The Adventure Zone - The Adventure Zone: Ethersea — Episode 1

Episode Date: July 8, 2021

The Gallery Job: Part One A Finner, an Orator, and a Brinarr walk into a bar. Well, first they walk into a job interview, and it doesn’t go so great, so THEN they walk into a bar. Join us for the start of a new adventure in the undersea metropolis of Founders’ Wake! For more info on this new setting, give a listen to our Prologue mini-series (or our special, abridged recap!) to hear how the Ethersea first took form. Happy MaxFunDrive! Right now is the best time to start a membership to support your favorite shows. Learn more and join at https://maximumfun.org/jointaz

When there's work that needs done beyond the walls of Founders Wake, that work must first pass through the sliding glass doors of the Blue Span Brokerage. This exceedingly modern office building towers over the rest of the gills, the city's sprawling port district, where submersible vessels are built, maintained, and launched into the Ethersea. At the Blue Span Brokridge, dealers and dispatchers connect clients and contractors, facilitating the dangerous and necessary business of deep-sea adventure. The company's superstar brokers ensure fair compensation and relatively safe conditions for their away teams and for their diverse array of clientele, they offer the traditional guarantee of a job well done.

Adventurers who can secure a position as a blue span contractor will never find themselves lacking in work, and those who prove themselves capable of handling the city's most challenging jobs will never find themselves lacking in anything. Those positions, though, are as limited as the dock space available within the Gills. When the brokerage is hiring, you can guarantee that anyone with dreams of finding their fortunes in the waters surrounding Founders Wake will hear about it. That's what has brought the three of you into the office of Ravi Montrell, an ambitious, silver-tongued blue-span broker, seeking new contractors to add to his rolodex. After waiting in a posh lobby filled with competing would-be adventurers, the three of you have been called into his office, greeted with the flashiest smile, and asked to take your respective seats. Ravi Montrell looks up from the clipboard he's been pouring over for the last few minutes and looks up at the three of you with amusement and says,

well, I like you. I like what I'm reading. The three of you, and I don't use this word lightly, you got a lot of promise, a lot of potential. And I think we could have a lucrative and long-lasting relationship built on trust and respect. And I'm over the moon. But let's compartmentalize a bit, as we say, in the world of business, the business world. Let's start with Devo LeMayne. Am I saying that right?

I'm sorry, Griffin, before we start, can you tell me anything about this world? Like, how does magic work? Sure, sure, sure. How did we get the, like, how do we get on the back? What's six? Seven millennias ago when the Dragon War, Bigot. Yeah. Go listen to that.

Listen, I know we said that the prequel episodes weren't going to be necessary to listen to. Psych. Psych. Psych. Hey, stupid. If they weren't necessary, why do we make them? Use your fucking noggin this time, okay? Oh, boy.

Okay, sorry, I didn't listen to them. I'll go back and check that out. Let's pause. Oh, shit, those are really good. They were and weren't a second. Yeah. Okay, walk me in again, Griffin. Someone said they were a little dry on Instagram.

It's like, they're the wet as possible episodes. Unfathomably wet. Devo LeMayne. Am I saying that right? This is very close. Divo Le Mermain. It's not too late. It's not too late to switch

I'm just saying that what you could Travis you are you have like one Grace cough Excuse me I don't know what happened to my regular voice No I've been practicing this for a long time This is how's Devo Lemaire This is Devo Le Mien

That's gonna take me some practice But I'm gonna get there right with you Devo it says here you Have recently become uncoistered Which is not something I thought could happened to a man of the cloth like yourself? Well, it took a lot of effort.

It was not something that happened by their choice, but by mine. So it is not something that normally happens, no. How long have you been in Founders' Wake with us? Have you tried the goulash? Oh, I have been here for about three months

at this point, and I have thoroughly enjoyed the Kestka, The stick of fish, you know this? Fish sticks and goulash are two main delicacies. Yes. It sounds like you've got everything you need to know about this city, fish sticks and goulash.

Not much else going on. There's a lot more here. Is this, oh, is this joke? You are, yes. Did they not joke in the cloister where Devo LeMaine was raised? He was raised pretty. much without companionship. Oh, wow.

The only companions he really had were instructors. Okay. And they were, as you might imagine, in strict religious instruction, not super wacky. Right. So Devo LeMayne is, was raised in the benevolent parish, the sort of sect that joined the shoreside community

and was a sort of founding part of Founders Wake. and, you know, follows the teachings of the vestige benevolence. Loosely. Loosely, yes. There's, they are, there was a fracture there. And he is also, as, as you alluded to, no longer as directly connected to them. Yes. As he once was, he's kind of struck out on his own now.

And we are calling him an orator. Right. So instead of him being a sort of priest-like character, he is. He is a bard. Yes, correct. A bard whose instrument is spoken word. A religious bard, much like Stephen Curtis Chapman. So you're playing a French.

That's appropriate because this will be the Great Adventure. Great adventure. Yeah. Settle up your horses. This is like the second, maybe third podcast we've actually talked about. I can't yet. Yeah, it's true. I also think I think.

Good Christian funnel, Suez. Yeah, I know. Just because I don't think we've ever said this explicitly about any Adventure Zone character. Devo is very pretty. I just want to throw that out there. I'm pretty sure I opened up a, I introduced Fitzroy as a handsome film. No, highly sexual is how I believe you. Okay, so that is Devo.

Okay, Devo, I like that. I'm seeing a name on here that I'm also really excited about. I'm just going to take a run at it if you don't mind. Zook. Zooks. Zooks. We? It is Zooks?

No. No. Oh, no. Zooks al-or. We should have talked about this. Mared. Actually, my real name is fish sticks goulog. No, it's, it's Zooks.

How you doing? Pretty good. I got to say. I love your sort of, I don't know if this is inappropriate to say, but your coral is lovely. It's branching off in sort of interesting patterns and it's a bouquet, a bouquet of color that I'm really enjoying. When I was constructed when I came to be, they went with different types of coral. A sort of goulash of coral. if you will.

Hey, Gulch, that's why my nickname is Fish Dix Goulash. Right, sure. Like the, my,

my head as you are looking at right now is a brain coral, so it kind of looks like a face. Like that, yeah. And in my eyes, I am also very pretty. Oh,

sure. Okay, well. And in the Lord's eyes. And it says here that you've got a bit of cartography experience. Tell me about,

I want to hear more about that. Well, I consider myself a mariner. I mean, technically we all are. We live in an undersea city. True, true. That would be submarination. That's fine, yes.

I'm a submariner. I'm a submariner. And I'm just kind of an explorer. I don't know. I really kind of embrace, you know, the unknown. I like exploring our world. Well, you've come to the right place. Zooks is a briner.

Do you want to give folks a very quick rundown on what the briner are? Basically, the rhinar is... You can speak in your Clint voice, if you want. This is Griffin asking. The Inar Plateau was wiped out by this mysterious, terrible disaster. Well, it was like a spell that essentially spirited everyone away to this other plane. and some spirits made their way back and needed bodies. And the scientists were able to construct these coral-based robot bodies

and infused them with the souls of the deceased Einar. Of course, the first Brynar, as everybody knows, who listened to the first five, was tessellation. Right. And it's not an easy process in viewing the constructs. So there aren't a whole lot of brinar. And also it is. But we basically function underwater very well.

You require, the briner require a certain amount of exposure to ether sea water. And we can figure out like what that looks like. You know, it's not like you all have, you know, fish bowls around your head parts. This ain't SpongeBob. It ain't SpongeBob, folks. No, if there's one thing I want you to know about either see folks, it's that this shit ain't SpongeBob. This ain't your dad's SpongeBob. It's SpongeBob-ish.

There was a sponge bob I watched where, like, there was a big pool of water that got, what? Yeah. The SpongeBob I watched where there were puddles that played a factor in it. I was, I was tripping out. I was like, kids, are you seeing this? Puddles of air? There are puddles of what? I don't know.

Worse water? Wetter water? So, Zuchs is a briner. One other thing about the brine art is it's sort of hard to manifest inside of one of these bodies. And so typically the souls that have come into it are usually many souls or several souls that have combined into one sort of identity, one sort of personality.

So we don't have to iron this out, but that's just something to think about for Zooks. It's like how... That's your fucking battle class. Oh, yes. Ranger. Yes. You are a Ranger. Ranger.

And we're kind of using a war-forged build for Zooks? The, you know, race and ancestry stuff in D&D Beyond, we are essentially just taking a lot of liberties with. I basically told you all to just, you know, pick one that had sort of interesting stuff for you. But War Forge definitely has some stuff there that will come in handy there. And the Zooks, just fun demonic advice for the spelling for folks at home, it's Zoo X, the Cool Zoo, where there's no walls or cages. or anything, man, they just let all the animals out and good luck. Here's some... These animals are going to the moon.

This is ZooX and... Yeah. Okay, I've fixed it now. Cool. Okay. It's like a fucking shareware puzzle game. Oh, I should have mentioned before about Devo because this is important. He only has nine hit points currently, so I imagine if someone sneezes in his direction,

he'll fly apart. Yeah, I started you all out as level ones. And we'll, you know, if you survive your first... It feels mean. It feels like you're making me play as a baby, as a toddler baby. I've decided. With my font and Nell hasn't closed up yet. Okay.

All right. So, man, I got to tell you something. I brought up the wrong character sheet. I was looking at Argo thinking that I was looking at Zooks. And it said 94 hit points. I said, I could kick Travis's ass. You could talk me to death. Yeah.

Which is kind of my thing. And looks like our last name here, Miss Gre, Miss Amber Grey. It's nice to meet you. It says here you've got proficiency in punching and kicking. And Calaisa got me. I'm sorry, let me clear out my ears a little bit. And can you say that one more time? And I'll scoot a little bit forward.

Kela Sae. means hello, Finners. We got our own kind of way of talking. Kela'sai means hello. And I called you, Gubby, because it indicates a lack of respect. That's great. I love that in a job interview setting. Hey, settle a bet for me, Gubby.

You soft or fancy. I, can I not be both? I can tell from your way of talking. It's one. And I need to know if you're not. soft or if he's fancy. Duppie. I like to think of myself as fancy in a business setting, but soft when I get home.

So you're going to be the boss man, is that right? If all goes well for you, I'm starting to feel like I'm the one interviewing for a position right now. Yeah. This is a wonderful powerplay. Amber, Amber, wait a minute. Are you Are you The shark

Slayer Amber Grie? Well, I ain't done so much of the slaying lately Because I killed him so good the first time But that is me, yes Amber Grie I'm getting a little bit of a serial killer life From Amber currently

I don't know if that's intentional I'm getting everything I need from Amber Grie right now Amber you This is Griffin talking Justin Amber is an older member of the team who was on the shore 25 years ago, part of the shoreside community. Talk a little bit about her. Amber joined up with, and boy, this is going to seem pretty out of left field if you didn't listen. If you did listen to the prolog, Justin introduced an NPC, and you were probably like,

he's going to have something to do with the NPC he just introduced. And you're not really. You're right. So old Joshi was a sort of charlatan up on the shore that started a school for psychic warriors to battle blink sharks, which used to be a problem in the old world of sharks that could teleport. So he founded a school of psychic warriors that could fight the blink sharks. And they're not like our real world sharks, which have a tendency to be villainized by the human world. These sharks were real jagoffs. Yeah.

Blink sharks were real jagoffs. And everyone assumed sort of that old Jossie was leading these psychic warriors to their deaths. But they managed to beat the blink sharks in part because, well, we haven't dealt. I wouldn't want to decide this unilaterally, you know, but it seems like old Josh you really didn't have quite a mastery of psychic abilities that he claimed to. What? I know, but Amber did discover some sort of latent ability within her, herself when she was out there. Right. And she, so she is a monk, you know, that is the closest approximation.

She's obviously not, you know, there's no monks in this, in this world. But that is the, that is the style. She's been living, you know, she stuck around with the, after they beat the blink sharks. she sort of continued to hang around with the other finners as they as they call themselves and wait for the inevitable return of the blink sharks. Yeah, we've talked, Joshie has his own district in the city called Joshy's Knuckle where the psychic shark fighting school definitely still has some sort of footprint, although I imagine that footprint is filled with cobwebs. and Amber is probably one of the only one of the sole practitioners of the art at this point. So has she taken like a position of leadership in? It's, so it's kind of per.

It's always been somewhat paramilitary and it's more para than military at this point. It's pari pari. They already have a paramilitary organization called the Iron Welks in the city. So this is like para, para, para, para, para, para, para, para. Yeah, more fraternity, I would say at this point. You know what I mean? It's like the Elks Lodge of shark hunters. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, yeah. So not a leadership in any sense other than like she has tried to keep people in fighting shape and ready to. And she was an adult in the Shoreside community, and that was 25 years ago. So I don't think they decided her age, but she is, you know. It's not crazy old like dad, but, you know. Hey, hey, hey. Wow.

How long? in are we? This might be a new record for an age joke. All right, all right. Not an age joke. A dad joke. It's important. We're making fun of specifically you. You. Okay, I feel better about that. Okay, cool, cool. In the long run. It is worth noting that you're reminding me, Deva is 23. So has never... Yes, you were born into the cloister, essentially, okay. And Zook's, how long ago was Zooks sort of amalgamated? Yeah. Not very long. We don't have to get more specific than that if you don't want to. Okay. We'll figure it out. Okay.

So, Ravi Montrell smiles at you. Amber looks back at the clipboard, shakes his head a few times, says, all right. I'm going to show my cards here. We've got some pretty standard paperwork. We've got to fill out, mostly formalities at this point.

Before we can start discussing the terms of our contract, you know, liability waivers, boring stuff. Oh, oh, your ship. I didn't even ask about your ship. A crew is just as good as the ship they pilot and vice voicer. So what are you working with? I'm going to make the first role of the game here.

Okay. And say that Devo is going to look to Amber to figure out how to respond. Okay. And I can tell you as the DM one truth about this world in your situation. And that is that you don't, you don't, none of you have a ship. Yes, we do not have a ship. So I'm going to roll Insight because the thing is, Devo's very good at convincing people of things. Right.

But he doesn't always know how to play a situation. Sure. Why don't you, yeah, I guess Insight would be to try to read everybody else's reactions in the room. Yeah. Can't give me an Insight roll? Nine total, five plus four. Yeah, I mean, that's not really enough to sort of telepathically figure out whatever. Okay, I'll resolve it like this.

Amber, Devo starts looking at you really weird. Okay, I look at him back weird. Great. Zooks, what do you do? I don't have a ship. Oh. I just don't have a ship. I don't, I swim a lot.

Right. And I've never had, you're sounding like the capital. This is Argo. You're sounding a bit. Daddy, a little argo-y. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't have a ship. You don't...

Acting. I don't have a boat. I don't have a canoe. Right. I don't have... I don't have anything. A dingy. A stingery. Sure.

I don't... Okay, but you don't have your own personal ship. The three of you as a crew have a communal ship, or what's the situation? Hey, we ain't got a ship. Oh We do not have a ship now Except for a friend ship Okay

This is We wait to get ship Until the job But we have We have A hypothetical ship We have ship I mean we've all got a hypothetical ship

Well we just need to get It now But a lot of people don't even want a ship And we do So we're we've started down the path Yeah We're looking for someone to give a ship We're ready for a ship

That's that's that's that's that this that is nothing The three best days of your life Yeah say have you heard this goby Three best days of your life The day you buy a ship The day you sell your ship And the day you decide it would be good to have a ship It's a distant third

What is up there? What is the fourth seeing a mama puppy give birth to a bunch of little other puppies That is nice All right I do you want to do six more I know I don't want her to do six more

I don't want that's the top ten Listen I like the three of you I do I could keep listening Days that good days Yeah Sink a ship and then get the insurance Right

This is probably And this is all revealing a lot of important personality stuff that I'm Bada-a-p-p-pah-la-loving and I just again the promise is there potential trust, respect, loving it. But you can't really take on

wet work without a ship within which to get wet. So, ah, you know what? I've got a phenomenal business idea. You've done it again, Robbie. I don't have to fill

these positions until the end of the week. So, how about this as the final part of your interview? You all have 48 hours to acquire a ship any which way you can't, except illegal ways, because I do need actual paperwork, no steelsies or herzies. You do need to acquire one legally. And how you do that, I will leave that up to you. I don't know your finances. You could take on unbrokered work somewhere in the city.

I will warn you that can be precarious, but you have two days. And if you can come back here and show me proof of your ship and that the ship is sea worthy, the job's yours. Does that sound fair? Sounds awesome. Sounds like a chance for us to bond, chance for us to get to meet people. Yes. Awesome. There's so many good things about this idea.

I'm stoked out of my gourd. They have gourds? Wait, do we have gourds under the sea, Griffin? It's a, yes, sea gourds. Okay. That, if you ever ask me a question like that for the rest of this fucking season, the answer is going to be yes, C blank. Okay, great.

Sounds good. That'll eat up some time, for sure. Great. He eyes you all. He puts his hand in, let's do a little hands in, and I know this is a little early. Well, do we, get a ship?

Do you notice this? Where do you get a ship? Traditionally, you buy one, used or new. The gills are filled with ships. Some contractors are you having a ship? Do I have a ship? Do I have a ship?

Is that we could buy. You want to buy my ship? I thought that was saved time. You want to buy my Cibugati? No, no offense, but if you are sitting here trying to get a job as a blues band contractor, you do not have the kind of fungible

assets required before to see Bugatti. But yeah, I mean, how much money you got? Griffin, how much money do we have? Not much. Functionally zero. Yeah, that would have been a wild thing of kind of like you open your pockets and there's exactly enough to buy

a boat. There's a boat amount. There's just a voucher that says one boat. One boat plus tax It was the weirdest thing That first episode was only 27 minutes long Roll a Just a charisma check

Me? Yeah You ask a question I think he genuinely 13, okay He genuinely wants to test you With this, right? So he's not just going to up and tell you

How to do what you want to do He wants to make sure that you can operate in this city Because that is just as important a skill here as, you know, any other sailing know-how. But he says, all right, listen, see Bugatti, way out of your price range. But if I were in your shoes, I would look for something used. And if I were for real in your shoes, I would look for something very, very, very used. So I would turn your eyes away from the lofty dry docks down here in the gills. And I would look more in a sort of junkyard-esque space, something of a fixer-upper,

because that is probably going to be much more attainable for you in the now 47 hours and 56 minutes remaining. All right, let's go. We got this. We got it. Just in the way you said that, Justin, I was picturing just Amber standing up so quickly, the chair fell over and walking out of the room. Like, that's basically, yes. Amherstans out walks up there.

Okay, Ravi puts his hand back out. I thought we were going to do a go team. Okay, you all. Go team. No, that's pre. You're right. It's too early for that. You go follow Amber and I'll see you all.

Looks like part of our team already goes. Yes. So the three of you step out of the Blue Span brokerage offices and out into the gills, which is the just huge dock district of the city down at its base. And it's basically just a huge city-sized moon pool with ships sort of bobbing lazily in their registered docking spots. And you just see countless seafarers loading cargo and patching up halls and embarking on excursions, sinking beneath the waters. And this district, the Gills, is the newest sort of infrastructural expansion for Founders Wake. It's just a big half-dome structure that is just clean, and it offers the...

these wide porthole views out into the oceanic expanse that's just full of these luminous starfish. And you just see hundreds of ships in all directions, vessels of varying shapes and sizes and colors and functions. All promising adventure to anyone brave enough to crew them, you all have two days to secure your own ship and your future employment with the brokerage. So. All right. Y'all try to come up with something. Yeah, I got an idea. We'll try it, we'll run it down if it doesn't pan out.

We're no worse for wear. You have a plan? She's walking away. I'm headed down to Joshie's knuckle. Okay. I'm following. Yeah. Oh, I bet.

Oh, yeah. They'd have ships, right? Brilliant. We're going to go down to the, um, we're going to go to the, um, we're going to go to the, Cloaca. That's our kind of hang out. Holy shit.

It's called me. What? Excuse me. What? Cloaca. It's where me and the other fanners hang out. All right. You hang out to your cloaca.

Don't Google cloaca. Don't Google cloaca. Hey, everyone? It's kind of a one-stop shop for birds, if you know what I mean. It's where birds do everything. It's where birds have mouth. food goes and cloaca where everything else leaves. Jesus. All right. Well, let's not use the back door to the cloaca. All right. No, I like the fact that Joshi's

knuckle has somewhere called the cloaca. Okay, you all head toward the Crystal Ascension then, which is the sort of huge lift, the sort of vertical highway that connects the different districts of Founders Wake. Joshie's knuckle is immediately above the gills and is this sort of unintentional, weird, leftover piece of the district above it that some sort of shadier characters moved into and kind of said, hey, this is our spot. So if there's something that you need that you can't find elsewhere or legally, Joshy's Knuckles going to be able to get that for you. But also, there's cool stuff there, too. There's a lot of exciting food opportunities for you. The city makes sure that your food and all of your sort of needs are

covered. But Joshy's knuckles is where you go if you want, you know, something other than some filler fish and seaweed for dinner. They got spices. They got, uh, it's, it is a, when you come off the Crystal Ascension and step foot into Joshy's knuckle, it is very humid, uh, because they

probably don't have access to the, uh, the city's core ventilation apparatus. But also, there's just a lot of smells for that very same reason. Not necessarily bad smells. Just, uh, strong, strong smell. I'm just going to tell you, Devo loves it. Yeah, sure. This is probably sensory overload for Devo, who was cloistered his whole life. So you go into Joshy's knuckle, and where's the cloaca?

This is somewhere that I imagine Amber's, I imagine Amber knows her way around Joshy's knuckle. You tell me where the cloyca. You just made up Joshy's knuckle. Hey, bud. It's to the left. You just made up. You just made up the cloaca. Okay, it's to the right.

Oh. Oh, you tricked me there. You wouldn't know how to wind it if he didn't know where you're going. It's like a basically kind of a clubhouse, like a rundown sort of clubhouse. There's some sandbags that have been propped up to sort of form a makeshift like punching dummy. There's some open like open space towards the back where, you know, training such as it is can happen. but it's like it's it's as much a hangout as it is sort of a gym but it's halfway between the two I'd say okay so this is a this is a a very common haunt for umber it sounds like if yes this is

that she is she is very well known she probably has the longest tenure here but there will be other um uh finners hanging around or else this will be a pretty pretty much dead end yeah sure uh okay no yeah you walk in and you see a lot of familiar faces and they you don't get the same response you usually get and you assume maybe at first it's because of sort of the company that you're keeping which we can leave the sort of the meat cute between the three of you

up in the air until later on you assume that's what it is but everybody kind of whispers and looks at you nervously a little bit Amber as you enter the establishment give me a name who's there give me the first person I say Oh Chauncey is there

Chauncey's a big lovable just goober you go ahead I walk over to Chauncey and I punch him straight in the stomach unarmed strike

okay go ahead and roll your attack roll here 21 17 plus 4 he's dead wait where did you roll that did you roll that in the oh you did yeah

oh weird I didn't get the notification V&B on that oh shit Chaunty da fuck Choncy fucking dies oh no he was Level 1 too. Roll, roll damage on Chauncey.

That's five damage. Yeah. Choncy doubles over and falls down and says, Oh, come on. Shit. I'm sorry, Chantz. I thought, you got to be ready. This is what I've been telling y'all.

You got to be ready for at any moment. What have we been training for? If I'm able sucker punch you in the gut, You go down like a little sack of tapioca. It's embarrassing. Were you trying to dislodge a bit of food from his throat? No, just trying to keep them on their toes. You know, people don't see blink sharks for a long time,

and they start to think blink sharks weren't ever real, and it's impossible to keep people ready for when they do come back and they will. Oh, they're back. Ambert, I am confused. You are worried that the blink sharks will come and punishes. them in the tummy? It's it. No, Devo, it's an awareness.

You know, I want them to be ready at any moment for some sort of attack, be it, Blank Shark or... A tummy punch? A tummy punch, or yeah, whatever. They just got to be ready. I'm trying to keep these boys hard. Oh, uh, Chauncey, are you ready now? Choncy looks up from the ground, Amber, and looks up, but doesn't look at you.

It seems to be looking a little bit higher than your head, and your keen monk awareness sort of picks up on that. So I'm going to give you advantage on this dexterity saving throw you're about to make. Oh, cool. Let's crank one of those out. Uh, looks like we got a 19. Shit. And a 20. Jesus Christ.

Pretty good. Okay. Um, I don't have crazy modifiers, by the way. These are just really 17 plus two. Yeah, the good ass rolls. Uh, okay. By the way, folks, this year we are rolling in Dungeons and Dragons beyond.

I'm seeing everything. 100% accountability. Yeah. No cheatsies. I mean, I can still. There's never been a Cheatsy in history, but now there definitely won't be anymore. Uh, You just sense from above you in the rafters hopping down the figure of a big burly man.

You can smell his sweatsuit as he comes diving down with a flying dragon kick out towards your head. And you hear him yell, vibe check! And he comes flying in your direction. And with this dexterity saving throw, I'm just going to say, He is at your mercy. What happens next is completely in your hands. I'm going to give him a quick, a quick chop to the throat. Okay.

You're not even enough to roll for that with a dexterity check like that. You sidestep his kick and swing an extended open hand upwards and catch him right in the throat. So it's more like, Vime, chip. And he hits the floor and rolls like. eight feet and crashes into a couple of bar stools that are reduced to to flinders and tenders. And he is laying still. And Zook's, Devo, I don't know why you'd ever have had a chance to meet old Uncle Joshy, but you see a man who is advanced in years and looks dead on the ground now.

And he is fully, just fully motionless. Okay, we need to agree on something because there is some nomen. Clayture we need to settle up because he was referred to alternatively as old Joshy and Uncle Joshy. And you seem to have gone with old Uncle Joshy. He can be any sort of arrangement of the four words. Okay, perfect. All right. Wouldn't it technically be older?

Uncle Joshy? Joshy, you embarrass yourself? That was shameful, but I love that shit. Everyone look at Joshy. That's what we need. We need that kind of awareness, everybody Joshi tried to kick my ass out of nowhere And everyone sees he embarrass himself pretty badly

Right But he wants to keep me ready That's love Ampera Joshy's not gonna be caught unawares Amper is he when they come back Is he dead? How hell I know? I'm a doctor Should I try to heal him?

Yeah, actually You got that ability? That's cool as shit Let me see Yes, let me see what that can do. And so Devo takes out a little, like, atomizer, a little spray bottle. Oh, okay. And sprays in his mouth. And this is, like, an atomized version. Is this the salt? The prestige salt? The prestige, yeah. Okay. For folks who didn't listen to those setup episodes, you should,

but also this is a sort of all in one spell regent that is essentially created from ethersea water distilled out and this salt is just the leftover. And a limited resource. And a very, very limited resource. So I don't know how you get your salt. I imagine it is like apportioned out by either the city or the church or whoever, the parish rather.

But yeah, you just have some salt. And so he sprays. and closes his eyes and whispers, Beware of my friends. Okay. And casts. Oh, that's going to be a plus healing for four points. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, you're all level one. Four points is fairly significant. I marked off your spell slot there for you. Yes, I'm going to be watching that shit. Okay. Okay. With that, he hops two, and you see Sean. See, look up at you from the floor.

And Chauncey's like, um, can, uh, hey. I was not worried you were dead. Oh, no, it's cool. It's, no, man, it's totally cool. He's very old. Yeah, no, yeah, for sure, for sure. Yeah, it's not a big deal.

He stands up and, uh, you used to see him hobble through these, like, saloon doors into a back room and you hear him just, uh, but man, uh, old Uncle Joshi's doing great. He stands up. You see him sort of grab. his Adams apple and kind of like readjust it back into place and he says

your vibe's looking pretty strong there Amber I'll be honest I was worried about your vibe whether you've been harnessing it keeping it sharp Check my vibe yep but it's uh It's disrespectful it's on point and you There little little guy I like that

That he's not little he's six foot two sir Oh he's six foot two Hey you six foot two guy I like that My name's old Uncle Joshy. I know everyone's exact height just by looking at him. It's one of my mini psychic powers. Oh, so okay?

Yep. You're 5'10. That guy over there? 4.4. I know everything about heights, and it's one of my many powers. Hey, Amber, you're looking great. Great chop to my throat. I'm going to feel that one in the morning

and every subsequent morning until the day I die. Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean the strike so hard, but I did want to teach you a lesson. Lesson learned. Hey, Charlie. Are you okay, bud? Charts is doing great.

He's in the back room, you can't see him, but he says he's doing great. That's our first t-shirt. Yeah. What brings you to our little cloaca here? Oh, boy, it sounds bad every time I say it. Well, we're in need of a ship, and I was going to see if any of these nerds had one, they could, you know, lend to me. Any of you nerds got ships?

they all shake their heads all right y'all it's worth a shot let's go one one moment may I interject surely there are ships used in the training of the shark slayers

listen to him listen to fancy training yeah we don't it's fucking class free every hear this training yeah we don't really

no we work like that yeah We tried. There was a good stretch, you know. There's a good stretch where we were really deep in the deep in it. You know, we were real, really always ready and waiting. And, of course, Joshie completely unintentionally helped me to discover my story. Hey, now.

Hey, now. Come on. Come on. Don't. Hey. Hey. Hey. Not again. All right. I can't.

My chopping hand. So my throat is pretty sore also, yeah. I bet it is. No, no ships here. Don't got the port space for it, but, uh. And we don't, we're not exactly flush with cash. There's been a, not a lot of people signing up to prepare for battle for the inevitable return at the blinks.

Sure, sure. I would loan you some money. You know that. I'm talking, I'm not, why would I be saying that to Josh? Oh, you're right, yes. I'm absolutely not saying that to you. Just your mind of how poor. Poor we are.

Yeah. Yes. Well, I'd loan you some money if that were even remotely within my sort of character. But that's not, that ain't me and you know that. He's, hey, Zooks, Devo, he is holding out. But there's no point in challenging him because he'll just dig deeper. Oh, no, but he's loaded, but he's not going to give you a cent. But so threatening him with violence, like pointing a crossbow at him would be counterproductive.

Loving this guy. This is great stuff over here. I don't know. Point the crossbow. Yeah, point of crossbow. Let me check you a fucking vibe. Now, wait. Before violence, you seem like someone who knows how to get things, where things are who has things a connector.

Yes? Yeah. Yeah. Make a persuasion check with advantage because you healed him. Hell yeah We'll see how much she's willing to Oh that's a 24 Oh yeah

That's plenty fine Yeah unless you crit And then eight Okay we'll take the 24 on that one He says I'll be honest I'm still feeling Pretty zonked

Pretty zooted From that spell you cast on me And I like you I like you I like you with the crossbow That's fun stuff Give me a minute Thank you

You see him a hot behind a bar surprisingly sprightly for a gentleman who just got throat chopped and he picks up a tone wheel which is sort of the this season's equivalent

of the Stone of Far Speech it sort of hums you change its sort of frequency We're setting all this up Just say a cell phone Oh shit yeah It's basically a cell phone That you tune to

It's more of a hand Shell phone! That's good! God damn it! Okay some people call him shell phone phones. Damn it. That's really good. He tunes it to this frequency and you hear it sort of hum and he talks into it. He says, hey, Mona. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I need a favor. Yeah, I'm going to send some folks your way. You're going to cut him a nice deal, okay? Okay. Oh, you, you are a catbird. I'll talk to you later. And he walks back

over. He says, okay, up in the gunw is a junkyard called Desdemona's Hall. You head up there, Mona's going to hook you up right. Is it H-A-U-L? Or H-U-L-L? Yeah, that's the thing. It's like a play on words. It says

H-blank-blank L on the sign, and then it's up to you to decide if it's clever or not. Oh? Yeah. So, head up there. Tell him old Joshi sent you. And she's gonna get you set up just right. Now, will it be a fine vessel that they'll talk about in legend? Is it gonna make the cover of cool ships monthly?

Probably, definitely not. But what do you need a ship for anyway, Amber? I'm taking all a little bit extra work. Down at the brokerage? Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, if you need work, there's plenty of opportunities here on the knuckle. gotta know where to look and also be okay with the fact that you might die or be double-crossed

at any moment. Yeah. When I say it like that, it actually sounds like a bad thing. You can hear it. All right. All right. All right. All right.

This is your crew? We're working together. We're kind of, it's a three-way kind of deal. I do not just say yes. Well, I don't want to make it seem like y'all roll up to me. I feel like we're kind of co-capped. But then we would still be your, yes? Just say yes.

He says, I mean, the distinction. This is a fun guy. I love this guy. Yeah. Yeah, they're my crew. I mean, you all seem great. I love healing guy and crossbow guy, but, you know, why didn't you pick a crew from right here?

And as he says that, Chauncey comes out of the backroom with a tray with a bunch of like cups of tea on it. He says, hey, everybody, I got just any trips immediately and like just goes flying everywhere and tea goes launching and cups go shattering. And Chaunce starts crying and immediately Uncle Joshy is like, you know what? I'm getting a lot of questions answered for me immediately by the actions of the space. You go with God. This is great stuff. I want to make a dexterity saving throw to see you. if I can help Chauncey from falling down.

Sure, sure. No, it's a four plus three, a seven. Okay, you go to help him and you end up just kicking broken cup stuff into his face. Oh no, mad. He's like, oh, this is like the opposite of healing, bro. Oh, Truncee, I am sorry.

He stands up and he says, I'll go get some more, but you guys will probably be gone by a time. I get back out and he goes back in the back room. I'm glad that we've introduced our first tragic character so early on. Yeah, for sure. He's going to definitely be, you guys were best friends with him in the past that you forgot about. And he's incredibly integral to the world lore.

And he's going to be the champion of everything. He's going to be the one that can use the sword that is made out of Holy Light. Of course. You said we're, well, we've done it before. True, true. What? We're heading to the gunwale, correct? Yes.

The gunwales is the very top level. Not quite yet. Oh, not quite yet. Okay. No, because you all look over and see that Zooks is staring at a sea photograph on the wall. Oh. And he just can't. Sorry, did you say it's just a picture of the sea?

No, it's a sea picture. It's a sea picture. It's like a photograph trap, but it's in the sea. Oh, but it's in the sea. Okay, great, good, okay. And he's staring at this and he turns around and he says, I have heard so much about this hero. Mint clackle roll.

Stop, we're leaving. He said, get out, get the, how dare you mention that name in this? Get the fuck out of it. He was killed by Blink Sharps. Get out of here. We don't talk, we don't use that name in this establishment. Wait, is his son, Zooks, I am not kidding with you. And I just happen to know your name because it's one of my many psychic powers.

I also know that you are six foot nine. Get the hell out of my sight. Nice. Before we go and negotiate for this ship, I would like to talk to the smartest person I know. They will give us guidance. It is what they do. They will tell us the best way to get the ship from this Mona. I'm not sure how I can tell you anything I haven't already told you.

Oh, this is very funny. It is not you. I did not mean you. I meant my guide. my friend we need to go my teacher if you will so we will go to the school and we will talk to my teacher

misunderstood sorry okay are you all cool going to the schoolhouse up in the ballast yeah one not another trip on the Crystal Ascension and you step off of the sort of top of this city tower which is the ballast which was the first

sort of structure part of the city It is essentially an arc, a gigantic ship that has been repurposed as the main hub for this city. It's got the ballast, which is the seat of government in the city, as well as a few sort of essential communal properties, including the schoolhouse, where you have been staying, Devo, and you all make your way there. and who else should open the door? Brother Seldom, who smiles and he says, Devo, you've brought friends. Ah, bonjoursela. These are my best friends.

This is Inver, and this is Zux. Ah, hello. A pleasure, a pleasure. Kalesai. Yes, Kelisai to you. Zook is a choral person. Yeah, I, yeah, like, yeah, Devo, like, wicked yeah

oh okay it was new to me we need your help your guidance we need I've never asked do you have a ship

do I have a ship my you want to know about my sea Bougari just kidding I couldn't possibly I don't possess a ship I really don't have a need for one I also don't know how I would secure dock space for one.

I suppose for field trips for the younglings. You know what? Now that you mention it, I'd love a ship. Hey, so this is, this guys of the church. He is long since defected from the church. He is a sort of non-denominational instructor at this point. This is not a religious facility whatsoever. How does Devo know him?

So, this is a great. question. The answer is the broadcasts were part of what inspired Devo's defection from the church. And so when he left the church, he sought out Brother Seldom. Yes. Brother Seldom's broadcasts, which were sort of the narrative framing device for the prologue episode. He's something of an educational

DJ blasting out these lessons and what have you via the tone wheel. He's kind of the Bill Nye. So he's based on me. He's based on Clint McRoy, yes. No, I don't possess a ship. I'm guessing you need one for your tip to join the brokerage.

Yes, we are supposed to buy one from a Mona. Do you notice this person? I don't. This is a big city. I mean, do you need money, Devo? No, we will be negotiating So I assume money, yes, I think we probably will need money, Ambert? That was great.

I love that we did a whole thing there. I mean, I don't have a lot of money, Devo. I can loan you. No, I do not want to take your money. How much, hey, Griff, I guess what I need from you currently, some key information that we don't have is like, how many people's guts boats? because it sees like

underwater, maybe we were thinking it's like a car, you know what I mean? But maybe it's not like a car because so far nobody's got boats and I'm kind of thinking like how many... Well, it feels like we're... It feels like we're in New York just and we're walking around knocking on doors

saying who's got a car. And like, a car. I don't have a boat license. What are you talking about? I can walk everywhere. But everybody wants one because there's only one model, I guess, the Seabug got.

There's many... I mean, the sea Bugatti is what you aspire to. No, I mean, this city is self-contained, and the ethersea is incredibly dangerous. It is a magically infused, uncharted ocean, right? And so a lot of people don't go out there because they don't want to fucking die. So that is why the Gills is such an important part of town

and why the brokerage exists. Is this like, would this be like wandering around asking people if they had a submarine? Would it be like asking people, I mean, I guess if they had a real boat? in right now here because I guess that it would be wild for me to just start randomly asking people I know if they had a boat I would probably have about the same hit I mean I'm thinking about it like a like future space station colony situation where people live there and have lives there but they don't necessarily want to go out into the vast deadly vacuum of space it's essentially the same thing like people live their lives in the city and it's a huge city with lots of stuff to do but like if you need some from outside the city, whether it's like reclaiming some sort of salvage or whatever, you need a ship.

And there's a select few people who actually, you know, have the gumption to do that. That is the whole conceit of the brokerage. So yeah, it's, it's, yeah. So we will need a lot of money. A decent amount of money, yes. So this leads me to my first question, Sally. When we are negotiating, is this one of those circumstances where you take the first offer? I mean, how much money do you have, Devo?

Oh, this many? Since my DM has not told me and I do not know how money works and perhaps we are using some shiny shells or some shit. Hey, what's the money here? What do you call them? The money here was essentially created by old Uncle Joshi and it's called Lux.

And it stands for luxuries. So essentially it is a, a, a currency that sort of first formed around that. A ship, you would guess a ship costs about, a ship costs about 20 lux, you'd say. I'm just going to go and say, Devo has no lux. Yeah, no, but none of you have lux between you. So if you could give us 20 lux, sir,

that would be great. Is this a lot? And he kind of leans over to Amber and says, should I pull out my crossbow to emphasize the point to this gentleman? know what, save it. I'll let the impulse, but save it. Okay, I'll save it for the negotiations. He roots around his pockets and you see him say,

I've got like a few luxes. I could give you a loan, but I don't. No, no, no. Listen, Joshie steered us toward Mona. Mona's going to get us all set up. I don't want to be beholden to this, I would say that he's very doubtful, and I am new to this, obviously, but I do not believe that Mona's opening offer will be free for zero, zero money.

Yeah, but why get indebted to somebody and then have you get indebted to somebody else and we still don't have enough for the ship? Oh, so you actually expect us to pay this loan back? Oh, we would pay Sully back. Yes, it would be, it is a loan. I tell you what. He goes inside for a second and he comes back out and he is holding a plate, a silver plate with a set of scales on them, with a hand sort of behind the scales, which you recognize as sort of the symbol of benevolence.

He says, and he hands it to you, Devo, and he says, if you need collateral, you can give them this. I have no need for artifacts of the past like this. It would be cool to get it back, but here, take it. And he also reaches in and pulls out a little pellet that he hands to you, which you know is the prestige salt that you require.

So go ahead and mark that spell slot off bat. I would like to try to slight of hand that, if we could. No, it's a 12. total. Yeah, I mean, you guys clock that he's, he just got magical salt from, but we're trying to be sneaky about. Let's be clear. Neither Selly nor Devo are sneaky, but we're trying. Hey man, I rolled a 19, I rolled a 19 for seldom. So shit. He did pretty, he did pretty good. Uh, okay. Yeah. Okay, well then let's say that Sally is trying to hide that he has this stuff. And Devo has only recently become aware that everyone does not have access to it like he did in the cloister.

Yeah. Okay. So he kind of forgot that he was supposed to be sneaky. He's so disappointed in you too. He is very frustrated. Cool. Do you have anything? Was that all? Say thank you. Thank you. This is all. I will probably not to be back for dinner. But if you could say miss up. I shall do my... best, but I'm a growing boy. This is a good one.

Well, see ya. Okay. Do we have to a full... You want to see some Fortnite dances? I've been learning Fortnite dances from the kids. I didn't realize that this was going to be the campaign where we had to definitely say goodbye to everyone every single time. So the Crystal Ascension platform reaches its peak and you all step foot into the sort of sprawling industrial complex called the, the gunwale.

Oh, I wanted to ask Griffin. Yeah. The gunnel here is located at the top of the kind of structure, right? Yeah, so Founders Wake is built into a cliff. On a cliff's face, this is like the top of the cliff where it's, you know, things kind of sometimes fall from the surface world and storm and debris and all that jazz. So this is the closest point to the surface. What's the visibility? Like, are there like windows or their viewports or there?

Oh, yeah. I mean, it is a bunch of different large. buildings connected by tunnels and you know we can just imagine full-blown like glass tunnels like in an aquarium or something like that and when you look up you can see this uh hallow climb natural barrier that is keeping the enormous chunks of flotsam and jetsam at bay uh and you can see these occasional flashes of sort of soft green light coming through the cracks uh as as sort of this unnatural lightning from the storm, cast its light, you know,

hundreds of meters below the surface of the ocean. As you make your way through the gunw, you do see a facility where there are some, there's a lot of junk just kind of scattered around and half buried in the sea floor outside, and that is Mona's Hall. And you walk inside and see just like ships, stacked up hither and yon, and they all look like they've never really worked.

There are maybe a few that stand out that, you know, still have some paint on them, but a lot of them have been sort of rusted into oblivion. And there's also, there are actually some new ships that have whatever the equivalent of a boot on them is, because you can tell from sort of the signage around here that Mona also does some, like, rescue towing services. She sees you in her. She is just a small young woman. She's wearing actually tone wheels on her ears,

which she kind of sighs as she sees the three of you walk in to her establishment, and she takes some offices. Are you guys, like, like Joshi's friends or whatever? Enchanté. Yes. I'm Devo Lehmann Inbergh

Zux None of the words that you've said so far have registered as like words that I understood to me so far This is fair

Yes Devo May I Oh yes Kela Saga Gapie we Joshy sent us down here For a ship

He said you could help us Get set up Now come on What was the What was the last thing You said now come rolling uh

roll a persuasion check for me Amber yeah that's her fucking strong suit yeah I do like how you you basically pushed the persuader rapidly you drop kick the face

and said I got this he's doing so bad isn't I know so I guess when some lose some is that applicable here could Zook's help no I actually I'll give you advantage because you got sort of

old Uncle Joshy's endorsement. So roll one more. 19 minus 11, 18. All right, yeah, with an 18. She laughs and says, you guys are great. I sense a lot of promise and whatever.

You all need a ship, huh? Well, what's your budget? Like, what are you working with? Is this? And the demon holds out the plate. Everything. thing. We don't need to own it.

What? We don't need to own it. We just need a loaner so we can get started and then we'll get it back to you. This is just a kind of introductory thing. So we just need to borrow it. And we could trade in like, you know, favors or whatnot. I'm sure you need something from the deep. We're going to be out there, you know, mixing it up. Okay.

What can we get you? When you mention favors, her ears kind of perk up. And she takes a look at the three of you and says, are you guys like experienced in the face of like danger and stuff like that? Oh, no. Oh, yes. Yeah. Absolutely.

So two of you are. That's when I shine. He's modest over there. No, I have never been in danger. Oh, boy. Okay. What a kid. I have magic powers.

Okay. I can do this and Devo makes light. She goes, okay, and she makes light. Who gives a shit? You can make light? Yeah, dude, like whatever. Wait a minute, Griffin. What?

I thought magic was very limited here. Yeah, that's weird, right? What are the odds? Oh, man, I just don't tell anyone, okay? It's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. I can't believe I just made light. That sucks.

Anyway, whatever. Hey, it's not a big deal. We're just all friends. See, now I just made light of the situation. Oh, that's great. I've got an opportunity that is potentially lucrative, almost certainly very deadly, and so I couldn't really recommend anyone that I knew for it,

that I'd be sad about if they passed away. Oh, yes. But the three of you seem like you could really use some help and a ship. And we are expendable. Yeah, for sure. You definitely seem that way. So give me a second. She pulls out a card.

The audience has not started doing fan drawings of us yet. And so if we die, we just introduce new characters. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, great. She's not listening, clearly. she walks over to a file cabinet and pulls out a small card and she writes down something on it and hands it to you, Amber. And it says J117 on it. And you sort of intuit that this is a... Oh, I've seen this. Now you write a number on the card and slide it back. And that's our counteroff.

I say we go with W1. She says, yeah, some dude came in here earlier today and offered a job and asked if I had a salvage crew for it and wouldn't tell me what the job was all about. And so I was like, no way, dude. And he was like, are you sure? And I was like, yes. And so he got all fussy and said if I changed my mind to come to this dock space. And so I would get a commission on this one. and if you guys can do this job and survive,

come on back and bring me the paycheck, I guess, and then the ship is all yours. You can take your pick. We got some real junkers in here, but maybe I can give a little spit shine. I shall warn you, I only have a little bit of blood, and so if I get hurt, I assume that's what hit points are, the amount of blood I have in my body.

Yeah, it's nine bloods. Yeah, I only have a little bit of blood. So if I get hit, I try not to. Yeah, you know, he seemed like a pretty stand-up dude, except for the part

where he wouldn't tell me anything about the job and how KG he was. So that's about the best I can offer. We don't have any sort of, like, there's not like a summer promotion going on where you can get a ship for a cool plate.

It's a very cool plate. It's great, great plate. Love it. Do you want to hold on to the plate and you give us... No, I'm more of a bowl girl. What's that mean? Like bowls instead. But the plate is just a flat bowl when you think about it.

I am sick of this dude's vibe. Amber, now? Should I do the crossboy? Yeah. I don't know. You know, you got your got. Okay, I'll win. She is just looking at the three of you talking

to each other like that and just slowly kind of puts her headphones back on. Okay, let us go to this dock space. We get the money. We get the boat. We get the job. We are happy. So you all make your way back down to the docks, and the crystal ascension sort of lets out at the center of just all of these different radials that are lettered and numbered,

and you follow down until you reach spot J17. And even when you're still pretty far from the spot, you can see this incredibly gaudy, like, turbo yacht. It looks like, what's that design that's like on the old, like, paper cups from the 90s that everybody's just crazy about? The Dickey Cups? No, no. No, not that. I know the one you're talking about, like, the...

Yeah, there's just like a splash of blue paint with, like, Jazz? In the call jazz? It's a jazz-like sort of design audit. And there's a name across this ship, across this streak of color. And it says, Dreams of Deborah.

And you walk towards it and you see a very nervous-looking Brynar who is walking around. And he sees the three of you approach and says, yeah, can I help you? use a cagey man that is looking for some kind of sketchy reclamation thing I don't like to think myself as cagey but um I what do you what do you what do you I return to the question can I help you

friend Brynar yep hello hi there how are you once again not you do not let the face talk us about If you want to roll a Roll a wisdom check for me Zooks, we'll see if you know this guy. No, I know. Holy shit, a two. You've never seen... That's a two. You have never seen this

this brine art in your life. It's obvious. It's a brine art. And nobody you know has ever seen it. Yeah, this is a fucking stranger. And once I meet him, I'm going to immediately forget it. Yeah, maybe. He says, oh, did you guys, do you guys get the, are you the crew?

Did Mona send you? Yeah, we heard you got something that needs doing. Yeah, that's about. You don't want people to know about this. It is a secret. Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Yes. I love, I love the, I love the enthusiasm.

But when you're talking to people that are maybe a little, bit under the table, you know? Yes. It's better maybe to say a little bit less. Ah. Because that way it makes you seem to cool. Okay. Like you know what you're doing and you're not a complete clasper.

Okay. Let me try again. Hey, yeah, you guys, hey man, do over for sure. Go for it. Thank you. If you could ask me, could you ask me the question? Oh, okay. Yeah, are you, did Monison, you guys?

Yes. Fantastic. Real good And I just give the thumbs up back And you all Thank you I appreciate the feedback And you all are sort of experienced And sort of know your way around the ship

Yes Oh yeah Not really But I'm sure my other two compatriots are really good at it Okay I love You all seem very talented And you're asking me literally

no questions, which is awesome. What do you need done? Yes? We've got to go get something. Got to go out there. Got to go out there, get something. Well, what do you need get it? Roll a persuasion check for me.

I'll let... I have to persuade him. Tell me what the thing is that he wants us to do? Yeah, he wicked doesn't want to tell you. Devo, I'll let you assist on this one. What's his cat's name? Oh, boy. You haven't asked it yet.

That's how weak. Because he didn't want to give it. Mona said specifically, they didn't want to give a name. But she did say he was cagey. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry, guys. I have to do this.

Zooks whips up the crossbone, points up right at the other Brynar's face. Cool. Cool. Okay. And says, we really have a limited amount of time to deal with this. So would you go ahead and inform us of what it is you need us to do? And maybe throw your name in there. too. Hey friend, I've never seen him do this. I'm kind of fucking flipping right now.

Like now? I don't know him that well. Man, I'm kind of freaking out over here. You should do what he says. As you can see, this also indicates that we are people who gets the job done, that we will stop at nothing, that you can trust us. So clearly, we are demonstrating our resourcefulness, our skills. Roll in an intimidation check for me, Zooks. Okay, so let's see. We roll intimidation with advantage because everybody is kind of helping you out on this one. The first role is a 13. Okay. And the second role is a 14.

Okay. I think this guy crumples under an intimidation check in a way that he maybe wouldn't to a persuasion check because you see him sort of like, he gets a little bit scared. He backs up a little bit. He was already pretty jumpy. And so this definitely pushed him over the edge. He said, okay, all right, fine, fine. Put that down. Jesus.

All right, my name's Guthrie. I'm an archaeologist. I was part of a crew that mutinied on my last job, and I haven't had a chance to hire a new team, but there's this opportunity. There's an old gallery that's from an old hominine citadel, and it just fell through the hallow Klein. It's at the floor of the ocean, just a few hours from here. And we get there.

I recover what I can from the gallery and I get back. And we probably won't hit any complications. It is in Corsair territory. So we may have a pirate thing or two, but that's why I need the crew. And I can't sail this big, big, awesome ship by myself. Okay. This seems fine to me. You say that there will probably be no complications.

that there may be a pirate, but this is not for sure, and so it sounds fun to me. Right, it could be a great job that you all like tell your kids about all the great times you had on it. Okay. We might become like best friends.

Who knows? Well, I do you have to. Amber, what do you think? I think it fucking stinks, right? But I don't see as we got a lot of other options right now. I meant, you know, should I shoot him or not? No, no, sweetie. Oh, okay.

Do put the bow down, yeah. Amber roll an insight check for me based on your suggestion that something stinks. Tim? Yeah, it's fine. Oh, my mistake. You see Guthrie nod and somebody like drops a, here's what I'll give you, somebody like drops a box

in like a fairly close by port. J-117 is like wicked far out from the ascension. so this is like not highly traffic territory. So when he hears this sudden sound, he gets like kind of jumpy and looks around. I would like to do a perception check if I could. Okay. Is he, and I don't know Brynard, if clothes is the right terminology,

but armor maybe, does it look nice? Does it, does Guthrie? Yeah, he's wearing like a long white coat, a 22. I got a Nat 20. Yeah, with a Nat 20. Like, yeah, he is, he is, he is dressed well. I think that, like, Brinard fashion is, I mean, it's like any other fashion. It differs from person to person, but, like, you know, he's not wearing rags, right?

He is. So he looks at home on the boat, right? Yeah, I mean, he looks, he looks kind of like a nerd. You don't know if he looks at home on the boat, but he, you know, he is not, I don't know what you were trying to get there. Like he looks... He doesn't look rich. Like he doesn't look... He's not wearing gold chains and diamond earrings and all kinds of stuff.

Okay, so we have this big flashy gaudy boat and he is not dressed in a big flashy gaudy manner. He's dressed like a scientist, kind of. Got it. Okay. He says, okay, let's roll out. And he leads you over to the entrance hatch on the ship. And he rolls it open. and climbs inside and gestures for you to follow.

Amber? Yeah. I think we both agree that I don't think this is his boat, but it is our boat, and we do need this money. We are doing this job, right? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Okay. What an awesome boat!

Oh, boy. Zooks goes in. Okay. Follow de Breiner, huh? Okay. You all step foot into the ship And he You know still looks pretty jumpy

But as you shut the hatch He kind of relaxes a little bit And he says Okay, the bridge is this way And he goes and opens the door to the bridge And he says which one of you Is the pilot? Who knows how to control a ship?

Well Zeus Do you know how to drive? No swimmer here, remember? Oh, Ambaya, you have both things, to be honest. Yeah, I'll figure it out. None of you know how to pilot a ship.

There's got to be a book. I want to look around for a book. Hold on, I'm looking for a book. Let me roll for books. Roll a perception check. What's just saying? Perception investigation. Okay, roll an investigation check because...

Thank fuck. I got a seven on my perception. Not a lot better. I got a 12 on investigation. 12 is enough. With a 12, you don't find a book. But you do see, as Guthrie is starting to go off, like, why did Mona send you if you all can't pilot a ship? Like, what do you even fucking do it?

As he's saying that, you see a hatch open up in the ceiling of the bridge behind him. And from it, a cube made out of what appears to be just bright, white, hard light drops down. And then it flashes red a few times. And then it starts spinning violently. and then it launches with tremendous force in your direction. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned, audience-supported.