,

and they're not full-grown. You would guess they're about, like, 15, 16 feet high. And moving between it, you see in the wind these gigantic spider webs stretched between the trees and they flow in the wind. And you hear her say, oh, Indrid, my love, please, come join me. Sure. I go and sit down.

So easy going. I enjoy that. Do I recognize her? No. but there is definitely like I will say this that same kind of nerve tangle you get when you like touch somebody

or when you feel that feeling of like oh something's about to happen there's something going on you feel it okay and she says now I know I have been lack in our

face to face meeting as you might imagine I'm very busy but it did become very important for me to talk to you, my darling. You see Hugh Indrid. And don't get me wrong, this is one of the things I love about you, but you are far too trusting. Is that so? Yes. Let me just check. There is a voice that appears in your ear that you have never met, that you have never seen, and you tell them everything. Yes, normally I would not be quite as easygoing with strangers,

especially in this strange new world I find myself in. I am at a slight disadvantage in that I can no longer instantly tell if people are going to try and royally bone me from 50 yards away. What? Perhaps if I possessed this, my beautiful second. sight. This would not be an issue, but I'm, I'm just trying to figure this thing out as I go. Then what do you call my gift, if not some form of second sight? It's okay. It's all right.

Oh, playing hard to get, huh? Indrid, I will ask you to speak to me with respect, please. Okay. Now, Indrid, you need to be more careful. I would not have you harmed for the world. We are having so much fun and getting so much important work done. What kind of work are you talking about? Oh, the game. The visions, the future, we're building it together?

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that I was collaborating on the future. Oh, sorry. you. May have given you a little more credit than perhaps was applicable. So I will now, this isn't normally my way, but I do adore you, so I will just tell you. So you are my, I hate to use this word because it does seem reductive, but my tool, yes? That is news to me. Well, so you already had this proclivity towards a future, towards vision, towards knowing. And so I simply tapped into that and I show you either the things that will happen or I show you the things that you need to see to make the things I want to happen happen. Oh, that would have been nice to know.

Well, I figured it doesn't make a difference because you'll never know which one's which. All right. And they're practically the same thing. Don't get it confused because either it is the future or simply by you acting on it, it becomes the future. I stand up from the park bench. You weren't excused. and with that her fingers elongate to a completely inhuman length spindly but very strong as they press you back down to the bench. Sorry, I thought I was about to wake up.

Oh, when I'm ready. Usually there's a hot air balloon and I'm in it and I'm late for school. Yes, I like that one. And then there's a stiff wind and I fall. out of the basket and I tumble down, down, down, down. And right before I hit the ground, I awaken. And what's weird is while I'm falling, the whole time I'm just so stressed out about the school thing. So I thought that that is that I don't like this.

Well, I don't want you to think that this is all bad. Just because we have work to do doesn't mean we can't have a pleasant working relationship and maybe someday more. But that, you know, I'll give it time, no pressure. But listen, I know that me asking you not to trust your so-called friend, Micah, is going to grate on you. You're so caring for your friends. So let me show you that I am a friend and let me give you a gift. And she presses one of those spindly fingers to your forehead.

and there is a searing pain behind your eyes. But as this happens, burned into that moment, you see a shape, a symbol, a sigil, a specific sigil. And she says, remember that one. I think that will help. I can't do anything here then. Because like I, any sort of supernatural thing I can try to do, they are warded against because they have defenses against my sight.

Correct. Thanks for that. A note would have also been fine. I work in mysterious ways. Okay. You have been nothing but extremely ominous this entire conversation, and then you're like, Tee-he-he, use this sigil. You're going to love it.

Well, you'll just need to recognize it. Okay. Okay. You want to tell me what it is, or is this? That's not really what I do. All right. Uh, may I be dismissed, please? Ooh, very polite.

I like that. Yes, you may. And if you need my help, ask me instead of this mica. And what should I call you? Um, I tell you, uh, you can call me Weaver. Sure. Okay, Weaver, I'll be in touch. Thanks for the help.

Sweet dreams. Can I do something? Yes. I would like to awaken with a start and go to Dallas Grayson's house where Dallas Grayson lives. Okay. And just start pounding on the door. Yeah, it's about 3 a.m. at this point? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't care. You hear his dog barking inside and he comes down. Oh, uh, Andrid? You need to fix my shit like now. Okay. Um, and this had to happen at 3 a.m. This important update on the situation? You're going to go back to bed.

I have work to do. And if I'm going to do that work, I need you to take the bindings off. Like right now. I tell you, I've told you. Real bad for a lot of people. It's intricate. It's intricate. It's indrid.

No, the bindings are intricate, right? I can't just undo. Okay, I got something. It's not done. It ain't tested. It's like a disruptor, right? I'm trying to make it permanent. That's why I haven't told you about it yet.

But it currently has like a single charge. I'll take whatever you got. Like I said, ain't tested? Yeah. Ain't tested theoretical, theoretical, theoretical. Do you want to test it? Right now? I mean.

Or is it one of those like in the heat of the moment situation? You can feel tested, yeah. Okay. I'd rather do that because I don't want something to knock me out for the next six hours and then I miss my mind. Well, yeah, and I want to go back to bed. So how about I give this to you and you promise not to pound on my door? It's a bracelet. It's a bracelet.

Okay. I'll take it. Like I said, single charge, maybe three to five minutes. All right? Okay. And then maybe figure out something a little bit more. I'm working on it. Clearly I'm working on it.

Okay. I'll take it. Good night. And he slams the door in your face. Travis, did you just make up a bracelet for pretend that didn't exist before? But then when Griffin said he wanted to go there, you just made it up? That's the job of a gym. That was amazing.

So wait, you could just do that? Yeah, man. I wove it together out of my mind stuff. This sounds amazing. Yeah, they straight a badass. You can just say whatever garbage you want. And everybody's like, oh, thanks for the garbage. Oh, wait, look over there.

Seth Myers just showed up and he says, I think Travis would be a better late night host than me. Give it to him, everybody. Whoa. Seth Myers, what? The skill sets over there. And you made a one-charged tiara that'll give you that job. Yeah. All right, I guess I start trudging over toward the cargo yard since I'm probably not going back to sleep now.

So by the time the rest of your party wakes up, you're sealed inside this box. It's not comfortable. It's not uncomfortable. You know, they left a couple gaps in the boards and everything, you know, on the side of a box. It's put bobbins, right? Just a little extra bobbins box swapped in there. Can I say that I brought a pillow to sit on? This is important for me, Griffin Macon.

Yeah, you know what? For your own player comfort, yes. Yeah. You're sitting on a pillow. I think I have a family-sized bag of pizza blasts. It's cashews. Well, you got to be careful, man. Those things stink to high having.

You don't want them to think they've got a bad box of bobbins. Well, and the bag is really loud, too, but I'll figure out. I'll put it, I'll muffle it with the pillow and a crow bar because nice try. Hey, can I just say, imagining a grown adult person. hiding the fact that they're eating a piece to blast it anything by muffling it under a pillow is one of the saddest images I've ever heard. Okay. The snack silencer. The other three of you, you wake.

Now, you know, Lorelei would have gotten there early. She would have traveled with the livestock to load them up when it's time in the livestock cars. Callan, you need to check in with the guard. And as for you, Augustus and Lulu, what is your plan? I have a plan to get on. It'll be easy for me to get on. Right. Right?

I mean, it materialized through the engine car, perhaps. That's what I was thinking. Seems pretty simple for you. And I have my. Well, you know, I make a little double horns with my fingers on top of me. Do I know that? Yeah, you know it from the handshake, from the bargain. Yes, yes, yes.

I assume this will be well within your skill set. I assume it will get, now, I've not personally met this other side of yours. Are we in for a mess? Could be. I can't always control it. I think that's the trade-off, right? Is that I get all this incredible power and I get to be my worst self. How do you do it with business balance in your morals and your ethics and good business?

Well, I have found that when one, lives their life by a certain set of standards with character. It doesn't matter what you are applying that character, those skills, too, because every part of your life will be imbued with nobility, with rigor,

and with, if you are so bold, compassion. I have not known you for long, Lulu, but I have seen this other side of yours. and I can tell you that I am not worried for my own safety around you in the slightest. Well, I am a ghost. Ah.

Yes, well. Shall we? Yes. Let's. All right. I guess we'll start heading towards the train yard. I'm going to stand in the fucking tracks.

Now, am I right in thinking, and you can choose to be one of them? Let me say. Regular people can't censor interact you unless you manifest. Supernatural creatures and perceptual morals usually know you're present, but can't affect you without magical tools or special powers. Yes, you may mark a trauma. We can't, because we're not using trauma, we can call it corruption, to instead choose one. or all three. Okay.

Got it. Okay, yeah. I'm going to, then in that case, I will mark that corruption so I can manifest inside the train car and be both silent and invisible. Yes. So you cross to the track and then we see Augustus go invisible, but also the wind sweep. the leaves and dirt through him. And no one else can see this, but I can see this because I am omniscient.

I see you striding down the track at, let's say, a gentleman's pace, and you encounter the engine car, what do you do? Is the train in motion, or is it stopped? Not yet. Yeah, I'm just going to, um, how big is the engine car? I got room in there to like, chill? Yeah. I mean, you're incorporeal.

People can walk through you and do their job. Yeah, I guess that's true. Uh, yeah, I'll just, um, I'm just gonna float inside the engine car and just like, chill. And just chill, cause what'll happen in there? I don't know, but I went... Yeah, so you enter the engine car and you take a spectral seat, just kind of like in the middle of the room on nothing.

I do that fucking sick-ass Alex, Alex Guinness, uh, sitting on midair from Scrooge. Scrooge. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And if anybody asks, tell them you're the ghost of Casey Jones. If anybody asks, I'm fucked because they see it. An excellent point. Well, actually, to be fair, I'm a ghost.

You're fucked. Yeah, that's no. I don't care. I'll flip my ass right off of there, go make some gait shoes. The engineer and, I don't know, probably deputy engineer, are moving around the engine, getting everything ready, stoking the fire, all of these things as they pass through you without any notice. Every so often you see one of them like, and like maybe tighten his shirt a little bit,

like, oh, is there a breeze? But they have no suspicion that you're there. Now, we see Callan approach Wyatt Lincoln. Wait, wait, may I throw something in real quick? Yeah. Does it have to do with the game, or is this just like an observation? Yes. Okay.

With the game. Could Callan make a quick stop before he goes to see this guy? Got to go to the bathroom? Oh, okay, yeah. I respect it. You know that I love when player characters go to the bathroom, right? That sounds weird, doesn't it? This is not going to the bathroom.

This is, this is, okay, a little background. I base Callan on all of these, you know, anti-heroes from spaghetti western. Sure. And they always have some kind of sneaky device. to help them in the grand scheme of them. So this is what that is leading to. And I think you'll know where I'm going with it, Traub. Yeah.

Pretty fast. An atom bomb. Before he goes to meet with Wyatt, he stops at the milliner shop. Chapo chateau. Habedashery. It's actually a milliner and approaches the counter and the person working at the milliner.

Yes? He says, yeah, I'm I need a gift for a lady friend. Yes, of course. What kind of give a lady friend a hat, I assume?

Uh, ribbons. Ribbons for her hair. Ribbons for her hair. Now this is a hat shop. We have ribbons, but they are mostly used as a hat. It is a hat.

Can you not just sell me? Oh, I can say you anything, young man? Yeah, and I don't know what her favorite is. So if you just give me an assortment. So how well do you know this one if you don't know what her favorite ribbon is? That's a first date question if I ever heard one. She's Mercurial. She's white?

She's your curial? Curio. That's a lovely name. Well, you tell Mercurial to a podcast to get to. enjoy these ribbons. That would be three monies, please. No, I'm just joshing you. That'll be three marks.

So he puts three marks down on the, on the counter, stuffs the ribbons in his pocket. Okay. Now, if you ever need anything else, sir, you come and you visit Botas Gato. That's my name. Right. Oh, I'm glad I could set that.

I'm glad you could too. I was afraid we wouldn't get to me. Sorry, what's that name again? I was eating there. Bote's Gato. Sorry, it's more time. You're welcome, Trabb.

If you just type into Google translate Boots cat in Spanish, Botez Gato. Bote is Gato. I swear to God. The Chateau. Yes.

That did not cross my mind. Yes, Bote's Gato. Oh, does Gato Chappos Chateau? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't think I'll be back. That's funny.

It's what every customer says. That's what they all say. Some of it's true. Okay, bye. Tell your friends. I'll let you get back to your lasagna. Oh, no, I hate the stuff. That was squawky, by the way.

Oh, I see. I'll let you get back to your. your lasagna, what? Now, let's get back to, you approach White and he says, I was wondering if you're going to show up, you're late. Where you been? Um, picking up a little gift for a lady friend. Okay, man, you have work to do. If you're, you're lucky, I don't fire you right now, but should I fire you right now? Well, I guess you could try. Well, I'm sorry, was that a threat? Leave a little, let me leave a little gap in your security plan.

I'm going to have you Just let's it You're making Roll to persuade an MPC All right And that's against what With heart Ooh

Not Callum Strong That's my other minus one Oh but it's okay It's a 10 10 minus one Minus one and nine Okay great Okay yeah you ain't fire

But you know what I got the perfect job for you How you feel about cows Callin Cows. Yeah, I'm going to have you a very special guard duty for you. I'm going to put you... You're going to keep an eye on the livestock for me, okay?

Make sure everything stays safe back there. Yeah. Okay, if you need me, I'm going to be in the guard car just behind payroll. Try to keep out of trouble. Make sure nobody comes at us from the back, okay? I will... I will make sure nobody bothers you. Okay, Lulie, what about you?

All right. I would like to mark a corruption for fringe benefits to do an additional city move while this time has been passing. And I will be trying to put out the word. So through my copious connections and networks, getting word out to the town to those who would be receptive to it to just have eyes and ears. And to be there should things, as they say, pop off amongst the workers. So I suppose I got to roll with your status. In which circle? Mortality.

So it depends on who you're trying to pull. You know what I mean? All right, there's just your regular everyday human folk. Are you trying to pull connections with furs or fangs or who you're trying to contact. Anyone who will listen. Anyone who's sympathetic to the cause of free in the town. I'm going to say, let me take a look at your sheet real quick.

Yeah, I've got one in wild, one in wild, and none others. But if I'm with my corruption marked, I get plus one to the roll with circle status. Yeah, so with your fringe benefits. Got it, got it, got it. So let's say that since you are pulling against your connections, right? And most of your connections are made through your influence with your connection to your patron. Let's call it a plus one from the wild. And then that plus one from French benefits, so you could roll with a plus two.

11. Okay, great. Sure. So are you wanting them there now? You want everybody nearby now? I want. I want, you know, should things go south, that big scene where all of the everyday folk rise up against their oppressors? Okay, cool.

Just swelling reprise of the main theme. Great. So I'm going to call this, we're going to pay this forward, right, to when Pearl went to contact everybody in Stitchton, right? Basically, that was very successful. So the people have stitched and are like on board, they are ready. They're all finding excuses to be near their little train platform for this very reason, just in case like something goes off and, you know, that when that train pulls into town, y'all are going to have some backup.

Yes. Nice. Okay, so how do you get on board the train, Lulu? All right. I'm going to surreptitiously make my way to, and are all of these cars still warded? Still warded? Warded, except for the- They are warded, but you do currently have, Callan is now basically at the back of the train by himself,

so could possibly gain you access through the caboose if you can reach that. And then I would say if you want to utilize your connection to Eudora, there is right behind Guard 3 that kept, yeah, kept empty car. Udora could possibly let you slip in there if you can reach to the car that's kept empty between Guard 3 and the dining car. So I would say like through the two connections you have on the train right now, those are your best vets. Um, all right. I think that I'll probably head to the empty car just because it's closest. Uh, you sidle up. Uh, we're going to put you at the connection between the car that's kept empty and the dining car. Mm-hmm. So you, Dora is sitting there. She goes, I'm going to step in the other car and have a smoke real quick.

I'll be right back. So she steps into that kept empty car. So she's there waiting for you when you can get to that, uh, to that opening. All right. Now, I will say it's going to benefit you. Either you need some way to get to that opening unseen, or if you can figure out some kind of distraction or something that's going to give you a moment is all you need to get over there. In the train yard. I'm going to distract.

For mislead, distract or trick, I'm going to distract, cause a distraction. And that will take the form of a fire in the train yard. Oh, excellent. There's, you know, the track changers. Oh, yeah, the switch. The switcher, the track, the rail switcher, that part just goes up in flames. Oh, boy. Some terrifying shit, dude, magic, man.

One of those has to be the canonical name for that thing. The switcher, the rail changers You know The duchy The thing that's always in like The cartoons where it's like we gotta The track it ends, we gotta, you know Yeah

You get it So all right So I'm gonna roll with mine Please don't hurt Fan favorite character Roust While you're at it please Look if I did he'd just forget it I love Rouse

The fans don't get any favorites They listen to it. It's all recorded already. I don't care who they like. Beautiful. I like Rouse. Strauss is my favorite character so far. All right.

So I squeaked through with a seven. Okay, yeah. So you get to pick two. Create an opportunity and avoid further entanglement. Well, there you go. That's all you need. So basically, yeah, you see just this switch, you know, just basically, burst into flames.

And you hear a couple guards and other workers saying like, oh, damn it. It's another, you got to, rail riders need to learn to put their butts out in the, we put the trays out there for this very reason you can't, there's oil all over. God, somebody get the sand, get the sand. And they're all Russian to put it out.

And as they're going, you basically walk quickly, but with purpose. And you are able through this distraction tool, avoid any notice and you get up to that empty car there give a little knock on the door you door let you slip in i don't okay you're on i don't know how much more i can do but if you see a chance for me to help and i can't stress this enough without me getting in trouble uh just give me some kind do you want to do like a code word or something um yeah yeah a code word uh what's good for you

You gotta be something that doesn't come up in conversation much, like, I don't know, banana or could use the stoplight system of like red, red, you know? I like banana, but why it actually surprisingly says banana a lot. What about like coconut? Coconut? That seems, well, I don't know. It feels like that might come up in. That's true. It's just out of the top seven, I would say, maybe top five.

It sounds too close to cashew nuts, too. Oh, yeah. There's got to be some disambiguation somewhere. How about succulent? Succulent. Succulent. I like it. Oh, excellent. That's good mouth feel.

Yeah, excellent. Okay. If you see it, you work it in, and I'll do it. Guys, there are vampires on this train. I don't think I'd go with succulent. Well, maybe it's like I'm looking around my mind room to see what's on my desk. And succulent is there? I got a little stuffy succulent that sits here on my desk.

I don't know what to tell you. That's so cute. How about mischief? Mischief. All right. I think I cannot see how that one could possibly go wrong. Great. So she heads back.

We see just kind of moving down the train, right? If this was a movie, we'd get this sweeping shot of a spectral Augustus sitting just in the middle of the engine. as everybody moves through him getting it ready. We see Lulu hunkered down in the corner of an empty car ready. We see Lorelei anxiously waiting in the passenger car ready for everything to go off. We see Callan moving through the livestock car. You know, there's a cow bumping up against his head and Callan's like rolling his eyes, but then maybe reluctantly like patting the cow on the head.

Like, yeah. Okay. And then finally we end on Indrid, still stuck in his box. The box of Bobbins clearly labeled, we see maybe like one red lens up against like a hole in the wood. That box is unfortunately stacked under a couple boxes. He's probably going to need some help out of there, but everybody's on the train. And then in the shuffling madness of the locomotive's breath, it pulls out onto the tracks, out into the Crescent Territories Desert, towards

Stichton, towards adventure, towards mischief. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artists owned, audience supported.